WEBVTT 00:00:01.919 --> 00:00:04.480 I want to share a testimony before the testimony. 00:00:05.599 --> 00:00:11.279 So my wife, she's a doula, an amazing wife, an amazing mom. 00:00:12.320 --> 00:00:15.919 I had this vision of what this morning was gonna look like. 00:00:17.039 --> 00:00:28.960 I was gonna wake up early and be with the Lord and pray, worship, quiet time, then come here and do my thing. 00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:31.519 But right around, what was it, nine? 00:00:31.679 --> 00:00:39.439 Nine o'clock last night, uh, she was like, oh, my client's water broke, so I'm gonna have to go to a berth. 00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:41.920 And I'm just like, oh gosh, what? 00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:51.679 So my mind went to she's not even gonna be there, and then it went to what am I gonna do? 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:53.520 What am I gonna do, right? 00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:58.399 Which is very selfish, but thank God she's here today. 00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:00.799 Woohoo! Yeah. 00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:07.920 It was a quick birth, but also my morning didn't look like the way I thought it was. 00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:10.239 Um, I thought I was gonna get up early, right? 00:01:10.480 --> 00:01:13.120 I had my two daughters sleeping right next to me. 00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:15.519 I tried to sneak out of bed, they wouldn't let me. 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:20.400 Um, so I'm just like kind of praying like this, uh looking at the ceiling. 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:26.640 Um did their hair, not as good as my wife does it, but we all made it. 00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:27.599 Praise the Lord. 00:01:27.760 --> 00:01:28.640 We all made it. 00:01:28.879 --> 00:01:30.000 So, yeah. 00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:37.840 Um so I shared this testimony back in this back in like March. 00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:40.640 Um I definitely refined it. 00:01:40.799 --> 00:01:44.079 Um I feel like it's better today than it was then. 00:01:44.239 --> 00:01:46.079 I shared it with PB. 00:01:46.719 --> 00:01:51.280 Um and here's my Pastor Brad impression. 00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:54.480 Uh just throwing it out there. 00:01:56.079 --> 00:02:04.400 How about you how how do you think about sharing this to the church? 00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:07.280 I'm just like, what? 00:02:07.680 --> 00:02:08.800 Are you what? 00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:18.719 Um so I did a personality test a couple uh month or maybe last year, um, disc, if you've heard of disc assessment before. 00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:23.120 So it was a biblical disc, and it came with your chosen biblical character. 00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:25.280 And mine is Moses. 00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:28.479 So I identify with Moses so much. 00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:36.960 If you remember the story where the burning bush and God called him to save his people out of Egypt, right? 00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:39.120 And Moses was like, What, bro? 00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:40.240 You got the wrong dude. 00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:41.280 That was my first thought. 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:43.360 I was like, bro, you got the wrong dude. 00:02:45.280 --> 00:02:50.400 But I remembered who created me. 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:53.360 God told Moses, Who created your mouth? 00:02:54.960 --> 00:02:59.840 I remembered in Ephesians 2.10 that I am his handiwork. 00:03:00.719 --> 00:03:08.080 I was reminded in Matthew 10.19 when Jesus said, Do not worry about what to say or how to say it. 00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:17.039 At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:19.680 So I'm resting in that today. 00:03:19.919 --> 00:03:22.800 Before I get any further, I want to pray. 00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:30.000 If you bow your heads with me, Lord we Father, I just thank you for this opportunity. 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:34.479 I thank you for this opportunity to share uh my testimony and my story. 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:42.159 Um even though it's my testimony, this is a notch in your boat. 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:44.719 This is your story, your glory. 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:50.560 So I pray that you move me aside and just help me make you proud today. 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:52.319 I pray that in Jesus' name. 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:53.199 Amen. 00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:58.639 Let's jump right into it and read the scripture. 00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:01.039 Um, so if you are able, please stand. 00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:02.879 And can you help me read the scripture today? 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:07.520 So we're gonna read in uh Psalm 27, verses 1 through 6. 00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:11.919 Okay, one, two, three. 00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:15.680 The Lord's my life is subdivision. 00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:17.920 Who shall I fear? 00:04:18.160 --> 00:04:23.199 The Lord is the strength of my likes, of a fool shall I eat fray. 