The Body Is Acting Out Because You Won't

This episode is not gentle—and it’s not supposed to be.

We’re talking about what’s actually underneath that feeling of being invisible… in your work, your relationships, your family—and the part no one wants to admit:

Sometimes it’s not that you’re unseen.
It’s that being seen would require something you’re not fully available for.

We get into how the body steps in when you won’t—creating symptoms, discomfort, and disruption as a way to force visibility back online.

Because suppression doesn’t just disappear. It reroutes.

We also go into the uncomfortable truth about commitment—why people say they want change, but don’t follow through—and how that erodes self-trust over time.

And we’re naming the gap in most healing spaces:
They focus on what’s easy to talk about—not what actually creates change.

This is about the layers people skip.
The ones that cost you years.

If you’ve been doing the work but still feel stuck, overlooked, or disconnected from yourself… this conversation will show you exactly where to look next.

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Connect with Taylor

Connect with Adrienne

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the TNA podcast. Really should have hit record five minutes ago because the stuff that we were talking about is so juicy. So we're gonna try and recreate some of that conversation here. You're listening to the TNA podcast. Totally not appropriate. We're your hosts, Taylor Sappington, a cosmic cartographer, medical astrologer, and herbalist decoding the intersection of soul, body, and belief.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

And Adrian Irazari, a psychoalchemist trained in East Asian medicine, vibrational healing, and the sacred science of your nervous system.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Together we blend ancient tools, clinical wisdom, and unapologetic truth-telling.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

From main events to metaphysics, tarot to tonics, karma to cancel culture, nothing is off limits and everything is on the table. This space is for the boldly curious, the ones who crave uncomfortable conversations, crave deeper insight, and are done pretending that they don't feel what they feel.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

So turn it up, tune in, and don't say we didn't warn you. Welcome to Tatiana. The conversation we've had leading up to today's episode is really all about saying the thing out loud that all of you are thinking but terrified to say.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Me too.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

My Libra rising keeps my bitch in check. You need your Libra Rising to sit down. You know, it's interesting. There's a video circulating. I think you sent me a counter-argument or a counter conversation. There's a video circulating Instagram right now that basically says, you just gotta be a bitch or you're gonna end up with an autoimmune disease. Yes, right. And I think that video has gained a lot of traction because it resonates. Like many, many women resonate with that message because many, many women and men, right? I have had some experience with men in this capacity, but the majority of my experience is personal and with other women in relation to other women, right? We tend to not want to rock the boat, be the peacekeepers, ensure that everybody else's needs are met before our own needs are met. Umstrogen. Well, we don't want to disappoint other people, and we certainly don't want to deal with rejection. Because rejection essentially equates to we're dying. And that's just not the case. That's conditioning, that's program. It's like being born and placed into a program where your computer is like our iPhones constantly get updates, right? And Instagram is constantly changing its background software. We are constantly exposed to people, places, situations, and scenarios, as well as narratives that update our programming to always recognize and understand that we are here to please the people.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

This is like what we were just talking about pants. Yeah. Like, how are we in 2026, right? And we are still so saturated in measuring ourselves off of beauty standards. Because, like, I just sent a picture to my husband, and I was like, it might not look like much, but I can button my pants, my size 11 jeans, for the first time without pushing baby skin around in order to get them buttoned or laying down on the bed for the first time since I had our son. And I was so proud of that because I'm like, holy crap, man, everything that I'm doing is actually like starting to move the needle slowly, but it's moving. Right. Right. As a perimenopausal woman, any of you listening, I'm sure you can appreciate how moving the needle in small incremental amounts can really brighten your day because that needle is really damn stubborn after 40. So that was a huge moment for me. But how much of that is conditioning? How much of that, this need to protect, right? Your heart and how you think people view you. And it's so much more than just beauty standards. It's how we present ourselves to the world, it's the way that we talk, it's how we choose our words. I talked about this on another podcast, and I can't remember if I talked on about it on here, but like just look at the vice presidential debates when Trump and Pence were running and Kamala Harris was the other vice presidential candidate. This is not a political statement, guys. This is just like, look at how we're socialized. Okay. So in that debate, I made my kids watch it because one, I think it's important for them to just be aware of what's happening in the world around them so that they can make informed decisions. But also, this became incredibly apparent that no matter what she said, she had to smile after every statement she made. Pence never smiled like once, right? But nobody said that he was being bitchy. He was confident, he was put together, right? Kamala had to smile after everything because if her face was somber or her face was neutral, people perceive that as bitchy or brash or assign all kinds of other nasty words to it. So I think some of like this being a bitch thing like really isn't bitchy, it's just speaking your fucking truth. And because we've been so saturated in this understanding that if a woman speaks up, it makes her inappropriate.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Fuck that shit. So let me ask you a question, right? You listening too. I'm gonna ask you this too. Because this is a question I ask myself a lot these days. Most people's identified truth is just rooted in patterns. Your personality is a pattern, it's a compilation of patterns, right? So your truth isn't actually your truth. Your truth comes after poking at the patterns, after untethering yourself from the habits and the patterns, right? Who you are sits underneath all of the patterns that present as your personality, right? So I think a lot of people are, you know, sinking their teeth into what they think is their truth, but their truth is really just rooted in patterns that they are unconsciously playing out and calling their personality. I think we have a much bigger need for most people to slow down and do the uncomfortable work of looking at their patterns one by one, right? Because when we come to understand our patterns, our relational patterns, our verbal patterns, our where do we go when we're stressed, what happens when we're sad, how do we deal with things when we're in collapse? They're all patterns. Right. When we understand our patterns, that's when we can actually change not just our habits and our personality, but our actual energetic frequency. This is why most of the time when you, the listener, walk into someone's office and you want help, you're merely just going to try and find pivots to the patterns that actually need to be illuminated and deconstructed. And as soon as someone starts poking at the pattern that you call your person personality, that's when shit one gets real and two gets real uncomfortable. This is where people either sink or swim, stay or leave. My experience, I've seen far more people leave when shit gets real and their patterns are on the table in a clear way where it's like, you can't actually hide this from me, but more importantly, you can't hide this from you because once you see it, you cannot see it. This is really who you want to be, and it's uncomfortable, super fucking uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

