Bimbo and Butch Podcast
Two total opposites. One seriously unserious podcast.
Comedian Emer Maguire teams up with Podcaster Jenna McCusker to bring you Bimbo and Butch - your new favorite podcast with the hilarious besties you never knew you needed.
Welcome to Bimbo and Butch Podcast!
Bimbo and Butch Podcast
Bimbo & Butch Podcast | Ep 032 | Live Show Recap, Trolls and Pet Dramas
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Welcome to Bimbo and Butch Podcast!
Join comedian Emer Maguire, and business owner Jenna McCusker, as they embark on this hilarious podcast of two total opposites with a whole lot of laughs.
This week Emer & Jenna as they discuss their recent live show, online trolls, Dougal's recent vet visit, boob jobs, and so much more!
New Episode Every Monday.
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Jenna McCusker
www.instagram.com/mentalhealth_and_me
www.tiktok.com/mentalhealth_and_me_
www.instagram.com/houseofscentsni
Emer Maguire
www.instagram.com/emermaguireofficial
I don't really smoke, but here do you have a light? It must be girls.
SPEAKER_00Hi everyone, welcome back to the Bumbo One Butch Podcast with me, your host Jenna, aka Bumbo, and Me, your host Amir, aka Butch.
SPEAKER_02How's it going?
SPEAKER_00It's all good, it's all good, it's all good. I'm Salona High from the weekend.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, we had a great time. Before we get into that, can we just say why is Julie wearing a single roller in her fridge? A fridge? A fringe. Her friend Julie. Why are you wearing a single roller in your fringe? Where are you going after this? Is it date night?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Why are you wearing a single roller in your fringe? Because my What about the rest of your hair?
SPEAKER_01No, it just stops it from flicking out. And I had a shower before I came here and then it dried off on it, and it was really annoying me because it was flicking out over my glasses, so it stuck with your roller in.
SPEAKER_00I thought you were away out of it. I think it would make all the difference. All the difference that way.
SPEAKER_01There's about three strands of hair just you wait. Just you wait until after this episode. I'll take it out and I'll look like a new woman. I can't watch it.
SPEAKER_00So yes, the live show. The live show was so much fun.
SPEAKER_02She stalls the price in the bottom of your glass. I wish was it? Sponsored by Akia.
SPEAKER_00No, we're not.
SPEAKER_02So not at all. I wish we were. So, um yes, the live show. Let's tell them about it.
SPEAKER_00So afraid. Thank you to everyone who came. It was we had a ball. It was the best. And for my first time ever, the audience were on how good were they? Oh the energy in the room was so so good.
SPEAKER_02Do you know what I felt like? What? I felt like I was on a ham party.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't feel like it was all our friends.
SPEAKER_02It had ham party vibes. It does. It really did. Yeah, it really did.
SPEAKER_00And i I think everyone joined on at one stage. Like every single person did.
SPEAKER_02We had uh somebody up on the stage. We had I was walking out through the audience. So um, oh, we just had a great time. The audience was so lovely. Um, you did great for your first live thing. Do you think? Yeah, yeah, you did. I love when you went uh backstage at half time and you said to my brother, How's it going? Because he was there filming. I can't I can't even remember. I was so nervous, what happened? He said, How's it going? And he says, I know everything's going alright. And you're like, No, how was I? And he was like, Oh good, good, good, because he's that simple. But um it was so it was really, really good.
SPEAKER_00The girl, so we put um a girl told us a story about her first we're talking about first dates. Yeah, and a girl told us that she went to Te was it Texas for her first Tinder date. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Like the other week, was it?
SPEAKER_00Or the other week. And I said flew to Texas for a date. I wouldn't even drive to the Cragan for a date. I know. And she flew to Texas and then she said so she came up on the stage, she wanted to sit in her knee.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00She really tried her best.
SPEAKER_02My girlfriend's on the aisles. Why was I gonna see my sister? It's Fraudy and Slip, literally.
SPEAKER_00And then so she she was like telling us the story of how it came about that met in Tinder, and he was a proper cowboy, wore a cow cowboy hat, big deal, but anyway.
SPEAKER_02The girls were going mad for that.
SPEAKER_00They were like they were like, I would go too.
SPEAKER_02And then she was like, Why was they all gonna buy a cowboy hat?
SPEAKER_00Uh my sisters um put an air tag on me because they were are we better because they had a felony.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And we were like, it was a felon. Um and she went and met him and she said it went well, and she's going back to meet him again next week. It was mad because of course the loving mustn't be affecting her.
SPEAKER_02I know.
SPEAKER_00Ballet Claire, are we? Like, are we hop over to Texas? No, not for me. But fair play to her.
SPEAKER_02She came up. I know that was amazing. And also, like, once she says, 'Cause we were like, does anybody have a mad story? And like everyone's like, no, no, no. And then she says, Well, I went to dance this week with somebody and I went over to Texas to meet him, and everyone was like, get her up there. Everyone was like, What? Everybody was like, get her up, and it was so funny. It was We're gonna post a clip of it.
SPEAKER_00I think we should. We have to. There's loads that we have to clip out of that. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. What what was good for me is because I wasn't wearing my glasses, I couldn't see behind row two. So it was just a blur then. So that kind of settled my nerves. That's probably a good thing when it's your first show because like And the day as a pan and the buzz balls while we were getting ready. You were sinking those buzz balls.
SPEAKER_02All I could hear from you was when are you gonna have a drink?
SPEAKER_00Are you drinking? Are you gonna sink? Because I was walking around like an alcoholic. I was like, why? So then Emer comes up. But Emer, because I what? You were more nervous than me. Oh right. But I said, Emir, are you gonna have a drink? And she says, Oh, I'm just getting it out now. Emer whips out a later bottle of vodka. Excuse me. Right? Gin. No, no, vodka first. And then a later bottle of gin. And I thought, is this her pre-drink?
