14. You Go to Church… But Do You Actually Know God?

You go to church… but do you actually know God personally?

Like, follow, and subscribe ➡️ https://www.youtube.com/@PrettyDeepPodcast

You can go to church, attend Bible study, listen to worship music, serve faithfully, and still feel far from God. 

In this episode of Pretty Deep, Petrina shares how to move from knowing about God to actually knowing God through His Word, prayer, and a slower, more intimate walk with Him. 

If you have ever wondered why God feels distant even though you are doing “all the right Christian things,” this conversation will help you rediscover what it means to build a real relationship with God.

In this video, you’ll learn:
 • Why proximity to Christian things is not the same as proximity to God
 • How grief, stillness, and Scripture helped Petrina truly know God personally
 • The difference between attending church and abiding with God
 • The one question that can change the way you read your Bible
 • How to pray Scripture back over your life and become more like Him
 • Why knowing God is slow, quiet, gradual, and deeply worth it

🕒 TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 – The glass panel between you and God
2:00 – Doing all the right things — and still missing Him
3:36 – The season that cracked everything open
8:36 – What "staying" actually looks like
13:10 – Four shifts that change everything
16:01 – The shift that changed everything for me
21:33 – A prayer for the woman who feels far

Watch This Next: Why You Still Don’t Read Your Bible Even Though You Want To ➡️  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DI2sHra--k
 
This episode is part of 'The God You Didn't Know' — a season of honest conversations about the misunderstandings about God that quietly shape our confidence, identity, and peace. 

Watch the full series here  ➡️  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuIjdmA2_b_OmBO6i6_R8hEsJrkRSXsGz

Products Mentioned in this video:
 • The One Question Bible Study Method ➡️  
https://plain-truth-76054.myflodesk.com/ojrmd5unb3

Subscribe to Pretty Deep Podcast ➡️ https://www.youtube.com/@PrettyDeepPodcast

Connect with me
 • Download The One Question Bible Study Method ➡️ [Download Link]
 • Subscribe to Pretty Deep Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/@PrettyDeepPodcast

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PrettyDeepPodcast
• Instagram: @PetrinaVerma

Question ➡️ Have you ever felt like you were doing all the “right” Christian things but still felt far from God?

Disclaimer: This video is not sponsored. There are no affiliate links included in this description.

#KnowGod #ChristianWomen #BibleStudy #PrettyDeepPodcast #FaithJourney

About:
 Welcome to Pretty Deep — a podcast for women who are done striving and ready to see God, and themselves, clearly. Each episode goes to the root of what women carry and explores what God actually says about identity, faith, healing, purpose, and spiritual growth.

