Don't Even Bother

#5: All Aboard The Struggle Bus: Cult Check-In

• Katiuscia + Megan • Episode 5

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0:00 | 42:59

If life has felt a little chaotic, overwhelming, or just plain exhausting lately — welcome aboard the struggle bus.

We're checking in on the current state of modern life and why so many people feel stretched thin. From burnout and digital overload to the pressure to always be productive, we talk about the cultural shifts that might be making life feel heavier than it used to.

It’s an honest conversation about coping, perspective, and the reality that sometimes everyone is just doing their best to get through the week.

No pretending we have it all figured out — just real talk about modern life.

00:00 Intro – Struggle Bus Check-In
03:20 Why Life Feels Overwhelming Right Now
10:15 Productivity Pressure & Burnout
18:30 Social Media and Mental Load
26:00 Coping With Modern Stress
34:40 Perspective & Final Thoughts

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Speaker:

Don't even bother.

Katiuscia:

Happy whatever day it is.

Megan:

Whatever day is it. I don't even know.

Katiuscia:

I can't keep track anymore of anything.

Megan:

I don't think I've ever been able to keep track of whatever day it is.

Katiuscia:

That's fair. We've talked about it a lot in private, but I definitely wanted to talk about. Something more serious and more personal. Today, we're sharing so much with everyone, but I also feel we should share deeper shit into who we are because if anyone's going through it, it just helps people get to know us so

Megan:

well, then you can feel more comfortable joining our cult.

Katiuscia:

Absolutely. If I'm being vulnerable.

Megan:

So this will be our first cult check-in. Okay.

Katiuscia:

Cult check-in.

Megan:

How are we doing?

Katiuscia:

Uh, this has been a really rough year for me, and you know it, and some people know it. I mean, friends know it, but this year has been a whole ass struggle. And this happens in life, right? Mm-hmm. Life is great and then it has waves, and you go through some serious shit, and then you find the ways to get yourself out of it. And so that's what I've been dealing with the majority of the year, so I'm thankful I have you to talk to about it. I'm super pro therapy, as you know, but there are moments where you just have to get through shit on your own.

Megan:

Absolutely.

Katiuscia:

I'm always transparent and honest with my friends, with people that love me in just the sense of, Hey, I'm going through a really difficult time right now. I understand that there are different people in the world who, some people let you do it. Some people have to fix it because they have to be in control. It's that personality type. But you can't fix stuff. You can't really fix stuff that's going on in another person, me, right?

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

So it's hard to figure out, but it's, I'm trying to figure it out without. Being completely removed from society, but I retreat when I go through struggle.

Megan:

Sure.

Katiuscia:

And some people just don't understand that.

Megan:

Yeah. I think there are people who want somebody to fix it for 'em, but I think even therapists don't. And I think that's a lot of the misconception about like talk therapy is they're not fixing you. It's not like they can. Unlatch your brain and reach in there and give it a good shampoo. They're leading you down a path that you, you know, here's some tools. Have you considered this? They're just basically sharing tools with you or an outside perspective that might help you figure it out on your own. But I'm also a big fan of figuring it out on my own.

Katiuscia:

I love it. I feel like I have to also, because where I love therapy. And when I was in San Diego, I had the same therapist for 16 years. He was an older gentleman from East coast. He was amazing. He bat it straight, and it was fantastic because it was that blunt, abrasive, harsh honesty that I needed for certain things. But being so many years in therapy, you also learn a lot, okay, if, if I've had this happen before, how did I cope and how did I deal with it before? You've learned those tools. So now therapy is different for me. I still love my talk therapy, but I also process, I don't go as often.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

Because I'm processing a lot of it on my own. I've talked to you about it, but I haven't delved and divulged everything.'cause that's not who I am. I, I have to figure it out on my own. I think 28 years of living with an autoimmune illness and having to deal with all the shit that's come from that. You figure out the way to move forward, and that's really only something that you can do.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

And so I just feel we all find these methods of coping. I'm also really big of, I try to be positive in everything, but I'm very much a realist. So you've got the optimist, the pessimist, and the realist. I'm a realist, but I do understand that when I communicate with someone who's maybe more of an optimist. Being a realist can sound a little bit like Debbie Downer.

Megan:

Sure.

