S2E35 - Growing Up with Deanna: Brandy Guzman's Memories of Friendship and Loss

In this episode of Tragedy: A True Crime Podcast, we sit down with Brandy Guzman, a childhood friend of Deanna Merryfield, to remember what life was like growing up in Killeen, Texas, during the early 1990s. Brandy shares memories of a close-knit group of friends, the sense of freedom they enjoyed as kids, and how her family's move to a different neighborhood changed the course of her life.

She also reflects on the devastating moment she learned that Deanna had disappeared—a piece of news that forever changed the way she remembered her childhood. Through Brandy's firsthand recollections, listeners gain a deeper understanding of who Deanna was before she became a missing person's case and why those who knew her continue to seek answers more than three decades later.

This conversation is a heartfelt reminder that behind every unsolved case is a real person, lifelong friendships, and a community still searching for the truth.

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

In Tragedy, a true crime podcast, we discuss missing persons' cases, violent crime, and other sensitive topics that may be difficult for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Our show is a place where every story matters and every voice deserves to be heard. To support this podcast, you can subscribe at www.tragedy a true crime podcast.com for early access to new episodes. And join our Facebook community, Tragedy, a True Crime Podcast, for updates, discussions, and ways to support the families we feature. Welcome to Tragedy, a True Crime Podcast. I'm Elisa.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

And I'm Michael.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Today we're joined by Brandy Guzman, who grew up as Deanna Merrifield's neighbor and childhood friend and knew her during the years before she disappeared from Killeen, Texas in 1990. To understand Deanna's story, it also helps to understand the community she grew up in. During the 1980s and early 90s, Colleen was a city shaped by the presence of Fort Hood, with families frequently coming and going, neighborhoods filled with military and civilian life, and a community experiencing steady growth and change. In our conversation, Brandy shares what she remembers about Deanna as a young person, the friendships, personality, and moments that stood out, as well as what life looked like growing up in Calleen during that time. We'll also talk about what it was like for those around her when Deanna suddenly vanished, and how the loss of a teenager left questions that still remain decades later. More than three decades later, Deanna's story continues to matter, not only because of the unanswered questions, but because of the life she was living before everything changed. Brandy, thank you for joining us and welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Thank you for having me. I'm really excited about to share my memories of my childhood with Deanna and her family. And when I was asked, I was like, no doubt, I will definitely, because it was it played a big part in my life.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

We really appreciate you um being willing to come on and we are very interested in learning from you. So before we talk about what happened in 1990 with Deanna, help us understand your connection to her and what your relationship was like growing up as neighbors and friends.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

I originally, we well, my family, we had moved uh right next door. And right away, uh, we kind of all just clicked. My mom had a lot of kids. My mom had seven kids, and there was a bunch of kids next door. And just from the very beginning, they were just so friendly to us. Becky, the twins, Becky and Deanna. Missy was a quiet one. They just I had a little sister and we were only a year apart, so we were kind of like twins. Um, so we just right away everybody just kind of like clicked together. We were really young at the time. I remember being really I was like kindergarten, first grade, second grade. I remember thinking to myself, we finally got in a decent neighborhood, you know, because it was a really rough time at those times, you know, moving and moving, and we had finally gotten a house, a really nice house next door to uh a bunch of cool, I think a bunch of cool white kids.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

That makes sense, like really sweet white kids. Yeah. You uh made me think about something actually I haven't really thought about in a very long time when I think I was in first grade and we moved from one city to another. Um, and the house that we moved into at that time, we actually stayed in almost until I graduated. And one house away was the person who became like my best friend um during elementary school and middle school and high school. And uh that thank you for sharing that memory because that's something I haven't really thought about in a long time. And these are the kinds of people that it doesn't matter if you don't speak to them for years and years and years, but you can get on the phone with them and it's it's like you never had that break. So it's really interesting um how those I think relationships are established when we're super young. So, what stands out to you when you think about that time um with Deanna and her sisters?