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:38.399 When a wake, you be in my ethice and my foes, came upon the sea that by flesh, keep them a little in a thou, though a will stitchy speech my heart shall not fear. 00:04:38.560 --> 00:05:03.439 O Horsiver eyes gasky and this our naked pocket what faith I threw a little seep after that of in the house of the board all the days of my lightly folk hear ye of a lord and suppire this bravery design trouble. 00:05:03.839 --> 00:05:10.959 He shall hide thee the sick scaper that sh be hide thee. 00:05:11.199 --> 00:05:21.439 He sh be my empty spout me. 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:27.759 Therefore I offer sacrifices of joy. 00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:33.920 I will sing yeah, I will sing praises, sons of the Lord. 00:05:34.399 --> 00:05:35.120 Let's go. 00:05:35.199 --> 00:05:36.560 This is the word of the Lord. 00:05:37.920 --> 00:05:39.519 I've always wanted to do that. 00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:41.680 Always wanted to do that. 00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:51.040 Oh, I love the Psalms so much because of the range of emotions that it shows. 00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:56.959 From happiness all the way to anger, sadness, and despair. 00:05:57.680 --> 00:06:00.639 We see many examples of that throughout the Psalms. 00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:05.120 So as a mental health advocate, I'm encouraged to see this. 00:06:05.519 --> 00:06:09.680 Also, as a former athlete, I can kind of identify with David a little bit. 00:06:09.839 --> 00:06:12.959 So there's always references between warriors and athletes, right? 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:14.879 We prepare for battle, right? 00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:17.120 In practice, in the weight room. 00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:19.920 Um, David did the same. 00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:24.399 If you've been an athlete before, you can you can relate. 00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:37.199 Um also, I love how David sets an example on how to feel all these emotions, how to feel them out loud. 00:06:37.759 --> 00:06:41.439 It's something that I wish I would have recognized at a younger age. 00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:52.800 So I'm not a betting man at all, but I would bet that every single person in this room is having some sort of battle today. 00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:59.040 Or maybe you just finished a battle recently and you have some scars or wounds to show for it. 00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:08.240 Paul talks about that thorn in his side, in his flesh that won't seem to go away, and he asked the Lord three times to take it away. 00:07:09.519 --> 00:07:17.279 Today I want to talk to you about my battle, my thorn, my story, and hopes of pointing you to Jesus and not to me. 00:07:19.199 --> 00:07:24.319 I spent 22 years of my life chasing after something that was never going to satisfy me. 00:07:24.480 --> 00:07:31.680 And quite frankly, sometimes I still find myself in this battle, but the grace of God brings me right back to him. 00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:40.560 By no means am I saying I've arrived or things are perfect now. 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:43.360 I still struggle with it. 00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:47.680 But this thing that I'm talking about is validation from other people. 00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:52.000 All in all, I'm a I'm a serial people pleaser. 00:07:52.160 --> 00:07:54.959 Um I just want people to like me. 00:07:55.600 --> 00:07:59.040 I'm learning more and more, the only person I need to please is Jesus. 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:03.759 So I've named this sermon today, What Are You Chasing? 00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:11.759 Because even though I'm telling my story, I hope that each of you can look into your hearts today and apply it to your own lives. 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:20.399 Before I do that, I want to kind of share some context about who I am, starting from the beginning. 00:08:20.879 --> 00:08:24.560 Um I'm a third child out of four. 00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:26.560 So that's my family. 00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:30.399 Um on the on the far left there. 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:32.559 Um, so I grew up with two loving parents. 00:08:32.639 --> 00:08:35.440 Shout out to my mom and dad that are here today. 00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:40.639 That's like two times in the last month that y'all have been here. 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:41.679 Yeah, pretty cool. 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:42.720 Pretty cool. 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:47.200 Um, we moved around a little bit when I was young, so I was born in Dallas, Texas. 00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:50.720 Um, I'm unfortunately a Cowboys fan. 00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:55.360 But uh we moved in the early 90s to Akron, Ohio. 00:08:55.440 --> 00:08:59.360 So shout out to LeBron James, my favorite player. 00:08:59.519 --> 00:09:09.840 Um so we lived there for about five years, and then we moved to Michigan in 1997, the summer of 97, uh, where we my parents still reside in Jennyson. 00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:14.639 So I was a kid that was polar opposite than I am now, right? 00:09:14.720 --> 00:09:23.120 If you're around me, or if you know me, or if you ask people about me, most people would say I'm laid back, chill, patient guy. 00:09:23.360 --> 00:09:26.399 Um, but back then, far from that. 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:33.440 Like, if you see harmony running around, I was more like that, just like just like that. 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:36.000 Um, I was pretty emotional as a child. 