Good Times Sally

Nina and monkey discuss icebergs, death, diet, news bans and phone bans and keeping it light with Monkey's spontaneous invention of a character called Good Times Sally. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everybody. Hello. Hope you're having a good week. I hope it's uh varied and uh thrilling. That's a little strong. As long as it's like basically okay, that'll do, I imagine. Uh but well done for uh getting up if you did. If you have, you may not have done. Well done for brushing your teeth if you did that. Yes, if you did that, well done for doing that. That's that's something, isn't it? That's a standard that you haven't fallen below. Uh well done for um getting some work done if you got work done. Wow, Nina, this like kindergarten. Nina and monkey are chewing the fat and shooting the shit till it's dead. I want to go to Newfoundland. Do you really? I like Newfoundland. I went to St. John's many years ago, and in St. John's you have a uh iceberg occasionally drifts into the hargar and fills you with thrill. Fills me with horror. Nice slidey white iceberg. Scares the hell out of me. It's the underneath part. I mean that's scary. That phrase tip of the iceberg. It's got brings a shudder to my soul. What is it about it? I don't know. I've always been frightened by there being a lot underneath. Oi oi. Well, like a ship. This is a this is a what do you call it? A phobia? Maybe, maybe not that strong. This is a little horror of mine, Nina doesn't like when the last bit of ship goes down. Ship that is. Monkey did not enunciate that and enunciate that. You didn't enunciate, enunciate very well. This is a new law. When the last bit of a ship goes down, like in Titanic, all the ships under then you can't see it. But that little bit, like the last six inches, the very last little bit of a ship going down when you know there's all the rest down there, gives me the horrors. And I can't really explain why. Well cry. Lean into it. What is it that you don't like? I don't like that you don't know that there's a big ship attached to this little corner of a thing. So is that does that present as you not liking what you can't see, what you don't know about a person, something larger than it looks? Yeah, I guess so. Like, would you feel the saying about a woman's head sticking out the ground? Not really. I mean I don't love that. Uh but I I no, it's not the same kind of feeling. It's not meant to be down under the water mainly is the main thing. Yeah, but if it's just sinking and you don't see that top bit, is it as bad? Yeah, actually it is as bad. There's no going back. I don't like no going back things. Nina woke up really worried about death the other day. I woke up really worried about death. What was it that you were so worried about? Not existing. There's no way out we're going towards it. So what are you gonna dance in the meantime? You've got to make use of it every day and every day when I'm so petty or I'm irritated or I'm in a bad mood I get so cross with myself for that. What do you want to be some singing hacky clacker all the time? I don't see have any excuse for not doing that. It's so finite. So you don't believe there's anything after. Well it's things like when people have a stroke or something, you know, or get an illness that makes them not really there anymore. That makes me think that we very much need our bodies to exist. Yeah. No jumping little loungs in a field of daisies for you then. That'd be nice, wouldn't it? But I don't think so. Have you ever tried DNT? I'm never gonna try DMT, I'm far too scared I wanna try. There are drugs I want to try that you're too scared of. I want acid, I want DNT. I'm scared, monkey. And also, if it's true actually I don't think it croagely is. A lot of people say that when you take DMT it's like what happens when you die or it's something that's hiding in your chemical makeup in your brain that only gets released only for the big one. For the last show you get a little bit of it. I mean it's lurking in there all the time, but you get a good dose at the end. I don't know if that's true. I Googled it and it doesn't seem to be very true. So I don't think so we need needn't fear a last minute bad trip. I don't know I don't know what what it's gonna feel like. You wanna do it well, don't you? I've always thought I want to sort of do it well, but I d what is doing it well? I mean you're very lucky if you get to do it at all consciously or unlucky depending on the pain you're in. Um but what happened the the the other day? I woke up sort of in the night, not that long after having fallen