Episode 40 (Fitness, Tribe, Relationships)

In this episode of the Hot Ashes Podcast, we’re back at Georgia Cigar Shop in Swansboro, NC talking cigars, fitness, sobriety, veterans, mental health, and what it really means to have a tribe.

We kick things off with what we’re smoking and drinking (or not drinking), then dive deep into:

• Health, Fitness & Self-Improvement
  • Cutting back on booze, quitting soda, intermittent fasting
  • Building new routines, early bedtimes, and chasing big goals
  • Hotworx, 1000 workouts in 100 days, half-Ironman training, and TK’s pull-up / running journey
• Veterans, Irreverent Warriors & Finding Your Tribe
  • What Irreverent Warriors is really about: humor, camaraderie, and preventing veteran suicide
  • The power of a honest, no‑BS community at the cigar shop table
  • Life after the military, finding purpose, and why civilians absolutely belong at the table too
• Masculinity, Emotions, Journaling & Relationships
  • “Am I doing good enough?” – mid‑life doubt, pressure, and self-worth
  • How journaling becomes a pressure release valve (and why it often holds our darkest thoughts)
  • Communication with spouses and kids, emotional intelligence, MCCS classes, and dropping the stigma around counseling

We also get into:

• Beards and the “best beard” competition
• Leadership, vulnerability, and not just being a “yes man”
• Books from Marines and veteran supporters on leadership, business, and purpose

If you’re into cigars, veteran culture, personal growth, and real talk about mental health, this one’s for you.

Timestamps (rough):
00:00 – Intro, cigars & drinks at Georgia Cigar Shop
05:00 – Health kicks, quitting booze & soda, working out again
13:30 – Hotworx, 900+ days of workouts & 1000-in-100 challenge
16:30 – Irreverent Warriors, veteran tribe & sobriety
20:30 – The cigar shop table as community & support
32:30 – Military vs civilian paths, leadership & purpose
47:30 – Journaling, “am I enough?” and emotional pain on the page
1:03:30 – Communication with spouses & kids, MCCS classes, counseling
1:11:30 – TK’s fitness journey, running, lifting & consistency
1:20:30 – Aging, injuries, recovery, and still pushing the limits
1:22:20 – Heartstop / band updates & upcoming shows

Follow / Support:

• Hot Ashes Podcast – subscribe for more cigars, stories, and real talk
• Irreverent Warriors – find a hike and your tribe
• Local spots mentioned: Georgia Cigar Shop, Augment (Jacksonville, NC), Hotworx

#HotAshesPodcast #Veterans #MentalHealth #Cigars #Sobriety #Fitness #IrreverentWarriors #Podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:21

Can you do it?

SPEAKER_04 0:30

We are back at the Hot Ashes Podcast. I'm Lee, TK Baby. Oh man, I haven't heard I sound like I sound weird, but it's I guess it's just because I haven't heard myself in a little while. Welcome back to George's Cigar Shop in Swansboro, North Carolina. Again, this is the Hot Ashes Podcast. And we're gonna start out with what we're smoking, what we're drinking. We'll get to the guests we got around the table. Uh Cody's still working on putting on his headphones, that's fine. I got Penny here.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

He's got an issue on uh tethering.

SPEAKER_04 1:03

I don't usually bring, well, if we need to undo stuff, let's undo it. I don't usually bring Penny to the show anymore just because here you go, pull it all the way through. Uh because she gets into things and I don't, it's hard to watch her and do the show at the same time. But it'll be fine. She's very worn out because I took her on a one-wheel walk or run today. She has pulled me so fast that the one wheel reaches its max speed. And what happens is it'll beep because it's about to give you uh what's called pushback. If you go too fast on a one-wheel, it'll push back. And if it pushes back too much and you ignore it, it's gonna don't be careful that's around your beer. And if you ignore it, it'll um it'll launch you. It'll just stop and it'll launch you. My good my better board, I have a GT, has on the front, has these wheels called fangs. So even if I do nose dive, it's got wheels on it, so I could just do a nose, you know, skid down the road. But anyway, I digress. So she pulls me. Holy crap, there's a dog right there, and I don't know what to do right now because that's coming up. We don't, sorry. Nah, sorry. Anyway, that guy was just asking if we sold cigarettes, and I was just making sure that Penny didn't get up and see that he had a dog with him. All right, an unleashed dog. Cool. Um so I am smoking a George's box press torpedo because I love it. It looks like this normally. I always take off the band and smoke my cigars. I'm drinking a Purney Hayes, and that's where I'm at with my life, TK.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

I'm actually doing the same exact thing.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

You might have to just hold it. You can take the whole mic off at the time. Technical issues. And you made sure to turn it on. Just hold the button on the very bottom. We'd like to do that every single time. TK. Smoke and drinking.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

I'm smoking uh George's torpedo. And by way of my brother Lee.

SPEAKER_04 3:02

Oh, yeah, you did say the same thing, didn't you? Alright, we had one mic malfunctioned mic stand, and uh, we've got Cody on mic three, which you uh welcome back. How are you doing, buddy?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Thanks, you guys have smoking drinking. Kick me off the curb for a while there.

SPEAKER_04 3:16

Wow. We always try to schedule it when you're busy. Every time I have you, retirement's hard, bro.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

My schedule is wide open, and somehow you guys are like right there. Nope, he's busy right there. Okay, let's go ahead and do it.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

That's how actually we schedule the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 3:29

Like, if Cody's busy, let's record. He tells me what he has going on, and then I tell TK and he's like, that will work.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Yeah, that's the time.

SPEAKER_04 3:35

If you're busy, I'm in.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

That's it. So, no, no grudges. I don't hold any grudge. Love you guys. Yeah. But uh, I'm back. Big fan. Three and a five stars. It's been uh three weeks since I've had any beer because I've been training like you. And so I'm back to the core's light a little bit. Nice and still bullets, still no alcohol or uh tobacco or anything like that. So that's my life.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

That's the non-nicotine.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

This is like more addictive, I swear to god, than actual like zins or anything like that. What is it? It's like it says nootropic pouches, alpha. Have you ever done nicotine? Oh, yeah, yeah. I used to smoke for years. I've you smoked cigarettes? I did.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

I well, it's been I'm just saying in your life, you've smoked cigarettes.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Yeah, for about 10 years. I gotcha. And then quit all that, and then I dipped for a very long time with uh skull. Like uh fine cut. Oh, yeah. Or long cut, fine cut, whatever. I did all that shit. Right. And then uh I quit that for the better part of 10 years, and then I got back to it somehow. I don't remember how. And then I kicked it again. Probably your life that needs to be written as a book. No kidding that part, and then switched over to Zins and then kicked the Zins and then been on these for about a year now. Right on. That's it. That's that's what I got going on.

SPEAKER_04 4:46

Very well. Mike 4, we got Chris.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

Oh, yeah, Chris. I am smoking a Gurkha Fat Boy because you are what you eat. And uh, I'll be revisiting the Gurkha the Gurkha controversial podcast there to understand the hatred for Gurkhas. And um uh, and I'm drinking a uh Sober Carpenter DDH Hazy IPA, which is very good.

SPEAKER_04 5:08

I want to say that's the thing you were uh drinking last time because I remember the name Sober Carpenter.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

It was the last one in the fridge, too. And that's great because nobody else drinks them, so now I don't have to replace them. So cool. Is it zero beer? Yep.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

No, see that's the thing. So he was drinking the zero uh Heineken's or something. Yep. And I I'm not drinking during the week now because I'm back on my health kick where I'm working out every day and like eat, you know, I have intermittent fasting and all that stuff. I still don't want to drink a non-alcoholic beer. I'll stick with water over that.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Dude, the Heine's are good.

SPEAKER_04 5:37

It's not the taste, though. I don't care about the taste.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

They do taste like beers, also.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

I know, but when I'm drinking beers, I want to have the buzz that goes with the bigger. It's like I want to get it. I want the buzz that you earn with the beers, but I'd rather drink water.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

I'm just saying, I like it like a prize, like how I'm doing it now. You know, it's been three weeks and then boom. You're earning it. You earned it. Totally. Earn that buzz. It's all good. It's gonna be more than a buzz here in a little bit, let me tell you.

SPEAKER_04 6:01

Well, Chris doesn't drink at all anymore, so that's that's why he's drinking them. And that's that's totally cool. I just and that's probably when I would drink. Like if I quit drinking altogether, I could probably do it just to see.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Like, let me ask questions a question here. Yeah, is that a lifestyle choice or to quit? Did you ever drink alcohol in your life?

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Oh, yes. 35 years. I was I was hardcore, man. I was motley crewing it. I could go through I wouldn't even buy crewing it. I wasn't even I wouldn't be scary. I wouldn't even buy fifths of liquor. I'd buy the family size and yeah, and I could go through one of those in two or three days. I I hit it hard, hard. Okay. Uh, and I just was for clarity, just asking. I reached a point. Uh well, I'm almost three years sober now. I reached a point where I was just like, hey, this isn't at first, it's it there was no joy in it anymore. It was getting in a way. I mean, you all know all the stuff I do, all the organizations I'm part of. It was just getting in the way. It was anti. It was anti. And I'll miss it. I mean, I was in New Orleans all last week, and I still had an awesome time. I'll talk about that in a little bit. But yeah, yeah, so sober, staying sober, no, no looking back. But I'll tell you what, I love the places I go to, but they're proud of their non-alcoholic drinks because they still charge alcoholic prices. Well, it's just like eating healthy, right? They're gonna overcharge you to expensive to eat healthy.

SPEAKER_04 7:23

Yeah, oh, you want to be healthy?

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Yeah, you'll be still basically. Come on over here. Yeah, we got something healthy for you.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Well, I just want to say shout out to you, man. That's awesome, man. I think people like maybe need to tap into that. Like, if you're feeling something like, hey, maybe I don't need a drink anymore. Like, there is still like you can still exist in real life drinking.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

And you know what sucks about that is what we've experienced big time. You're a Marine, right? Yep. Okay, so we've all experienced it. Uh, is you tell your buddies, no, I'm not drinking tonight, I'm not drinking, and they're like, come on, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 7:55

They'll bully you with one boy, one beer. One beer. When I was like, no, only the weekends. And they're like, come on.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

It's just like they they want they want that company, they want that, but that peer pressure is huge. And for them to be able to, that's where you know your true friends are. If they leave him alone, he's freaking he's over or he's doing his thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Like, leave him alone.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Right, right. Yeah, so it's hard like in our lifestyle, big time.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

I was one of those bullies too. And uh, you know, I think I was done in it. I've done it. Yeah, we've all been there. Like, dude, are you not drinking button? Don't be a bitch. We've all been there.

SPEAKER_04 8:27

Don't be a bitch, let's go, you know. Yep. But you're right. I mean, and and so we've all done the well, I don't know if we've all done it, but the dry January and the dry decided. Sober, October. We did it last year. And yeah, and when you do it, and then when you get back to drinking, you're like, ew, dude. Yep. Gross. Well, that's like the working out thing is.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

It's like working out. It's like, hey, I've done this for so long, and then to not work out, you feel guilty. Same thing with the drinking thing. It's like, I have not drunk, so the first drink you have, you feel guilty too. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 8:55

Yeah, yesterday I had my first one in like a week and it was gross. I tasted it. I was like, ugh.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Well, it's an IPA, so it's gonna taste the best. Well, it's never gonna be good. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 9:04

I these are great. I love pernicious, I like the pernie haze, but it just yesterday was not because if you drink water all week and that's it, not even coffee too.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

But I've been on coffee and water, basically. Yeah, so I swore off soda for a month. I swore off soda for a month.

SPEAKER_04 9:22

I haven't drink soda in so long.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

October of last year. For me.

SPEAKER_04 9:25

Now, if I do drink it, it's mixed with vodka.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

And that's good. And honestly, I think that I might never drink it.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

Sounding like an alcoholic. I mean when I drink it. When? When? I don't mean like every day. I don't when I wake up, I have a Dia Coke and vodka. No, I haven't had a soda in a long time.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

That's somebody else that rhymes with shmebbi.

SPEAKER_04 9:46

Who? What? Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Exactly. So giving shout-outs. I remember we were sitting here. Shouts out on New Year's. And I think it was New Year's or thereabouts. It's like, what's your New Year's resolution? What's yours? And you New Year knew me, and you have stuck to it very good. So I don't remember your there's a mantra associated with it. It was I want to be more thankful. More thankful. More thankful, right? And I I see your posts and everything like that, man. Every time I see him, I'm like, son of a bitch, this guy's getting it, man. Those pull-ups, I just told you a minute ago. Good for you, dude. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Well, that's the new journey. That's like chapter two that I was on. So, first of all, is be more thankful. And it was like, hey, um, um, shout out to my wife, Nicole. She has been on this grind for I would say a year now. She's been working out, like doing her thing, like and our brother-in-law live with we all three live together. Your brother-in-law, not her brother-in-law. Like, yeah, my brother-in-law. My brother-in-law. So he has like a full, he has a full rack, like a full squat rack, like a full workout compound in the garage. So it's like you can only walk by that so many times before you start feeling like, why am I not using this? What's my excuse today? Exactly. Right. And it's like we don't in our house, we don't walk out the front door. We open the garage and walk out that way. That's weird. Well, that's just the way we work. Anyway. Asshole. So you gotta walk by it every day. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, hey, I didn't do that.

SPEAKER_04 11:25

But that's why it's good to have something like that. Good reminder. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

So I started leaning into that, and then like now it feels good to do it, and like we can like evolve on this conversation, but it's like it's addictive. It is well now I am excited to wake up. Yeah. I'm excited to like wake up and go do it.

SPEAKER_04 11:46

And do the grind.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Because so Nicole wakes up, she has to be punching the clock at 5 30 a.m. God bless. I mean, I'm not gonna shout out anything, but she's gotta be there on base. You know what I'm saying? And so I'm already rolling around anyway, because she's getting up. Not that she's loud or annoying me, but it's just like, hey, I'm a light sleeper anyway. So when she gets up, I'm kind of up. So I'm like, hey, maybe I should just like take that time when I'm already up. That's right. And I've also started going to sleep earlier. Me too. Me too, dude.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

What earlier?

SPEAKER_04 12:21

Nine. 9 30 for me.

SPEAKER_01 12:23

Bed at nine, lights out, 10?

SPEAKER_04 12:25

No, 9:30 in bed.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Rolling around at nine.

SPEAKER_04 12:28

9:30 in bed, reading a book until 10, shutting off lights, going to bed. Now I used to midnight to one go to bed after watching whatever show I feel like watching.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

I have pulled late nights.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

No, no, no. That was every single night, just midnight to one. And then I'll get up at eight.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

No, my schedule, especially with girls, it's like you've heard the thing, sleep when they sleep, right? Your kids? Yeah, you can't.

SPEAKER_04 12:49

So I do that when you have little kids, obviously. My kids are adults and they're out of the house. Right.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Well, my kids are eight and five. So it's like when they go to bed, I go to bed. Right. It's it's fruitful for all of us.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

Yeah, it's my kids sleeping until two.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Mine would if I let them. But no, I it's let them or sleep when they sleep. And it since I've done that, much like what you're saying, it's you feel that uh that benefit and to you. You actually get that seven days. It's a schedule.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

It's a schedule. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

So I lean.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Go ahead. Go, go. Yeah, for me, it's 8 30 to 9. And unfortunately, I wake up 03, 04, and uh well, we'll talk more about the working.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

You and George, you should call George. He's up at that time.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Well, since I brought it up, and I know we're working out here. We got a lot of people doing uh Cody and Ed are both doing the half uh triathlon thing.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

Half Iron Man.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Half Iron Man. Uh I am gonna do over the next hundred days a thousand workouts at Hotworks. Let's go. Dang, let's go.

