Decolonising Psychology and Integrating Spirituality: Personal story

In this episode of The Practitioner's Heart podcast, host Poh Gan introduces herself, sharing her journey as a psychologist and Buddhist practitioner. She explores the intersection of psychology, Buddhist wisdom, culture, and identity, emphasizing the importance of decolonizing spiritual practices in therapy. Poh discusses her challenges as a first-generation Asian immigrant and neurodivergent therapist, advocating for the authentic integration of spiritual traditions into therapeutic practice to support collective healing and awakening. Through her reflections and personal stories, Poh aims to inspire therapists and healthcare professionals to embrace their unique identities and cultivate inner resources for sustainable practice.

00:00 Introduction to The Practitioner's Heart
02:21 Poh's Personal Journey and Intentions
03:52 Cultural and Professional Background
07:07 Intersectionality and Professional Challenges
11:28 Decolonizing Psychology and Integrating Spirituality
23:17 Bodhisattva Practices and Therapeutic Parallels
28:53 Reflections and Closing Thoughts
35:27 Conclusion and Call to Action

Transcript

Hey, welcome to the practitioner's heart offering practical Buddhist wisdom for a sustainable practice for therapists and healthcare workers. If you are keen to learn more and deepen your practice beyond the theoretical understanding of Buddhism. If you are finding it hard to calm your little active mind after therapy work, I welcome you to join me to dive a little deeper.

Each episode I'll be sharing some common issues that therapists may face when integrating and practicing awareness, compassion within themselves, and also supporting clients. I'll be sprinkling some pearls of wisdom. That I've learned from my master and teachers that will be helpful as internal resources for the helpers in us.

I'll also be interviewing other therapists who are on these spiritual paths together to share their experiences of how they integrate and practice wisdom and compassion in their daily lives. I want to let you know that you're not alone. You are part of a bigger community who aspire for greater soul alignment, growth, purpose, and awakening, that we can strike a balance of juggling our busy modern life as therapists with a clear mind and an open heart.

I hope to inspire more practitioners to explore deeper spiritual meaning and purpose on our path to enlightenment and awakening. I am your host, Poh Gan, a psychologist, a Buddhist practitioner, a parent of two children, a fellow human being with a busy mind, but with a great inspired vision for collective awakening.

Let's begin.

Hi, welcome back to the Practitioner's Heart podcast. I'm your host, Poh and I'm so grateful that you are here with me, I would like to share a little bit more about myself and my journey my intention for this podcast is really a space for us, the therapists, the healthcare professionals, the healers, the helpers, to return to ourselves and to awaken our heart.

And today I'm taking a deep breath because I'm going to be a little bit vulnerable and share a little bit of my journey and the reason why, for my work, so yes, grab a cup of tea or coffee and settle in. This is the journey about how I weave together psychology, Buddhist wisdom, culture, identity, and this ongoing work of decolonization.

If it helps, feel your feet on the ground. Take a long deep breath, a gentle exhale, 

Let's start. This is a reiteration adapted from the blog that I wrote, on the flight back from Sydney. And so it is a little bit of a life story. I have been a psychologist for 17 years now. Like many of you, I was trained under the scientist practitioner model, so I learned to stay very close to the research, use evidence-based approach, to be objective, empirical, neutral. Even though there are, ongoing reflections about how our culture, our identity and impact the way that we work, which I do definitely do those work. At the same time, I know that I am not the mainstream image of what a psychologist is supposed to look like, in Australian context.

I am a first generation immigrant. I'm an Asian, a woman of color, i'm a Buddhist. I am a neurodivergent, an ADHDer. And unlike Malaysians that comes from big cities in Kuala Lumpur with parents who speak fluent English, my upbringing was actually quite different. I grew up in a small town in a big family of nine people, five older brothers and a younger sister. My dad was adopted and reconnected with a huge birth family of about 120 people at the time when he was nine years old before he had to go back to start schooling because his adoptive family was very poor.

At the time in the nineties, I was the second person in my family to attend university, and both my parents did not speak English. I learned English much like how students in Australia learned French, just a few periods a week. When I was little, we lived in a tiny two bedroom terrace house.

And Years later, my brothers told me it was considered a slum area where many low income families lived. When I was in year four, we moved to a bigger, four- bedroom house. My family story is one of survival and hard work, and from the lens of Asian cultural values, that was resilience, determination, and grit.

But it also means that we can't quite stop, not working, we can't rest very well, because it's all about striving. From the lens of trauma, the intergenerational wounds ran deep and shaped by the social class, shame or pressure. My dad felt like, he did not want to be looked down by his birth family.