asleep, thinking, Oh fuck, this isn't forever. She really freaked out. I I did let out a sound. She freaked all the way out. All the way out till Tuesday. I was a little bit I would try I would like to try to explain what that feeling was. Would you like me to take over? Shall I try and explain what it was? If you can engage, yes. What do you mean if you can engage how dare you catenise me? I can engage better than you can. Okay, give it a go. Well I think what it was was you thought it's true. The truth of it hit you. Which doesn't always get through. The truth that there isn't all that much left, that you don't get to live forever on and on. Because the only thing you know to do is be your life. Yes. And it was the thought that that would be taken away, and then you would get taken away. And then that would be the end of the you, and then there's no more being. I mean, when you let that fully strike you, it is a bit a little bit like the Titanic under the under the sea, the bit you can't see. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, sorry everyone, that's a bit depressing. Yeah, it's not hoity toity, laughy Darthy, laughy Darthy. These expressions you come up with, monkey. I really don't know where you get. Hoity toity means snooty nosed, snotty nosed, pious and stuff. Is that what you mean? No, I mean it's not a barrel with lass, it's not a it's not a nickel tassel swirling, it's it's not a little duck going across a pond. It's it's not, you know, good time sally getting her tits out. No. So far this episode has not been good time sally getting her tits out. I wanna eat good time sally. Don't we all monkey, don't we all good time sally, life and soul of every carty. Life and soul of any carty. Good time Sally, she's the one. Good time Sally, she's a lot of fun. Good time Sally, get her a drink. Good time Sally, she'll do anything you think. Good time Sally, hot and sweaty. Good time Sally, don't call her Getty. Good time Sally, she's the non one. Good time Sally, she's got a great ass. Hmm Thanks, monkey, for good time Sally. Good time Sally, she's a lot of fun. Good time Sally she can handle your gun. Good time Sally she's getting so good. Good time Sally and now you've got wood. Good time Sally, what's her name? It's Sally, it's Sally, and that's her game. Okay. That's Good Time Sally by Monkey. It is the antidote to Nina talking about death and getting her front a crest. And so um it's funny, I just went to um it's not fun. Oh god, anyway, I went to South whether it's funny or not is not for you to say. Well, it's not a joke, is what I'm saying. I meant funny strange. I went to Starbucks just now with a notepad and left my phone at home. Nina's trying to she's trying to edge out the phone out of her life. I'm really trying. I'm doing my very best to get rid of my phone. It's difficult to get rid of something that has become so ingrained. Now I might get this thing called a brick, which allows you to control what apps are available on your phone. If you're going out, for example, you can turn off Instagram and all that shit, you know. You can do that if you tap it. You don't want people to do that, do you? You want them to watch your clips. Well, I I I don't know. I'm putting less clips out now. I'm doing about one a week. That's not for anyone, isn't it? One click a week. Um, but anyway, what I was saying is that I went without my phone and she's sleeping without her phone now too. I've done about four nights without my phone. I leave it downstairs. Because she sleeps upstairs. I'm just filling that in a little detail in or it wouldn't make any sense. I think people can assume monkey. I leave the phone downstairs. I go upstairs to bed and it's not in the room. She slept through first two nights after some controlled crying. There was no controlled crying. I just slept through, which was fabulous. It felt really good. And then the third night I did wake up, but I didn't have my phone to look at, and I went back to sleep pretty quickly, and that has happened since then, two nights running. It's revolutionary for me, because I would wake up and think, oh, I'll probably need a podcast to get me to sleep, or I'll need an audio book. She'd listen to all kinds of shit to get her back to sleep. Sometimes if it was interesting, I'd be awake for hours. Um, and then but now, now not so. Not so now, like a little gay, off she goes. Um and so that's been really good. And and so it was Hugh Grant got you onto this, wasn't it? Why so we're gonna put Hugh Grant on her phone, ironically. And he was talking about how much he hates it, but he's he meant it so