It's really uncomfortable. I started this process of unpacking all of this crap four years ago. I think I talked about it in the episode 38 to 42. So if you haven't listened to that episode, go back and listen to it. But in that episode, I was talking about the fact that I started on this journey of unpacking all of this stuff. And now I've started frequency medicine. Oh, it does. I really thought I had like unpacked a lot of the disaster in the box and pulled out and looked at, well, where is this voice come from that tells me that I'm not enough? I identified that. Why do I get triggered when I'm spoken to this way? I unpacked that one, right? So, like, I really thought I had kind of gotten down to the core of the problem. And I can tell you that the way that I filter and the way that I react and the way that I process the world has fundamentally changed because I've unpacked that box. So now we're working at this at a cellular level, and my whole fucking world is falling apart. Like my and I thought I had really organized my shit, but like holy crap, the last two weeks have been utter chaos, and then Aries decided on fire right now. It's on fire, you know. Aries, man, because like all of a sudden it's like, do this. So it's turned into that with my housing situation. It started that with my business, it started that with like my relationships, like literally every aspect of my life. And I feel like the tower, yeah, it's all falling down and burning. Collectively, everybody's in a tower moment, right? We're all just it's true.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

So it's just amplifying fair, you know. But I think there's different ways to experience a tower moment. Tower moments, regardless of how they come into your life. If you're not familiar with tarot, okay, let me just put this out there too. Every system that you study, human design, gene keys, tarot, they all come from astrology. Every single one of them is a delineation of astrology, right? For all of my astrology isn't real, folks. Okay, but like every card you pull out of tarot from the major arcana is associated with the zodiac, right? Human design came from the zodiac. Jinkies came from understanding the zodiac. It's just different lenses, right? But when you look at tower moments, they can have a different texture to them. Most people collapse in their tower moments. And I've done this historically, so I can see it. You know what I mean? Like more so recently, I had to learn what my collapse looked like. And then I had to build, I had to co-create with my tools, including frequency medicine. I had to co-create a reality where I didn't collapse. I sat there with the discomfort. Right? 90 seconds is all the emotion needs. 90 seconds, and sometimes it's not even that long. And anything after that, 90 seconds is a narrative that you've attached to the somatic sensation that you're experiencing, right? But different people experience tower moments differently. And then tower moments, depending on where you are in your own process of looking at your patterns, can be really beneficial at actually executing the integration of that pattern because seeing the pattern, understanding the pattern intellectually is very different than integrating the pattern, right? Or the tower moment can be I see the pattern, I intellectually understand the pattern, and then I collapse in the pattern. And that's where most people operate, which means the pattern's still there.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

You just collapsed in it, babe. I want to speak to that as somebody who's been living through this shit mess disaster for the last couple of weeks. I felt the collapse at first. Of course. No, that's where you started the retreat. The fact that I literally could feel my energy collapsing in on itself. I could feel my whole energetic body just got really small and like retreated inside of my body. And I was kind of a shell. It was like shit was going on around me, and like I couldn't get myself out of it, no matter what I did. I just couldn't get out of the fact that I'm not. And I'm surprised at how fast that is shifting. Okay. So, which is why I wanted to start there. I very much could feel, and my daughter could feel the collapse, actually. My daughter is very energetically in tune. And she just like, I know my face didn't change, but I could feel the inside of my body change. And all of a sudden, I saw my daughter's head like turn towards me and just look at me. Like she was with me when I labored with my son, and she couldn't touch me when I was in a contraction because we both felt the pain. That's how in tune she is. I hope she never loses it. So anyway, she just her head like snapped and looked at me, and she was like, Are you okay? And I just looked at her and I said, I will be. But like I couldn't even get any more than that out. It was just like, I need to literally retreat from all of what is happening right now. And like I said, there's been a lot going on in my household. So it's been hitting like multiple levels of my lived experience. So there was a very visceral, it felt like an implosion. Right. That's a good word. It was like an implosion. And then once I sat with it, I was able to see why I responded that way and why I didn't engage. I think my family thinks I am turning into a bitch. So we're going back to how we frame bitchiness, right? Right. It's really just a matter of speaking your truth. Like, even if I'm not using a tone or an edge to my voice, but I'm literally just speaking what is true for me. I've literally had teenagers say to me, Mom, why are you snapping at me or why are you in such a bad mood? And I'm like, I'm not snapping at you. I'm just speaking the truth. It just is, right? And I think that some of that truth telling has also my husband is learning that I am not being a bitch. I am just being truthful. And I think it's an adjustment for him, also, because here it is, it's coming roaring out of the closet. So all of these things are happening kind of all at the same time. And there's been a lot of tears and a massive anger explosion in the middle of all of this.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

But how often do you actually go there? Because the diplomat Adrian that I know doesn't actually express the anger. No, the anger retreats and it lives inside of her body until it curates some form of symptoms. Symptoms, right? So people oftentimes look at this process of your family is witnessing now, like my family has witnessed multiple times, like I'm witnessing in my partner right now. This transition from non-expression to expression, from you know, like non-embodiment to embodiment. How often do people look at that and go, oh, you've changed? I mean, that's the reality of it. People's inability to keep up with the only constant that we can rely on, which is change. Of course, we change as people. And this change for you is actually better because in the long run, some of the things that you've dealt with personally, and that's your story to tell, right? Are going to retreat completely. They're going to resolve completely because instead of having to find a safe space to, you know, stow themselves away, they're going to be metabolized in the way that they're supposed to be metabolized.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Oh my gosh. I metabolized it all right. I thought the top of my head was gonna blow off and I had a headache for two days because there was so much anger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

But how many women listening, how many women listening have this kind of stowed anger, and then they're showing up in your office or my office or someone else's office, and they're like, I can't get rid of these last five pounds.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Well, it's not even just the pounds, like or the acid reflux, or the headaches, or the loose bowel movements, or the hot flashes.