He was entrepreneurial. Guess where that entrepreneurship that I love come from? Hardworking, always starting small businesses and working on the, rubber estate, cocoa plantation, and durian farms. Actually this story is not unusual in many Asian families. In the context of working as a psychologist, I wanted to share this, 

in order to normalize and de-stigmatize intersectionality we have different identities in ourselves that determines how we show up in the world. There are privileges that we hold and there are disadvantages that we hold and there's a lot of systemic factors that make life difficult, and I don't know about you, but I am very much a systemic therapist.

I look at things in a, broader perspective, and it just aligns better with my values. And so why do I start this? By the way. Um, have you heard or read, the Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller? That was one of the recommended books in my specialist title Supervision that my supervisor recommended to me.

So I think many therapists will recognize some version of that story: growing up early, learning to take care of other people's emotions before our own. I started learning Buddhism in year six at a youth camp and became quite curious about the values of Buddhism and the teachings about being kind to other people.

Throughout high school I stay involved in organising Buddhist society activities, mostly just to have fun with my friends and running camps for younger students. When it is time to decide, what do I study at university and to decide a career pathway, I remember it was about like year 10 or year 11 equivalent of Australia system, I saw this article in a newspaper about the psychology course offered and something inside me, just says that like, you know, yes, this is. This is what I want. This is what I wanted to do, and my parents said no. At that time it was not a very well-known career path. And they're worried that I may not be able to find a job.

They say you'll not be able to make good money. I consider myself quite lucky to be able to work as a psychologist and earn a decent income. And at the time they prefer that I become a teacher, a nurse, or an accountant. But that inner voice was strong that I wanted to, pursue psychology, 

with the support of my older brothers, I began studying psychology in Malaysia for two years and then continued in Australia in 2004. The same year I met my Buddhist Dharma teacher and took refuge, I was especially drawn to teachings about awareness, the nature of the mind and our shared humanity, and that pursuit for happiness, that everyone wants to be happy.

And so throughout my career at the very beginning of my career, I think for a long time, I've tried to fit myself into the mould of these wide majority middle class blonde psychologist. Not because anyone explicitly told me to, but I guess as a survivor of the fittest, you kind of like blend into the culture, to assimilate into the Australian culture, and maybe also because of that profession the theories and the textbook, the culture and somehow you started to behave more like other people and less like yourself. I'm good at code switching and I soften my accent around Australian colleagues. I used academic language to fit in and I tuck away my cultural and spiritual belief to avoid making other people uncomfortable. And so when they talk about masking it's like, oh, yes, I am very good at that.

But here's the truth. I realized what I was actually doing was really participating in that colonization of psychology and this system that values western ways of knowing actually minimizes my belief, minimizes or erases wisdom tradition that have supported many communities for thousands of years.

And that cost of that masking was myself and, the countless burnout that I have had. This is not the time to talk about burnout, but I wanted to talk more about the recent learnings that I have had in social psychology, critical social psychology that I've learned in undergraduate also talk a lot about this.

The contextualism also talk a lot about this, that a lot of the research evidence that we rely on actually don't include people like me. It doesn't really center, minority culture or spiritual experiences, it doesn't really reflect the lived reality of neurodivergent folks or even Asian neurodivergents.

And the ways that many people in our culture, how to naturally heal in the community. As I started to decolonize these type of internalized messages. As I started to peel back those layers, I realized that wow, actually I don't have to hide anymore for who I am. And actually we can, talk about the different systems and my spiritual belief, my religion is probably not unprofessional.

They're not a liability, they are actually a gift. The more I acknowledge and honor the intersections of my identity, the more authentically I can show up with the people I work with. Not despite my differences, but because of them, then I actually do a pretty amazing job. So today I think, we have talked a lot about neurodiversity affirming practices, women and feminism in psychology, how it is dominated by white middle class men in leadership, but we rarely talk about this - decolonization of spirituality in therapeutic practice. Because the uncomfortable truth is western psychology often dismisses spirituality, especially Buddhist frameworks because it cannot be proven through randomized controlled trials. So we strip out that soul and we sanitize the practices. We rebrand ancient wisdom using Western language. We intellectualize what was originally meant to be lived and breathe and embodied. And in that process we kind of lost sight of the essence, the depth of what it means to be human and the human potential.

So going in parallel in the last 20 years outside of my therapy practices, I am a Buddhist practitioner. It is like a parallel universe. They don't really cross because you are not supposed to talk about your personal belief. So I rarely share that with my clients.

I wanted to share that I have witnessed dharma teachers sharing their experiences of awakening and enlightenment. I have sat with enlightened teachers who had no formal education, maybe up to primary school education, and yet the way that he explained the dharma with such clarity is much deeper than many academic scholars.