00:09:36.159 --> 00:09:43.600 I wore my heart on my sleeve, um, I cried a lot, got angry quickly, and I was in trouble quite often. 00:09:43.919 --> 00:09:52.799 I was repeatedly told that I needed to sit down, hush, you're doing too much, or you got anger problems. 00:09:53.519 --> 00:09:54.159 Yeah. 00:09:54.480 --> 00:10:02.320 So to appease everyone around me, honestly, I learned how to just suppress those feelings to make everybody just at ease. 00:10:02.960 --> 00:10:10.399 Um, so I mentioned that people typically call me patient and chill, but it's partly true. 00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:21.840 I would mostly uh rather like just bite my tongue to avoid conflict, which is not a healthy thing, especially in marriage, I'm sure my wife would agree. 00:10:22.080 --> 00:10:25.600 Sometimes she's begging me, just talk to me. 00:10:25.759 --> 00:10:27.759 I was like, I'm good, I'm good. 00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:35.519 Honestly, I've done this for so long to this day, it's hard for me to just like cry. 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:39.360 Especially when I know I need to, I just can't do it. 00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:44.240 So, anybody out there that knows how to cry just like that, I envy you. 00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:47.840 Because it's just a great way to release some things. 00:10:48.399 --> 00:10:55.279 Um, speaking of that, quick story about my program with the chosen ones at the Ford School across the street. 00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:58.399 So, some of you might have seen this on Facebook. 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:06.879 So at the end of each year, uh we do like an assessment survey with each kid. 00:11:07.039 --> 00:11:09.279 Um, and this kid is a sixth grader. 00:11:09.440 --> 00:11:12.480 Um, and we asked him, what does it mean to be a strong man? 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:15.759 And you can see his his uh his answer right here. 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:19.360 He said to hide your emotions and stay tough. 00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:26.240 So when I read that, like my heart broke, my heart dropped. 00:11:26.320 --> 00:11:28.639 I immediately started blaming myself. 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:32.240 I'm just like, where, like, where did we go wrong with this kid? 00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:35.600 This is literally the opposite of what we teach. 00:11:35.840 --> 00:11:38.720 Like what I just couldn't fathom it. 00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:44.639 Thankfully, he was right there when I read it, so we had a good opportunity to kind of dig deeper about that. 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:51.039 But I also was reminded that this kid is 12 years old. 00:11:51.279 --> 00:11:54.320 He's learned, he's learned that like his entire life. 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:58.159 He was told that, he watches that in his own home. 00:11:58.480 --> 00:12:03.120 And it's in a matter of nine months, that work will, that belief will not go away. 00:12:03.279 --> 00:12:06.960 It's it's it's too much to ask of us. 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:12.799 But we're in it for the long haul with this kid, and we're gonna keep working. 00:12:14.480 --> 00:12:28.639 So when I was young though, many times my temper would make things awkward in our family, uh, especially during like family trips or movie night, game night. 00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:37.840 Uh, my brother knew how to press my buttons just and I would just lose my mind, and then the night would be shut down. 00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:42.720 Uh I wanted to find that I asked you, Mom, I wanted to find that picture. 00:12:42.799 --> 00:12:44.399 There's this picture of us in Texas. 00:12:44.480 --> 00:12:52.799 We took uh maybe during the holidays, and everybody in the picture is smiling except for me and my dad. 00:12:53.039 --> 00:12:55.360 So my dad is like like this. 00:12:55.840 --> 00:13:01.039 Me and my face is like, my bad, wet because I'm in tears and I'm just like this. 00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:03.120 That was one of those nights I talked about. 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:06.080 But instead, I chose a happy photo. 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:19.840 Um, but yeah, at times, if I'm brutally honest, I felt almost like an outcast in my family because I was often made fun of because of my temper. 00:13:23.360 --> 00:13:30.399 So it was hard for me to feel like I fit in, especially because when we visited like St. 00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:36.240 Louis and stuff like that to visit my mom's family, I was the only one that didn't really have a cousin to run around with. 00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:39.200 Everybody all my siblings had someone around their age. 00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:44.720 So oftentimes I just felt like, man, I'm just alone. 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:52.080 So I thought to myself, what can I do for my family to just accept me? 00:13:53.039 --> 00:13:54.960 And I had one idea. 00:13:56.080 --> 00:14:03.440 So if you're a a male, a boy, a man, think of yourself as a child. 00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:11.919 There's nothing more important to a little boy than winning the approval of his father and big brothers. 00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:18.799 My pops, he was a Hall of Fame athlete at his high school. 00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:21.759 Heard so many urban legends stories, right? 00:14:22.159 --> 00:14:27.679 Um football, basketball, baseball, then that's him in college right there. 00:14:27.840 --> 00:14:33.759 Um, still has records to this day at wide receiver, pump return, stuff like that. 00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:36.080 My brother, that's him on the on the right. 