SPEAKER_02Because I only have one buzz bowl here. The gin was mine, the vodka was Sam's. Aye, and then But gin is gin is my drink. I love gin.
SPEAKER_00Aye, so then on stage and we had a few gin and whites.
SPEAKER_02Yep. And what did I do? I brought my own glass.
SPEAKER_00You do, you bring your own glass.
SPEAKER_02I bring my own glass everywhere. All gigs, I use the same glass.
SPEAKER_00I was that drunk, and obviously because I took it to Azipan. Disclaimer, do not do that, please, guys. Um this is the way that my partner found me as soon as I came in.
SPEAKER_02Sorry, do we just get an upgrade there? Partner?
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_02Did you hear that? Boyfriend. Did I partner? He's boyfriend. I don't like saying boyfriend. I feel about five.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you always just kind of refer him to like him.
SPEAKER_02Him? And we've heard boyfriend once or twice, but partner is a big upgrade. It does. Partner's more serious. Do you something tell us? Yes. Well, it's if you say partner, either you're straight and it's more serious, or you're gay. And you're trying to be ambiguous. What?
SPEAKER_00On gender.
SPEAKER_02Because that's the only people I hear saying partner. It's usually gay people who say it, or I always say partner shoot people when they've been upgraded or it's been long term. I've never heard you say partner look. I ask you. Look at it all coy.
SPEAKER_00I ask you, sure. Right, anyway. So I was that coy. I get all showed and all when I have to talk about boys and boyfriends and partners and all. But anyway, I ordered a Domino's because it was that lit. And I don't eat a dominoes with my partner. He said when I fall asleep, I fall into a really deep sleep. Like you could rob my house, you could rob me and my bed, and I wouldn't feel it. Please look at the way he found me. But look what he done to me as well.
SPEAKER_02Oh Jenna, let me see.
SPEAKER_00The tops on my head.
SPEAKER_02Your face.
SPEAKER_00I look like a corpse.
SPEAKER_02Look at that there. Can you see that? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00No! Either did I. You look like a little cake. I wasn't like but what is it? This is how much of a sleep I fall into.
SPEAKER_01Jenna, food's here. Food.
SPEAKER_02Jenna, food here. Oh my god. Jenna! Food. See if somebody said see, I am a very heavy sleeper. Very heavy. But if someone said food. I'd be like we near cat. See if I was waiting on the dominoes. He said I was eating it like his. But that's because they told me. It looks like you're kissing. That's how you learn to kiss whenever you were away. How did you learn how to kiss when you were away? Um in Travan they told us to say washing machine, washing machine, washing machine, washing machine. Or marsh bar, marsh bar. Or if you wanted to use tongue, galaxy bar, galaxy bar. That's when I'm like who taught who's they? The older kids.
unknownThe older kids.
SPEAKER_02So confidently. The older kids.
SPEAKER_00The best knowledge on the back of my hand.
SPEAKER_02What? Uh did you do that? I used to see that in like American TV shows. Did you kiss about going shows? No. So you're like, I don't know what I'm calling. Do you remember I I think I I remember kissing a boy, my babysitter in the middle of the street, not my babysitter, I remember kissing a a boy in my babysitter street when I was about seven. I met him in the middle of the road and we kissed him, we turned and we went home. And I was about seven. I thought, do you mind the boy that you kissed and he burped in your mouth? That wasn't me, it was a family member.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_02And I told you that in confidence. Oh sorry. Yes, that was when we were all wee and we were all playing a game of spin the bottle. Uh someone else kissed a boy. Right. And the boy burped in their mouth. And that is disgusting, isn't it? But I guess if you've got a burp. Well, I mean But that gave him a bad rep, that ruined his credibility for years.
SPEAKER_00He'll just be known as Burp Boy from now on. I know.
SPEAKER_02I know. I think he's like a surgeon or something now, but sure doesn't matter because he's burping.
SPEAKER_00He's burp boy? Burp virgin.
SPEAKER_01Burp virgin. The burp surgeon. The burp surgeon. The virgin.
SPEAKER_02Hey folks, we just want to say a big thank you to our sponsors on the podium prizes. If you head over to their website, they have some brilliant prizes up. They have vouchers, they have cash prizes, holidays, everything you could want. And they are two local boys, and they really, really want us to share their uh competition website with you. So go ahead.
SPEAKER_00Also on the podium prizes sponsored um our live show in Dairy where they give away three prizes to just three, was it three people that bought tickets from them? They give them 50 pounds in cash, that's how good they are. And without their support, our podcast wouldn't be able to keep going. So you can buy tickets for as little as 10p. I've seen 10p. I bought them 10p. Some of the tickets are free. Some of them are free. The Sephora ones are free. I think that's all going.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_00So please, if you are into that kind of thing, win in. Win in money. Win in the money, yeah. If anyone wants to win something, on the podium prizes.com or on the podium prizes on Instagram, and you can get them all there. Since we are all massive animal lovers here on the Bumble and Butch Podcasts, we have probably been sponsored by Dano's Pet Shop. Now, Dano's Pet Shop is based in Straban, and they've also opened a store in Derry in 2023. And Dano's is your one-stop shop for all things pet related. So they sell pet food, pet um treats, pet shampoo, anything pet related that you need is sold by Dano's.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. Um we were all dog owners here. Well, you were dog owner. It has sadly passed recently. Um Julie allegedly has a dog, and I have two dogs, everyone knows, but they do they do stuff for dogs, birds, fish, cats, tiny animals, everything. Uh uh, and they also um I love that the stores in Strabana, obviously. I'm from Straban, you're from Derby, so we've got a sponsor that's very local to us. Um, and you mentioned the food there. No, they do some of the hypoallergenic food. They do that's right. Is it Whistlers? Whistler's dog food. Yeah. I might take a wee run down there because people on the podcast know from last week that Albi was very sick and had pancreatitis and was in the vet hospital for a week.