Katiuscia:

But really it's reality. It's that dose of reality. So yeah, sometimes it does come across that way. Maybe it's a delivery issue, but I try to be as positive as I can with always being very realistic.'cause sometimes no matter how much I wanna manifest something amazing, if it's not in the immediate cards that are dealt of what I'm dealing with in that current moment. Whether it's health, whether it's something else, we're gonna be realistic about it. I would love it to be like this. But

Megan:

yeah, I think I am a realist and I wanna say an optimistic realist, but I am more of a silver lining person.

Katiuscia:

Okay.

Megan:

I can be just deep in the shit, but I can find something that's good. And then I just clinging to that little thread. That's usually how I find my way back, but, but I can be very realistic about it.

Katiuscia:

That's huge. That's something that I've always said when I am going through those really hard moments, and I mean, this year has been rough for a lot of things. One thing I will make very clear is that even though I may retreat from. I don't answer text messages all the time. I can't have phone conversations with everyone. I show up for everything I need to show up for. Nobody else would know. My work environment, my people that I work with, the clients, they would never know because I show up for everything I need to be at 100%. Nobody can tell the difference. I can tell the difference. Yeah. I know that. Then I'm gonna get home and I'm exhausted. I'm already a natural introvert, so being out and putting everything, just laying it all out perfectly for work, I will always do it for anything I'm involved in. I will always do it if a friend needs me, I'm always there. Mm-hmm. I do not herm it out. I retreat in my own emotions and my own mind because I have to find the way to get out of it. And that's, I feel like that's very fair. I feel like people who know me, people who've known me for years, understand that's how I operate. I feel that society has kind of taught everyone, if someone's not returning your phone calls, talking to you as much, you must have done something wrong. Mm-hmm. So naturally, a lot of people just wanna make everything about themselves. I don't, I don't want you to make anything about me. About you.'cause it's like. It's literally me.

Megan:

Do you find that not Hermiting? Going and doing all those things sometimes helps you find your way back maybe faster than if you just hermitage yourself at home.

Katiuscia:

Well, let's be clear. I don't have the luxury of hermiting myself at home. Although it sounds like it could be really beneficial just to have a reset. That's why I'll occasionally go on a little two day trip or something just to reset my mind and get out of the environment that I'm always in. Sure. I much like you in the sense of finding a good thing. Whenever I am in a dark place, I look for the good thing.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

Because at least then my day is great. It's a faith thing. You throw yourself in prayer, you throw yourself in, whatever it is. For me, if I can just have a little glimmer of something good and that's maybe I came home from all these events that I had to do and my puppy is. Amazing. My dogs are so excited to see me, and that's just a little spark of joy that I've got three little beings that rely on me to feed them and play with them and love them. I always try to find the little hopeful thing true, and then I also put it in perspective of, gosh, I'm going through this right now on an emotional and mental level, but. What I've been through in the past with my illness and what people are currently going through, dealing with their own health issues. It's, I'm very grateful. And then it just knocks me back into back reality where you've, it's not good right now for you on many levels, but it's great on so many other levels. Sure. Because you have all of this. Mm-hmm. And this is just. Season. I've always gone through seasonal depression. Not for the season, but it's a season of life. Life. Seasonal depression. I feel like a lot of people go through highs and lows, ups and downs, whether they wanna call it depression or not, they go through difficult patches in life. Yeah. And then it's our responsibility to not only get out of it, but in the interim, find the coping mechanism for it.

Megan:

For sure. So the reason I asked if you found that more helpful is it brought to mind when my brother died and I was working two jobs, so one of the jobs I just could not go to, I could not, and they gave me, they were incredible to me. They gave me time off. They flew me, they bought my plane ticket to go to his funeral because my work dad, who I had known since I was four years old. I just, I love him tremendously. He bought my ticket. He didn't want me driving. It was in the winter, so I couldn't go to that job'cause I didn't want that much attention on it. But I had another job where I could be a little more anonymous and I still, people were like, why are you here? And I had to just go and do the normal thing to be able to, 'cause if I had just sat at home, I would've fallen apart for sure. All the way, but that was my one little foothold back into real life, and I could just keep doing the normal thing and then I could get my footing with the other places of my life.

