MARIA'S ROYAL CORNWALL FAIL!

🎙️ This week on The FarmHer Files: MARIA’S ROYAL CORNWALL FAIL 🤦‍♀️🚜

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Farma Files with your hosts, Abu and Maria. That took me for readers, and I'm so bad. Oh bless you, poor old Marie. You could tell we're not in the flow of it. Ah, what a day. I think we're actually started the last one saying that as well. Yeah, I think we're actually calmer than normal though, funny enough. The end of the day. Yeah. We started today a lot later than usual as well, didn't we? Yeah. Had a TB test. Then had a radio interview. Yeah. Obviously done my sheep and my children before that. Yeah. And then, well, what happened after that? Picked up a vax carpet cleaner from Facebook uh just giving page. Um so it was free, it was outside someone's house. And I said to Matthew, quick, go and get that, quick, go, go, go. It's like 15 minutes away from our house in like a uh town. So Matthew like strolled into the town in his highlights truck and he picked up this Vax carpet cleaner, and I thought to myself, something is definitely off here. Someone's put a carpet cleaner outside, it's a Vex. They're bloody bit Benny, aren't they? Ain't got an OnlyFans. I ain't got an OnlyFans exactly. Well no, you were the one picking up for free. Yeah. Um so I went and I thought today's the day I look into this vex. Today's the day I see if it's working or not. So I mixed up my own solution because if I could pay 40 bloody Kewid a pot for carpet cleaning solution, I better just hire someone in to do that instead. Jesus, 40 quid a pot of solution. No. So I made up my own solution. I put a bit of white vinegar in there, put a bit of hot water in there, put a bit of conditioner in there, not ha not hair conditioner, washing machine conditioner. And uh I put a little bit of uh soap in there too. And I thought, nah, I'm away. This smells absolutely beautiful. It's gonna clean my carpets, it's gonna be beautiful, beautiful, stunning. I put it in and my vax pissed everywhere. Like I'm talking waterfall. In fact, I'll send you the picture that you could put on the screen for our YouTube listeners for this vax appearing everywhere. Yeah. It turns out it needs a seal. Right. Not a like a seal, like an O-ring seal, but not an O-ring. It needs a flat seal. And that's where I finished. I'm gonna cut a tire up and see if I can make my own seal. Because at the rate of inflation at the minute, nah. Can I just start off by apologising to our listeners? What the fuck was that, mate? That was just explanation about this fact that I picked up. Is that the only accent you can do? Or is there like oh no, if I started something, Welsh? No, because I'm so shit at accents to the point where now I've done Australian or whatever that was, New Zealand. Welsh. I'll be stuck in it. Welsh. Give me a Welsh. Or do I just have to do it on my own? Because it's gonna be horrendous. I do like a Welsh. Who's Welsh? Because if I come out with it, I'll come out with like Scottish. Is that Scottish? Do you reckon that sounds a little bit Scottish? See, I can't do it. So you sound more Irish, I think. Yeah, see, I can't do it. I can't just pick one out. I'm actually a voice actor. Fucking hell! See, that doesn't that sounds like Bristol. Teaching you how to speak Valle's. No, I don't think I can, can you? No, I can't do accents. Irish? All I want to keep saying is can I? And it has nothing to do with anything you're asking. No. Irish. Petito. Oh, petito. Do that. That's all I can do. Oh. I love Sophie Bell's um softness in her accent. She's too calm. Too calm. I need quick pace. I still love her to bits, but I need quick pace content. Um quick pace, straight to the point. That's the content I love. Are you hinting right now because I can't get anything out? No, I'm just saying my favourite content is boom, boom, boom. Um, a what's clickbait, like a hook at the front start. Today we're going fishing and we're gonna find a oh no! Today we're looking for the eight-foot barracuda, the 32-foot barracuda. A boop. A boop. American. It is a great day to be American. No, that was my Donald Trump fashion, so it's not going well, is it? Jesus Lord. You're the one who's taking us down this road. Not even driving at this point. I'm more like a passenger. Could you I'd love to see you drunk. You'd have to see me drunk, you don't. I turn into Could you imagine say it or shot it? I'd say it oh. I would like to personally apologize to um everyone that saw me at Lash's Royal Cornwall. You're pissed. I was very pissed. Do I plan to do it again this Saturday? This Royal Cornwall Saturday? Saturday. This Saturday? This Saturday. My yearly drinking, I tend to only drink like once a year at the moment. Will you be coming to Royal Cornwall? If things are going as well as they are, maybe. Woo-hoo. Um you if you come with me on the Saturday, you can see me pissed, because that is where I plan to get pissed again. Lovely. Who's got the kids? Matthew takes him. He doesn't like going to Royal Cornwall on Saturday. Too busy. Cool. Yeah. Speaking of Royal Cornwall, do we want to get into this? Maria. How many sheep are you taking? How many sheep am I taking to Royal Cornwall? How many sheep do I have I planned to take to Royal Cornwall? I've planned to take six.