hard that I felt it went into me, and I thought, I know that feeling. I mean it so hard that I want life back. She wants life like it was in the 90s. I just want to feel the texture of a day, you know. I want to wake up, I want to be a bit bored and wonder what I'm gonna do with the day. Yeah, back in the fucking 90s. Well, I think I had a phone in the 90s, but it wasn't so obviously complex as today and so endlessly entertaining. The infinity of scrolling. So I want to feel that what do you mean the texture of the day, like lunky or smooth? There's something in the air. Wanna feel what the air is like, or wanna know you want to know if it's raining. Well, raining wouldn't be my choice, but spring is here right now, so there's a texture in the everyday. We're on this planet, everyone. Don't forget this little fucking planet that we're all fighting on. We're still on it. We're still on it. And uh and you must stop looking at the news. Don't feed that animal. I mean, I don't think the news makes any crisis any better. But it's not it's it's obviously it's important to be informed so everyone can vote and do whatever they need, but to know everything, every fucking terrible thing that's happening all the time, every day. You know, check-ins I believe in, check-ins, go good news source, but don't fucking refresh that beast all the time. I don't think it's healthy. Well, I don't think as animals, we're really cut out to know what's happening all the time. She wants to live in ignorant. I don't want to live in it. I want to know, but I don't want to like constant updates because it's frenetic and it it fucks your mind. Okay, here she goes. It it's so. And also I think that the clickbait of news is just fucking horrendous. They amplify all the wrong people all the time and it's horrible. So I would say don't feed the beast. No one's asking for your advice, Nina. No one's asking for your opinion. I've gone off track, haven't I? You've gone seriously off track, and now you're in the wilderness and there isn't a gas station or a toilet for miles, and you're on your own sitting by the roadside because you got yourself here. You went off track, and now you're sitting there, and no, you can't have someone like water because I only got a little bit left. So you sit there dry and think about what you've done. Okay. What was I saying? You were talking about the news and you got derailed. I was talking about having less phone, wasn't I? I was talking about I know what I was talking about. What are you talking about? I was gonna say that I think as horrible as things are now in the world Oh she this is an excuse for not watching the news. She's about to provide it, so listen, just so you know in advance, I'm not with her. I don't think the same as her. Carry on, you know, carry on with your little point. I think the history of humanity has been barbaric, has been vile always to most people, right? This is terrible now too. It's never been otherwise. It's a species flaw. Be consoled by that That's consoling. See, I'm not with her on this at all. Be consoled by that that things aren't worse than they've ever been. Things have been historically vile and barbaric and hideous always because our species is crappy. Don't sweat it like it's worse and it's all going to shit. It was always going to shit. We're going to shit from day one, is that we're saying I'm not with her. What are you with? Or I leave. I have hope for humanity. Do you really? This doesn't sound like you at all. Well actually I'm I'm faking it a little, I'm just trying to provide a different argument. What do it then if you're gonna Well I'm just gonna say that everyone has love in them somewhere and it they they can get a little knocked off course by a shitty start and the potential is there in everyone for love. Even psychopaths. I you think? You don't think that's like a brain type that's just really bad? Uh psychopaths. Yeah, you think they can be lovable? I don't know the chemistry, you know. I'm not a neuroscientist. I can't answer that. I refuse to be made to answer that. Get off the fence, monkey. I can't. There's a hand up my arse. Off the fence. Come on. What do you think? You think if a if a psychopath, if they'd been loved and nurtured, breastfed, if they'd been breastfed from day one, loved, you know, given full attention, what what do you think? I think, well, I don't know, you're gonna have to look it up. I can't tell you. I think a cuddly psychograph isn't totally out of the question. Oh, don't you? No, I don't. What about like oh my god, do you remember that girl who oh god, I saw a clip of that