Bimbo and Butch Podcast

Bimbo & Butch Podcast | Ep 029 | What's In The Bag?!

• Emer Maguire • Season 1 • Episode 29

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0:00 | 43:32

Welcome to Bimbo and Butch Podcast! 


Join comedian Emer Maguire, and business owner Jenna McCusker, as they embark on this hilarious podcast of two total opposites with a whole lot of laughs. 

This week Emer & Jenna play a game of what’s in the bag, as well as discussing more of Emer’s medical ailments, and so much more!


New Episode Every Monday.


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Jenna McCusker 

www.instagram.com/mentalhealth_and_me

www.tiktok.com/mentalhealth_and_me_

www.instagram.com/houseofscentsni


Emer Maguire 

www.instagram.com/emermaguireofficial

SPEAKER_01

I don't usually smoke, but here, do you have a light? It must be girls night.

SPEAKER_02

Hi everyone, welcome back to the Bumble and Butch podcast, which is partly being sponsored by On the Podium Prizes. I am Jenna, aka Bumble.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm Emir, aka Butch. How's it going?

SPEAKER_02

How are we? How are you? I'm good. I am so good and I'm so excited. Because I sing a challenge on the internet. No the internet. Um I'm old.

SPEAKER_01

On the aisle, on the aisle, WW World Wide Web. On the AOL. On the internet. Remember MSM Messenger? I used to love that. I put quotes. What challenge did you see? Your challenge? What did you say?

SPEAKER_02

So the challenge was people bringing in it was it was actually teenage boys, so I thank the people. People bringing in teenage boys? I fuck them wish. Why? Teenage boys! Well, if they're if they're over 18, we can't.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, that's okay then.

SPEAKER_02

Leave it, leave it. So anyway, I'm not on the teenage boys. That's why I have to explain everything. So I don't get cancelled. So try to say the right side of the law. So the thing the challenge that I seen was a group of teenage boys. So I think we're very teenage boy-esque personality.

SPEAKER_01

Well, your personality and my looks, yep.

SPEAKER_02

So I thought this challenge is perfect. So they come on to school every day with fat uh with um one item each. Yes. Random item, and they bring it out of the scroll bag and they all have water in their mouth, and they have to try not to laugh. So I said to you, could we please do this? I think it would be amazing.

SPEAKER_01

She says to me, go on stick five things in your bag and bring it in. I was like, right, what what? Okay. So just grab six random, five random things from the house.

SPEAKER_02

Five random things from the house, right? So I grab five random things. So what we're gonna do is you'll take out one and explain it. Okay. What it is. Obviously, even if we know what it is, you'll have to explain it, so that we'll try not to laugh. Yeah. And then what I will do is this the same while you take a sip. So that you try not to laugh.

SPEAKER_01

But I think we're both supposed to have a drink at the same time, are we not? Oh, I but this is a podcast, so we have to explain it. Yeah, so we have to explain. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Because people listening don't know what I'm producing from my sack.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, okay, perfect. So I have my Oh gee, look at what she's brought. A bun bag.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, I can't even lift this. It's that heavy. Can you see this, Julie?

SPEAKER_03

I cannot, no.

SPEAKER_01

Well, she can't lift it. I get Julie to come out and help me on with it. I just brought me I brought me usually. I just brought my backpack. There, can you see it?

unknown

What was that?

SPEAKER_00

Did you was that you the pun bag? Something that's your battery. What if my items wanna hear?

SPEAKER_02

I know what that is as well.

SPEAKER_01

Like somebody. Right, who won't be crying together? My god. I am tired. Right. I didn't even pack following. I just r loved it. There's five things I can change. Or I can change.

SPEAKER_02

You have to explain them as well.

SPEAKER_01

Right, okay, okay. So do I go first? Did I take a drink? You need to take a sweat. And I I need I do I cannot stand getting things on my clothing. So I have taken this from the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02

So I am open. Jesus, I don't know where I got that big. No, I had a wrap. Smells. And I still am I still unshot everything. I had I'm gonna start strong. I had to wrap this because it's glass, obviously. And it is a glass jar. But not any glass jar. It's my four jar. And if you can see, it was originally 50 pounds, but I added an extra zero.

SPEAKER_01

I had a swallow because it was burning my it was burning my tongue because it's several. Oh my god. Did you make that? This is this is that the original?

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god. So it was 50 pounds, but I added another zero since if my all of my new ventures are. Oh my god. It's worth 500 pounds. So set it on the table first.

SPEAKER_01

That's your first item. Right. I'm scared. Take a big massive drink.

SPEAKER_02

I'm scared.

SPEAKER_01

No, the burning's good. Right.

SPEAKER_02

Right, tell me when.

