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Famology
Providing practical, insightful, and Biblical answers to your questions about family, marriage, and parenting.
Famology
Ministry Starts at Home: Balancing Family, Marriage & the Call
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Serving God should never come at the expense of your family. In this episode, Jon and Amy Claussen share practical and biblical wisdom for those in full-time ministry, discussing how to prioritize your marriage, lead your family well, and faithfully fulfill God's calling without sacrificing what matters most. Discover how healthy ministry begins with a healthy home.
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Hello everyone and welcome to Famology. We're John and Amy Clausen, and it's been a couple weeks since we've come uh with this podcast to you all, and so we have to apologize for being a couple weeks tardy. And it's gonna be very ironic with the question that's being asked today. However, life happens, and uh and we also are trying to juggle ministry and family and a campaign and all the different things that go along with that, and then we threw a little remodeling project, not little, no, a fairly major remodeling project in as well, just trying to get everything done here during the summer. Um, so this podcast uh got pushed to the side for temporarily for a couple weeks, uh, but we're excited to be back with you. We've actually received a bunch of new questions that we're really excited about as well. Uh, so we'll be running with those for sure. Yes. So um, so interestingly, the question of the week is what suggestions would you give to those in full-time ministry on how to balance family, marriage, and ministry? Uh, so it's a great question for us, honey. It is a great question because we've had to learn that the last couple weeks.
SPEAKER_01Oh my goodness. And balancing, balancing in the middle of chaos is too big of a word. But anybody who's done a remodel project that involves removing flooring, changing kitchen cabinets, and remodeling a bathroom knows that there is some chaos.
SPEAKER_03There is it's temporary chaos, and I think we're actually winning the battle. We're yeah, we're for sure. Turned out great. Yeah, and so we're on we're we're on the tail end of it all, which is great.
SPEAKER_01But the planting flowers and grass. Yes.
SPEAKER_03So we're back with our podcast. Yeah, and so we do apologize because we do want to be consistent, and this is an important uh this is important to us and hopefully important to you as well. So we we will be consistent going forward here, but life got in the way a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so the balancing act, the balancing act.
SPEAKER_03Let's talk about balance uh for sure. Um, and so I, you know, obviously ministry is the heart of this question, and we deal a lot with ministers in our stream of life, um, but it can apply to a lot of different things, it can be applied to your job or yeah, uh to different things that the Lord has called you to, and it doesn't always have to be ministry capital M. Yeah, you know, um, and so you know it's it's finding balance, period, uh, in regards to our families and our marriages and things like that. Um, and so we have to we have to find those certain balances. Now, uh, the first thing that I would want to say is that if I was the enemy, my strategy would be to go after family um and to go after marriages and go after uh relationships with our children and different things that way, because it is such a backbone to our society uh and to our health and to our very our well-being and the things that make us live each day to day. Um, so his strategy would also be to try to take us out, and especially if we are ministering, which all of us are, any call from the Lord is ministry. Um, and so he wants to he wants to undermine that. And so don't be surprised if we're a target, because that would make perfect sense. And so Amy and I have really, in our marriage, in our ministry, has really focused on on marriages, especially with pastors and different things that way, because the enemy likes to take it out. Yeah, likes to undermine those things. So I there's a there's a far side cartoon that has a bear on it that has a bullseye on his back.
SPEAKER_01And the head the son is rumpus, isn't it?
SPEAKER_03Well, it's on his backside, yeah. Yeah, and and his buddy buddy looks at it and says, you know, that's really a bummer of a birthmark.
SPEAKER_01Bummer of a birthmark, Hal.
SPEAKER_03Bummer of a birthmark, Hal. And so that's what happens sometimes when we get into ministry and things is that the Lord, uh and not the Lord, the enemy, tries to target us and tries to target those vital relationships. And so it's really important that we are vigilant about that and and be aware.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I so yeah, this this is a very uh, you know, I mean, uh something really that we've actually talked about a little bit even as we're navigating this extremely busy, which I think busy is kind of it is a four-letter word, yeah, you know, because busy, busy can rob us from best very easily. Yeah. And so we we need to understand that there are busy seasons of life when you're on full tilt run, full court press times. Yeah um, but all of life can't be full court press, hard run, or you wear out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so there is there are ebbs and flows to life. And I think I think because of the holiness that rests on a calling from God, and and when you you know you are called to ministry, yeah, sometimes there can be a mindset at the sacrifice at all cost. And and uh the Lord gave us six days to labor and a seventh to rest. He gave the ebb and flow of life to us. He didn't say just work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. He he said work, work, work, work, work, work, rest. And that was the rhythm. And even, you know, in the the cycles of the years and times, if you study the children of Israel, he had those those seasons of rest built in to years as well. And so we can't ignore that. No, and so as holy as calls from the Lord are, we need to be willing to hear his cadence on those things as well, so that we don't just in our zeal to pursue him actually missed his his ebb and flows to the seasons of our life. And so I think that's important, and uh, and I think that's important. I mean, uh right now in our family, that's an important thing because we are in a season of preparation where we're trying to get things in order in order to do the things that he's called us to, which is ministry in politics. And so, but in that I feel like we have to figure out that ebb and flow where it can't be all work with no rest as well. So, anyways, it's kind of but then you chose to marry me.