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:41.279 So if you remember, this picture right here was on the rapid for like 10 years. 00:14:43.360 --> 00:14:44.000 For real. 00:14:44.240 --> 00:14:48.320 And if you know my brother, that just like pumps his chest up a little bit. 00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:52.159 But my brother was all world as well. 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:57.039 Um, Hall of Fame athlete football and basketball at Jennyson High School. 00:14:57.200 --> 00:14:59.679 He's in the Grand Valley State Hall of Fame as well. 00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:03.279 So, as you can imagine, big shoes to fill. 00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:10.639 And as a young, bright kid, I'm like, this is the way to get acceptance. 00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:13.039 Become all about sports. 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:14.399 So, what did I do? 00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:16.159 I practice all the time. 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:22.879 I challenged my brother in one-on-one, tackle football, whatever made me better, whatever made me tougher. 00:15:23.039 --> 00:15:24.000 I did that. 00:15:24.240 --> 00:15:27.600 After a while, I started getting pretty good at sports. 00:15:27.679 --> 00:15:29.360 I'm playing against older kids. 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:35.120 Um, I'm excelling, I'm seeing how proud my dad is of me because I had a good game. 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:39.679 Or I'm swinging the golf club pretty well, right? 00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:46.000 And then my brother started asking me to go play with his friends. 00:15:46.159 --> 00:15:48.639 Yo, let's go hoop, let's go to the park, play baseball. 00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:50.960 I'm like, word, you want me to come? 00:15:51.279 --> 00:15:53.840 And guess who his number one pick was every time? 00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:55.200 Your boy. 00:15:56.080 --> 00:16:02.159 I don't know if it was because of my skill or because he was just a good brother that he just always looked out for me, right? 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:12.399 But as you can imagine, at this point, I was on top of the world because I figured out how to get my brother and my dad to approve of me. 00:16:13.679 --> 00:16:21.519 So I decided to use the same recipe to win friends, which is a dangerous decision. 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:26.080 As I reflect on that, I'm reminded of Galatians 1.10. 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:32.960 It says, Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:36.639 Or am I trying to please people? 00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:43.200 If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. 00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:52.960 So I ask myself, was I trying to win the approval of human beings, my brother, my dad, my family, and then my friends? 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:54.559 Or of God? 00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:58.000 I doubled down on the approval of people. 00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:03.360 So I'll say a disclaimer real quick. 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:07.119 This is not like an indictment on my family. 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:08.079 Love my family. 00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:09.680 Mom and dad did amazing. 00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:11.200 I just wanted to say that. 00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:12.720 Yeah, yeah. 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:17.119 Um, but as you know, let's fast forward to being a team. 00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:22.720 Things can change dramatically when a child becomes a teenager. 00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:33.039 That innocent little boy that wanted approval from his little dad, from his big brother and dad was no longer innocent or little. 00:17:34.160 --> 00:17:41.039 He was getting shaped by hip-hop culture that told him, You're not cool unless you got a bunch of girls. 00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:44.880 You're not cool unless you got a bunch of money, you got the flyers gear. 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:52.559 For a kid that's chasing validation, he's willing to do virtually anything, absolutely anything to get it. 00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:56.319 Even if it goes against everything that he stands for. 00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:00.000 This is where things started to get dangerous for me. 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:02.960 I was getting extra attention because of whose brother I was. 00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:04.880 I mentioned he was all world, right? 00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:07.839 Every classroom I walked into, hey, are you Pete's brother? 00:18:07.920 --> 00:18:09.359 You gonna be better than him? 00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:14.960 Older girls were talking to me as a 13, 14-year-old. 00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:16.400 Hey, I'm cool with that. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:22.319 But so many people wanted to be next to me, friends, because I was Pete's little brother. 