SPEAKER_01

Take a big massive sip. So the first items that I've brought. Can you hear me, Julie? Mm-hmm. Is a a double header. No, you have to fill your cheeks. Fill your cheeks. Fill them. Fill your cheeks. As much as you can. Right. It is uh true to life, realistic replicas of Albi and Dougal.

SPEAKER_00

And I got these.

SPEAKER_01

When I went for surgery in the summer. When I got went for surgery in the summer, I was very concerned that they couldn't come with me. So I got these maids. You got them maid! And I brought them and I brought them to the hospital and they slept in the bed with me. And I hugged them. This is shame.

SPEAKER_02

A doubleheader. A double header, so I honestly didn't know what was happening, Julie. I'm doogle. I love them. They're so cute. Right. Are you ready for my second? Yeah. Ticket old gulp there. Full of cheeks, as you would say. Full of cheeks. Hold on, may I see what I've actually brought so I can.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not Joe's smell of this toil. I thought you watched it.

SPEAKER_02

Julie, many times a week? Do you month? Do you watch that? Do we do we need water or is it the smell of the the water?

SPEAKER_01

It's too spicy.

SPEAKER_00

It's so spicy.

SPEAKER_01

It's a miracle, Janice actually got up.

SPEAKER_00

Watch the cameras!

SPEAKER_01

Aye, it's too spicy, but with water we've able to fill her cheeks till her heart's content. I'd love to know why she brought a bun bag. She says to me this morning, can you bring five random items from your house? Oh aye, there we go.

SPEAKER_02

Because I I had it swallowed. It's too spicy. I had it swallowed.

SPEAKER_01

Are you ready?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, hold on.

SPEAKER_01

What the hell? Don't be lucky. Aren't these dead cute?

SPEAKER_02

They are so cute.

SPEAKER_03

They're very cute.

SPEAKER_01

They really bring me joy when my boys aren't available.

SPEAKER_03

They bring me joy.

SPEAKER_02

So does my fur in the jar. Oh, right, sorry, it's your jar. Item number two is quite simply a bowling pen. Have you ever held a bit bone pan in your life?

SPEAKER_00

Joey, have you ever held a bone pan? I have not, no. See what the top of that came out there. I don't know what it was. I don't know what was happening! He thought this is my day later. No what it was! Oh don't we got wet things? But straight away. Whenever you see it's quite simple.

SPEAKER_02

Hold on, Emma, because you're gonna make me laugh. And I need to keep the the mic away as well. Hold on, wait.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, my items breaking apart.

SPEAKER_02

Are we gonna talk about why you have a bowling pen? Oh why were you it was actually it's actually been in my son's bedroom for years. His granddad gave it to him, but he was working at a uh in a bone alley, pinting it.

SPEAKER_01

So it's so he stole it?

SPEAKER_02

And no, I think it they were like giving him away and I my son thought it would be really cool in his room and but I just thought it was the most random thing ever.

SPEAKER_00

You really no take a big big gulp, full your cheeks This is my sheep. This is what I wear every night, T-Bad.

SPEAKER_02

Why did your hair did your hair shrink at night or what?

SPEAKER_01

That's what I wear every single night, do you have? Uh um before after takes. Jerry?

SPEAKER_02

Go and turn it on. Like, does that pump ox uh is that oxygen?

SPEAKER_01

Do you get a wee high continuous airway pressure?

SPEAKER_02

You look you you look like that thang venom.

SPEAKER_01

I look like being at a bubble.

SPEAKER_03

Hi it's definitely gonna be the thumbnail for this episode.

SPEAKER_01

I love it! I love it! Does it give you e-balls? Do we hire anything? No, I w I wish. But I find it very therapeutic, sends me straight to sleep because I can breathe, it's nice. So that's my CPAP. Right, okay. Fill your guts. Mm-hmm. What have you got? Fill your my cheeks. Fill your cheeks and I'll show you. I got miss counting. I think I brought too many.

SPEAKER_02

Well keep eye open. We are on the topic of medical accoutrements. I brought my anal radiation machine. So this is travel size and it's a noise.

SPEAKER_00

It makes that noise up my ass every morning. I ask to swim.

SPEAKER_02

The head you need to tap the head under warm water for five seconds to activate the lubrication.

SPEAKER_00

So it's uh it's so it's like easy.

SPEAKER_02

Are you serious? It's like a douche? I don't know. I get a severe cleaning every day. This puppy's filled with water. And they were cold. Look warm sometimes. I wish lukewarm was gone up my ass.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, no, get in the way. It's like when you open your granny's kit. I'm doing again. Tell him be so on there.

