Is Open Relationship really necessary? W/Carlton

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

You know, me and my father were traveling somewhere in Europe in Paris where we saw a new guy that we wanted to play with. And it would be a scenario that we could play and then it'd be like, okay, person in forest. I will never see you again. I'm going to go to the one night and then we'll just go back. Right.

SPEAKER_02 0:19

But like in the city where I live, I don't see that being a good Kylie Unfill.

SPEAKER_04 0:27

We will drive. We will stay.

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Hi guys. Welcome to another episode of Kylie Unfiltered. My name is Yosin as your host. And we also have Shay here on Sets. And today we're talking about open relationships. And we have an important personality right here on Sets. His name is Carlton. He has an opinion on anything and everything. Hi guys. So Carlton, let's know you, Carlton. Who is Carlton? I am just a fan of the show. I'm a friend of Shay. And I'm very happy to be here today. Welcome, Caroline. So, Carlton, before we dissect this topic, we're going to let you take an oath. So you say do like this. Do like this. Okay. You say. Yeah. I Carlton. I Carlton. Solemnly swear. Solemnly swear. That I will spew the tea. That I will spill the tea. And nothing but the tea. And nothing but the tea. To death do you path? So that's do I path? This is not a wedding. A half screw. Yeah, so um, we're talking about open relationship today. Yeah. Have you have you ever been in an open relationship? Personally, no. Why? Um I think it is um well in that first of all, it never came up. Um with anyone? Yeah, it hasn't. I've here to um previously I would break up the people too quickly before it got outscrewing. So you have commitment issues. No, but if someone that you're in love with actually tell you, oh, let's be open, would you actually like indulge them? I think that it depends on how we're doing at the time. Okay. So if we are not in a good place at the time, that's probably not a discussion at all. Right. Um, or or entertained, I should say. Um if everything was going fine and we're all, you know, uh, you know, doing well sexually and mentally, and we're communicating well, and you know, there we could talk about a scenario where that could possibly happen.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

But there would be like a lot of ground rules for that, I think. So at what points can it be open? Like what at up well you said yes, again to like eat club when you guys are good. So why why should it be open when you guys are good, sexually and everything? Why should it be open? Well, I don't want it to be like a uh a band-aid to fix anything.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

So if it's not good, I had what I wouldn't even entertain the uh conversation, I don't think. I think it's just like we're just gonna break up now, basically. Because I've never heard of an open relationship saving a relationship. It kind of like drags it on, but it doesn't really save it. Okay. So I feel like before we dive into the question half for you, do you think gay relationships actually try when it's open?

SPEAKER_02 3:12

When you say they try, like keep that survive yeah, when it's open. Like I do know couples who have who have done it and they they blasted and still together. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

Closed or open.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

No, they're open.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

Although I don't know the grap I don't know their ground rules. So I can't. Do you can't say what rules they have in place to keep it going? Oh um, first of all, I want to say like you look amazing. You're you're the kids. Oh my god. Thank you. You do too. No, you look amazing. Seymour. Um so I I just wanted to also like say, like, are you is this something like you would be interested in doing what?

SPEAKER_02 3:48

You know, I had like um an idea that um, you know, me and my partner were traveling somewhere in Europe in Paris, we saw a new guy that we wanted to play with, then maybe there would be a scenario that we'd play, and then it'd be like, okay, person in pri in Paris, I will never see you again.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