when she used to have a song. There was a clip of a girl who who liked to kill animals and she just couldn't wait to do it, but that was because she'd been very tortured herself. So your theory doesn't hold yet this. I mean, my theory, whose theory is it? I can't remember who's on what theory actually right now. That's the problem, isn't it? Well, we do sometimes cross. We cross over, we don't keep our distinct personalities. But are you still on the side that everyone could be that humanity is savable, everyone can be lovable, or or psychopaths are born that way and we're fucked? I don't know. I I I I have to look into it or you're not gonna get a throng answer out of me. What's your stance? Yeah, I'm with you on I don't know. I don't know. So let's let's put that down to one side for a while. Just because you have a podcast doesn't mean that you're uh any kind of authority on anything. No. No, I'm definitely not. No, I don't know anything. But all I just kind of thought was we're looking at these horrible things happening all the time. And um maybe monitoring how terrible everything is. It's futile because it's never been otherwise. But then obviously that's a worry because you know you might want to center charity. I'm not saying don't send to charity. I'm saying donate to the people who are actively doing something. And if you're not actively doing something, watching isn't helping. Maybe. Maybe. Listen, I don't know. I don't know. I have a huge respect for people who who uh watch and stay more involved and more active. Okay, well, this is Nina's weekly guilt trip to herself that she doesn't do more. Well, anyway, moving on from that. I was gonna say I went to Starbucks. Oh God, Nina, what are you doing supporting such a thing as Starbucks? It's awful that I do, I know, but I like the blonde roast. So sometimes I go for the blonde roast. Oh now you're advertising. Jesus Christ, I quit. I need another hand up my arse. You're too fucking corporate. Well, is that the end of my road as well? Oh Jesus Christ. It's the worst coffee. Don't you want a nice little flat light from some small outlet who make it just right out of ethically sourced beans. Yes. Yes, I do, and I will, and I'm sorry. Anyway, do you know what the most horrific thing about that Starbucks is? On the door, it's like a baby changing table sign. Have you seen that shit? That's really that's that's detorned. It's really the worst icon I've ever seen drawn. It's a lamb with a baby. It's it's looks like a man. It's got no tits, you know, it's got no it's got no curves to speak of. It's a straight up and down guy with a with a infant, with a small infant that's basically a sort of a ball shape. And he his arm is punching right into the gaggy middle. I mean, what's he doing? It looks like he's fisting it. It's the worst icon. What are they doing? Well, I think the icon on their toilet for the gay changing table is what they're doing to the planet. Okay, monkey. There we go. You got your point at the cross. Um anyway, so I did sorry, I'm looking at my notes. I went uh I and I wrote a few notes. And we haven't done any of them. No, we haven't done any of them, not a single one. I don't know, I'm gonna put this out today, and I think that what by the time you might be listening to this, there's still might be a chance to see Tracy Engine at the Tate. Go to see Tracy Emmons exhibition at the Tate, and don't expect to come out without having cried a lot. Well, you may not, but you're gonna feel something. Her feelings are right there, and you get 'em. And it's so potent. It is how can something that it can can be so painful, be so nourishing? She's amazing. She's a sh what does she do? She's an alchemist. She's an alchemist. She turns it into dancing. Everything that happened to her is absolutely great. And it was when she's like happy or life-affirming. That's the shit that makes me cry. Is the is the happy survival of the of the horror. I love her. Nina Larcha. I love her. I I loved it. Absolutely loved it. And oh my god, like her tapestries, and they're like hand stitched, and they're so cozy, and their messages are so complex. And she embraces it all. Okay, Nina, you're not gonna you're not Kushuk any. Time soon. I'd like to talk about something else. Okay, what do you want to talk about? I like the song Cocaine Country Music, is that what it's called? I don't know what it's called. I think it might be called that. I like that song. Anyway, um, so I've I'm eating differently. Does anyone care how I'm eating? No. I'm gonna tell you anyway. She's gonna tell you anyway, struck and guys, this is how