ABI IS QUITTING ONLYFANS!

🎙️ This week on The FarmHer Files: ABI IS QUITTING ONLYFANS?! 👀🔥

Yep… you read that right.

This week, we’re talking about the question 'what would Abi actually do if she quit OnlyFans?' From the realities of content creation to life outside social media, we dive into the possibilities and whether she could ever really walk away from it all.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Pharmafiles with your hosts Abby and Maria.

SPEAKER_01 0:21

Welcome back to another episode. Woohoo! So we've got a bit of a fun one this week. Excited. This one's a little bit different. Abby is quitting OnlyFans and she needs a new job. Surprise! No Abby has not quit OnlyFans. Um, but basically we were having a discussion about what would I have done if I didn't do OnlyFans. So this became a bit of a conversation between me and Maria. Um, and we thought we'd throw it out there as to the different professions that I could do. I think we're about to work out why you are self-employed. Yeah, I don't think I could go back employed. Yeah, well, I'm gonna I've got a few jobs in there that are gonna be employed jobs. So should we talk about my background as to how I got to where I am today, you know? The the I don't I don't even know what my talents are actually. Um no, not even gonna answer that one actually. Um, so college trained as florist, did my level two, level three. Um, you have to start on level two. It's part of the thing, like you have to learn the basics and then go up. So I did that for two years. Um, I did that as a business. Um I then went into rehabilitation care. That then kind of took a turn for when COVID hit, I was rehabilitation. Um, and then once obviously COVID hit, I went into pretty much any sort of care just because they were trying to chuck everyone out of hospital. So anyone that came out of hospital, I was there. Um that was a job and a half. Left that because my granddad needed care. And I was like, hold on, why am I doing this if I can't even care for my granddad? Um, so then went into admin to in the care sector. I was all doing this while I had OnlyFans, um, had businesses, now got sheep. That's where we are. Done some photography as well. Yep. All well rounded.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Okay. So is there anything you've ever wanted to do that you've never pursued and tried out?

SPEAKER_01 2:42

I think going down the social media route were like not as in me social media as in like doing somebody else's like business social media. Social media managing. Yeah, yeah, that that's always something that's always tickled me fancy.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

But it's that I have done that quite a few times before for different businesses.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Yeah, and but it takes up so much time and I can barely cope with my own social media, let alone somebody else's.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

I think that's why it's very difficult when the client has a really good idea on what they want, but it's not the style they've employed you for.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

So I had one person before that I had to let go because I was like, Look, if you're not gonna give me creative free reign and you're gonna keep insisting that I do what you think is gonna be best for you, then it's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

You can't give the results somebody else expects with their content ideas because I don't want to be rude. That was that's the whole point you're employing someone because they're good at what you do, so you need to let them have free reign. Not there just to hold a camera. No, because you may as well just do it your bloody self.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Whereas I've done I've done about three or four businesses now, and I always get them to a point where I'm like, right, do you understand what you need now? Yeah. And then I let them do it, and out of those, all of them are still going.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

So yeah, so no, I've never really had like a dream job. I don't think I've ever had a dream job. Never. Other than being Eddie Thingy's Julia Eddie Sober, older, yeah. No, do you know what also came up? Um, I actually wanted to be the dance walk-on girl. Okay, you know the little walk-on dancers that would do their thing. Yeah, I wanted to be that like 11 years old. No wonder I turned into a whore. Surprise, surprise. An online one, not in person. Um, yeah, it's pretty well expected that I turned out the way I did. So yeah. Um, funny enough, I wanted to do that as well. Obviously, never did. Um I did some boxing VIP stuff. Like, I just have the most rogue-like situations. Your C V would be yeah, these things are yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

So when you said you did some boxing stuff, like as in you walked on in some No, no, no, that's Ring Girl.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Did like I don't even know really what I was employed to do. Um she'd done a job and she still doesn't know what the job was. No, I I just think it was like hosting and taking people to their tables and okay. So like a um host. Yeah. Like front of house kind of thing. Yeah, a bit of a hospitality. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

That's what I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Yeah. Did that once or twice. That was fine. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

So my first proposal to you would be flower grower and florist. Are we over the florist era?