SPEAKER_02 4:14

What stands out the most is the things that I noticed that now as an adult, I uh I realized nobody was listening, if that makes sense. Nobody was listening at that time. I feel like that was all that's the first thing that I think whenever I think about that time. Nobody was listening. That's all I keep. That's the first thought that comes to my mind. And then uh the second one was uh all of us just being together. That's the second thought. I remember like literally all of us being together in the front yard day after day. The second thought when we finally started having childhood memories. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

It does make sense. Um, when you say no one was listening, what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_02 4:49

There was a lot of bad things happening, you know. And oddly enough, um, that time their uh Deanna's parents called CPS on my mom, and my mom was worried about their parents because the mom was always drunk. And yet I felt like everybody was kind of saying something at the time, but nobody was listening. Not just us, the whole uh it was a neighborhood of where it was like above the bottom, but it was still like there was a lot of stuff happening around the neighborhood, a bunch of bad kids, a bunch of parents doing bad things. And uh one thing I do remember is kids talking to each other a lot about it, and you know, and bringing it up, you know, and nobody would listen.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

This is making me think of my former uh, I guess my my former career, I was an educator for 30 years, and what I know exactly what you're discussing. And one of the things that has changed in schools is now teachers are mandatory reporters. So anytime a minor child comes forward with something saying something like what I believe you are referring to, that has to be reported. Now, that doesn't always mean that CPS has the capacity to step in, but at least we are doing better as a side society to hear the things that I think you're referring to.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

It's just a really odd time, I think, that for that stuff going on. People were getting like people were cut, kids were coming up missing, bad things were happening. I just felt like that's like one of the things I remember.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

And I was actually going to ask you um a little bit about that. So what was Colleen like in the 1980s and 1990s?

SPEAKER_02 6:23

You know, when it was great, it was great. Like I said, we all were on we were us kids, the kids, like the neighbors stuff. We were not all the way up the highest class of people, I guess you would make sense, but it was just fun. We made our own fun. That's all I remember, the 80s just being fun. I remember dressing, I remember them dressing us, like the Madonna look and listening to music with them. That's what the 80s was for me. You know, I was a little girl and they were a little bit older than I was. So the 80s for me at that time, when they I can remember the good times, that's what they were, just fun with friends.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Um, you talked about dressing it with Madonna. How many jelly bracelets did you have?

SPEAKER_02 6:59

The jelly shoes. Um we had jellies, cabbage patches, um, the the bat Pat Benatar wing and bangs, uh, the off-the-shoulder Debbie Gibson Madonna vibe going.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

I had that. Espree. Do you remember Esprit, that brand of clothing? I had so many espree sh espree shirts.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

We had British Nikes, I think, and kids. Keds was a big thing. Uh-huh. Kids and the little flats.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

I still wear those little flat kids. I love those shoes. They're super they're very comfortable for me. So where were kids going? I mean, uh, were there places I know you were younger, but were there places that the older kids were kind of going and hanging out, or did everybody just sort of stay around the neighborhood?

SPEAKER_02 7:44

I will say a lot of the time we hung out right in front of it, it was right in between our houses, like in front of their house and my house. But we also would hang out in this ditch, like right around the corner. Uh, even as young as I was, because I had an older brother that was Becky and Deanna's age. We would all hang out there and won't like, and as little as I was, we were being bad, smoking cigarettes. I remember, oh, we hearing a lot, there was lots of stuff. The uh sex was already how I was already hearing about because they were teenagers already, you know. And I think uh I remember thinking it was odd, but that's it was literally like because as soon as they got away from the adults, they were gonna be kids, you know. We would go over there and occasionally we would go to this arcade on um the rants here, you know, everybody would kind of hang out there um and do the same thing, smoke cigarettes and just talk crap.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

I love the arcades. We had one at the mall. So first she had to figure out how to get to the mall. Um, but when she got to the mall, there was a pretty big arcade over there. And we never really played the games. We just I guess we just walked around in loops. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

All day. All day. Isn't it what you can imagine? Like, I can't stand being in the mall 30 minutes now. Totally dropped off. Being dropped off and staying there like from open to close, you know. They uh we would do the swimming pool as well. They they had a station wagon. So I mean, we would pack up like in the back, in this back seat, in the back of that station wagon, and we'd go to the swimming pool and we'd be there all day. That was another place we hung out. Long branch swimming pool.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

You see what I mean I was the nerd in the arcade with the both pockets completely weighed down in quarters.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Trying to be like the top score.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Wait, what was your arcade theme? You know you had one.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

I don't remember I don't remember correctly. I remember my favorite game. It was Dig Doug.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

I liked Gallagher. Is that what it was called? Yeah. Gallagher, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

I like Donkey Kong.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Yeah, that was a good one too. So looking back, did Colleen feel like a place where parents should be worried, or was there more freedom for kids to roam?

