Don't Even Bother

#7: Modern Manners + Misconduct: Why Basic Decency Feels Rare Now

• Katiuscia + Megan • Episode 7

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0:00 | 49:16

What happened to basic manners — and why does everyday behavior feel so different now?

Today, we break down how people communicate, interact, and show respect.

From social media behavior and public etiquette to boundaries, accountability, and entitlement, we unpack why basic decency feels less common — and what that says about modern culture.

This is a real conversation about social norms, communication breakdowns, and navigating a world where expectations around behavior aren’t as clear as they used to be.

If you’ve ever caught yourself wondering “when did this become acceptable?” — you’re not alone.

00:00 Modern Manners or Modern Chaos
02:45 What Happened to Basic Courtesy
06:30 Social Media and Online Behavior
10:55 Public Etiquette and Daily Interactions
15:20 Confidence vs Entitlement
20:40 Communication Breakdowns
25:15 Boundaries and Respect
30:10 Why Social Norms Are Changing
35:25 Generational Differences
40:10 Final Thoughts

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Speaker:

Don't even bother.

Katiuscia:

So I would like to know when everyone in society became such a meanie.

Megan:

I think it was right around the time where people realized that they could say things online and not have the possibility of getting punched in the face for it immediately.

Katiuscia:

I definitely see the bullying aspect online. Still very bad, actually quite extreme, where it's almost concerning on a lot of levels. Because you never know who's receiving it on the other end.

Megan:

Sure.

Katiuscia:

There's a level between funny, humorous, joke, sarcastic, and then there's cruelty, and I feel like that's a ton online, but I've been noticing it for quite a while in the real world, so

Megan:

Sure.

Katiuscia:

I just don't understand when this became acceptable to do this and why people are doing it.

Megan:

Yeah, I think that that braveness kind of carries over. People get real bold because again, the odds of you getting popped in the mouth for saying something are smaller than they were in the good in the days of your, you know, I mean, and. And even think about just the last five years and everything that went down with the Woo Flu and people lost their minds. And the people that felt totally emboldened to scream at whole strangers for not wearing a piece of paper over their face. In a grocery store, you don't know that person. You don't know their circumstances, you don't know anything, and yet you are so afraid. That you're gonna accost them rather than coming at it with curiosity.

Katiuscia:

Holy shit. Hold on. This is wild. Let's actually delve into this because COV was such an insane time in all of our lives that we can all, we all are moving forward knowing this. You've got now multiple generations even under us. Experienced this that knew what this was like and the way that people were treated. We always look at COVID and think, was this just the biggest government experiment?

Megan:

Yes.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. Because how can you control Every level of control that could have been in place was in place for COVID. A hundred percent the inability, the isolation. Talk about a cult.

Megan:

Yeah. Oh yeah.

Katiuscia:

Isolation. The financial exploitation. Everything about it. With the vaccines fear, with everything. The fear, but just that. That attitude. You're right, that braveness to go out and yell at someone for not wearing a mask or yell at someone for being closer than six feet to you. But then how everything slowly spins in. You have to walk into a restaurant with a mask, but as soon as you sit at your table, you can take off your mask because the disease doesn't transmit when you're eating. It's evil. Oh yeah.

Megan:

Well, and yeah, just the,

Katiuscia:

and we and people bought this shit.

Megan:

Yeah. And the social engineering of stand on this dot I to this day, you'll see remnants of those in the store, but I never once would stand on

Katiuscia:

that.no.

Megan:

I love my personal space. I'm not getting up on you in a line, but I'm not standing on a dot on the floor. Get bent. I'm not doing that. And I personally had several people scream at me in grocery stores for not wearing a mask with my tiny children present. And it was just always astounding to me. You don't know me. You don't know why I'm not wearing a mask. I mean, I, 'cause it is worthless.

Katiuscia:

Yeah.

Megan:

But even beyond that, like there

Katiuscia:

were medical exemptions. Yeah. And nobody cared.

Megan:

Nobody cared.

Katiuscia:

Well see. That's the nice thing about being here though. So I wasn't here during that first wave of COVID. I came to check out the state in the summer of 2020. I moved here the following spring. I was in a place that was so locked down. I remember it was. May 1st, 2020, that Trader Joe's was putting their policy in place that you had to be masked in the store. So I had gone there on April 30th and I was just going wild without a mask because I thought, I don't want to do this. I, I feel so uncomfortable. I always had a problem with the masking. It gave me tremendous anxiety because I couldn't see, I just, I felt we were all. Just abiding blindly to something that we were just told. You're just told. Yeah. Okay. And yes, people are dying, but they're also dying of other things. People are, and labeling it

Megan:

people with COVID.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. They're labeling it. Yeah. So there was There's so much.

Megan:

Yeah. And yes, there were people who had a higher risk. There are people who are at a higher risk of. Having cirrhosis of the liver, there are people who are at a higher risk of diabetes. There are people, and I don't, I'm not walking around, bending over backwards to make sure all of those people are healthy and safe. You need to take personal, personal responsibility, I think is the key of the whole thing. But nobody did the fear gripped people. To the point that they lost their minds.