Katiuscia:

That makes sense. I mean, maybe for me, there's not really a moment in my life, and it's kind of like yours, where we know what we go through on a daily basis. It's nonstop shit. You're just go, go, go, go, go, go, go. That really, sometimes I just want a minute to rewatch an episode of Game of Thrones or something and chill and you know, not have to think about other things. But I'm always gone. Mm-hmm. I'm always out doing something, so maybe it helps. I do find though, that I'm still on. I'm out, and even though I might be going through this mental turmoil on my own. And again, no one's gonna tell I'm always on, but then that almost takes more out of me.

Megan:

Oh, for sure.

Katiuscia:

Because I don't feel typically on a normal day, if I'm feeling great and I'm not going through this, it's fine. I go out, I do my job, I'm still like, oh, fill my cup because I am so introverted. But. It's easier, it's more difficult. Mm-hmm. When you have to now do the same thing you've always done

Megan:

and pretend it's no big deal,

Katiuscia:

pretend that it's just that you have nothing going on. It's really difficult for me to compartmentalize that sometimes. Sure. In my own mind. But again, to the external affairs and the public, you can't tell, but I just wanted to talk about it because I feel that a lot of people go through this shit. It's also on a larger scale. When I moved here and we talked about how we met and how it was hard for me to find people. And you just want a normal, natural sense of belonging, right?

Megan:

Absolutely.

Katiuscia:

So when I go out to do my job or to do what things I'm involved with, I'm, I still belong to a community. Mm-hmm. So I'm showing up for the community or for clients or whoever needs me. I will always show up. But that's because I've invested my time in trying to belong, so I wanna keep participating in it. Also, there are a lot of extracurricular things, just organizations I'm involved with that have things at night, things on the weekend I wanna be involved, but I do also have to find a limit. I had to go through this last year where I was so spread thin. That I needed to reign it in, so I chipped away at some stuff. I eliminated it, and I'm finding going into the next year, I'm gonna do the same thing. So I'm really having to pare down everything because I haven't been able to devote time to myself. So when I say watch an episode of Game of Thrones, it's easy. It's just, it's very surface. It's something that I could do for myself purely and not have any expectation out of it or whatever.

Megan:

Sure.

Katiuscia:

The other thing I would say, that's the biggest thing that I've probably done to try to get myself out of this this year is a few months ago, I finally got a Peloton after, no, not months. Oh my gosh. After years of coveting it and wanting it. And I will tell you I am as obsessed still now as I am day one that it came. I fricking love that thing so much and it makes me feel, it's helping me feel like me again. So there's rarely a day that I miss. There's so much just exploring on it and fun playlists and cool instructors that I'm very grateful I have that because it also keeps my mind strong.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

And therefore I can feel strong again in my body and feel like who I've always been. I'm returning to a sense of self that's crucial. So if anything's coming out of the struggle I've had this year, it's that I'm finding my way back to myself after maybe. A few years of neglecting that because I was spread so thin with everything else.

Megan:

Sure. I totally get that. To touch on your sense of belonging, having a place where you can just be totally yourself and you don't have to put on that show. I mean, just go and sit on my couch and eat some pizza and. I know that you're struggling and you know that I'm struggling, but we don't have to fucking talk about it the whole time. It just is. But I know that you're gonna get through it and I know that you know that I'll help you if you, if there's a way I'll help you, I will help you. And same right back to you. But we don't have to have a pity party or, but when you have that community and that sense of belonging, that's a huge step in your own healing journey.

Katiuscia:

Yeah,

Megan:

I like to walk'cause I'm such an old lady. I wish that I could go to the gym every day, but the way that I've structured my life and the priorities with being a mom and having a full-time job and all, it's just bonkers. But now I have this puppy and so we walk and that helps. That helps me a lot. That's a nice time for me to just. I clear my head and I will probably be listening to something, a podcast or some music, and half the time I'll get back home and go, well, I don't remember a single thing that I just listened to, so I have to re rewind it. But I think movement helps a lot. Being able to just move your body

Katiuscia:

huge

Megan:

helps your brain. We were made to move. Humans weren't made to be sedentary, but then in, in my old lady ways, I taught myself how to crochet last year. And

Katiuscia:

this is such an old lady way,

Megan:

by the way. It's such an old lady thing. I taught myself how to knit 20 years ago. Oh. But knitting puts me to sleep. And so I taught myself how to crochet and it's a lot more fun for me. And it's the first thing I felt like I was going through my whole life. Like somebody handed me a video game controller and mine was set on hard, but nobody told me. And everybody else around me was just flying through this game, like, why do you keep dying? This is so easy. And it was like, this is so fucking hard. And crochet was the first thing I've ever tried. That was just. Easy.

