Are We There Yet?: The Teen Takeover

If you’ve ever felt like your once-sweet child has suddenly become a strong-willed, independent, opinionated human who’s slowly taking over your house, you’re not wrong.

The teen years can feel like a shift in power, a shift in connection, and honestly, sometimes a shift in sanity. But what if this “takeover” isn’t a problem to solve, but a process to understand?

In this episode, Presley and Val are diving into what’s really happening beneath the surface—physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually—as your teen steps into who God is creating them to be. We’ll talk about why they push away, why they question everything (including you), and how this stage is less about losing influence… and more about learning how to use it differently.

Because the goal isn’t to hold on tighter, but to stay connected while letting them grow.

So if you’re in the thick of eye rolls, big questions, and growing independence… this episode is for you.

CDC Milestone Tracker App: https://www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones-app/index.html

BabySparks - Developmental Tracker & Online Learning for Parents: https://babysparks.com/

Harvard's Center for the Developing Child: Three Core Concepts in Early Development: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/videos/three-core-concepts-in-early-development/

Building Social-Emotional Skills at Home: https://www.naeyc.org/our-work/families/building-social-emotional-skills-at-home

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Welcome to the Whole Person Parenting Podcast. We're here to have honest conversations about how to follow Jesus and parent kids in a whole person way. For more content and encouragement as we support you on your journey, you can find us on Instagram, YouTube, and wherever you get your podcasts. We're so glad you're here. Now let's jump in. Hey everyone, welcome to the Whole Person Parenting Podcast. We're so happy that you guys are here. And we are uh your podcast host. Yep. Here we are again. Here we are again. Another week. Another episode. Another episode. Um so we're in our series uh called Are We There Yet? Um kind of road trip-esque of kind of the the through the developmental stages of life um and and what we think is important of them spiritually as as Christians, um, and then also just kind of looking at how God designed us to be um and and and embracing that rather than rejecting it for sure as something really important to us. And so um today we're we're finally reaching probably the age that everyone dreads. Um yeah, I would think so. Yeah, maybe after the yeah. I think I dreaded it even as someone coming in, like not even as a parent, just as someone growing into it. I was like, that's supposed to be the the years where you figure everything out kind of, and that's not really necessarily true, but we're going into adolescence, which is uh ages roughly like 13 to 19, is that correct?

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Yeah, around there around there, yeah, around like definitely through definitely through 18 through those school age.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Those teenage high school years, high school, teenage, late middle school into high school. Yeah. So we kind of just wanted to um get like a foundation in this episode of for one, like our experience with this age. Um because we probably have vastly different experiences as well, just with time period and things. We'll see, yeah. Yeah. And um also just like looking at what is developmentally happening in the teenage brain, um, and just kind of giving a little intro into the age.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Yeah, this we figured this one's gonna need to be broken up a bit. Because it's so well, it spans a lot of time. Yeah, and it also is it's our largest span of time that we've talked about yet. Yeah, it's also d like just challenging, and I think the one that a lot of parents feel sort of lost about. I remember at a loss almost, yeah. Yeah, right. I remember though feeling like I thought because me, because your dad and I had worked with teenagers so much, like we're getting into it feeling confident, more confident?

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Yes. Oh, that's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Yeah, I was excited about the teenage years because I all and I think dad probably was too, because we both had had like a history of being able to connect well with yeah, yeah, and I've witnessed that. Like and um, and so I've seen you guys connect really well with teenagers. So we thought, yeah, we thought maybe I don't know, I guess we thought like, oh, we're gonna be better at this than others.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

The other two I remember feeling much more like you guys were like my friends during this time. Like I remember feeling like I could relate to you guys a lot more.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Hmm. Yeah, oh, like more than you had before. More than we had before. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Like I could understand your jokes or like we would laugh about the same things because we had the, you know, things like that. Like I felt more connected. Um, like yeah, I think that's why that's true for sure.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Yes, because we we had like common things to talk about and yes, um, yeah, and we did, I mean, I I guess I did enter the teenage years with you guys in like thinking about uh like very aware that this was preparation for your launching and which I think can be helpful and then like problematic at the same time because um it can make the teenage years kind of drag on whenever you start them with that.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