SPEAKER_02

I'm gonna go into the door. He's gonna think my fork's on the game. So this is my travel one. Oh, do you have a bigger one? Yes. Jeez! This is my travel. I'm so glad you brought a medical device. We should be sponsored with that. Shout out back to four. For that. That was item number three. Right. So that bit goes up your bottom. Yeah. This goes into the lower part of the bottom. Oh well, it's reusable. This part comes off. Oh, so is that just a one and dot? This is disposed Well, you're hardly gonna shove it up your ass every single day. Well that's what I was thinking. Ah, they're just supposed to play in about with? No, no, no. You have to be very, very careful. High risk of UTIs and foil infections and all that.

SPEAKER_01

Sure. And what does it do? That does it actually do. So the water we should give a disclaimer. Jenna has a paralyzed bile.

SPEAKER_02

I have a paralysed bowel. So it do what it does for me is what the water shoots up inside, like a washing machine and brings everything out. It forces things out. Oh my god. And my body can't push out itself. Holy shamoley. So that's fun.

SPEAKER_03

What else? And is that is that there where does it come out? Does it come out into that wee tiny thing? The wee tiny bag? No, when I pull this out of my no, but the stuff that comes out of your body? I have to go into the that wee pouch?

SPEAKER_02

No, I'd be sitting on the toilet. When you take this out, it just comes out. My god. What? Highly recommended them.

SPEAKER_01

You should run a catheter to my house.

SPEAKER_02

I have a catheter anymore. Does it take a lot of time to do that? Aye. You used to do that every day? Every morning. That's why I be lit sometimes. I be sitting like this. And you spell her out of the monsters.

SPEAKER_03

I thought it was an accordion whenever you an accordion!

SPEAKER_02

You really? I did it again. Maybe an accordion and it fucked me.

SPEAKER_01

Really?

SPEAKER_00

Hello.

SPEAKER_01

Hello, who is who's there? This is I have to explain it. This is a commemorative telephone to celebrate the 150th year anniversary of Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone. He had it the other way about when you brought it up. He put a bank of I don't know how to do it. Hello. I'm not as old as you guys. Hello. Isn't that beautiful? That actually has so beautiful. Does it work? I look you can put it on your phone line, but I don't have a phone name. Does it have buttons on it? Ah, it has buttons and all. And um Can we ring someone off it, Mike? Did you have a landline here, Julie?

unknown

I don't I can tell you.

SPEAKER_02

Is that I wouldn't even know any numbers.

SPEAKER_01

Isn't that gorgeous?

SPEAKER_02

Any phone calls to me from Noani where I won't do that.

SPEAKER_01

I might try it because I've never used it. It's I actually got this. Um the girlfriend got me this for my birthday. That's class. Isn't it beautiful? But I saw you, yeah, I like it. It's all it goes it's on the writing bureau in my hallway. Oh, the writing entrance which I also have an original um light box from from BBC TV back in the day that liked it. Did you stroll? No, I I I purchased it. So I love it. Put that here in front of the same bag. This this looks like a jumble thing. Oh no, this is great. Right, Julie putting these in her bag. I have I have three items left. No, drank up. Okay. I can't believe the sound that thing made.

SPEAKER_02

See when I handed Julie the bag outside as well, it made that noise, but she didn't catch on. All she said was, What the fuck is I'm here? And I was like, don't look, don't look. Don't be looking for it.

SPEAKER_01

Right. There's water to my cold my teeth.

SPEAKER_02

I know it's freezing. So when I was going to work, work this morning, Dan and thinks what the hell is my mommy's job after seeing me walk out the door this morning. He said, What are you doing with that? It is simply a large shark toy.

SPEAKER_00

I love sharks. Where did you get them? I love it.

SPEAKER_02

I love it. Is that Dann's? Not anymore. Can you tell us your Dann's room this morning for all this stuff? This is class. He took That's very realistic. He takes that on every holiday we go to.

SPEAKER_01

And most people take a boy out of room in your luggage.

SPEAKER_02

But most people shit themselves when they see it on the pool.

SPEAKER_01

Do they really?

SPEAKER_02

Aye.

SPEAKER_01

I would be thinking Add is adorable. That's re that's very lifelike. Isn't it? It's his favourite. Why are you smelling it? I just like to smell things, that's why I identify things.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it's a shark. What does shark smell like? Smells a bit rubbery. I like that. That's probably rubbing up against my anal irrigation machine.

SPEAKER_01

Put that there for the rest of the pond. Oh my god, I I only have I have a couple left. It looks like the shark's about to eat. Looks like the shark's already eating us out. After she broke it last week. Right. Last week. Do you have anything left?