SPEAKER_01 5:45

No. I like my garden and what have you, but this year I've taken a real step back. I just need to take a chill pill. I need to step back and not have the responsibilities of it this year. Um I'm gonna be honest, I can be good, I go in waves of it. Okay, so it don't feel so your greenhouse flowers are gonna die. S this year they would. Yeah. Okay. Right, so florist and flower grower and vegetable grower and everything. Maybe some years, maybe not others. Okay, that's not gonna be a reliable business. No, you can't have I might grow your wedding flowers next year, I might not. I'll see how I feel. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna work out. You never know. No, I do miss I love the floristry, but I think people do actually forget that in the busy times it's fucking awful. Like, I was getting up at four o'clock in the morning to go to Bristol um to go to the wholesalers, and then you're doing that, you're stripping like constantly wet hands in the freezing cold, because all the busy times were like Christmas Valentine's and Mother's Day, which were all the freezing cold times, yeah. Pricked with bloody rose thorns, and yeah. You don't get the flowers delivered to you. Yeah, but you had to like a wholesaler, it's just easier to go up there and pick out your flowers and get more control over what you definitely, definitely. And like sometimes you just have to pick up a little bit extra. We're still the closest place. It was when I was summer. Yeah, I suppose, yeah. Yeah. Okay, right, so floristry over that. I think that I enjoy it is fun, but I think as a business it's a lot of work. For make to make it a business is a lot of hard work. You've got to do the weddings, and I don't like the stress of a wedding. Love a funeral. Uh personally, I hate going to funerals, but funeral flowers I loved. I suppose you're bringing you're literally bringing the magic to the day. Oh my god, like a wedding day, you've got so much going on, like the the flowers are like the least of your worries in like people you say thank you to. Whereas when it's a funeral, that's the main thing that literally is like the only decoration other than and the only thing you're left with, yeah. Like that's the only thing there after the day's done.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Um I think flowers are really beautiful because they keep you in the present, like they remind you that tomorrow's kind of not promised.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Yeah, so and like if they had something in mind and you bring that to life, it's yeah, really special. A lot more special. And like I did I did my grand both my grand, yeah, both my granddad's funeral flowers. I didn't do my grand's purely because I come out of it at that point and it was way too much for me. But I had um one of the girls that I went to college with, she did them in the end, so that was quite nice because she knew my style and what she liked, and I could talk her through what I wanted, and then you got everything like perfectly.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Oh, that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

So little things like that, nice, but as a business, no.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

Okay, how about so I'm stepping away from the employed route because we all know you're not wanting to be employed by anyone.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Okay, what about owning a coffee shop or a cafe or a restaurant? Customer service isn't great. Really? Lack in it. I would never have guessed. Oh fuck off. I'm a bit too direct, yeah, abrupt. You don't like your coffee, fucking have it. Oh sorry, do you want me to make you another one? See, you have an inside voice.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

My inside voice is my outside voice.

unknown 9:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Sometimes I can't be mean to somebody, and then sometimes it just comes out without thinking.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

I'm not arguing. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

But you know, you know, I'm never gonna say anything behind your back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

I like the brutal honesty though. I get on with the people better that are gonna tell me up front and make me guess.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

Yeah. Like you'll come to me and go, what do you think? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

And you know what I'm gonna say it. If I'm ready for brutal honesty, I message Abby and I go, This is the situation, this is what's happened, where am I standing?