I'm going to go to one night stand and then we'll lose. Exactly. Right. But like in my city where I live, I don't see that being a good recipe for success. Right. Yeah, that's just me. I'm nervous about things like that. Like I don't, I don't want to come back and like, you know, I get what you're saying. Yeah. I absolutely get what you're saying. And I also feel like in my own, and and this is a conversation for all of us to have. Like, I feel like um this time and age, a lot of people are just devicing things that take semi away from commitment. Commitments. Yeah. Accountability. Like they don't want me accountable for kings and then just because I personally would not do that. Um, babe, if you're watching this, know that. Should you bring up conversation about open relationship? That's the end. But with um, go ahead. I personally would not do open relationships. So I feel like people are just devising things that take them away from commitment. For commitment and accountability. Or do you think um it is very old-fashioned to be monogamous? I just let me just ask do you think it's nah, because if it works for you, that's fine. Is it saying like is he is I is he like old-fashioned? No, it's not old-fashioned because I believe um for me, if we get to the point where you tell me it's open, yeah, that we're done. Period. Because I see no reason why you have me, and you say, and okay, but hold on. I was going to ask this question first before I ask me that question. Can someone be um emotionally monogamous and physically open? No. That's a different within the state. That's we sound like it's the same thing. No, what's not like oh, okay, it sounds like no strength attach and no strength attached, is what you're saying. So emotionally. Physically like monogamous, like, okay, this is my partner, just me and sounds like that's actually this. But then like physically open, like yeah, open to yeah, socially open. And that's open relationships. I know people that do that, yeah. Okay, emotions are just for their for their partner. Yeah, just for the partner. Yeah, no, not for me, because as soon as we we lock that lip, I've fallen in love. I'll do that. But what's if I mean you love this person so much, and then they tell you, oh, let's get let's be open to sticky purse. Would you actually like no? It's it's it's a love would die, dear. Like, dear, dear, dear. It's not that the love would die, it's just not for me. Do you get what I mean? Yeah. Open relationship is not for me. Like, no, no matter how you try to devise it to make you look cute, to make you look better, to make me no, it's not for me. It's not for you. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like if if we're gonna be together lesbian together, if I wanna do that open relationship, I might as well just be single because it's just basically going around and sipping it a couple of things. Was it after five years, six years? I'm not doing that. And they say, oh, let's be open. Because why so so I think my next question would be, why why why open relationship? Why? Well, okay, so I had a discussion about this with my friends like a while ago. And the discussion was based around this idea um, is monogamy actually something that is doable?

SPEAKER_02 7:14

That is um like actually the question was is monogamy a scam? Because, you know, if you think about people, like we have certain things that you can't negotiate with.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

Like you have you have a sleep drive, you have a hunger drive, you have a kids drive. Exactly. And so these are biological drives. So you can't really negotiate with your hunger drive. You can't say, I'll be hungry today, but not tomorrow. Not tomorrow, true. Yeah, like I'll I'll be horny today, but not tomorrow. Like these things have to be expressed, right? Yeah. So uh I think people see it as a way to express their sexual drive without damaging the main relationship. But I mean, you can explain with your partner. So I I also want to throw your analogy back to you because a lot of times when you're hungry, that is when you eat a lot of times, that's when you get fat. Yeah. Well, depends depending on what you eat. Exactly. It depends on what you eat, that is what you need to eat right with one person. Exactly. So like if you eat too much, you get fat. If you like, if you can that that's where discipline comes in. There has to be everything. I just feel like, is are we saying so? Is it basically just sexual desires that you're that's making you open? Just sexual desires. That's the reason. Because if it's like, oh, um, let's find someone to spice up our relationship, that's where you bring in a third. But opening a relationship is when you're not emotionally involved with the person and you're just physically involved with the person. Like okay, so I think that you're talking about like being open on like an ongoing basis. Yeah. Yeah, but that is, yeah. That's a simple thing, yeah. That's a super slow. Yeah, and a lot of times when people, I've seen a lot of relationships that go on open relationships, that open your relationships, it never ends well. Well, I mean, I know some that have actually like that's still driving to now, actually. Good for them, but it's not gonna end well. That's all I'm telling you. Because it never ends well. Because I feel like at the point where you're having the thoughts of like open relationships, open relationship, there is something that is happening. You're not probably finding your partner attracted. I think relationships should consist of like attraction, um, um, um, being there for each other. The sex needs to be good. If the sex is not good, break it off. Because I think that is why some partners chit. That is why a lot of people step out of their relationship, and that is why this idea of open relationship comes out. In the moment when I've said it to like all the partners I've had, like at the moment in the moment you're thinking of, oh, I want to open a relationship, cut that shit off. Because I believe the love is there. The love might still be there. No, I believe the love might still be there. I just feel like you don't find me attractive anymore. Oh, it's and then someone comes with. I I think I had this conversation with someone and they were saying, Oh, imagine just eating burger every day. I'm like, so are you putting your partner as a meal? It's just something that you're supposed to do once in a while to enjoy yourself. To enjoy yourself. It's just pleasure.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

