Don't Ignore Theses RED FLAGS When Dating…2 Brothers Lost Their Lives

Welcome back to Chats With Michelle! Today, I’m sharing the importance of leaving a toxic relationship. My sincerest condolences to the family.

📰 News Articles:
https://wsvn.com/news/local/miami-dade/memorial-held-for-brothers-killed-while-trying-to-protect-sister/#google_vignette
https://nypost.com/2026/05/06/us-news/florida-brothers-shot-dead-by-their-sisters-boyfriend-after-they-rushed-to-apartment-to-protect-her-cops/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

There was a recent viral breaking news story of a young lady's two younger brothers who lost their lives. There's that saying that, you know, nice guys finish last, and a lot of times you want to go for the bad guy or maybe the guy that doesn't treat you well. I think that's probably one of the biggest mistakes. It might start off mildly now while you guys are dating, but it could only and will only get worse. It was just the aggressiveness and snatching me back and the look in his eyes where I felt like I'm kind of scared of him. Hey, what's up, you guys? Welcome and welcome back to Chats with Michelle, where we chat all things keeping your promises to yourself through navigating adulthood and pursuing purpose. So there was recently a viral breaking news story that came out. And essentially what it was is that two young men lost their lives due to wanting or attempting to protect their sister. Now, if you are unfamiliar with the story, if you haven't heard about the story, I'll go ahead and give you a high-level overview of pretty much what the findings have been so far, at least what I've seen so far in the news. And I want to be clear here about my position on this story and even like my whole reasoning behind wanting even to chat about it, talk about it, etc., is first and foremost, I want to say that I'm not here or I'm not bringing this up or even deciding to discuss this to pass judgment because I think it's easy to say what you would and wouldn't do if you weren't in that situation. Because most of us have dated before, and some of us would say maybe you didn't make so not so good choices, some things that you would have done differently. So it's really just coming from that angle of navigating adulthood and what I would tell a younger sister or woman in general. And I'm also going to be vulnerable and share a situation that I believe could have turned abusive and bad had I not recognized the red flags, and how you too can recognize those red flags. There was a recent viral breaking news story of a young lady's two younger brothers who lost their lives in the attempt to protect their sister. Essentially, she was in a from what is told a violent relationship, and her brothers went over to their apartment where the sister and the boyfriend was living. To make a very long story short, the boyfriend ended up taking those two young men's lives. He is now behind bars. So I'll be sure to leave articles, news, videos, and all the things below if you want to go more deeply into that. But the reason why I really wanted to just have a chat about this is because I think when we're young, right? Especially, I mean, grown folks do it too, but especially when you're young, you know how there's that saying that you know, nice guys finish last, and a lot of times you want to go for the bad guy or maybe the guy that doesn't treat you well. And I think that's probably one of the biggest mistakes that we can make, especially as young women and women in general, right? But it's a very, very big mistake. You know, there's another saying that says, Love is a verb, it's an action, it's not just lip service, but it's something that something that you just see in your partner's action each and every day. It's not the fact that they're just telling you it, but that they're showing it to you. Now, in this story, based off of the news reports and everything like that, that's been coming out when the young lady's boyfriend fatally took her younger brother's lives, he turned to her and said, You see what you made me do? So we're talking about manipulation, right? And like I said, not necessarily sitting and focusing so much on that situation, but more so, what are some of the red flags that you should identify when you are dating, getting to know someone in a relationship, and that you should turn from quickly. This is a very long time ago now, right? I was in my early 20s, and there was this guy that I liked. We liked each other, and things were going well, we were getting to know each other, you know, the whole talking phase and everything. That's like the phase we were in. But we had been talking to each other for a while. However, one of the things that I noticed about him, and I kind of just pushed it back, was that he wasn't like he was um what's the word I'm looking for? I think the word that I'm looking for is condescending. I think that's the word. He was a bit condescending, he was really nice most of the times, but when he didn't get his way, he would say little condescending things. It would hurt my feelings a little bit, but I kind of just like was just like, all right, like whatever, he's tripping, whatever, whatever, whatever. So I would say that is the first red flag, right? If you are dating someone who is just not nice, they say little things that make you feel a little insecure or try to make you look dumb or not even not nice to you, but they're not nice to other people, right? They're incredibly irritable and impatient, they're not nice to the wait staff or when they're out, just you want to look at those things because it might start off mildly now while you guys are dating, but it could only and will only get worse. Let's get back to the story. So I noticed this about him, but I I ignored it. Truthfully, truth be told, I ignored it. And there was one evening we went out on like a date, and we had a disagreement. Honestly, I couldn't even tell you what the disagreement was about, but I remember how I felt that night, which made me take the following steps. So we got in a disagreement, and I just remember myself just being like, ugh, like whatever, like getting ready to