SPEAKER_03I know, and that's a problem.
SPEAKER_01You don't rest well.
SPEAKER_03No, I don't, and it's and and I say it's a problem, but it is kind of a problem because I I work off of a list, yeah, and and I I don't rest well, and maybe other people can relate to this. Yeah, I don't rest well until my list is done, and so but the list is never done, but the list never seems to be done, and especially when it gets to be, you know, a a remodel project, such as we've been doing, and then adding on, you know, the min the the campaign and uh the I feel like this could be like a little sozo, like a little ministry type uh really this question. I mean, this question this question is great because the really the key word is balance, yeah. And and and I I think uh what what's important to me, and I think you you started to allude to this a little bit, is that we we tend to categorize things. So we categorize things as family and as ministry, and even this campaign and different things. I'm not sure heaven looks at it that way, yeah. Um, because because we're we're called as a people to do what he's asked us to do. Now, in that is my responsibility to my wife, in that is responsibility to my children. So in that is responsibility to my home and getting things set up. So all those things are important, yeah. And so that you know, and and so we we tend to rank things and we tend to categorize things. Yeah. When the truth of the matter is it's all ministry, yeah. Um, the the problem is that when we neglect one for the sake of the other, yeah. That's when that's when things get to be trouble or hurtful or things like that. And um, so I you know, my my first comment to this question would be you know, if if you are a minister, then it should be a family ministry, no matter what. Even if you're the only pastor and everybody else isn't necessarily have a title, it's still a family decision. And I think that helps because when when kids know that some of the things that you're doing is a call from God, yeah, then I think that helps them sort through the fact that this is important, yeah, important to us and important to them. Um, that we if we fulfill his calling, you know, I think that's that's a big deal. Um, you know, and so I and I also think the opposite is true too, that I don't think the Lord calls us into ministry with the idea that we neglect our family. No, that makes no sense. Yeah, um, he he wouldn't do that. Um, there there are Bible verses, and we've been challenged on this before about that Jesus almost seemed hostile to family, like some of the things that the dead bury of the dead. Yeah, and he says, I have a couple of them here. Whoever loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, whoever loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. He said, Uh, if anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. So he says things like that, and you're like, Okay, well, the word the Hebrew word for hate isn't hate, like we think of the emotional response. Yeah, it's one of preference or allegiance. Right. And so if anybody pref prefers their children over me, yeah, if anyone has an allegiance to these things over me, right? So Jesus isn't calling his follow followers to hate family, right? He he's he's saying that that's good, that there's a shift coming and the loyalty needs to be to me first. Yeah, um, and so it's interesting that he called that he actually attacks family, yeah, attacks he he he seems to use these harder words for family because he sees family as his greatest competitor. Yeah, because the family in the Jewish culture was very important, family in my culture is very important, and so what he's saying is that you can't love those things more than me because then they're an idol, and that's yeah, and he you know he's a jealous guy, that's super cool. Yeah, that's you know, I mean that he cares that much. So yeah, anyway, so he he's he's not calling us to abandon family, that's not what these verses mean. He's not calling us to hate family. In fact, I think he's just calling for a realignment is what he's calling for, and I think that's super powerful, actually. And I think it's actually he's he's actually calling us to understand the importance of family in that, and so I think I think that's a beautiful thing. So I I believe that he's called us to a both and deal with family, and so I think there is that balance. I think including the family into the ministry is important. I think that you know is not not taking ministry to the degree that it it becomes the all and the family gets diminished. I don't think that's as hard either. So I think it's both.