SPEAKER_01 10:12

And I'll tell you. You will. And then you go, beautiful. Thank you. And you'll come back to you later. Come out with an idea for the podcast. Don't like it. And you go, but what if no, don't like it? That's pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Also, there has been quite a few times where you'll say you don't like something, then like like when we first started the pod, and then like today you brought up some of the ideas, and I was like, okay, we're moving.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Um tell everyone all our secrets. Um, no, that bit out. Yeah. No, I can beep it out. I can beep it out so you guys don't hear our little secrets for the upcoming podcast stuff. Um, but but there is stuff coming. Two months' time is gonna be so exciting. It's gonna be the big I don't want to say rebrand.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

It's not a rebrand.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

It's a beeping uh uh, you're not knowing nothing. You're not knowing nothing. It's just very exciting, it's been a long time in the making, and yes. Yeah, I can't say anymore because I'll give it away. Yeah, no, unfortunately, my customer service isn't up to scratch for a coffee shop. I'd love one. And what about baking but not being customer front? Yes. Until there's tears because something's gone wrong. I feel baking I'd be like the one on bake off that like something falls over. Too much pressure. I do like baking, but I just I'd never You wouldn't want to do it every morning. I don't I've I've never really thought about baking improperly. Okay. So maybe that's what I'm saying. I would also I would also eat a lot of what I baked. Would you?

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Yeah. You have to taste it before you.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

I would have to do big bakes, like a big three-tier cake. Yeah. So you could have one tier. No. I was gonna say, so then you can't eat any of it, but like if there were cupcakes, I'd make extra for myself. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So gotta be a bit careful on that. So all right, so is that possibility. Okay. Possibility, okay. In the possible basket. What about an auctioneer? Ooh, I don't think I can talk fast enough. Go on, give us a go. No, no, no, no, no. Sell me. No, no, I can't. I can't. Can you do it? Go on. I genuinely can't. Give me a description on it. You don't have to be fast. Not all auctioneers are fast. I can do the description, I can't do the bidding. Okay, go on, give it a go. Come on. We've got to be able to rule it out properly. Here we have a beautiful white farm her files mug quality half pint mug. Would everybody give me tenpe, tenpe, tenpe, ten pound, five pound, five pound, five pounds, six pounds, six pound, no, no, five pound for the lady over there in the pink top. Beautiful. I thought that was good. Beautiful. Right, sign me up. You think auctioneer is something you could pursue? No. No, no, no. I probably think I wouldn't know if someone's chatting me up or winking at me for a bid. Okay, so that probably comes under the same agreement as sales agent, like estate agent kind of thing. Well, I'd love to be an estate agent. Yeah. Oh my god. That was the best part about the care job. You could go around people's houses and you would like, well, not nosy. Selling their houses behind their back. No, no, no, but you could it's nice to be nosy, do you know?

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Like, no, like you would go to some lovely houses, you would go to some shit else, but because when I see farms for sale or houses for sale, I think, oh, I just love a little tour around. And I guess I'm attempt just to book a viewing. Why don't you?

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Unfortunately, last time I did that, I ended up buying the house. Yeah, that's what I'm scared of. But if you go for something so out of your price range, you'd be really upset. I'll go home and I'll be like, I can't afford it. But that's fine, because you really can't. Yeah, but then I feel like I'll be stubbing my own foot on purpose. I stupidly went and looked at a house that I could afford. It was not really in the price range. But I've done it anyway. And moved house a year after buying a house. What? Done it anyway. Um, estate agent, do you think you could do that job? You'd have to deal with people's demands. Yeah, but I think that's much more like you try and figure out what they want, and it's a bit you have to would you evaluate as well with estate agents? Oh, I try my best. I do spend a lot of time on right move. Oh, so you might be I might be quite good at that. Okay, so that's possible pile or definite pile. Possible pile. Possible. Actually, I'll go that in the definite pile. I'd like to like that.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

You'd consider that job. Yeah. Right, perfect. Okay, what about a mechanic? No. No? That's I feel like that needs no explaining. That was a solid no.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

No.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

If I'd done anything else, I think it would be in the mechanics room.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Really?

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

But I would want I I don't want What sort of mechanic? Car, tractor?

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Tractor, and it would have to be older engines that you could sort out with like a spanner.