SPEAKER_04 13:44

Over a hundred days, a thousand workouts at Hotworks.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah, yeah. And in fact, on uh Thursday, I met the CEO and creator of Hotworks, uh Stephen P. Smith and his fiance Ashley in New Orleans. This that's the universe right there. That was my 900th consecutive day working out. And I made that, I knew I was gonna make it to day 1000, but something in my head said, Don't be a weak ass. Come up with something awesome, and the awesome is doing this thousand workouts in a hundred days. And to have the CEO and the creator of Hotworks there on my 900th day to talk to him on site. That was totally unplanned, totally unscripted. There's 800 Hotworks across the world, you know. So to meet him on that day, that's the universe saying, hey, you're doing the right thing. Go, man. So yeah, yeah. So that's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

So since you're talking about that, why don't you talk about that thing behind you?

SPEAKER_00 14:36

Oh, yeah. More Reverend Warrior stuff. You know, we are not gonna get me on here and not talk about Reverend Warrior stuff. Can you see it from here? So, first of all, um we twist time and space here on uh the Hot Ashes podcast. So what we're gonna be talking about has already occurred when you hear this, but it's the 20th of June. Tonight is once a marine.

SPEAKER_04 14:58

That's okay. We'll show it later.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

We're uh tonight's Once a Marine, always a Marine night with the Jacksonville Ospreys. It's a college league baseball team. Let's go Bat League. What Bat League? Yep. So all the uh Reverend Warriors are showing up in their gear tonight. Uh Carolina Museum, the Marine. But what you got behind me, you can't really see it. I did uh 22. Yeah, I did a 22-minute coal plunge at Augment in Jacksonville, and I've been trying to get this plaque to them forever. But you know, I did, yeah, okay, I'm the one that was in the cold water, but there were a lot of people on here. Like T and Lee, TK and Lee are on there. This podcast is on there. Uh, we got hyperbaric oxygen therapy for heroes is on there. You got Ans Little Business Journal. You can't respectable folks.

SPEAKER_04 15:43

Respectable folks. You can put a picture of this up while we talk about it, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:46

We got uh I know you can because I know how to do it. I can do it, but you're doing it. We got Reaper Custom Creations that's on there. My friend uh JT's the one that made it. I said, bro, your name's not going on the back, it's going on the front. Got all of course, of course. We got all the hike warniers on there. Crystal Dunaway for Jacksonville is on there. Shout out. Mike Burden's on there from uh Crystal Coast, the irreverent warrior crystal coast hike. I should have had, I'm not gonna say the date because I'm gonna get wrong. I think it's in October. We'll we'll get it squared away there. But uh Matt Reeves, we didn't have a Greenville hike, but you want to talk about a man that has set the example of taking care of veterans, Matt Matt Reeves. The standard. Yep. And I think I hit everybody on there, but yeah, it's a pretty badass plaque. There's another version of it that we gave to Hotworks in Jacksonville yesterday. Same kind of format. I treat it like a unit deployment plaque. When units deploy, they come back, they want to commemorate that mission, that deployment. And that's how I viewed these two things the 22 workouts, 22 hours, the uh 22-minute cold plunge. So after the first inning tonight, uh we'll be presenting that plaque to augment.

SPEAKER_04 16:53

Real quick, tell everybody what the Irreverent Warriors is, because you've on another on episode 23, I know, but this let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Yeah, so Irreverent Warriors' mission is we bring veterans together using humor and camaraderie to improve mental health and prevent veteran suicide. It's a worldwide nonprofit. You get together, I'm not gonna stand up, but you put on the silky shorts, you wear a cool Reverend Warrior shirt, you do a simple hike in a city. They're about seven miles, it is a very slow pace. It's not meant to be an athletic event. It's meant to bring veterans together. And absolutely, if you're really interested, watch the hike back, a Reverend Warriors the Hike Back on YouTube. It's an hour long, and it will talk about the journey of a Reverend Warriors because the Reverend Warriors started out like what we started this podcast talking about, right? Hardcore drunk fest. It was it was show up, uh, bar crawl, go ham, beast mode. And the uh the founders, Diomalley, uh a few other folks said, Hey, what are we doing here? That we're we're literally trying to prevent veteran suicide. And one of the things that contributes is getting introduced to alcohol, and that's gonna do that. So they've backed it off. And uh, I will tell you, so we have I even wear the band, but uh IW Sober is one of the offshoots of Irreverend Warriors, and I'll tell you, the sobriety is respected out there on these hikes. I've never had anybody try a for you remember, we were talking about bullying here and all that. Nobody bullies, they respect the people that are sober and they're on their journey there. So uh that's good.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

See, that's like a major thing though, because we're talking about peer pressure earlier, early in the episode. It's like, hey, like because someone says, Hey, I don't want a beer today, that's not like a delta. That's not bad if someone's like, Hey, yeah, I don't want to drink a beer today. Yeah, that's cool. Like, I don't want to be alive anymore. That's a different thing, yeah. Well, that's I'm saying, like, as far as being abusing alcohol.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

Oh, I got you.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 18:50

Can can I'm sorry to can anybody join, or is it just veterans, or what's the deal?

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Veterans and active duty only on the hikes. And the reason for that is you know, we're all at well, DK, you you would be, you kind of look like one, but you know, for for those of us that you know, we want to talk in our own way, we want to act our own way, we don't want to be answering all kinds of weird questions if you killed somebody or someone weird like that. We just want to be right, the weird questions, yeah. And so we just want to be us goofy veterans together and active duty. We want more active duty out here because I'll tell you the thing coming off active duty, a lot of folks feel like they've lost their sense of tribe. Well, Reverend Warriors is your tribe in waiting.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

If you're up to the city, that last thing, and that really uh resonated with a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Yeah, if you're on active duty right now, I get it. You don't want to come out looking at a bunch of old guys in really tight shorts. I know it's kind of creepy, but you know, that's part of the gross. That's kind of the Hall of Fame that's me, sir.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Bumblebee tuna.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

Yeah, we're we're so we do have to put your light down. We do have a dress code somewhat, but yeah, but yes, it's bringing a sense of tribe. So you know you don't have to be on active duty now thinking, oh man, what's it gonna be like when I get out? Come on on one of these hikes and meet people, and you're gonna meet some awesome, awesome people out on these hikes, I promise you.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

Man, and that does I think like as a civilian, that does a lot for people. Just have having a conversation, yeah, talking to someone. Hey, oh, you know such and such? You know Cody? Oh, we're cool. Now I'm not thinking about the other thing I was thinking about, which is the bad thing. Right.

SPEAKER_04 20:32

Well, and this is like the tables are in our tribe, too. Yeah, well, that's right. You know, we've got veterans and civilians around here, and it's like you don't have to be, we're all from different walks of life. We can share our experience with each other. That doesn't mean we have to have all come from the same place or done the same thing. Sure. That's what makes it cool. There's Captain Joe, you could tell from the noise.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

I heard it. Well, that's why it's pretty cool that I'm on this podcast and being able to sit amongst people that have served this country. It's like it's just a blessing. I know I would have to say it. But I'm just saying it's like, hey, anybody can sit at this table at any given moment. Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Yep. I met a former UFL player at um Shirley's backroom in Washington, DC. This guy runs an awesome nonprofit in Baltimore. I'm a former NFL watcher. Yeah. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You know, and at the same table was this big uh cigar uh was one of the dealers, I forgot what company he's for, but dealers. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Roll one of the cigar reps out with the dealers. Yeah, it's a million flights. Look what I got to get. I gotcha. All right. But uh yeah, you like you're we're saying here, you come to a cigar shop, all walks of life, all backgrounds, and you you burn on one of these and you're talking, and we're all the same.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

You know, we're all and someone might have something to say that they really needed to say that they haven't said yet out loud. And like you get into a conversation, and it's like, hey man, I'm not gonna take it till like. Like a wife level or a kid level, but it's like, hey man, dude, my wife pissed me off today. Yeah. And they they have no one to say that to you have no one to say that to.

SPEAKER_04 22:12

And this table doesn't make you feel like we joke around and stuff, but for the most part, we build each other up.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 22:18

So if you're having a problem, there's 10 to 20 people here who are ready to help you with. Oh, absolutely. But then we're gonna still help you. Right. Like we're all gonna come together. And how many I bet at any given time, everybody at this table has something that belongs. I have his hedge trimmer. Like we all have shit that belongs because we're like, hey, look, can I borrow this? Can I borrow? We're family, you know, so of course we're there for each other. And it's so much easier if you have that than if you don't. If you just are on your own and you just try to do it on your own, you don't ever ask for help. You can't do it alone. It's impossible. Or you can do it, you're gonna be miserable. Yep. You thrive with a tribe.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

You're right. And you're you thrive with a truthful tribe. I'll say that. Because if you have somebody in your corner not yes, men, not yes men.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Because if you have somebody in your corner, which we've experienced, you know, throughout your career, oh, you're doing a great job. Nobody tells you you're sucking unless you sit down and do your own.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

You need to hear that though. You do you 100%.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

That's like being a single dad 50% of the time. I want to hear if I'm failing. I want to hear I'm failing at my job. I want to hear. Give me the truth. Don't sugarcoat the shit.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Just tell me.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Yes. And so, like a lot of my shit that he knows of, I bring here. I don't know you guys from what like when I first started coming, I didn't know he was a good one.

SPEAKER_02 23:31

So that's a super unit.

SPEAKER_04 23:33

Yeah, like I know it because he's been talking to me about this stuff, but like he's starting to talk to other people about it.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

So but it might be biased because you're his friend. So it's like he says to Chris, hey, is this effed up? Right. And Chris might be like, yo, that's F'd up. Right. But the point is to know nothing from me.

SPEAKER_04 23:49

We have we're close enough we give each other that kind of feedback. You know, I'm saying though. I do know what you mean. But I I ask him that too. Like, am I wrong in this? And like, we'll give each other our that's right. This is what I really think. But like it or not, do you think you know what I mean? That's just my opinion.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

And one of the flip sides of that coin is like sometimes it hurts to be like, yo, dude, your friend telling you, like, nah, bro, you're wrong, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

And it takes a lot, and like asking asking the hard questions, you know, uh talking about the the 2022 deaths and stuff, you know, asking that question, asking your friends, are you okay? So have you ever thought about the word that I was about to say? It's not I'm not saying that specifically, but I mean just having the courage to be able to say, hey man, this is my thought. Give like giving honest feedback. Where do I go from here? People grumble when they hear feedback.

SPEAKER_04 24:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

Because they want to hear I'm building you up. They don't want to hear the data.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

I even think I was nervous when you opened up my book and started reading it. I was like, oh, don't do that. Well, I mean, we have like a BS relationship, we have a great relationship. I know.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

But it's I hear you, and but we've always poked at each other in a very respectable way.

SPEAKER_04 24:55

Right, right, right. But what I'm saying is, and when somebody puts themselves, it's like you don't want to hear it, but you need to.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

Right.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

And so that's even the comments on the thing. I'm always like, comment. If it's a stupid keyboard warrior thing, then we're just gonna brush past it and I'm gonna make some kind of and I'm gonna sarcastically reply to you. Yes, that feeds our algorithm. You know, comment away. I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

The smartest people on this podcast are the people that comment on it. So keep commenting.

SPEAKER_04 25:20

They're all experts, right? They're all experts.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Well, speaking of comments, that was sarcasm, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 25:24

We need some comments. Comments, what do you mean? About this.

SPEAKER_04 25:27

Oh, we do. We do. So Cody and I shaved the day he I didn't recognize him. The day Cody retired on May 15th.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

That's right. That morning we both shaved.

SPEAKER_04 25:37

We both shaved that morning, and now we are both that far along.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

What is the competition?

SPEAKER_04 25:42

The competition is best beard. By when?

SPEAKER_02 25:45

Uh five days ago.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

Five days ago. We already know who won. I just need you guys to say it.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

I'm not saying anything. Also, like I'm looking for comments. Give us comments all over. Let the civilian say, I'm not gonna say anything around the table for the first time in 27 years. Don't be doing don't be doing the heart string. It's respectable. It's respectable.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

Going for the Chuck Norris, I would say that Cody's got a better name.

SPEAKER_04 26:16

I think we all know one. Cody, you you have to know that I beat you.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Lee's a freaking beard connoisseur.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

It's okay. We're gonna keep going though. Like, not for a competition, but just to see how long we feel like I've had Are you gonna grow it, grow it out?

SPEAKER_02 26:32

You're gonna just I think so, Kyle.

SPEAKER_04 26:33

I mean, yeah, I don't know when I'll shave mine, but I've I you know I'll grow it every now and then real long, and it's kind of fun. You look like a weirdo, but it's still fun. Yeah. So I might I might do that. That's a lot of man stuff. You want to do it? Just grow them? Nah. See for like three months. I can't do it.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

The doctrinal term is beirdo. But yes. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

No kidding. I'm interested to see if the viewers, if anybody, comments on it. I want to hear it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:57

Oh, what? What? Whose beard is better? Yeah. Alright, whose beard is better? Mine.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_04 27:03

You had to say or mine.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

Or mine.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

We'll see you on the camera.

SPEAKER_04 27:09

Yeah. I mean, it's good, dude. It's it's that's the first beard you've ever grown. I think it's funny that we're inverted. Inverted, because it's very gray. It's very gray. Yeah, mine's mine's gray on the bottom. His is not so much. But what's funny is like, so he did 27 years. I did 20 years in the record.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Sorry to misspeak. I meant I meant 27. Sorry.

SPEAKER_04 27:28

When I went and did my uh retirement picture, which is still on my ID, my beard was completely dark, dark, like black. A few years later, streaks of gray and all this stuff. Now, so I said, this is the difference between 20 years retired with a black beard and 27 years retired, all gray. Yep. You know what I mean? But I mean, I don't I don't mind the gray. I like the gray in a beard. Especially when it's like salt and pepper. Especially when it's like stripey and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

But I'm digging it. Got the got the goatee going here. You got the goat. You got the goat.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

Have you always had a goatee when you were out, or did you ever do the full beard?

SPEAKER_00 28:01

I did the full beard for like the a year or two and then I'm just. Do you clean shave your face around it? Yeah, I do all this. It's just oops.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

Like straight big razors? Ooh. A little more, a little more. More.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Sorry. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

More, more, more, more, more. More, more, more.

SPEAKER_04 28:14

More, more, more, more, more, more. Right there, right there. A little bit back. A little bit back. Little bit back. Right there. Right there. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

So you just bic razor it or no, I use a Mark three or five, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

And I do the head, yeah, all that stuff. I just didn't do it because I'm being lazy. Let me ask you a question. You do it in the shower? No. You do it on the sink? I I've had uh the unfortunate little hook in where you you know gouge your brain and then you got blood spurting all over the place.

SPEAKER_04 28:44

And yeah, so now I'm Did you ever see those gimmicky like things where you just forever have you tried those?

SPEAKER_00 28:49

The skull, the skull. Yeah, like where you just do that. I'm in Gillette Mach 5, whatever, $500 for you know, two razor pat. I'm being sarcastic, but you know, yeah, they're expensive as shit. Dude, it's like $30 for like fucking. Well, not with three head.

SPEAKER_04 29:04

I would say safety razors.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

No, I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 29:06

Safety razor is really good for shaving like this. Well, it's edging up is good. Edging up is good with a safety razor.

SPEAKER_04 29:12

But like as far as cleaning your whole face up. No, but I'm saying, like, you put the oil on for the art of shaving. You put the oil on first, and then you do the look at that little kid's got a mohawk. Look at that.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

I'll tell you what, I love going to those places though where they do the old school straight razors.

SPEAKER_04 29:28

I have a straight razor. It came with my kit that my daughter bought me of that thing. And so I've been messing around with it and like shaving with it. I can do it, but it's so fucking hard. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

I went to a place in Charleston that was nice. There's I forgot the name of the place, but they had the big barber chairs. It was a I think you could smoke cigars in there too. Oh it was really cool.