DISCLAIMER: This video is not sponsored and does not contain affiliate links. Any resources mentioned are shared to support your personal faith journey and spiritual growth. This content is for encouragement and educational purposes and is not a substitute for pastoral care, counselling, therapy, or professional mental health support. Please seek appropriate support from trusted leaders or professionals where needed.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You go to church. You're in a women's group, maybe even a Bible study. You listen to worship music in your car. You've been to all the conferences and they light you up for a week and you're so excited about what you've learned. And then life comes back. And that feeling fades. You pray sometimes, mostly when things go wrong, and you're surrounded by Christians and Christian things. And yet there's this quiet, persistent sense that God is somehow far. Like there's a glass panel between you and the real thing. You hear other women talk about God like He is genuinely close, personal, real, like He shows up in their Tuesday mornings, not just their Sunday mornings. And you wonder what they have that you don't. Whether that kind of closeness, you know, the real, felt, intimate relationship with God, is available to everyone or only to certain kinds of people. Now you haven't said that out loud, but you've thought of it. If any of that is you, I need you to stay with me today. Because I've been exactly where you are for a long time. And I want to show you what changed. Hi, I'm Petrina, and this is the Pretty Deep Podcast. A podcast for women who are done striving and they are ready to see God and themselves clearly. Let's go. Now, here's something that nobody talks about clearly enough. You can be doing all the right things: going to church, serving on the roster, attending the Bible study, showing up in the small groups, going to conferences, and still not actually know God. You can be in the church and not know the God of the church. And I want to say this very gently because I'm not talking about anyone else. I am talking about me. For probably a decade or more of my Christian life, I was present in all the right places. I called myself a Christian without hesitation. I believed in God. I loved God in the way that I had always loved him. But if you'd asked me whether I actually knew him, you know, knew his character, his heart, the way he thinks, the way he feels, I would have had to be honest and say, definitely not the way that I do now. And here's the thing about this that makes it so easy to miss. It doesn't feel like a problem. When you're going to church and serving and showing up, you feel like you're doing all the right things. You feel so pious. You feel like a good Christian. And in many ways, you are. But there's a difference between doing Christian life and building a Christian relationship. There's a difference between surrounding yourself with God-adjacent things and actually drawing close to God Himself. And proximity to Christian things is not the same as proximity to God. So if you've been showing up faithfully and still feeling far, I want you to hear this. You haven't failed. You've just been looking for closeness in the wrong places. And today I want to show you where it actually lives. In 2016, my best friend passed away. Her name was Sharon, and she was like a sister to me. She was here one day, and within weeks she was gone. The grief was unlike anything I had experienced. There were days I just didn't want to get out of bed. Days where the sadness felt so heavy that I just didn't know what to do with it. And I did only what I knew. I ran to God. Not out of discipline, not because it was the Christian thing to do, but because I really had nowhere else to go. And in that season, you know, that raw, broken, desperately sad season, I sat with my Bible for hours. I talked to God like He was sitting in the room with me. I journaled, I wrote my prayers out, and I poured my heart out to him. Big drops of tears all over my books. And I stayed. And slowly, not dramatically or all at once, something began to shift. I began to know God, not just know about him, know him. His character started to become familiar to me. You know, the way he thinks, the way he responds, the way he loves. And God began to do something in that season that I really didn't expect. He taught me about identity and about purpose. He taught me about forgiveness and radical obedience, even when I didn't fully understand it. I just wanted to do it because I wanted to obey him and follow him because I loved him. A lot of old things that I had been carrying were healed in that season. Things that I didn't even know I was holding on to. And then COVID came. And if Sharon's death was the season that cracked me open, COVID was the season where something was built. Everything slowed down. The world stopped. And suddenly I had all this time. I would be in the word, reading, studying, sitting in worship, sometimes for hours at a time. And sometimes I felt guilty, like I should be doing something more productive. But I couldn't stop because I was discovering something. Every time I opened the word, I found God. And every time I found him, I loved him a little more. I have never been the same since that season. And you know what? I want that for you. Now, I want to say something important before we go any further. For me, none of this happened like a lightning bolt. There was no single dramatic moment where everything changed. No thunderclap, no one morning where I woke up and suddenly felt close to God. It was slow, quiet, gradual. And I want to name that because I think it's one of the reasons that so many women give up before they even get there. They'll sit with the word for a few days and they pray and feel like nothing is happening. The silence feels like absence. And they think maybe this just doesn't work for me. Maybe I'm not one of those people that God talks to. And they stop. Now, for some people, it does happen like a lightning bolt. You know, they have a sudden encounter or a moment where God becomes undeniably real to them. And you know what? That is beautiful, and I would never take that away. But for most of us, it happens slowly, layer by