It's not would you rather your partner cheat on you like I would rather not?

SPEAKER_01 10:08

No, no, you have to tell you.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

How about we don't do that? Would you well let me first, would you rather your partner cheats on you? Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

Or until you I'm open and then tell you whatever they do, like would they have septics or something like that? Would you rather peek cheating than being open? Yeah. Let me cheat and then cheat and not tell me. And not tell you. Well, I'd rather be open and then tell you what they do. I guess the second one maybe like you're open and tell me, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 10:36

Okay. I would not do none. I guess I'd rather know than not know. Okay. Because I feel like not knowing. Oh, no, no, no. That's a little bit dangerous. For me, if I know, I'm gonna lose my sh. No, no, I I So you you pick cheating? Not not any. No, because if you know, you lose your shit. If I know, if I don't know, I will do that. But no, in this question. Because I will find out. Open relationship, I can I will not try it. Yeah. But if it's going to make your partner work out, I mean, do it. That's my thing. I mean. I think it works for the people that it works for, and it doesn't work for the people that it doesn't write. Yeah, so if it's going to make you guys work out, of course, do it. It just comes back to yourself. And if you love this, if you love this person not to let them go, yeah. I mean, you can, I mean, do it. But then have boundaries, though. Have boundaries. Have boundaries. Always make ground rules. You just don't have to. Just open the relationship and no ground rules. Is it a lot? You know, before I used to think, okay, it's just about oh, two persons, two persons. But I know I tried in this one today, you can be four person in relationships. Jesus. That's the crowd. They all know each other. They're all dating, like three of them, four of them, and they're all. When I heard that, I'm like, how? We're not all a monolith, right? So don't no judgment, right? No judgments. But I mean, two persons. I'm sure it works. Two persons cool, but having to have three persons in a relationship and then you guys are having a trouble. No, no, no. If you have trouble within you guys, like one person like this, everybody can go and do whatever they want to do. And then maybe you can you can ask one, so okay, I'm a better person to work to our house. Let's have sex together and they, okay, let's do it. That's Toronto with less than without judge. With judge. In this part, with judge. So I genuinely don't, I think, again, I I don't have issues with like troubles and all that. I mean, not like I am I have any moral compass. I'm just saying, like, I don't um Have you been in trouble? God forbid. But I don't Will you ever been in trouble? God forbid. Okay. One person alone is it is too much. Isn't that? But what have you been in trouble? No. Uh threesome, yes. Through no. Well, trouble is not threesome. No, trouble is when your relationship with those, like, oh okay, so no, I have not, no. Yeah. Oh, G. Have you watched? No, what have you been in? Have you gone to the sex parties, yeah? In Atlanta. You've lived a long time. I have a lot of stories, yeah. I love that. Do you want to share one? Um, not particularly. What's what what happens in the sex house stays in the sex house? What happens in the room stays in your room, mate? So me, I just I just want to also like ask the question like, is jealousy something bad or is it just a boundary?

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Um, okay, so jealousy is your okay, so how do I explain this?