Katiuscia:

They lost their minds. But so many people lost their livelihoods. A lot of people lost their lives. Not because of the disease, but because of the isolation. Oh yeah. And I feel that was a very real thing that was never talked about and just. The fact that you still have people to this day who will die, go down with the ship that it was the worst thing and blah, blah, blah, and you had to, everyone who didn't follow the rules and everyone who didn't get vaccinated. You don't know me at the end of the day. Mm-hmm. Like you said, I am autoimmune. I am at high risk of anything. Do I trust everything that the government tells me also? No. Yeah. So why would I listen to someone? Why would I listen to anyone and then why would I allow people to treat me? It's just everyone felt so empowered to treat their neighbor like shit because they believed different from them. If they didn't choose. If they didn't make the choice to get vaccinated because of their own personal health reasons or their own personal beliefs, they were ostracized. They were treated so poorly neighbors, everything. You had a mayor of LA encouraging. Neighbors to rat out their other neighbors for getting together on the holidays. This was a sick time and I don't think that the rage has surfaced just yet. And I think that what really got me, what really pissed me off recently was when Biden pardoned Fauci.'cause I thought, are you serious? This guy has made so much money off everything off. Life and death, literally. Mm-hmm. Of people. And just the fact that people are still so crazy unhinged about it. Do you know that I have seen people multiple times recently with masks.

Megan:

Oh, me too.

Katiuscia:

In their car?

Megan:

Oh,

Katiuscia:

yeah. Alone. I don't understand. I never understood that, but I certainly don't understand it now.

Megan:

Mm-hmm. I got verbally assaulted several times. The, and if you said anything, if you questioned anything, you were called a grandma killer. You all, I mean the names and the vitriol and the hate. But I wasn't walking around going, you dumb ass loser. Why are you wearing that mask? I wasn't doing that. You do you. I'll do me over here. Leave me alone. And that was not the case. And it was just. It was really eye-opening of what fear will do to people

Katiuscia:

and how they will turn so quickly.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

On one another.

Megan:

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Katiuscia:

That was the crazy thing to me. Mm-hmm. The fear induced also the panic, so the panic of buying all of the things. Mm-hmm. If you remember how antibacterial and all of this shit that went. Outta stock immediately. Toilet paper. Yeah, back to, that's probably why it's so expensive today.

Megan:

Probably We had to ship a box of toilet paper, baby wipes and paper towels to family in San Diego because they were on some kind of app or website that would alert you. The second toilet paper came in stock at whatever store, and by the time they got there, it was gone. And they had a baby who was born in January of 2020. You need baby wipes. And it was just, it was, it was bonkers. I watched people at WinCo, the checker would throw a box of toilet paper on the floor and just open the top and people were descending on it, like wild animals on a kill. It was bizarre to me,

Katiuscia:

and I don't think the majority of people learned. Learned afterwards. I don't think they learned how to treat one another. Mm-hmm. I don't think they learned that. You need to be able to make your own decisions and think for yourself, and you can't be buying into all this shit that you're fed on the news. We're gonna, we'll say news, but it's not on the commentary that these people are giving you on the CNN and the Fox and the M SN bbc. Mm-hmm. It's all commentary. Do your research. Find the real news.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

But nobody does that anymore because they just wanna believe what they're told. I

Megan:

think a lot more people.

Katiuscia:

Oh yes. Now they are

Megan:

are doing their own research and I think we've all kind of found our, our communities of people where we can say things and we can question things and we're not gonna get absolutely ostracized or called horrible names or whatever. But there's still a huge contingent of the population that just is in lockstep toe, that line. They have no, again, in a cult

Katiuscia:

Yeah,

Megan:

that, I forgot the word, but control of dissent. Yeah. They, they've got that pretty well locked down and it's, it's pretty gross.

Katiuscia:

I think the other thing though, with all the people that are still so into it, and so, uh, fixated, I don't wanna say brainwashed, but for. I mean, we'll just say brainwashed. I will say for all the people who are still very much into it, you do have that new population. The people like us, the people who you did find your community. That's all great. I think another flip side to that though is also us people who have found our different communities and don't buy into all that shit and recognize the problems it was and how. Problematic it has been to just even recover. I mean, we talked about this. Even in hospitality, nothing is going back the same. It's very, very weird. But you've got these other people that we just don't care anymore, so Oh

Megan:

yeah,

Katiuscia:

we don't care. And that's a beautiful place to be at. Where. I don't care if you're gonna say that I'm a terrible person because I wasn't vaccinated. Fuck you. Who gives a shit? Fuck. What are you to me? I'm okay. So I feel there is that empowerment with ourselves because we were the ones who were all put down mm-hmm. And yelled at and called so many names that now we've risen out of the ashes, like the Phoenix, and we're just, we don't care anymore. Yeah. This is why everything has been coming back too. We were suppressed for so long, but the behavior of so many people just still reflects that It's that it's, it's tumultuous still out there in the world and even online. So yeah, everyone was super emboldened to do it. But even in daily life, COVID aside, it's carried on maybe since then.