SPEAKER_03That's right.
SPEAKER_02And he has to go on low-fat food now. So we might go down to Danis to get started out. And they have mystery boxes.
SPEAKER_00I've seen that.
SPEAKER_02Do you know what you get mystery boxes for like makeup and stuff for like football shirt?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They have a natural mystery box where it's all different traits, you don't know what you're getting.
SPEAKER_00So for your dog. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02Well, for your dog, actually, it's not for me. Um whatever animal you have. Absolutely. So thank you so much to that to Danos for sponsoring us. Um, we are we're very appreciative, and we know we have a lot of animal lovers as well who are watching and listening. So head to Danos um what is it, Danos Pet Shop?
SPEAKER_00Danos Pet Shop.co.uk, and that's for Danos, and then whistlersdogfood.com for the dog food.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. So have a wee check out uh and thank you, Danos.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. So do you know the the dairy show sold out within 24 hours, I think, didn't it? Um I can't remember. We were getting constant requests, please, please put more dick on for dairy. Right up till that day, we were still being tortured for tickets, please, please, please. So we have a few left for our dairy or no for our Belfast Live show. And I know the same thing's gonna happen. I know they're gonna sell out, and then I know people are gonna be so annoyed. So I don't know how many we have left, but not that many.
SPEAKER_02Not too many, not too many.
SPEAKER_00Especially after the dairy show and how well that went.
SPEAKER_02Ticket sales have gone way up. Yeah, we don't have too many at all. So we're waiting on a number to see how many we have, but if people want to get them, they they'd need to get on quick because at dairy, even that day, there's so many people messaging me saying Oh my god, are there any tickets going? Anybody? And I was trying to sort people out with tickets from people who were sick and couldn't go and blah blah blah. But there weren't the amount that people wanted.
SPEAKER_00No, there were we could have followed the Millennium Forum three times over. I don't know about that, but no, we could have. We could have. But um even the security men loved it.
SPEAKER_02I will maybe I'm not sure they were the biggest fans. Uh I'm sure it just felt like a big hand party to them. Aye. I'm sure there's probably a per security man and the poor sign guy. But he's lovely. He's a civil as well, too. He's civil, but he's only young, you see. I say what age is he? Oh, he's well he he said he was born in like 2001 or something. Jesus! Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's I don't know, he was he was young like. Uh what would that make him, mathematician in the corner? Um I think like 25 or something? No, like yeah. No, no, like yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he was he was young like he was lovely. He must have knew with me and you together.
SPEAKER_02I think he did, and I think I checked up because I he did my four shows in the Millennium Forum last week.
SPEAKER_00That's right, I that's that's where I met him originally.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and he was lovely and all. And I think he thought he saw a different side to me before we're doing this because obviously it's a very different audience, Bumble Butch, than my comedy shows. Because Bumble Butch was very hand party vibes. It was and it was like we were on a night out. We were we were, we were on a night out. Should we give it fun?
SPEAKER_00Should we give two tickets away for the Belfast one? That's a good idea. For the Patreons on Patreon?
SPEAKER_02Yes, we'll give them away on on uh on Patreon so that it's our our uh nearest and dearest subscribers. So yes, we will do the competition and let two of our patrons win uh two well, one of our patrons won two tickets. Is that how we're gonna do it? Yeah. Um and the way they'll do it is we'll we'll post something on Instagram, get them to like and share, comment their name. Yeah. That they want the tickets. But you have to be a Patreon member, so whoever we choose to win, we will then go on Patreon and see that the names match up. Give you a wee job to do. But because we would we would like them to go to our patrons who who really really support us.
SPEAKER_00And they do because without your support this would be extra hard.
SPEAKER_02Extra hard. It's supposed to be dead in the water. We didn't have our patrons to keep us going.
SPEAKER_00And the people who come to our shows.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00So it's so important.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00What else did I want to speak? Oh, that's what I wanted to speak to you about. My niece said to me only yesterday, oh my god, they she was on about the live show, how to go, blah blah blah blah. My uh one of my sisters was there, so she was able to say, you know, she said it was amazing. Oh yeah. And my niece was like, I cannot believe the amount of hate that Emer gets on TikTok. And I was like, Where? Who is where are they? And she said that you posted about Juggle being your your assistant's dog, and you got a lot of hate about that. And I must have messed that. I don't know what is wrong with my TikTok. So I went on and I couldn't believe some of the comments that were under there.
SPEAKER_02I wanted to box them all. Yeah, so I'll get random. Now I don't get I don't get too much, but I do get I do get um a few messages. So I put up a video and it was just me and Dougle in the car and I was taking him to get his haircut and just whatever. And I think it was that one, somebody had commented underneath it and said something like it was a guy and said something like an assistance dog for autism, what's next? And he says, Um, you're actually just lazy or something. And I was like, What does he think I like he does for me? Do you know what I mean? How could me have an assistance dog make me lazy? Unless you're riding on his back. I know, I was like, Does he think that he he ferries me everywhere? Does he think he drives the car to the gates? Does he think like what does he think he does? And then I um I had kind of thought it's really annoying because he's kind of doing damage to autistic people and people who think, you know, by by commenting that that kind of thing, and um I just posted a video a video. I posted a video my speech to some workers in the middle of the night and says, Look, uh, you know, I don't know why you would comment something like this on a stranger's and I'm just putting up videos of me and my dog, I'm just trying to make people happy, make people laugh, like there's no need to be hateful. And also I said, like, you know, read a book. Like he was basically saying he said something about the you know the fact that I could drive or something.
SPEAKER_00How how can someone who can drive need an assistance dog? That's what he said.