It also comes into an expectation with like I have to make sure they're prepared. Yes. Which is true, it is true. Like you do have to make sure they're prepared. But if you're thinking of every day as like, all right, they gotta learn a lesson today, right? Then it's gonna get really monotonous.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Yeah. And like when I start thinking about that when you're 13, 14, and you still have all these years of development and maturing to do, it can be like you can start to believe, oh no, especially I think with your first teen, you can start thinking like, oh no, like they're never gonna get there. Yeah, like it's or or like you start judging how they are at that age um as like predictive of how they're going to be as an adult. Yeah. And as like an older um teen.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Yeah, and I think I'm like, I feel like my teenage years did feel very long because I think of because you're you're going through different, so many different phases. Like I feel like I was like six different people. Yes. Like I was a different person each year in a way. Yeah. Like I feel like I felt so mature at 13, and then like and then, you know, just like so many different eras of Presley. Like you feel like you go through so many stages where it's like as before you're you're in your kid stage and that stays there for a long time. But then it just like is like whiplash in the teen years. Like I'm going through so many, I went through so many different emotions and phases and just hard things. Like really hard things happen, I feel like in teenage years, or like realizations that you have about um just what where the world is and like what's going on around you, and you're taking that all in. And um just depending on your giftings too, you could be like really empathetic, and you're like taking on all this like realization with like a really heavy heart, and like there's just a there's just a lot of different like things that are going on um in this time frame. So maybe talk about like your experience as a teenager, like what was the two years like for you? I was in the 80s, right? No, 90s in the 80s.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

No, you were born in the 1980s, yeah. Late 90s. Yeah, late 90s was like your teenage.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Yeah, it was a really interesting time. I mean, like for me, I had um I had like a few transitions in terms of like where I lived. Yeah, and so I had the experience of like culture shock in the middle of my teenage years. We moved from Ohio. Yeah, but like in the span of like a year and a half long period, I essentially went from living in rural Oklahoma to metropolitan Atlanta, Georgia. And that was very different. I just can't even, I can't even describe all the differences. I mean, it was just like a completely different world.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

That's you, but you really love Atlanta. And you described that as like your favorite place you've ever lived.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

It was it is my favorite place I ever lived. And it was, I think it wasn't how it began, but it was how it ended. And so when you were talking about like all of the different um seasons and like different versions of yourself, I definitely could see um, like I guess with the transitions, opportunity for, you know, trying on different versions of myself. Yeah. But then at the same time, um I think the biggest impact in my teenage years, I think there were two things uh that were real actually three things, sorry. Okay. I think three things that were really helpful for me. Um one was that I went to counseling. And I think that was it was, you know, not because there was a great thing going on, I was really depressed. And um, but I went to counseling and I felt like that was extremely helpful for me and helpful for my mom. And like she will talk about that as being a a way that she learned how to better communicate with me because we had uh we had a hard time communicating with each other and um and had you know some struggles. Yeah, some in our relationship. Um then I think also being like rooted in my church community. You yeah, you talk about that a lot every time that we talk about your teenagers who just like were so helpful for you. It was so important to me. I had it wasn't just like a huge youth group. I mean, it was like a decent size, like probably a middle, mid-sized, you know, kind of youth group. Um, but it was we had a really great um team of adults who were supporting us and like who I think seemed in retrospect to take like a special interest in me and um and really just were there for me in a lot of ways and like became like a community that I could feel belonging with.

SPEAKER_02 9:25

And they're still with you today, and you guys just went and saw them a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Yeah, my youth pastor and his wife, and um they were very, very important and influential, and um yeah, and so I I think that was really important for me. Dad also talks about his youth group experience being really important for him and his teenage years. Talk about that in a second. So, and then I think thirdly was that out of that um youth group, I met some really good friends who were um like be a little ahead of me on their like spiritual journey, and I felt really challenged by them and they were my peers, and I felt like that that was really important for me at that time and really um set me on a good path uh in terms of like my personal relationship with God.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Yeah, I think uh for me, my high school years well, for one, they're not very far off. Um, because I'm only 19, so I'm still in them. Um, but when I think about high school and you're not in high school anymore. I'm not in high school anymore. So I would say I I would say I I'm now in the college young adult. I'm in the college years. Saved by the bell, college years. The best season.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

It was so good.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Um we love we love saved by the bell.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Um resist the urge to sing the introduction.