Megan:

Oh, for sure.

Katiuscia:

Where these people are terrible and I mean. People in stores, I've been so polite and just asked, excuse me, I just have to get by. Excuse me. And they're so rude to me. And there's part of me that wants to say, ma'am, you're not pretty enough to be this big of a bitch, but you're not. And if and if you were pretty, that's ugly, you shouldn't do that.'cause that makes you ugly. But who are you to do that? To? Just be normal. Yeah. Be cool. I'm being respectful. Everybody lost that ability to just be cool.

Megan:

Yeah,

Katiuscia:

majority of people, not everybody.

Megan:

I think that the people who felt emboldened to call out other people for shit that was really none of their business are still in that machine and they're still being empowered and emboldened to continue to just be an asshole and. I just wanna be left alone. And I think that a lot of those people don't realize that if you keep poking that bear, the people who just wanna be, and it's not a threat, but the people who just wanna be left alone, I just wanna do what I want to do. It's America. Let me just do what I wanna do, and you do what you wanna do. I'm not gonna make fun of you for getting that shot four or five times. It's not a vaccine, it's just an injection, an experimental injection that was proven to not actually. Give any immunity, but I whatever. If you wanna get it, knock yourself out. I don't care. I don't care. But the people who just wanna be left alone and continue to not be left alone are the people who are gonna kick back eventually. Nobody wants that. And it's just the divide is getting bigger and bigger and bigger between the people who feel like they get to be assholes and the people who could really. Punch him in the mouth, so to speak.

Katiuscia:

Right. This is just basic, basic humanity and golden rule type shit. You're out in the world every day. People who work in stores being rude, people who,

Megan:

yeah, I was in retail from the time I was 14 and I, there is no way I would've ever treated people. As a customer in my store, the way that I've been treated in some stores, and it always shocks the hell outta me because if I'm in a retail establishment, I will put on my customer service voice to talk to the employee. I will be placed, especially if my kids are with me.'cause I'm trying to show them how to navigate the world. And so when I have a store employee be rude to me half the time. I can't even respond in that moment because I'm so shocked. Um. No ma'am, right now you're dealing with the healing part of me and I don't think we wanna bring out the hood wrap part of me. I'm not a hood wrap, but you know, you don't wanna bring out the sassy part of me 'cause I'll make you cry. And it's, we had that happen not very long ago.

Katiuscia:

Oh my gosh.

Megan:

And we were at a dip, a well-known department store, and I don't do self-checkout. I refuse to do self checkout.

Katiuscia:

I love it.

Megan:

They don't send me a W2 or a 10 99 at the end of the year. I don't do self checkout. I will wait for the cashier because also I've been a cashier. I could cashier five times faster than those damn self checkout cash cash registers 'cause they make it slow on purpose. And it's just infuriating to me. I get mad and then unidentified object on the belt, go, just fucking ring my shit up. I cannot, it gives me rage. And so I was patiently, politely waiting in line for the cashier and some lady walks over and says, oh ma'am, there's self checkout registers over there. And I very politely said, oh, thanks. I don't do self checkout. And she bullied me. Into going, I'll do it for you. Well, if you're gonna do it for me, then that's fine. It's idiotic, but fine. If you're gonna do that for me, then that's fine. But now I'm annoyed because she caught me off guard and I let her bully me into going over to the self-checkout. So I was really pissed at myself for that, because I should have stood my ground when you tell me you are going to do it for me, which. It implies that you're doing your job. I want it to just be a normal cashier transaction, and then she calls three other people over somehow. Now you're juggling all of our transactions. No thanks. Pound sand. I'll do it myself.

Katiuscia:

I thought she was supposed to do it for you.

Megan:

Exactly.

Katiuscia:

Okay.

Megan:

And she is talking to me in a way that makes it sound like I don't do self-checkout because I don't know how to do self-checkout. I guarantee you I could walk into just about any retail establishment in this country and if I had the correct key code to get into the register, I could check myself out. I could probably get on your phone system and page somebody, I can figure it out. And so I said, you know what? Forget it. I will just do it myself. And she was like, oh no, I said I would do it for you. And I said, no, no, no. To be clear, it's not that I don't know how to do it, it's that I don't work here. But if you're gonna be helping other people at the same time, that's even more time it's gonna take. So I will just do it myself. And at that point, I probably was being a bitch about it. However. In my opinion, as someone who's been in customer service jobs for 30 years, the onus of deescalating, that situation was on her and she chose to ramp it up.