00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:24.559 Lil Pete, little Pete, what's up, bro? 00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:28.480 And I was pretty good at sports too. 00:18:29.440 --> 00:18:37.359 I rolled that wave, and I thought to myself, finally, this is the validation that I've been looking for my entire life. 00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:39.279 Everybody thinks I'm cool. 00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:40.640 I made it. 00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:42.000 But you know what? 00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:43.680 I loved it a little too much. 00:18:43.839 --> 00:18:46.160 I'm thinking about the young cats over here. 00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:56.000 I wanted to do everything in my power to keep that, to keep that love from everybody. 00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:58.559 To keep telling me, yo, Wes, you the man. 00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.559 That motivated me. 00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:03.920 What do you think I did? 00:19:04.079 --> 00:19:05.440 I got in the gym. 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:09.519 Every morning I was in the gym, getting shots up, lifting weights. 00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:10.000 Why? 00:19:10.160 --> 00:19:18.960 Not because I wanted to win, not because I wanted to uh, you know, excel and go to college and maybe go pro one day. 00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:25.519 I did it because I wanted what success on the court brought to me off of it. 00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:30.160 And that's validation and love and praise from people around me. 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:35.359 That's a dangerous, dangerous thing to do. 00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:40.720 But can you imagine what this can do internally to a teen, to anybody? 00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:48.960 When a sport or activity goes from pure and innocent to feeling like the only way to be seen by others. 00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:51.599 Have y'all been there? 00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:57.839 To a place where you felt like the thing you did best was the only thing that you had to offer. 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:03.519 When this is the case, the pressure to perform cannot be any higher. 00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:09.119 We then become our performance, and anxiety will continue to rise. 00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:14.559 This is exactly where I was without a safe space to share. 00:20:15.759 --> 00:20:17.279 And you know what I wish? 00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:18.400 I wish. 00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:19.440 I wish. 00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:23.359 At the time, I wish I knew that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:30.559 I wish that I knew Jesus didn't care about how many points I scored, if I won or if I lost. 00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:37.119 I wish I knew that I didn't have to be perfect or great because someone already fulfilled that role. 00:20:39.519 --> 00:20:49.039 So for those that are like me and that are like people pleasers, that find value in your performance, it doesn't have to be sports, it could be work. 00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:55.920 It could be performance as a father, as a mother, or your yard or pops. 00:21:00.319 --> 00:21:02.799 I want to share this quote by Henri Nowen. 00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:07.599 I think I'm saying his name right, um, in his book, In the Name of Jesus. 00:21:09.119 --> 00:21:09.920 This hit me. 00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:14.160 This was I I was randomly reading this book, and I'm like, I gotta insert this. 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:19.200 The question is not how many people take you seriously? 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:23.119 Or how much are you going to accomplish? 00:21:23.519 --> 00:21:25.279 Can you show some results? 00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:31.119 No, but the question is, are you in love with Jesus? 00:21:33.119 --> 00:21:37.920 Perhaps another way of putting the question would be, do you know the incarnate God? 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:53.519 In our world of loneliness and despair, there is an enormous need for men and women who know the heart of God, a heart that forgives, cares, reaches out, and wants to heal. 00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:57.519 So, my young guys. 00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:05.599 The question isn't what can I accomplish? 00:22:06.720 --> 00:22:08.640 How many points can I score? 00:22:09.200 --> 00:22:11.119 How many girls can I get? 00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:14.480 How many friends can I have? 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.839 The real question is, do you love Jesus? 00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:21.839 Do you love Jesus? 00:22:27.039 --> 00:22:30.960 So, like my brother, wanted to be like him. 00:22:32.240 --> 00:22:34.559 Grand Valley was the place for me to go. 00:22:35.359 --> 00:22:38.160 I played there as well. 00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:41.839 I was where athletes aspired to be. 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:44.160 I was playing college sports. 00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:48.880 I made it right on scholarship, competing at a high level. 00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:53.039 My high school friends looked up to me and were like, Wes is doing big things. 00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:58.079 But truthfully, by the time I got there, I was running on fumes. 00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:04.000 Because my anxiety finally caught up to me, I only lasted three years. 00:23:05.440 --> 00:23:08.799 I decided to give up the game for good right before my senior year. 00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:11.119 I used to be ashamed of that story. 