Dopamine Ditch: What I Learned After Deleting Social Media for 60 Hours

I deleted social apps for a weekend and watched focus, calm, and creativity return. In this episode we explore dopamine spikes and ditches, ADHD, hormones, and why real freedom might mean being offline by design. More moments we explore:

• dopamine-driven feeds and the attention ditch
• ADHD novelty seeking and focus trade-offs
• pre-smartphone routines vs modern overload
• a weekend detox experiment and results
• nervous system calm and body awareness
• productivity without pressure and longform reading
• redefining freedom beyond constant availability
• boundaries, second phone, and app-free windows
• starting small: micro-detox and accountability
• simplifying communication channels for sanity

Enjoyed this episode? Come tag me and say hi on Instagram to let me know: https://instagram.com/cjdimmock

Transcript

Repulsed By Reinstalling Social Apps

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I'm noticing hesitation to even put the apps back on my phone because there's something that if I can describe this feeling that I have right now, the only thing that I can really name it as is feeling repulsed by it. I just spent the entire weekend without social media apps on my phone. I deleted them Friday night, and this is the first time I think I've ever done that. Now, in general, I've gone through phases where I barely look at my phone at all. Sometimes I forget where my phone is. I can be incredibly present, and especially in the summer when I'm out gardening and all this, I don't really have a problem with it. But I've noticed that as social media content becomes more dopamine fueled, every single thing is engineered to get attention. And I know this better than most folks given the industry I work in. I work in digital advertising. So I know just how engineered everything has become to hook your attention and then to try to retain your attention. And everything out there is just that next hit of dopamine and even the way that the algorithms are engineered now, it's all for that. I mean, if you were to go onto Instagram and you go to your homepage, and on the top left corner, there's a drop-down there, and you can choose to just have your feed be those that you're following. And it's in chronological order how it used to be. And if you scroll through that, I guarantee you you're gonna get bored quick. You're gonna get bored quick because it's just every post from everybody you follow, and not everything on there is engineered as much as the stuff that makes it to the explore page or the suggested content is. So I had noticed this fall when I was getting back into social media after being quite offline through the summer, I was starting to actually feel the dependency on my phone and social media to a point where sometimes I would bring my phone into the friggin' shower with me. And so for me, this was a signal of like, hey, things are not going well in this regard. I know a lot about dopamine and how it affects everything in our lives. I mean, I have ADHD, so I'm just naturally going to be more of a novelty seeker in general, searching for that dopamine. My brain almost relies on it so that I can focus. It's the same reason why, if I am having a hard time focusing, I'll grab like a crunchy, salty snack. I know really well how my brain works and what it responds to. And so I also know that when I'm fueling it with things that are giving me that dopamine, I'm creating a dopamine ditch on the other side of it. Whenever we have a dopamine spike, there's always a ditch on the other side. And that ditch on the other side makes it really difficult to focus. And I think it was about a month ago I had an epiphany almost. I grew up in a household that is very likely completely neurodivergent. I was thinking, considering this, my parents seemed to be able to get stuff done. They seemed to be able to take care of the laundry or keep the house relatively organized or give us dinner at the same time every day. Like there was definitely a lot of routine. And I used to almost just chalk it up to the fact that I came from a military family. Like both my parents were in the military, so I thought, okay, like this is just habit, they're regimented, whatever. But then I look at myself and most of the parents that I know today, and people are really struggling to get things done, and they're just feeling overwhelmed, even if they are getting things done. And I started to think, how is it that my parents seem to just be able to get things done? It's not that things weren't difficult at times, I'm sure they were, and I know they were, but it just seemed to have a different flow to it. And immediately I hear my own voice in my head going, Well, there was no cell phones, there was no social media. And it made me really wonder about the almost constant dopamine ditches that we are creating by spending so much time on these platforms that are so highly engineered to grab and retain our attention. And again, I work in this space, I know about it, I know the processes in the brain that you have to almost turn on and trigger in order to keep somebody's attention. I teach this shit. But the reality is that over the long term, we are not meant to be consuming this amount of information and certainly not in this way either. So I start to wonder, what would my focus level be like? What would my life feel like if I was taking more time away from social? But