SPEAKER_04 29:47

If I could smoke a cigar while I'm getting a haircut, dude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Yeah, you're in the chair for over an hour. No. Over there, where you could turn your hair.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

Yeah, over there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Forget that.

SPEAKER_04 29:56

That was pretty cool. I like it though. Yeah, but when I go to base, they give me the you know high and tight. The high reg or whatever. I had a high and tight for 20 years in the Marine Corps, which I didn't mind.

SPEAKER_02 30:06

But you did used to rock the freaking strip.

SPEAKER_04 30:09

Yeah, when I was in the Marine Corps. The high and tight.

unknown 30:11

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

But then I retired and grew my hair out. But then when I got back in uniform, I did like a high reg or whatever. And I would I disgusted myself. I was like, why don't you have a high and tight, you turd?

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Nasty.

SPEAKER_00 30:22

I started doing this in uh Norway in 2002 because you know you're wearing the watch cap and all this heck, and you feel gross. Being bald uh in regulation? No. For a period of time, it was thought to be eccentric. Was it? When was this? Like you're the man. Something like that.

SPEAKER_04 30:43

No, I shaved my head a couple times in the Rencore. Like fully down. Yeah, fully down all the way down. Razor shaved. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bald razor. I mean, hell. Just to do it. Like you're on deployment. Who gives a shit? I don't feel like going to the car.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

I can't impress anybody.

SPEAKER_04 30:57

Right. I don't feel like going to the barber, so brrr. But then I learned how to cut my own hair, so I would just go and then I cut it high and tight every time.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

So as you're getting ready for deployment, especially your first one, you get if you don't do it voluntarily, you get chased down. Well, it's gonna be held down. It's gonna happen. And they shave your head. Yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:15

You're supposed to traditionally we shave our heads on the first deployment. Your first deployment. Yep. But I did it for many deployments. Down to what? Like down to a one? Oh down to a nothing.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Like it's all like your hair. Like no guard. Maybe no guard. I'm on a one right now. No guard.

SPEAKER_04 31:29

I would say no guard, just all the way to the city. Zero guard, just budget clippers and you're shaving your head to the baldness. Like boot camp. Basically, yeah. Just to say it's your first deployment. I don't care if you're a staff sergeant.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Kids would over the years, kids would fight it and fight it and fight it. They love their hair nowadays, man. I don't get that, dude. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

These freaking broccoli heads love their hair, man. And you join the Marine Corps and you're like, I'm not gonna let them change me. I won't be like it's just another, it's just another thing of discipline, dude. Like, if it's if this stupid little tiny rule that you can't follow, what makes you think you're gonna follow the bigger rules when it comes time to go to freaking combat, dude? I don't want to, you know. You need your little broccoli hair because you want to look like a fucking disgusting civilian. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

But no, no, no. No, I just kidding. He's got diet from me. No, no, look at his hair right now. I know. I'm talking about military. You know, like I I've talked to Lee off camera, I've talked to you off camera, and Chris, we haven't had this camera uh conversation off camera, but it's like, hey, I feel like I missed out on not joining the military. I think about it all the time. I wish I would have joined the military, and I wish I would have, but and thank God that my family did that. Yeah. At least I can lean into that. Yeah, dude, not everybody needs to join.

SPEAKER_04 32:43

We don't we certainly don't want anybody to feel bad. Like, oh, I'm not even saying it like. I I know, I'm just saying, like, nobody looks, we certainly don't look down on people who didn't fucking serve the military.

SPEAKER_02 32:52

So I don't ever want anybody to feel that way because well, there's always the comment of I was gonna do it. Oh, yeah. I am not that guy.

SPEAKER_04 33:00

I know you're not that guy because you're I'm not that guy because I never passed and you're successful and you're doing great things. Not everybody is made for the military. Not that you wouldn't have done fucking great in the military.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

I'm not saying that.

SPEAKER_04 33:10

I know you're no damn well you would have, you'd have been a freaking beast. But not everybody needs to join the military. So you talk about the rituals. I'm talking about civilians out there. Don't ever apologize for not joining the military. There's those who do and those who don't. It doesn't matter. There's there's we're not in a country where it's like World War II, World War II, and you have to have served, or you're just let your country down. No, it's not like that. We're fine.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

I'll tell you right now.

SPEAKER_04 33:34

We're an all volunteer force still.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

Like one of the civilians I have massive respect for, Sherry Norris. Uh she's why one of the major reasons why I'm sober. I meet with her not personally, you know, but every Tuesday morning uh at 8 a.m. we talked, and you want to talk about a leader. I mean, she didn't wear a uniform day one, but she's been awesome. And you can probably find her own. You don't have to be in the military to be a leader.

SPEAKER_04 34:01

Some of the world's greatest leaders were never in the military.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Absolutely. And there's some hard people out there. I think of uh Cameron Haynes, he's my age. The dude's 55 years old, and he's still running ultra marathons. Well, that's my point, though.

SPEAKER_04 34:12

My point is that we we talk about the military a lot. We're veterans, we're retirees, whatever. We don't in any way mean to say that like if you're not a veteran, you ain't shit. Like if you ain't ordinance, you ain't shit, whatever. Let's do that. I know it's stupid. But it's not that way. I know it's no, come on. It's just one of their fun things that they didn't want to do.

SPEAKER_00 34:28

We'll talk trash, you know, yeah, we'll say nasty civilians. I because because you said so, I created a shirt that says don't pet the civilians. I get it, but we have fun with that. But we have massive respect. But that's its own thing, though. That's a different sect of people, right?

SPEAKER_04 34:44

Yes, right. There are like Simon Senec. He has great leadership books. He was not in the military, but he has great leadership books, great leadership sayings, things like that.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

But he does follow the military quite a bit.

SPEAKER_04 34:56

But he does. Um, and he talks about the Marines Like it, but that's my point is like you don't have to be in the military to be a leader, and I talk about that in here. It's not just military stuff. It's just standard.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

You know what? Simon Senec, we use a lot of his stuff with the Iron Foundation, helping people transition out of the military.

SPEAKER_04 35:12

So yeah, the a boss has the title, a leader has the people.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Simon Seneca. Yep. You everybody's got their own path, and you just gotta embrace your path, and that's that's it. And you gotta be proud of your path. And that's what my father told me.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

He was like, hey, like, I am never gonna look down you on you for not being a marine. And he had this conversation. He had this conversation with me when I was like 27, like when I was beyond being a marine. He was like, I've never looked down on you for not being a marine. He was like, bro, you had your own mission.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

I see your dad running right there on uh up there in Havelock every morning. I saw him running right down the road.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

I'm like, oh shit, there he is. He's like, bro. It doesn't matter, bro. You're good. Like you're you don't first of all, you don't have to like impress me. Your dad's a very good guy. I like that. He is, he is a good dad. You don't have to impress me, first of all, because you're my dad. You already impressed me. You're my kid. Boom. First of all, second of all, you don't have to be a Marine. Like that is not what if that's not your mission, then that's cool. But my I mean, he was like, if you want to do it, okay. But he was like, only do it if you want to do it. Amen. Only do it if you want to do it. I talked to my kids about it.

SPEAKER_04 36:28

Yeah, I talked to my kids about it, but it wasn't like you needed this is what you need to do. No, it was a it was an option. And if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. It was never that Madison almost joined, but she had she had uh cystic acne. I don't want to talk about cystic acne. She doesn't need more, but she had cystic acne and she had to get on some medication for six months. And her recruiter sucked real bad anyway, and I think that might be because her dad is a and I love my dad for that because it's like dude, he's motivated.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

You've met him, you've yeah, oh yeah, he's mo he's a motivator, he's a very big motivator.

SPEAKER_04 36:59

He's almost as motivated as the first sergeant, dude. Yeah, almost back to the I guess back to the kid thing. Can't wait until he sees it as a test to see if you're watching, Terry.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

My uh back to the kid thing. My uh youngest R Gianna, soon to be first lieutenant Gianna Ribassi. Intel officer in the Air Force. When she was uh on the fence, I said, Look, you gotta want it so bad. I'm gonna get dramatic here that you gotta want to fight me. And the reason for that is I actually got into a physical fight with my father because he wouldn't sign my uh papers when I was 17. He didn't want me to, so I said, told my daughter, You gotta want it that bad that you're willing to fight me. This is what you want to do. This is what you want to do. No, I didn't, but I will tell you this.

SPEAKER_04 37:41

I got all right, I'll sign it. She's all bloody on the ground.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

She's gonna she'll she actually like cigars. In fact, she was with me when I first saw this podcast. All right. She came over here and we smoked a cigar on the first podcast that I watched with you guys. Um man, you want to talk about somebody's an emotional level thing. Yep. You want to talk about somebody that had to fight every step for those of us that have gone through the process, every step of the way, she had a roadblock. Uh, you know, whether it was making it through maps, the citadel. Did she do the scholarship or no? No, she was just pure, she went to the Citadel and she got to the point where she told her staff, like, hey, I'm gonna be an officer in the Air Force. You're gonna have to rip this uniform off. This is gonna happen. And uh man, she did, and she's doing awesome now.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

And uh well, my niece wants to join the Air Force as an officer, sir. She wants to go jag. So I've been she's a senior in high school, so I've been and she's very smart.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Straight A's that one close to the belt.

SPEAKER_04 38:41

Straight A's, like awesome, like volleyball goddess, you know. Like she's she's just amazing. So and she's very driven. And so I sent her the Air Force ROTC scholarship information, just to pay the website or whatever. It's because she's a senior. So, like, dude, straight A's, you're the volleyball champion, whatever, like go for this, get that, and then but then I don't know how that translates to JAG because you know how JAG, you have to you get a four-year degree, then you gotta go to law school. Yeah. So if you get the scholarship and you get a four-year degree, you still gotta do the bar, right?

SPEAKER_02 39:11

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:12

But once you're but once you're commissioned, then how do you then go to JAG if you've already if you've already done that? Yeah. So I know as an old a former OSA, you know, I was a recruiter for three years and all my life, I was at the NCYC for two of those years. And then when I was getting ready to come back to the fleet, I went to the OSO for a month or two.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Officer selection officer. Officer selection, I shouldn't say yes.

SPEAKER_04 39:33

Officer selection officer. But I was the officer selection assistant as an enlisted staff sergeant. I uh I I would, you know, go around with him, and we had some JAG people that were in his pool or whatever it's called. So they're lieutenants already, and they're in the JAG program. You know what I mean? They're going through law school still, but they're lieutenants. So I figure that there's an Air Force equivalent somehow.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 39:55

And I I want to find out that information for my niece so she can uh capitalize on that. I think she'll yeah, man, it's like I'm a Marine and I want everybody to join the Marine Corps because I know they're the best. Yeah, they're the best. I mean, we are the best, we know this. But we do. I mean, it's just I mean, it's not everybody in the country.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

It is a department of the Navy, right? Yeah, the men's department. The men's department, right? But it's the men's department of the Navy.

SPEAKER_04 40:19

Right. But but if I were to tell like my Oh, it's gonna sound bad.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Yeah, it's just saying that.

SPEAKER_04 40:24

I don't care what branch you I really don't care what branch you join. If you join if you serve your country, that's that's awesome, man. Younger me would have been like, but if you're in the Air Force, you it's my daughter can do the Air Force, my niece. If my son joined the Air Force, I'd make fun of him. Like, come on, dude.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

Well, I still tease my daughter. Join a man's branch. She's at JK Air Force, JK. Her her squadron's supporting the fight right now, and they're staying intense. And I was I was talking to my daughter, other daughter today. You're staying intense. Yeah, and while I was talking about no, when I was talking to my daughter, said, Yeah, they're glamping.

SPEAKER_04 40:57

I was gonna say they're probably giant, they're probably giant, inflatable tents with like AC.

SPEAKER_02 41:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh they got the bullet beds. Yeah, yeah. The Air Force does it right, man. I can't do anything. I'm a civilian.

SPEAKER_04 41:11

Yeah, but you can, but the Air Force, man, they have you ever seen that show on Netflix Space Force with Steve Corell? Classic. Great show. That's pretty funny.

SPEAKER_00 41:19

My favorite episode is where he was testifying in front of Congress. That that sequence there was awesome. John Malkovich. He is I love John Malkovich because he can play so awesome in it.

SPEAKER_04 41:31

He can play a serious role, he can play a stupid, goofy role. And like in this role, I love it. Because you can tell he's like a doctor and he's smarter than everybody, but they don't take him, you know, they never like listen to him. Yeah. Have you seen it? No, it's pretty fun. Oh my god, it's really stupid. Just know that. It's really stupid, but it's it will make it.

SPEAKER_02 41:49

It's like a spoof. It's a stupid thing.

SPEAKER_04 41:50

It's a spoof on Space Force. There's a spoof. Because, like, seriously, you're in the Space Force. What's space like? I don't know. Like, you've never been there. I don't know. I love the scene where all the joint chiefs are together, and then the Coast Guard Commandant comes in, they're all like, and the Marine General is uh the guy from uh Seinfeld, he's putty from Seinfeld, he's Emperor's new groovy's Kronk. Yeah, you know, he's the guy, so he's a bully.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

Yes, he's like little ground to pound.

SPEAKER_04 42:21

Yeah, and he's the and he's the Marine Corps General. I love that, dude. Oh, and then I'm thinking it's a it's a funny, goofy show. It's stupid, but it's goofy.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

It's classic. What's not goofy is your book, though, and I gotta throw some love to it. Now, I will tell you on a straight pluggage, yeah. Plugage. I got 30 pages into it and I lost my TO weapon. So I was reading it on my way to New Orleans. Uh, this was on Sunday, last Sunday. I put it down to go grab my bag. I came back, and by the time I figured out that it was gone, it was gone. So if you were in the New Orleans airport on the 14th of June, I'd like to have my book back. Yeah, no, if you were in the New Orleans airport on the 14th of June 2026, and you picked up by because I said so, then read and comment on it, and you're welcome for the free copy. So I now I'm gonna carry Terry's making me carry it everywhere now. You're the man so I don't lose it again. I'm gonna have to dummy court it to myself.

SPEAKER_04 43:15

Yeah, it just is put it like a punch through it.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

But it is very good. It is one of those very good leadership books. Thank you very much. Thank you. I appreciate that. You know, and I'm a big fan of Jocko Willink and all, and it it's this is the same kind of theme about owning, taking responsibility, like you said, as a leader, you know, and and understanding what that means, when it goes right, when it goes wrong. Hey, you're the one that's responsible for it. So I'm looking forward to getting through the rest of the book here.

SPEAKER_04 43:42

Yeah, it's not always easy, and that's like I you know, a lot of these leadership books are just do this, just do that. Well, that's not the way real life works, man. You know what I'm saying? Like go for it.

SPEAKER_02 43:53

So it's like you say that about the book, digging it up, and it's like I just want to give a shout out to my podcast partner. It's like Hey man, you did the work. You have gone through school and you've freaking done the knowledge. I mean, obviously, you're a first sergeant. We don't we know how that much much that means.

SPEAKER_01 44:09

But he's not a real doctor.

SPEAKER_04 44:12

I mean anyway, it's like you've done the footwork.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

I'll have a look too.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

You're a writer. You're a writer. You're a writer. You're a writer. I'm not really a writer. But you've done it. Yeah, that's my book. Have you written three books?

SPEAKER_01 44:26

Have you written three books? I sure as fuck. He's a writer.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

He's a writer, right? I do enjoy writing. Four, actually. So the only thing that I said to cut you off is to say is a shout out. Like, thank you for doing that. Thank you, man. It's awesome.

unknown 44:39

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

I bought my copy.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Thank you. Great. So because of the example Lee and other friends of mine said, Yeah, I got a book together too. I just gotta figure out how to get the damn thing published. Everybody has a book in them. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 44:51

And that's why I wrote the novel, the fiction one that I wrote. It's a journal, bro. Everyone has a book in them. Yeah, it's a journal unless you want to write a fiction. Everybody has a story. Write a story, dude. Make it up. It's nobody can tell you you're wrong. I'm about to make the story up yourself, dude.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

I'm about to start journaling. I think that it might be important journal. It is healthy. Okay, so we talk about the table, right? We talk about how we need to talk to each other. Yep. Okay, so the secondary level of that is like maybe I don't have a table. I have a book that I can write down things. That's the same thing as speaking about loud. Just having a conversation. You gotta put it down.