SPEAKER_00

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Right, close your eyes for this one. And don't open them till I say. Hold on, are you gonna touch me with something? No, I'm not gonna touch you because I'm not concerning. Right, go. Big big gop. Keep it in the cheeks. Don't open till I tell you.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Yeah, open. So I what?

SPEAKER_01

Where did you get that? Why do you have that? I'm going to a ham party this weekend, right? And the theme is under the sea. Like, fuck, I'm not going in that ham party. But everybody, it's all I'm the only Gerboy going. Everybody else for mermaids in them. Everybody's dressed up as sexy mermaids with shells in their hair. Shells for brass. And a wee butter net.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm dressed up as a lobster.

SPEAKER_01

What else are you going to wear with it? I'm going to wear. The eyes are in close. Yeah, I'm just the Protestant lobster. So I'm going to wear. So for anybody who can't see, um I have got um lobster eyes and thing. And I also have two red claws. Um so with it, I'm gonna wear black t-shirts, black swimming shorts, because we're going somewhere with a pool. Um and I also got some sheen. I got a white shirt with lobsters, red lobsters all over it. Oh, I think I'm gonna look so cute.

SPEAKER_02

I think that you're gonna be the star of the show. I hope so. I love it. It's so adorable. I love it. I got this in Sheen for Burger. Do you know what? I think you and my son damaged chair room. Like we should. I would love that shirt. And he would love that.

SPEAKER_01

It's class, isn't it? Aye. Julie, what do you think of it? Beautiful. Appropriate for a hen party? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02

Anything goes at a hen. Right, what's your next one? This is my last. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So full full I will need two more. Full your fillet.

SPEAKER_02

And then you have two more. I follow up. I was kind of running out of time this morning. And so I just had to grab close your eyes. Joy pull yours as well. He's gonna open them. It's my air fryer.

SPEAKER_01

Is there anything in it, actually? Oh no. I knew! I knew you were gonna- I thought you were gonna bring your microwave or something. I haven't even bet in the air fryer. My air fryer's twice the size of that. No! I'm struggling all our one. Single mouth work too. Mine has two drawers in it. But I don't even hear to use this. I can use it. I only if I ever could put two. I would only ever use the air fryer.

SPEAKER_02

But what kind of things do you put in it?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you can put everything in it. Anybody watching, let us know your air fryer recipes. You can make well I make my vegan sausages in it.

SPEAKER_02

Um you could do in an air fryer.

SPEAKER_01

You can do chicken, you can do um all your vegetables, you can do you can heat up uh Veg flatbread veg in an air fryer with no water. Don't need water. Why? I only ever make it in the air fryer, so I'll I mean I'm saying me, I mean my girlfriend. Well uh watch, she could. She'll put um like she'll put broccoli and vegin all in a bowl and put seasoning on everything and just throw it in the air fryer. And I'll only eat it like that because I like it really crispy. Ah, me too. Do you know what you can make, yeah, you can make um chicken pitas fully in the air fryer? Do you put your chicken in with the seasoning? Close the drawer and then after a wee while open it and and put your your red peppers and your onions in. You can make everything.

SPEAKER_02

But d do you need a liner then, I suppose? Like a panty liner?

SPEAKER_01

Um do, but but inside it there's like a wee grill tray. Oh but you can make everything. Your stuff would fall through the holes. No, it doesn't, because um it's just the same as putting stuff on a grill. You can put a linen thing on it. Like Sam puts cookies now on it. Cookies? Yeah. You can put honestly, you can put everything in it.

SPEAKER_02

The only thing on that that goes on there is Janin's nuggets.

SPEAKER_01

Oh no, I mean it is great for nuggets, but you can put everything in it.

SPEAKER_02

I know that. I'm gonna go home and look up air fryer recipes tonight.

SPEAKER_01

Asparagus, broccoli, all your veget peppers, potatoes are especially good on it. We potato cubes. All your all your meats. Becon pork.

SPEAKER_02

Well that's why mine is only that size, because it only does six nuggets at a time.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, honestly. Everything. Burgers, everything. Right. I can't believe you didn't know this. Halloumi, whatever. Halloumi, everything. What's that? What's what? Hal Houdini What did you say? Halloumi. Oh, halloumi. What's that? A type of ch a cheese. Right. Have you not Julie, do you know what Halloumi is? Halloumi, it's like a type of cheese.

SPEAKER_02

But why would you put it in your air fryer? To cook it.

SPEAKER_03

It's like a it's it's like a chicken substitute for like vegetarian.

SPEAKER_01

It's like a che it's a cheese that you it's a cheese that you cook.

SPEAKER_03

It's quite cheap.

SPEAKER_01

Hal Halloumi.

SPEAKER_03

Cardin cheese rubbery.