And I've seen vows of compassion so powerful that they transformed the whole energy and atmosphere of a room or even they have saved lives. I have experienced the healing myself directly and. Yes, so the irony is that modern psychology has spent decades trying to validate practices that Buddhism has taught for many years, for 2,600 years - the mindfulness and acceptance and compassion focused and non-attachment and understanding like, you know, this philosophy that, suffering is part of human condition, and yet the communities that have been practicing these traditions, Asians, indigenous and the global majority of people remain marginalized in these very systems that borrow their wisdom. It is still very much a westernized model trying to fit into and supporting people from cultures other than Western culture, the minority, to understand all of these and to better their mental health.

Even today, over the last 10 or so years, I have to attend like CPDs, run by WEIRD psychologist, white educated, industrialized, rich, and democratic, psychologists to learn mindfulness tools that my Dharma teacher, passed down through the lineage. It is a little bit complicated and ironic, the question that I have in my mind is what are we doing when we take ancient wisdom, remove it from the roots and then package it as a technique or therapy model. And does it come with compromises? Are we actually understanding the full essence of the teachings? In recent years we know that process-based therapy has become very popular, like openness, awareness, engagement.

All of these that I see as the very heart of Buddhist teachings. After the act has been, kind of, over time, done lots of research and trials, realized that these are the three core processes that enable change and that's what they're going to start promoting and, you know, be more and sensitive to these very process.

Right. Researchers like Steve Hayes, the founder of ACT Therapy, have acknowledged that how well all of these frameworks aligned with diverse cultural and spiritual traditions, which I really appreciate these will actually enable Western psychology to be more inclusive. But still, I ask myself, which one came first?

What Are we discovering a code, um, "discovering" that has been known for thousands of years in the tradition? How do we respectfully integrate these wisdom without erasing the roots of the culture? I noticed something over the years that therapists who use acceptance based approaches without embodying them

often struggle because the work then become mechanical. Like it's boiled down to just a script or a protocol or a worksheet. In the therapy room itself, we are able to, tick the boxes that we are doing all of these processes. But outside of the therapy room, without actual practices, consistent practices, we get overwhelmed by our own minds 

Without this spiritual humility, I feel that mindfulness or the modern way of mindfulness has become more like a cultural appropriation, a tool to regulate rather than to awaken. I think the Buddhist practices that I've engaged with in their full spiritual context actually helped me cultivate presence and be a great therapist. It's not to say that I'm like, perfect, perfect, but, has allowed me to be more attuned to the change or the process inside me, in my clients and in between me and my clients. Like the process of, what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy calls as self- as- context or like in the process-based therapy, that state of openness and awareness.

Because there is a spiritual, uh, fuller context, I know there is a path in my heart that knows that there is a direction to my practice and cultivation path and how to achieve awakening and enlightenment. It's not just a therapeutic tool for regulation, but tapping into greater human potential.

So I feel like the therapists learning in western culture may be missing something great here. You know? Um, anyway, I digress from my notes. The other thing that inspired me for this work is,

when Buddha became enlightened under the Bodhi tree, he said this verse, Sadhu, Sadhu Sadhu. It means wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, all beings have Buddha nature or have the potential to become Buddhas and to be enlightened. It is just our attachments, our cravings, our clinging and delusions that obscure our Buddha nature.

And so in Mahayana Buddhism, anyone can become awakened. They all have Buddha nature, and that path of awakening begins with ourselves and we learn to tame our mind, align with our pristine awareness. And then from that steady space, we help others awaken too. Buddha actually spent a significant number of years teaching the Bodhisattva practices. Bodhisattvas are practitioners who vow to awaken themselves fully and vow to remain in this world. This world, the Saha world of suffering to support liberation of all beings. And Bodhisattva it is quite a word, isn't it? Bodhisattvas but I hope to introduce you guys to these words because it actually carries a lot of deep meaning and essence. Bodhisattvas are practitioners who act with compassion, wisdom, patience, and courage.

There are two key aspects of Bodhisattva practitioners, the inner realization and the outer actions. So they show up in a world, in a profoundly compassionate ways to heal, to protect, to teach, to respond to suffering, to act with loving kindness and awareness. By practicing these vows they accumulate wisdom and merits on the path towards full enlightenment just like Sakyamuni Buddha. In Tibetan traditions, the Bodhisattva ideal is sometimes framed through like the archetype of a shambala warrior. They described Shambala warriors as practitioners who bring bravery, compassion, and clarity to the world, especially during times of social and ecological turmoil. Which is where we are at right now, isn't it?

Shambala Warriors, they are like this archetype of inner qualities that we can all cultivate: courage, clarity, discipline, accountability, tenderness, relational integrity, and the willingness to meet the world as it is. And I feel that it is deeply aligned with the psychological processes of values-based actions in ACT and mirrors that groundedness in uncertainty and that compassion- focused courage, and trauma-informed presence.