SPEAKER_01And I I think that our attitude towards our season that we're in also matters because um work isn't the enemy. We we're created to work, and work is a blessing from the Lord, yeah. And getting up and doing our portion of work is very good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I and I want our children to see work as a good thing. Um and we steward that attitude in our children by the words of our mouth and the attitude of our countenance and uh whether we do our work with joy or we do it with with grumbling and complaint, and and that really matters. And if we're if we are communicating only the heaviness of ministry to our children, because there are heavy points. I mean, anybody who is in ministry knows that. Um and if we only convey the heaviness and not the joy in which we can we do the heavy things, yeah, you know, if we only do the light work, the easy work with joy, that's not that's the wrong attitude to have in our homes. We have to do the hard work of whatever our calling is with joy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I love that about you because for I mean, 25 years, you got up every day and you went to work or you got left at night, depending on if it was a night shift or morning. You didn't get up every day. You slept every day and you got up at night to go to work. And our kids never heard you grumble and complain until we hit 2020, and then there might have been a little bit of COVID grumbling and complaining. But they didn't they didn't see a dad who went to work with a complaint. And I think that's an important thing, no matter if it's going to to church and or going to speak or you're going to dig ditches and excavate. I mean, whatever it is that's occupying our time, taking us away from the family, those things need to be done with joy. Yeah. And stewarded with joy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I I think that was really good. I I think there's there was a lot there actually that needs to get unpacked, what you just said. But I I believe that when when we when we're when we're able to convey to our children why we're doing something, what the Lord has called us to, I think that actually empowers them to see it better. Yeah. And I think that's that's I think that's an important piece. And I think I think you know, a real practical answer to this question is to try to include them as much as possible in those things. I I want them to come to my parade and I want them to come to some of my political meetings just to see what I'm doing so that they realize that there's some importance to it. Yeah. Um, I want them to come to our our marriage courses and the different things that we do so he they see us ministering and helping people because I think that helps them as well. Um, I also want them to learn the word sacrifice. Yeah. Um, that's it's an important parenting tool, I think. Um it's a hard word, and it's a hard word, especially with little kids, because they can't really fully comprehend that. Yeah. Um, but you know, the Lord never has promised us easy, yeah. Ever. You can't find that in the Bible anywhere. Um, you know, he he promises us actually a yoke. Yeah, he says, My yoke is easy, but it's still a yoke. You're still carrying something, and and we we want him to help us carry it. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. But he never says I'm taking away your yoke. Yeah, he never says that. And so there's some things that he requires from us, yeah, and it rarely is easy, obviously. You know, most people who are in ministry know that. Um, most people who are in any kind of profession know that there are days that aren't easy, and so sometimes that does require sacrifice. But to your point, there can be joy in the sacrifice if we know that we're in the center of his heart. Yeah, and so I think communicating that to our children isn't always easy, but I think it's really, really important. Yeah. Because I want them to know that too, that sometimes this is hard and sometimes we're away. Yeah, um, and sometimes we're trying to balance these things, but at the end of the day, we're sacrificing for his glory if if we're in the center of his will. Sometimes we can just be busy for the sake of being busy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, our family life has to have ebbs and flows to it. And if it's only flow, flow, flow, flow, woo, flow, flow, unrelenting where it's just we're giving, we're pushing, we're doing. There is no I we weren't created for that. Yeah, six days of labor and a day of rest. Yeah, six days of labor and a day of rest. That flow, we do have to figure out what that looks like. What does it look like to enter into the Sabbath's rest as a family after a push season? And and really um our kid our kids knowing that there's hope of that rest in the midst is helpful for them and honestly for us as parents as well. Right. And I this is also I I feel like um there's always time for a game. I'll just say that. Yeah, our kids need us, and so sitting down and taking time, a half an hour to play a board game with your kids in the middle of projects or in the middle of labors, uh, the things that occupy our time. Take time, take time to go jump through the sprinkler, take the the 30 minutes, and I think our adult brains just want to press till we get to the finish line. Well, the finish line's too far away for kids, you know. So it's okay to take a moment, put a pause on the race and and go and play for a little bit. It's important, it's important for us.