unknown 6:31

How many?

SPEAKER_00 6:32

How many am I taking? None. What happened? So you are aware that I'm not going to Royal Cornwall, but that's all you know at this point, isn't it? Yeah. So I went into Royal Cornwall, into their office, and I dropped off my forms, and I was like, here you go, I'm so excited. Um and now I've got you need to bear in mind throughout this story, I've got OCD. So when I've made a plan in my head and when someone said something to me, like that is what's happening in a foxball. Yeah, if it doesn't that doesn't happen, we've got problems. It's game over and I'm in mental breakdown mode and I don't know how to stop that. It's not something I can help. Yeah. Um, so like say if we had arranged to go out to the pub or something, and then you cancelled me the day, probably like the day of or the day before, that would really upset me, and I wouldn't mean for it to upset me. And you wish it when I cancelled the podcast. No, that didn't that didn't worry me as much. Because actually, you had more of a relaxing day because you have to say that. Um, yeah, it's when something's planned and then it doesn't happen. That really upsets me, it really throws me off guard, and I very easily go into this massive OCD spiral of I don't want to talk to anyone, don't want to do anything. Um, like a toddler meltdown. That's hard to explain it, but I really I don't want it to happen. It's just happening to me. Um anyway, so went into the showground. I was like, I'm so excited to turn this form in. Here we go. Oh no, we're going into an American accent now. Um, not intentional. Cornish, please. Thank you. And she looks at me, she was like, I'm so sorry, I'm gonna have to get the sheep steward down here. So she brought the sheep steward down from the top office. They've got lots of different offices in the area, and um she goes, Hi. You okay? And I was like, Yeah, I'm hoping to have my form in, but by the way, the last lady reacted, it looks like you're gonna upset me severely. And she went, I'm really sorry. For the first time ever, our entries have filled up and they filled up really, really fast. They've never had all of them fill up, especially at that rate before. Um how quickly were they open? Like, how long were they open? I done it two weeks after entries opened. Silly girl. There was two weeks left, three weeks left. Silly girl. I done it in the middle, if anything, I'd done it earlier rather than later. Silly girl. Why is that silly? They've never filled up before. I did mine to Courtney always says the valets at Great Yorkshire Show. Yeah. Gone within 20 minutes. Really? Yeah. Devon County I do within like the first week. Yep. Um, admittedly, one Ram Lamb I never got in purely because it was that late one that Hilda had. So anyway, I emailed them and they were like, because you don't need any more pen space, that's absolutely fine, because I'm not taking up any more room. Yeah. So they said that's fine. So I got that extra extra entry in. But yeah, they've they got shut early as well, Devon County. Yeah. But I believe it's because last year we had blue tongue and certain people couldn't travel because of that. Maybe. But then I was speaking to quite a few other people that do real corn. They were all like, What? They've closed early, there's no more space. Like they had never heard of it before. Yeah. Like this was a crazy thing that had happened. And I was like, Well, I never knew this either. Like, I didn't, there's no warning. No one said, like, get your entrance in soon. Um, and I said it to another borderless breeder, and she went, Bath and West one. You're joking. Bath and West One has been the only one that's given warning. And they've gone into the pig pens. Yeah. So they told me that they would get back to me this week. So it was actually yesterday as well. Um, yesterday was a great day. Um, she said she would get back to me to confirm whether anyone can give up some space or not. Um, she said no, there's no possibility. Um, but I had a young I had Matthew's godson who was gonna be one of our young handlers that we were gonna enter in. Um and he was gonna do it and he was so so excited because they Oh, so you've broken his heart! Yeah, I know. Um so they wouldn't do commercials either at Royal Cornwall. Um because there's I think I think this is me speculating, it's because there's so many pedigrees, there's no space for the commercials anymore. I think, but don't quote me on that. Um, so they used to enter their commercials every year, and then they stopped and Asher, he didn't get to show at Royal Cornwall, he's very upset about that. Um, and this year um they made comment when we when we were all having dinner together, and they said how Hen's upset that he doesn't get two young handlers. I was like, oh, amazing! I'm entering my sheep tomorrow. Like, do you want me to put hen in as my younger handler? And they're like, Yeah, asked him, he was so excited, and then I get the email back and it says you can't have your sheep there. Um, however, we really want to encourage the next generation of sheep farmers. I thought, as in like myself, yeah. Um, so we'll let our young handlers in, we'll send a message around. Well, it turns out Hen doesn't want to show anyone sheep that he doesn't know. Aww. Which is really cute. Um So you've broken his heart. I didn't intend to. My heart was broken. I cried. I cried a lot because, like I said, this is where you need to remember I've got OCD. And that was a rigid plan in my mind. That was not changing. Um, so the poor lady that was telling me, I was like, Yep, I shut off as soon as she said no. Like I said, like I couldn't look at her, otherwise tears were gonna fall from my eyes. And as I walked out, lots of tears fell from my eyes, and I really tried to cover them up. And I had to drive to the nearest car park and just go, oh, I'm really sad. I called Mafia and I was like, you never guess what. Yes, I'm really upset. No one told me entries go fast. Well, actually, no one knew entries weren't that fast. So, what other shows are you doing this year? Not quit. I'm doing every show in Cornwall. Tot next show? That's not in Cornwall, my love. Oh, I know. Two hours to get up here. I know. You could do Totteness Show. I'll help you on the show. I don't think there's a Border Leicester class. I think I might try Oak Hampton Show and I might try potentially Walls Rien District and potentially Oak Hampton has a valet class as well. They've got a border class as well. Are yours rare breeds? They're probably shown a lot more than a border, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah, so um borders are rare breeds and they're like fighting at the moment to get classes. Right. Because they're rare breeds to try and like build the numbers. Yeah. Um so yeah, I'm gonna try and go to Oki this show as well. Um, what's the other one I was gonna try and go to? Maybe I shouldn't say, maybe it will sell out, maybe that'll really upset me. Secret Halls Holesworthy District. Never been to anything like that. Um I've been a few times like as a drunken spectator. I like that. Very fun. Nice show.

