8. Why You Don’t Feel Close to God (Even When You Believe in Him)

Why does God feel distant, even when you believe in Him? And how do you actually reconnect with God in a real, simple way?

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 If you’ve ever felt far from God, disconnected in your faith, or unsure how to build a real relationship with Him, you are not alone.

In this episode of the Pretty Deep Podcast, we unpack why God can feel distant even when you believe, what’s really happening beneath the surface, and how to reconnect with God without pressure, performance, or striving.

 This is not about trying harder or being more “spiritual.”
 It’s about understanding the truth about God, shifting your mindset, and learning how to walk with Him in everyday life.

 We talk about:
 • Why you feel far from God (even as a Christian)
 • The hidden mindset that creates distance in your relationship with God
 • Performance vs. relationship with God
 • How to draw near to God in a practical, simple way
 • Why awareness of God’s presence changes everything

If you’ve been feeling spiritually stuck, disconnected, or unsure how to grow in your faith, this episode will help you experience clarity, peace, and a deeper connection with God.

TIMESTAMPS:
⏱️ 0:00 — You believe… but something feels off
⏱️ 0:43 — “I want that… but I don’t know how”
⏱️ 2:13 — The quiet disconnect no one talks about
⏱️ 3:36 — The thought that changes everything (and not in a good way)
⏱️ 4:55 — Why “doing more” isn’t fixing it
⏱️ 7:20 — The shift that changes your relationship with God
⏱️ 10:54 — If He’s already done this… why would He pull away?

🎥 Watch this next:
Why You Still Feel Stuck (Even After All This Growth)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5DLicOCVNY&t=1s

🔔 Subscribe to Pretty Deep Podcast:
https://www.youtube.com/@PrettyDeepPodcast

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Instagram: @PetrinaVerma

💬 Let’s talk:
Have you ever felt distant from God… and what do you think caused it?

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 why does God feel distant, feeling far from God, how to reconnect with God, relationship with God, Christian faith, spiritual growth, why don’t I feel close to God, how to get closer to God, faith struggles, Christian women, trusting God, hearing from God, walking with God, knowing God, Christian podcast

💛 ABOUT THE CHANNEL

Welcome to Pretty Deep Podcast — where we explore the real struggles women face in seasons of change and uncover deeper truths about God, identity, purpose, and personal growth.

New episodes every week.