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Okay. So depending on how your um uh self-esteem is set up, jealousy is basically a reaction that you know this other person is above me in some way. It means it it means so when you are jealous of something or someone, you automatically put them on a pedestal above you. No, so no, but it's because you're saying it's a content relationship, yeah. Yeah, you're talking about like someone coming onto your partner, right? Yeah. And you're just yeah, that person is not a threat, you're not gonna be jealous of them. Because you know, your partner's gonna shut that down. They will shut that shit down so quickly you won't have to worry about that. But is it bad to be jealous? It's not bad. It's just it's it's a natural emotion. It's like sadness or depression, anything. You will be jealous of something. It's just how you manage your jealousy. Right. Some people sit and they do their jealousy, they they work on it internally, or go out and drive their car into somebody else's. Sounds like Wilson. I would do it actually. I would do it. So I, you know, I I I had a huge problem with jealousy in my relationship in 2012, I was gonna say. Those last time you're in relationship? Uh no. Well, well, I'm in a relationship now, but I was in a relationship also. You were in a relationship now? Yeah. I wasn't supposed to say anything, but when was this? Because it's very brand new. Because I saw you in December and you were single. It's very brand new, yeah. Ah, December is single, so it's like weeks, not even months. It's weeks, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Identity. I didn't know. Because they have to be here. Yeah. Oh, you someone I've met before? No. Oh, okay. Where are they from? Put it together. They are from here. They're from Toronto. Like from Toronto, like is I think he's probably asking for the arrays. Oh, he he is Jamaican. Um, but he is born in Canada. Oh, love it. Love it. Yeah. But I've I've heard a lot of myths about Jamaicans. Although our critical producer is Jamaican. Um, before he stole me from the polygamous du. Well, no, hold on, no. I was talking about Leon. Leando is sound. Leando is, yeah, Leando is uh polygamous. Um, but uh our CP is Jamaican. I've heard a lot of things about Jamaicans. Oh, well, yeah, I heard. Oh my god. He's probably not gonna be the full because he is like, he's to me, he's he's like a Canadian person. Yeah, because they're born. They're born here, right? Yeah, they're born here. To be fair on Lisa, so Isaiah is Canadian. His parents are Jamaican, yeah. But he would probably have like the Jamaican blood. Danielle, watch out. So um Daniel, I know he wants to stone me from behind the camera, but yeah, Danielle, watch out again. Um, so uh so to me, I think jealousy is I I think my interpretation, yeah. I think it shows how much you care. Yes, it's okay. Yes, that's that's how I say it's okay to be jealous. If I if I like somebody and I see someone join close to them, uh huh, I will do everything to protect that person. And yes, I'll be and if they are like giving back the energy to that person, I'll be there for you. Yes. I'll lower one. Yeah. Because uh let me say something. I'll be like a tailor. I'm a big dick energy. Yes. Nothing should be. Literally or not literally. I mean naive. Um taking. Um so I would say um I see it as um as that you care. Because I've been in relationships that I've seen so many people on you, and like, oh, I can do without you. Exactly. Yeah. But when I like when I see something that is mine and someone is like almost taking ownership of it, I feel a certain way of like, oh, this is my air and my territory. Yeah. Uncle. Don't come clear. It is not like in a toxic way, I'm like going to punch you. But I feel in my heart of heart, yeah. I think if you're not jealous of one coming to the city, you don't care about that person. Okay, so that I get, yeah. I thought you were talking about like jealousy that takes over your like. No, relationship. Nah, relationship. Yeah, okay, yeah. So my question now that you guys have no answer is he a person, you feel possessive. Okay, yes. Is he is he is he is he good or is he a boundary?