SPEAKER_04 45:30

You have to say it because you're putting your thoughts out there so they're real. They're not like something you're burying down and choking on and crying about, bitching about. You're putting them out there. This is how I feel about this shit. Yeah, and and and would we be saying this 20 years ago? As fucking hard-headed Marines now to be like journaling.

SPEAKER_00 45:47

You're a fucking pussy. No, yeah, yeah. That is huge. And you know, as since we're talking about Marines again in books, uh, another Marine, Carla Murphy, I read her book on the way to New Orleans as well. I didn't lose her book. Uh thanks, buddy. Fuck yours. Yeah, yeah, your book was worth losing. Hey, go buy that book. But uh Carla actually What's her book called? B10. B10. And it's all about opening a business. I've read a lot of business books, and I will tell you that when I go start my business, which I will be soon too, uh, I'm using her book as the model. I like that. She actually lives in Jacksonville. Uh she went to the Naval Academy, Marine Captain. Uh Carla, if you like cigars, you know, you should probably come back to the colour. Come on and be on the podcast, talk about your book. Yeah, come down. Be one of zero.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

I like that because it's like be one of your own, like nobody else is your competition.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

When you read that book, it is it's not her like we were talking about earlier, somebody telling you what to do. Yep. No, she actually has you doing exercises in the book to really get you prepared. She helps people find companies. Starting a business. Yeah. And I mean, she's so good at it that she's in Bali right now because one of her clients flew her to Bali to help her out. And yeah, she's on a little World War. So we might need all the time. But that's only the prize. That's not the journey.

SPEAKER_02 47:05

That's the prize. Yes. That's not the journey, that's the prize of the footwork. Yeah. You're good. Yeah. So like I heard that. I kind of want to say something that is like not to go like too deep or whatever and like make it dark or whatever. But it's like, hey, I'm 35 years old now. Exactly. But I have never had these thoughts in my life that I've ever had until I was 35. I'm a grown man now. I'm a grown adult. I'm a I'm a husband. You know what I mean? And it's like, hey, these thoughts creep in your head, like, hey, am I doing good? Am I okay? That's right. You start thinking about stuff. Yep. Where it's like, hey, am I doing good enough? And then the other dark thought creeps in that it's like, hey, I'm not doing good enough. That could be easy for anybody to think of.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

For sure. I'm not doing good enough. Especially if you're a competitor, running marathons or you know what I'm saying, doing a reverent warrior's hikes. It's like I'm not good enough. I'm not doing good enough. And that can bleed into your brain, bro. And it's like, bro, and it's like, dude, you it's good. You're good. But like it's easy to sit here and say that you're good. But in day-to-day life, it's there. It's there. You know what I'm saying, though. I do. You guys know what I'm saying? What's up? I'm rolling. Reassurance. Having that reassurance. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go like terribly dark.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

I didn't mean to go terribly dark. No, I just didn't want to interrupt Cody here, but since he's taking a sip, so but you get to a certain age, and it's like, because I'm younger than you guys.

SPEAKER_02 48:39

I'm younger than y'all. But it's like these thoughts creep in as an adult man. Yeah. You're like, hey, am I doing good enough as a man? And you start to question yourself. You question yourself.

SPEAKER_01 48:50

I think all of us right here have felt that. All of us. To this day.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

Question yourself. You're like, am I doing good enough?

SPEAKER_00 48:59

So here's here's where I think it needs to go, TK. And this is just me, my perspective on it. Is well, you gotta decide what's good enough for you. You gotta set your own standards, what you get. Like, I'm not gonna go. I understand it. No, no. What I'm saying is you can't say, well, I'm 35. I should have, you know, this much money in the world. Right. There's no standard. There's no standard. But your standard. There is, it's gotta be yours because you gotta decide what's good for you and not what's good for, you know, okay, you know, for anybody. A popular opinion. You gotta believe I have my own goals and standards for myself. And that's how I gauge if I'm good enough or not. I don't look and say, oh, I'm 55 years old. I should have a million dollars in the bank right now or whatever. I should invest it. Right. I'm not winning because I don't have that. Right, no. Blah, blah, blah. You gotta decide what you want, and then you'll it will help you. I'm not even talking about monetary. No, no, no, no. That was just an example. Holistic. No, I know. Holistic value. Values level.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

Values level. Am I being a good person at this stage in my life? Am I doing good?

SPEAKER_01 50:06

Let me run this past you. So that goes through my mind a lot, especially going through my decision. I'll start crying. Everything like that. So there's a lot of questioning. And going back to the whole tribal thing, I mean, relying on your tribal. Like we said, we've cried on each other's shoulders before. 100%. So that's what friends do. That's right. That's what people don't understand. That's what friends are.

SPEAKER_02 50:30

That's right. That's what friends do.

SPEAKER_01 50:32

And then to back up what Chris is saying, to where you can sit in your backyard, because I've done this. It's like shit. I have a house right here. I have everything good. Yes, I have two beautiful girls who are smart, who are healthy, who are doing a I've got a pool right here. I've got grass in my yard. I've got food in my cupboards.

SPEAKER_04 50:48

It's like I'm not, yeah, you're not wanting for anything. No, it's about keeping up with missing something. Right, but you have what you need, you have what you what you have probably wanted. You know, like if you could tell your 10, you know, 20 years from now, you look at your life now, you have two beautiful girls, beautiful house, beautiful pool. You like all this stuff.

SPEAKER_02 51:07

But why do I have all that and still feel like I'm missing something, one thing? That's natural, but then again, it goes to you and it's not. And that's not a that's not a testament to my wife. That's it's like that. That's a part of the good part. That's that burning desire in you to always accomplish more.

SPEAKER_04 51:23

That's that's I agree. That's that that's that thing.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

It's not that like my life sucks.

SPEAKER_04 51:28

It's like no, no, no, no. It's I I I have always been a high performing, you know, I always have to be a high performing person. I have everything that I love, but I gotta now do another thing because I have to. And so I'm always asking him, I'm like, dude, you you've run how many marathons, you've done this many things, and you're gonna do a half iron man. Bro, we're not young anymore. And he's like, Yeah, and then next year I'm gonna do this other stupid thing.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

I'm like, it's all stupid.

SPEAKER_04 51:52

No, but you know what I'm saying. And I'm like, that's what it is. So we think same with me. Like, I've I've got this band and I'm doing this. Now I want to I want to write more songs, I want to have a music channel of my own where I'm just writing stuff and play. I'm like, why? I've already done all this music stuff, but that's just us wanting to keep on growing.

SPEAKER_02 52:09

Like, hey, why do you want to keep doing this stuff? Journaling to go. I don't want to keep doing it, I want to get better at it. I want to do something else. You were just talking about journaling. I want to get better at it, too.

SPEAKER_01 52:17

Start talking on start talking to the pen. Let it do it, and you'll figure it out, man. What's it I've written pages?

SPEAKER_02 52:23

I've written pages before. Do you ever read them back? Do you ever read them back? I don't like to do that. Maybe you need to. I don't like to read it again. It'll make me sad. It'll make me sad to read it back.

SPEAKER_04 52:33

So you use it as a get your thoughts on the page. Yeah, and get it out of my page. At least I got to tell somebody, even if it's that page, that inanimate object. I just told the book. Right. I just told the book. What good is it if you're never gonna get feedback from that?

SPEAKER_02 52:47

That's right. Well, it's gonna make me cry if I read it. Well, is that helpful?

SPEAKER_01 52:50

Sometimes truth hurts. Or in the world.

SPEAKER_02 52:53

Because when I'm writing when I'm writing it, that is the realest shit that I've ever wrote. We scared Chris off. Well, the realest thing I've ever wrote is when I've journaled. Well, if you want the realest feedback, read it. Because I've read it before. I've read it. And then you know what you do after that? Turn it into a song or a poem. I've read it like I've read the first four sentences and be like, oh, I don't want to read this anymore, because then now I remember what I felt like when I was writing it.

SPEAKER_04 53:18

Do you ever because I know you're a writer in that way because I know you're raping it? It's like deep, it's like deep level writing. What I'm saying though is I know you are also a music writer. Like you write your raps, you write, you know, that kind of shit. Have you ever thought about turning these things into a poem or a song or a rap or go poem level?

SPEAKER_02 53:39

Poem level.

SPEAKER_04 53:39

You see what I'm saying? It's a poem. Yeah, but a poem you can turn into a song or a rap.

SPEAKER_02 53:43

It's a poem. Because it's like, dude, it's like an emotional dump.

SPEAKER_04 53:47

What I'm saying is, think about what and then read it, it's gonna hurt you. Read it, but then turn that into like a rhyming poem or a rhyming rap or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 53:55

So if you do agree, like to read it back would I think read it? It's gonna suck, but you can't. It's gonna suck back. But it's facing it though, you know. That's right. I've literally put it, you're facing it. You're facing it. I've literally been at my work desk before, like like writing something. I've written something at my work desk because that's like that's my decompression time. Like at home, I don't write at home. I'll write at work because I have the downtime there. Yep. And then like two weeks will go by and like I'll go to write again and I'll have to like you gotta turn past those pages. So it's like, hey, what did I write on, you know what I'm saying? Like May 14th. What did I write? Or May 13th. And I'll look at it and I'll scan it and I'll be like, yo, I don't want to read that. Because it was real bad. It's it's terrible. It's terrible that it's terrible that like the journaling comes from like for me. Not everybody, for me, it it's terrible that journaling comes from like I just need to get off. Pain it's pain, it's pain, yeah. And it's not even it's in my life, my life doesn't suck. My life doesn't happen. No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 54:59

But you're not journaling good feelings, you're not journaling things that make you happy.

SPEAKER_02 55:03

I need to outset these bad things that I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_04 55:06

Like, that's what I mean. So you're only journaling bad things, so that's it.

SPEAKER_02 55:15

And it's not those words, but it's like, hey. I mean, I'll tell I'll say it right now. I'll say whatever I want to say right now. It'll be like, hey man, why do I feel this way? Why do am I fucked up? You know what I'm saying? Like what anybody would write in a journal. Why do I feel this way? Yeah, no, no, no. Am I fucked up for feeling super mad about this? Like, blah blah blah, like writing, writing, writing, like, hey, are am I okay? Like, am I okay? Like, dude, like it's when I journal, when I have journaled, is like I'm talking to myself.

SPEAKER_04 55:48

I know, and that's what it is. That's what it is. But my question was have you ever journaled in a good way, happy things, good things? Yes, I have. But is it mostly bad?

SPEAKER_02 55:58

It's a lot of bad.

SPEAKER_04 55:59

Yeah, because you you feel like you can go and tell your friends about the badge. Because that's a decompressed badge. Because you can tell your friends about the good things, but you don't want to talk about the bad things, so you journal that.

SPEAKER_02 56:07

And I don't want to weigh this on my wife when I like lay that all on her.

SPEAKER_01 56:11

So you guys are in this together. That's dangerous, too. We're in that together. It's dangerous, dude. So you've got to take that secrets or don't keep shit from me. Don't keep shit. No, so maybe, hey, babe. I want you to. I'm feeling down. Take a page down. Screenshot a page or whatever. Take a picture. What do you think about this?

SPEAKER_04 56:30

Yeah, this is how I feel. Right. I just need to tell you because I love you, and you know, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 56:35

You're not her life, you're not sure.

SPEAKER_04 56:36

Well, this isn't even like concerning her.

SPEAKER_02 56:38

This is not even concerning her.

SPEAKER_04 56:42

What he means is it's not about her. Like he's not mad.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

No, it's not like we had a fight. And I agree with that.

SPEAKER_04 56:49

But what what he's saying, what I'm saying is, even still, whatever's going on with you, you want to. It's like too much. It's like clucking too much. Right. But the closest person in your world is her. And the way that you guys are going to be one unit is tell each other that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_05 57:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:06

You gotta tell it. A little bit. You the most vulnerable shit about you, your wife should know. You know what I mean? I mean, we can give her a big thing. She knows every damn thing. I'm really saying, and I'll tell you right now. I'm just saying, she's gonna be your biggest. I'm telling you, she will be the biggest build. She's gonna be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_02 57:22

I'm gonna keep it real on the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 57:24

She's gonna build you, but she's gonna help you. She's gonna build you up, and she does, man. She's like the fuck is that? Oh, you're doing one of those things.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

Oh, yeah. She's like, hey, you're not the best at communicating.

SPEAKER_01 57:36

Guys suck at communication. And I'm like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 57:40

Instead of telling her.

SPEAKER_00 57:41

I don't know how to do it. And I'll tell you, I'm going, I'm going through a divorce right now, partially because that part of my divorce right now is I lost, I used to be able to do it, and then I just lost the ability to express how I'm going to do it. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. Yeah. Well, you can just say it, but I like you know what? I didn't lose the ability to do it. I lost the desire to do it. I lost the design. Exactly. And you know, just to round out what you're talking about. I wrote a song about how I felt when my wife left. You did. Just and I'm not, you know, to round out the whole thing. I'm not trying to make a screen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'll we'll get back to funny, but um I got a funny story. I got I got some funny stuff going on here. But um, you know, about the whole am I doing enough or whatever, you gotta look and say, okay, what are your expectations? Like for me, I wanted to run the 50th Marine Corps marathon and finish it. Two and a half miles in, my back's eased up. I didn't finish the damn thing. So I watched 30,000 people blow past me.

SPEAKER_04 58:35

You didn't finish it, but you two and a half miles, let's not say I didn't finish it.

SPEAKER_00 58:38

No, I didn't barely start it.

SPEAKER_04 58:40

Yeah, you're you're right. I didn't even make it. No, no, you're right.

SPEAKER_00 58:43

So is that even realistic that I can do it in my mind? I still have to do it. But here's the thing, you are freaking there. No one other people that can talk shit is not there. Right. They're not even there.

SPEAKER_04 58:54

Who else is pushing themselves to go run a freaking marathon?

SPEAKER_00 58:56

They're not there, right? But when I'm what I was getting at, TK is you know, is is what you're I'm being real right now. Right, I'm being real. But is where you want to be achievable, is what I'm saying. Can you you are your expectations where you want them to be, where it's emotionally, financially?

SPEAKER_02 59:15

And honestly, it's like, dude, I made a video on social media the other day. I was like, dude, I want to freaking do every single thing I want to do.

SPEAKER_04 59:22

That's what we all we were talking about earlier.

SPEAKER_02 59:24

It sounds lame as shit.

SPEAKER_04 59:25

No, it doesn't do that. And I love that you put it out there because you're holding yourself accountable for it.

SPEAKER_02 59:29

Because it's like, hey, dude, I want to play more golf. I want to enjoy my life, I want to be a better husband to my wife, I want to be a better person, I want to be a better friend, I want to be a better producer, I want to be better everything, and it's like, hey, and then when you put it out there like that. You gotta say that shit out loud. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 59:46

When you put it out there like that, it's you holding yourself.