SPEAKER_02 16:32

Yeah, no kidding, bitch, because you're fucking angry and I don't have a supplement for that. You need to go smash shit.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Well, that's my lived experience too. So for as many tools as I have, okay, and this is why I feel like it's really important to share this, because I really have prided myself for so much of my life looking like I have my shit together. And don't we all? And like so many women, I've done it as a protective mechanism. Of course, and I can identify the triggers and the whys and the all the things as to why this has all come to pass. So when it came raging out of the box, all the kids came out of the basement. It was yes, I have never been in a situation where I've been so angry I got done all this shit. My head, I literally thought it was gonna explode, and I'm laughing about it now because I have never allowed myself, and I've been in some situations in my life where I've been really angry. Like I can count on one hand, because I'm generally a pretty even-tempered cat. I can count on one hand to the number of times I have gone off and felt like I was gonna explode, and it was nowhere's close to the rage that roared out of my system. My abdomen was tired, my head hurt, I thought my eyes are gonna pop out.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

But this is all a it's like this physical reflection of like how exhausted your internal system actually is when you have that many parts that are like, I hurt, I burn, I'm tight, I'm tired. Your internal system has been carrying that for how long?

SPEAKER_01 18:16

Yeah, well, and I'm 42. I am definitely in perimenopause. There's no fucking doubt. And women, when they get to this phase of their life, they're like, my body is betraying me. I need hormones. And it's like, no, you don't just truth tell a little bit and it will solve a lot of things. And I thought I had reached that place, right? Where I was being authentic and truthful and all of that, but I still was being measured about how I worded things and how I presented things, and like I said, that Libra rising, she likes to be a diplomatic person, you know, and I've always operated that way.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

And okay, but pause anatomy lesson here, at least on an energetic lens. Adrian, what organ system right now is tanking for you?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

It's a long list. I'm laughing because like I have to move the energy, right? Of course. What is tanking for me right now? Is it your kidneys? My kidneys, my stomach, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Well, you know. Yep. So like your kidneys associated with your Libra rising, when we chronically show up in life out of alignment with other parts of our chart, okay, our body is gonna express through that rising sign. So for you, when your kidneys go down, like man down, you know, that is your tip. And this is for anybody listening, like your rising sign, when you express chronic stress, it's gonna be predominantly through what rules your first house. That's your chronic stress condition. Okay. But with your rising sign being Libra and your kidneys man down, that is your tip, your sign, your intuitive tool to go. I need to shift something in my chart. Where do I need to go in my chart? Like what actually needs to be honored in my chart? You know, I am a Leo rising. So for me, it's cardiovascular, it's adrenal, right? Those are the two primaries when it comes to Leo rising that I tend to have issues with. So when I'm adrenally burnt out due to overture of the nervous system, I have to go find what I need to use in my chart. My Pluto is in Scorpio in the fourth house. So that usually needs to be leaned into a little bit more. Same thing with my Aries in the ninth. That usually needs to be leaned into a little bit more. Oh, and it needs to play out in my 11th house. So for you, right, that Libra rising and for anybody listening who understands astrology, if you don't, I would love to teach you how to utilize your natal chart in order to best understand your body and its needs, right? But you can utilize that first sign to go, am I displaying chronic stress symptoms? And if so, where in my chart do I need to go honor? Yep. So I would pose that question to you here in the podcast. What part of your chart needs to be honored? How my nervous system processes the world. Right. Which house, which sign? This is what my eighth house in Virgo? It can be. So eighth house is part of how we, you know, there's the third house of communication, how you like to be communicated with, how you really need to communicate with others, right? I would say that is a hot button for me. Great, awesome. That's probably the place that you need to go to right now.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

That is a hot button for me.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Yeah. So, like whatever that third house sign is in terms of the way that you communicate. Sorry, I'm having a senior moment. If you could pull it up, that would be great because I could give some texture to it. You know, I like have five million charts in my head swimming together. But when we look at the third house, that's the house of communication. How we need to communicate with the exterior world and how we desire to be communicated. With. So my third house is in Sagittarius. Oh, okay. So you need freedom with the way that you communicate. You need open fields of adventure when it comes to your communication. And any restriction in the way that you communicate is going to feel like a cage in a prison.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

Yes, 100%. Oh, what are we doing right now, Adrian? What are we coming to do with freedom of speech?

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Right? And how you express yourself and what that authentically looks like. Because I think for you, it's a lot only knowing you as a friend off screen and off mic, like, I think there's a lot more underneath there that a lot more people would really enjoy bearing witness to. I mean, guys, if you're listening and you could give some feedback to the both of us, like, do you find politically correct content regarding all because I've done this too, right? God forbid we get rejected by strangers on the internet. Like that made me want to die for a long time. But I actually think that's where my freedom lives. You all are not gonna like me. That's okay. Thanks, Michael.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

But I was gonna name drop, but you did it before me.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Thanks, Michael. You know, but like I would love to know do you enjoy the expression of somebody in their true self, and I think people can tell energetically their true self, or do you prefer things like all the fucking disclaimers? Like, well, as a disclaimer, we know that emergency medicine is great. You all fucking know that. You're not stupid. You don't need me to say it every time I make a post that's criticizing the medical paradigm that we all operate in that completely perpetuates chronic disease, right? That's not normal. We've just normalized it. And there are countless other examples of the one that I just gave. So, like, would you all prefer to hear somebody give their unadultered, unedited perspective on something? Or do you prefer the diplomatic way? Yeah. I mean, I don't know about you, but I prefer the unadultered, unedited way. That shit has me rolling on my ass. Like, I want to go be friends with that person. And it also lets me go like, I appreciate you showing up authentically, and your perspective doesn't land with me. And that's okay. That doesn't make you wrong and me right or me wrong and you right. And I still clap for you for that authentic expression because most people aren't doing it.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

It's true. And even in the in my most authentic expressions, I've always had this voice in the back of my head. And we all have this fucking voice, right? So we're gonna have to tell the bitch to sit down and shut up because I've always had this voice be like, if I look too unhinged, they won't trust me.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

I don't know. If you trust yourself to be unhinged on the internet, people might be like, damn, she's got a lot of confidence.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

But it's been like in client interactions. Like I recently got feedback that some of my anecdotal sharing was perceived as medical advice. And it's like, but no, like I'm trying to connect with you as a person, and I'm sharing my experience, anecdotal experience from other clients, this type of thing, to explain to you why it is that I am making this recommendation or suggestion.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

But oftentimes these interactions, and trust me, Adrian's been on the receiving end of voice memos where I'm spiraling out because I've had a similar interaction and I'm like, what the fuck? How did I get fucking back here again? You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to keep doing this with people. You know, I have don't have the energy or the capacity or the desire to do this with you. Like be an adult, take responsibility for your side of the street, clean it up, I'll do it for me, and we can both move on our merry way. Just like pointing fingers and blaming shit.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

No, I can't do it. It's such a cultural thing right now, too, and it irritates the hell out of it.