SPEAKER_01

It's not like cheddar cheese, it's like a cheese that you cook like paneer. So you eat it and chew it, it's not melted? No, no, it doesn't melt. Oh, okay. It cooks. So like if you go to like I went somewhere yesterday in the veggie menu, there was a halloumi burger. Right. So it's it we'll have to take you to get halloumi. Right. We need to try halloomie. I make it on the barbecue in summer. I make um chili halloumi. I put chili jam on it and and do it on the barbecue. We could do a barbecue for Patreon. Does it taste like cheese? No, it the only thing is Halloumi's quite salty and I don't like that, so if I ever make it, I put it in water for a while first to get the salt out of it. Can you not put unsalt it? No, it's just a salty it's it is it comes salty. But um what did you ask me? You you asked me to come to your house for a barbecue. I asked you to come for a barbecue. But you asked me something before that, but I can't remember. But anyway, um Does it taste like cheese? Oh, does it taste like cheese? No. I mean it tastes like halloumi, which is a cheese, but it doesn't taste like cheddar cheese or anything like that.

SPEAKER_02

I'm really intrigued. I need to.

SPEAKER_01

You love it. Oh my god, guys, in the summer you just want to come to mine for barbecue. Yeah. And we can we can do wee money patron while we're there, but we'll just have a nice. Julie, not now during the summer. She's taking her headphones and all, she's getting ready to go. Where are you going? I thought she was going to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_02

I know I thought I thought she was away shopping again. I know. So um Oh that'll be lovely.

SPEAKER_01

That'll be lovely. We could do that. We definitely could. So I have a big, big barbecue. So last summer, because whenever I I moved into my own house and you know, worked hard to get it up to scratch and all. So we did a lot of stuff. Me and my brother built a big massive deck um and have a paraglay and all on it now, and I got a big barbecue, and me and my other brother put that together, and I built all the furniture at the back of my table and my my bench as well. Yeah, so um and I love the summer and I love being outside. So I can it's so messy at the minute. I can't because it's been so rainy and even the storm last night. My gate blew off the hinges. But I yeah. But I cannot wait to get it all cleaned and I love power washing. Do you? Oh, what a brilliant lesbian pastime. I love power washing.

SPEAKER_02

I I was just looking, I need my um Dakin power washed. Oh, I'd love to do it.

SPEAKER_01

Go and do it. It brings it it brings me such peace and joy. It would be very like ASMR, but I think it's very therapeutic. Well, no, it's not ASMR for me because I have to put headphones on because I can't stand the noise of it. But like just to watch. So relaxing. I I really love it. So I don't know how we get on to that. Get your next item. Get my next item. I've only two left. So the first one's just an everyday item that I would use. Right. Do you know what this is? This is a telescopic back scratcher. So I absolutely adore this. Anyone who can't see, it starts out only the size of a fork, but you fold it out and it becomes the length. I would say that's a good 50 centimetres. Do you know? Maybe 60. It's got a bear claw on the end. Don't need that.

SPEAKER_02

I can scratch my whole entire back.

SPEAKER_01

You scratch your whole? Oh, your whole entire back? I am very flexible, so when I can scratch kind of everywhere and anywhere. But I got this when I had surgery, and I wasn't able to use my arms. So I I got this. And after surgery, you'd be very itchy with all your bandages and everything. And that was a lifesaver. What did its middle finger go? I so right. It has four fingers on the bear. But at one point I did scratch a little bit too hard and the middle finger broke off. And I've never retrieved it, so I don't know which part of my body it's lodged in. So the bo you'll be going for a CT in a bear trap. So yeah, I uh I just think it's so lovely. It's nice, isn't it? Get all your skin cells on. It's lovely, isn't it? I have used it in my head before too. And I use it so I use it to scratch dougal. Just det. It fucking doesn't matter what if hair is all. It's his dog. He's so oh my god, he's so clean. She gets shampooed on the regular and conditioner. So I I would use this for dougal. He loves it. That's good. Isn't it great? That it's so good. That's a good item. So I brought that because I thought it's good to give people a wee recommendation. Um now that I've started, see it's hard to stop. Oh, I feel like Baloo the bear.

SPEAKER_02

And I had to be with my anal arrogation.

SPEAKER_01

See your scar on your back. Does it be atch you? Or can you not feel it? No, no feeling. So see my scars all around my back of my chest, and especially a couple of episodes ago, we talked about anyway. Um uh doctor thought I had uh skin cancer in my back, so they took a massive chunk of my back away. See that it I it has healed as a very bad scar, just about horrible circle. See the itching that is so itchy. I'm constantly saying this. Oh my god, itch my scar. Itch my scar. It's so itchy. Do you think it's because it had to go through some muscle or something as well? I don't know. I don't know what it is. It's just extremely itchy. So I use this to give it a good scratch every night. So anybody else has any itchy scars like me? Itchy scar? Get one of these. Scars are very itchy if you have bad scars. They are very, very itchy. I whenever I remember whenever I was healing, but that was Well, people say it happens when you're healing, you went to take the Benadryl and all, but mine's have never stopped itching. Like so seriously.