And in Mahayana Buddhism the purpose of our awakening is not just for personal liberation. Oh, I'm entered into Nirvana. Bye, see ya. But it is actually for the benefits of all sentient beings across the worlds and lifetimes. So not just this world, but the multiverse. Yes, Buddhism believe in multiverse but that is a topic for another time.

Bodhisattva practitioners are inspired to carry out their compassionate vows to awaken themselves and others. And let us stop for a little bit and think about in modern times, how is this relate to being a therapist? I don't know about you, but I see a parallel when I think about bodhsattva and Shambala Warriors archetype, I think of the many qualities that we as therapists and healthcare professionals can embody,. This is that balanced identity of quiet strength plus tenderness, agency

and interdependence, spiritual practice and social engagement. We can't help others if we're troubled ourselves or suffering. And many of us entered psychology because we experienced pain and we wanted to understand it to free ourselves so that we can free other people, we can help other people free themselves.

In fact, one of the noble names of the Buddha is the great healer, the great physician. So before psychology was established, Buddha's teachings were medicine for the mind long before psychology existed. These systems of understanding awareness and mind consciousness existed 2,600 years ago. Western psychology is barely 150 years old.

I'm not saying this to put down Western psychology and you know. Um, kind of put, Buddhism in a pedestal, but I can see how Western psychology and Buddhist wisdom can walk together if we are able to be more open and approach both sides with humility. I have been doing some research and readings about, Buddhist psychology or the different schools of Buddhism available in the Western world now. There are not many people that talk about the bodhisattva spirits, actions and practices, and so this is part of what inspired me to start The Blossoming Therapists Community and this Practitioner's Heart podcast. It's to share all of these practices that I've learned from my teachers so that therapists and healthcare practitioners can find a way home to themselves to see the true nature, hopefully, and cultivate the inner resources to walk this path of supporting other people sustainably and in the process of doing so, awakening themselves fully. So I guess I kind of like woffle a little bit, talking about the different aspects of my reflections. some of the questions that, I've been reflecting for myself I guess I wanted to share this with you guys as therapists, and it's that, are we perpetrating that system that no longer work for many communities?

Are we dismissing ancient wisdom because it cannot be easily operationalized. Are we enforcing individualism by privileging, one-on-one therapy over collective healing? Are we unintentionally medicalizing the complexity of the mind in the western psychology framework?

So these are just questions to, invite we all to look deeper, to soften, to expand, expand our understanding, expand our practices, because I think as AI and the modern technology started to shift, the next wave of industrial evolution and people talk about spiritual crisis, right? There's more disconnection among people. I feel like there is a need for this discussion about spirituality and more openness to talk about what it means to be human beings and human healing. if we can be more flexible and more open to understand the spiritual traditions that shaped human healing long before Western psychology existed. Maybe we can see, changes that are more, suitable for human beings now.

I think maybe there is scope for collectiveeffort, collective healing. So let's drive the discussion back home. Even now as I'm sharing about Buddhism culture, decolonization, a voice inside me will always niggle in the background. Like, Ooh, is this evidence-based? Is this professional? Are you self-disclose too much? who do you think you are to talk about all this?

So I take a deep breath

and I make space for all of these voices, and I let them soften and hold my heart softly, gently. And I return to my vows as a bodhisattva practitioners,Feel the fear, feel the doubt, but do it anyway for the benefits of all beings, for the benefits of collective awakening. So this is my story or maybe a small part of it, I think it is a good, introduction about myself in this podcast and also a little bit of a story, like a origin story of what brought me here in this journey of sharing, Buddhism in this platform with you. Please know that this is not about converting people. it is just to open the conversation, and open the conversations for, decolonization, recognizing how our beliefs and some of these ideas are impacting on us 

Maybe similar to my journey, are they things that you have been shunned away or hiding, putting things, aside in order to remain professional? Maybe you can kind of like check in with yourself. What sort of ancestral wisdom live in your lineage and what tradition has shaped your people's healing long before psychology existed?

What part of yourself have been hidden to fit the professional, self and What become possible if you allow more of your authentic self into the room. So thank you very much for listening to my soapbox with such tenderness. Until next time, may you keep your heart open. May you keep your mind clear and steady and go be your amazing self as you awaken yourself and others.

See you in the next episode.

As we close our practice for today, I want to thank you for sharing this time. If this episode resonated with you, the most meaningful way to support the podcast is to share it, share it with a colleague, or live a review on Apple Podcast or Spotify. It helps our community to reach other people who need it.

Until next time. Keep your heart open, keep your mind clear and steady. Go be your amazing self as you awaken yourself and others.

See you next time.

Just a gentle reminder that our conversation today is for inspiration and education only. It's not a substitute for therapy or clinical supervision and our time together doesn't constitute a therapeutic relationship.