⚖️ DISCLAIMER

This content is for educational and inspirational purposes only. We share personal insights and biblical perspectives. Always seek your own spiritual guidance and discernment.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever had a season where you believe in God but he just feels far? You call yourself a Christian. You believe God is real. You might even go to church. But when it comes to your actual life, you don't know what to do next. You feel lost in certain situations. And when something hard happens, your first thought is, why is this happening to me? And then you hear other people talking about their relationship with God, how they read the Bible and something just clicks for them. Or how they pray and feel peace, or how they sense God guiding them. And part of you thinks, I want that. But if you're really honest, you don't know how to get there. And underneath all of it, there's this quiet feeling that you're doing life on your own. Hi, I'm Petrina, and this is the Pretty Deep Podcast, where we talk about the real struggles that women carry in seasons of change and the misunderstandings about God that often quietly sit underneath them. Because so often what we are experiencing in life is not just about our circumstances, it's about what we believe about God. In this episode, we're going to talk about why God can feel distant even when you believe in Him. And what's actually going on underneath that feeling. We'll also talk about the quiet misunderstanding that keeps you feeling disconnected and what it really looks like to draw near to God in a simple and real way. Because for a lot of women, this isn't a loud or obvious problem. It's actually something much quieter than that. And stay with me till the end because I want to show you something very simple that can completely change the way you experience your relationship with God, starting today. And this can be such a strange place to be because on the outside everything looks fine. You believe in God, you go to church, you would absolutely call yourself a Christian. But on the inside, there's a disconnect. It's like you hear people talk about their relationship with God and it sounds real to them. Like he's actually part of their life. And you want that. You really do. But you don't quite know how it works. And you don't know how they are hearing him or how they are getting that clarity, or why their faith seems to feel so alive. When yours, it just feels quiet. So when life gets hard and when you need direction or when you're trying to make a decision, you don't go instinctively to God. You just try to figure it out yourself. You overthink it, you talk it through with people, and you go in circles in your own head. And at some point, this thought creeps in. Why don't I have that kind of relationship with God? And sometimes, if you're really honest, there's even a part of you that wonders, did I do something wrong? Am I just not that kind of person? Is this just not something I'll ever experience? So you stay in this place where you believe in God, but you're not actually walking with him. And that's where that feeling comes from. That quiet sense of distance, that feeling of doing life on your own. And that's when things start to go wrong. Because when you feel that distance, you don't just sit there neutrally. You start explaining it to yourself. You start thinking, maybe I haven't prayed enough, maybe I haven't been consistent, or maybe I've done something wrong and disappointed God. And before you even realize it, you've come to this conclusion. God feels far because I am doing this wrong. And that's the problem. Not that God is distant, but that that is how you have been relating to him all along. You've been relating to him as someone who needs you to get everything right all the time before he'll even come close to you. And that belief that God withdraws when you're not doing things perfectly, that is exactly what keeps you feeling far from him. And this is how it starts to show up in your life. You either try harder or you quietly pull away. For some women, it looks like trying. You'll think, okay, I need to fix this. So you try to pray more, be more consistent, do the right things. And let me just say here, those things, they're not bad. Praying, reading your Bible, living in obedience, those are beautiful things. But they are only life-giving when they come from relationship. When they come from a place of knowing God and walking with him and wanting to be close to him. Then they bring connection. But when they come from a place of, I need to do this so that God will accept me. Or I need to do this so I can feel close to him again. Or even I need to do this so I'm not disappointing him. That's when they stop being relational and they start becoming performative. And that's why even when you're doing the right things, it still all feels like a lot of effort. Like you're trying to get back to something that doesn't feel natural to you. Because deep down, you're not relating to God as someone you're already close to. You're relating to him as someone you're trying to get back to. And then there's others that go the other way. They don't try harder, they just drift. And the reason that you drift when this happens is because it all just feels so hard. It feels like one more thing you have to do, one more expectation, one more area where you're not measuring up. And you know what? At some level, you don't actually want to be in a relationship that feels like that. A friendship where you feel like you have to get everything right all the time, and you have to be consistent all the time, and you have to be good enough just to be close. Because if that's what God's like, then of course you're going to pull back. Not because you don't care about him, but because it feels like too much. Like he's too holy, too distant, too demanding to ever really be close to. And so you stop engaging and you don't open your Bible and you don't talk to him. And again, it's not because you don't believe in him, it is because of the way you see him. That's what makes your relationship feel heavy instead of life-giving. And in both cases, whether you're striving or you're drifting, you end up in the same place, not actually walking with God. And this is why you can find yourself in this place where you believe in God, you care about him, you even want to be close to him, but you're not actually experiencing that closeness. Not because God has moved away from you, but because of how you've been relating to him. And this is the shift. This is the part that changes everything. What if the distance you feel is not because God has stepped back, but because you've been approaching him as if he has stepped back. As if he's someone that you have to do everything right to get to. As if he's waiting for you to be better. As if he's holding back until you prove something. When in reality, that's not who he is at all. God is not distant. He is near. He has always, always been near. The Bible says in James chapter 4, verse 8, draw near to God and he will draw near to you. It doesn't say get everything right first or be perfect and then come. It just says draw near. And in Psalm 145, in verse 18, it says, The Lord is near to all who call on him. Not some people, not the really spiritual ones. All. He is not watching you from a distance, waiting for you to get your life together before he comes close to you. He's not pulling back when you're inconsistent. He's not withdrawing when you don't get it right. Romans 8, 38 and 39 tells us nothing can separate us from the love of God. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Nothing. That's not how he relates to you. He relates to you as a father, not a distant authority, not someone watching from far away, waiting for you to get it right, or waiting for you to make a mistake so he can tap you on the head for it. He's a father. And the Bible is so clear about this. In Romans chapter 8, verse 15, it says, You have received the spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, Abba, Father. The word Abba, it's not formal or distant. It's deeply personal. It's intimate. It's like saying, Daddy. That's how God relates to you. And if you ever doubt how much he wants relationship with you, look at what he's already done. In Romans chapter 8, verse 32, it says, He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all. Let that sink in. God didn't withhold his son, his only son. He gave him. Why? So that you could be close to him, so that nothing would stand between you and him. So that you could come freely, not carefully, not perfectly, not after you fixed yourself. Because the truth is, Romans 5, verse 8 says, While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. And even more than that, in Colossians 1, 21 and 22, it says, Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds, but now he has reconciled you. So even when you were far from him, even when you didn't know him, even when you weren't choosing him, he chose you. He loved you. He made a way for you. That's not the action of a distant God. That's the action of someone who wants you and loves you and who's willing to give everything for a relationship with you. And if he's already done that, and if he's already gone that far, why would he now stand at a distance from you, waiting for you to prove yourself? Of course he wouldn't. That's not who he is. And this is so important to understand. Because what you feel is not always what is true. The Bible even tells us this directly in Jeremiah 17:9. The heart is deceitful above all things. In other words, what we feel or perceive, what seems really true to us in the moment, it's not always reliable. I remember learning something years ago that has always stayed with me. A teacher of mine used to say, the map is not the territory. And what that means is that the way you experience something and interpret it, the way you feel it, is not always the full reality of what's actually there. Even from a scientific perspective, your brain is constantly filtering information. There's a part of the brain called the reticular activating system, RAS, that decides what you notice and what you don't. So you're always focusing on certain things and ignoring others, interpreting based on what you already believe. Which means that two people can be in the exact same situation and experience it completely differently. And it's the same here. If you believe deep down that God is distant or hard to please or disappointed in you, you will interpret your experiences through that lens. So that sense of distance or that feeling of being far from God is often just that a feeling, not a reflection of where God is, not a reflection of the truth. Because the truth is he has already come close through Jesus, through the cross, and through the fact that the veil was torn in the temple when Jesus was on that cross. And there is now nothing separating you from him. God has removed every barrier. So if there's a distance, it's not coming from him. And the moment you begin to see that, everything will change. So, this is the question that naturally comes up next. If God is near, then why does he feel so far? And there are a few reasons for this. Number one, we've learned to relate to God through performance. So when we're doing well, we feel closer. When we are consistent, when we are praying, when we are reading the word, we feel like, okay, I'm close to God right now. But the moment that slips, we feel like we've moved away. Like something has broken, like we've lost access. But nothing has actually changed on God's side. What's changed is how we feel about ourselves. And then we project that onto God. Number two, we're not aware of God's presence. Now, this is a big one. It's not that God is absent, it's that we are not aware of him sometimes. Because we're not used to walking with him in the ordinary moments of life. We've learned to think of God as someone who we go to at church, someone who we engage with when we're being good, or someone who's separate from our everyday decisions. So in our normal everyday life, we just operate on our own. We think, we decide, we carry things. And because we're not actively turning towards God, we don't experience Him. Not because He's not there, but because we are not engaging with Him. And over time, that lack of awareness, it starts to feel like distance. It's not God's absence, it's our lack of awareness. And number three, we've been taught to expect something dramatic whenever God is involved. This one is subtle, but it's really important. We've been taught to expect that closeness with God will feel obvious, big, emotional, and very clear. And you know what? Sometimes it is. Sometimes you do feel peace, sometimes you do feel clarity and a deep sense of calm, but not always in the way that you're expecting. Because God doesn't always come in dramatic ways. In 1 Kings chapter 19, when Elijah is listening for God, God is not in the wind, he is not in the earthquake, he is not in the fire. He comes in a still small voice. And that's often how God is present, real, near, but quiet. And if you are expecting something loud, you can miss what's actually there. Because quiet doesn't mean distant. And just because something doesn't feel intense, it doesn't mean nothing is happening. And I know this, not just because I've studied it, but because I've lived it. There was a season in my life where God felt very distant to me. And if I'm honest, my life in that season, it felt chaotic and confusing and directionless. I didn't have any clarity. I didn't have peace. I didn't feel like I had wisdom for the situations I was facing. And underneath all of that, I felt really alone. But what's really interesting is if you had asked me at that time, I would have