SPEAKER_02

I I was So is that your um health concern of the week? My itchy scars.

SPEAKER_01

No, I'm trying to think if I've had anything else. I've been relatively well this Oh no, I haven't. Did I tell you about my allergic reaction? Did I tell you what were you like? And I was a rash.

SPEAKER_02

Did you get a little reaction on me?

SPEAKER_01

I had a rash down my chin and on my eyes. When I was with you. Yeah, but I had I had makeup on to cover up. So I had a rash down my chin, underneath my eyes, and a patch here. I had to go to the pharmacist. Dermatitis? Yeah, but I'm allergic to metal.

SPEAKER_02

So whenever I see You're holding a metal bear claw, you remember?

SPEAKER_01

I'm holding it by the rubber you've rubbed it your entire back. I know. I'm allergic to nickel actually, but I'm allergic to the metal and microphones that you use on stage. So every time I do a gig, afterwards my lips get all blistered and my chin gets a big rash, and my eyes get a big rash because I can't help basically licking it, being all over it. So and dairy, because I had a gig on Friday night in Armat, and then the four gigs on Saturday and Sunday in dairy. I obviously the mic was rubbing all about me. And I took kind of shows were you doing? Why was it all up in your eyes? I took a terrible because it just spreads in. I took a terrible reaction. It just spreads the mic. What happened when I left the show rash? I did a sticky buggy. For your patrons. Your patrons. I know, so I got a terrible rash and I had to go to the pharmacist and my my wee eyes were all swollen and all. It just looked oh it looked terrible. She was able to work it out.

SPEAKER_02

She was able to send your electric through the mics from it.

SPEAKER_01

No, I I told her that. I know I've known that for years. Oh so say if I was ever to wear cheap jewellery or I think I'd all Abby riddled. Abby. Say as you looking at my jewellery. I don't know if I ever wear that old cheap jewellery. So normally it's just microphones. So always I will get really bad blisters around my lips and down my chin. Can't you get a microphone that has like a furry thing on it, like a fur furry guard thing? Well, you can get a foam guard, but then from a sensory point of view, I find them a wee bit difficult. Do you know? But it's like rash, sensory discomfort. What would you rather? Um one time depends what the rash is. Well, the first time I got the rash, it was really bad, and it came I I just suddenly got this rash and my lips and everything swole up and it was awful, and they all cracked, and it I was my skin was I don't know how to say it, but like s is it sloth, sloughing off like a snake, like slowing off. I don't know how you say that word, never seen it written down. But I was literally, you know, like snake sheds at skin, slowing, maybe slowing. It was just all disappearing off my lips, and it was terrible. But I've worked out now, I've worked out some microphones. Of course, I'm a I'm a stand-up comedian, a musician who's allergic to body microphones. Oh my god. I know. And she recently Sam put hair extensions on for me, right? Why well you know you know my girlfriend's a hair extensionist, right? She put hair extensions on for me for the crack. A couple of things. I she says, Can I do them for the crack? She gave me two E-rats tails, right? And I thought I looked class, I looked like you know, Tiger King. I just thought I looked Tiger King if he'd, you know, eaten a lot. And um I thought I was gorgeous. Next day I woke up, I had a rash all down my neck, scabby rash, and I had it all down my tummy and all over That's an S T A other areas and all down my thighs. But I mean, uh I'll have to show you a photo after. I mean a severe rash, like it looked like burns and it was all blisters and it was terrible. Um what were you the hair? The hair extensions, there's metal in them. I really know. Yeah. I'm sure how how the hell would I know? I realised that I was allergic and I had a pretty severe allergic reaction to these hair extensions.

SPEAKER_02

I was like, get back and you go with your two rat's tail, Sany.

unknown

Why was it on your legs?

SPEAKER_01

Why was it on between your legs? And it obviously got under me and it spread. What was it again? I don't know, I must have been so I have I've obviously touched them and then must have touched my legs or touched my dumb hair or whatever.

SPEAKER_02

Or your girlfriend the hair extensionist with the metal movie touching.

SPEAKER_01

So oh my god, it was awful. Right, so that's that item. I have one more. Oh one more, right, right. My scratcher, right. Close your eyes for this one. That's my last one. Do not open. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Open They like it, so we monk. Do you like it? I'm a kid what do you think? Why? Why though? What do you think? I don't I fucking hate it.