unknown 13:22

Good.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

I've shown Catalog there before as well. Is there a what other call shows are? Um Liscard Show, Lanson Show, um What Launston? Lanson. Launchdon. Lansdon. It's a Cornish area. If any more uncornish people call it Launchon, I'm gonna kick you all out. It's Lanson. Cream or jam first. Jam first. No, I'm not doing it because No, you're doing it because you're Devon, Scottish. No, no, you're not. You're um Somerset. Somerset, yeah. No, but genuinely, which tastes better? Not just because you've been brought up that way. It's the same fucking ingredients. You genuinely. Yeah, but I think jam first. No. It's like when you have a sandwich. You have you give me a scon that doesn't have jam first, my hostie's gonna go wild. Okay, I look at it. Face closed. I look at it like you have the scon like you have bread, and then the cream like you have butter, and then jam like you would have jam on a jam sandwich. Cream is not butter. No, but that's the sequence you would have it in. You would never put the sweet stuff on and then the butter on top. But jam's more likely to like roll off if the cream's on. You what? Let me How badly do you make your scones? What? I'm actually a really good scon maker, a nice buttery scone. Yeah, but how are you layering it for your jam to fall off? Yeah, but if you put your cream on first, surely the cream creates a slippery surface for your jam to fall off. No? Anyway, case closed, jam first. Your points were What are your points? Jam first tastes better. Jam first is better. Jam first. Sure, there'll be a poll on Instagram the first day that we release this, if I remember, of which do we have first? Abby will give you a fiver if you put jam first. No, she won't. Case closed. She won't. Case close. She won't. Case closed. Do you want to leave? With my jam first gone, yes. Bug or off. Back to Cornwall. Have you ever had a pasty with um apple in it? Apple pasty. An apple. Maybe I've had a pork and apple one. No. I mean like a sweet pasty. No. Like a dessert pasty. Yummy, yummy, yummy. No. Almost like a pie, yummy. What's your what's your pasty of choice? Cornish pasty. OG, like. Yeah, OG Cornish pasty, yeah. Yeah. Nice bit of steak, nice bit of potato, nice bit of sweet, lots of pepper. Yeah. Do you have a favourite brand of pasty? I'm still in mourning from this event. I love an Aunt Avis pasty. Aunt Avis unfortunately decided she'd sell her pasty shop. Um, not to anyone that was going to carry on pasties, just like give up the lease kind of thing. Um, so I guess she didn't sell it at all. Um, she made the best peppery pasties. Like, I would travel miles for these pasties. How rude. I know. I wore black for weeks. So if anyone is travelling to Cornwall, where would you recommend? Nowhere, and Avis is gone. Malcolm Barnikutes is a good, like good one. Cornish maids in Camelford is good. Malcolm Barnicott's is like scattered all over Cornwall. Right. Uh I think there's one in Lanson. Launchdon. Lanson. Lanson. Do you live in Cornwall? So yes, no question. Jennifer in Cornwall. Fuck off. Carry on. Right, anyway, there's one in Lanson. Uh, I think there's one in Escade. I think there's one in lots of other places. Yep. Case closed. For look at your remote. Okay. No, I'm not, but you're attacking my culture. You're in a very Aggie mood. I think sarcastic. Aggie. Aggie. Grummed. Or what my favourite thing. Why is your face looking so cheeky right now? What you was my