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Don't invest in anything. If you're gonna set expectations that you don't speak aloud, like if you're gonna sit with somebody and you're gonna expect things out of them, but you're not gonna vocalize what you expect out of them, just put your fucking money back in your pocket. Right? Like until you can be somebody who's like, this is an integrity thing for me. It's such an integrity thing for me. Because I have invested in services with people where I thought we were a good fit. And two months in, I'm like, yo, dog, this ain't it for me, right? But I still invested in somebody's business. I invested in their container. I made a commitment to this work. You know, like it's not them not showing up, it's not them not providing support, it's not them not doing their job, right? Like they are upholding their end of the bargain. So why in the world would I demand a refund when I just was like, hey, it's not a good fit. And I appreciate everything that you've given me up to this point, and I'm sure you've made immense impact with other people, and like there's just we're speaking two different languages. That's on me. That's my responsibility.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

And culturally, we don't take responsibility, it's disgusting. Like we push everything off onto and we have the audacity to call each other adults.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

No, sorry, I feel very deeply about this. Where I'm just like, put your big girl panties on. Or like the I want to have a conversation and then it's one-sided, or I don't want to have a conversation at all. What the fuck do you mean? Yeah, we can't be adults here.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Please don't gaslight me. Have a conversation with me.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Yeah, so to your point, yes, you have this. Sorry, I interrupted and took a soapbox out. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

No, it was a beautiful soapbox, and it goes, I have really struggled with feeling invisible when I speak my truth. And it's just like the internet right now. If you're not fucking yelling and rage baiting, nobody's pushing that. Yes, and it's so irritating. So that social media culture, I'm seeing it translate into my own home. It's like if it is not fucking clickbait information, meaning mom is unhinged and losing her shit, nobody listens. We do this with symptoms in our body too. If your body is whispering, we push it under the rug. It is not convenient to deal with it right now. We're not dealing with it. Right. And it isn't until mom starts to scream that people go, Well, why are you yelling? We do this to our bodies. All of a sudden the symptoms get out of control, and we're like, Why are you yelling?

SPEAKER_02 28:20

Or we pay for a program. We literally invest in someone, like whether it be an exercise program, an education program, like every investment that you make is an opportunity to go back to school on yourself. Like that's really how you are the student and you have teachers. In school, did you just fucking float by? You didn't have to take any of the tests, you didn't have to do any of the quizzes, projects weren't yours either. I would like to know which school you went to, please.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

If the person that ended up having to do the group project for fear of the group grade because nobody else did anything, right? I am tired of being that person. I'm fucking tired. I mean, that's fair, you know, but like and women hold that role in households though, too. Where like if she doesn't remember it, if she doesn't do it, if she doesn't say it, it didn't exist.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

And then my head spins when I'm losing my yes, I feel like the exorcist.

SPEAKER_01 29:18

Does anybody else resonate with this? Please like, share, make a comment, yeah, shut up, Michael. So how many of you resonate with that though? Like we are exhausted at the end of the day, and it isn't because our physical body did a whole lot, it's because our brains are non-stop. And you remind and you send the text and you set the reminder and you put it on the fucking calendar in the kitchen and all of that damn stuff, and nobody does anything with it. They will walk by the same piece of toilet paper on the bathroom floor six times. You ask somebody to pick it up, mom's voice doesn't exist. Okay. So, like so many of us feel invisible in the parameters that we live in. And what does our body do when we feel invisible, Adrian? It gets really fucking mad.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

And it also makes sure that it's visible. Yeah. Oh, you're still feeling the effects of that headache, by the way. It's gonna make sure that it's visible. And that could be through a headache, that could be through a heart attack, that could be through cancer, that could be through an extra 25 pounds. Your body is not going to take the option of not being heard. She'll just change her approach in ensuring that you hear her and that everybody that you don't want to see her sees her. So it's just a million times easier to rework that relationship in a way that works for both of you.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

I was actually wondering if I was going to have a heart attack. I was so angry this weekend.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

And it should never get to the point where your sweet little system has so much pent-up anger. And I imagine underneath the anger, it's immense sadness. At least that's my experience, right? Like the anger is the cover emotion, if you will, because it's the safer emotion, right? There's less vulnerability in the anger, at least when it's externally expressed. And anger repels, which is so fascinating to me. And I think that's because when it comes to societal implications, we no longer take confrontation and dissociate it with conflict.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

I think some of it is how we're raised and socialized too. Because you are better seen, not heard. Yes, you are better seen, not heard. Crying is a more socially accepted emotion for women. Anger is a more socially accepted, and I use that in air quotes for those of you not watching the video, emotion for men. However, we are human, having a human experience, which means we have the full spectrum and cascade of emotions. And anger is generally regardless of what sits between your legs. Correct. And generally, women do not express their anger because they take up too much space, because it is never received well. I had a boss tell me once that I was brash. And I looked at him and I pointed to my male coworker and I said, So if he said the same thing, you'd tell him that. And he just stared at me. And I'm like, I'm confident. I wasn't rude, I wasn't inappropriate, I didn't have a tone to my voice. So if he said the same thing that I just said to you, you would tell him he was confident, but you're telling me I'm brash. That's inappropriate and that is sexist. And he backed off. But shit like that drives me nuts because women should be able to take up space and be confident and be heard and not have to fucking scream or lose their shit in order for somebody to actually stop long enough to listen. It's insanity to me. I have felt so invisible in my family in recent time. I am merely the logician. I have to remember all the appointments, I have to remember all of the bills, I have to remember where people are going. I have to remember that we're having house showings, I have to remember all of that, in addition to all my work stuff. And if I don't remember, I get blamed for the fact that how many of you resonate with that? You end up bearing the brunt of the blame when shit falls apart, but nobody accepts responsibility for sharing the invisible mental load that drives you to the point where you lose your shit. That's the part that I think is bothering me the most and is driving this bus the most is nobody listens when I talk. When I do talk, I don't get people's full attention. So it doesn't land and it doesn't stay. And then I get blamed when things don't go right. And it's like, no, my body is saying, go fuck yourself. I am totally done with this shit. And how many of us are there though? It shows up as IBS, it shows up as digestive issues, it shows up at constipation.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