SPEAKER_02How can someone who can drive need an assistance dog? And I was like, What does driving have to be? Autistic people are are often very good drivers. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Um so I just thought it's somebody really uneducated, but anytime anyone puts an ignorant comment or something about autism or whatever, it's always you go on their profile and they're practically illiterate, they're obviously really uneducated, and they're just also really ignorant. They are. Do you know? Because why would you go out of your way? Imagine me like commenting on a blind person's Instagram being like, You're lazy for having that gay dog. I know. And also You don't need that case. You're you're way less lazy because it takes a lot of work. He's still a dog, it takes a lot of work to look after him, it takes a lot of work. The size of him, it takes a lot of money for me to look after him. Yeah, I have to pay a lot for his he has to have a special insurance. Um, like he goes he goes to trainings. The amount he eats, the size of him, like he costs a lot of money. Because someone else had commented one time being like uh ridiculous that this person gets this dog for free. And I was like, I've never got him for free. Why are people assuming everything? I don't know. He costs me uh hundreds and hundreds and hundreds a month by the time I pay for his insurance and everything. Oh, I call it. His insurance, his food, all that kind of stuff. He cost me a fortune. You should say his wardrobe, his hoodies. I've put I put cologne on him today. He cost me a fortune. Now he's wearing his doggy, his doggy uh bugalugs, talcum powder cologne. But you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00I thought people are actually But I loved your response back though because it was so you you like clap back, but you also educate it at the same time without being snarky. Yeah, you know what was my being like what's your address?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm not I'm not very snarky, I'm a very measured person, and I just thought like you're damaging to other people by being so stupid. So I thought maybe you could just educate somebody, it might work better. Do you know what I mean? Um yeah, but it's a just a few people who just are not pleasant people, and then I think there must be something going on in their life for them to be so hateful towards a stranger who hasn't done anything to them.
SPEAKER_00Do you remember the boy commented under and said, Does the blonde is the blonde woman wearing prosthetics on her face?
SPEAKER_02I take that back.
SPEAKER_00I'm really sorry.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. What I remember the back saying something like what? Yeah, she's beautiful, yeah, she's beautiful. I don't know. Is she for real with those eyebrows?
SPEAKER_00Someone said a lot of people said loads of people say it. I like that one to be fair enough. No, because ChatGPT also said, Did you draw on those eyebrows in an earthquake?
SPEAKER_02So it had tone them down. Chat GPT is savage. People are horrible.
SPEAKER_00I'm like, as if you're annoying this. As if you're no we don't care. Oh no. We literally don't. You're you're you're adding to our engagement engagement. Keep keep them coming, big man. We have um loads and loads and loads because we took an Easter break. How dare us? We did. How dare us?
SPEAKER_02I got panicked messages from people. Were are you guys is everything okay? Are you okay? How are you doing? Uh is the podcast cancelled? Is what's happening? Is it canceled? And I was like, I was just at maths there.
SPEAKER_00We were upped our neck and Easter eggs. We were you weren't at math either. I wasn't. No, you weren't. I wasn't. I was at mass early. Do you know where I was on Easter Sunday?
SPEAKER_02Where? I was in the vet with him. He was ill. Oh, that's right. I was in the vet on Easter Sunday. He was hospitalized again. The same as Albay. It was Albe last time. But yeah, he was he was hospitalized. Never done. Well, I woke up to the sound of gush and water. In my bedroom. Was he the s did he have the same problem? Yeah. Hard gushing water woke me up and I thought, is he? I thought there's no I knew it was him because it was gushing from a height. I'll be so small that there's not a waterfall, a waterfall. I thought, what the he is he paying in the bedroom? Because he would never ever do that. I turned around, there was blood cascading out of his bum. And I went full panic. There was diarrhea and blood all over the room. Which is what happened, Albi also two months ago. But it wasn't the same thing that they had. But he was, oh my god, had to bring him to the vet and they had to had met him overnight. Oh, for loads of nights. He was in for ages. I don't know. I don't know. It was I don't know how many nights it was now.
SPEAKER_00Well, I didn't see anything because I had a social media break.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, it was no, he was in. I just posted a video because a few people were posting saying, Where's Dougle? And then I thought, I may tell them Dougle's in intensive care and the vet. He was so sick. Um and of course I was hysterical. And then do you need to date it? Uh practically. And they they let me visit Albi when Albi was sick. Yeah. They wouldn't let me visit him. Oh, so you really thought something was wrong? Yeah, and they wouldn't let me visit him because they thought it would really unsettle him because he's nervous. So I wasn't allowed to see him, and I was beside myself. And then I'm I was supposed to go to my parents for Easter dinner, we do that every year, but I couldn't because I needed to be close to the vets, and then they rang me on Easter Sunday and I was able to go in and they said wouldn't go to the toilet for them and wouldn't eat for them. So could I try and take him home and see if he'd do those things for me and continuous treatment at home? Because he's that odd he wouldn't do it for them. He was refusing. It was that odd. He is that odd. He's he's such a dope knowing.
SPEAKER_00He wanted back to his own place.
SPEAKER_02He is so needy. So every mat in my house was covered in blood entire yeah. No, I I c I can't do that. I can't I I can't. That's I'm sorry. My brother had to go and buy one of those um those uh rug cleaners. I cleaned the rugs all twice, and then he had he went and bought a rug truck. Yours or Sam's or my own's and he was uncleaning three of my rugs or his defecation.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna read out some qu well some of them are just weird comments that um people are sending privately and then others are questions. So this person, Michelle Kelly, said, I dreamt the other night that Emer was standing for DUP as an MLA in the next election. Where did she hear that? That actually hasn't been released yet.
SPEAKER_02DUP. I think you'd fit them right and well. Where would I be standing for? South Belfast or Chaban? Where would I get more chance of being elected? Hopefully neither.
SPEAKER_00I wouldn't want to be elected at all.
SPEAKER_02I can't what a specific dream. I know. But even I mean I could understand if it was Julie standing for the DUP. But me.