favourite thing to do? So if I'm in like a hype mood, and Scott is not, my favourite thing to do is so I came back from a Pilates class and I was like hyped, right? Came back, Scott was trying to do these nozzles on his new sprayer. And anyway, I was pissing him off. And he was like, oh, just whatever. And I was like, wow, someone's fighting. He hates it. Hates it. He's just like, go away. Go, wow. You're a pain in the fucking ass all over. He just knows it's my one, like, that's the one thing to get going. It just he knows then that I'm hyper. I you're just not talking sense to me. There's no no getting through. So then, like, he'll answer back with something and I just go, wow. He just knows, just sh just go quiet. Yeah, you're not gonna response. Any response is just ridiculous. Yeah, I can see that. Right, do you want to know what other shows I'm going to or are you over it? I was waiting. Well, you and you Lanson, Launchon, Lanson, Launceton, Lanson. That's what I'm going to deal with you from now on. McDick. Just to clarify for anyone, there is a girl called Baylin on TikTok. She has a TV programme. She has Tourette's. You're not meant to take the piss out of someone with Tourette's. I'm laughing with her, not at her. She might say it differently. Okay, sorry. Anyway. Why you always make me the bad guy? Right. Our little feline friend is going to be a little bit more. Feisty. Fasty. Shhh. It's okay. It's because you've had Coke. Coca-Cola. Correct everyone quite quickly, didn't you? There. But I almost uncorrected my colour. I know. I was like, crumbs. She's had Coca-Cola. It's got crazy. Do you know what? I've given her one of my donuts. Crackhead on sugar. You're the one meowing at me like a freaking cat. Right. Would you like me to show tell you the rest of the show? I'm waiting. Lanson, Liscard, Stythians, Camelford, um. Can we think of any others? I'm still waiting. Oh what are you waiting for? More shows. Waiting. Okay, I'm done. We'll just say that's it for now. Okay. Can't think of any others. Okay. Happy? So when are you sharing the sheep? Half of them are shared. Yeah. There's one show that is three days after another show, so I'm gonna have a different lot that I'm gonna share later on. Oh two groups. Two groups. Real peas. Bosch girl. Bosh girl. Just a girl that wants to like bosh every show out this year. So what lambs have we got this year? Uh we have the choice of a ram, a ram, a ram, a ram, a ram. And a ram. Oh sore subject? Lovely day. So subject. Lovely day. Cool. I had ten news. And I've still got some to lamb. Anyway, so um have you ever heard the expression, you know, when someone says, go fuck yourself? Where are you from, Somerset? Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Come on, tell me more about your you lambs. Going sounds like you want to talk about them. No, no, no, genuinely. I just I've been very lucky this year. I'm I'm not I'm not bragging. That smile says so different right now. We'll wait and see if it might get judged shit yet. I hope not. I hope you do well. You haven't seen him for a while. I haven't. I think it's raining. I think it's raining, otherwise I'd say we'll nip and see him on the way out. Yeah, I think it is raining. Take the older CF Moto out so you can crash it into me. Woo! Hold your horses. Can't help that the brakes didn't work, can we? Your big toe just stuck underneath it. How would I be pressing on the brakes and it not moving if my toes and hand move differently to your other feet?