SPEAKER_01 15:51

So not like technical.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Yeah. Like, do I really want to put a computer onto something? Probably not.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Oh. That's quite handy. What to not want to put a computer onto something. There was a joke there that I'm trying to telepathically tell you. Okay. Like there's a job available somewhere. There actually is. She's now got the joke. Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Um okay, so mechanics out of the question for you.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

Well, out the door. Two in the no-pile, one in the maybe, one in the definite. Um mechanical skills was whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Okay, fashion designer. I feel like you wouldn't have enough patience for it. I'd feel like you would want the finished product now.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

I can have an eye for something, and I'd like to give an opinion, but I don't think long term it's like a everyone goes to me, oh well I don't need to do this like fashion business or clothing or underwear or what have you. And I was like, I it's just not me. Yeah? Okay, definitely no. Or maybe would never rule it out.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

We'll go maybe then.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Okay. Yeah? It would have to be for the absolute right thing.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Yeah, you I would have to create something that is like so incredibly needed. I couldn't go I don't know. I couldn't do it without a good reason. Okay. Perfect. I couldn't go generic, just country clothing. Yeah, I get that.

unknown 17:35

I get that.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Um dog trainer. Ooh. Patience.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

No, okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Patience. Have you seen how well trained my dogs are?

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Alright, let's put put it in definite no.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Oh! My dog is very good at herding up sheep, thank you. When you asked for them herded up? Yeah. Yeah? Cooper's an angel. Okay, do you want it in the maybe pile? No, it's a definite no. My dogs are well trained. So you just agreed with everything I said. Yeah, but I tried to defend myself slightly. But when how did that pay off? Yeah, not well. Reggie's an angel. Reggie is an angel. Cooper's just a little menace. But I feel that is a cutest menace, but menace. But I do feel that's not down to my training fully. Mm-hmm. Maybe a bit more training was needed. But I do feel there is some responsibility in his personality. Okay, alright. I'll let you let you off. But look how skinny he's gotten. He's keeping up his. I didn't see him today. Oh. Oh, he's at home on his own today. Reggie got in the tractor. Gone in the sprayer. Oh, go on, Reggie. Going in the rogue. He loves it in his new seat. Oh that's cool. It's like in a combine, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's quite happy. Okay. Tractor driver. I wouldn't like the hours.

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

Definite no or maybe? Odd day. Here and there. Unreliable tractor driver. Well done. Alright, that'll be in the definite of the maybe. Maybe. When is suits? Alright. Customers' phone up. Can you help with that? No, it.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Maybe next week. It's raining next week. Yeah, maybe next week.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Yeah, sounds perfect. I'll do it then because I don't have to come. Um, no, but like if Scott was like, look, can you just sit on the tractor and go rolling? I go.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

If I remember rightly, in one of our early, early episodes, we said there was was there a disaster when rolling or was that something else?

SPEAKER_01 19:40

With me? Yeah. No, I've only What was it there was a disaster with? What that I went into a wall? Yeah. Oh, that was when I was 12.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

Oh, alright, you've forgiven.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

That's fine. No, no.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Like that was just learning.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

Yeah, no, that was just my dad didn't tell me where the brakes was when I was 12. Yeah. We all drive into a wall here and there. Yeah, no, just when I asked Dad where's the brakes, he didn't hear me. His fault.

unknown 20:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

So no, like Scott made me go, made me. He asked me to go rolling one year because he was really desperate. I was like, yeah, fine. I'll go. Was fine. I could do because it was such a big field, because it was like 50 acres. Yeah. I could do my phone stuff while I was GPS. Fantastic. Yeah. So it was great. I could still work while working. Work while working. So I'll take the easy jobs when I can go on GPS. Okay. So maybe. Maybe. Alright. That's fine. Only easy jobs and depends on what day. You want to drive a tractor without driving a tractor, basically.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

You only want to do it when it suits. Correct. I would really like to pick that up and put it in the no pile. Maybe. Okay, we'll keep it in the maybe. AI. Not as in artificial intelligence as in artificial insemination.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Um it does always intrigue me. The only thing I'd say not that there's blood like it's quite in terms of a job, it's quite a clean job. No, there's no blood, but I've never been good with gross stuff.

unknown 21:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

But then lambing. Lambing's Yeah. There's more blood lambing. There's not much blood with AI. No, I just don't like gross things. So I wouldn't say no. You made that sound really savage. Yeah. Like I can't watch certain things on the telly if it's gross.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Okay, so that's a no or a maybe?