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Save out of the bit.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

I'm not resisting the urge.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

No, stay out of the bill.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

Anyways, uh yeah, my my I could describe my high school years as probably like tumultuous. I mean, uh, you know, same kind of thing, like uh youth group was extremely helpful for me. Um, like honestly, I could say it changed my life, like um getting involved and uh just being able to see like what it means to truly follow Jesus, um, based on like mentors that I had and and my youth pastor at the time was was like someone I really looked up to and I wanted to be like and still do. Um and just cheerily people that like I had never realized uh what living for Jesus could look like and how freeing and amazing it could be um until I met those people. Um because I would say like going into high school, I was having a lot of questions about like um is this real? Is God real? Is this is this truly like the best option for life? Like I'd already I'd always wait like raised Christian, obviously, and in church, but um and I just got sick of it and there I was experiencing these like really hard things and it wasn't lining up with what the Bible had said or all these things I'd always heard. Um, and you know, I had a really hard time with depression as well and anxiety and suicidal thoughts and addictions and just really hard time, which I think a lot of high schoolers nowadays go through and and probably in your time too. But I mean I can I can ema I can remember just how many of my friends were dealing with sexuality and and uh going to a public school. I mean, I I was seeing people, you know, just doing drugs in the bathroom and I was see I was just seeing all this dark stuff and it wasn't lining up and like that eventually like caused me to turn away from the Lord for a bit, but then like thank God that He had a better plan, you know, and he he was willing he was willing and ready and uh able to keep pursuing my heart um until finally I was realized it was the better way, you know, and and now it's now it's been uh you know, three or so years like following the Lord um wholeheartedly. So I mean I I I just say all that to say that like I truly there are so many different things going on, but for the things that most helped me were were youth and and having parents that were willing to stick with me and never never gave up on me, um even when I'm sure they probably wanted to. And um maybe sometimes I didn't want to, but maybe thought about it. Really? Really? No. I would have been like, oh, having a sick of this chick. But yeah, I would say those two things, and then just like honestly, school really helped me. Like um, like being really uh involved, um, even though there were like times where I had to give things up to follow the Lord, um, and and that made me cause me to lose a lot of my friends, but uh, you know, the Lord still had a better plan and like uh focusing on like academics like really helped me, like I really loved school and I still do. I like I loved reading and I loved being um doing well in school and learning, and so that was really helpful for me. It gave me something to focus on, give me something to take my mind off of things whenever yeah it got really overwhelming. So yeah, that was my experience in high school. That was a lengthy explanation, but yeah, no, it's okay. Well, there's just so much.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

I'm like, I feel like I went uh again, like I feel like I went through like all the eras.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

There there is a lot, and I mean I think it's just uh I guess as we're talking about it, I'm thinking about we're talking about like the importance of relationships and in this time and like how important the right friends are, how important the right changing adults in your life are and faith community is and um I think sometimes it's hard to always keep sight of that, especially I think in our in our culture today, it's like when like there are different things that can really pull for our attention. Um, like we had with you, you know, your like talents and like desire to do performances, like show choir and things like that. And um, and like with Braden, we had um, you know, sports initially. It's like in in what pulls for our attention. Some of those things are like important and and we can get really fixated on them as like a means to go to college or a means to be successful or learn teamwork or learn, you know, collaboration and things like that. And none of things, none of those are bad, but I think sometimes they can be, it can be like, well, either my child's gonna be involved in church or they're gonna do this, but they can't do both because of our society nowadays doesn't really, you know, always adhere to better in Oklahoma than other places, but doesn't adhere to like those expectations that we're gonna be going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. And so things are scheduled over them, or you know, you don't always have the um, I guess there's not always the support for doing everything. And it can be hard to lose sight of like what is like what's the most important thing because especially whenever you have, you know, teenagers who are now communicating like adults in some ways and saying, This is what I do want to do, this is what I don't want to do. And I think we can feel as parents like that that natural pull toward them being more autonomous, and we can even be fighting with like um whether I should let you make this decision or I make this decision for you. Um, we have also the pushback because there's a need for independence that's happening, and that's all like God's design, like you said at the beginning of this episode, like this reminder that God created us to develop and have these like internal drives at these certain points in our lives for a purpose. Like it is by design that we uh do this.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Yeah, because I feel like a lot of parents want to push back against it. Um which I think is is both valid, but also it gets to a point where it it's fighting against God's design. Right. And then you're if you're if you're unwilling to flow with the Lord and how he designed even the most basic things to be, then of course you're going to uh have resistance. Yeah because his plan is ultimate and his plan is thing is all this. And obviously there's dis you gotta use discernment in those things. Yeah. Um, but the autonomy itself, um, maybe not even what they want to do with the autonomy, but the autonomy itself is by design. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now what they do with the autonomy, that's where the parenting comes in, and that's where the guide comes in. But the actual autonomy itself, it it's it's not right, yeah, it's godly. It's it's it's meant to be that way, it's set apart to be that way.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