I know that for me, it couldn't just be like, okay, I'm just gonna limit myself to one hour a day. And keep in mind, too, I'm mostly on social media for work, right? I'm mostly on there to answer messages, engage, that kind of thing. I knew that I would have to have a period where I'm kind of completely off. That's just how I work. I am so wired for novelty seeking that for me, sometimes it really does have to be all or nothing. So this past weekend, I did an entire weekend where I deleted social media apps for my phone. And actually, a couple people from my mastermind did this too because it was a topic of discussion in a recent call. And overall, I just was really curious to see what would happen. And here's what happened. So, first of all, Friday night, I noticed that the anticipation of having to delete the apps from my phone almost sent me into a bit of a mini FOMO spiral. I noticed that I started feeling like, okay, I gotta catch up on everything, I gotta see everything, I gotta see more and more and more. Like I was actually seeing the effect of what I had been noticing. It had spiked dramatically in these last couple of hours before I knew I would be deleting the apps off my phone. And I knew that that in and of itself, and feeling the intensity of that, was a signal that I needed to do this. So I deleted the apps Friday night. I woke up Saturday morning, and you know, my daughter was gone to her grandparents this weekend with her father. So I was a little bit nervous because normally when the house is a little bit quieter, that's what I reach for. I'm looking to check in and connect and see what's going on. So when I woke up Saturday and I get going for the day, normally I'm gonna cruise social media for a little bit. Like that's usually honestly how I'm kind of starting my day with my coffee. And what I found myself doing instead is I did still reach for my phone, which was fine, but I actually ended up looking up stuff in the news, and I went to I think it was The Guardian, and I actually just started reading real journalism like how we used to, and so I was still consuming, but I just noticed immediately where I'm looking to get my information is different, and specifically, I was actually looking for information about the Diddy trial because I had watched the documentary series on Netflix the night before, and it was funny because after I watched that, I was like, wow, I really shouldn't have planned to delete social media off my phone because I almost felt like I needed to talk to somebody about it. I felt this need to go see what everybody else is saying about it. But instead, I looked up news the next morning and then I found myself just consuming other articles on The Guardian, and it was nice, like actually reading long form content like that. The next thing I did is I noticed that I went through my photos. And as I'm looking through my photos, I start just looking at older memories of my daughter, and it was really lovely. And as I was doing that, I started organizing the photos just naturally, start putting them in folders that I'd set up, but I never really get around to organizing. So just naturally, I noticed immediately, even though I was on my phone, it was like I was just better able to start doing things naturally, like productive things. And I'm not the goal of this isn't necessarily to be more productive. It was just just to see how I behave, what choices I make. And so at first I was maybe a little disappointed in myself for being on my phone immediately. But then I realized, wow, how I interacted with my phone was actually quite different. And it felt like it was easy to put it down as well. As the day went on, I started to feel incredible. I'm not gonna lie. Overall, the whole weekend, and I still I'm sitting here recording this at 8 45 a.m. on Monday morning. Still don't have the apps back on my phone. And I don't know when I want to put them back on. And I feel like I have to for my business and for work. But after that initial phase Saturday morning, I ended up just feeling amazing. I mean, I ended up putting together a homemade gift for me and a couple friends are doing Secret Santa, and that felt really great using my hands and spending time to do something intentionally. And then after that, I actually started organizing my house. I don't know how many closets I organized this weekend, but I can't even begin to tell you how easy it felt just knowing that social media was not an option. And because I didn't create that dopamine spike in the morning, I wasn't fighting a dopamine ditch the rest of the day. And this is incredible. I'm unmedicated at the moment, too. I should specify this. I don't take ADHD medication at the moment. I actually went off of mine in the summer and I was on it for two years previous. And so for me to come out of this weekend, having I completely reorganized one of my closets, went through my of my daughter's clothes, donated an entire bag, found nearly a whole box of old diapers, drove that to a neighbor to give it to them. I completely organized my daughter's dresser drawers, which she was so happy about. Everything's so much easier to find. Oh, and I wrapped like 20 Christmas presents. I'm so ahead on Christmas prep right now, it's not even funny. Like it's December 8th, and I feel good. Like I have a handle on things. And I also rested a lot. I mean, I'm still, I don't know if you can hear it in my voice, but I was sick like over