SPEAKER_01 21:39

A maybe because it's a bit gross, but not bloody. Managing someone else's OnlyFans. I'd love to. Yeah? Yeah. Definite? Hit me up. Hit me up. If you want your OnlyFans managed, if you want to start OnlyFans, message me. What about setting up an OnlyFans training course?

SPEAKER_00 22:04

One that you like pre-film and put out. If you don't want to do that, you should probably delete that so no one else uses that idea.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

No, I people out there do it, it's not a problem. But I don't think you can do that as a set product. Okay. If you're in a niche, you need to go to your niche, you need to What if you do niche agriculture? Yeah, but do that as a course. You may as well start their OnlyFans forum. You might as well help them take the photos, show them what's best, what's best content-wise. Only I can give that as suggestions, and it depends on what type of person they are, depends on whether they're tractor drivers, livestock, what have you. It's very personal thing. I don't think you could do that as a set like. So you would consider is that in the definite or maybe par for management management.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

Definitely. Definitely. I could okay. So what how we got in there at the moment? We've got management and we've got our forgotten what it is now.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

State agent. Did we do social media?

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Or did we just I haven't? I just presumed you already did it.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

Would you do social media influencing without any tits and ass?

SPEAKER_01 23:17

I don't know. Would I get the likes? I think I think you've got an eye for what's content. I think I really struggle with I can take other people's content just when it's your own, it's a lot harder. So maybe maybe. Maybe. Maybe that surprises me that one. Um right, let's go out. I don't know whether brands would work with me. Why? Because Yeah, but we're saying you've never done ODFs. Oh, oh yeah. Okay then. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I don't know whether I would have thought we should do it as a diversification from Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't know whether I would have ever fallen into social media had it not been.

unknown 23:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

I think most people that have fallen into social media have done it accidentally.

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Yeah. Like mine was because of the Grant for content then, it just rolled on from that. I mean, I was doing it before. But nobody went, I'm going to be an influencer. Yeah, I was sharing it before because of lockdown. It made me feel connected to people. Yeah, no, I wouldn't have done social media if it wasn't for needing to promote my OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

So I don't know. I don't actually know on that one. Okay, we'll pop it in maybe. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

What about cameraman? But for a film crew. Like I'm talking three million pound piece of equipment on like a big forward and backstand kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

For a film or a porno.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

A film, Abby.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

Sorry to anyone watching out there with kids. Um can't see why not. Yeah, you'd give that a go. Only problem is I was gonna say I would have to travel. I wasn't gonna say travel. I was gonna say your producer will tell you to go again and again and again if they don't like it. Yeah, but like I said, I would have an eye for like what works and what doesn't. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I think that's a very out there one. I I've never thought about. Never thought about it. What about costume for films and programmes? Ken, that's a very rogue. That's a broad. We're talking strictly or Game of Thrones. I really feel like that job can take you anywhere. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

I feel like once you're into one, like say you got a job with a locally filmed one, like um what was it called? The Three Musketeers that got filmed. Is it the Three Musketeers? What the hell are you on about? A film got filmed locally in Cornwall.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

I'm not gonna know that then, am I? I was gonna give you the rundown before I went for it. Martin Clunes or whatever it is. Yeah, Dr. Martin. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

So what if you got into it with Dr. Martin and then someone within that crew also is working on pole dark. And then they go, hey, could you help with poll dark?

SPEAKER_01 26:02

And that pole dark leads you to a one of the things. I don't think, sure. Correct me if I'm wrong, people, and I'm not sure whether these people listen to our podcasts. You must fall into that job. Surely you don't go out there to go, I'm going to be a I a lot of them get training.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

I know this because I've had to go into hair and makeup and done up for the likes of Doc Martin.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Where where do you even start with that sort of job?