unknown 22:28

Fucking out shit.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

I would like to retract my comment. Okay. Um yeah. Your big toe can move differently to your little toes. Maybe it just like I would like to clarify, I had no I did nothing wrong in that accident. Would you also like to clarify that you were wearing shoes? Your big toe did not get stuck underneath. I was wearing shoes. I was actually Was I wearing wellies at the time? Might have been wearing wellies. It's a very interesting conversation. It was only my knee that got bruised. Oh bless you. It's quite bad actually. Was it? Yeah. Black and blue? Was it? Really bad. Blame on it. Where there's a blame, there's a claim. Oh wait, no, it was your brakes. It still wasn't my fault. This is what I keep saying to everyone. Like, oh, they like they use horrible terms on like um it was your fault or something, or you were at you were at fault. No, I was not at fault. My vehicle was at fault, but me as a driver, I was not at fault. Brand new vehicle as well. What what have they said about it? I'm not gonna go into that. Can't say anything. I'm just leaving that as I don't really know where it's at because last I heard from insurance they wanted to take it further, and then I haven't heard back from them because we can't speak about it. Quad if I'm honest, that's up to the insurance on what they want to do with it. I've done everything from my part. The insurance want to take it further, that's on them. Yeah.

unknown 24:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Just when I never asked. I got my vehicle back, which is the main thing. Woo-hoo. Winner. Also. Oh no. What? My lawn mower's stuck. Abby's got a robot lawnmower, very fancy bancy. No, she's stuck. I would love a robot hoo for a lot robot lawnmower, but I've got a mess. No, she's gone too far. She's not in signal. Samuel definitely sit on this robot. Okay. I wouldn't let he go. So no, I don't think I'll get one. Might put my dog on it. Yeah, probably probably would be better behaved. He's not been well behaved at the minute. Reggie or Cooper? Cooper being a naughty boy and Cooper. He's naughty. He is. He's got really into his um beating phase to be fair. Like shooting beating. Yeah. If he has his nose on a pheasant, he is not stopping until he's pushed that pheasant on. Yeah. Um, and unfortunately for me, that is the whole field. He will not stop until every pheasant is cleared. That yesterday was a rape field. Oh, that was annoying. And his eyes probably hurt a lot now. No, he went too bad. It was just he was soaking wet. Yeah. But the thing is, like, I can't find him. He won't come back to his name. The pollen on rapeseed can um make them blind. Well, the boy was not coming back. They didn't want to have anything to do with it. Reggie came back straight away. Good boy. Good Reggie. Good Reggie. Good boy. Okay. Um, yeah, but Koopy, he's in his pheasant phase at the minute. Oh, that's great. Great if he was a shooting dog. But he's not. Because he's gunshy. Yeah. He's gun shy, so um that boy can't go shooting. Oh. And when I say gun shy, he is literally like crying and crawling up your legs, so like there's no chance of me ever taking him shooting. You need everyone to have a silencer on their gun. Could you imagine that? Bless it. No, he gets scared at like, you know, when like a bottle of like fizzy drink pops. Yeah. Over it. That makes him go. Also, I've got quarry near me, and when they like blast, that can set him off. Oh, that's irritating. He's a sensitive soul, isn't he? Yeah. He's very cute. Do you prefer Reggie or Cooper? Reggie's less fat. Well, they weren't quite fat, so. What did you just say? Reggie's less fat. He's actually not at the minute. Is he not? I thought he didn't look too bad. He's a bigger dog, though. He can hold it a bit better, maybe. Go on then. Guess how many kilos?