Katiuscia:

Is crocheting the one with the two needles?

Megan:

No, that's knitting.

Katiuscia:

That's knitting where you have to loop the mm-hmm. Okay.

Megan:

It's pretty similar, but where

Katiuscia:

you wrap and you loop, I guess I apparently know how to knit as well. Who would've

Megan:

that? Um, so it's been a way that I get to be creative.'cause I've tried all the creative things. I have a creative drive in me, but I am not great at painting. I can't draw. I can write, but sitting down to write is not. Always cathartic in that way for me, and I can't, nobody wants to hear me sing like that. That ain't it. So that's my, just really,

Katiuscia:

that's your thing.

Megan:

That's my thing.

Katiuscia:

Your release.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

Your coping strategy.

Megan:

For sure. It's been kind of cool, and I could go into all the ways that a bilateral movement actually helps reset your nervous system. Because my nervous system has been on fire for more than 40 years, and so learning how to be calm is really difficult, but I am determined and I will get there. One day I will be calm and I will not be in like an absolute cortisol spike like you. I wanna get through it myself too. Because I definitely have that part of my brain where if somebody tell, if I was already planning on doing something and somebody tells me I should do it, I turn into rage against the machine like, fuck you. I won't do what you tell me. I'm not doing it. Get bent. So it's better for me if I can just figure it out on my own rather than having somebody tell me, here's what you need to do.'cause I am not, I'm not doing that. If I had a dollar for every book that somebody told me to read. And I was like, me pass, it's off the list. Now we could, we could go to a real nice lunch.

Katiuscia:

It was at the top of the list. Now it's at the, but it's off the list completely.

Megan:

It would make my life a lot easier if my brain was not that way. But there are sometimes where it's beneficial.

Katiuscia:

A lot of people, they say they, they wanna help. I look at it from the nature of a fixer and the nature of the people who are giving the advice. Although maybe unsolicited.

Megan:

Oh, I, I have an allergic reaction to unsolicited advice. I think we just made that clear. But continue.

Katiuscia:

Those people, they're, they mean well. Right?

Megan:

Sure.

Katiuscia:

But it's the read the room situation. Mm-hmm. You offer and make it known that you're there. To help. And if someone needs to talk to you or needs anything from you, you're there. You're open. You want to help in any way they can, but a lot of time people just need space, unless they're the people who need someone else to fix it for them. I'm not. So my biggest worry has been. People I meet if they feel I'm neglecting them, and then I think, wait, stop worrying about other people because you have to get through this on your own. This is just the way I've always survived, right? I've always been a survivor and I get through shit myself, but I can't be answering the same question and no amount of unsolicited advice or suggestions of maybe something I should do. Or what I can listen to. Nothing's gonna help me but me. This is a, God helps those who help themselves thing. Mm-hmm. I have my faith. I throw myself into prayer, but I have to get through it alone. We all have our own coping mechanisms.

Megan:

Absolutely.

Katiuscia:

Who goes to therapy?

Megan:

Well, therapy. Well, could be anything.

Katiuscia:

That's what I'm, yeah.

Megan:

Yeah. It could be your Peloton, it could be drinking. There's lots of ways that people. Therapize themselves cope. Yeah. They cope. They cope and they, and whether it's healthy or not, 'cause there are some people in therapy and it's actually making it worse in actual talk therapy. So there are people who are think to talkers and there are people who are talk to thinkers. A think to talker processes. It processes it all in their own brain before they ever talk about it. I have to talk about it in order to process it. So talk therapy is super helpful for me because I can bounce it off this other person.'cause I have 95 other things rolling through my brain. They're all at the equal volume, so being able to talk about it to somebody else out loud or by myself, my kids catch me talking to myself all the time because just being able to hear it helps me process it a little bit differently and to have somebody else to go to and say, am I the asshole? Am I being too sensitive? Am I being too dramatic? Helps me then be able to process how I'm gonna handle this problem. So I think that's an important distinction to make if somebody wants to talk about it or doesn't want to talk about it. But I also think that the people who end up, whether inadvertently or on purpose making it about themselves is usually because they are so uncomfortable sitting in discomfort.