Right. And it's so that they can have a, you know, we can all develop our own relationships and find like what is it that God has for me in my life um that is apart from my family, that is like unique.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Um and 'cause God doesn't just see in families, He does see families, so that He sees the individual. He's an individual personal God. Yeah. And so if we don't acknowledge that, then you're you're misjudging God's character as well. Yeah. And saying, Well, he only sees my kid as my extension, extension of me. That's not true. Because he designed them perfectly in the you know, formed him in the womb and has seen them grow up and has been there for them the whole time.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

Yeah. And we're meant to be individually drawn and pulled into relationship with Jesus, um, that we're we're supposed to leave our parents and we're supposed to follow him. Yeah. And that's biblical. It is.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

It's I mean, when we're gonna talk about marriage, yeah, they talk about marriage, they say you one will leave their family and hold fast and become one. And that's the new family, and that's the new yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

So yeah, we have, but I do think we have this like battle because it can I think it can feel like loss for the parent, it can feel like loss of control. So like fear can really take hold in this season. Um, because we are dealing with, you know, a person who is maybe looks like an adult now, maybe sounds a lot like an adult now, but does not have the brain development fully to function.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

What's the development looking like? So if they they look like an adult, speak like an adult, but like what's actually going on?

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Well, I mean, they're becoming more like an adult. I mean, it's happening, but it's a process. It's not in no and yeah, and the way that they the way they may look and sound and behave in some ways, um may not be it's still not fully formed, right? We're still like we're still forming um our like brain development is still happening. And so like even though the size of the brain is as big as it's going to get, like all the functionality is getting fine-tuned in this stage. And even finally, that prefrontal cortex is which is our um the part of our brain, right? Yeah, our thinking, our planning, our decision making, like whether we can make a good decision or not, that doesn't fully form until your mid-20s. So you're still in this place of like maybe not able to think through things all the way, maybe not able to um completely plan on your own. Although you, you know, teenagers are very capable of having long-term plans, they're capable of having long-term relationships, they're um capable of seeing a bigger picture and a more abstract way of thinking, um, but they're maybe just not able to fully make those decisions yet. And so they do need guidance, they need, they need support and they need, you know, parents and other adults in their lives to um speak into, you know, the decisions that they're making and thinking. But I I know that's hard. I mean, we yeah, we had some issues around that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

And uh yeah, it was hard for me to hear pushback against my ideas. Like, cause I I did I mean, you can always hear the phrase of like teenagers think they know everything.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

And part of that is like You've you've maybe know as much as you can. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

I mean I do know some stuff now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Um I have had experiences that I've learned.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

Um and I even and I even know that like on like that, you know, coming to the acceptance and like even the even having like being proud of you for there are you have strengths and you have a knowledge that I don't have, even though I'm your mom and even though I'm older, you know, I don't know everything more. Yeah. You know, and I know some things more than you do, but I don't know everything that you know. And that's okay. And that's like a good that's a good thing. And that's something that you can offer in our relationship that um is a benefit to me as your mom.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we uh we had our conflicts for sure. Um me and dad did as well. Although they were typically more subtle, um, ours would be more but uh like more direct direct. Yeah. Um and that was hard. Like that was really hard for me. And I'm sure it was hard for you too, because again, you're getting into that stage where this person is feeling more and more like your friend, more like someone you want to be around. And maybe that's not the case for every parent, but um like I love my mom and I like hanging out with her. I think she's funny and I think she's uh witty and she's knowledgeable and I like talking to her. That might not be the case for every teenager, although I will say that my like my mom did a great job of I feel like balancing um the friendship and the mom side. Um, because I feel like if you only, especially in the teenage years, I remember hearing so many of my friends being like, Oh, I just hate my mom. Like I hate my parents, like I don't want to be around them. Um and others would be like, Oh, my mom's my best friend. And I feel like we were a good balance of like, yes, I do think you were like a good friend to me, but also you are my mom. And so I feel like finding the balance for parents in that of friend and mom, of like being able to relate to them, and this is kind of what we went back to last week with the relational equity, yeah. But talking about like uh like are they will are they wanting to listen to you or do they think like because if if if the teenager is coming into every conversation with the expectation that they're either going to be criticized, yeah, they're going to be corrected, or they're just going to be ignored and feeling like they aren't valuable, yeah, then their ears are automatically gonna be shut.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Um, and that was or I mean, and there was some times too where I was just like, I just had a bad day and I don't want to hear anything. I just want to go to my room and read or something like that. And um that doesn't necessarily mean I should have been able to do that. Yeah. But it also takes like discernment of like where are we where like being able to to see that in in mom. Mom had a bad day, and maybe I'm you know coming up to her and I'm just like talking and talking and talking and not even like acknowledging the fact that maybe she just wants to be quiet for a bit, you know. Um, so I don't know. It's just like it's the weird relationship with things, but that's in any relationship too, is like being able to read the room, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