three weeks ago, and I'm still kind of recovering from it. So I did also lay low and rest as well. All in all, I'm just honestly amazed. And things felt easier. Life feels easier for me without social media. Just straight up. It just does. And it's really got me thinking, what do I want this to look like going forward? And I think because of how great it felt, I felt like I was in a meditative state all damn weekend. I think I'm gonna do this every weekend, and I might even take it further. I'm actually considering getting a second phone and not having social media on my main phone, and I think I might also delete my email too, and then just having a work phone that's just for business hours, and of course I can access these things on my laptop when I need to, but it felt that good. It really felt that good. My brain felt lighter, felt more spacious, like I could hear myself think, and like every task didn't require this monumental hurdle, and it's really got me thinking, I do. I have ADHD, right? So this is all ebbs and flows. I should also say, I think I ovulated this weekend. So, you know, if you are a menstruating human, you know that when you're ovulating, you do tend to feel creative and you tend to feel your best. So I am going to keep that in mind and see because next weekend I will be in my luteal phase. So let's see how this goes in my luteal phase because that is typically when my ADHD symptoms really peak. My luteal phase can feel really, really, really tough for struggle. So as much as I am super excited about how this weekend went, I also do want to consider the hormonal aspect. And we'll see. We'll see how I feel. And it might even feel harder these coming weekends because I do know that when I'm in my luteal phase, I become even more novelty-seeking. So we'll see how it goes. But I just, yeah, everything felt easier and my nervous system felt more calm. I felt more in tune with my body too. Like I have this habit of clenching my pelvic floor muscles ever since I had my daughter, and there's all kinds of stuff underneath that, I'm sure. But I was even able to just notice a lot easier this weekend when I was clenching my body and I was able to release it. Whereas when I'm on social, sometimes I'm clenched like the entire time and I don't notice until hours later. I actually think I was parts of my bodies were clenched for years, to be honest. But anyway, that's that's another story for another time. I also felt so much more creative. I was able to come up with solutions for things so much easier. And again, like I don't know how much of this is being off social and how much of it is just being in my ovulation phase of my cycle, but there's really something here. And I'm not saying that I don't have ADHD. I mean, I do have ADHD that's diagnosed, that's for sure. I've had symptoms ever since I was a kid. That's been present. But I will say that I do think that social media addiction almost, I mean, I think we can call it that. I think most of us are in that, whether we want to admit it or not. And maybe addiction isn't the right word, but I think the way that it affects our neurotransmitters, I think it's valid. I think that that worsens symptoms for sure. I absolutely think that creating these dopamine spikes and ditches is not doing us any favors. And so the other thing I noticed is feeling like, oh, well, what if somebody is trying to get a hold of me because they want to have a sales conversation? I have a lot of sales conversations in my DMs. I try really hard not to have them on the weekends. But again, like part of that in business, like it's exciting for me. I want to talk to people about how I can help them. I want to help them figure out if it's the right one. So I did have a couple of thoughts through the weekend, being like, oh, I wonder if anybody's trying to have a conversation with me about that. And then I was like, Kaylee, it's the weekend and like you're not on social. And I think we really need to get away from this notion of expecting everybody to be connected all the time. It's absolutely ridiculous. I mean, think about how we live, think about our biology, think about what is actually natural for human beings. And let me tell you, this ain't it. It's not expecting people to be tied to a device 24-7. That is not natural. And it's certainly not natural for us to be on there consuming 24-7 either. Right? All of this goes against our nature. So we can't be surprised when the effects are detrimental. And I think that we really need to stop expecting everything to be instant in in our lives, because that's not how it's supposed to work. Nothing is supposed to be instant, to be honest. So yeah, I think this is all just a really, a really great reminder of this. And now that it's 8 52 on Monday morning, I'm noticing hesitation to even put the apps back on my phone because there's something that if I can describe this feeling that I have right now, the only thing that I can really name it as is feeling repulsed by it. That feels extreme, but that is if I'm trying to name this feeling that I feel in my body right now, that's what it is. There's a really big resistance because I think I can recognize how healthy it was for me to take this time away. And I understand there's a lot of people who I work with who are like, oh, I'm not really on social media. And these are business owners, and I used to think, Oh, how can you not be on social media? Like the opportunity is huge. I get