Katiuscia:

Okay.

Megan:

You have to learn it on your own. You have to figure it out on your own. I am fine sitting with you and let just being here with you and letting you be uncomfortable figuring it out on your own. If I have the answer and you ask me, or I could say, well, do you wanna know what's worked for me? That's different than the people who cannot watch someone else struggle. And they want to fix it, and it's a noble idea. It's snowball on paper, but they can hijack your problem very easily.

Katiuscia:

Right.

Megan:

That then derails the whole thing because now I'm just annoyed. So I think it's the people who, I don't wanna say incapable, but the people who have a really hard time sitting with discomfort. Especially someone else's discomfort. Those are usually the fixers. And if I know that you have the answer and I just want the answer, then spectaculars. That's why I use the calculator on my phone,

Katiuscia:

right?

Megan:

Sure, I could sit down with a pencil and a paper and do the problem, but if I can just ask the question and have an answer, then hell yes, let's do that. But if I need to struggle through it. You need to let me struggle through it. And there are a lot of people who have a really hard time with that.

Katiuscia:

That makes sense. So I'm definitely a think to talker. I have to go through my retreat and then once I start to think, once I start to figure it out on my own, that's usually when I'll start kicking up my therapy appointments and all of that. But there is such a beauty. Which sounds weird, but there is a beauty of struggling because it equals growth.

Megan:

Absolutely.

Katiuscia:

It equals healing on your own. Yep. There's so many things just evolving as a person to be able to come out of something difficult in your life and come on the other side and having learned what you learned how to get through it. Mm-hmm. That's huge. So I'm all for the growth, the struggle. Is what gets me to the growth, you know, in life. Some, some moments are more difficult than others. In terms of what I've currently been going through this past year, this has been like nothing I've ever experienced before on a just mental emotional level. And so it's a lot of figuring things out. Mm-hmm. Trying to. Make moves and structure things where there's a clear plan moving forward. Other times it's maybe not like that, but this is what I've been going through now. So just finding those ways to cope through it. And yes, the Peloton has been hugely beneficial.

Megan:

'cause that's a bilateral activity. You're moving your legs left, right, left, right. Same like walking that those things.

Katiuscia:

That makes sense. Help.

Megan:

Help reset your nervous system.

Katiuscia:

I've talked to other good friends of mine in the sense of how we cope, and they are very similar to what I'm saying about the retreat and maybe disappear for a while. I'm so sorry that I disappeared and I get it. So I guess a general apology to anyone I've disappeared from, if you've been offended, but I've really just needed to survive. Yeah, this has been how I survive my whole life. No one's done it for me, so I'm just gonna keep doing it myself. I have to.

Megan:

Everybody has to. If you've ever watched a kid learn how to walk, you can't do it for 'em. They have to learn and they have to fall down, and you can be there to support and you can be there to make sure they don't crack their head on the fireplace, but. Everybody has to go through it on their own, and I think that's where resiliency comes in and being able to find the silver lining and find the growth in the struggle and just embrace the shit is how you become resilient.

Katiuscia:

You don't become resilient for embrace

Megan:

fun, embrace the shit. I'm gonna embroider it on a pillow.

Katiuscia:

Do it crochet. Can you crochet something probably like that.

Megan:

I probably figure it out.

Katiuscia:

A huge thing, I think is just a reminder to all, to not make someone else a struggle about yourself. That's so,

Megan:

yeah. Uh,

Katiuscia:

that's so hard for the person that's dealing with it to, it's almost that one upper. Right.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

I know you're, oh, I know you're going through this, but listen to what I'm going through and it's a one-upping situation. I'm not competing for struggle. Yeah. I just am trying to survive and I know that, again, that comes from a place of trying to maybe be, what's it called when someone is, this is where my ESL is kicking in, where I can't Someone on your level get on your level. Sure.

Megan:

I mean, I think if it's apples to apples, I don't mind like when again, not to, not to beat a dead horse. My, you guys, my dead brother would think that was hilarious.