SPEAKER_00 26:27

I think it is a train up one or a who you know job.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Yeah, who you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

But then every job can be a who-you know job. True. And you really, really think about it. I mean, obviously a lot of it takes training, but in order to get in and get into the place where you need the training, it's a lot of it is who you know.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

I think it's also just making sure you've got that eye for certain things. Yes. Next one. What about someone who preps sheep for other people for shows? Ooh.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

Now I'm not just talking about valets.

SPEAKER_01 26:59

I mean, you could specialise in the valets if you want to, but I'm talking like general. I think it would take you a lot of places, different shows. Yeah, you would get a lot of connections. Obviously, at the minute, I would struggle with the travel. The only thing I'd struggle with is the pressure, but oh my god, wouldn't it feel good if they did well? Yes. I think correct me if I'm wrong. You can look at it two different ways. Valets, I think, can be harder because you've got six months worth of fleece that you need to get perfect. A commercial is shorn. You you don't need the wool to be perfect. I know there is a certain amount, but what I'm saying is you've got a lot of wool to sort, which can be not fixed. Like you can't then again you've got the You can't hide you can hide a lot with a lot of wool, but you can't hide a lot with it shit. You can look at it two different ways. Once it's grown out though, you can trim it to a certain extent that it covers floors. That's what I'm saying, but you can't with a valet. You can't if you've got a massive mat or it's stained a certain colour, or you've got a whole bush stuck in there, you're screwed. Whereas you don't have that with a commercial sheet, but like I said, you you can any other breed, yeah. Yeah, one sorry, I should probably just say meaty breed. Yeah. Sorry. Anything other than a valet, a meaty breed. Um yeah, so that's the only thing I'd say. Sometimes I think valets are harder because you've got so much more prep. I know it's not you have the halter training to do. Sometimes it is just getting their diet right and what have you. Whereas I'm here like dematting a fringe for an hour and a half that I could really do without. Whereas you don't have that as much with a meaty breed.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Anyway, back to what that went really off tangent.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Would you do it?

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Maybe yes, no. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

Definite.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

Yeah. Like I said, not currently at this point in time. But it's definitely a consideration.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Yeah. Okay. Um, what about a carpenter? No. No? Definite no. Are you thinking like any handyman job, like any trade job is a no? Pretty much.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

Yeah, full no. That covers quite a bit. Yeah, I I would give it a go. Maybe. I can't say it would work out well.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

All handyman jobs into no.

SPEAKER_01 29:48

All jobs or into maybe. It's probably just easier to say no. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. I would usually give it a go and then it would end up shit, and then you'd still gotta get the person out that needed to fix it in the first place. So yeah. Post mud too much walking. Yeah, I suppose even the ones that drive cars have to catch my dogs. Oh, and then it's when it's in the freezing cold and then the pissing rain, and then I'd be too hot on a really hot day. No. Lifeguard. Not the greatest swimmer.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

Oh, there's a lot of no's on there.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Yeah, I'm I'm o I could swim if I needed to, but I'm not guard. No. I was gonna suggest ambulance, but you don't like blood and gore, so that's definitely no. God, no, I can't fire brigade covers that a lot. Too anxious. They go to a lot of um head-offs. Yeah, I could get a cat out of a tree, but that's about it. Yeah, I could not do that one. I could do the rest, but I couldn't do that one. Oh, not a big, big tree though.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