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Um it can be both. It's just it's not bad and a boundary.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

You said is it good and a body? It can be a boundary, but it's also how you handle it, is good or bad. Yes, it's bad, exactly. Yes. And of course, I want my partner to be this over me. Period. Yes. I mean, that's show me that you care. Exactly. You know what? I've had it before. It's not it's not it's not as great as you, but think it would be. I had a partner who's very jealous of me, and I I found it very exhausting. It was the same. So where where were they from? He's from the Bahamas. Liendo. I'm profiling all of you. I'm dead. Yeah, but but but I think if it's healthy, I think it's good for you to be jealous.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

But hold on. Okay, I thought you said healthy jealousy.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

Yeah, like healthy jealousy is when you see something that is yours and you you're trying to protect it. You want to protect it in a good way. And say, oh, babe, I saw the way you. But say the partner in question is moving towards that person. Ah, it's goodbye now. Bye-bye. Well, that's different. But if someone is just talking to my personal or like I think that's fine. Like that's absolutely I have to manage my own jealousy. Like, exactly. When it managed your own jealousy, exactly, yes. You won't tell me you've never been jealous of someone like like so I'll tell you a stuff. Please, see. When I was in a relationship with my my first boyfriend in Canada, right? Right. He sent me a text message and said to me, Hey, I'm going to the club with my ex. Do you want to come with me? Oh no. Oh no. Okay, I'm gonna drive a car through that club. No, no, no. And he invited you. Oh no, the audacity. So that means they they planned already. No, I don't think he said planned, but no, they planned because he said, I'm going to this club with my ex. And then he asked, Woody. He had a follow up question. So it wasn't like as if maybe he planned to pick you up on the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a follow-up question. Go ahead. What did you do? Okay, so first of all. Tell me you dressed up. No, I I I you know when you jump like you ever seen a two-year-old jump up and down like I get up for like five minutes. Oh my god. I've never meant so angry in my entire life. Oh, then I calmed down. Mm-hmm. And um, because I know um he's always friendly with his exes. I've explained a bit before, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and so I I got dressed. I went downstairs. The ex was in the back seat. Got in the front seat. She gave you the place, back seat. I love that. So you know, we actually had a really nice time. Nice time. Oh, was it the two you did? It wasn't it wasn't as big as deal as I made. What did you do with some you did? Was that the to be some nice? Was that a nice time?

SPEAKER_05 20:19

That's not what it meant.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

It wasn't that nice of a time. But no. So question, would you be with someone that um that would still be in conversation with your ex? Especially if you know the way their relationship ended. Would I be in conversation with who? No, would you be in the one with someone that is still in contact with your ex? Oh, um, technically, yes. I guess I've already had that. Yeah. I mean, technology. Would you do that? Yeah, of course. I mean, it's not I fli I mean that we're no longer disaster than we can't talk anymore. No, so for me, it depends on how your relationship ended with our. Even if I don't want to know how it ended. I just feel like, like I said, me, I will trust you that's not you will not go back to your vomit. There's some exes that would be sending your partner. Oh, you remember how we were? You remember the note you sent to me? But that's your partner's job to shut that down. Exactly. That's not your work. As a matter of fact, you need to see how he shuts that down, actually. True. That's very important how he deals with that. Mm-hmm. Well, in every day. I'm so telling you something. Yes, so now let's move on to dilemma. So we have like a dilemma to dissect. Okay. I'm gonna rate this dilemma.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

And here goes the dilemma. How how how do you do like judging people? Switch yourself, one to ten. How do I judge people? Yeah. Do you go all out? Oh.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Are you conservative?

SPEAKER_03 21:44

Or do you where one is the lowest and ten is the highest? Yes. Probably five. Yeah. Yeah. In the middle. In the middle. Not that. Yeah. Not terrible. Work fast. I work. I'm I'm a lot better than I used to be. Yeah, because I know because I know when being in conversation back at Chukas, you're always like trying to be the middleman at the end of the day. Congeniality. Let me tell you something. Miss Goody Two She. Miss Congeniality. Nah, nah. With your hands like this. Yes, nah she. She's the one. Congenia. So yeah, we have a dilemma from an unknown person. It says, My cousin and I, both boys, have been having sex since ah! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. My cousin and I, both boys, hmm, have been having sex in second grade. Instance. Oh my god. Woo-hoo, stop going on those family holidays. My God. But actually, though. Oh my god. Let me let me let me know. Last judgment. Let's judge. Actually, though. You've done it before. No! Why are you cutting me? No, you can't cut in your cousin. Yeah. No, I'm suspecting you. Oh my god. My cousin and I, both boys, have been having sex in second grade. Every holiday we have a tradition of celebrating them at my grandma's, and often often since the passing of my granddad, this has been going on for seven years. What? Seven years. You've been having sex for seven years? That's not a decade, so this man has done it before.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

No, I'm just saying, like okay, let it continue.