SPEAKER_01

So for anybody I'm wearing a wig, but the middle is a bald bit, and then I've got hair all around the outside. So, like, what would you even call this? Like a monk? No, or like a man who's bald in the middle and hair around the outside. Why are you saying a monk? You know like a monk. Because they wear hats. No, you know, monks, you would usually see that they might be bald in the middle and then they've hair around the outside. Hashtag not all monks.

SPEAKER_02

Hashtag not all monks, but hashtag some monks. Um, that's really the same colour as your natural hair. It's very realistic of real.

SPEAKER_01

Like even the ball patch. Yeah. Um besides my own ball patch. So the reason I have this. Do you remember the hen I said I was going to? Oh fuck what? So day two of the hen. Everybody has to wear wigs. So again, all these attractive girls have have got like, you know, sandy under grease pink Barbie wig. Um like a wee curly perm. Here's me. I'm gonna turn up wearing this. I look like Uncle Fester. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

You're turning me. Give me a one. You like it? I um no. I think it's class. So the wee the way you wig bit is at the back. Who whose hen? Is Sam going on it? Yeah, it's her best friend. I was about to say, is Sam can you wear all this stuff so you don't get chattered off? I don't think so. I don't think there's any danger of that.

SPEAKER_01

So Oh, is it Megan? Yes, it's Megan's. It's my friend Megan. I've talked about her before on the podcast. So, yes, Megan is getting married, so this is for her hen. But um I thought actually did she. Oh, you'd be a terrible looking man. Very angular. Very angular. Put your blind Angular!

SPEAKER_02

I spend a fortune pick trying to de-angle my face. What are you on about?

SPEAKER_01

Put your blonde hair away. Oh, that's really weird. But do you know actually, if the bald patch wasn't there, that'd be quite attractive, wouldn't it? So red or blonde? I actually think that's a good quality wig. I got that from Sheen. From Sheen. From Sheen, and the bald cap has wrinkles in the forehead to make it natural. Oh why? So I I can't wait. No, I've never you know, I wouldn't be I really don't it's given out at the clown. I wouldn't be invited to ham parties on the regular. Um I wouldn't have a lot of friends and a lot of especially not a lot of female friends who bade hen parties. There's grace in the back, how realistic. And um how much was that in Shane? It was a bit of fiver.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I might get one. I thought that was amazing. Because it's fiver.

SPEAKER_01

So um yeah, so I mean it but it wouldn't be my natural environment, my natural habitat to be at a hen. So I just thought, well, do you know what I bring a bit of diversity? And I'll not just go for the standard sexy costumes.

SPEAKER_02

Although I would pay a top dollar to see an a shell bikini.

SPEAKER_01

Would you? Might try on one if somebody's got one. Um they were very good reveals. They were good. I like that. I love that. Julie, what was your favourite item?

SPEAKER_03

Er the I'll do one for both of you. Yeah. The the medical supplies, I think, for both of you. For both of us? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So my sleep happen your your bowel irrigation? Yeah, my Quafora Money. On the go, we call it. What's it called? Quafora Money. Quafora? On the go.

SPEAKER_01

Qua fora on the go. Do the noise again.

SPEAKER_02

Do the noise You have to follow up where first.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, imagine hearing that come from the toilet every morning. I'm sure there's other people who watch this. Who have one of those?

SPEAKER_02

You can get bigger, bigger thingy mobs, but my heavy bile wouldn't take hold that. So do you have to fill that with that water?

SPEAKER_01

But does that do you just that one bit?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. That's all I need right now.

SPEAKER_01

Mmm. And is that something that's ever going to be fixed or will it be like that forever? Forever. Forever, ever? Forever, ever? Forever? And do you um have you got to the point where you find that enjoyable? No. Is it painful? No, I have no feeling. Oh yeah. So it's not painful or uncomfortable or anything?

SPEAKER_02

No, I get pain. How I know if I need to use the bathroom is I get pain high. Mmm. Usually you get pain low. Oh yes. So that's how you that's how you know I'm really fall of shit if it's up to here.

SPEAKER_01

Oh lovely. Must be up to there all the time. Uh-huh. It's coming out my mind. Well, that was uh that was wonderful. I'm gonna take Oh god, I'm gonna take Google and Albi over here. Um because as you know, we are animal lovers in the podcast. And we have two sponsors for this podcast, and one is Dano's Pet Shop. So if you go to Danos Pet Shop.com, isn't that right?