And then you walk into my office, and when I bring it up to you, you argue with me and you tell me that's far too simple for it to be the case. And that you don't have time to implement X, Y, and Z, right? Your life is too busy. Okay, then go pay somebody that's gonna shove shit down your throat and have a body that is not in a place to accept every input that you're offering it, you know, feel drowned by what is being shoved down your throat and allow those things to eventually land you in a place where your body is in a worse off position than when you ended up in my office, and then come back and find me, right? Like, and then we can really talk about the patterns, but it is gonna be 10 times harder and 10 times more painful if you wait to start looking at these things and making changes in your life that actually don't cost you a thing. They're fucking free.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

That's the thing, is so much of this is you just need somebody to like mirror up for you. Hold a mirror, but also I find a lot of women just feel like they need a permission slip to actually prioritize themselves.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

Oh, and when you're having a spiral moment, babe, send me a message. That's what I'm here for, right? Oh, and you're feeling energetically off. Okay, let's address that too. And oh, you don't feel protected and safe in the world around you. Okay, let's address that too, because all of the supplements and protocols and tests in the world are never going to address those things. And guess what? You're not gonna live your biggest, best, most beautiful life without addressing them.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

It's so true. And I think the biggest thing that has like I've been contemplating direction for where my work is going for quite a while now. I had this huge breaking open. I think I've mentioned this on this show, but when I had my son, I'm pretty sure energetically I was thrown out of my body for a little bit. Yeah. And there was a reintegration process that happened afterwards. And ever since then, I've been trying to find, I'm gonna use Taylor's word, center. I've been trying to find my center because I really have felt very displaced from that center since then. I have had an evolution in some of the things that I've offered in my business. And it's been a reflection of like how I've evolved also. And the more I go in this field of exploration, the more I realize that this really is where we all need to go. I identified years ago that as a TCM practitioner, that man, doesn't the emotional body drive the damn bus when it comes to symptoms and things like that. And this was an angle that I was working through even five, six years ago, because it became so apparent to me that working with women's bodies, this is where I needed to go. And where I'm at now, like I really feel like I need to make a switch to being a lot more energetically focused in general, instead of it being symptoms with energetics, being energetics in order to unravel symptoms. For most people, that's how it goes.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

It has to be your physical body is stage four in the disease process. It is where everything that exists prior to the physical body goes, right? Like energetics that aren't properly aligned, decoherence that exists in the body, right? Misalignments in your environment, emotional collapses, right, mental scattering. If you don't have the appropriate tools, guess where they're gonna land? Here. And then you're gonna go to a doctor who doesn't know how to explain the four things that I just mentioned, and they have the audacity, because of the world that we live in, to tell you you have IBS. Guys, diagnoses are man-made for billing purposes, so it just gives you something to place in that cerebral portion of your brain to scratch the itch. What is it? What is it? What is it? Well, it's multifaceted, but if we claim it to be IBS or endo or insert any other disease state here, then we can quote unquote treat. What the fuck are you treating? The physical body only.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

And not how it got there in the first place.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

So if the physical body is a mirror representation of the lack of alignment or the decoherence that exists in your mental body, your emotional body, your super mental body. Oh, and then how attached are you to your soul? Is it even are the lights on, but nobody's home? Yep. Okay, like you can call me whatever you want at this point, right? Like those are all my mic knocking it off my head, right? Those are all things that result in physical symptoms. Oh, and some of it could be ancestral and DNA activations as well. Like you're carrying things that were passed on from your grandmother. How the fuck is the pill that the doctor gives you gonna address that? Please enlighten me.

SPEAKER_01 39:33

Go back and listen to our episode about how medical schools were formed. If you're just coming in for this episode, go back and listen to that one. It will give you some foundation for where we are right now.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Oh my, where medicine is going, the current paradigm is not gonna fit. We will always, I think emergency medicine is great. And then I have this whole piece side of me that's like that's playing God, ethically conflicted. I dealt with this a lot in the hospital where I'm like, it is our Hippocratic oath to do no harm, right? And what are we interfering with? And once, like I said at the beginning, I'm you know that meme where the guy is like, he's got his pen to the board and it's like all conspiracy theorists, and like it's got like multiple. Okay, now I see the world that way, right? Where like there are multiple realities available to all of us at all times. Okay. What are we interfering with when we implement these interventions?

SPEAKER_00 40:31

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

What was contractually agreed to by the soul? Oh, I think about this all the time with IVF. Why I couldn't bring myself to do it is for this reason.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Yes, because a lot of the times, and this is clinically proven. I love when people are like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, a lot of the things that we talk about in the quantum realm can actually be clinically proven. You know, a lot of kids born to parents who utilize IVF to no fault of the parent, because we are not having these conversations at scale and at large. But a lot of the times those children are born into bodies that can't fit the soul. There's deformities, there's congenital heart issues, there's, you know, a multitude of physical ailments that go along with because the agreement is forced.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Yeah. And as a TCM practitioner, I had a hard time wrapping my brain when I have shared on and off that I had a struggle with my fertility journey to get my son into our experience. And I have lots of thoughts about it now on the other side. But along that journey, IVF came up several times, both because of the doctor, but then also my husband had raised doing it. And as a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner, I had this like heaven and earth come together to create humanity. And I just could not shake that energetically, if it was meant to happen, it will happen. And if it isn't, there's a reason, and I have to honor that. But when we go towards IVF, I saw this video very recently this morning around taking birth control. And then the person it starts having problems with endo, and then the person starts having problems with another autoimmune condition, and then by 26 years old, they're telling them they should freeze their eggs, and by 30, they're talking about IVF, right? We've created this monster, and really what it is, not allowing the space. So this is why I feel like this is where my work is going.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

But you participation, you general you, and this is not me gaslighting you. This is me loving you enough to tell you the hard truth because the only way that I've gotten to where I am today and where I am continuing to go is by people telling me hard truths, right? You listening, you co-created because you participated. Nobody wants to hear that. A lot of people don't want to say it because we live in a world where it's like, oh, you're a gaslighting. No, you have to be called forward in your personal path. People coddling you in your process are not calling you forward. And coddling is not kind. It's the nice thing to do, but it's not the kind thing to do. Right? Me, you Adrian, I have also co-created because I co-collaborated on that process. And some of the situations fucking sucked, frankly, but we are not victim to. And that also doesn't override that we have a human experience and there are emotions that go along with it. Both can exist.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

This is like dialectic therapy. You can not have a good thing happening and be a good person all at the same time. Like these things can coexist 100%, right?