Katiuscia:

She chose violence

Megan:

by saying, ma'am, if you don't want to be here, you can just leave. And I tell you right now that if I did not have to buy those items for my kids, for back to school, I would've fucking left. Because now I have this whole line of people and you know, I really hate attention. I hate it. That kind of attention. No, thank you. I do not want to. No. So I have this whole line of people staring at me, watching this shit go down. My kids are watching me glisten. I'm sorry if I'm being a bitch, but this is ridiculous and I shouldn't have to use self-checkout if I don't wanna use self-checkout. You have cashiers. I would like to use a cashier, but now you force me into a really uncomfortable position. So go away from me and I will ring up these shoes. And I overthought it for the next four days because there were a hundred different things that I could have said and I could have handled, I should have just stayed in the cashier line. I shouldn't have let her bully me. And I was really upset for that. I would've gotten fired if I had done that.

Katiuscia:

First of all, I think the biggest part, and I'm sure you did overthink it 'cause it's just who you are and we, we get it, we overthink and it's fine, but. The fact that a, an employee of an establishment that well known, even spoke to someone like that. That's the shit I'm saying.

Megan:

And it wasn't like she was 20 and she, this is her first ever job. This woman was easily 10 years older than me.

Katiuscia:

Okay.

Megan:

She was probably a manager, which pissed me off more,

Katiuscia:

even more. Yeah.

Megan:

Because again, my customer service standards hearken back to, to a previous time where. Customer service was a thing. And yeah, the fact that she thought that she could, it was just bonkers to me.

Katiuscia:

It's just you are finding this though more and more. Yeah, so that's a very extreme thing I will say. It. I love self-checkout when I'm doing it quick because especially if I'm just there for a couple items, and Target is really notorious for this because Target always has cashiers, but maybe two. And so self-checkout, you just know you're gonna get out quicker because the people in line at the cashier have 37 things in their basket. I don't, what pisses me off is when people in the self-checkout line also have 37 things in their basket. Mm-hmm. And then they don't know how to ring them up. I'm coming in for two items. Yeah. You know, just let me, let me go through, put the limit on it. Make it easy to make it easy to work with, but it's just everywhere you're seeing it. So it's not only just people that you're running into in a normal store, it's people who work there. Everyone has this behavior where they just feel. It's a rude thing though. They want to be free and have this kind of carefree, I don't give a shit what anyone says, and I can do whatever I want. You're employed by someone and you're the face of a company. So I just don't understand why it's allowed. It drives me crazy, this new behavior, and I hate it for the younger generation coming in because we've talked before about the Gen Z stare, but this is different. Mm-hmm. Because this is in. It's an indifference and also it's very apathetic. It feels well

Megan:

and it's an entitlement.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. For any age though. Yeah. Not just the youngs. Yeah. It's, this is anyone who's just treating people this poorly expecting that they can, that it's fine that they can just do that. My gosh, if I ever did that,

Megan:

I had boomers when I was massively pregnant with a toddler. Stand and imply with their body language that I should hold the door open for them.

Katiuscia:

Oh,

Megan:

even as pregnant as I was or whatever I have going on in my life, I never, ever would expect someone to hold the door for me. I am not. I am so freaking low maintenance. It's probably detrimental, but to have whole people who.

Katiuscia:

Whole people

Megan:

have,

Katiuscia:

whole people

Megan:

probably gone through pregnancy and childcare and all of those things. Also then turn around and expect me to do something for them is just, it's gross. And that was pre COVID, so I don't, it's just. People's behavior is,

Katiuscia:

something's a change in it's gross. I will tell you, you will not find this in other countries. Maybe it is just an entitlement attitude that I can do whatever I want. But then you think of how we were raised and how we turned out and how we treat people and how this is affecting us. This bothers us because it's not how we grew up.

Megan:

No,

Katiuscia:

it's not how we treat people. And it's not how people treated each other just a few years, you know, maybe 10 years ago.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

So what happened in the time of just this anger and dislike for your fellow neighbors? And this is state to state because again,

Megan:

yeah,

Katiuscia:

I came from another state, but I still find it here.

Megan:

Well, and even if you travel to other places mm-hmm. It's everywhere and it's. It's wild.

Katiuscia:

Not so much in other countries though. It's here.

Megan:

No, I mean, I meant other states.

Katiuscia:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, I guess another thing about how, how Great America is.

Megan:

I mean, I still love America 'cause I could still tell somebody to fuck off if I really wanted to. You know, if you can back it up, say it. But the problem is, is that these people who are saying these things usually can't back it up.

Katiuscia:

Oh yeah.

Megan:

And I don't want to go to jail, so.

Katiuscia:

No, I love America. I just don't like what people have become recently and in a non-top way, this is just behavior. Yeah, this is, nobody knows how to regulate their own emotions.

Megan:

Oh, not at all. Most people are walking around with the emotional intelligence of an 8-year-old child. Most whole grown adults have the emotional capabilities and ability to regulate themselves of a second grader.

Katiuscia:

That's frightening.

Megan:

It is

Katiuscia:

because these are the people that we are around as adults. It's the people we work with. It's the people we interact with.

Megan:

It's the people we elect. It's our doctors, our mailman, our cops, florists. I don't know everybody, teachers, and they all have temper tantrums. As adults, I've seen more adults have temper tantrums than kids.

Katiuscia:

I just don't get it.