SPEAKER_02

Dano's Pet Shop.com.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, if you go on, they are a pet shop based in Stravan and also in Derry, and they have all your pets needs, not just my beautiful dogs, but also cats, fish, birds, whatever. Um, so please go on there. They have all different types of stuff toys, accoutrements, mystery boxes, and everything. So go on to danospetshop.com to check them out.

unknown

I'm on.

SPEAKER_01

What if you do?

SPEAKER_02

Are you why are you on your phone? We're meant to be working. Because I'm on, you know, on the podium prizes. Oh, yeah. They sponsor us. Oh yeah. They uh um just entered all of their competitions because it's 49p for a ticket.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02

49p.

SPEAKER_01

Julie, call Emmy 49p.

SPEAKER_02

And you can win.

SPEAKER_01

You haven't paid me yet.

SPEAKER_00

She's getting at it, isn't she? We haven't.

SPEAKER_02

We haven't paid yet. Four 49p, and you can instantly win seven grand. Oh my god. So I I bought a few tickets there, Shah, whilst you were talking, so I didn't know what you were saying.

SPEAKER_01

I was wondering what you were doing.

SPEAKER_02

They also have a competition.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, they do. So they're do so they're our brand new sponsors, they're our main sponsor, and they have released uh a competition specifically for us. So they looked at me and they were like, Do you know what we think of when we look at Eber? Sephora. Exactly. At Sephora. That's what I think when I look at Eber is the personification of Sephora. So You look like someone that works there. Don't I? Or someone that would be on the modeling material or something. So what they did is they are gonna give out a£500 Sephora voucher. Um, the amount of things I could buy with what is it? Oh, makeup.

unknown

Makeup.

SPEAKER_01

The amount of makeup I could buy with that. Um and they uh they are putting the entries out for free. So go and enter. It's free to enter, it's on thepodium prizes.com, free to enter,£500 Sephora, and they're doing that as a celebration of partnering up with us. So please go and enter, go and get the follow. She's getting the majority of the tickets, so get on uh if you want to, if you want to get that. And thank you to the boys and on the Podium Prizes for sponsoring us and good luck for everybody entering the competition. Is that alright? Are you still entering? Aye. I might enter too. I won it for the girlfriend. Are we allowed to win it? Is that like a conflict of interest? What if we do win it? If we do know what we would do, if we won it, it would be like, Do you know if you won the lottery? I wouldn't tell anybody. I wouldn't tell anybody because you people will be all asking for stuff. Oh, if I own the Sephora if I try not to tell anybody.

SPEAKER_03

People would just know because there would be signs. There would be signs. There'd be signs.

SPEAKER_01

I'd be coming on here if false and makeup. And also on the podium prizes, obviously they're doing the Sephora one to appeal to our audience, but they also um they have holidays, they have money, they have loads of stuff. The guy who runs it, Glenn, he I think he's like a Northwest super pick champion or something as well. So um it's for the boys as well, it's for everybody, it's for the in-betweeners like myself. So do go on on the podium prizes and as I say, give them a follow and enter the competitions.

SPEAKER_02

I'm just mana sorry, I'm so quiet because I'm manifesting that seven grand. I entered so many times there now. We could do what we could do? Seven grand.

SPEAKER_01

More episodes. We could do oh, more episodes, yes. What I was gonna say is me and you and Julie could finally book that trip to Turkey.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I need more than seven grand for the those that is.

SPEAKER_01

How much are they in Turkey?

SPEAKER_02

They're like six and a half.

SPEAKER_01

Are you serious? Well I have to take these two with me. I but so they're six and a half on their own? Mm. Right. Well, we may we may enter the 20 grand competition, then we get one up. I know. Um thank you, thank you to our sponsors. Thank you to everyone for watching our unboxing of our random items today. I love that. Um subscribe to the Patreon for our Bimbo into the Wild. Into the Wild we go. Into the wild. And also, um, what else? Oh yes, our Belfast show. Come to our Belfast show. Um, we don't have many seats at all. We're down to the last few, so it's in Mandela Hall, 29th of May. Anything else, Bimbo?

SPEAKER_02

Completely sold out of the dairy tickets. We are getting so we're still getting messages of people saying, please put on an older one. We can't put on another one until we sell out Belfast. So once Belfast is sold out, we could possibly put on a dairy show.

SPEAKER_01

I asked the bosses and they said, Well, you know, I know there's big demand in dairy, but until Belfast sold out, you know, you guys are new to this. Um and they said we can we can't we can't be putting out the ten dairy shows in one Belfast one, so get Belfast sold out and then we might get more for the dairy heads.

SPEAKER_02

We've only got a few more sp spices left for Belfast now, anyway. So now's the time to get on it and get buying for a good night's crack. Absolutely. See you all next week. Thank you.

unknown

Bye.