And like and and respecting some times that like need to pull away while also not allowing that to go on for too long. Because I remember I remember me and your dad having conversations. I think I think daddy daddy's always been a little more bothered by like you guys going to your room and being there, like in your room by yourself.

SPEAKER_02 25:53

He has, he has always been really upset about that. I remember it would always be like you guys just sit in your room on your phones all day. And for me, it was more like I just want to be alone. I've been extra because I'm an introvert too, and that was like my recharge place. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

But I also understand why dad was frustrated because he put he had been with us, and but like I see He had not been we had you guys had been gone, and then you came home and then you didn't want to like hang out with us.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

And in the moment though, I had no awareness, no awareness of the fact that he wanted to spend time with us. Yeah, I thought he was just being critical of the fact that we wanted to, you know, play video games or be on our phones, or for me it was reading or watching a TV show or watching Hallmark movies. I did like doing that a lot in high school, but um yeah, but I would have to do that. But now I can see now it's just because he wanted to spend time with us, but it felt to me like it was uh a dictator kind of feeling of like and me and Brian would just be like Dad hates us and doesn't want us to have fun, and you know, and it's just like it's like that I it's just uh like high schoolers just have a limited awareness.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Yeah, for sure. For sure. And and I I remember being like, just like they just need to like relax for a little bit, or they just you know, it's normal for teen, I would say to him over again, it's normal for teenagers to want to be in the room by themselves. Yeah, like that's their frustrated by that. It's like their domain. Um it's the same reason why for me, like I know that not every parent's gonna feel like this, but as long as you guys didn't have like dirty dishes and like stinky things, you know, happening in your room for the most or unless it just got completely out of control and I'm like, okay, it's been way too it's been too long, you need to clean your room up. I mostly didn't haven't ever bothered you guys about like how your rooms look because I feel like um I might be like disgusting. Yeah, I had to be like, okay, you need to clean your room up. But for the most part, I'm just like this is your space and you you need like a room.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

That was typically like, hey. Let's not keep let's not. But my room, our rooms, I was like, yeah, as long as it wasn't disgusting, you were pretty like it's your space.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

I'm gonna let you have your space. And so I feel like there's there's like uh the physical element of like they need to have their space. They do need to have a space that's it, if possible, that they can be in and they can relax and recharge and you know, have their thoughts and you know, deal with their feelings. They're trying to learn how to do that. And um, but then if they're gone for too long and if they're retreated for too long, then like you have to pull yeah, then go up and see them, go into their room, be like, hey, what's going on? You've been in here for a long time alone, and what's what's happening? You know, making sure that are they safe, are they being safe? Are they, you know, are they they do need to connect. Like, and remembering, even though they're showing you that, they still do need to connect with you. It's not it's a basic need. Yes, it is a that that connection is a need that they still have, um, that you have to kind of you know be watching for and be trying to attune to like when is it that they need me and when is it that they need to be with other people, when is it that they need to like be alone, and um and so they're trying to figure that out and and I think it goes better if you know parents can be aware of that, respectful of it. Um, you know, this doesn't mean that they are entitled to all privacy all the time and like, you know, you don't make sure they're being safe or that they are safe um, you know, from other people or situations and stuff like that. But it is a it's like you know, a balancing act because they are trying to learn how to be, you know, adults.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Right. Yeah. I mean, it's a it's a strange time period, but it's also really formative. Yeah. Um and we and we were kind of where we were looking at like the statistics and stuff of like high schoolers, and we were looking at like how interesting like the sleep cycle is, and like I think about like physical activity and stuff during that time. Very important, very important.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

They're staying reactive in some way, you know. Um also like what you were saying about the sleep, this is one that can really get, you know, be difficult for parents, especially like if they've have grown up in a family culture that says that like sleeping is laziness or like a need to sleep or rest or that kind of thing, that that means like you're not being productive enough.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