Megan:

I don't either.

Katiuscia:

I don't get it for anything. I see. Also then how people, so on the flip side of you, how people talk to store employees older and younger, and that just mind boggles me because, oh, it'll, I think, oh my, send

Megan:

me into a rage.

Katiuscia:

My goodness. This person that you want to find you something and you're being so cruel to, or

Megan:

this person that's handling your food,

Katiuscia:

I would never, if that's, that's rule number one.

Megan:

Oh,

Katiuscia:

of life skills is don't be rude to the people who are handling your food.

Megan:

Oh, I, I am that meme. They could bring me a bowl of rats and I would say, I'm sorry. I wouldn't even say, I'm sorry. I think you've brought me someone else's bowl of rats. I would just handle it. I, there's no way

Katiuscia:

you don't send it back. No.

Megan:

Oh, no.

Katiuscia:

Oh,

Megan:

oh no. I will not send food back. No.

Katiuscia:

Why?

Megan:

Because No.

Katiuscia:

Oh, no. Uh, listen, as someone who has worked in the restaurant industry,

Megan:

oh, I've seen you send food back.

Katiuscia:

Yeah, but no, I'm saying if you're kind about it, uh, nobody has a problem with it. You, I mean, if you piss off, if you get that one person who's having a bad day, and but. We've all seen waiting. Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. If you're nice to your restaurant, you always should be nice to your hospitality staff and any staff. But when you're nice to your server and you say, this is something's, you know, this isn't right. Isn't what I order legitimately

Megan:

wrong, but nope, I won't send it back.

Katiuscia:

No.

Megan:

But I also think that I've been convinced that even when I think I'm being nice, I can be a bitch.

Katiuscia:

Oh.

Megan:

And so I'm terrified that it's gonna come off wrong and I just, so I'll just deal with it.

Katiuscia:

Oh no.

Megan:

But that's probably one of my toxic traits is I will just do whatever bowl of rats life serves me. I will just deal with it.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. No,

Megan:

it's a learning process for

Katiuscia:

me. It's a journey for Meghan over here. No, you gotta send it back if it's wrong, but there is a way, a time and a place. It's the same way though, with drinks. If I get a drink at a bar. It tastes like shit and it doesn't taste like it's supposed to taste. I'm sending it back. Absolutely.

Megan:

I've only ever had that happen one time where I was like, this tastes like nail polish remover. Right. I think I'm going to die. I appreciate the overpour, but I might die if I drink this. Can we split it into two and make it a little better? But I, that bartender was my roommate.

Katiuscia:

Mm.

Megan:

And that's the only reason. Okay. Otherwise, I would've just drank it.

Katiuscia:

Wow. Nope. I will. And is this, this is not a high maintenance thing, but this is, if I'm going out somewhere where I'm paying $24 for a salad or $15 for a cocktail that I'm obviously not making at home, I want the whole experience. I'm tipping you on this experience. Also, I just, I want the whole experience and if it's not right. Either I'm not coming back or I'm gonna have a really literal, bad taste in my mouth. It's not gonna be a good experience. If it's wrong and if it's bad, I always send it back. I do it with grace and kindness and I've never had a problem. And even people who have asked me in the past when I was in the industry. They're doing it nicely. If you're cool and you're doing it politely, it's not a problem. They want you to be happy. They want you to keep coming back and ordering more shit. And if you're happy with your meal, maybe you're gonna get dessert. Maybe you're gonna stay longer, maybe you're gonna get another drink. There's always a, there's an upcharge to every Sure. You know, you want, you want them happy 'cause then they stay longer and get more shit.

Megan:

No. And from, like I said, 30 years of customer service positions, I 100% that is how I operate. But I am broken and I can't do that.

Katiuscia:

Gosh.

Megan:

So I need you or you

Katiuscia:

know. Yeah. We're going to, this is the next field trip is we'll order something and be like, send it back. Send it back Right now I'll

Megan:

eat this bowl of rats.

Katiuscia:

Don't eat the bowl of rats. Send it back there. No way. It's just, it's a whole world thing and it makes me really sad because. This emotional intelligence that so many people are lacking. These are such important people in just in the world, but also to be able to make these decisions in business, in whatever it is. Mm-hmm. Whatever industry they're in, whatever business they're dealing with. I just never understand. I can't, I think I probably sometimes have these mental. Blips and meltdowns where I start overanalyzing everything that's going on in the world, but also in my immediate world. So in my city and my job and everything that I'm involved with on a daily basis, and you start thinking of the behavior of people around you and you think, oh my gosh, I'm on the internet all the time. Right? I see the behavior of people on the internet. They're so bold. They're so cruel. And yes, like I said, sometimes if you're laughing about something, there is a fine line though between cruel and saying things that could potentially push someone who's maybe fragile over the edge. But then the flip side of the argument is you knowingly posted this on the internet. Yeah. You actively made the personal choice to put this on the internet. Yeah. Therefore, open yourself up to whatever comes back, because the internet is not a nice place. It's a hilarious place.