SPEAKER_03 23:18

We live in different states, and we only see at this time of the special occasions. I think I'm in love with him. Hey. Hey. I'm in love. Continue. I think I'm in love with him, but I I know it's wrong. You know it's wrong. You know it's wrong. Okay. I'm genuinely confused on what I should do. It happened again this holiday. It doesn't feel the same with other guys I'm involved with. Are you are you mad? But the sex be good though, because I mean, if you have to I feel like Wilson has been. I did not expect it to say no, because trust me, I mean, he said it there. It's not as good as the other guys. He said he's in love with his cousin. It's emotionally attached to him. Actually, yeah. But that's crazy. But this don't have like biological siblings. What are you saying? First of all, that happens a lot more than you. Kanye West. Exactly. Kanye has been to that with his cousin for like years, but is it cousin a man? It is a man, yeah. Oh, but is it confirmed? He said it. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah. But he allegedly he took it. Allegedly, Kanye West. They say you do incests. So yeah. But you have shown that this naturally happened more TV.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Experimental.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

They experiment with who is around them. Who's around and then for seven years. If not because it's cousin, it has to be a good thing. Yeah, you haven't caused exactly. And then I think because also they're queer, it's very difficult. Because they feel safe around them, yes. I don't know if they will come out to each other. It's just like an experiment. Come out to each other, okay? No, like the way you said, like, you feel safe. There's no safety where you don't know each other's identity. You see what I'm saying? Uh. Two cousins are sleeping with each other. Yeah, like you say, like as though that they've come out to each other. Uh, what are they now doing for seven years? No, so it's just like Carter said, they probably were experimenting. It's not that they were like, oh, I like boys, I like boys. But I'm pretty sure, but this person is actually an aware, like, self-aware person. Because this they know it's wrong.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

They know it's wrong. So I'm pretty sure they've had that conversation.

SPEAKER_03 25:23

Well, you know, it's not a relationship you can like be open public about. So they So wait, is he bad? What so what what how irree the situation is? A young kid was experimenting with some. So the penis, the purpose, happened to be a cousin. Yeah. And then it says they live in different states, so meetings teach us. So whenever I see him, we experiment. And so that's not what happened for seven years. We think seven years, not seven years continuously. Yeah. But worse. Once worse per year, yeah, seven years in a row. Yeah. That's that's insane. And then they are where they are. But I fully expect that they'll meet other people. I don't think to me, it just seems like they can't, like, since since you said, They can't break free person. So I feel like they can break free from that person. Um, so this is my own take for you, sir. You need deliverance. Go to the River Nile. Is that what is that okay? You need to meet your pastor. They need to deliver you of spirit of incense. Because how are you seeing with your cousin? You are saying, you know it's wrong. I I you clocked it. Why why are you asking us? So, what are we supposed to do? Tell you not to do it again when you will still meet him next December, you see, and you will still do it. Uh-uh. You know it's wrong. I'm confused. So, what are we supposed to do? Well, that's a good question. So, uh, I I guess I'm not in charge of their orgasm, so uh whatever they want to do, whatever was for them, because yeah. I'm that's crazy to me though. But what do you want us to say? But you know, um most of you know for no you know funny thing, like if most queest stories actually they start from the way because there is no other example of what it looks like, what big. Especially for me as a Nigerian, I think this person is not a Nigerian because this has second grade. We don't use grade. Yeah, don't use B Nigerian, yes. Um for me as a Nigerian, I would relate to this, but not do with my cousin. Cousin. I feel bad for them because they're in this. They probably started way too young before they even understood what's in the future. Seven years down the line, now he's really getting nervous about like oh shit. Yeah, I'm doing exactly. So, you know, I hope it works out where they can keep it discreet until they move on. Keep what discreet? The sex? No, not the sex. That the fact that this has happened.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Okay, okay. So, and then hopefully they can move on with other people. That's my feeling.