SPEAKER_02 43:56

Like, we have to understand that we come here to learn something. Things to evolve on a level that most of us don't understand. And most of the learning happens in discomfort. I am not going to become a better person, poolside in a biza, sipping on a drink if my sunglasses on. I'm sorry. That is going to be a beautiful experience. And I am totally 100% worthy of choosing that experience as part of my life, right? But I have become a better person by the hardship that I've experienced through the hardship that I've experienced. And some of it, it's dark, guys. It's sexual assault. It's domestic violence. It's single motherhood. It's being poor. It's family dynamics that would wrap your head around a fucking pole. It's navigating hate with love. I have lived a lifetime movie.

SPEAKER_01 44:49

I was just saying sister speaks for me. I have checked all of those exact same boxes.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

And like, would I be a better person today if I just continued to drag behind me the victim label? Oh, it all happened to me. Bitch, no, I am who I am today because of all of it. Yes. And it sucked.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

Oh my god, it sucked. It did. I mean, it sucked and like I look back at all of that shit and I see how it changed me, my trajectory, my path, you know, all the miscarriages that I had, how it changed me, my trajectory, my path, my practice, all of that kind of stuff. So the suck, I'm in the middle of a suck right now, guys. And I can still somehow see that even though this sucks and this feels horrible and I'm ready for it to be over at the same time, because I am not fighting it, I am really am actively trying to surrender to it and allow. Because that's the other part. When we think we can control shit, it makes it worse. It prolongs the agony. And oftentimes it brings the same shit back over and over again until you actually surrender to it.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

So it's why most people's butthole is tight, literally in their bowel art movie, because they are literally trying to white knuckle their way through life and control their way through. It's like business right now, right? I closed a business in February of 2025. I naively thought that by 2026 I would be off to the races. Okay. I did that with my first baby, you know, I did that with tailored well-being. It was a grind. I worked countless hours, you know, like every space in my day was filled with building a practice and learning things and continuing education. Like it worked until it didn't work. Right. And then in 2025, I was like, I can't do this anymore. I can't sit across from another person who I didn't realize this at the time. I have words for it now, who literally wants to play victim to the co-creation of their life. I can't do it. It's draining me. I don't want to be accessible to you all the time. I don't want to be the person that pulls you out of a hole every time you're in it. You have to learn how to do that. I can show you, I can give you tools, but I couldn't do it anymore because so many people just want to be pulled out and keep going. That's not how this works. You know, 2026 rolls around and I'm like, well, this feels different than I thought it was gonna feel. You know, where like I thought I was gonna have it all figured out. I just made mention to my mentor yesterday. I'm like, I don't actually want to be known as an astrologer. I know my shit. I am so good in a birth chart. Okay, like it's a tool that I use. It's one of the aces up my sleeve at this point. It's how I pull your entire picture together, seen and unseen, but it's not the only thing that I do. And it's probably not the thing that I'm best at. Curve fucking ball. And I'm coming to learn that I call it school sessions with my soul. I was told I need to spend more time with her. She's very upset that I'm not making daily communication with her. And like, it's true. I avoid her at all costs because relationships up to this point in my life, I'm like, relationships are so laborious. You know, like that's something that I'm reorienting because relationships as a very codependent person have always been like, how do I help you? How do I bend over backwards for you? How do I accommodate you? Right. And I'm in this chapter of life where it's like, maybe for you, but that's gonna benefit you. You know, but I'm like, oh God, what am I doing? And like I just keep being told every time I sit in meditation, I need you to be here now. The path will come. Right? Like, I need you. It doesn't sound profound and significant, but when you're literally getting the same thing every time you sit, yeah, I'm redirecting you back to the moment. I need you to be present, I need you to be here now. You're only uncomfortable because you can't control the next steps and you think control is gonna get you to where you need to go. I know better than you. You're like, I just gotta relinquish the shit. It's no different for any one of you listening. Your life doesn't look the way that you want it to look or feel the way that you want it to feel because you're trying to white knuckle and control every step of the way. Yes. Your biggest, greatest vision cannot even compare to probably your soul's vision in this life.

SPEAKER_01 49:12

And so many of us want a roadmap. So go to Taylor for your natal chart.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

It will tell you unless you're actually gonna use what I have to tell you. Like, don't come to me, sit in my office, waste your money and my time if you're not gonna take what I have to offer you and literally devote yourself to yourself and your design for the coming six to 12 months, if not longer. I cannot. Like, you have to be willing to do that. I don't want to hear in an email. I'm happy to walk you through a tough moment, but I don't want to hear in an email or from someone we're mutually working with. Well, she's spiraling again. She knows why she spirals, tell her to go back to it. She knows why she can't communicate eloquently, tell her to go back and read her chart. Tell her to go back and tell him, you know, like you gotta use what's being offered to you.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

I cannot tell you the amount of mileage my solar return for this year has gotten since my shit has started to fall apart. I think I read it cover to cover on almost a daily basis. I'm like, oh, this doesn't read nearly as rudely as I am feeling and experiencing this. What am I missing? Right.

SPEAKER_02 50:27

And you know, I think that's also applied meaning. I just did my lunar return. My next month starts tomorrow. I want to jump off my roof with no wings, guys. There's no parachute in that, you know. Like, I am going through another eighth, ninth house split month. Oh my god, the eighth house this year has just kicked my ass. And I'm going back to it, and I'm like, okay, well, we know what this feels like. It's very, and then Neptune is in Aries. I have an Aries moon. Aries season is usually very good to me, right? Like it's a comfy place for me to be. I have Mars and Capricorn, it's exalted there. This is a great time of the year for me. And because we have this Neptune-Saturn restriction illusion conjunction going on, I am dying because nothing's clear. I'm like, I want to take action, I want to take action on what? I want to take action, I want to take action on what? And then I sit in my soul school every morning, and my soul is like, be here now. And I'm like, bitch, you all are saying the same thing. So now what? Be here now, you know. Yeah. And money. Everybody has this thing about money. And I have my own things with money that I think I'm still working through, right? Cognitive dissonance is a real thing. But money is like water, it must move. It must move. Holding on to it doesn't mean you're getting more of it. Investing in a way where you in your mind know, even if it's subconsciously, this is coming back to me. Twofold, fivefold, tenfold, whatever. Like money must move, and money's gonna change. We're used to one way of money right now. It's gonna change. So your attachment to it is not going to help. You don't think it's on purpose that they're bringing the majority of the United States to a breaking point financially? You don't think it's on purpose that, you know, most people in America are questioning their taxes at this point? You don't think there's a plan or a design behind that? I mean, I'm all for a taxation without representation. You hold on to that money. You extend, extend, extend. Like I'm a big fan of that, right? But you don't think the government's going, oh, we might have a shitstorm on our hands, we're gonna freeze banks, we're gonna lock accounts, we're gonna garnish wages, right? We just get to be smart with all of this and detach ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