SPEAKER_02 59:48

I don't want to do that. Like, and I'm not saying that for likes. I'm not that shit could get zero likes. I don't give a shit. But that's my journal. That's my journal right there on that video. I'm gonna put a plug in. My journal is in that video.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:03

Do you still have uh base access? No. Shit. Continue. MCCS on base at Cherry Point specifically. I've been to those guys like the counselors and the I'd love to talk to one. Not not necessarily the counselors. Counselors are great, don't get me wrong. And for those of you that believe that if you you're a pussy or you're less of a man or you're less of whatever for going to counseling, you're fine. I'm fucking wrong. I'm not sure. I find that shit, bro. Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:29

No, I think that stigma's gone away over the last 10 to 10. It has a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:32

It has to happen. But where I was going with that, they also, MCCS also has classes, one of which is communication and how to communicate with your spouse. I took that for my kids.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:41

I want to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:42

So you have that want, you have that desire. It's been identified. We just identified it. So take those next steps. Look on base, look, your dad can get you uh access, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

Nicole can get me access. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:53

So, and even better, babe. I'm doing this for us. I'm gonna go to this class. Yeah, do you want to join me? Do you want do you want me to do it alone? What do you want? You know, and then they have like classes.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:04

It's not like we're like messed up like as a marriage or whatever. But you're doing brand new myself better as a dude. I just want to be better as a dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:13

What I've heard is you shouldn't go to therapy as we just got married.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

Don't let don't get it twisted.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:19

It's almost like you shouldn't go to therapy as a fix to something. You should go so that you don't need to go later on.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:24

That's right. Amen to that.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:25

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

Like it's like all it is, is I'm trying to stave off something later.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:30

Yeah, all it is is us trying to communicate better. And we do that preemptively. It's not like we have 20 years from now we might have a problem. But if we start working if we start right now going to a class that helps us communicate better, that helps us understand each other better, then what it doesn't you don't have to be in trouble to go to a class like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:47

We don't have problems. Let me put that what I'm saying is. Let me put that clear as on the bottom.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:52

Oh, I know you already did. What I'm saying is any couple, what he's saying is stigma for going to therapy. Right. Any couple, no matter what, you should seek out these things that make your your your relationship stronger and helps you to communicate. Because we're all young. I don't know. No, we do none of us can. None of the dudes can. I can't like this is what I do until you learn, like from your spouse.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:17

In the round table, I'll tell you this is what happens when I get upset. What happens when I get upset? I just uh say nothing. Yep, yeah, yep, yep. All right, I'm I'm good. I'm just chilling.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:28

Yeah, and then and then that pisses off the other person. So check us out.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:31

You know what I'm saying, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, hey, I don't have the energy to argue. I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:36

So that right there, the one word that you just said, can you pick out nope, argue? Argue. I don't want to fucking argue. I hate arguing. I despise like me personally, Cody Gormley, despise arguing. Let's talk like humans. What and so in my household, with me and my girls, one of the classes that I took was on communication. And rather than assuming somebody's feelings like you're acting angry, emotional intelligence, everything like that. I'm not gonna say and this happens a lot to many couples, many everything. Damn, why are you so angry? What's what's got you pissed? I'm not. That's right. So people assume that um that emotion rather than saying, and me and my girls, five and eight, and they address you that way, they address you that you're mad. They did. So now five and eight-year-old little girls, they say, What are you feeling? Or I ask them, What are you feeling? This is something really cool to be able to do. Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay and what are you feeling?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:27

This is what he does with his kids, and I love it.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:29

All the time. I ask my girls, and they ask me, What are you feeling? Because they may be. Because he'll be pissed.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:35

Hold on, he'll be pissed sometimes, like out of the and then his daughter will come up and just melt his fucking head. You're being a grump, you're being a grump, or something like that. You're being grumpy. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:44

And you're right, okay, I am grumpy. And he gets, you know what? You're right.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:48

And they they gotta do something fun or something.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:50

My girls have full declaration. If dad's being a grump, they say, Dad, you're being a grump, go sit down. They have full declaration to say that. And I honor that ten times.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:01

That's right. Yeah, and he re and he slows down and recognizes what he's doing. We all do that, dude. We all throw temper down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:09

So with something for you to practice, even just walking away from here, rather if if whatever's going on, you can say that, or have Nicole say that, you know what? Rather than assuming my feelings, better than me, I'll say that.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:22

She's better than me.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:23

That's good. That's good. But with me and my daughters, that is a so common comment in our house. What are you feeling? And then we address it. Okay, do you need some time? Do you need to go to your room or do you want to talk about it?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:34

Take a breath. Take a breath.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:36

That's right. And we address it. And calmly. Do you need a few minutes? That's a very common uh other statement. And then we can talk. That's right. My daughter, she'll just be having a terrible day. She'll go crying up to a room. I'll go knock on our door a few minutes later. Are you are you okay? Or do you need more time? I need more time. Cool. I honor it. All right. You know? And so those little steps, and this I learned it all from the class on bass. And go to the case.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:01

Would you agree that it gets harder the older you get? 100%.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:05

But it gets more I think it gets more fun and more educational. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:09

And it's more decisive the older you get.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:11

It is. And so I'm glad I have the opportunity to share that with my daughters who are so young. To like much of what Lee Lee was saying, they're I'm strengthening their emotional intelligence.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:21

And just for them, oh no, because they're going to be able to move through phases of life and be like, hey, this is not for me. I'm out of here. Right. Boom.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:28

But they'll be able to be able to identify. Imagine my daughter They'll know immediately. Right. But they'll they'll roll into their boyfriend, their their boyfriend stages. But they'll be able to read something's going on. I'm not gonna assume. I'm gonna, you know, if they want to keep their ways.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:46

And I'm not gonna exist in this. Right. I'm not gonna exist in this. Right. Because it it's not good for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:52

And it's just helping them become better women. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:55

I say it got higher for me because I started seeing directions that I wanted to go in my life. And it just I'm not gonna get in the weeds on it, but it just uh it got hard for me to communicate and and do all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:07

It does, yeah, communicating with children and community. I didn't mean to go down that road, but I'm just saying it's we've all experienced different shit, dude.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:13

That was a fantastic topic because it it's perfect to talk about because a lot of people feel that way.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:18

Yep, but I will say before just listen to me real quick communicating with a child versus communicating with an adult, two different fucking worlds, man. I can only believe depending on the adult, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:28

So if you're or it might be the one in the same, depending on the adult. I mean shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:34

You're right. That's what I mean. So, in order, if you could take just some tiny tools, what are you feeling, or give it? Can I give you a few minutes or something like that? Sure. Just take those tiny things and apply it, you'll see vast differences. But I without a shadow of doubt, MCCS.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:49

Not to be confused with the bath deference.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:51

But I have something to say to you after you're done. I do have one more thing to say.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:55

MCCS, Cherry Point, uh or My hometown. That's right. Have luck. Uh Marine Corps, Marine, and Family Services, they're by the seven days to work. I know exactly what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:07

Did you say Marine of the Quarter first? No, I didn't know. No, he did not. He did not.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:12

Hands down. The staff and the classes and the information that they have in that building is out of this freaking world. So if you've done anybody watching those classes, I have. And I went to counseling, all sorts of different counseling through that class or in that building. So if anybody's watching this and they have to do it. I know exactly that.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:27

And I was like, dude, that's so freaking hard. Okay, it's voluntarily taken all these classes, and I'm like, dude, Marine Corps family team building.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:37

It's outstanding. They have fantastic programs across the whole spectrum. Yeah, we're not just going to talk about uh you know Gurkha cigars and carrying one on a chamber here and on this podcast. We're gonna talk about other things too, you know. It's a it's important stuff.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:52

We uh I was talking to TK today earlier about we need to have a segment called uh basement dweller comments. You know, the basement dwellers, the people who live with their mommies and they they're in their waiting for that with meatloaf, no meatloaf, man, no kitty piss. You know, the the the the kids that are in mommy's basement and they make their comments, no skill, no, no nothing, no freaking. What's funny is look, we so when they make their comments, it feeds the algorithm, so it helps us out every time. But it also, if I comment back, that helps the algorithm. So I'm always gonna reply. Like, and then I do some sarcastic thing, like, hey man, I because I'll check out their channel and it's like, hey Penny, Penny, you think maybe there's a podcast going on? All right, how do we do this?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:40

Oh Pete Pete is gonna get you Penny.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:45

Stop it.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:46

I don't think Marine Corps Family Team Building has dog counseling, but if it didn't no, there's a family right there playing the toss room while barking.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:54

Anyway, yeah, you remember when she was a cute little puppy on the show?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:57

Yeah, not so much anymore.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:59

She's still a puppy, she is a cute little puppy, but she's being a bad girl right now, barking.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:03

Yeah, Penny.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:04

Oh, and I didn't bring her collar either. What was I talking about just now? Yes, Penny come.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

Oh, you were talking about the comments.

unknown 1:09:11

God damn it.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:12

Anyway, so uh so then you check their, so then I'm like, oh, this is so funny because we're going back and forth. And I'm it's an eighth grader, you know what I mean? Like their comments are so stupid and they misspell everything. And then you go to their pay their YouTube channel, and the only things they have posted are like other people's gaming.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:28

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:29

I'm like, dude, you are the pimply kid on South Park that's like all fat and like greasy and like sitting at your keyboard, and I'm like, this is so embarrassing for you. Like that you took the time because you don't like the con the content, so you took the time to stop, make a comment to help our algorithm. Thank you very much. Of course, because you you could have just just keep on scrolling. Just like one dude was like, Oh, you took the time to comment back, like your ego must have blah blah blah. And I'm like, you don't know how algorithms work on YouTube, brother. It's like, yeah, I'll keep on commenting. I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:04

I'm not a fan of comments, I don't comment unless it's something positive. You know, then I'll say something.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:09

Comment funny comments, you know, and we get a lot of funny, and I love it, dude. The funny comments are funny, but like when you get the keyboard warriors that are just you know mommy's special widow boy that's out there, like doesn't do shit, doesn't play an instrument, but has everything to say about you know music and stuff like that. Of course, doesn't freaking go. They know everything about nothing, they're experts. So that's what's funny to me is those two because we all know them in real life, they're all turds. Uh but but the ones who are like making funny comments that like even on the gun one, they'll make funny comments. And I'm like, dude, that is hilarious. That is freaking great. I want so what we what we're gonna do is have like a weekly segment where we call where we talk about basement dweller comments. And then we like basement dweller comments, and it's like a kid like really clever, really great content. You know, and we'll do something like that. Hey! No. Um what was that?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:09

She need she needed to get that last bark out though. I saw how she did that. It was good. I love that she was.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:14

I've got to ask EK with your the pull-up. This is the third time I've asked you now about that or talk about it. So what started that and what direction is that going?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:25

Generally up. Um like started off what I said on the video when I was like, hey, I want to be a better person.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

It started from that, and then um I just started working out, bro. Nice and the the way that I am as an athlete, I'm a runner. Like, not us.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:47

Yes. You said you got some miles, didn't you?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:50

I'd be lit. No, that was like I do like two miles. I mean, I'm not like a runner runner like you. No, man.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:57

You guys, I can't run. I'm not allowed to run ever for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:00

I'll run, I'll I'll I'll activate my phone and be like, hey, you've run two miles. Or or you've ran a mile. You've ran a mile. Alright, now I'm about to run back home. And then I'll lift. And then I'll lift. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:14

So that started that, and um, it just was really on some things like you know how many people aren't doing that.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:21

I don't know where started.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:21

You know how many people are started it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:23

TK, do you know how many people aren't doing that? A lot. And they're just sitting around like, man, I'll get around to it one day.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:29

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:30

You know what I mean? That's right. What did we used to say?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:32

Do today what others won't, so you can do tomorrow what others can't.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:35

I sent that to my son uh yesterday.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:38

It really like the athlete in me was like, hey, like I'm drinking today. Like, obviously, like I've got to do it. Give yourself a break. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, hold on. There's a comma, there's a comma. There's a comma there. But it's like, hey, I can do this and then go do that. Yeah. Amen. So I hear you. You know what was awesome when I was like, hey, you gotta you want to go do the loop with me, Nicole? You want to go do a little loop? That's four miles. Yeah. And she was like, Yes. Yes! Let's do it. I'm jealous. We didn't run the whole time. We didn't run. And I'm not sitting here saying that we're gonna run the whole time. We ran, walk, ran, walk, ran, walk, ran, walk.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:21

And who else is doing that? You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. You go better yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:25

Taylor Notion Road, just like walking. It's like, but we're here though. We're doing it. I've always wanted to lose the colour. It was like, hey, it was like, hey, she was like, I need to stop. I was like, oh, we'll stop. That's it. But there was times when I was like, I need to stop.

unknown 1:13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:44

She was running and I needed to stop. And I was like, let's stop. And she was like, all right, we'll walk. That's good, man. We ran walk four and a half miles. And that was like we did that. And then she went to the uh she went to the growler to work after that that night.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:00

So how far is this journey gonna go? Like, what are you what are you doing next? Like you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:03

I just want to keep it going. Yeah, I just want to keep the general direction. Just keep moving. That's good. Daily active stuff. Healthy wise and happy. Because I'm lifting. I'm lifting. She's not like lifting like I am. And I'm not trying to get like jacked. I'm just trying to like be bigger and like burn fat.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:28

That is jacked, dude. Get bigger is getting no, but you're right. Like be in shape. I want to burn fat. Like I want to be in shape and be like in shape. You know what I mean? Take my shirt off anytime.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:38

I want to do whatever my body is capable of. Right, right, right. Because I don't think that I'm there right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:44

I love what you're saying, because I'm all that's why I do the shit that I do. It's like I'm 46, almost 47. You're not old. You're older.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:51

But you're not old. And you're not old. You're not old. I'm almost 45. You're 55? I'll be 55 on July 5. You're not old.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:58

You know, but you want to see what like what can I do? What exactly? What direction can I go? Yeah. It's it's gotta be.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:05

I love the feeling. And what pisses me off is like I was an athlete prior. So it's like I've done this thing where I've like smoked cigarettes and smoked. Got it. Freaking, you know, drank beer and done all this. And I'm like, dude, like too much when you're older, but I'm like, I'm a beast. I'm like, I need to get back to beast level. Like I'm a beast. Hell yeah, dude. And what what what's better than a beast in your mid-30s? That's right. That's right. You're supposed to be a freaking beast.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:35

Then you got that dad strength. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:37

It's like, bro, I'm supposed to be a beast right now. I'm supposed to be a beast.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:41

When I was in my 30s, I was one of my fastest times. That's what I did the Huntington. I did the Huntington Beach Marathon. My best shit in my 30s. I miss Boston back.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:50

So far. So far.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:52

Clock it. So far, because I ain't done.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:54

Clock it.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:55

I ain't done.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:55

Oh no. So what are you guys saying?

SPEAKER_04 1:15:57

I'm doing my 30 pull-ups. I don't give a shit how long it takes me.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:00

I was talking to a friend of mine about a completely different subject, but she said something to me. Her name's Maggie Mae. Great bookkeeper. Maggie Mae.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:08

Wake up Maggie. Bookkeeper I woman.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:13

She uh she said this to me uh consistency fosters motivation. Wait, say that again. That's the thing. Consistency fosters motivation. Because if you're consistent and you're seeing success, even if they're a little successful, you're gonna keep doing it. You're gonna keep doing it. That's why I'm doing the thousand words. That's why I go to Hot Works every day.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:34

That's what makes me wake up at 5 30 again when Nicole's getting up. I'm like, yo, it felt good yesterday. I'm gonna do it again.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:40

Yep, it fosters motivation, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:43

And you don't don't discount the fact that I wake up at 5 30 and like, damn, I don't want to do this shit. Oh hell yeah. It sucks. Yeah. And I'm like, if you do it, you'll feel better. Yep. Yeah. And then you get on the back side of that workout and you're like, damn, I thank God I just did it. When you're done. Thank God I did it.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:03

Yep. I was in uh I was doing my workout yesterday in the garage and it's you know 90 degrees outside, which I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:10

Like it's and this is beyond the accountability chat that we had before.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:14

Yeah. But what I'm saying, I was doing my workout and I was like, it it would be so easy to stop right now because I've done enough for it to be my, you know, it's my first week, so I'm trying to. I'm easing into it, and I was like, nah, I gotta do another, another one more like. This is where progress happens. And I'm like to myself, I'm like, dude, I'm fucking tired. I'm sore as shit from other muscle groups. And I just kept going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:39

And I was like, but that's where the work happens. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:42

I was like shaking at the end. I was like, nobody, I didn't do that for the Marinko, I didn't do that for some test. I didn't do that for nobody's pushing me to do that. I did it for me because I know next time I have to do that or better. Yep. You see what I'm saying? That's the standard. Yeah, that's the standard. I get in my own head, like I think you do too. I'm very competitive. I'm very competitive with myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:03

Because I run alone. And Nicole, my wife, yeah. She's we ran together for the first time the other day, and she was like, You don't run with music?