Megan:

Oh, for sure. We love it. It's the wild west. But there is a fine line because I think if it's something innocent or look, I made these cookies or I can't think of a good example, and then people just rip it to shreds. That's asshole behavior. But can we stop posting people crying? Can people stop? Posting videos of themselves crying. I do have a friend, I will say I love her dearly, and she will get on her Instagram stories and be talking about how grateful she is, and she will start crying. And I know that that's her genuine personality. And so that doesn't bother me because she will make it through or she'll stop and get it together. But it's not like she hit record. Like the people who hit record and then cry in their car.

Katiuscia:

Oh.

Megan:

And then watch it back and go, yeah, that's it. And they post that. No. Get a therapist buddy. I can't. It's, and it's that fine line of, we were raised in the eighties where you got made fun of for crying. Couldn't I? If I cry in public, if I cry at work, I'm drinking. I don't, Nope. That day is gone. It's a, it's a goner.

Katiuscia:

I feel like the difference though, is you can't handle that shit. That's something you cannot handle, but you're still never gonna comment. The Megan? The Megan who won't return food. Oh. And we'll sit with no, you'll never comment,

Megan:

would judge you silently? Yes. I'm not gonna comment.

Katiuscia:

I will never comment. No.

Megan:

There are definitely cringey videos that those people know that they're gonna get roasted in the comments, and some of those comments are freaking hilarious. And so that it's a fine line of being raised in a time where everybody got ridiculed for everything and everybody had a thicker skin. But also, let's be maybe a little, let's maybe show people a little more grace. It's a very fine line for me.

Katiuscia:

I think it's a fine line though for everybody, and I think the people who post that kind of stuff on the internet, especially if they have larger followings, they know that any engagement boosts their numbers. So even if it's people writing in these hate comments. And upset and making fun and trash talking and resharing it. How many things do you and I just reshare we share to one another. We're not commenting. It's still counting for engagement for that person. Yeah, because we're passing it along, but I think a lot of them do it for that. I think you are. Well,

Megan:

any attention is good attention.

Katiuscia:

The publicity rule.

Megan:

If you're in a fragile mental health state. Yeah, don't post it on the internet.

Katiuscia:

Maybe don't post it. Yeah.

Megan:

And or have your account on lockdown. So it's just only the people who actually love you. That should be a lesson that we're teaching all the kids. Here's how to use the internet. If it's gonna hurt your feelings, don't post it.

Katiuscia:

Right. Or just get thicker skin and stop letting your feelings be hurt by anything, knowing that whatever you post, I always go into anything I post online. That I'm gonna post it and I don't care. You have to not care. Mm-hmm. You have to just not give any shits whatsoever. Yeah. Because if you do, that's the moment that you're gonna start deep diving into all of those comments and really analyzing them and, oh my gosh, did I do this? And did I say this? Did I offend this? No, I don't. I just don't care. I have to post it and be stoked with it and let's, I guess, here we go. Just set the fire. Watch a bird.

Megan:

I'm not going back to watch it 'cause.

Katiuscia:

You just leave it and you just just walk away.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

That's all you can do. Once it's on, it's on, and it's still on. Because even if you delete something,

Megan:

oh, the internet is forever.

Katiuscia:

If it had gone viral in a short time span that has been shared and followed, pushed so many times that it's on, someone has it, so it's never, it's kinda like the tweets. Tweets slash or x, whatever they're called now posts, I don't know, but Twitter. Is forever because

Megan:

Yeah,

Katiuscia:

someone's posted it, especially in the political realm and that shit never dies. Someone has screenshotted everything that someone has said

Megan:

all

Katiuscia:

the time.

Megan:

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Well, and I think Joe Rogan in his infinite wisdom says, don't read the comments.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. Don't read

Megan:

that for good or for bad.'cause you don't need a big head, but you also don't need these random strangers to devastate you. That's not healthy for anybody.

Katiuscia:

No. And a lot of them are bots also.

Megan:

Yeah. The dead internet theory is interesting.

Katiuscia:

What theory is this?

Megan:

It's that there's no real people on the internet. What? It's all bots.

Katiuscia:

All of it.

Megan:

I don't think it's all of it.

Katiuscia:

Majority

Megan:

because we are on it. No, I

Katiuscia:

know. We're on it. So

Megan:

majority. Yeah. That's one theory and nobody can really prove how many people on X are real people versus bots. Wow. And they don't know. That's a, a theory to look into. I haven't really looked into it, but I've heard it discussed.

Katiuscia:

That's really interesting. I never even, I never even thought of that

Megan:

because I don't, I'm not operating at a level where I even, I mean, yes, bots pop up all the time, you know, in the form of hot girl accounts with random letters and numbers in their names. Do I think that those are real hot girls that wanna talk to me? No, I know better than that. So I just share your

Katiuscia:

story. Wait, who's this?

Megan:

Yeah. But, but yeah, so people think that. Most of the internet is now bots.

