Saying NO And Walking Away Is Not Giving Up… It's Growing Up

Welcome back to Chats With Michelle! Today, I’m sharing the importance of picking your battles. 

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Transcript

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You realize as you get older how valuable your peace is. I think oftentimes we would inconvenience ourselves to make things better for others or to kind of you know just to get along, go along to get along more than anything in life. I truly believe. Hey, what's up, you guys? Welcome or welcome back to Chats with Michelle, where we chat all things keeping your promises to yourself through navigating adulthood and pursuing purpose. And in today's chat, I want to talk about all things peace. If you're anything like me, you realize as you get older how valuable your peace is. My goodness, think about it. When you're like in high school and just grade school and all the things, and just like the cattiness that can go on with that, and even when you're young and in your like early 20s and stuff like that, and how just like you're here, there, and everywhere, and just a lot of time just going all around and just doing the absolute most. But as you get older and you get wiser, you know, we talk about navigating adulthood and all the things, you realize how valuable or invaluable is that the word your peace actually is. And this whole entire topic came to mind to me because I was recently at my small group and we were talking about just change and just how to navigate change and and and everything that comes with that. And one of the things that came up within that conversation was peace, and I was sharing how like I think that at this place stage and age in my life, I genuinely pick and choose my battles. I really, really, really do. Like, I've learned that my peace is so valuable, and there are just certain things that I have no desire to waste my time with because I choose peace ultimately overall. I really do try not to worry myself with the things that I cannot control, easier said than done, right? And depending on the place and space and time in my of my life, then some of those practices are easier. However, more than anything, when it comes to me and other people, I try my very, very, very, very best to control my inner peace because I truly believe, and it's it is true, that we can only control what's going on with ourselves, we can't control what other people are gonna do to us, but we can control how we react to it, we can control how we set ourselves up. And I think ultimately one of the biggest lessons in my life that I had to learn is setting myself with realistic expectations. Like if I know that I'm going to, for whatever reason, have to enter a space that might be stressful or maybe not the most favorable place that I would like to be, etc. I have learned to mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to enter or encounter. Now, obviously, you don't want to purposely be putting yourself in like, you know, a toxic situation or everything like that, but sometimes you can't really control. Well, what am I trying to say? Sometimes you have to be in places, spaces, situations, whatever it is. So for myself, it's like I have I learned to mentally prepare myself and mentally have a peace and solace within my soul and within my spirit. Like, I am not going to allow your poor planning or your agitation or your attitude to disrupt my spirit. I'll simply remove myself from the situation and or just have an internal, um, an internal agreement, I guess is what I'm looking for, the words that I'm looking for with myself that I've already decided like I am not going to allow any of this to phase me because I choose, I choose not to be stressed. I have grown, you know, as I've gotten older and navigating adulthood and all the things that I don't always need to have the last word. I think that is also picking and choosing your battles and choosing peace and knowing when and when not to have certain kinds of conversations. So, you know, the first part being yes, you don't always have to have the last word, you know, you don't always have to force your point across. And then two is time and place, right? And just just knowing when is the right time and place to have conversations, you know, essentially I said that already, but ultimately, I think more than anything, as I'm getting older, and one thing that I'm learning is how to regulate uh my emotions. One of the best books that I've read in the last couple years, it was called The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. And why I love that book so much is because literally the whole thing talks about offense. And once I got that book into my spirit, it convicted me so bad and so hard. But ultimately, more than anything, it just kind of drove home the point of the importance of not being one easily offended, but also not allowing the offense to stick with you because I am someone who oh my goodness, I used to and still do, I ain't gonna lie, I still do at times, I would get so offended. I would get so offended, or I would just take offense to things so easily. And that was honestly, I feel like that's a character flaw. That's a character flaw. If you're someone who just hold on holds on to offense and never lets it go, and that is something that I have been working on for years and years and years, and now in learning to choose a side of peace more than anything, I am learning that even when I am offended, to learn to let it go and let it go quickly, allow God to handle it and just move on. And even in those moments where I feel like I'm still having a hard time, I just can't shake this feeling. I constantly am just like, Lord, please help me with this, help me with this because I want to be done with it. And I think more than anything, more than any kind of money that you can make, any career advancement, anything, more than anything in life, I truly believe that the most rewarding kind of life is a life that is peaceful, as peaceful as it can possibly be, right? Obviously, no one's life is perfect, but choosing peace above all else. And it's not to say that only your peace is important and no one else's peace is important, and you're gonna go into spaces and wreak havoc. Like, no, I don't mean that at all. However, I'm saying that I think oftentimes we would inconvenience ourselves to make things better for others, or to kind of, you know, just to get along, go along to get along, and that is the big one of you know, I talk about everything I say, I feel like it's the biggest lesson. But I feel like I've learned so much as I'm getting older, being more bold, being a lot bolder, and just you know, speaking up and different things like that. But I think more than anything, it's like not overly bending over backwards and like you know, just being my spirit being so distraught because I'm trying to like, you know, not rock the boat. So I feel like more than anything, choosing the path that leads to a peaceful life is ultimately what I think is one of the best things that you can do as you're navigating adulthood. And with that being said, thanks so much for chatting with me. Listen, if you found this chat valuable, please consider sharing it with someone who may also find this chat valuable. And while you're at it, please be sure to like, comment, and subscribe because listen, we've got so much to chat about.