unknown 26:53

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

By the way, it's black black. 37. That wasn't bad, was it? No. But that's three kilos off. 37 kilos. He probably should be about like 32. Reckon? No, I I don't know. He's a lot of leg. Yes. I don't think you sit there and go, he's overweight. Between 32 and 34, maybe. Yeah, but you're not sat there going he's overweight. No, I'm not. Then I've got a collie and like collie should be like belly's right up and down. Yeah. Whereas you wouldn't expect that on a lab. We'd like to change foods for him because of his ear. Because we think his ear is actually an allergy. Oh. We're thinking. That's really interesting. Have they done have they? Yeah, they did a swab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And nothing. And um we're just trialling out changing food to see if it's an allergy. Have they sent the ear swab off to like a lab or have they only done it in-house? In-house. Maybe if the allergy doesn't clear up, ask if they can send it off. Yeah. Scott didn't appreciate the £120, just be told it's nothing.

unknown 27:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

And they didn't tell us it might be an allergy. They've just ignored that part. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. So um Scott probably told them to go fuck yourself. No, he paid it. The dog, not Scott. Yeah, thank you. Just to clarify to everyone. Yeah, Scott still has his balls. Good. At this present time. Because Scott's still got his balls. Yeah. Yeah. So when does show season start? For me, when the first show starts, I don't know. Which is. I could look on my phone. My phone's currently linked to this. Should I quickly have a look? Go on then. Right. Can I also mention that I didn't book Devon County because I was gonna do Raw Cornwall? Oh. Yeah, so I was really upset. Um my first show is 11th of July, Liscard Show. Oh, so quite a way off. Yeah, my next show is 13th of July, Stythian Show. Um, then the one after that that I may or may not go to is Waltery and District Show, which is the 27th of July, then we've got Lanson Show, which is the 30th of July, then we've got Oakhampton show, which is the 13th of August, Holesworthy and Stratton show, which is the 27th of August, and Camelford show, which is the 12th of August, and pretend potentially Chagford show. Don't have a date for that one. Mmm. Um yeah, so I didn't do Devon County because I thought I'd do Royal Cornwall instead. Oh yeah, so I was really upset, I was double upset. You still come and help me at Devon County. I'm just saying I don't need you. Does that make sense? Abby said she doesn't want me anymore. No, I just said I'm not in critical need of her helping. I've got all the showing under control, all the preps done like beforehand. I think if I help someone, I think I'd like it to be another border breeder. Well, I'm so I can get like full experience. Yeah, it it's not a full showing experience. You're not holding training, I mean you're not yeah, yeah. Um like I said, I've got quite I mean I'll happily help if you need help on the day. Well, like I said, bring the kids down or what have you, but I'd Yeah, there'd be no chance of me helping if I do that. I was gonna say, yeah, maybe not not bring them to the ring because Samuel would be in the ring. Samuel would be riding your sheep without any consent from anyone.