totally said to you that I believed in God. I mean, after all, I grew up in a Christian home. I was going to church every Sunday. I had a healthy respect for God. I was in complete awe of him. But I didn't actually have a relationship with him. I wasn't reading the word, I was never talking to him. I was definitely not inviting him into my everyday life. And I remember so clearly watching my husband. He had a real relationship with God. He would talk about what he was reading and what God was showing him, the clarity he was getting. Man, I wanted that so badly. I wanted those moments of revelation. I wanted that closeness, that sense of connection. But instead of recognizing that I need to draw near to God, I just kept wanting what my husband had without actually stepping into the relationship that was producing it. And every time we talk about it, my husband and I, I'd feel really stirred up. My heart would burn and I would think, oh, I'm going to change this. I'm going to start. I'm going to wake up early tomorrow and read my Bible. And then I wouldn't do it. And that cycle, it would just repeat. And it's so easy to be in that place and think, what's wrong with me? Why can't I just be more consistent? And for some of us, it even goes a step further. We start to think, maybe God just doesn't want to do that with me. Maybe I'm not the kind of person. Maybe that is for people who are more spiritual, more special. I'd look at my husband and think, well, he's different. He's got something I don't have. That's why he experiences God like that. And without realizing it, I had created this idea that God gives closeness to some people, but not to me. When in reality, it wasn't that he was special, it was that he was close and I wasn't. And all it would have taken was for me to step closer, to actually come to God, to talk to him, to open his word, to ask. And I would have found that God was already there. But instead of recognizing that, I made assumptions about God. I thought my inadequacy was keeping God away from me. And in reality, I just wasn't in relationship with him. And if I'm really honest, there were even moments where I felt so frustrated, where I questioned, why was God feeling so distant? Why wasn't I experiencing what others were experiencing? The truth was, it wasn't God holding back from me. I wasn't coming close. Not because I didn't care about him, but because I didn't understand who he really was and how relationship with him actually works. And the moment I started to get that and started to change, the moment where I began to open his word, to talk to him, to invite him into my everyday life, things began to shift. Not instantly or dramatically, but steadily. God was not suddenly stepping close to me. I only just started to realize that he had been there all along. And this is what it really comes down to: a relationship with God. It's just that. It's a relationship. And if you think about any relationship in your life, take your friends, take family members. If you don't talk to someone and you don't spend time with them, if you don't get to know them, if you don't interact with them in real situations, you can't expect to feel close to them. You wouldn't expect to have a relationship. And it's the same with God. If we are not talking to him or spending time with him or getting to know him or inviting him into our everyday lives, then of course he's going to feel distant. Not because he is, but because relationship has not been built. And this is where I want to be really clear. I'm not saying to you to walk away thinking, okay, I need to do more. I need to be better. I need to fix this. That's not my point. Because this is not about performance. This is about connection. This is about turning towards him. It's about starting to include him in your actual life, in your thoughts, your decisions, your questions. It can be as simple as, God, I don't know what to do here. Lord, please help me understand this. God, I want to know you. And it's about opening your Bible, not just to tick a box, but to actually get to know who he is. Because here's the truth. The Bible is how we get to know God. Because he's not physically here standing in front of us. So we get to know him through what he's revealed about himself, through the stories in the Bible, through the way he speaks, through the way he responds to people, through what he says about himself. The Bible shows us what God is like: how God thinks, how he feels about us, how he moves in different situations. Without it, we are left guessing and we're building our own ideas about him based on our feelings, our assumptions, or what we've heard from others. But when you open the Bible, you actually start to meet God. And I think this is really important. Please don't just read it to find answers to your problems. Read it to discover who God is. Because as you get to know him, as you become familiar with his nature, As you begin to understand his heart, connection will start to form. And in that connection, clarity comes, peace comes, direction comes. Not because you chased answers, but because you came close. And it's these small, honest moments of connection over time that build relationship. And relationship is what creates closeness. So if you've been feeling far from God, I want you to hear this clearly. You are not far from Him. You haven't broken anything. You haven't disqualified yourself. God has not stepped away from you. He is still near. He has always been near. And nothing you've done or haven't done can change that. The distance you feel is not a sign that God has moved. It's an invitation to come close, to stop trying to earn it, and to simply step into it. Because God is not as far from you as you feel. And the next time you feel that distance, the next time you catch yourself thinking, why does God feel so far? Please don't assume separation. Please pause, turn to him and talk to him. Invite him in. Open his word. And don't do it out of pressure. Do it out of a desire to get to know him. And let that be your starting point. Because this is something we're going to keep unpacking together. There are so many quiet misunderstandings about God that we carry. And they affect how we relate to him. And in this season of the podcast, we're going to gently uncover them one by one. So if this episode resonated with you, please make sure to subscribe or follow the podcast so that you don't miss what's coming next. There's new episodes every week, and we uncover something new every week about God. And if you want to keep going with this, I would really encourage you to watch the episode called Why You Feel Stuck Even After All This Growth. Because it connects so closely to what we talked about today. Thank you so much for being here. Your presence here, your willingness to listen, to reflect, to grow, it matters more than you know. I am so glad you're here. I'll see you next week.