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Again, remember I said we were like different levels, so I always thought that Colleen was kind of dangerous. I don't know how to explain that. Because you know, you see a lot of things. You see a lot of things. As I I feel like it all it all depends on how you live and the neighborhoods that you live in. Because I'm pretty sure had we lived in it, um, even if we could have in a nicer neighborhood, we probably wouldn't have seen it been around, you know. So for me, it was kind of like a worrisome place to think, you know. And I actually a place that I didn't even want to grow up in, you know, personally. I didn't want to grow up here, Kalina. I thought there was just too much going on here. Stuff was already going on then. I think um at that time, as I got older, that soul sign and runaway train, I was like, so many kids came up missing during that time. It was just kind of a weird moment. Like I said, and we were in like a class of people where they're constantly telling you, like, don't talk to strangers, you know, people can pull up on you. And I felt like in our neighborhood it was more possible.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Does that make yeah? It does. It makes sense. And I I mean, something that you just said again has sparked a thought I've never thought about, which is do I have any recollection of anyone in elementary, middle school, or even high school going missing? And I I don't. I can't think of and I feel like that would stick with me. I grew up outside of the Denver metro area in Colorado, and I I don't ever remember that happening. And and I've we've talked to um a couple of people from your area who have said what you just said, kids were going missing during that time. So I don't know, that's just something that sticks out for me. That's not an experience I've had.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

I remember um like I said, you know, it just was the neighborhood. I think because after that, and after we left that neighborhood, we went to an even nicer one where stuff like that didn't happen. They played baseball out in the street, they're hide and go seeking, catching fireflies, complete their if it's like uh I think that's why I said the time at that time that for that neighborhood, it was kind of dangerous.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Let's talk about your recollections of when Deanna went missing. So can you start by taking us back to when you first learned that she was missing? And what do you remember about that time?

SPEAKER_02 11:50

It was we didn't find out until later, later on that she was missing because remember, like I said, we left from that neighborhood to like a really nice neighborhood. Like every every road started with lake, if that makes sense. So nobody knew. And then one day one of my sisters had mentioned it and we I didn't believe it, but they had pictures hanging like in Walmart and stuff like that. So we were in we were kind of in shock. But I remember thinking to myself when I found out I started crying, my little sister and I started crying because, like I said, she had a twin sister, Becky. So we and we would we were all really close. And I remember thinking to myself at that time, like what happened? Like, why would somebody take her? And because I was already big enough then. I was in middle school, I think like seventh grade, sixth grade. And I was like, why would why would she run, you know, why would somebody take her? And then I then I seen it said that she ran away, and then it started making sense. And I told I thought to myself, because of that time that I was going in my mental world, she's lucky, she got away, you know. She got away, you know, from her her mom or her family, or whatever reason, you know. I didn't think at that time that she was like someone had taken her. I thought she just left, like she just got brave one day and decided she was gonna go make her own life until just recently, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

So that has that's always been kind of your thought about what happened in until like just within the last year.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Like in the last, because they had said, like someone said that they had made contact with her, you know. Um, in my brain, because I remember, like I said, some of the some of my childhood memories at her house when we go over there, some things that she would say. In my brain, she just didn't want to be at home anymore. You know, when you're a kid, you think everything's the weight of the world on your shoulders, but some things are not. Some people like, yeah, get the fuck out of here, you know. So when they that's what she was reported as a runaway. So maybe my childhood brain was like, Oh, you know, she got away. She got away, you know, she didn't want to be here. I remember her saying she know she wanted to run away. You know, like she finally just got away from everything that she didn't, she was afraid of and tired of. And then all of a sudden it seemed kind of weird after like a few years ago, they finally said that I guess they weren't they had kind of given up hope. And then the idea of my brain was kind of thinking, like, oh dang, maybe she is gone. You know, it was a weird time. They I felt like in the 80s they were kidnapping children like crazy in the early 90s, and so that literally for years, that's what I thought. She just ran away and got away.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Did it feel like um people like at school and people in the community were talking uh kind of openly about it, or was did it feel more of like a rumor and an uncertainty?