00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:14.000 Um, I used to believe that I was a quitter. 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:17.039 This is all part of my testimony, though. 00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:19.359 Um, I'm not ashamed of it. 00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:21.119 I'm proud to share this story now. 00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:26.960 Um, but when I decided to give the game up, I felt a sense of relief, to be honest. 00:23:27.359 --> 00:23:37.680 Um I did not know, though, that this was going to be a three-year process of me walking in the wilderness because my identity was gone. 00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:41.599 So I want to share an analogy. 00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:46.960 My daughters aren't in here, but my daughters love butterflies. 00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:58.960 As a girl that I never thought I'd know so many like princesses, uh butterflies, um, yeah, all that stuff, but wouldn't have it any other way. 00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:05.440 Um so we talk a lot about like the beauty of the beauty of a butterfly, right? 00:24:05.519 --> 00:24:09.519 When we see it, beautiful colors, they fly gracefully, right? 00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:17.359 Um, but we never talk about the middle stage when a caterpillar goes into the chrysalis. 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:23.759 When a caterpillar pillar goes into the chrysalis, it doesn't just sprout wings. 00:24:25.359 --> 00:24:27.680 Forget about the step before that. 00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:34.000 I never knew this, but I read that it literally dissolves into like liquid, like liquid goo. 00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:35.519 It's kind of ugly. 00:24:36.160 --> 00:24:40.160 It completely loses its identity as a caterpillar. 00:24:40.400 --> 00:24:42.559 So it's no longer a caterpillar, right? 00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:46.880 It can no longer crawl, eat, or protect itself. 00:24:47.119 --> 00:24:52.480 If you opened it up halfway through, it would just look like a lost, shapeless just mess. 00:24:53.680 --> 00:24:57.680 Maybe this is where you are right now: a shapeless mess. 00:24:57.920 --> 00:25:00.720 The thing that you identify with is gone. 00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:02.160 But guess what? 00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:04.160 This is where God does his best work. 00:25:05.039 --> 00:25:14.240 Sometimes feeling completely lost and losing your old identity is actually a sign of transformation, not destruction. 00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:18.079 The meltdown is necessary for the masterpiece to form. 00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:20.079 So let God work. 00:25:21.599 --> 00:25:24.559 But I learned that this is a process. 00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:28.480 A lot of hurt, a lot of tears, but it's worth it. 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:34.480 Without basketball, I felt like I was nothing and I had nothing. 00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:39.279 The one thing that I felt I was good at, I was no longer doing. 00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:41.440 What did I cling to? 00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:50.160 Well, Jesus saved me in November 2011, but I was still battling with my flesh in a mighty way. 00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:55.039 Instead of clinging to Jesus, I was clinging to things that I thought would fill me. 00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:58.240 But it kept me empty. 00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:04.720 I chased after a relationship with a high school sweetheart that was doomed from the very beginning. 00:26:05.440 --> 00:26:07.599 Looking for validation out of that. 00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:14.000 Or I had trouble letting go of the party life. 00:26:14.799 --> 00:26:17.119 I didn't party because I wanted to. 00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:23.039 I partied because I wanted to feel accepted by my teammates from people around me. 00:26:23.279 --> 00:26:25.279 That's the only reason why I did it. 00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:29.759 If I let go of that, I literally thought I'm not gonna have friends anymore. 00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:30.640 Right? 00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:36.720 And like a lot of men, I had a battle with pornography. 00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:47.839 All of these things I was chasing after because I dedicated the life for so long to winning approval of men. 00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:54.160 I was searching for that next thing, but I was tired. 00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:55.599 I was tired. 00:26:56.000 --> 00:27:00.960 I was tired of acting, I was tired of chasing, and I needed rest. 00:27:01.920 --> 00:27:05.519 I needed this verse right here, one of my favorite verses. 00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:08.400 Matthew 11, 28 through 30. 00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:14.400 Jesus said, Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 00:27:15.119 --> 00:27:17.920 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. 00:27:18.079 --> 00:27:23.200 For I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:27.200 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:36.079 This love that I was looking for was the love, Jesus' love. 00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:38.799 I'm gonna refer back to Henri Nowen. 