I was gonna say, I saw a post this morning about this woman said that she paid more in federal taxes than Tesla did, and was really ripped about it and like justification links to prove what it is that she said and everything. And underneath it, people were chiming in with, yeah, like I didn't even get a tax return this year, and I always do, or our tax return was half of what it normally is.

SPEAKER_02 53:11

So I mean, ours was like, you know, when you go to the bathroom and you're like, I gotta take a poop, and then you get up and you're like, that was so unsatisfying. Yeah, and you leave and you're like, all of that for that, uh how disappointing.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

Yeah, that was us too. Fuck, like it really makes you question, man, where's it all going? Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 53:42

But I don't think it does. Guys, I just want to make this really clear too. Like, as a business owner, I know it's easy to see someone's pricing and be like, ah, the five grand that I'm just using this, you know, as like a random number. The five grand that I am getting ready to invest in these services, that's all gonna go in her pocket. Okay, hold please. I'm gonna tell you how much actually goes in my pocket. Okay, ready? If you are doing this the way that you want to make sure your business is healthy and remains healthy, 750 of that five grand goes in my pocket for all of the support that I'm giving. 750 dollars. Okay. The remaining portion of that is gonna go to taxes. It's gonna go to product that I'm likely providing to you. I make medicine. So that's gonna go to you. I have to account for what that looks like. It's gonna go to the platform we're using to communicate on, if not multiple. It's gonna go to paying my assistant who helps me keep things running smoothly, right? It's gonna go to a myriad of other things. So, like, I don't know, every time I work with somebody, I'm like, yeah, they're probably only getting like this much of it, you know? Like it's maybe that you have to run a business to fully understand it, but like that five grand that you're paying me to provide you with six months of support, right? And weekly calls, I'm taking$750 of that home. I deserve every penny that I get paid.

SPEAKER_01 55:07

Yep. Not$750 feeds my family and keeps the lights on and pay water. Oh, yeah. And the insurance that I need in order to have the space to work in. You know what I mean? Like that five grand goes to internet, it goes to professional insurance, it goes to general liability insurance, it goes to software. Oh, do you see how I'm rattling all that stuff off?

SPEAKER_02 55:35

Like it's fucking expensive to own a business, yes, especially a small business. You know, there are far less, and I only know this because tailored well-being was a seven-figure business. Seven figures, guys, right? One woman show with two, like I had work wives, I don't know how else to put it, and they made sure shit ran. Like, thank God for them. Okay, but like as a larger income business, there are more tax benefits.

SPEAKER_01 56:06

Yeah. Oh, yeah. When you're a small guy like me, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 56:10

Yeah, this has been a very humbling process. And I also like I think it's important that I talk about money and you talk about money to normalize it. Like, money isn't dirty. I deserve every single penny that I ask for. You're gonna get every single penny that you invest. What you choose to do with the support services that I provide to you, the medicine I provide to you. Well, babe, that's on you. And we will have very lengthy conversations before you sign a thing. Because this is a relationship and we're co-creating and we're co-collaborating. I cannot drag you to a finish line. I've dragged myself over finish lines many times before, which is why I'm able to provide to you what I am able to provide to you. But just to put it into perspective, you know, like I do everything I can to make sure things are accessible and my time is valuable, as is the decades of life experience that have gotten me to this point, as our proper English tailor.

SPEAKER_01 57:07

Just editing myself right there. I'm there. Well, I mean, I feel the same way. Like at the beginning, I went into all of this work because I wanted to save the world. And I still want to save the world, but I recognize that I can. Well, I have my Wonder Woman mug over here, but I recognize at this stage of my practice, my life, the way that I work, all of that is that this work only works if you're ready to do the work. I can't drag you across the finish line as much as I cheer for you, and I want you desperately to succeed. And I want to be part of that journey with you because I develop a relationship with you. I'm invested in you as a person, seeing you realize your goals, right? Like my heart is in it, but I cannot force the water down your throat. I can't. And I used to try, and I realized that all I was doing is burning myself out, and that sometimes people identify so hard with their disharmony that it's so destabilizing when they start shifting that they don't know who they are anymore. And so they quit and they say and tell you, I'll never forget the first person that told me this work doesn't work. And I was so upset. I was like, oh no, like, but it is. And I was like trying to like rattle off the reasons of like, this is shifting and this is shifting. And yes, it's not 100% yet, but we're almost there. And she was like, Nope, this doesn't work. Take this pelvic steaming stool back. I want nothing to do with this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what? Like, I couldn't figure out how we got there. I'm like, but it's shifting. And one of the wisest pieces of information that a colleague shared with me at the time is sometimes this happens. They start to heal, and that is scary, whether they realize that consciously or subconsciously, right? And it goes back to what we were saying earlier is that things have to fall apart to come together in a new configuration.

SPEAKER_02 59:10

And a relationship had to fall apart for you to find the partner that you're with now, right? A job had to fall apart in order for you to step into the job you're in now, which is probably an upgrade from where you were, you know, like the fitness routine that you're in now, like something had to fall apart before in order for you to find it, you know, the way that you are with your eating. If you've done an overhaul with that and there's more nourishment in it, something had to fall apart in order for you to get there. Your body had to break down in some capacity in order for you to make the changes that you needed to make. And that's the whole point that I think we're trying to make. Most of you are gonna wait until the wheels fall off the bus, but it doesn't have to be like that. It totally doesn't. It's and then you're gonna chase the fucking deflated tire.