SPEAKER_02 14:32

That's what it was like. Like I didn't, I didn't I didn't feel like it was uh I've seen when people kick up a fuss in this town over things like that, and I felt like it was just just like because I didn't hear about it till after, and things like that were so are so important and big, you know. It was just like a rumor type thing that she had just ran away, and then one day her sister talked to me and uh her twin, and she just kind of like how she remembered, you know, talking to her that night, and you know, and then that's it.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Yeah, I think you're referring to what we understand as um Deanna going over to the trailer where her sister was. Um, and to our knowledge, that's the last known sighting of Deanna. I think she was we understand that she was very connected to her sisters, and we know that at the time she disappeared, they were all sort of scattered in various places due to what you're discussing. But Deanna seemed to make it a point of getting to her sisters, whether that meant walking or getting rides. Um, and and I think that's what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

I remember spending the night, my mom would let her spend the night at the neighbor's house, you know, and uh her her parents always weird and young. But I remember her sleeping. Whenever we'd sleep, she she would hover me like her arms like making sure like I was so safe, arm around me, leg around me. And if I went to the bathroom to wake her up and she would take me to the restroom. Um, I remember her being like that, and I remember her always being a little bit tougher than, you know, Missy was very shy and quiet. Becky was a little, uh, my brother had the biggest crush on her, you know. So she, you know, we're neighbors and they're boy and girl, you know. Amy with the big sister, like she's the oldest, beautiful, you know, having her own teenage life. And that Deanna was just always protective. If we walked home from church, she made sure to hold her hands whenever we crossed a busy road. She was just always like that. That's how I remember her. And I thought for at that time I thought it was kind of odd. But when I think about what she would talk about, not wanting and wanting to run away and stuff like that, she was protecting me from something. She was protecting my little sister and I from something. And they didn't want nothing bad to happen to us at her house. That's what I finally understood making its sense as an adult.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Like that's why, you know, what you were describing to me feels like what we talk a lot about, uh, um, trying to create a puzzle and trying to figure out what piece it's actually trying to make a puzzle without having the picture. And, you know, trying to put several pieces together and make some sort of sense of the pieces that you're collecting in your mind. So, you know, I I hear you saying initi, you know, initially the pieces kind of fell together and it made sense to you as a middle schooler that probably she ran away. Because you're describing a lot of things that that might lead in that way. But then as you got older and learned more, that maybe your understanding of what might have happened changed.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

Even I when I was younger and it was happening, I knew she was being protective over me, you know, over anything. But when I was little, I actually was thinking to myself, she was probably protecting me from people outside because remember, a low-class neighborhood, I remember there was a peeping tom, and I they got I had caught a peeping tom in between our houses. So I I was thinking that as a kid, but like I said, then I remember the things talking about watching something and it was talking about running away. And I asked, Would you run away? And she said, I would. She goes, Yeah, I would. She goes, wouldn't you? You know, so everything kind of started playing together, you know, as I got older.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

And did her disappearance change how your parents treated you or other parents were treating kids in the neighborhood that you lived in?

SPEAKER_02 18:07

No, I just it was it was so small. I it makes me sad when I think about it. It wasn't so much it's like she just ran away and that's it. You know what I mean? Everybody kind of just accepted it because of the rumors be behind it, you know, and everything. And it just wasn't, and things like I said, I was in a neighborhood, things were already happening, happening, you know, someone's getting raped, or somebody got pregnant, or somebody was drunk uh off of their parents' liquor. I can't it just stayed like that, you know, in that neighborhood or even in the, you know, then like I said, I moved to a different neighborhood. I don't remember it being as bad or anything happening like that in life again the way it did when I lived over there in that time that at that time period in my life.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

What do you think people misunderstand about what it's like when someone close to you disappears?