SPEAKER_04 1:18:11

I was like, No. I've run with music, but I've run without. I've done two marathons, like ten half marathons.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:18

There's times where it creeps in my head, like, hey, you can walk from here. You're in your coldest cycle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, no, and then the other that's the devil.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:27

That's the devil on one shoulder, and then the angel on the other shoulder says, but let's see how far I can push it. Maybe I can go a little bit further than I thought I would.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

Or I'm gonna sprint now.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:36

Or I'm gonna sprint now, even though I wasn't supposed to. Maybe I'll push myself even more because this one says to stop. If you get that idea in your mind, no, I'm cool. Thanks, buddy. No, I'm just kidding, I just can't, I just kidding. I'm just joking, I'm just joking. So, but you know what I mean? Like that's I've been there when I went back when I could run. I can't run anymore. For those of you who don't know, I have a heart condition. But I used to run, and he's the one that Cody's the one that got me into running and made me a good runner. I'm sorry, man. I'm like I'm not a braggart, I am a braggart. We are all right. Something to your point.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:09

It's like, hey, you get to that moment and run. I don't give a fuck if it's 15 minutes in or two hours in. It's like I could slip. I could walk, or I could walk for a bit.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:19

But then you tell yourself, you're like, I could do that, or I could do the opposite and make myself even less comfortable. You could power up. This is my time to put my body in an uncomfortable. You're about to quit.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:31

You're about to quit.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:32

Yeah. When I'm about to quit, I want to push harder. And I did that many times.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:38

Because what your brain is saying mentally.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:40

But I've also quit many times. I've also I've also walked many times and you know what I'm saying? I'm not saying I'm a machine and I'm like, oh, I just go out and win every time. Agree. No, no, no, no. I've quit many times. But now the older I get, you let yourself down.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:54

You lay yourself down.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:54

The older I get, though, the more I hold myself accountable for shit like that. And I wish I was this way back then. Because I'll be lifting.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:01

So, like, how would you feel when you walk home and you're like, damn, I better be like.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:05

I could have ran the whole freaking week. I could have ran here. No, I feel like I'm gonna be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:07

I'm not that tired. I'm not that tired. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:10

And when it came to running, it's like, nah, I'm not there yet. I for some reason I could set up, I'm not stopping until I get back. For some reason, running, I could just I'll shuffle if I have to, but I'm running the whole freaking week. At least keep the legs moving. And he knows, man, he's seen me at my worst. He's seen me at my best.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:25

So, yeah, yesterday, so you know, to get this thousand workout in a hundred days thing done, math for marine says a minimum of ten workouts a day. Yesterday, I could have I could make any excuse I wanted to. I flew back from New Orleans yesterday, all day long. Shout out. Got got to Hotworks in Surf City, and I'm thinking, oh, I could, you know, start tomorrow. Start tomorrow. I knocked out nine workouts yesterday. Now I'm six down today that I still got to knock out. And the reality is I'm not going to after smoking two cigars. But you're only human. But tomorrow. So you got to make it up tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be catch-up day, which is nothing going on tomorrow, so I'm going to make it happen. I'll get back on that track. Uh, but it's just about showing up.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:09

Yeah, giving yourself a thing to stick to.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:12

Yep. And to the point of it. You also have to give yourself grace. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:15

I mean, I gave myself grace today. I I walked her, but I didn't work out because my body is feels like it's injured.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:22

Segway into getting old and all this other stuff. I used to run marathons and ultra marathons. I've run 250 milers, 40 miler, a bunch of 30 milers. I can't even fathom that. I can't even do that. You know, here I am now. I'm obviously fat kid, but that doesn't mean it's over. Oh, shut up. I'm fucking a goddamn brother. For me, I found another way, and my way is hot works. And by the way, if you're gonna come into Hotworks, you're working on an 130-degree sauna for 15 minutes. You're gonna sweat. You're gonna sweat. You can't do that because of my heart. Yes, thank you, Lee. You can't do that. Go to a doctor first before you start doing something like that. Before you put yourself in that. Before you stress your body like that, you better make sure your heart. But I used to do that before.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:07

See, this is the thing. Before I found out I had this, I used to do all that kind of shit. You know what I mean? So it's like, now that I know I have it, I can't do it because my heart rate increases.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:16

But you do other stuff. You still look great. You're still doing this. Speaking of great, when what when was speaking of great? When are we gonna hear heart slap again? When are you guys gonna do it?

SPEAKER_04 1:22:26

Uh we played oh how many days ago? We played, where did we play? I don't remember. Where we're we're at 30. 34 no. We did Pender County. You did uh Pender County uh the weird ass name place Pender County, Keewanis Park in Pender County. Yeah, that was the last one. That was the last one, and then we have uh uh July 26th, we have Swan Fest on the stage behind me. Nice Pug Pavilion in Swansburg, North Carolina, and it's an hour and a half, so we're gonna put our best material in there. Like it's all our new stuff. We're gonna do the bangers, all our new songs, all the all we're learning also a bunch of new songs, so it's it's gonna be much different than the last time we played here. We played here four or five of the last five years. I can't remember. There was one year we didn't play, I think. I don't know. So rain happens and bands have to cancel, and it what really sucked last year. So who does the sound for for Swan Fest is Chris Daniels and Daniels Sound, and he's great. And his band is Southern Hellcats, and they're awesome, they're phenomenal. They've played this year, thank God, because last year they were set to and he does it for every single band that's through here. And then when it came time for his band to play, they got rained out. Oh man, yeah, it's like damn it, dude. Also they never got to play. They never gotta play. Yeah, and he's always and he's the one doing the sound, and they're great, they're a great band, Southern Hellcats. Check them out, Southern Hellcats.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:46

Southern Hellcats on.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:47

But they finally they played last week here, and I was like, Yeah, it's e I told you guys they were good, man. Because I've been telling everybody about them, but nobody's like, they're like, Yeah, okay, dude. You know, like just listen, listen.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:57

We've never seen them.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:58

No, they're good, they're good, they're great.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:00

So you're talking about like the training and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:02

Sorry, I was in there doing my thing, but not going because I was about to lead in back to that. I'm sorry. Go for it, go for it. We're a tangent. I took this, yeah. It's a tangent show. I was gonna go back into this. Do it okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:13

Go I have a book Do it now. I have a book that I follow, and originally, you know this uh the past few months. I would call it a Bible, yeah. Because it it has the word, but it has the word, right? But for so for the last 20 weeks, well, I guess now 23 weeks, I was doing uh level one. It's level one through ten for this uh half iron man, right? Right, yeah. I was in level one.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:35

It's basically a manual. You went to level four, didn't you? If you follow this, you'll be right. You'll be right.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:44

That's right. Yeah, so but what I've done is for for the first 20 weeks of this year, I followed it and I just kind of hodgepodged it together just to get a foundation for your lifestyle, for your lifestyle, right? And then retirement and all that crap happened, and then this door of training just opened up massively. So now I have all this time in the world, and now I went to level three.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:04

But dude, it makes so many other uh bad things come into play when you retire, and it's like, hey, like now I have people that are like, hey, come drink a beer, come eat fast food, come do this, right? Come do this. But it's it's all about choices. It's all about choices. But it's it's this. That's right. It's fucking mental, bro. It's mental.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:24

Yep, and I'm getting there. And uh go go. The the training is at first I was doing just like it says swim, this you know, you gotta do all these sprints and kicks and blah blah blah. I would just go swim, just the distance, just to get underneath.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:37

I love swimming. I love swimming.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:38

Come with me. Great workout. It just sucks because you can't have a conversation while you're swimming. Well you can. You just gotta look at the floor. Yeah, you can't just gonna be uncomfortable. If you're a Aquaman, you can absolutely. I mean, you can try to talk, but you're probably gonna chose. But it's now that I'm following it to a T, like I'm doing the sprints, whether it be And it works. Yes, it works, but you're the monotony of oh, I'm just swimming, or I'm just running, or I'm just whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:07

Yes, it's like it doesn't feel like it's working.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:11

You look forward to the next day. It's like how much can I push myself? God, I fucking like to this point. I still love it. I'm watching, I tell him, because he's a great swimmer. I tell him, like, dude, my time's coming down, this, this, this. Thanks, buddy. And I'm bouncing every you're welcome. I bounce everything off of him. But to your point, too, going back a little bit ago, the journaling, I throw everything into chat GBT. I take a snippet of my now broken watch. That's my fault, too, by the way. We will. But uh, I take I I tell ChatGBT I wish I could show you, but how much I weigh every morning. I I jump on the scale.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:45

I started weighing myself. I started weighing myself. How much you weigh? 184.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:50

How much you weigh? 174. I'm 170. So 5'10.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:55

5'10. Oh get asked you. Mine's all muscle, though. I'm about 5'08. He and I.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:00

So he and I are 5'10. I used to be 189.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:04

I used to be 152.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:06

Yeah, so like now we're the same fucking weight. Actually, you weigh more than me. Mine's muscle. It's weird. I'm looking at my time here.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:13

Yours is muscle. But continue, though. No, but before he continues, I gotta hit Chris. I gotta hit the road here, but I'm gonna do this real quick and now I'll go.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:20

Oh, no, yo, say what you gotta say.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:22

Go spending time and space here on the uh Hot Ashes podcast. I'm heading out to the uh Chris Ravoski here. Jacksonville Ospreys, uh, once Marine Allies and Marine Night, ooh. Uh we're gonna be out there showing up, a Reverend Warriors, Carrie Carolina Museum of the Marines, a bunch of other places. Uh let me talk about recovery real quick because I'm presenting that plaque to Augment behind us. Uh Augment, they got coal plunge, they got hyperbaric oxygen therapy, they got compression pants, compression pants.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:53

Where can you find augment?

SPEAKER_00 1:27:54

Augment is on Gumbranch Road by Lowe's Foods in Jacksonville, North Carolina. Uh we're Recovery is so important. Get out there. Get rid of that. You know, like I said, Cold Plunge, Hyperbaric, Sauna, PEMF, which is the magnets that help with your brain waves, all kinds of cool stuff there. They have fantastic resources. Come on, folks.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:13

Is there a Facebook page?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:14

They are they got they're out there in the socials and everything. Jesse and Lisa Reed. Jesse was Marine. Lisa was an aeromedical for the Air Force. Gotta make this a clip. Philip Reed and uh uh geez, Anna Reed, um Philip uh Blaise and Anna Blaise are also the owners of that place. Augment is fantastic between Hotworks, Augment, being sober. I think I'm thriving in life, Nurning. You are thriving. And you all, this podcast, you are uh awesome people that are challenging me. I love y'all.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:47

Show the book, show the other book the other book, the other book. The other book. If you haven't got it, no, no, no, it's the other one that the purpose of abundance.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:54

I'll tell you right now, again, Sherry Norris, she's in uh Dallas, Texas. She started a company called Cornbread Hustle, uh, that helps people get out of prison get meaningful work afterwards. So cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:08

It's always something that's that's that's helpful and meaningful. And so that's that's what I love about what you promote. You just said she started a a business for for you know people that just get out of prison. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:21

And she's so smart, she's like, Well, wait a minute, I got a recession proof this thing. Wait a minute. How can I do this? She started another company called Junk Hustlers. They go, they clean out houses, buildings, power washing, all that stuff. Uh, awesome entrepreneur, awesome human being. And uh, you know, again out of Dallas, Texas. I I put it on LinkedIn. I talked about her book The Purpose of Abundance. It's spiritual, but it also talks about her life. Uh, I talked about her book, I talked about uh Lee's book there. I talked about my uh Carla, Carla's book, uh B100. And then my other buddy, who is one of the uh workers at uh Hot Works, Anthony Falco, he's got a series of books on physical fitness and health and mental health and all that. Getting right, getting right. So, four awesome human beings in my life that are raising the standard for me so I can get my damn book out there. Uh get it out there, dude. Right. I love y'all. And again, going into the universe here, right? Everywhere, whatever that movie was, uh you when you hear this podcast, the Jacksonville Ospreys, hopefully you'll won, but we're all winning tonight. They're gonna win. We're all winning in a night because once Marine Allies Marine, I superfy, I'm out of here. Guys, Chris, man, and I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:36

It's always a pleasure to have you on, and you're always talking about Chris is always talking about veterans things and Irreverent Warriors, you know, uh the 22 uh day suicide. Well, I'm I don't know if you explain it, unaliving thing, whatever it is called, but one thing I said, always got these great things that he's that he's promoting. Yes, and I love talking about that stuff because there's not a lot, uh there's not enough. No matter how much you talk about, it's not enough. You know, get it out there so that everybody can hear it over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:03

One thing I've said about Chris is he's always promoting mental health, yes, yes, and I think it used to be a taboo subject. I leaned into it. I we talked about it on the pod right now. I I leaned into my own mental health, and it's like, hey, that is necessary. So for me to expose that to the podcast, it's like imagine how many folks think those same things. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:29

Yeah, how many people you just reached by saying that. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:33

It's very saying that you want to be a better person. It's like, hey, man, people think that the the S word or the the unalive word is like based on you don't want to be here anymore. It's not like that comes from like I don't think I'm good enough.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:49

Yeah, I would agree with that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:51

And then it's not that I don't like myself, it's not a military choice. I just think I'm gonna just delete myself because I think I'm not good enough. And it's like you and we go you're you're good enough.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:01

Well, everybody is, and that's what we need to tell people more often. And we're in a world where we I'm not trying to take it back there. No, but we're in a world where we'd rather tell people where they're fucked up than we would rather say, hey man, you're really killing it. You know what I mean? And so like we want we want to tear people, we want to tear people down. And and that's I go back to those stupid comments, but I mean that's what people do. We're just a society of let me tear that down. How can I figure out these people are trying to create something? They're trying to create something, let me tear that down, right? You know what I mean? That's right. We in the Marine Corps, though, like we would go through these classes for the S-word and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:37

And you're with and you're with real men. Yeah, with men at our show.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:42

But man, there's so much death that we see. There's so much You're in the business of it.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:47

Not just that. No, no, no, not just that. I'm not just talking about like infantry. I know, but I'm not just it's like I'm not even trying to speak RVU.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:56

I'm just saying No, I'm not just saying that. Damn it.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:59

In the military business, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:01

But what I'm saying is like uh the unoffing, you know, of the deleting of themselves. We we go through that so often, like it's like, oh, another one just did that.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:11

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:12

And it's and it's you know, sometimes they're just sad because they're away from their family. Sometimes it's what they saw overseas.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:19

They're removed from it.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:20

Well, or where they saw what what they saw overseas, or they just don't feel like they can connect to people because they don't feel like a normal person. Yeah, whatever. Whatever it is, that's what we try to bring uh uh attention to, and that's what Chris does a great job at.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:36

And I can't speak on that because I'm the civilian.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:38

No, but this is not just that's what my point was that it's not just military, it's a it's an it's an everybody's do it too.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:46

Civilians do it too.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:47

Everybody has yeah, has experienced somebody like my friend, my best friend from high school did, and it was like his mom messaged me on Facebook and told me about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:56

And you're like, why?