SPEAKER_00Probably because we were on about across community or something, I don't know. Maybe. Because these were only sent on today. I must inquire if there's any spaces in their team. If they need me. Well they don't do much. So it says someone said Claire Claire Diane. I seen on the Gears Group chat group the Gears Group chat? GGC, is that right? Podcasts folks change their bedsheets every month. What the fuck? One week max. What about you? You go first. Uh how about a month? Minds are changed every week. Um I I'd sometimes go a month.
SPEAKER_02Minds are changed weekly on a Wednesday.
SPEAKER_00Why?
SPEAKER_02That's the day they're changed. I've a white specifically. You're like, why is Tuesday a good night or something? Um because somebody comes to give me a hand and they're changed on that day. You have a cleaner? Somebody I have a cleaner as well.
SPEAKER_03What's wrong with that?
SPEAKER_02We're gonna call her a cleaner. A helper? A maid? A butler? A helper. As a Sam. Not as a tell. Sam will clean nothing. Sam clean that's why she has a cleaner. One of my friends comes and helps me around the house and sorts out my CPAP machine and changes bed and all. I do pair, but I don't know that she would identify as a cleaner. Okay. Because that's not really she just she does it just to help me. So she yeah, my bed's changed every Wednesday.
SPEAKER_00She doesn't come every Wednesday. Years. I've been sleeping in my own filth. I forgot.
SPEAKER_02You'd be like so lovely when she does it.
SPEAKER_00You'd be like the granddaughter of um Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I've been called that before. Because I'm always in my bed. I you do you you snap in bed and all?
SPEAKER_02I couldn't. I love being in bed.
SPEAKER_00So do I, but do sleep only. Like I can't go to bed and sit on it. I can't go to bed and do work.
SPEAKER_02Well, going out with Sam has really got me out of my bed a lot more than I would have been. Unfortunately. Because I would work in bed. Uh your bath is chill in bed, have snacks in bed, have my dinner in bed. So say before I was Snacks in bed?
SPEAKER_01Huh? Snacks in bed? And it wasn't. Snacks.
SPEAKER_02Snacks.
SPEAKER_00I was getting all weird. I was like, why is she listening this mumbling in the middle of everything?
SPEAKER_02I'm the snack. Um no, I would uh So see before I was out with Salam, I would have literally I usually wouldn't have had dinner, but if I was having dinner, I would just come into the house, get something, bring it straight up to bed, eat it, stay in bed, do more work, stay in bed, go sleep.
SPEAKER_00No, I cannot sleep in the bed that I've been sitting in.
SPEAKER_02I love lying down. I love lying down.
SPEAKER_00No, I only lie down to sleep. And I only sleep in bed at I I I would love to be lying down right now. Same.
SPEAKER_02And talking to you. So see when my friends would come and visit me and all. Why are you going on my sleep? You be lying in bed like with this? I like my brother next to it. He would come in and visit me and I would be lying in bed and he'd come up and visit me in my room. And you're in bed covers up over you. It has to because I'm naked. No, I covers under the covers naked. It's even worse. Might have a wee pair of box or something.
SPEAKER_00Right, so you're putting me in bed, eh? You're going years then? No, I would probably go in about a month.
SPEAKER_02Depending, depending on but I no, I think I would still change mine very regularly because of two dogs.
SPEAKER_00See, m mind's has changed. I don't like change as much as I love the fresh cleaning thing. Bed changing for me is harder to sleep then. Does that make sense? That's fair enough. So it would take me a few nights to get used to it again and and I I could be bothered. So Emer's going years, I'm going about a month. Right. That was a good question. Hair by Dermot. What do we all think of Jenna's new hair? Emer, let's try and keep the steamer off at this time. Who's that bitch? That's your hair, but that's my hairdresser. Your hairdresser. Um, what do we think of it? What do you think about have you even noticed that I have new hair? Well, it's longer from the bob. Emer. The bob was centuries ago. It was it was the hair then. Right, so has it's grown? It's grown. Right. It's lovely. It's longer. But it's just grown. No, it's well it's like it's um a weave. But a longer weave. Weave?
SPEAKER_02Douglas like, what the hell? A weave. It's lovely. It's really nice.
SPEAKER_00I'm not allowed to put the seamer on it. In case it melts. Is it plastic? No, but it has a plastic band somewhere in it. Just banded around your hair. Uh stitched and stitched into your scalp. No, it's like I know I thought that's what happened. I thought it it was going to stitch it into my hair. But what's it stitched into? Beads. We like beads. You should know this, your girlfriend's an extension extensionist, isn't it? But I I'm not there while she's extensioning. I'd be asking all loads of questions about my partner's work.
SPEAKER_02Too much. Well I would if it wasn't extensions. Do you know what I mean? I would be asking if it was house extensions. Something I was interested in. I ask her about work and I ask her about her clients as she calls them and her or I don't actually ask her about the nutty gritty of extensions because I asked my partner, but he's an electrician.
SPEAKER_00I ask him all all different things. Like how do I rewire this and what does this mean?
SPEAKER_02If she was an electrician, I'd be asking her about that. I'd be interested in that. You'd be doing the job. I would be I'd be like, you're doing that wrong. So I mean, but extension, like I don't I wouldn't even I I think it's more because I I wouldn't even know what to ask. True. I have learned some things. I've learned that the hair that she puts in is real. Yeah. It's real hair. It's real hair. I thought I was always thought but it wasn't. Well you can get vac hair, which you can't heat or anything. Hers is real that's real. I've learned that you can do a half head or a full head.
SPEAKER_00That's highlights.
SPEAKER_02I I've learned that you can do you have to do a refit every six weeks. Eight weeks? Yeah, six to eight weeks. Six to eight weeks. Um You're doing good. I know. Um I've learned uh no, that's up.
SPEAKER_00Well that's that's really good. Last quite a lot. It's really interesting here. Yeah, but I like it. Like your hair. So um Aileen Aileen Daughter. Who has had the most profound impact on your life? This is a question for both of you.