SPEAKER_02 18:55

Because everybody wants to I I feel like everybody gets it uh misunderstood because everybody wants to have an opinion. And they lean into that, I think. I feel like a lot of people do like they go into their own understanding, you know, and then they just go off of that, you know, and nobody really try I feel like lately nobody really tries to dissect things, so I'm really glad they do things like this now.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

I think mostly that's their misunderstanding is because they they want to speculate or they want to go off of what they think and or one headline that they read or one Facebook post or something like that, instead of going deeper and framing a good understanding as the best understanding as we can.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

It's always interesting to me too, because I, you know, I was listening to that and that can be applied at so many different things. And one thing I always remember is uh one of my mentors a long time ago said that anything that you're saying is things that you already know. And so it's important that you listen because that's how you learn more.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Definitely it it didn't make sense to me. When all that happened to you, it didn't I I don't know, it was weird. I just figured she just ran away, you know. Um, I I tried to lean into what I was thinking, but I was trying to base things off of what I was hearing and what I had read because I think I was so baffled too, like how they said, like the uncle making her leave. Why would you make a 14-year-old girl leave from in the middle of the night? You know what I mean? Those things didn't make sense, but I told myself I'm not gonna do that, you know. I'm not I don't know, you know. Uh so I tried to pay attention to what you know, but like I said, it just was quick. You didn't see it for a long time until now.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Again. So let's talk about that. What what do you remember seeing and why do you think it's important for people to come forward and speak now?

SPEAKER_02 20:36

I well, you know, the room somebody had mentioned it because we had a lot of friends at that time. And like I said, I had run into her sister. Uh, and I remember seeing a flyer, and that's it. I didn't I don't remember seeing like you see how Missy, she's like an advocate for all missing children and all runaways. I feel like if people should get involved, especially if it's someone from your hometown or something, you know, and I because it could happen to anybody, you know, it could happen to one of your own kids. You know, I feel like people need to get more involved with things like this, especially if it's in your town or in your community, could really help.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

I feel like that's a very important point that you just brought up. We talk about this a lot when we speak to our families um and we have our conversations, is the importance of one listening, Michael. So thank you for bringing that up. And two, sharing what you hear with local law enforcement, because it is not our responsibility to decide if it's related or important. It is our responsibility to share it. So we are grateful that you are coming forward and we hope that people who are listening and lived in the clean area in the 90s will are willing to speak to law enforcement or send in an anonymous tip uh if they think, you know, they have something that might be related.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

I don't think enough people do any of that. So I get some people get caught up in their own life, but I don't know, every every person is somebody you want to help.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Another excellent point. This is all about humanizing um our victims. We uh we uh we live in an un a society where unfortunately it is our belief that um criminals are prioritized and victims are deprioritized. And we're we're trying to change that with this work. Yes, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Keep going, keep going.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

When people hear Deanna's name today, because as you said, um Missy's been working um tirelessly to bring Deanna's name back into the spotlight. And we've talked to several people who are using the term like turn up the volume. So when people hear Deanna's name today, what do you hope they picture?

SPEAKER_02 22:46

Somebody's sister, somebody's friend, you know, just see her period in general because she's gone with being brought up again. See that this was somebody that laughed with somebody, somebody that protected somebody, and she deserves, you know, she deserves peace to her family, deserves peace. I hope people see that as to come forward and talk more and speak about this whole situation. Maybe we can bring Missy closer to Deanna and everybody else.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

And is there anything about Deanna or about your recollections or this work moving forward that you wanted to share that we didn't give you an opportunity to speak about?

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Uh, just so many things I want to say. I know it was just it was it was such a privilege to have met her before and to say that I have memories with her. I'm so thankful for that, Deanna. I really am.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

You've been listening to Tragedy, a true crime podcast. Our purpose is to honor victims by sharing their stories through the voices of friends, family, and those whose lives were forever changed. If today's episode resonated with you, we encourage you to subscribe, leave a review, and share the podcast so these important stories continue to be heard. Together, we can preserve their memories and ensure their voices are never forgotten. If you have ideas for cases we should cover or questions about what you heard, you can connect with us through our Facebook group, Tragedy a True Crime Podcast, on X at Tragedy Podcast, by email at Tragedy a True Crime Podcast at gmail.com, or by visiting our website www.tragedy a true crime podcast.com. Thank you for listening, and we hope you'll join us next time.