SPEAKER_03We've always had the mantra to to work hard and then play hard, and usually in that order, we get our we get our work done and then and then we have time for play. And so usually kids buy into that. Um, you know, as long as the play actually happens. Yeah, exactly. The play has to actually happen. It's true. Yeah, it's true. So there's a balance night. Um, and I I believe this is what I believe that you know the the revival that we're all longing for, and and we've preached on this before, but I think it's I think it's glory and family. I think I think it's gonna be both. Yeah, and I think it's so important that the family feels included in that. And sometimes as ministers, again, we compartmentalize things and we say, Well, this is my ministry. Yeah, I'm I'm gonna run into this, this is my number one priority, and so everybody else just has to be on the sideline. I don't think it has to be that way either. Yeah, I think, I think he intended for us to be inclusive in that, especially in our families, especially in our marriages for sure. Um, that we're you know, that we're owning it for for everyone. So if I get called into something like politics, we're getting called into politics. That's that's the way that we've looked at it, honestly. And and we know that, and that's not just a trite little platitude to make you feel better. No, it's gotta be, it's gotta really be a thing that we're doing together and with the and with the kids. And you guys have all bought into that and have said that, but I wouldn't have done it if you had hesitation about that part of it, right? Where it's like, okay, you're just gonna go do that, and then you know, we hope to see you. Yeah, well, I mean, if that if that's the case, well then I I don't think that's the right calling, right? And we need to reevaluate that. But that wasn't the case for this. Um, and so I think I think we can do both, and I think that's what he's calling us to something a little bit higher.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and so yeah, so I think it can be done. So not not an easy question because we're living it right in the middle of it all. Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_01These are all things that we're and they're all important.
SPEAKER_03Every list, the ministry, the kids, the wife, the all the all the wife. The wife is just on the list. No, no, no. I don't call you the wife.
SPEAKER_01My wife.
SPEAKER_03My wife is beautiful, those are all things that are on the list, and they're all important. They're all important. We don't have to rank them. Um, and we, you know, because I I think it's all inclusive, and I I think that's been his heart all along.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I I also think that there are, you know, with the ebbs and flows, there also are seasons of spotlights where the Lord's asking you to put more time into a certain arena than the others. It can't be that every arena has your full attention all the time. Like if you with Jonathan, he's politics and and he ministry and the house and those responsibilities. And you can't always be giving as much time to our house as you are right now. But there's a spotlight on that that part of our responsibility that gets more of our attention in this season than than it will ever have to again. Right. And so I think it's okay to know that hey, politics is gonna get more of the attention right now because we don't know what we're doing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It has to get more of our attention. And so knowing that and giving permission for there also to be some, you know, things moving to the forefront and other things taking a back seat, um, that has to happen in the responsibility realm.
SPEAKER_03And then, you know, a parent gets ill or has surgery and everything has to change. It's like that screeching sound of the brakes, yeah, and everything stops and things, the priorities change or shift, or our child's going through a crisis, or yeah, there's something that's happening. Um, and so we have to live with an open hand. I think that's such an important answer to this question, too. Yeah, is that you know, if if our children are not responding well to our ministry, well, then ministry needs to be re-evaluated. Yeah, and we need to kind of draw that back in again. Yeah, and you know, or the the God forbid the remodel project gets put aside for a bit. Yeah, and I don't get my list done. Yes, bum, bum, boom.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think the world will still still spin.
SPEAKER_03I'm not sure about that. You guys can weigh in on that, but but I think that means leave your comments below. I think that might be, yeah, I think that might be true.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and so we do. We need to have our ear to the heartbeat of the Father because we want to be in rhythm, in cadence with him. We want our attention and our time to go to the things that are the most important for right now. And and he's brilliant at it. The Holy Spirit is brilliant at that, and we need to take the time to listen and not and not go guns of blairin' without taking time to listen to what his important things are for the day.
SPEAKER_03That's good. That's good. Do you want to pray for us?
SPEAKER_01Yes. So, Lord Jesus, we set down our guns of blairin and and uh in our hands we hold our obedience and we hold the things that we're responsible for and the things that we love. And you have our yes, and you have our best, and you're good at taking care of all of these things.
SPEAKER_03Yes, you are.
SPEAKER_01You navigate life very well, and you want to navigate ours through us. And so, right now, we just ask for the Holy Spirit to come and to fall on each one of us as we listen, that you would bring rhythm and cadence to our days. Yes, that you would spotlight what needs to be spotlighted, that you would give us wisdom to navigate through every season and every challenge. We love you in Jesus' name. Amen.
SPEAKER_00If you would like to submit a question for Johnny and Amy to answer on a future episode, head over to the FAMology page on our website at gofam.org or simply click the link in the caption below. And if you're enjoying the show, be sure to leave a review or a comment wherever you were going to watch. It really helps us out. Thanks for tuning in, and I'll see you next week.