she's eating. I have all my life had a battle with food. Food addict? Possibly. Absolutely. Back in university, I wanted to be stick thin. Yeah, it was all that shit. It was uh the cake loss quote. Well, I didn't hear that quote till later, but nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. It's not true. Everything tastes better. So it that's the problem, it doesn't work that way. So and then back then at university, it was my idea to be bulimic, yeah, one of the greatest ideas. I asked a friend who was very thin how she managed it. Oh, she said it's easy, I just chuck it off after. And I thought, oh, what a clever idea. How come I never thought of that? So off she went to the toilets for the next three years. It was a bad time. I wasn't I'm not proud of that. I'm ashamed of that, obviously. But I suppose it speaks to the pressure that young girls were under. She wanted to be good time Sally, cooking in the loo. Good time Sally, what does she do? I wanted to be good time Sally, and I thought that Good Time Sally had to be skinny and it was very stupid. And though that went in deep to me, that gotta be skinny, gotta be skinny. It went so deep and it's so stupid, and I wish I could rewrite it. It's in there though, it's on the hard drive. It's on the hard drive a bit, but what that did was it set my eating wonky um so that eating becomes something that once I start I can't stop. And I I I sort of can, but not unless I leave the place or you know, she's not like a sophisticated well, it's not like, you know, half a croissant in a cafe, and then oh no, I don't need the other half, I'm not hungry. Nina's not like that. No, I'm not like that. It's a bot a monster gets awoken, and then I have to manage that somehow and constantly fails. Well, you know, I don't I do and I don't. Anyway, so I started eating a bit differently because I could feel myself falling off the wagon of healthy eating in a big way. It's getting dangerous, it's getting dangerous. So I started doing 816 pretty much, and I fasted, and it it sort of it's a little bit of the game, isn't it? It's not great. Listen, I'm not saying fasting's a good idea, none of it's healthy. Do the do the do do whatever the hell you need to do. But what I was trying was because once I break the seal it's not a seal. Once she breaks the seal on eating, she was gonna say it's not a seal. It's more like a down. It's more like the down custards what when Nina breaks it on eating. What was my point? You're gonna show how you eat now. So I've been doing an on-off kind of thing, which is working for now as the latest ad. It won't l work for very long. I was doing a thing where in the notebook in the morning I would write what I would eat for the day and try and stick with it. That worked for a time. It did. And then I was listening to various podcasts. Oh, it was the Catherine Ryan one about your age, your biological age. Fasting apparently is very good, according to that show. So that's why I gave it a go. And there we are. So I've been doing that and it's working for you. It's kind of working, but I fell off the wagon badly the other night. What does that look like? That looked like a huge bag of l large giant Cadbury's buttons chased with roasted hazelnuts. Make your own Nutella kind of thing. Maybe Good Time Sally knows what to do. Fuck egg of shut up about Good Time Sally. Everyone loves Good Time Sally. You can't shut up, Good Time Sally. Here she comes. Good time Sally, she's bringing the guns. The buns or the guns? The guns. Iced guns from Good Time Sally. Everyone gets on from Good Time Sally. Good Time Sally, she's a perfect hostess. Good Time Sally, she wears a short dress. Good Time Shiny, let me get in. Good time Shannon, it's win-win-win. Nina continues to watch old uh classic films. Yeah, Monk Cleopatra now. Elizabeth Taylor, she's good time shallow. Elizabeth Taylor's quite uh yeah, she is a hottie, isn't she? She's kind of half nude in it a bit. She's very comfortable with herself. It was quite fun to watch. I've never seen her before. What the fuck is the colour of her eyes? Purple, purple monkey. Fucking incredible. And there's some actors in that that you only know as old men. There's one guy who's been in so many films. She can't think of any right now. Anyway, um Crimes and Misdemeanours. Oh, Woody Allen. You're gonna get out, Woody Allen. I'm not going there, I just did watch that film and he's in that. But he's in this. He's in this in the toga, and you can see his legs and he's a haughty. It's like this old man, and you're like, oh, that's what you were like. Anyway, Cleopatra. Um I I watch