00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:40.720 He wrote about this in his book. 00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:42.640 Everybody say that first love. 00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:43.839 That first love. 00:27:44.079 --> 00:27:45.200 Say that first love. 00:27:45.519 --> 00:27:46.319 That first love. 00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:54.799 He wrote that unconditional and unlimited love is what the evangelist John calls God's first love. 00:27:55.359 --> 00:27:59.279 Let us love, he says, because God loved us first. 00:27:59.519 --> 00:28:01.839 This is 1 John 4, 19. 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:10.640 The love that often leaves us doubtful, frustrated, angry, and resentful is the second love. 00:28:10.880 --> 00:28:15.279 That is to say, the affirmation that I was desperately looking for. 00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:23.519 Sympathy, encouragement that we receive from our parents, teachers, spouses, friends, anybody in our life, any human. 00:28:24.799 --> 00:28:30.079 So you and I, you and I can love our family and friends to the best of our abilities. 00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:36.559 To think like, oh, we're just, I'm killing it. 00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:41.599 I'm supplying the needs of my my kids, I'm supplying the needs of my spouse. 00:28:42.240 --> 00:28:43.519 But guess what? 00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:46.799 We're still gonna hurt them. 00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:49.440 No matter how hard we try. 00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:54.160 That is why we need, say that first love. 00:28:55.680 --> 00:29:01.440 We need that first love of Jesus because he hasn't failed us yet and he never will. 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:07.599 So maybe you're in a season where you are experiencing some kind of loss. 00:29:08.720 --> 00:29:19.359 Maybe it's a person close to you, a career that consumes you a little too much, an injury, a sickness, whatever that may be. 00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:22.480 Jesus is standing right here. 00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:29.920 That a math that Matthew 11, 28 through 30, he's saying it to you. 00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:31.119 Come to me. 00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:33.119 Come to me. 00:29:36.960 --> 00:29:43.359 So to close, I want to share a sermon that saved my life. 00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:46.319 Honestly, changed my life forever. 00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:48.799 Um, Mom and Dad, I don't know if you remember this. 00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:52.960 This was at New Hope, probably like 10, 11 years ago. 00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:55.599 12, 13, whatever, it doesn't matter. 00:29:55.839 --> 00:29:56.960 Long time ago. 00:29:57.519 --> 00:30:03.039 Um, it was a sermon, so speaking of Moses, my chosen biblical character, my guy. 00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:10.079 Uh yeah, it was a sermon about Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt into Canaan. 00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:15.759 The Israelites wandered through the wilderness for years, right? 00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:20.400 They didn't know where their next meal would be. 00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:24.799 They were full of uncertainty. 00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:29.839 They griped and grumbled that they, I might as well just go back to Egypt. 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:35.200 Like, at least I knew I was gonna what I was gonna eat, three meals where I was gonna lay my head. 00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:39.759 They didn't care about being slaves or being treated poorly. 00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:47.920 But their eyes weren't fixed on what God had for them. 00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:49.839 The promised land. 00:30:50.079 --> 00:30:53.039 The promised land made of milk and honey. 00:30:53.519 --> 00:30:58.640 They just had to go through a little bit of adversity to get there. 00:30:59.599 --> 00:31:00.880 So, how do we apply this? 00:31:01.039 --> 00:31:07.359 Egypt is familiar, it's comfortable, but it's not good for our souls. 00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:12.880 Canaan is what God has for us in our lives. 00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:19.279 And the wilderness is the adversity that we need to get through to get there. 00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:27.519 It's ironic because I said that before, that it was hard for me to show emotion. 00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:36.319 I don't know if y'all remember, but when when Pastor Earl was preaching that, it was like I was the only person in the room. 00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:38.480 And I started crying. 00:31:38.799 --> 00:31:42.319 I mentioned it before, like I can't, it's hard for me to cry. 00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:47.519 It wasn't one of those, just like it was like one of those. 00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:49.200 Right? 00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:54.319 But that's when I knew like my life has to change. 00:31:54.559 --> 00:31:56.160 It has to change. 00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:01.359 So I want to share with you uh my Egypt. 00:32:03.440 --> 00:32:10.640 We talked about this, my idols of basketball and longing to be accepted by others, not named Jesus. 00:32:12.079 --> 00:32:18.319 In my wilderness, giving those things up and feeling alone and feeling like a failure. 00:32:18.480 --> 00:32:25.279 Notice I said feeling, because the truth is I wasn't alone, and I wasn't a failure. 00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:30.400 But that's what the enemy wants you to believe, and that's why the wilderness is so scary. 