Katiuscia:

Oh, that's fascinating.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

I mean, I could actually probably see it, especially these, these videos that get so much traction so quickly, that to me is, oh my gosh, everyone was on at the same time and everybody saw this all right away.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

It's just insane. I wish that we could all remember that. You're going to have to answer for something you've said there will be accountability. I think the internet is so. Good for a lot of people because they love the Anonym Anon anonymity of it. We did it. But other than that, I feel these are, you still have to interact in real life. You can't always be hidden behind a screen. And I just feel this attitude of, I can say whatever I want. I can treat people however I want. I just don't know what happened to. Just the good old fashioned. Be nice to others, treat others with kindness. It's such a basic rule, and yet it's so complex because majority of people won't follow it. And so it feels like the people who do, the people who are kind are getting less and less.

Megan:

Yeah, absolutely. Well, and the people who have made a concerted effort to expand their emotional intelligence make themselves. Recognize their flaws make themselves a better person. Are constantly having to deal with people who do not, will not improve themselves.

Katiuscia:

I feel those people who are doing the work though also are the those who can see through other people.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

Right. Example, women and men who, men who can see the games and the shit that men pull. The manipulative tactics. Oh yeah. And women who can see the manipulative tactics that women pull, men aren't gonna see it.

Megan:

No.

Katiuscia:

And same as women aren't gonna see it from men.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

The we're the same sex will recognize it.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

Only if you've done that work though. Yeah. Only if you've really tried to expand who you are and grow and not just buy into this subpar mental, emotional state.

Megan:

Yep. It's

Katiuscia:

terrible.

Megan:

It is.

Katiuscia:

But there are some wild shit with this manipul, the manipulation that I've seen that you've seen other women do, that we've talked about before.

Megan:

Oh, it's, it's wild

Katiuscia:

and it's so obvious you,

Megan:

it's so obvious,

Katiuscia:

but apparently it's not. Yeah. That's crazy.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

Some big name situations where you're just,

Megan:

oh yeah,

Katiuscia:

you believe this. You think this happened? You think this is true? Okay. Okay.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

I mean, I guess when it's not your circus and not your monkeys, I guess it's fine, but I also don't like liars so

Megan:

Well, it's not even outright lying. It's just, like you said, it's just manipulation,

Katiuscia:

right?

Megan:

It's just watching. And so I have no doubt that it goes the same way for men watching men, but as a female watching another female tilt a head, touch an arm just, and put on this whole other face to talk to a man, then when she's talking to a woman, it's, and yes, you're gonna, you treat different people differently. There's nuance to it, but watching that happen is a trip and it's hard to point out without sounding like a bitch, and it's really hard to call out another woman for manipulative behavior without seeming like you're jealous or you're catty.

Katiuscia:

That's a very valid point though, because, excuse me, as I choke as women, we always have that. The, what's the, the stigma of women is also always super dramatic, super emotional, super bitchy, super jealous. You can name it. And we've, women have been called it. So of course when you see something and you're thinking, I, I literally don't, I mean, it i's not affecting me personally. I'm just a little confused as to how you cannot see this.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

Especially when it's something. Where it's very either close to home, right? You know, the people very well involved, or on a larger scale where these people have either a platform or a story or something where so many people are buying it.

Megan:

Notoriety.

Katiuscia:

Notoriety.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

It's. A little. Just Mm. Really? Yeah. You're not seeing this and so many people are buying into it. So you feel that these people, especially if it's people you know and love, that they're getting conned and scammed by this person, that you know who she is.

Megan:

Yep.

Katiuscia:

That's hard.

Megan:

It is so hard

Katiuscia:

because you can't say anything because you are a bitch then.

Megan:

Yeah. I wonder, I wonder if men do feel that way.'cause I feel like, I mean, I grew up with four brothers. So the amount of times they'd be like, Nope. Flag on the play. No, that guy's full of shit. Stay away from him. And I never once was like, okay, drama. And so I wonder if men do feel that way when they call out other men on their bullshit.

Katiuscia:

Oh,

Megan:

so I wanna know that.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. Men we'd like to know,

Megan:

because also I grew up with brothers. Men are great, but most women aren't letting a sports team of people they've never met ruin their whole fucking day. So you wanna talk about dramatic, I'm just gonna throw that out there. I do know, I do know some women who will let a sports team ruin their whole day, but just, I'm just tired of being called dramatic for standing up for myself or whatever.

Katiuscia:

For anything.

Megan:

Yeah. And, and calling out poor behavior,

Katiuscia:

we should be able to call out poor behavior.

Megan:

Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

Especially if we, if it's so blatantly obvious and we see it and everyone should be able to see it. And just the fact that you're getting manipulated into not seeing it. That just, and it's, it's when they, it's when women use their Wiley ways too.