it though, because they know how beautiful life is without it as well. So yeah, and I think I will say too, I I do have the luxury, right? Like, I know how to run ads. I mean, even though I wasn't on social all weekend, my ads were running, people were still seeing me and my content. So I know that that makes a big difference for me too. And I'm very, I'm very grateful that I know how to do that, I will say. And I think that overall, having the choice to not be on social media, I talk about freedom a lot. I talk about building a business that gives you great income and freedom. Freedom isn't just, oh, you don't have to work for somebody else. Freedom isn't just, oh, I can go to a coffee shop at 12 p.m. on Wednesday or go play tennis or pickleball at 9 a.m. on a Friday. That's not just freedom. Freedom is also like, are you tied? Do you have to be tied to certain things? And one of those things I say is being online. Do you have to be online all the time? Because if you do, I don't think you have real freedom yet. Like I recognize what I did this weekend was actually proof. It was proof that I actually don't have to be online all the time. And again, especially because I can run ads. And that's helped me recognize I I do. Like I actually have so much freedom in my business. It's not even funny. I mean, aside from being able to do what I want, work with who I want and all this stuff, and the freedom that it gives me in my life to do the things that I want, I have freedom of where I need to show up. I have another episode coming up soon, actually, that I'm gonna be talking about from a marketing angle. This is one of the things I'll be talking about in there, is making sure you're not putting all your eggs in one basket and hopping onto the hot, trendy thing because that is a way against freedom in order to have freedom. And I make a really neat analogy there with the stock market, so you'll have to tune into that. But this is part of that, right? So, anyway, if you're listening and you're feeling like you're noticing that you're reaching for your phone all the time and it feels almost compulsive, like automated, like you may not even feel like you're in control of it anymore, or you may not feel like you're in control of when you stop scrolling. I would say try it. Just try it and do it with somebody. Ask somebody else if they want to do it too. Have a bit of a community around this. I might start doing it every weekend. And so if it's something that you do too, hit me up, let me know. Like I'm really curious to know who else is starting this. But you can start small too, right? So if you're somebody who's reaching for your phone every half an hour or more, then maybe you just want to start with an hour or two hours. Maybe you don't want to do the whole weekend. I know for me, I definitely have gone, you know, half a day pretty easily before, especially when I get distracted or focused on something. So for me, I knew I really had to do a full weekend in order to feel the deeper effect. But if that doesn't feel like something that you can handle right now or that your nervous system can handle, because maybe there's some fear that comes up around what you're gonna miss out on or opportunities or visibility or whatever it is, just start smaller. Just start smaller. I hope this has been helpful. I'll definitely keep you all updated. Maybe I'll do an update episode in a month or so, especially once I move through my entire menstrual cycle and see how things are affected by that, because I do think that that contributes if you are somebody who menstruates. And I'll also keep you posted on what I end up deciding to do about the phone because again, I really don't even want to put the apps back on my phone. I am gonna have to, but I do think I'm probably gonna order a phone that is just gonna be for work. So I'll have a phone that's just for work and that will have all my work apps on it, and then I'll know that okay, that phone gets locked away for the weekend, every weekend, and it gets locked away past a certain time on a weekday, and then I'll just have my main phone. And I think that's gonna feel really great. I also noticed I was texting a couple of people. I have a group chat with two of my friends. So one of the first things I did on Saturday morning is I messaged one of the friends, and I don't think they have each other's number yet, but we're all in a group chat on Instagram. So I was like, hey, do you mind if I start a group chat with us? Because I'm off of socials, and they were like, Oh, go ahead. And so it was also nice to just be keeping track of communication in one place. That's another thing I don't think people realize how ridiculous it is that you've got messenger DMs, you've got Instagram DMs, you've got text messages. Some people Got WhatsApp messages, all these different places. There's just so much beauty and simplification. I think we really need to get back to simplification. And the next episode that's going to come out too is all about stability in business. Especially if you find you're somebody who is chasing revenue spikes and that feels really good, but then it feels hard to sustain. You're gonna want to listen to this next episode, trust me. Alright, if this has been helpful, make sure that you rate this podcast. Share it with anybody who you think might find it helpful. And if you're on a platform that leaves comments, feel free to comment below. All right. So much love to you.