I couldn't do the cat thing. You don't like cats? Cats scare me. Wow. That sounded like a cat then. Stop pissing me up. Um yeah, unless I know the cat, cats make me very anxious because they're so I just I can't remember.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Yeah. I was like, there was a cat up at the stables the other the other day. Macy and Larissa will tell you this. Um I it was just a cat. And anyway, it was friendly, so I was like stroking it, went to pick it up, and it was not friendly. In the end, it just hissed at me. Yeah. Put it down, stroked it anyway, and I literally turned round to leave, and it just went and I was like, ah! So yeah, that's what I mean. How did you know it was gonna be mean? I didn't, and then I ran. Yeah, so I don't like their unpredictability.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Oh. Cows, sheep, dogs, I can read what they're gonna do before they do it. Not a cat. No, not a cat. Not a cat at all. Dog groomer. I feel like the fact you're not liking having to get out of the muds in your valets might not be the job for you. No, no, no, because you just Are you just gonna shave it? I don't think that's what you can do in a lot of cans.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Um I do Coopers. Yeah. I think you just shave Cooper though, don't you? Yeah. That's part of the job. Yeah. Um I got bit by a dog once. I didn't like it. Okay, so that's no, or maybe. Fucking beagle. No. Or it's a not nice situation. I got infected. Oh, nasty. Did you get your tetanus jab?

SPEAKER_00 32:39

No, so I have a bad one, you're meant to get it topped up, or are you young enough?

SPEAKER_01 32:43

No, so this was COVID.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

So I was in funny enough, I had the weekend off, just taking it off as annual leave because I needed to use some annual leave up. And they they rang me and was like, any chance you could do a shift for some like a different team? I was like, oh, whatever, yeah, fine. Um wasn't like I needed it off, sort of thing, because they were so desperate they could not get anyone to cover the calls, and obviously, I don't want to leave somebody without visits. Yeah. So then went, did this whole visit with somebody, their dogs were there, fine, was talking about the fact I was looking between a beagle and a cockespaniel at the time, and he was like, I've got rescue beagles, love them. And anyway, like I said, they were there, they were fine. Before you got Cooper, yeah, yeah. This was literally like a couple months before Cooper. Was walking out of the house and went through the kitchen, and I was literally saying goodbye, turned round to walk out the door, and I felt this dog what I thought jumped up at me. I thought it was claws, and I just was like, nah, something didn't feel right there. Something didn't feel right, so it was literally just under my butt cheek. So I left their house and had to pull up in this random street because I was like, Well, I can't pull my trousers up enough to see. So I had to pull my trousers down in my car and look, and I was like, oh my god, I've been bitten. So it went through my trousers and the skin. It wasn't like awful, awful, but it was bad enough. So I rang up and I was like, Well, what's next step here? Like, what do I do? And they were like, Well, you're gonna have to go to hospital because it's protocol, what have you. So anyway, went and they just iodined it and what have you, didn't jab anything, and then a couple days later I had the worst sickness you've ever seen. They put me on antibiotics and god, yeah. But anyway, they got my calls covered, and then they were like, Hold on, if they could have covered my calls anyway, why did I need to be in? So that was quite an uproar.

unknown 34:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

So anyway, not not anyone else.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

You were the cover for that other one, weren't you?

SPEAKER_01 34:59

So yeah, dogs were a a nice dog.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

Alright, so no to grooming. You'd have to deal with the bad ones. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Yeah. They wouldn't be happy.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Because they'll be the ones that owners can't do themselves.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

No, they're in an unfamiliar situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

They won't be happy. Yeah. Okay. So no. Right, I have got another one.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Casino.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Ooh. The only thing I wouldn't like would be the hours.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

Very um unsociable hours.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:39

But I could I could. I'd probably be betting my money, but yeah. Maybe. The only problem also we have I live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere. Where are we going?

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Make your own.

SPEAKER_01 35:56

Okay. Oh, or a farming casino. Oh. Or the farming.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

Farm yard casino.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

Yeah. Oh, I like it. Coom's casino. Look at that. There we go. Branded. Let's go. You guys, yeah. Yeah. We could do a bit of bit of poker. Yeah?

unknown 36:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Dentist.