layer. One small encounter at a time. One passage that catches your attention. One prayer that feels just slightly like it lands somewhere. Or one moment of quiet where something shifts. And you might not even notice it's happening until one day you look back and realize that the person you are now is not the person that you were. So if you start this and nothing feels dramatic, please stay. Because God is so worth it. He is beautiful. He is faithful. And he comes through always. He will heal your heart. Things that you didn't even know needed healing. Old things, new things, things you've been carrying for years. And if you let him, God will build you up. He will grow you and he will take you to new heights and new levels of fruitfulness, of knowledge of him, of knowing yourself as someone who is fully and completely known and loved by God. Honestly, it is so worth the staying. So let me show you what the staying actually looks like. Because I think a lot of us have never been shown this properly. We've been told to read our Bibles and told to pray more. We've been told to spend time with God. But nobody sat us down and said, here is what you're actually looking for when you open the Bible. Here is the posture. Here is the question. Here is what changes when you approach it differently. So that's what I want to do right now. To start with, here's what I've discovered about the Bible it's not a rule book, it's not a list of things you should be doing better. It's not a spiritual discipline that you're failing at. It's the place where God makes Himself known to you. In John chapter 17, verse 3, it says this. And I want you to really hear it. That they know you, God, the only true God. Eternal life is not just about where you go when you die, it's about knowing God now, personally, intimately. And the Bible is the primary way God makes Himself knowable. Think about it this way. When you meet someone you're drawn to or someone you feel like you want to know more, what do you do? You spend time with them in different scenarios. Happy, sad, challenged, celebrating, annoying situations, beautiful ones. And with each one, you get to know them a little bit better. You see how they respond when things go wrong. You see how they respond when things go well. You see what makes them laugh. You see what makes them sad, you see what they care about, you see how they treat people, you see how they handle difficult situations, and you see how they handle scenarios that need creativity, for example. You see how they act when they are disappointed and heartbroken, and you see how they handle success. And slowly, over time, they become real to you. Not just a person you've heard about, but a person you actually know. The Bible works the same way because the Bible is full of God in real situations. So you'll see God happy and celebrating with his people. You'll see God sad and heartbroken that the ones that he loved have turned away from him. You'll even see God angry. You know, there's the story of Jesus overturning the tables in the temple because the house of prayer had become something else. We see God creative, speaking the universe into existence out of nothing. We see God in the tension, the Israelites trapped between the Egyptian army and the Red Sea, with nowhere to go. And then we see him give them a victory that nobody could have imagined. We see God rejoicing over his people with singing. The Bible shows us how God thinks, how he loves, how he feels towards us, how he acts when his people are in trouble. It shows us God being just and kind and merciful. And it doesn't show this to us as abstract qualities. It shows it in moments, in stories, in real situations that we can actually feel. And this is what happens when you read it that way. God stops being someone in the sky that people tell you you should love, and he becomes someone you actually love. Because now you know him for yourself. He is real to you. He's not a concept or a doctrine, he's a person. And you know what? He is the most compelling, most wonderful, altogether lovely person you will ever encounter. I promise. It becomes impossible not to fall in love with him when you actually see who God is. So, how do you get there? Not through a reading plan that you'll abandon by February, not through discipline or more guilt, but through four small shifts that can change everything. Shift number one, from attending to abiding. Church is beautiful and community is essential. Conferences, wonderful, but none of them are a substitute for personal time with God. Church can tell you about God, but the word lets you know him for yourself. There's a big difference between hearing someone else's story of God and having your own. You need your own story, and your own story only happens in your own time with him. Shift number two, to go from discipline to desire. Now, stop reading the Bible to tick a box. Stop trying to get through a certain number of chapters. And please stop reading because you feel guilty when you don't. Instead, start reading to discover who God is. Change the question. Don't ask, how much should I read today? Instead, ask, what does this show me about who you are, God? That one question, it'll change everything. Because now you're not performing, you're actually pursuing God. Shift number three: go from talking to listening. Most of us have been praying like it's a monologue. We come with our list, we say our piece, and we go. But prayer, it's a conversation. And conversations require staying long enough to listen. This week, after you bring God what you need to bring him, please just stay. Don't rush to close. Don't fill the silence. Just stay and let God respond. Now, I have to be honest with you here, because this is something I'm still learning. My busy brain really struggles with being still and silent. I want to keep talking. I want to keep bringing God my list. As if he doesn't already know every single thing on it. As if God needs me to fill him in. But I'm determined. This year I've made a decision. I'm going to become a prayer champion. Not a perfect one, a persistent one. Because I genuinely believe that the woman who learns to listen, who stays quiet long enough to hear from God, is the one who will walk with steadiness