SPEAKER_01That's a great question.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow. What noise are you making over there?
SPEAKER_01That wasn't me. I don't know where that came from.
SPEAKER_00Listen.
SPEAKER_02It was like a rumbly pumbly.
SPEAKER_00I think it's my stomach. It sounds like a stomach, but uh I thought it was a bird.
SPEAKER_02Rumbly bumbly.
SPEAKER_01It didn't sound rumbly plumbly to me.
SPEAKER_02I'm sorving. Okay, who well yours is possibly Sister Claire.
SPEAKER_00Yes, possibly. Sister Claire. But you can pick you can pick your own person if you want. Hamer just tells me what they say.
SPEAKER_02No, I was trying to think, I don't know if probably I outside your your your mommy and your mommy has had the most profound impact in your life, she will be delighted.
SPEAKER_00Her singing is on point. Um well apart from your bot your parents and your your own siblings and all that, who are great in their own ways. In their own ways. In their own ways. Um probably probably Sister Claire for me. Oh that is lovely. What about you? Honestly, Alby and Dougal. Oh well, that makes sense. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So I got Alby.
SPEAKER_00Shit, I should have said my son.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh yeah, you should have.
SPEAKER_01Chili, can we cop? I can put my son.
SPEAKER_02I got Albi ten years ago when I was struggling um and didn't wasn't social and didn't have any friends, and I got him to be like a built-in friend for me, and he had such a positive impact on my life. He was the best thing's ever happened to me. Um, and then a couple of years ago got Dougle to complete our little family, and yeah, they are I always wanted dogs my whole entire life and never was allowed one. Um, and I think it would have been life-changing for me as a child, but better late than ever, they have had a massive impact in my life. Even today, I had Dougle in doggy school um, and they were saying, like, look, we can just see you're so attached. And the guy who is um a dog trainer with with uh where where he goes to doggy school, the most lovely, lovely guy, Gary, I really, really like him. He was saying, you know, um, you can see every time we go to doggy school, his confidence coming on, but my confidence coming on as well because I'm feeling more confident they bring him places and stuff like this.
SPEAKER_00So um, yeah, them for me, 100%. Aye. Well, now I feel bad for not saying my son, but I did do a disclaimer and say, well, apart from your family and apart from your family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So love my son. Obviously, what the hell is that noise? I've heard it again, it's like a m.
SPEAKER_02No, it's like it sounds like the fan of a laptop.
SPEAKER_01It's it's my hard drive.
SPEAKER_02Right, okay. No, no, it's okay. As long as I know what it is. Sorry. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_00Right, so this one from Mavy.
SPEAKER_02Mavy?
SPEAKER_00Mavy. How how do you spell that? M-A-E-V-I-E. That's a cute name. It is, Mavy. I saw a woman walking her dog. She reached into your bag, fed the dog something, and then licked her fingers.
SPEAKER_02I do that. Do you? Not if I feed them dog food or dog treats. But no, not lick what else would you be feeding them? Not lick my fingers. Well, today I gave him a hula hoop and then I had another hula hoop immediately after it. Like I I wouldn't be put off by that.
SPEAKER_00No, I would kiss I would have kissed my dog in the march let him in the mouth March bar.
SPEAKER_02I well I would like see even today. I was somewhere and somebody gave me a glass of water, but they also gave Dougla a glass of water. But they said to me, Oh sorry, I spilt most of your water, so you've only got we tell you about. And he licked out his water and I thought I I was thinking if there were people weren't here, I'd be pouring the rest of his into mine. Even though he'd licked it.
SPEAKER_00I will I I wouldn't I would let him I feel like he's cleaner than people. The things you let people do to you? If I didn't finish all my dinner, I would have set the plate in the floor and the dog would have finished it and then I would just sort of wash the plate and put it away.
SPEAKER_02I would do that too, and my brother's all be my brother would be disgusted by that and I'm like, it's going in the dishwasher and they're probably cleaner than you. What were we gonna say, Julie?
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say, um, can we mention what you disclosed earlier on about your dog bowls? I just found like that was really strange. The dishwasher? I don't think that's normal, but it'd be interesting to hear people think about it.
SPEAKER_02So I Dougle's here at the minute and uh he's very thirsty, and I forgot to bring his wee water bottle in the car. So I text Julie before we got here and I said, Julie, you know the way you have a dog? She went straight to BM and bought two dog bowls. Would you be able to bring a wee dog bowl? Just uh give Dougle a drink of water. Um look at him lying there so peacefully in that wee tire. It's making me really tired. He's so good. I said, Would you bring a wee dog bowl? And she did. I could hardly get the water ended. I was that filled with grime. And why joking? But she says to me, Oh, it's it's dirty, give it away. And I says, No, it's fine, it's filled up with water. Um and and and you said to me, It's never been cleaned, or what'd you say?
SPEAKER_01Um I rarely clean it.