SPEAKER_00 36:15

I feel like you would dental nurse? No. No. Veterinary nurse. No. Vet no. Too much blood and guts, sorry. Yeah. Um, right. We've gone through tradies, we're not liking those. We don't want anything with blood and guts. No, we we rule out a lot here. Events manager. Ooh. I friggin' love planning an event.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

I wouldn't like a budget though.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

Wouldn't want a budget. With a budget. Okay. So we'll put that into the note.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

Just know my wedding will be the most precise, engineered event of your life. I feel like you've got to lay back a bit with a wedding though. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Otherwise, you're going to be so concerned on what is happening. It's alright. I've been anyway. It's not gonna happen. So tense that things aren't going to plan or they know what's coming next and everything.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

But I'm gonna be like it anyway. I'm gonna be an anxious mess anyway, so may as well make it a good party for everyone else.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

That's so funny. You can have a little casino that I've been to another wedding that had a casino, it was really good fun.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

No, I don't have Abby's Quiet Corner. Abby's quiet corner. I said we joked about that at my wedding. Did you have one?

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Before um it, I was like, where's my quiet corner gonna be? I don't know. I'm getting home for a nap.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

Yeah, literally. You guys can party on. I'm going for a nap. I ain't joking. If you want me up at six o'clock for hair and makeup, I'm having a nap.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Yeah, I do blame you.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

I'm a nap queen. Although you'll probably be that excited, you won't be able to.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

No, the day goes so fast.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Yeah, I don't think I'll struggle.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

Okay, right. So anyway, aside from wedding, events manager. Yeah. I'm talking like kids' birthdays, um, bridal showers. Yeah. Yeah?

SPEAKER_01 38:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

You'd do it.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yah. Yah.

SPEAKER_00 38:20

Yah okay. But we would struggle with a budget, so maybe we need like a budget manager as well. Or would you plan if you're gonna buy and yeah, I think I could do it if I'm a homemade queen when it comes to events.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

But if you're an events manager, you need to work out your time.

SPEAKER_00 38:43

You do indeed. But I would be up at like one in the morning continuing on.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

But that's not a profitable business, Maria.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

No, and that was exactly why I should not do it. There you go. Right, so that's a definite or a maybe? Definite. Definite. Okay, so we've got estate agents, we've got only fans manager, and we have got events manager.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Was there one other?

SPEAKER_00 39:10

Probably is a sheep. Or was that a that was a maybe, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01 39:15

Yeah, I think that's a good one. Was that a definite? Yeah, that was a yeah. Yeah? Okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

So you've got quite a few there to pick from. Four. Which one would you be your top one out of those ones?

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Do you love be uh do you love being a nosy estate agent? That'll be your top goate. Yeah. I don't know, I never went for it actually. It's quite a you job. I feel like you do really well at it. Yeah. I don't know why. When I was thinking of the ideas, estate agent came like top of my list. No, I like that. Yeah? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

Alright, so any estate agents hiring, don't bother, Abby will probably do it as self-employed.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

Yeah. Yeah. Um, if you need me, hit me up. I could do the photos, I could do the little drone footage. Oh my god, it's I don't think you've got time though. No. I haven't at the minute, no. No. You looked really upset. I haven't at the minute. Oh happy. I've got no time. Got no time for nothing. Gotta edit this podcast.

SPEAKER_00 40:28

No time for nothing. No. Double negative though, is technically you've got time for something.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

If you pay me as well as OnlyFans does, I can do whatever you want, love. I can quit it, but it's not going to.

SPEAKER_00 40:40

Oh, what about Nail Tech? One last one. No. No. Too fiddly. Too fiddly, not artsy farty. No. Alright, okay, perfect. So Abby is going to be an estate agent.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

Woo! Thank you. OnlyFans are a state agent. OnlyFans gives you more freedom, though. Alright, so Abby is not gonna be a state agent.

unknown 41:02

Woo!

SPEAKER_01 41:04

So if you guys have enjoyed this, we're gonna throw it back to Maria another day in a couple of months' time, I think. Um, and we're gonna say if Maria wasn't a farmer, a farmer and a mother, what would she do? I'll keep the mother roll. I like that one a lot. Okay, part-time, what would she do? Alright, perfect. Right. If you guys have got any suggestions for Maria's job role, let us know. And we will catch you all next week for another episode.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

Before we go, don't forget to check out our website, the farmaphiles.com, to see what merch we've got available.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

Everything is back restocked now, so get it while you can. Alright, bye for now. Bye.