SPEAKER_04 1:33:57

Broke me, dude. I was like, what? What? Why? Like tell some, talk to, you know, and like you don't know, you're not in their you're not in their head. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:07

So there's there's always been like us right now, like bro, I've had crazy moments where it's like, yo, am I psycho?

SPEAKER_04 1:34:14

Yeah, I've known people, I've known people who have put the thing in their mouth, you know. I've known people who have done it.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:19

I'm not on that level, but I'm like, yo, am I psycho? Like I'm thinking of like weird shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:24

Like no, the thing is, man, no matter what. Am I psycho type shit? Am I psycho? No, no, and and none of nobody who feels that way is not nobody, because there probably are psycho people. But it's not a means to an end. No, it's a it's a temp, it's a permanent fix to a temporary problem.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:42

And everybody has to suffer because of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:44

Everybody, not you, you're not the one suffering.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:47

Everyone else has to suffer because of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:49

Think of everybody you've ever met that you know, think of everybody that likes you, that's your friend, that's your family, that's your friend.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:55

They don't even have to love you.

SPEAKER_04 1:34:57

Just think of it. Have you watched Yellow State? And what are you gonna do to them?

SPEAKER_01 1:34:59

Oh, yeah. What do they say about that? Do you remember? No, this is how you're gonna be remembered by how you go out doing that versus all the accomplishments that you being a badass and fucking being a fucking really badass.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:16

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:16

Every every one of my list of people, every one of my list of the people who I know who have done that, I have a fucking big list of people who have done that who have deleted themselves. Yes, big giant list that grows all the time, and I fucking hate it.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:31

But you're right though, because it's like every one of those accomplishments gets shadowed by it.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:35

All I think about those people is that act. I don't think about the cool shit they did in the Marine Corps and the stuff I remember when we had fun and this, that, and the other. I just think that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:44

Not like a decorated Marine guy that we had. He was fucking awesome. Everything about him was freaking awesome.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:49

You would never do you'd never know. There was no sign, there was no big hulk of a Marine. And he did. Pit it come. Penny come.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:58

So it happens. It happens, but people've got a it's easier said than done. They've got to realize their value.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:09

Like, dude, because it's like, dude, it's like human emotion, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:13

Yeah, it truly is.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:14

That shit does not happen for no reason. That shit does not happen for no reason. And I'm not like saying like on some weird shit, like people do not do that shit for no reason, bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:27

No, but I think they do it a certain way. They do it feeling like there's no other way out. They do it feeling like there's no other way, and they when there is they've reached the end of their of course there is, but you can't, you're not in their mentality. We're not in their mental state.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:41

Man, this shit's gonna make me cry, bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:43

Don't don't cry, or do if you want to, but um I'm just saying, like, you don't know their mental state.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:49

And for them to get to that point, I don't think that they choose that. I don't think some of them wind up to that point. I think they wind up to that point.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:56

I think some of them get there and then give up. And they give up. No, no, no, hold on. They get close to doing it and they think they're just gonna pret they're just gonna get close and then not actually do it. Right. And then the gun goes off.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:06

And you do it, and then you actually do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:08

I one of my Marines did it because he was trying, he was at the top of a 10-story and trying to jump off. He was he kept he was bumming cigarettes, he was barefoot, he was like, you know, all a stuff. He's like, fuck it, fuck it. And and and the onlookers who were there were like, what are you doing? He's gonna jump. He's like, You want to see you wanna see me jump? I'm gonna jump, whatever. And he's telling these people, and he kept running up and skidding. No, he kept running up and skidding at the end, and then finally he went and no, he went and jumped. He slipped, but then he was like trying to stop at the end and screamed the whole way down and died. Man, you know, that's disgusting, but it's like we'll get you to that point.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:50

Bro, that's an ultimate.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:52

I only hear about it after it happened, so it's not like you know what happened up to that point.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:55

Right. And the training that we received in the Marine Corps is hey, look for these signs, look for these signs. We all receive it on the leading up, on the leading up. Basically, yeah. So as a as far as mental health goes. Right. So as a Marine, we I can't speak for the other branches. I don't know the training that they receive. Of course. So they're like, oh well shit. If I do this, this this, everybody's gonna know, they're gonna see these signs. So there's a way to I have to find a way to circumvent there is no way. This there is no way.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:23

So too scared. 20 minutes, you're too scared.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:26

There is no way. Uh-huh. There's no way.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:29

If if somebody's gonna do it, they're gonna find a way, they're gonna do it. They're gonna find a way. And as we're taught, if you can minimize the ways, then then do so. Remember, just still like no.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:40

Yeah, but that's not that's not the that's not the thing. Right. You don't, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:44

If somebody's made up their mind that they don't want to be not gonna happen, it's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:49

If somebody made up their mind that this is their thing, they're gonna find a way. And that's right. The problem is you need to get them to the point where they can understand that there's other ways to cope with or to or to live through what is going on because that's what they don't want to live through it.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:06

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:06

You know, maybe oh, my spouse died or something. Like, I don't want to live through this anymore. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:10

You you just need to but it's like that's not the end of your life.

SPEAKER_04 1:39:14

You just need to, there's no just this or that.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:17

This is what moving forward will relate to. Then it's almost offensive to tell someone that because it's like, why can you talk to me about that?

SPEAKER_04 1:39:23

Yeah, you don't know about my wife or exactly, exactly. And that that's what I just said. There's no just moving on. There's no there's no moving on. No, it's gonna be really hard for the movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:32

You try to help them and cushion them and to tell them, like, don't do that. Right, but how to live with it. What me and Cody were talking about, it was like, hey, this ultimate decision, right? This crazy ultimate decision happens, right? You do the thing, you jump off, boom. There's 50 people involved. My mom. My dad. Everyone's still living.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:01

Like they know how to do that, they will live this through the rest of their lives, and they will always cry and be sad. They'll always you just damage that many lives.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:20

But it's like, dude, if you if you do if you do that thing, bro, like your family. It's not it's a alright. I'm gonna say something else. I'm gonna say something else on camera. Here I go, I'm about to get flamed. Uh-oh. It's a selfish act to do that. Well, it is. It's a selfish act to do that. The thing is, they're gonna say, well, you don't know what they're going through. It's a selfish act to do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:40:46

Because who else is let your children? Who's who do we know? His children forever.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:53

That means that you don't love your mom, you don't love your dad, if they're still living, God willing. Do you think that they want to freaking bury you? No.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:02

Yeah, there's it is very selfish. It is. It really is. But they're they're not thinking of that. They're not they don't care about that. They're they're they're not gonna be able to do that. That's why it's selfish, but they don't they don't see a way out, you see. But I think they don't think of it like that. They just don't see another way out.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:16

I'm not saying it's a bad act.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:18

I'm just saying, what I'm saying is I agree with you. I agree with you. What I'm saying is But you know what I'm saying. I do, I agree with you. It is selfish, but they don't see a way out. So the thing is they're just terrible, but they're not thinking on a logical level. They're thinking on an I don't see another way out. The only way that I can make things better is if I'm not here. Maybe, maybe, maybe my parents will have a better life, maybe this, that they're not thinking. They won't have a better life. Oh, but they're thinking not clearly, is what I'm saying. So they don't see a way out. And that's what we need to be, we need to be more aware of that. Just to clearly give them somebody to talk to and somebody to put a shoulder on. Be more vigilant.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:55

There's a chemical imbalance on folks that do that. Yeah, they're not totally oh, Cody, gone.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:03

Yeah. I don't think there's uh necessarily a chemical imbalance, but I think it's just family, friends, loved ones. Just be more vigilant. I mean, there's gonna be some signs of insecurity. You don't know this sort of stuff, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:42:17

There's but there's they kind of push it in high school now. They're like it's kind of becoming like nuance.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:22

Everybody needs to be on it that's like, hey, right. Why do you want to keep going on to your room type shit?

SPEAKER_01 1:42:28

Right. But it, you know, like I said, with family, friends, whomever that's in that circle in the the tribe, just keep you know, somebody's gonna have a sign of some sort. Hey, but are we having fun tonight? Oh shit, red flares went up, yeah, and it's like, well, fuck, we gotta talk. You know, and maybe have a conversation, have a conversation, conversation, and then whatever the case.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:48

Okay, that was cool. Like, now I'm not gonna do sad thing. Right, because you talk to you, but you gotta be vigilant.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:53

I think as within your tribe, V Vig.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:56

It takes grown folks to do that, it takes grown-ups to do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:00

Yeah, a lot of the a lot of us men, especially, I would say, and I'm not an expert, so don't attack me, but I'm saying men, we're hard headed, so we don't like to share our feelings. You gotta talk to folks, we don't like to share our feelings, and we as a group of dudes, like, but I think this table's pretty good at saying, hey man, you're all right, what's going on? You look like it, but whatever. But like male alpha, like we can't we can't talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:23

When I texted you, and I was like, yo, I can't do the podcast, bro. Like, I'm not okay. Like, yeah, I'm not okay, bro. And it was like bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:31

So I'm like, fuck you, asshole.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:33

Nah, it wasn't that. And it's like, bro, like Cody kind of doesn't know because I just texted you, but it was like, bro, I've went uh in that same moment, in that same week, I've been around people, and they're like, they have texted me afterwards, and they're like, Hey man, are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah like you're not like your normal self. Yeah, like they hit me up, they hit me up. That's the next thing I asked you is like, How are you doing? You're being weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:56

I think that's the next thing I asked you a few days later was like, How are you doing? They're like, Yo, you're being weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:01

Like, yo, you're are you good? And I was like, yo, I'm good. But I mean, how cool is it to have friends like that that know that you don't know? But I wasn't good, but I was like good. But they know you're not being you, you're not being you right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:14

That's right. You're not being you. That's the people you need to lean on. Those are who you you can talk to. That's the folks.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:19

Call me out on my bullshit if I'm saying I'm fine and I'm not gonna be like.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:22

So like you're not being TK right now. It's not being TK right now.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:25

They're calling you out on your bullshit. That's right. So if you're not being yourself, if you're not acting normal, they're gonna call you out on your bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:31

And that's what we need.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:33

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:34

Not in even in a hateful way. They're just like, you know, is everything okay? Yeah, is everything okay?

SPEAKER_01 1:44:39

Is everything truly inquisitive way? Yep. Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:41

Absolutely. Because you're not acting like how I know you to be.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:44

Yeah. Like when he went through his recent loss, constantly. You're okay? You're okay every day. Everything good? Yeah, stop by, all sorts of stuff. Just how is it?

SPEAKER_02 1:44:56

Truly, like, I don't know if you remember it. That's how we met.

unknown 1:45:00

Who?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:00

You pass into the door. Yeah, you're right, you're right. That's how we met. That's right. You pass into the door, and I'm going in, you're going out. I'm going out. That's how we met. Yep. That's how we that's how me and Cody met. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:13

Damn. Beasley died.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:15

That's right. I mean, there was that day, but like not to say it loud. But it's like he was leaving, he was like, Are you coming in? I was like, Yeah, I'm coming in.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:22

All right, we might even high five, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:25

Good to meet you. That's right. I'll see you again. Like, type deal.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:29

As we did.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:30

And we'll see you again. Yeah, that's right. But yeah, and then it's like I was in shock. Oh, you're gonna be able to do it. I just want to say it on record, man. It's like, man, if you gotta talk to somebody, bro, please do not. It's the skateboarders. Sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:46

It's the skate leads, the skateboarders. Come. Penny. Penny, come.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:53

I didn't know that I needed to talk to somebody. No, I'm not saying that I do need to talk to somebody, but like it's always good, too. The notice of like, hey, I do need to talk to somebody at 35 years old. It's like, hey, maybe I just need to spill this onto someone. Go for it, man. That's not my life. That's not my life partner.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:13

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:14

Like, because it's like you can't spill it on your life partner.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:17

An unbiased opinion. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:19

Right. And that's what's cool about counseling, man. Counseling.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:22

You talk to John Doe. I mean, he could tell you he could tell you a thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:26

It's like journaling, but saying it out loud.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:28

That's it, yeah. That's what I did. So I went to uh counseling before I went, like I was ordered to go to counseling. Uh-oh. And yeah, and I was just spilling this stuff. And John Smith, he's he's hearing everything. He's like, holy shit. And just taking it all in. But it was so relieving just to be able to get it off to get it off.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:48

Did you have a lot of you have a lipstick list?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:52

One. So you just gotta get it off. Right. Not like Damn, I'm about to get hard. But it's like some of us at the time, I didn't want to burden my boss, I didn't want to burden my coworker, I didn't want to burden this person. Right, because it's it's neutral, dude. That's right. Yes. And so I just kind of collaborate or gather all my thoughts together.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:14

And then the person says, Hey, tell me everything. You're like, oh, I've been waiting to say this shit. Here you go, dude. I've been waiting to say it. Yep. I'm gonna tell you. Fuck it. So fucking worth it. Fuck him, fuck her, fuck everybody. I'm saying everything. Yep. And you don't know them for fucking Adam. And they're like, Does it feel better? And you're like, fuck yeah, it feels better. You do. You leave that office and you're like, shit. I got to say everything. Amen. I gotta say everything. It's off my chest. And these people are pieces of shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:42

That's right. It is so fucking valuable, man. Again, reinforced, and it's off your chest.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:49

It's like, I'm done now.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:51

Now that's not weight on me.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:53

That's right. And it's I'm telling you, dude, through all you know some of the stuff I went through through a big portion of that. I would walk around.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:01

Would you say a plethora?

SPEAKER_01 1:48:03

I would say plethora. I would say a fraction.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:08

I would go really far to say that like a part of our stress as humans is weighing it on how other people are gonna feel.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:17

Well, our stress, I hear what you're saying. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_02 1:48:21

I hear what you're saying, but with our stress, I don't want to offend somebody by what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:27

No, but with uh the service members, the higher you are, the more lonely you are, if that makes sense. Sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:34

Your peer group goes like that. That's actually with everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:37

That's why I said in every job lonely how it works. Farther and farther away from the troops. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:43

So having these resources to where you can escape for an hour, hour and a half, whatever, and go dump your guts on somebody. That sounds bad.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:52

But uh but it's like far and few between.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:55

But you need to do that, you so need to do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:58

That's how it works.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:59

That's human life. Yep, it's so good. And I mean, a lot of people they turn to church, Andrew. You know, you can go talk to him, talk to all the people over there. Just find that somebody, find that that that outlet, and just freaking.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:18

Turn their back to it, they turn their back to it and they fucking go blow something up.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:25

They do. And again, I think that that comes back to the circle as far as are we listening, are we watching, are we looking down for it?

SPEAKER_02 1:49:33

You didn't talk to that dude. You didn't talk to him. You didn't ask him if his day was okay. Is he okay? Well here.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:44

No, I'm trying to tell her it's ten minutes, and Penny is like going crazy over these ducks, and now I'm like, There's ten minutes left, and I'm trying to get up and stop her.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:53

I as a leader, a senior leader, no, you can't account for everybody. So I wouldn't take that personally. Sure. I didn't know that's corporal number. Sure not, sure not. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:50:06

So I would do it every one individual by individual. Right. So I'd say that's the same thing. There's no way that I can know. There's no way that I could know. Not at all. There's no way that I could know. Because I I did ask as a blanket statement. Sure. But you didn't speak up to me and tell me something.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:24

So But I am in 30 Marines. It's like, damn.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:29

Well, I had 131. So I would stand out. He had 200 subconscious. Okay, so you know what I'm saying. Exactly. So you stand out in front of them and you're like, I am me. You are you. This is my. Talk to me if you want to. My door. Well, they always say.

SPEAKER_04 1:50:44

No, my door was open. My door was open too. Fucking staff and COs knew it too. Like, don't be a don't ask. But who's doing that? But nobody's coming to me.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:52

But who's doing that?