walk away. I was like, because we were standing outside of I think the restaurant, or we were standing outside of the place that we were at, whatever. Um, and I was just like, ugh, like whatever. And I was getting to turn my body away to be like, I don't want to have this conversation. And this man gripped my arm with like so firm and like yanked me back around, kind of like, where are you going? He didn't say that, but that was the vibe, and he like snatched me up, he and like turned me back around. And I remember in that moment feeling afraid, like I remember just being like, like I like he looks scary right now, and he, you know, to be fair, he didn't do anything else, nothing else happened, like it didn't escalate any more from there or whatever. But it was just the aggressiveness and snatching me back and the look in his eyes where I felt like I'm kind of scared of him. Like in this moment, I feel afraid, you know, and I don't even want to know if I really pissed him off what he may or may not do, but all I know, I just made a mental note, you know, we wrapped up the night, went, you know, dropped me off home or whatever. And I was like, Yeah, I had to put two and two together and be like, Yeah, you know, like when he doesn't get his way, he says like little condescending things, like he's not, he's a little bit harsh with his words, and then that night of the aggressiveness, I was like, you know what? Yeah, as much as I liked him, and I did, I liked him, I was incredibly attracted to him. I was, I liked him a lot, but I realized it doesn't matter how attracted I am to him, I don't feel safe. I say all that to say that in that moment I had to make a decision. I had to make a decision, like, yeah, um, I have to wrap this up right now. I can't, there's no way. I so immediately I blocked his number. I unfollowed him off of like all the socials, all the things, and just everything. And for a while, he was like finding different ways to contact me and kept blowing me up and all the different things. But I was like, Yeah, I have to, I have to remove myself. I mean, well, before I blocked him and stuff like that, I did tell him I was like, Yeah, I don't think this is gonna work, and then I blocked him, and yeah, I was like blowing me up and all the different things, and I just say all that to say, don't wait for things to get worse, especially when you have that feeling in your gut. That feeling in your gut, I do believe is discernment, it's discernment, and you have to listen to it. For me, I just had a feeling of like, yeah, I don't, I don't know, I don't know about this guy. I was like, Yeah, I don't I don't think I can continue further. Editing Michelle here because I realized I didn't say this when I originally sat down and had this chat. Another part that's so incredibly important and vital is recognizing that when you decide to ignore the red flags, you unintentionally put your family and your loved ones, people who love you in harm's way. Going back to the story at hand of these brothers, you know, from the information that we have who want to go and protect their sister, they ended up losing their lives because of it. So you really want to think about the people who love you and who would quite literally go to the end of the earth for you. And with knowing that, it is, I believe, our responsibilities to choose wisely if we can. Easier said than done if you're in the relationship in the situation. Like, I understand that that's a different situation altogether, but I'm more so focusing on with the navigating adulthood and what I would tell a friend, a younger sister, etc., is that when you see those red flags early, do not ignore them. My goodness, do not ignore them. Like, thank God the flags and the alerts came up. Now it's for you not to just kind of brush it past and be like, oh, well, he didn't mean it. Because that's what I did. I shared with you. That's exactly what I did in the beginning. I was like, okay, like whatever, but it's like, no, don't ignore those things because they only snowball and get worse. And not for nothing, too. I think similar to men, you know, they always say that men love a chase and they like a challenge and all the things like that. But if we were being honest, sometimes as women, I think that we like a little bit of a chase too. We like, you know, we well, you and you should, you know, we want to make the man work for it and all the things like that. But it's like there has to be a point, there has to be your non-negotiables and things you won't tolerate, right? So, like you making me feel crazy, like that's not gonna work, you know. So I just wanted to chat about this because when I seen this story come out and just like my goodness, my heart just it broke for the entire situation. My heart broke. If I could help possibly, or this be the right message, right on time for someone of just like navigating or more so recognizing the red flags and choosing to make a decision that might hurt and might not be what you want to do in the moment, but your future self will thank you for it. Like, I think myself a hundred times over because of just other things about that person in that situation, but it's just like your future self will thank you for it. So you're so valuable, you're so worth it. There are other people who would love to get to know you and won't degrade you. So, anyways, um, with that being said, I hope that you found this chat valuable. And if you did find this chat valuable, please consider sharing it with someone who may also find this chat valuable. And while you're at it, please be sure to like, comment, and subscribe. Oh my goodness, before I wrap this up, I want to say thanks so much to everyone who just watched and commented on the last video that I made or the last chat that I made about just the whole woman empowerment and that whole thing, and just oh my goodness, there's so much conversation, so much dialogue. So I want to say thank you to everyone who watched it and everyone who subscribed. So, again, now with that being said, please, you know, if you're enjoying these chats, like, comment, and subscribe because listen, we've got so much to chat about. Bye.