unknown 30:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Do you not teach your kids about consent? That sounds horrendous. Yeah, we should teach that they need consent. They should consent. Yes. Talking of I can say please and thank you, but I don't think I need to go through the consent talk at that age. Well, talking of kids and I don't like this subject. So I took Ottie to Red Post the other day. Red Post is an equine store. We need some boots for her to show at Devon County. Wanted some little dealer boots. Didn't find any in her size. Fine. We go to the restaurant. Claire is Claire, her grandmother, is still shopping, but we go to the restaurant, Miyanotti. Or cafe. Um she's colouring him. She's colouring in the shell bra from The Mermaid. She's oh I've coloured in her nipples pink. Nipples! Nipples really loud! No, it was just a bra. But she said nipples really loud as a four-year-old. Did it stress you out a little bit? Yeah, I said, Did your mum teach you that one? Because I am not mum. Everyone gets confused. Me like confuses me with her mum. Which is fair enough. Yeah. But um I mean even on mine thought. Actually, twice she shouted nipples in Red Post, and it was really quite embarrassing. Why didn't you go like one upper and go tits? Really loud. Could you imagine if she went to preschool shouting tits? And then she tried to explain to me that it was nipples because a bra has straps. Yeah. Well, Auntie Ottie, don't you know? Don't you know? So um had to give her a little chat about bras can have no straps. Oh bless her. She's so cute. Yeah. And um Claire was like, I often think about that video of her. Which don't you know? Don't you know? Don't you know? Which one was that? What was she doing? Um talking to Granny about was it a chicken coop? Or was it I don't know because I've only just told you about the chickens. I remember seeing the coop though. You showed me the coop last time. The chickens have been in the running for a while, haven't they? That is so cute. I got a bit distracted there. I can't remember what um don't you know was about. Don't you know, Granny? Or Nanny? I know, I can remember it, but I just can't remember what it was about. It was about her nan was sh is it Nan or Gran? Grandma, yeah. Grandma was um showing her the chicken coop and she was going, This is where the chickens are gonna stay. And when you come, you can come and help us collect the eggs. And then she was like, Oh, thank you so much, Grandma. I absolutely love it. What was the don't you? I think it was right at the end. Oh, I don't know. It's so cute, though. So many sassy comments at the minute. It lives rent-free in my head. So many sassy comments. She's just a sass queen, but do you know what? Her sister looks more sassy than her. Really? Already. It's quite scary. I have that I have got that problem with my two. Harriet already is like pushing Samuel over, is stealing his food. Like my two are like No, that is like steroids. Does Samuel do anything back or Samuel tends to go, Harriet? And then look at me and go, Mummy, Harriet naughty step. Oh that is the punishment, not how she got put on the naughty step. And no one, no one talks to you whilst you're on the naughty step. That is the worst, Samuel's worst fear, no one talking to him. Oh he doesn't like that. I say fear, like he's not scared of it. Did they have a nice party though? He won't care if you tell him off or anything like that. Did you have a nice party? Yeah, he loved it. Well, because attention was on him. No, because it was diggers. Oh. Diggers all over. He doesn't. So we sang happy birthday to him the day before, because it was his birthday the day before. Yes. And he kept like hovering his ears and going, no, no. So we whispered it. Because for a toddler, it can be really overstimulating. They're still trying to discover the world and everything else. And sometimes it can like just be a bit much for them. So we whispered it instead. And he liked that. That was okay. So like at his party, we were like, just let him play. We're not even gonna like try that. Yeah. Um, he loved it. He walked in, he went, Mummy! Thank you, diggers, and ran over to them. Um, yeah, so he absolutely loved it. Oh great time. Harriet um had all the silly goose. Yeah, one silly goose. She had all her like babysitting through friends, and she loved that. That was great. She had all her friends, climbing on everything. One of the um one of the mums made a comment going, How did you get her to do that? And she was just eating her food nicely without chucking her plate or anything. For a baby to not chuck her plate is a big thing. And I was like, give it five, like she'll be on it, she'll be ready to chuck that. About five minutes later, she took the plate and she literally went, Hold on, I'm gonna have to move my mic. Well, she literally took it up on herself. Took the plate and she poured it on her head. Oh, I said I told you, be five minutes. Oh, bless her. I say bless her because it's not my child, and I ain't got a clear out. That's quite funny. Yeah. I was saying to Abby earlier, like, since becoming a parent, like I was laid back before, but now I'm like even more laid back. Um, and that sort of thing does not bother me. Like, their children once they can make a mess as much as the first, or is it only because you've had two? No, the first I was probably more laid back than what I am now. Really? Yeah. I thought people get like more like anxious. No, I think I'm you can't keep to times. Yeah, no, I'm late to everything. Quite literally, late to everything. Um, so I try and leave the house like we're getting ready like an hour before we need to go, so it should be plenty enough time. Somehow along the way, someone takes 20 minutes away from my clock. Yeah, someone comes and just winds it. Yeah, I don't know what happens, but they do it to all clocks. Very irritating, ends up making me late. So whoever my time thief is, I would like to have a word with them. Oh. They give me a few back. So yeah, late to everything. It's great, really reliable. The choice of kids. I'm usually on time to this though, aren't I? Said I was leaving at 12, left at 12. Yeah, my location doesn't work anymore. We'll look into that. Yeah. That's very weird. So I couldn't actually see where you were what was going on. That's really weird. So it like I said, I didn't actually know you left on at 12 because you said you were gonna do your makeup and get ready and then drop the kids off. Yeah, so I left Matthews at 12. So Yeah, but I didn't in the dark. I didn't actually know. I know you said you were aiming to leave at 12. That does not mean you've left at 12. That is they're usually I'm pretty spot on when I'm leaving, aren't they? Yeah. As a rule. Anything could go wrong with the kids, so I didn't fully know that you'd left. So I was like, I'm gonna guess she's gonna be here around now, but hopefully she'll turn up one day. Yeah, because you messaged me on my way up, my phone was in my bum pocket the whole time. I was driving, so sometimes sometimes you may stop in a lay by and reply. So yeah, yeah, I've never done that. So yeah, I was hoping for a reply, got no reply. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'll work on that. Should try harder. I'll stop in a lay by next time. You better do. Better do. If you see my name come up, stop. You were in my bum pocket, didn't see very much, couldn't feel very much. What a phrase. In your bum. Abby Coombs in my bum pocket.