Katiuscia:

Oh,

Megan:

so when he died, I did have a coworker whose brother had also died, and he didn't die in the same way. And so when she was like, man, I feel you when my brother died, that doesn't bother me at all. That's a connection. That's, but so there's a nuance to it because. If I go to somebody who has never acknowledged being depressed ever in their life, and I'm like, man, I think I'm depressed again. I have no problem admitting that. I have no problem saying that because I know that I can get outta that. I have come and gone from that island so many times. It's fine. But this is somebody who has never even acknowledged being depressed in their own life, doesn't understand what that means, and they're like, well, probably you should get off social media. Uh, pass or, well, you need to exercise more. Like, or when I was feeling sad be No, no, thank you. That's not helpful.

Katiuscia:

Right.

Megan:

So I think that just like I said, being able to sit in discomfort with somebody else without trying to fix it or offering unsolicited advice.

Katiuscia:

Or flip the script and make it about

Megan:

you. Yeah,

Katiuscia:

yeah.

Megan:

Be very aware of how you're making it, because there are a lot of people, I am one of them, who will try to tell a story that is very similar to your story so that you know that I know what you're going through. I'm not trying to make it about me, and I try so hard to make sure that even though I'm trying to tell you the story, because now we can relate more. It's not about me and I, that's a very concerted effort that I make to do that. So I think that's a way that people can support somebody going through the struggle is don't make it about yourself.

Katiuscia:

No, don't make it about yourself at all, but also just honor the space that other people need. For me, when I know that people are going through hard times, I do exactly what I would love, which is what I already said. I am here for you. If you need anything, I might send you a treat just to make you smile. Give you some joy, give you that one thing of the day to, I dunno, send you a coffee gift card digitally this time so you have it. Never will I overstep, because I know what it's like.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

I think the majority of people who are actually working through their shit, I think the majority of us need to process it a little bit on our own. Mm-hmm. Don't wanna make a. Status post on social media.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

We don't want the attention on ourselves. Oh,

Megan:

hate attention. I don't want it

Katiuscia:

for either. Pity. We don't want anyone to just feel bad. You don't want any of that. Mm-hmm. I don't. So that's why it's super quiet when I go through it and I don't make it a production. But then I feel like I have to tell people when they keep prying. I'm sorry. This is just how I cope and it's nothing personal. This is literally nothing about you. Yeah. This is everything about me and it's just how we cope. Some people, if they're in a bit of a dark hole, they've gotta get their way out of it. They have to find the light.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

And pull their ass out of it and no one can do it for them.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

But I love that you're gonna be sitting outside it waiting for me. Absolutely. You know what I mean? I appreciate that. I love you for that. But in the interim. You just kind of gotta let me get through it myself.

Megan:

I think the thing I appreciate the most is the people that I have shared my struggle with in a detailed way who aren't pressuring me to fix it faster. Who are just saying, you know what, I see that you're struggling with that and I'm sorry, and if there's anything I can do, you let me know, but in the meantime, I will still be here. I will not judge you for making this decision that I think you should make because it's more than that. It's harder than that. The people who give me the patience and still wanna be my friend, even though I'm still struggling with this and I'm still talking about it, and it might, I might be struggling with this one thing for. The next 10 to 20 years of my life, we don't know, but they just are patient with me and let me handle it the way that I'm gonna handle it, even though it might not be how they would handle it.

Katiuscia:

Well, we're all so unique in that we have to get through it the way we do.

Megan:

Yeah,

Katiuscia:

it's, I do love that you and I, for example, can be going through shit and I could be bawling and having a horrible day where everything is just. I don't know. I saw one too many videos of dogs getting put down or something, and now I've completely lost it'cause I've spiraled out. But then on the flip side, we're also sending each other extremely inappropriate dark humor memes, which

Megan:

just bonkers things.

Katiuscia:

So yeah, I could be laughing and crying at the same time.

Megan:

Well, and we could be having a text conversation that's very serious and heavy, and then also sending each other just nonsense on Instagram. That's the best.

Katiuscia:

That's the beauty of just having unhinged dark humor where nothing really shocks us anymore, which I am very grateful for. But going through moments like this. That's probably the glimmer that I get a lot of days too. Oh. Oh for sure. When I finally go at the end of the night and I open my Instagram and I'm just like scrolling past all through all the things that we've sent, that makes me laugh. So it pulls me momentarily out of whatever I'm thinking about.'cause now my mind is just focused on garbage and it's wonderful.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

I love it.