Um I remember I would come home every s day after school and took like a two-hour nap. It just like because I was so emotionally like drained. Yeah, you're tired of it. And like part of that was my depression things, but part of it was just like I I'm just tired. I'm just tired. I'm just tired. I just need to pretty much just slept and woke up for dinner and then stayed up, did my homework and everything. But you had to be back to bed. I did have to be at school super early.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

And I had a hard time and I was taking all those classes and horror classes and exactly, and like one of the things about this time frame that I think is really interesting is that um for adolescents, like through those teen years, the the melatonin is not released until later at night. So actually it's actually harder to go to sleep for teenagers, and they they they also they need to go to bed later and they need to wake up later. So, like in an ideal world, teens we could would would go to bed late and sleep in.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

I've seen multiple studies on that because there's always that question of like when should school start, and I've read several articles. That was like the prime ACT question right on the writing essays would be something around the lines of like there's this data that like sleep is required for teenagers at this time, and how would that affect the schools? It's just yeah, it was always in question for the colour.

SPEAKER_00 32:01

A lot of time schools like that, you know, for for high schools, they start earlier, not later too. They think they think I think switched maybe that it's um yeah, that that like better for elementary schools, schoolers to take it up earlier. And yeah, yeah, but that's not how it rolls anyway. Um, so like even how we're interpreting that, you know, whether whether it's okay or not okay for teenagers to sleep more, sleep in later, you know, I mean, it's important to know like what's actually going on. This is not this actually is a physiological issue, yeah. That they um that is unique to the teenage years and is not a representation of how lazy your child's gonna be as an adult.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Because it's gonna correct and they're gonna get up earlier and they're gonna go to bed. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 32:55

I would feel like I've much uh I'm much more able now to get up earlier. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Um and I would say for me, that probably relates to the mid-20s.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

Yeah. Even I used to sleep until like 12 if I could when I was in high school. Um, but now like I usually just wake up whenever the sun comes up. Yeah. And I'm pretty regulated. Like I don't feel tired all the time. And part of that's the college life. Like I'm I'm yeah uh able to do things a lot slower than whenever my schedule was back to back to back in high school. But um, yeah, I I would definitely say like my sleep schedule changes. Yeah. Um not for I mean Braden right now sleeps till like m 1 a.m. every time he means 1 p.m. 1 p.m. Yes, 1 p.m.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

Every time he could, every time he can. Oh my goodness, you can't wake that kid up. Yeah, I know. He loves to sleep. But my my I mean, you know, each to each their own. Um, but I I do let development inform my decision about letting him sleep longer. It's not because I'm not annoyed a bit that he's still asleep. Still asleep, um or that he could be doing something else.

SPEAKER_02 34:03

Yeah, you're just in awareness that it's also new, that he might need it.

SPEAKER_00 34:08

Yeah. And it's really important for brain development. And so since all this fine tuning is still happening and all this brain development's still going on, it's actually helpful. And my thought is that maybe it's helpful for his brain, you know, to get rest. And so Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

And he's usually in a pretty good mood whenever he's gotten that much sleep, too. Yeah, he is. This is true.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Yeah, brain's our case study. Yeah, brain is our case.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

He is the teenager.

SPEAKER_02 34:38

He is the uh he's the epitome of a teenager. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

He always has been. He has.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:46

But yeah, so just like allowing development to inform your decisions is really important in this season. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

But I think what we haven't talked about has a lot to do with, you know, who are who are your teens becoming? You know, what about problematic things that come up in like challenging situations where you have to step in as parent? And um, I think we we are definitely gonna cover that. We need to cover that. So we're gonna get into that, but we wanted to lay the foundation today. I do have a lot of experience with this. My own kids and and not my own kids. Yeah. So um we're gonna have to do that.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

So that yeah, because that's the biggest, I think, question that probably most parents have is the what do I do? What do I do? Yeah, what do I do? So yeah, we're gonna get into that probably next episode, I'm assuming. Um so but we wanted to lay the foundation of of just this time.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Yeah, and maybe get you thinking about your own your own experience as a teenager and yeah, putting yourself in your own shoes, remembering what it was like.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

Yeah. So yeah, thank you guys for listening. And um make sure to follow us on Instagram, uh, YouTube, or wherever you get your streaming platform, and you can turn your notifications on to make sure you get new episode updates.

SPEAKER_01 36:08

Um yeah, yeah, thanks for watching, thanks for being here. All right, bye bye bye.