unknown 38:16

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

I pulled into a film the other day. You were hanging from their wing mirror of their tractor. I'd like to say that my air freshener, not just me hanging. Oh yeah, that sounds bad, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Yeah. Abby's air freshener was hanging from their inside mirror. You're very excited. I was a picture. I was in the middle of dealing with some foot rot at the time. Were you? Yeah. No. Lovely. Joyful day. Um so yeah, I decided I sent you a picture like that with like blue hands, didn't you? Yeah, all of your hands. Yeah. Yeah, it was a great day. I did think that yummy. Yum. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't yummy, but it needed to be done. So yeah. Woohoo. So how many sheep are you taking to Tottenhs before we end this episode? I don't know. I haven't entered Tottenh yet. You haven't done it yet? No. How many are you taking to Devon County? Seven. Seven. I've pulled two out. Got any U lambs you're taking with you to Devon County? Yeah. Oh, that must be really nice. I've got no Ulams. It was a follow-on, you know? Well, how many how many sheep are you taking to Rocomo? None? Right? Fasty! Anyway, on that note, we're gonna get to the sponsor of today, and that sponsor today is the farmer files! If you didn't watch last week's episode, you'll know Abby failed on sponsors. I have one job. Uh actually, I didn't just have one job, that's uh absolutely prior to the podcast. One job. Not my expertise, okay? Anyway, on that note, if you want some merch, you know where to go. Farmhofiles.com. I'll leave the link in the bios. Should we do a little discount this week? Sponsor 15. 15% off everything. Seven days only. And actually, no, this comes out Monday. The discount code will finish on the Sunday at midnight. Okay, perfect. Get it while you can. 15% off everything. Sponsor 15. I'll leave it in the bio. Yes, actually they are perfect. Ciao. Bye for now. For now. Bye for now.