SPEAKER_04 1:50:53

But nobody's coming to me. They're not coming to the first sergeant.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:57

No. I'm just joking. Not too much. I'm an asshole when I need to be. Because no one wants to be a bit. But the G. No one wants to be Muslim.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:04

Well, hold on, but that's what my point. They're not going to come straight to me. If they're smart, they're going to go to their platoon sergeant. They're going to talk to their platoon sergeant. If they don't agree with that, then they'll come to me. And it's like, I'm always going to agree with the platoon sergeant because he's probably right. I'm always going to listen and see if he's right. Right. He or she. He in this case, because we were in the infantry. But I was like, uh, you know, it's always this. And then I'll explain to the Marine. Listen, it's not, it's not you. It's not, you're not being but the rules. It's not the system. But but you know, the rules state this. So that's why your leave can't, whatever. Like it's this. Okay, so let me ask you a question. I understand why you would think that, but this is the case.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:42

Let me ask you a question now. Off that, based off that. Do you think that is known to be true that people don't want to come ask you that said question because they don't want to look like a bitch? When when people come asking. As a Marine, as a Marine, not Navy, not in Air Force, not everything. I will say this.

SPEAKER_04 1:52:02

I will say this. When somebody comes to ask the first sergeant a question, it's usually about an order. Am I wrong? Well, you know. I mean, you know, because I've told you about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:12

Is the question that I asked wrong?

SPEAKER_04 1:52:13

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But when they come to ask me things, it's beyond. The platoon sergeants will come ask me that kind of stuff to dig, you know, ways. It's beyond. It's beyond series. No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is the platoon sergeants will ask me those questions because it's beyond like what they know in the admin side of you know NJPs or you know, whatever. I know page 11. I know the orders, I know how to look up the orders, I know them all. Well, I don't know them all, but I know how to find them. And so they'll ask me those kind of things because that's kind of like my my wheelhouse. But when it comes to like um the Marines and stuff, like I'm mentally not good. But I want them, so I want to teach them this kind of stuff so that they know how to find it themselves. What did I always say? Somebody comes and asks me something and I don't know the order, I'll say I don't know, let's go learn it together. And I will teach them in that time how I look up an order.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:07

We'll look at it.

SPEAKER_04 1:53:08

But I'll teach them how I look up an order because I pride myself on looking it up and being very quick to find whatever. So that's gonna make them a better marine. I'm like, if I don't know it, and if you don't know it, don't ever say you know it. First of all, even if you do know it, go look it up again. Just admit it. Just no, but look it up again to make sure you're right, because they change all the time.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:27

I think to TK's argument, uh there's a sense of vulnerability. So I would share with my Marines. That's what I'm saying. I would share with my Marines, like, listen, I have been through wave tops, of course, wave top topics. Right. This, this is divorce, domestic violence. I I've been through this shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:45

Life stuff, life stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:47

Right. You know, bankruptcy. I I've experienced it.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:50

I've done life stuff outside of the Marine Corps. Right. Outside, like real life stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:55

And so I think having a if you choose to do so, I don't think everybody needs to do it, but I think that really opens a door for them for the level of approach that you're. Damn, dude, mass aren't or first aren't it's like that's crazy. Yeah, he's still going through a divorce, he's going through custody, he's going through bankruptcy, but he's still leading Marines, though. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:17

And yeah, but they see you as they see you as a human finally because you're going through the same thing. And that should garner respect.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:24

That should garner respect. That's exactly what I'm saying. So if you could show, not in finite detail, the the level of vulnerability, but if you can show them I'm a fucking human, right, that would uh expand that open door policy. It'll allow those Marines pick up like shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:54:40

I said this I want to talk to them. I said this on like an episode or two ago. I said, you know, I never yelled. I tried not to yell because like even when you're you know, even when you're scolding somebody in a couple of things. Screaming ain't gonna help me know. Even when I'm scolding somebody in the Marine Corps, it's like I don't treat them like shit because I treat my Marines like you see how I treat my marines like don't hold the door for me. Come on, buddy, how are we doing? Hey man, hey, where are you heading? They're humans because yeah, but like Bro, we're at this fucking same beatball. Just because I've been in the Marine Corps longer, so I'm a higher rank, because I've been in longer. Because I'm older than you. Because I'm older than you. I joined in 97, you join in 2007. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not gonna treat you like shit because I get my chance now. And it doesn't benefit. No, but the problem is a lot of senior shitty leaders will do that because that was done to them.

SPEAKER_05 1:55:28

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:28

They'll try to get you NJP, which is non-judicial policy. No, no, no, no. I'm saying like they'll try to get you held burn them, burn them, burn them, burn them. You know, even though you know you're you're you're older now, you're more mature.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:42

It's like crazy. I haven't talked about this on the podcast. When there was one time when I was working at the pool, like I worked at the pool, like on uh that combat pool for 10 years. I was walking out uh lunchtime. Lunchtime time, 1200.

SPEAKER_04 1:55:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:59

And I'm walking out, I got uh T-shirt um tank top. I got a tank top, like and I got a swim shorts on, and I got the plus on my shirt, and then and I hear somebody calling me from back back behind me. They're like, hey Marine, because I have my hair just like I had the shaved head just like you have a beard. No, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I had facial hair. Okay, I know where this is going. Go ahead, go ahead. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Hey Marine! I said, I didn't look. Why would I look? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm not a marine. I'm sorry, I don't mean to. No, no, no, I did that, I did that. Why would I look? I'm not a marine. Yeah, but you know that's not gonna be. Hey! And I was like, damn, who the fuck is he on that? And I turn around, and this dude is like knife enemy in my face, and he was like, You can't fucking wear open-toed shoes, blah, blah, blah. And like, I talked to my father after this, uh, mind you, and he was like, it took everything in me not to cuss him. I was like, I'm not a fucking marine.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:03

Yeah. What'd he say? Like he thought you were a marine, that's why he was trying to. He was like, carry on. Carry on. You're like, yeah, carry on, my favorite son. He's like, carry on. Carry my marine. Carry this.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:16

But I kept it so respectable. I was like, dude, sir, I'm sorry. Like, I'm just a lifeguard at the pool, and he was like, Alright, carry on. But I was like, Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:24

He's probably some fat corporal. You know what I mean? Cody, you see fat corporals everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:29

I mean, dude was like in like total dress down, like freaking like camis, like why are you trying to blast me right now?

SPEAKER_04 1:57:36

Was he fat? Was he fat?

SPEAKER_02 1:57:38

He was stout. Ah, yes, the new core. Why are you trying to freaking out? New core, new core, baby. I was like, why are you trying to blast me right now? Like, this is crazy.

SPEAKER_04 1:57:46

Like, you know why? It's he has nobody at work that he's gonna blast because they will fuck him up. That's right. And he wants to feel like a big thing. He wants to feel like a big man. He wants to feel like a big man. He probably just got promoted to corporal. He's probably fat, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:00

I'm in f I'm in flip-flops, like in a t-shirt or a tank top and swim trunks. Like, I just came from the officer's pool to get lunch to go back over there. Right. And this dude's like the inlites. Why are you why are you in open-toed shoes? And I was like, dude, you don't even know who that is.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:19

Because that's what I put on this morning.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:23

It's my job.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:23

Like, bro, it's not a Lance Corporal. You will not speak to me as one. Bye-bye. That's what you need to do. But you know how I operate. I'm respectable. Be respectful, but from now on, I'm your guy. Call me anytime you're in the situation, I'll tell you exactly the words to say.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:39

And then do demoralize them.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:42

100%.

SPEAKER_04 1:58:43

You'd be like, if you have a problem with that, here's my friend's phone number. Well, you give him my number, and I'll be like, hey, how's it going? This is Lee. And then he'll talk to me. This is Lance Corporal So-and-So. Somebody said something about my friend.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:56

That's curious. Well, you can see like the other people in the parking lot while he was trying to dress me down in the parking lot. That's what he did it for. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 1:59:08

His friends are watching him from the fucking booth, dude. They're like, What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? How are you gonna let this cook?

SPEAKER_02 1:59:14

This kid is a goddamn civilian. Yeah.

unknown 1:59:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:18

Little bitches. That's what they're yeah, that's what I'm saying. Dude, he and I we used to. Do you remember the time I put my hand in that kid's uh tree? We were at the his name was Lance Scope Griffin. I'll tell you that right now. Lance Cobra, that's a pretty common name.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:30

The name sounds so familiar. Griffin.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:32

I when I was a squadron gunny at one of our commands, we we were we were at the the chow. We always went to the chow hall, which was good. Yeah, and I see this freaking Chub Scout, man. He's over there just freaking chowing down on lunch. Yeah, just getting it, man. And but I think it was uh Thursday or Friday when they had the ice cream bar. And I was like, there's no way there's gonna and he's like, What are you gonna do? What are you just like poking a fucking bear? Because he was an A-Biri, right? I gotta get him.

SPEAKER_04 1:59:57

I was poking him. You gotta get him.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:59

And I see this dude, he he gets up and he goes over there, ice cream bar, comes back, and just freaking. And he was like, I'm on ice. I was like, here we go. And I go walking up there. And this dude, like, he's part of the BCP. Uh body competition.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:13

He's swimming laps in the pool. He's also not allowed to be eating like this. You cannot eat ice cream. Right. You can't use ice cream. Right.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:20

Yeah, this isn't the army.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:22

Nah, I know. I used to lifeguard the BCP people at the fucking pool. I go over to the city.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:27

I love the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marine Corps. I know all about BCP.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:34

I know all about BCP. I know about it.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:36

Body competition potential. So I go over there and I'm like, hey, dude. And I'm to his left. He's in a booth. And I put my hand right in his tray. And I'm like, you're not about to put my hand in his food. And I'm like, you're not You're done. I can tell the story.

SPEAKER_04 2:00:52

Yeah, yeah. You're retired, bro. You're retired.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:55

So I put my hand in his food and I'm like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? Why are you doing this? Why are you eating? And he's like, Oh, I thought a jelly donut. I take my hand.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:07

Here's the first thing you messed up on. You thought.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:10

I take my hand. I was like, you thought wrong. And it went like all that ice cream right there on his blouse. You scooted it to him? No, I had my hand full of ice cream and it went right on the front of him.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:22

It's on you, dude. Like, fuck you.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:23

Right. Just there you go. You thought wrong, bitch. Get the fuck out. And you remember that? Stop eating. I was like, get out of here now. Oh, gunny. And he freaking he tucked out. Don't do it, gunny. I was a dick. God, I was a freaking squadron gun. We're all dicks when we're squadron guns. That was such a funny thing.

SPEAKER_04 2:01:44

Sorry, I don't know how we got there, but I was a squadron gunny in Hawaii. Were you an asshole? No, I don't think so. I was.

SPEAKER_02 2:01:50

I don't think you need to be a good one. Is it leaves the standard to be an asshole?

SPEAKER_04 2:01:54

No, I don't think so. I think if you can find ways to get through to people without being a joke. I don't mean that I wasn't sarcastic a lot.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:02

I was sarcastic and I was a dick. I was.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:06

I never tried to be a dick. I tried to be fair and I tried to like bring the squadron together.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:11

What's the most rank that you gotta be a dick? Ser. The what? I don't understand the question. What's the most rank that you have to be like an assistant? Sergeant, sergeant.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:22

Knife hand people. Sergeant, because when you're a staff sergeant, you expect your sergeant. I think sergeant.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:30

Or corporal.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:31

Or corporal. Is it not staff sergeant? No, fuck. If you have to do that as a staff sergeant, you're a weak ass bitch.

SPEAKER_02 2:02:37

Okay, that's why I'm saying that. That's why I'm asking. So a sergeant.

SPEAKER_01 2:02:41

Sergeant would be the enforcer, yeah. You're the guy that's fucking like the bulldog.

SPEAKER_04 2:02:47

You're like trying to hold them back and you have to teach them not to do certain things. Right. Like you can't just do that. That's against the rules. And then sergeant, they've learned to be that bulldog, but they still want to be that bull. Yeah, they'll still be that fucking no, they'll still be that bulldog, but you you don't you have less like I have to pull you back because you know the fucking rules by this point. You're a big one.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:05

But you get what I'm asking, though, right?

SPEAKER_04 2:03:07

I do, I do, and I think I answered it right. And sergeant is my own.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:13

Once you get to master guns, what's that? You're just at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:16

Yeah, if you're yelling as a master gun, like if you're yelling as a master gun, then everybody under you failed. If you're yelling as as a as a first sergeant. You're like a bad leader. You're a bad leader. No, no, no first sergeant, mass sergeant, sergeant majors. You know, if you're yelling beyond E8, then you can't do it then. Then your gunnies failed you.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:34

I had one time.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:34

But it wasn't my guy. I did, I did, I did two.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:37

As a master guns. I had to go. But it was like an egregious.

SPEAKER_04 2:03:43

But I'm yelling at a gunny or something. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 2:03:46

I was yelling at a Lions Corporal. Yeah. So this dude, I worked at a mouse, and this dude, on a mouse, you get like these little trucks. They're called Mighty Mites. And there's a speed limit in the van pad. Like the little airways, a little tiny, little tiny truck. I know the truck bag. This dude came hauling ass in the friggin' van pad. I mean, 20 plus. What truck are you doing? I think it's five, right? And I am livid. I see this shit. What are you doing? He comes to a literally a screeching halt, just I'm like, got your number, homie. I'm on the CV. I'm getting work. I'm at CV, so I'm like, okay. I see what door you go in. Gotcha. Oh, you followed him? I'm like, I get changed my uniform. I'm gonna make it official.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:25

Stress you down.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:26

And I'm like, I go over the door, I'm like, hey, who was just driving this? Like, oh, he's right there. Oh, they pointed him out. I was like, you and your staff and CO in my office now. And they came over and I just he wasn't, he was an airframer kid. Imagine were they scared? Were they scared? Dude, this kid, ever since then, like he idled into on the man pad. Like that car was broken. Yeah. Oh my god, I unleashed. My master was like, what the f where'd that come from?

SPEAKER_04 2:04:59

I was like, Sometimes your rage comes out. Sometimes your rage comes out. And I'm like, I'll say it. It's like me, myself, and Irene. We're like.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:08

Exactly. Exactly. It's like the most obscure thing just freaking ticks you off, and you're like, Oh, I got you.

SPEAKER_03 2:05:16

You know what I'm talking about. And you're like, be like that. That's how I feel, dude.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:29

When I see shit. It just makes me go crazy. I'm sorry. All right. We are at our time. Let's do it. He's laughing still at that. Hold on, I felt the wrong way.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:48

But don't put the comments gonna do it. It's not corn, man. It's not but it's not beatboxing. What is it? But that's what it was. That's another one.

SPEAKER_04 2:05:57

He's like, all right, here we go.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:07

I think so. I'm sorry if I ruined the whole episode.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:10

You didn't. Another episode of the Hot Ashes Podcast. TK, let's get some final takeaways.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:19

I'm just glad that Cody was here, man. It was a great time to see him again. I loved him. Freaking, we're just talking about some ring core shit, man. I'm a cuss because it's in an episode. But uh, thanks for having me, man. I got off the boat, came straight to the podcast. Shout out to Luke. Yes, sir. My brother.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:39

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_02 2:06:40

Alright, let's go.

SPEAKER_04 2:06:42

Cody, final takeaways.

SPEAKER_01 2:06:44

Reach out to your homies. The phone's always there. Your mouth is always there. Open it. In the time of need. Pause. And Marina Family Services, whatever base you're on, reach out.

SPEAKER_04 2:07:00

Absolutely. And Chris is not here, so I will say that the Irreverent Warriors is a great, fantastic group for veterans. 22 suicides a day from uh the veterans. So he is always doing things to bring awareness to that. So anytime that he's on, please go and check out these veteran groups. Check out the businesses that uh that you know promote them and that sponsor them, and that helps us out. This is the Hot Ashes Podcast. We love you all. This is Lee. TK, baby. We'll see you next time.