Megan:

It is

Katiuscia:

that their, the manipulation can really tack on. So if you. When you see that, and again, especially when it's people you know and are close to and you're just, you wanna say something, but then what is the, what is the feedback gonna be on the fact that you shared. This insight, this legitimate insight, then you're coming off as either jealous, dramatic, bitchy, mm-hmm. Whatever it is. And that's not the case at all. So I'm not saying I'm not speaking for anyone but us.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

Because I'm sure that there are cases where women are doing it because they're jealous and all the things. But I just, I guess I never understand. I never wanna be manipulated, ever. And so I never wanna see if I see it on someone else, I've been manipulated. I don't want that. Yeah. If I see it happening to someone that I know and care about, I wanna tell them. But there's such a gentle, there's a way to do it that I'm still trying to figure out how. Without coming across as it's a me issue, making it up and blowing something out of proportion.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

I'm sorry that it just doesn't sit well if it, if it's a gut feeling that's, you know, listen to your gut. But if it's more than a gut feeling, that's a crazy thing. Just with behavior in general, how women can see things for women, how men can see things for men. Mm-hmm.

Megan:

Well, and seeing men that either. I don't know them personally, but you've watched a man who is a great interviewer, who normally calls people out on their bullshit, or a man that I do know who normally can see right through all that, and you watch them get the wool pulled over their eyes by a female. It's shocking

Katiuscia:

and disappointing.

Megan:

It is so disappointing. It's really

Katiuscia:

disappointing.

Megan:

Yeah. Yeah. That's happened. I can, I can think of two very, the one that's on a famous level we've discussed in private, and we're not gonna call anybody out on it, but it was wild. Mm-hmm. To watch this guy who normally is a great interviewer and is normally very capable of saying, wait, wait, wait, hold up. Just kind of fan girl all over this, this female who was very clearly to us just full of shit.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. That was disturbing.

Megan:

Yeah. And, and then yeah, in, in my personal life, I've seen it happen and, and been told no, she would never, bro, I'm watching this happen

Katiuscia:

unfolding right before my eyes.

Megan:

Yeah. And then for me to get labeled as, you know, the problem or jealous or whatever. And then years later, come to find out, oh, I was right.

Katiuscia:

Oh,

Megan:

isn't that, oh, look at that.

Katiuscia:

Oh, wow. What a, who would've ever thought that we would've been, right? Yeah. About something that we called out years ago.

Megan:

Yeah. It's weird. It's a weird, it's a weird feeling, yeah. To see people's behavior like that.'cause women definitely operate on a different level of subterfuge than men, and so that's, I really want to know if men have a similar experience or not.

Katiuscia:

Yeah. Where they can call it out, see it right away.

Megan:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Katiuscia:

I feel they can. I mean, so yeah, we'd like to know. We'd like you to write in and comment about that, but it's just, I feel everyone needs to tone it down with their behavior. Just watch, be mindful, I guess, of the behavior. The same thing you would tell kids.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

Watch your words. Be cool. Treat others with kindness and respect something broke in the world.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

If, I mean pre COVID, you were, you were saying pre COVID. So something broke. Something really broke during COVID. I mean, it went full shatter mode during COVID, but we just need to get back to I, I'd love some kind of harmony. There's never gonna be harmony, but at least politeness with people.

Megan:

Yeah.

Katiuscia:

I just don't understand why people find it so necessary and easy to be such an asshole. There's no reason. There's literally no reason. There are people that I would actively choose to not hang out with because I've got nothing in common with them, and maybe they hurt me in the past and I don't like them very much.

Megan:

Sure.

Katiuscia:

But does that mean I'm an asshole to them? No. No. It means that I just choose to omit them from my life, and I don't hang out with them and I don't talk to them, and that's fine. And that's called managing it. However, you gotta manage it without being a dick. That's what I'm doing, so I just don't understand why everyone can't do that. Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you need to take it out on everyone you encounter.

Megan:

Yeah. Your

Katiuscia:

grow up,

Megan:

your emotions should not dictate your manners.

Katiuscia:

Right. Yeah.

Megan:

And also I'm a big fan of approaching any situation with curiosity. Like again, just because you are so dang afraid doesn't mean that you get to come at me because I'm not doing what you are doing. Why don't you say, Hey, why aren't you wearing a mask? Instead of just coming at me like a spider monkey? Approach it with curiosity. There's usually a why, and I think if we give each other enough grace to learn the why. It's a lot harder to be a dick to somebody if you understand where they're coming from.

Katiuscia:

Sure.

Megan:

So

Katiuscia:

that makes sense.

Megan:

Get back to manners and ask some questions.

Katiuscia:

Get back to manners and ask questions.

Megan:

Yeah. And don't be a dick.

Katiuscia:

Watch your words. Mind your manners. Yeah. And what was the last one?

Megan:

Don't be a dick.

Katiuscia:

There it is. And. Make sure you follow and do all the things and

Megan:

like and subscribe and send us emails,

Katiuscia:

send us emails and comments and love letters and coffee and toilet paper and office supplies and all the things and

Megan:

cars.

Katiuscia:

Our list is just gonna get longer and longer and funny greeting cards also. And have a good day to everyone, except if you invite me to an event saying that you're serving cocktails and then it's just beer and wine. You're a dirty, dirty liar.

Megan:

Alright.