SPEAKER_03 27:53

I hope I I think they should go see a therapist. You think so? Well, therapy always helps. No, but I mean this one needs to be. I mean, if you have to. I feel like No, because tell me, you he says he knows it's wrong. It might be better because future relationships might be an issue. You should go out to see what I'm saying. And and who knows? I might do these people might still be able to do that. And pretending to be straight. Well, regardless, it's not, it's it had to be a problem. They could still be pretending they're straight, and then they just keep finding themselves going back to each other.

SPEAKER_02 28:23

Going back to each other, true.

SPEAKER_03 28:25

Aye, aye. You see that therapist, about four. That's what you need. Not four. Four therapists. Yeah. I feel like when they are, um, because this might be happening because they're not really um, they've not come out to themselves like personally. They've not accepted themselves. Yeah. So when they finally accept them, yes, when they finally when they finally accept themselves and maybe okay, yes, I'm gay, I'm this, then they will clock out of it. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. So you think just by them saying because they're still hiding, they're still like in denial. Okay. So I feel like, I mean, that's the only time they can say, okay, be themselves when they are both together. So when they finally like come out to themselves personally, say, okay, this thing. Yeah. Yes. I feel like that's so whatever your name is, go and see a therapy. No, not see a therapist. First of all, I mean, she can actually give them this advice because you have the living experience. No, I've not at least that's one. I've been now seeing my cousin. But, anyways, I would say, in all like seriousness, I would say that you need to actually see a therapist. Because this is now become something that is mental. Your brain is wired to need and want this person. And whenever you try being with other people, you're not able to get the same pleasure you would get from your cousin. So that needs to be rewired in a way that's, I don't know, maybe you need to go to like a mental house or something. Yeah, because I think like it's if your cousin's sex is good. A regular therapist?

SPEAKER_01 29:54

If your cousin's sex is your cousin's sex is good though. Does Nikki know what to see somebody else?

SPEAKER_03 30:02

No, so nah yeah, that's he's a therapist. That's my um that's my own take. So let's move on to the um let us thing and let's let's let us come in, comment, curtain. So we have the segment where we say things that bugs us. Okay. Um, we call it let us thin. So you're basically just letting the audience or letting the people know that I don't like this. Stop doing it. So, do you have a steam that you want to let out? Um, do I have to go first? Yeah. I do have to go first. Okay. Oh, do you want us to go first so we can. Yeah, you're going right. Yeah, I can't. I know I have. I just want to show such one. Okay, so so I I think I have a problem with um people that have public relationships when they break up. When you people break up, uh, Christian, what's this guy's name? Christian, um Desmond. Desmond. When you both break up uh in when people are dating publicly, you rub your your your your fake relationship in our face. Ah, my husband is making lunch. My own guy is that was in years of their relationship. My husband. My husband is making lunch. My husband is in this. When you break up, let us know the tea. You will now come on. No, they did not say it. People were finding it out from the courts that were and for the things that were filed. They never said it. And the tea that they left, the the thing that they wrote like in the courts, it was very, you know, professional. It wasn't straight to the point. When people break up, let us know the tea. You will now come online and say, respect our privacy. Which privacy? Did you respect my privacy? No, but this one.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

When we were rubbing it to my face, this man said he clocked out first. Like he tweeted.

SPEAKER_03 31:34

No, I want to know the tea. Just like you will make breakfast and say, I'm putting the oil now, I'll put it, break it down. Not that you will say, Oh my god, we we it's stressful. Respect. I'm not respecting your privacy. You rub that shit in my face, make my make me feel like I'm not a no good single. You you need to tell me the tea when you break up in public. Thanks. That's my steam. Okay, now up to you. Um, my thing is celebrity worship.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

I am I I wish we could in 2020. Is um this dash.