SPEAKER_02I rarely clean it, and I thought, Jesus Christ, she's gonna be giving dough infection. He's working here and he's gonna be picking something up. Uh and then I was like, Oh right, do you know that? And then you said, Do you clean yours? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um and I said, Yeah, I put mine in the dishwasher. Uh and I put them now, I never I didn't used to clean them, but I do put my dog bowls, all their drinking bowls and their food bowls in the dishwasher about every three days. Because I think if you think about it, if you're a human, you're not going to keep eating food off the same dirty plate over and over again. Like surely that would make you sick. I would have just washed Taz's bowls along with our dishes as well. Yeah. No, I put them in the dishwasher. I'm really funny about washing dishes because I think they'll have bacteria and all this, but it's obviously an OCD thing. So I put them all in the dishwasher and absolutely roast the life out of them. But I would feel like, oh my god, I'm I'm neglecting them if I didn't wash their bowls, feel guilty, now would you either? But if I didn't wash their bowls frequently, because surely they would get something. Like imagine imagine you came to my house and I give you a bowl of spaghetti, right? That was sitting for three days? No, just a bowl of spaghetti, and then you stayed for another two days. Right. And I give you the same bowl the second day, the same bowl the third day, right? And then I cleaned it, that would barely be good enough. Imagine you went to Julie's and you got the same bowl that she had given you six months ago with the same residue on it. She could not be like, You trying to kill me or what? Uh sure. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00When you put it under contact, wash the dog's bowl, but you don't have a well. I wonder the other people wash their dog's bowls. Like frequently? Yeah. Or at all? At all. Yeah. Did you wash Tazes? I but I don't I can't remember now if it was a lot a lot though. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01The only time I wash mine would be whenever like someone's coming to look after or she's going to stay at somebody's house or with RSPCA supposed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So it's for it's for it's for I don't think I'm stinking. She's washing her dog's bowl for optics, but not to stop the dog from getting a serious infection. Oh my god, Joey.
SPEAKER_01She drinks toilet water.
SPEAKER_02Like she Why are you letting her drink toilet water? Dogs only drink toilet water if they're thirsty. No.
SPEAKER_01Every now and then. Every now and then. Every now drink toilet water. Every now and then I'll hear her just having me pulp. And it's really weird because there is water in her bowl. I think she just takes away notion sometimes. But she'll also drink stuff like that.
SPEAKER_02Infection's probably gone to her brain from the.
SPEAKER_01She'll drink like puddles and all from the garden.
SPEAKER_02So I do think so. Someone told me recently, because Dougle loves drinking rainwater. And someone told me recently that our tap water has chemicals in it that they do not like the smell of, so they will prefer to drink the rainwater and that it's actually better for them. Wow, I never think. So like, oh that's hmm. That's interesting. But I would totally let them so if I have crumbs left in the plate, I give it to them as a wee treat. The plate and all. But if there's people around who don't have dogs, they think that is the most disgust disgusting thing in the world. And I'm like, it's gonna be absolutely boiled in the dishwasher.
SPEAKER_00But I would have ate ice cream and then took a spoonful and then give Taz a spoonful and then took a spoon. Like that wouldn't put me off.
SPEAKER_02I would give him a look of my ice cream, Lick. I would, it wouldn't put me off. No. But even Sam wouldn't do that, and she's a Husky, she'd be like, give me a disgusting. Maybe we were just so obsessed because I was like, Our dogs were more husky's husky's a proper dog. Her dog, her alleged dog. What is it? An Alsatian or something? A German Shepherd. German Shepherd? Is that not an Alsatian?
SPEAKER_01No, I don't think they're the same.
SPEAKER_02I thought they were the same thing.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02You play Guests the Breed every day, you should know. No, but I thought German Shepherd and Alsatian were synonyms. I really did. I'll have to look it up after this. Um but I I just thought Alsatian was the the the culture way to say it. Um but basically what was I even gonna say there? Oh yeah, so they're proper dogs, but I feel like Taz and my two boys are more like babies. Babies, yeah, and they're so clean and they're so do you know what I mean? Aye. I I feel like that's different to like a big outside dog who doesn't act like a human who doesn't it's just different. Aye. Do you know?
SPEAKER_00So like I would have walked around with Taz wrapped like a newborn. I'd breastfeed home with what breasts? Stretching the whole way from belly to Belfast. Taz was white cute. Okay, I miss him so much, you know. I really do. And it I feel so bad because I know humans lose humans a lot, and then I feel selfish for saying I miss my dog, but when I'm up the quay, I miss him so desperately then. And seeing wee bits of him that I still haven't got rid of in the house, and I don't think I can yet still. I was like, No, I still I like his leads and all. Uh his leads and all. I don't know where I would ever get it rid of those. And his favourite blunky and his wee teddy and all, and his ball and says balls. His balls, they were taken off and he just wandered on, got knittered. Um but I I do and I miss him so much, and I and I say it a lot a lot that people are like, shut the fuck up.
SPEAKER_02It was only a dog. It's not only a dog, it is so it is pure grief, and I dread the day something happens to one of them because I know I'll not be able to cope.
SPEAKER_00When when me and Dan's daddy separated, it was so hard for me because Dannan would be going with his daddy and I had never been apart from Dannen. So at least when I was coming home, I always had Taz. Yeah, but now since Taz had died, it's just empty. I know, yeah. It's so empty, and I can't describe it because it's a feeling not a seeing kind of thing.
SPEAKER_02Dogs create a real presence in your house, and even though Taz was so tiny, like you still feel that presence. Like if I ever um going away to do gigs and I leave them to to doggy daycare. Shout out to Margaret and Brian, um, who are the loveliest, most wonderful couple, they take them for doggy daycare. And if I ever leave them off, if I ever have to go back to the house to pack my equipment, no, my house feels so sad and empty. And it's because that their presence isn't there, it doesn't matter that one of them's tiny, one of them's big. He's dreaming. Look at his legs. Or he's having a seizure. I hope he's dreaming. Oh my god, Julie, look how cute he is. He's running in his dream, he is adorable. I used to see Variote has when he had dreams. I I love whenever they're dreaming, they twitch their wee legs. Okay, look at his wee chest, but she ever going in their dreams. And I'd be like, Wake up, it's okay, it's a dream. Oh look, he's woken up. Oh shit. Hello, gorgeous boy. I'm sorry. Are you okay? Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep, big man. He's like, You two still yabber not.
SPEAKER_00He's always your born the hell.
SPEAKER_02Oh, look at him, big stretch. Ok, they're so cute, aren't they?
SPEAKER_00He is the best boy.
SPEAKER_02He is right.