Megan:

It's like when a cat brings you a mouse, it's a little gift on your doorstep. A little gift.

Katiuscia:

I love that and I'm very grateful for that.

Megan:

Me too.

Katiuscia:

But yeah, I just think find the method that makes you cope. Everybody whether try to do it healthfully. Totally. You've got the people who throw themselves into yoga and they go on the health food kicks and the juice thing and this and that. And then you have the people who don't do it so healthily, which will only cause problems long term, even more. But I think the important thing to remember there is if you are in a place, I'm not, I'm not like, I'm just having a struggle this year. It's nothing crazy. It's nothing insane. It's nothing that I can't get out of. It's just a difficult year, a really, really challenging year on that level, but beautiful on so many other levels. But if you have someone who's going through a rock bottom type time, 'cause I'm not there, I'm, it's not there. If you have someone going through a rock bottom type time and they do turn to other things, they're gonna have just a little more of a process to get themselves out of it. Mm-hmm. Because they are coping.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

You know, that's how they're coping with their really bad struggle.

Megan:

And sometimes you can help 'em and sometimes you can't.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. That's a difficult one, but,

Megan:

and it's really hard I think, to, for everyone, me included, I talk a big game, but it's hard to not judge other people's struggles. Or, and or the way that they're dealing with them.

Katiuscia:

Do you think that's because you've been working so much on yourself and getting your own shit together?

Megan:

Could be

Katiuscia:

that you see, maybe you see the out or you see the way through and you think, wait, what? Why are, why wouldn't you do it this way? You're not offering the unsolicited advice, which is great of you. But

Megan:

yeah,

Katiuscia:

sometimes. And I wonder if that, I wonder if that's a reason,

Megan:

but I also have a really hard time 'cause I'm pretty open about it. And so there have been people in my life who've come to me and for the first time in their life, been in their thirties or something and been, I think I'm depressed. What do I do? I'm like, Ugh, figure it out. And it's not, I don't wanna be that way. I wanna be compassionate and helpful. I've been told that I would make a great therapist and I don't think that I would though. I would on the fact that I can listen and not judge. I can listen and be unflappable, but you gotta find the way that works for you. Just 'cause it worked for me doesn't mean it's gonna work for you. If you're just now going through this in your thirties or forties, that's totally different than my dumpster fire of 40 years. I have a hard time when somebody's like, oh, you've been to therapy. What should I do here? No, you go to therapy. That's

Katiuscia:

hard.

Megan:

Eat a steak with real butter, take a walk, maybe do some arts and crafts, and or go to therapy.

Katiuscia:

Go to therapy

Megan:

or just lay on your bedroom floor with some headphones and some music, whatever the thing is. But yeah, I do have a hard time with that sometimes.

Katiuscia:

Sometimes I'll meet people who have May, and maybe it's just on paper, maybe it's real, but the way it comes across is not. You've got very, almost silver spoon fed people and for them to try to get on your level. If you're going through something, again, struggle builds character. We all know that. And that's probably in every self-help book you could ever read or a podcast you could listen to. You get through it, you grow all these things. Is, is it a fomo? Do people want, so they'll almost manufacture something in their own life. I don't know if it's to garner sympathy or to get people to maybe, or maybe just to be a, the person that has all the, I don't know what it is, but I just don't know why anyone would want shit to be hard in their life.

Megan:

Right.

Katiuscia:

Why do you want that? You Nobody does. Yes, we have dark humor that came out of all of the shit that we've been through, but I wouldn't wish struggle on anybody. If you are privileged and blessed enough to have a great life, I love that for you. It's amazing. You're not gonna be as funny, but it's fine.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

We love you the way you are. I just don't know why anyone would want adversity. There it is.