these like box sets because about four hours long. It takes about 20 minutes for the opening titles to end. It's like, yeah, you get like an overture. You're a long, long piece of music. You're not even looking at titles, you're just looking at the word overture. And that it really is the film. And Nina watches that transfixed. I don't necessarily sit still and watch it. I might have a second activity going on. I want to replace this stool I'm sitting on's cover. Why don't you like it? Because it's brown and gross and it's like brown paisley pattern or something. Yeah, it's a dismal, you know, that's a dismal pattern. I need like an off-cut. You need to go on EK, get an off-cut or some sort of uh what do you call it? Upholstery fabric and get your staple gun out. I'm scared of my staple gun. Why? Because you're gonna stick it in your own head like the wrestler, like Nicky Rock. No, because I I don't know where the staples are, and then I get scared that I'll find out that I've lost them forever, and then I get scared that I wasted money on buying a staple gun. That is not why I expected you to be scared of the staple gun. I think that's enough for today. We could go into why i you know, other things like your exercise routine. No one wants to know my exercise routine. She's trying to save her knees. She's got no good knees in the family. No one in my family has good knees, they've all got replaced ones, and I've been with them through their knee surgeries, and it looks like hell. It looks very painful. The bit where you wake up and there's a great big Frankenstein stitch right down the centre of your knee, and you've got to try and bend it to 90 degrees. Ow! Not fun. Get a degree like me, no gones at all. Just a flocky sucker, listen. See my arms go left and right like so. Yeah, yeah, be nice, no bone. No, it wouldn't be nice, no bones. Don't be an idiot. Anyway. I've been doing knee exercises in advance in case they ever need that. Shoot, her knees go clickery clack. They've always done that since I was like twenty. That's not an age thing. I've always had noisy, very noisy knees. But don't cut it to the microphone. No, because it'll make you all sick. It'll make you absolutely sick. We're gonna have to bring in good time sally with a new round of tequila shots. Um anyway, what was that? I was gonna say What were you gonna say? Oh I did a gig last night, that was it. I need to do a gig last night. I did a fun gig. The end was an absolute what was that? I don't know. She had a coach driver, a programmer, two teachers, maybe someone else. And I wanted to make a song, so she did a song about these guys on a coach, and it was a not lear crew to be on a coach. It wasn't quite enough to make a coach shape on the stage either, because you can't have them stacked behind each other because then the audience can't see them. No, you've got to have them kind of in a line, which didn't really make sense. And I had the coach driver, uh, you know, in the middle of the line, I mean. And she sang a song about everyone going up the roundy hill. So that was a finale and it was w it was fun, but it made no sense. It didn't hear a lot of shins up the roundy hill. But I love these gigs I'd do at Leicester Square Theatre. I only wish that there was a few more rows to get more people in. Damn it. What a nice groglin to have. It is and it isn't. It's it's yeah. It's hard to find theatres the right size for the right vibe. You know what I mean? Yeah, before you get some cold ass room. You don't want some cold ass room. You don't want some kind of arena gull shit. I couldn't sell an arena anyway, but there's something like really great about some rooms and they're just small. But the problem is then people can't come. Anyway, it's not that small there, it's quite big. I don't know what the capacity is. It's sizable and feels good, and that's like my ideal size, so we are just gonna have to do more shows. Yeah, but I also want to be a mother, you know. I don't want to just be a showtime showtime Sally. Showtime Sally, she's stressed out. Good time, Sally, she knows what it's about. Okay. Thanks for listening, everybody. Love you all. So have have good days. Have good week. Go see Tracy Emmin. It's very good. Can watch Cleocatra if you want that kind of shit. Um careful with the fasting. I don't necessarily recommend it. And what was the other thing I don't necessarily recommend? Not w watching the news. I don't necessarily not recommending anything. Just uh enjoy yourself. And one thing we heartily do recommend is good time, Sally. Take a little of her skirit with you into the week.