00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:37.039 It's a scary place to be, but it's a necessary place to be. 00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:41.599 So I chose to leave Egypt for Canaan. 00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:46.319 It was not easy, but I arrived. 00:32:46.799 --> 00:32:51.279 Still damaged, still scarred, but I'm here. 00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:56.400 And I want to share my Canaan with you all today. 00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:04.960 First of all, my beautiful wife, Brianna Kristen Trammell. 00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:10.400 Actually, today, about 10 years ago, I asked you to be my girlfriend. 00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:12.960 Yeah, look at God. 00:33:13.039 --> 00:33:14.240 I'm crazy. 00:33:16.240 --> 00:33:26.640 Um from the first our first date, I texted my boy Josh right after, and I said she's the one. 00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:32.640 It was just that you like you you were layup, right? 00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:35.039 It was an easy, easy choice. 00:33:37.039 --> 00:33:40.400 But when I met you, Ernest knows this. 00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:42.559 We met at Ernest's house. 00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:46.720 Uh I ignored you for like two or three months. 00:33:47.039 --> 00:33:49.200 After we hit it off, you were flirting with me. 00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:50.160 But anyway. 00:33:54.559 --> 00:33:59.519 No, but the reason why, because I thought you were too good, you were too good for me. 00:33:59.680 --> 00:34:01.279 I didn't think I deserved you. 00:34:03.039 --> 00:34:07.039 So I kind of fled and ignored you. 00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:09.840 But I felt that stirring in my spirit. 00:34:10.880 --> 00:34:11.840 Anxiety. 00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:14.880 Until I asked you out, that anxiety was gone. 00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:17.199 And I haven't had that since. 00:34:17.519 --> 00:34:18.719 And I love you. 00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:20.960 You're my canon. 00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:26.320 Um, my girls, Harmony and Harper, they're not in here, but they wouldn't exist. 00:34:26.559 --> 00:34:32.079 They would not exist if I didn't leave Egypt for Canaan. 00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:36.159 The chosen ones, I briefly mentioned that. 00:34:36.320 --> 00:34:44.239 So we exist, like the chosen ones exist because of God in my testimony. 00:34:45.199 --> 00:34:49.840 Everything I told you about me today is why the chosen ones is here. 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:58.000 We help young athletes develop a healthy identity outside of sports, we show them who God created them to be. 00:34:59.360 --> 00:35:01.760 That they're special individuals. 00:35:02.719 --> 00:35:07.760 In the full circle moment, we we do our program at Ford, right across the street. 00:35:08.320 --> 00:35:09.519 Nothing but God. 00:35:12.559 --> 00:35:16.079 And obviously, a right relationship with God through Jesus Christ. 00:35:16.559 --> 00:35:21.760 I used to find validation by whose brother I was. 00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:26.800 But my true validation is found in whose son I am. 00:35:29.039 --> 00:35:32.079 My heavenly father gives me all the validation that I will ever need. 00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:36.079 Your heavenly father will give you all the validation that you will ever need. 00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:38.159 No one else. 00:35:40.639 --> 00:35:43.440 If it weren't for God, I would still be in Egypt. 00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:46.800 I would not be standing here in front of you today. 00:35:47.039 --> 00:35:49.280 Only God knows where I would be. 00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:52.079 And I'm glad he saved me. 00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:56.159 So my question for you. 00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.159 What is your Egypt right now? 00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:05.920 What is it? 00:36:06.639 --> 00:36:14.239 If you submit that to God today, what will your canyon look like? 00:36:15.840 --> 00:36:17.039 Just imagine. 00:36:19.119 --> 00:36:25.840 And I promise you, there's no wilderness that God can't handle. 00:36:28.400 --> 00:36:30.960 So that's my encouragement to you guys today. 00:36:33.119 --> 00:36:34.800 And I want to pray. 00:36:36.320 --> 00:36:39.440 If we can just stand and maybe lift our hands a little bit. 00:36:39.679 --> 00:36:41.920 However, you want to be, it doesn't matter. 00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:44.400 I just want everybody to lift their hands. 00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:54.719 Lord, we thank you. 00:36:56.719 --> 00:36:58.000 We thank you. 00:36:59.360 --> 00:37:04.880 We thank you for sending your son as an example to show us how to live. 00:37:05.119 --> 00:37:12.159 We thank you for your validation, the only validation that truly matters. 00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:20.559 Everybody in this room, Lord God, I pray that you help us all to search ourselves, search our hearts. 00:37:20.960 --> 00:37:28.000 And anything that we're not giving to you, Lord, I pray that we surrender and give it to you today. 00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:34.480 And start that journey from Egypt into Canaan. 00:37:35.199 --> 00:37:38.559 We will not fear the wilderness because you are with us. 00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:45.440 Thank you, Lord. 00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:46.639 We love you. 00:37:47.039 --> 00:37:49.440 I pray these things in the name of Jesus. 00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:50.400 Amen.