Megan:

Yeah, there's something to be said for the people who choose voluntary adversity, the people who love cold plunges and shit. I'm all set, and I think that can help you grow in your mental toughness and things like that. I think there's a healthy way to do that as well, but just manufacturing drama, just because you're bored of your life is gross. Let's not, you know, I think something that I do struggle with is. Comparing people's struggles. So I'm constantly, well, she got her arm bit off by a shark and I'm just over here, you know, whatever my thing is, I minimize my things a lot because I think I try not to do that to other people. The worst day of your life is the worst day of your life. Whether it's the same or as sure as bad as my worst day of my life is totally irrelevant. A level 10 pain for somebody might be stubbing their toe. Whereas a level 10 pain for somebody else might be getting eaten by a bear. It's kind of all relative. So it's hard to, it's easy to judge other people based on your own worst days. I think a lot of people have a hard time, 'cause a lot of people have it worse than me, so my pain's not relevant.

Katiuscia:

That's kind of my thing is I'm the person that. Well,

Megan:

I'm gonna sit here in this shit 'cause at least I got all my limbs or whatever

Katiuscia:

the perspective.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

That also is a good glimmer of hope for me. It's that positive thing out of the day. Mm-hmm. When I do have these bad moments that I don't know, I'll turn, I'll see social media and something tragic will be on it of, of course. So I see something and then it just puts reality back. Yes. You're struggling. Yes, it's valid. I do have to remind myself, because I'd wanna just. Deal with it. I've always been that person, and I think it's with illness, getting sick at 13, my biggest thing was I never wanna be a burden to anybody. Mm-hmm. That's just always something that's stuck in my head. Anyone I date, I don't wanna complain. All of the things, I don't wanna be a burden. And to the point that even if I'm in excruciating pain, physical pain, my pain tolerance is so high. Yeah, that it takes everything for me to finally say, okay, maybe I guess this is the point we go to, er, maybe now I've done it for four or five days now on my own. Maybe this is the moment. I just don't wanna be a burden, and I certainly don't wanna go wait in er. Oh, it's worst, because that's gonna annoy me even worse.

Megan:

Oh yeah.

Katiuscia:

So you just pick these things and you put everything in perspective, and I think the most important thing is. I am doing my best. I'm getting out of it. It's getting better already. Mm-hmm. From where the year had started. It's definitely on a good path, but just that everyone remembers that. If you need someone to talk to, find the person that loves you. Yeah. Don't just talk to anybody. Not everybody really cares. And for shit like this, you want someone that really cares.

Megan:

A lot of people are just curious.

Katiuscia:

Mm-hmm. Find though the, the things that make you cope.

Megan:

Yeah. Yeah, find your people.

Katiuscia:

Get yourself a coping coach.

Megan:

A coping coach.

Katiuscia:

Get yourself someone to help you through. Whether that is an actual therapist, whether that's a trainer, whether that's a friend who you can just go to their house and sit on their couch and eat pizza and shut up and have a Disney movie on in the background and not care. So it's things like that. Yeah, where you just have to find the things that make you. You and bring you a little bit of peace in the turmoil that's already going on in your own brain.'cause how do we, how do we get through that?

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

You just have to find those positive things. So I guess that's it. But if you have, if anyone has really good coping mechanisms that are he on the healthier side?

Megan:

Yeah. I'm not juicing, I'm not doing that.

Katiuscia:

I don't wanna juice either, but if you,

Megan:

I'm not eating kale and I'm not doing a cold plunge,

Katiuscia:

but if you've been somewhere recently, if you've, if you're local and you've taken a local hike, that absolutely changed your world, right? Oh

Megan:

yeah.

Katiuscia:

I would love to know about it. Yeah. I, if there's a spot here in the valley. Or even up north a little bit, if someone's checked out something that they thought. And sometimes I think all I need is a forest bath, you know?

Megan:

Oh, yeah.

Katiuscia:

Because I think that always is probably the healer, the big healer. But yeah, if anyone has anything, we'd love to hear it. And I guess for that, we'll just remind everyone to follow

Megan:

mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

On the platforms and subscribe on the YouTube and share, share, share our podcast with all of your friends who understand humor and just wanna talk about life.

Megan:

Yes. And you can email us.

Katiuscia:

Yeah, you can email us

Megan:

at what

Katiuscia:

at Don't Even Bother a podcast@gmail.com. It's in the notes. We'll always put it in the notes.

Megan:

Oh, okay. That's good to know.'cause I'll never remember it.

Katiuscia:

Mm-hmm. I know.

Megan:

And well, I guess to wrap it up, we'll say, have a good day to everyone except people who clap in movies.

Katiuscia:

Oh gosh. Y'all know. Don't do it. Bye.