SPEAKER_00On that note, what were you gonna say? No, people ask me, Am I gonna get another dog, but my. My son won't delay it. He is like absolutely no. Does he feel like it's a betrayal to Taz?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I felt like that about Albi. Aye. But when I got home it wasn't like that. It was the best thing for me and for Albi.
SPEAKER_00He gets so upset when people say he's like, no, Taz is my dog, and he does. He carries Taz's ashes around and that we teddy wear. The wee dog. That is so sad. Right, listen to this one. Do we have time for one more? Well I was gonna say we can do it next week because we've run out of time, but go on, one more. One more. My ex-boyfriend had a foot fetish. He literally tried to take the shoes off my feet in public everywhere we went. In public?
SPEAKER_02What was he gonna be doing in public to your feet? Just looking rid of his feet? I was kind of like going. That's how we're getting your dog. That's how we bit the totes on the probes. Have you ever been meeting around with a foot fetish? No. Me neither.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_02Would you sell pictures of your feet for half a million?
SPEAKER_00Uh I would sell for 50p. There is there are websites. I only heard it today. Just only feet? Oh no. It's called OnlyFate.
SPEAKER_02That's a pr yeah, that's a pretty good idea.
SPEAKER_00Um I think I might do it. We should really? I have really pretty feet. Oh, do you? Do you not? Oh, I have beautiful feet. My feet are my best feature. We should do a gangbang. Oh, a double gangbang. Julie, how's your feet?
SPEAKER_02Uh not good. I wouldn't imagine Julie's got good feet. Are they dodgy? I'd imagine she's got her toes and all. No, my toes, my toes don't. Bunyons? Hoofs. Your toes don't bend?
SPEAKER_01In my big toes don't bend.
SPEAKER_02What do you mean? Is there no knuckle in them?
SPEAKER_01Knuckles? Yeah, like no knuckle on my big toe, so I What? Yeah, I I was only joking! No, that's well that's the only way I can describe it. Well one time my fair Right. The only way I can describe it is my sister sat on my foot once and there was this big crash. What? And it's never really been the same. And then Wait, what age were you? Uh like 35. Five or six.
SPEAKER_02So I was sitting Well your knuckles and your toes really should have come in by then.
SPEAKER_01I was sitting on my knees like on wooden floor, and she sat on my foot and then it like cracked into the wooden floor. But then I I did ballet um whenever I was younger. And I remember whenever well, this was the problem. So they wanted to to practice the whole like toe pointing thing. They wanted you to pick up a big like thick whiteboard marker with your toes.
SPEAKER_00I do that all the time.
SPEAKER_02That was part of my rehabilitation. I pick things up all the time. This is the thing, but I always pick my clothes off the floor of my toes and throw them up in there and they catch it. That has a skull.
SPEAKER_01Well, I couldn't do it because well, like I I mean I could do it with my other toes, but that toe just the big toe would not bend round. And I remember the ballet teacher, literally, like she thought that I was mucking around and she was literally standing trying to force my toe to bend round this mark. Can we see your toe?
SPEAKER_02Get them out, Jay dog, get your dogs away.
unknownThat's weird.
SPEAKER_02Oh, she's not even wearing socks.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_02I can't see that far. She doesn't have an octoler toe. Oh my god, it's flat! She doesn't.
SPEAKER_00Luck? Luck?
SPEAKER_02Can I touch?
SPEAKER_00Just for anyone that can hear or see, she is stroking Julie's big toe. And I mean stroking.
SPEAKER_02What the hell? The rest of her toes aren't too nice either, to be fine. I did not see she's not in on it. No, she's not in on it. No. Look at Dougle putting his front foot forward. He's like, can I check mine? Check my little toe beans.
SPEAKER_01I would consider her for tonight. I didn't have that on my bingo card for tonight. Either? For my big toe.
SPEAKER_00Is that the medical term? Is it too exciting? Put that on your website? Is that the medical term for that bone in your toes?
SPEAKER_02Is it called a knuckle as well? Oh, I don't think knuckle is the medical term for it in your hands either. I don't know what the medical term is. Well, is that what you call it? A knuckle? I've never actually said it out loud before, but it felt right. What what?
SPEAKER_00Julie's hard on toe felt right. Julie's spoon.
SPEAKER_02Julie's finish right. No. Not that her toe felt right, but using the word knuckle. I thought you meant my toe. I was like, what do you mean? Her toe felt alright. Like, right? I could have wet myself. No. Say a knuckle felt like the right thing to say. Maybe we have some doctors or anatomists in the comments who can let us know. Is it called a knuckle?
SPEAKER_00I know it's called phalanges. The fing the bones in your fingers and your toes are called phalanges.
SPEAKER_02Uh well I think in your I think in your feet there are tarsils and metatarsals. I think phalanges are fingers specifically.
SPEAKER_00Oh is it just fingers?
SPEAKER_02I think this yeah, I think it's just fingers. But um What's buzzing over there?
SPEAKER_00It's my phone.
SPEAKER_02It's after I dead or toe. That's the most action she's had in a long time. On that note, on that note of buzzing, we're gonna buzz off out of on here. We are. Uh thank you for listening. Subscribe to the Patreon. Um, yeah, thank you so much to everyone who's already on the Patreon and everyone who leaves us lovely comments on Spotify and YouTube and everything. Continue to do it, leave us reviews.
SPEAKER_00Subscribe to our YouTube as well. It costs nothing, it means nothing to use, but it means everything to us because it means that we can create more content for you. And tickets for the buzzing. Are you still buzzing?
SPEAKER_01I'm not buzzing anymore.
SPEAKER_00Well, I'm she came. There's a lot. It's my hard drive. It's your hard drive. It's your hard drive. Um, yes, what were you saying there, sir? Um tickets for the 29th of May. You can get them on our um link in the bio as well. And I just know they're going to sell out fast. We haven't got many left, so we want to jump on that if you want a great night out. Absolutely so much for listening.
SPEAKER_02See you all next week. Bye.