SPEAKER_01 59:51

You're gonna be like, Oh, I can fix it. No, you cannot. Just go get a new tire. This is like the relationship with the guy that you think that, oh, well, I can see his potential. Stop dating potential.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

No, don't date potential, don't date potential, don't marry potential, don't eat potential, don't work out potential, like yes, you know, like you gotta meet things where they are in the reality of the moment, and that includes you, and that requires you to take a really honest inventory of your life. And most people are unwilling to do that because they don't want to hurt their own feelings.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

Well, it's just like that whole concept of put your own oxygen mask on before you put somebody else's on or your child's on, right? Like people are horrified. Women are horrified by the idea that they would put their own mask on before they put their child's on. And it's like, but hold on, think about that statement. Yeah. Because how can you help the child if you are losing oxygen? This is the lived experience that you're in. Yep. Is that you're giving your power away, you're giving your voice away, you're giving your energy away, you're spending and spending and spending out of this account and not pouring anything back into it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

And then when you finally pour back into it, a lot of you look, I have a beautiful community of women, and I'm so fucking thankful for them. I hope you make it to an hour and six minutes for you to hear me say how much I love you. It is like a core group of 15 women, and they have shown up for years. And I'm like, you are the bitches, you are my fine shits. I don't know how else to put it. Like, I love you, and I love the work that every single one of them has done. But the large majority of people, I'm not just gonna say women, right, who move to invest and then quit on themselves. We gotta change that.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:41

Yeah, it breaks my heart every time I have somebody step into the practice and then they go, I don't have time for this right now. And it's like, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

This is time is there. Time is a man-made construct. Maybe we can, you know, riff on that next week. Like we have got to detach ourselves from man-made constructs.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:00

Well, and pouring back into your cup does not have to look like scheduling a spa day. Those are nice, right? I'm not pooping on that. Those are nice, and we do need that every so often. But this could be as simple as sitting on your front steps with a cup of tea and just enjoying listening to the damp birds for 10 minutes. Like it does not have to be complicated. One of the things that fills my cup is I absolutely love laying next to my son, listening to him breathe and snore with his fingers in his mouth. And I'm just present with him. You know, Tik Nok Han talks about mindfulness. Yeah. And that mindfulness can be being truly present when you're washing dishes, feeling the water through your fingers, feeling the plate underneath your hand, feeling the weight of it in your hand. That is being truly present and mindful in the moment that you are living in. That will slow your system down. That will give you reprieve. It doesn't sound like it, but it's so important. Yeah. You know, so when we're talking about pouring back into your cup, it does not have to be expensive. It does not have to take a lot of time. It can be done, and honestly, it should be done in punctuated moments all throughout your day, where you give yourself a few minutes of no stimulation from your phone, no stimulation from your kids, no stimulation from outside of you. Yeah. And just allowing yourself to be present. What is real for me here in this friggin' moment? I actually have to put my hands on my heart to do this. Yeah. Because I live in my head and as an Aerie, all the things, I have to do that to get embodied. This can be done through pelvic steaming. This can be done through journaling. Watering your garden.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

That's when I do all of my soul schools, I'm calling it my series of soul schools. You know, that's where I get schooled. I water my garden. But I can go into a meditative state while I'm watering my garden. It's a very easy place for me to do that, right? Sun, birds, fresh air, and information coming to me in an unadultered way. So it literally could be is standing in the shower. That's another place that I really like to get information for myself, you know, or cooking, like baking in particular.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:24

I was gonna say for me, cooking is a big one, and it's chopping vegetables. Yeah. Weirdly enough, my husband's like, oh God, that's so much effort. And I was just like, you do the cook then. I will do the chop because there's something about the rhythm of it, and maybe it's a musician in me, but there's something about the movement and the rhythm of it that just like I could tune the world out, and it is, it's like a flow state where I get information and can pause all the chatter in my brain long enough to really tap into what is real for me. And as shit has been falling apart in my life, I am starting to see how not fighting that process is actually allowing a new alchemization of things in terms of where I'm going next. And it's messy. Stay tuned, guys, because we'll probably be talking about Adrian's journey with all of this as we go through. But I think it is really important to find those moments where life can become like ritual. I agree. And daily moments don't have to be filled with, you know, like Taylor could be watering her garden and she'd be thinking about, oh, I have to make sure to put dinner in the crock pot, and I have to do this, and I have to do that, and oh, I've got to pick up Sydney at this time and you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. Right. Like that could be, and that is for most of us, right? Instead of just watching the water come out of the hose and allowing yourself to get into an empty state or staring at

SPEAKER_02 1:06:00

My bees, like my bees have been one of the best things I ever invested in. I had to spend money to get bees placed in my backyard. Let me tell you something. That is the best money I've ever spent because I have learned more from flying insects in three months about community and matriarchy and the cycle of life. You know, I still get so sad when there's a dead bee or an undertaker is literally tossing a bee that's dying out of the hive. Like they are, we could learn a lot from them. But you know, like I had to spend money to find that piece. Guess what? It's the best money that I ever spent because it's going to give back to me a million times what I spent on it. And they're there for as long as they want to be there, so long as the hive stays healthy and they've already split. I've got two. I got two queens, I got two hives. I would have had a third. They swarmed but wasn't quick enough to get them in a box. You know, so like they've just taught me. So they're defensive, not aggressive. And I think more women need to be defensive, not aggressive. They will react when necessary. We expect it out of them, but they're not going to act off of no accord. I've learned so much from life or about life from them. So all right, my dog is we are getting the every episode.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:16

So Adrian, any final thoughts? You don't have to be invisible, yeah, and you don't have to feel shame around taking up too much space. Yeah. And it is okay to speak your truth. And if those around you can't accept the authentic and vulnerable and true expression of who you are, then it doesn't mean that never will happen. It just means that you're not surrounded by the right people at that moment.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:46

Visibility is an option and it operates on a scale, and you get to turn that dial. If you spent your entire life in, you know, like the opacity or the ability to see at zero or five, every day turn it up a little bit. I'm gonna go record a video on Fat Camp now. Talk about visibility the wildest stream. You'll have to tune in to see that. But you know, have fun with it too. You're gonna disappoint people. There are gonna be people that don't like you. It's just a part of life. It's okay, you're not supposed to be palatable by everybody. All right, and on that note, till next time, guys, stay well.