and a certainty that the rest of us can see from across the room. You know what? I want that. And I know that you do too. So we learn together. Let's be surprised by what we hear in the quiet. Shift number four. Let's go from reading to becoming. When you discover something about God in the word, pray it back over yourself. If you read in the word that God is kind, ask him, Lord, would you please make me kinder? If you see that he is merciful, ask him to make you more merciful. And if you encounter his forgiveness, ask him to make you less judgmental and more forgiving. Because the goal of knowing God is to become more like him. And here is a question I want you to sit with. If the word is not changing you, you know, not transforming you, stretching you, growing you, are you even really in it? Because that is what the word does. That is what it's designed to do. We all want to be like the people we admire most. When you spend time with someone you love and respect, you start to pick up their ways. You repeat their phrases, you share their values, you have the same way of seeing the world. This happens naturally because admiration leads to imitation. And as you read the word and discover the beautiful God of the Word, something happens. You become enamored of him. You see how he loves and you want to love like that. You see how he forgives and you want to forgive like that. You see how he sees people. The overlooked, the broken, the ones everyone else walked past. And you want to see people like that too. You want to do the things he does. You want to think the way he thinks, and you want to love the way he loves. And praying these things back over yourself, God make me more like you in this. That is the transformation by the renewing of your mind. From Romans 12:2. It's not willpower, it's not self-improvement, it's becoming. And here is the most extraordinary thing. God is already doing this work in you. From the moment you gave your heart to him, he began a work he will not abandon. Philippians 1, verse 6 promises this. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. The Holy Spirit is sealed within you, constantly working, constantly shaping, taking even your mistakes and turning them into lessons that make you more Christ-like. Take heart. You are not alone in this. You never were. Your job is not to perform transformation. Your job is to stay close enough to the one who makes it happen. So, here is what I want you to do this week. Not a reading plan, not 30 chapters, not even a new Bible app. Just this. Before you open your Bible, pause and pray something like this. Lord, come and show yourself to me. Please reveal what you want me to learn today. Open up the deep things in your word. Show me something new. Transform me, Lord, by what I am about to read. This ensures that you go in prepped. Go in hungry. Go in expecting God to show up. Because you know what? He will. Now, open your Bible. Any passage, it doesn't matter where. Read it slowly. Don't rush. Stay longer than you think you need to. And ask one question. What does this show me about who you are, God? Write down that one thing. Just one. And then pray it back over your life. That's it. That is where it starts. Not with a plan, not with discipline, with curiosity and with a question. With a willingness to stay. I promise you, if you do this consistently, God will become real to you. Maybe not all at once or in a dramatic lightning bolt. But slowly, surely, faithfully, the way he always does things. Layer by layer, encounter by encounter, until one day you realize he is no longer someone in the sky that other people tell you to love. He is someone you love because you know him for yourself and promise that will change things. I want to say one more thing before we go. If you've been in the church for years doing all the right things and still feeling far, please hear me. You have not failed. You are not disqualified. You have not missed your window. You just haven't found the right door yet. And the door is simpler than you think. It is one passage, one question, one honest conversation with the God who has been waiting patiently, lovingly, and without a single ounce of condemnation for you to come close to him. He is not far from you. He has never been far from you. James chapter 4, verse 8 says, draw near to God and He will draw near to you. He will meet you there. He always does. Can I pray with you? Father, for the woman listening to this right now, you know, the one who's been showing up faithfully and still wondering why you feel so far. Lord, I pray that today something shifts for her. Not dramatically, Lord, but truly. Father, give her a hunger for your word that she has never had before. Make yourself known to her in its pages, Lord. Let her see you, not as a concept or as a doctrine. But as the person you actually are. Lord, you are lovely. You are faithful. You are kind. You are generous. You are merciful. You are constant. And Lord, you are always close. Would you become so real to her, Lord, that she cannot help but fall in love with you? Because that is what you have always wanted, Lord. Not her performance, not her perfect attendance, just her heart. Lord, we thank you and we ask this all in the name of your precious Son Jesus. Amen. If this helped you see something differently, I would love for you to like it and subscribe. Because every week on Pretty Deep, we do exactly this. We go to the root of the things that women carry and we find what God actually says about them. And I have something for you: a free one-page resource called the One Question Bible study method. It walks you through exactly what we talked about today. How to open your Bible, what to ask, and how to pray what you find in the pages back over your life. The link will be in the description, so go and grab it. All you need to do is give me your email so I can send it to you. Now, if you want to go even deeper on this, I'd love for you to watch this episode that I'll link below. It's about why you still don't read your Bible, even though you want to. It goes perfectly hand in hand with today's conversation. Thank you so much for being here. I feel so grateful that you chose to spend your time with me. I'll see you in the next one. Much love.