SPEAKER_03 32:06

Me? Uh was what's your daddy's name again? Your daddy's name. Haristow. I don't worship them. I love I love people. I'm not like, oh my god. When I see Harry Stars.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

No, you can be a fan because I'm a fan of the family.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

I can fan people, I cannot go there and say, oh my God, I love you.

SPEAKER_04 32:23

No, no.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

But I saw you on Harry Starles Pool. You're saying daddy. I said daddy because yeah, that's my daddy. You know, get Papa. My father is dead. No, he is uh My father is alive and well. Sorry. I just say hi, Dad. You know, it's it's just a regular thing. I'm not worshipping him. When I see Aristotle, it will pass. I will not, I will not flinch. Yeah. I've been in I've been with a lot of celebrities for me to not flinch. Aristotle would not be the first person. It's just a human me just like eating cars flesh. Let's even let's let the fist to me continue. So, um, like like like what you said, like, but there's adults that will like start idol, fight, or carry on, yeah, do anything, overlook anything for celebrities or like Nicki Minaj, uh uh Leh's what are they called? Um the barbs. First of all, I don't want any smoke with the barbs if you're I want that smoke.

SPEAKER_04 33:15

You are mad.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

I'm not no, let me piggy piggyback. Nikki, if you if you're a barb and you're still supporting everything Nikki is doing.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

Even though the barbs are actually ashamed of her.

SPEAKER_03 33:25

No, they're not. No, like they're ashamed of her because what she's doing. Have you seen Twitter? Are you joking? The barb are like that. See, let her murder someone, let there be like video of that of her killing somebody. Even if it's like a fan's mom that she keeps you say, my god, this Nikki, she can't do no all of you. Yeah, how can you go on a platform and tell people be boys? Are you mad? You be a woman be be black for once in your life. When when you you are sitting on body body with Trump, all of you, fuck all of you. So I get you sorry. It's your scene. No, it's not from it. Because you just reminded me of Nikki. What you said. Mickey Bob. Go on. Whether it's Nikki or P. Diddy or P Diddy. Or Tyler Perry, who cares? Wait, do we have anything on Tybin? Well, uh, he's in court right now. For what? He has two lawsuits against him. Like sexual assault? Sexual assault. Well, I think um yeah. Well, I have I have a theory about that one. Yeah, see. Well, what I do think is them actually what just to cash out. What just to cash out? I think a lot of these people are dear, uh, because they know that it's not publicly gay, yes, and just come out to debunk this days because they it would in debunking would be. I think that's what he wants you to think. I think that's a good thing. That first might that first case is different than the second case. So I feel like one of them is fake and one of them is actually more authentic. Yeah. That's my feeling. That's my alleged feeling. I genuinely think it just saw like it jackpots. Yeah. I love Paris. But basically, he can tell them anything and wrap it up with religion, and then people will eat it up. Eat whatever he puts up. Yeah. So like think for yourself. Um I just want people to think for themselves. You know, like kind of like separate themselves a little bit from this from all these. Yeah. Yeah. I I That's how people like P Diddy get away because people like worship and worship as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. Yeah. But um I was Tyler Perry. I was. If you are watching this, come close. Were you Tyler Perry? You will not force a grown man to come out. If you are watching this, we know you. You will not come on. Come on out of that closet. It's very glass. You will not force a grown man to come out. A grown black man to come out, actually. But anyways, my own um let us team. You're sorry, you're done. Yeah. Yeah. You're done. Okay. We both did it. You're Caribbean, right? Of course the Caribbean. Yeah, it's of course not Caribbean. Under Caribbean basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes, trying to confirm. Yeah, Caribbean. People think we're not, but we have part of the Caribbean. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. So I have an issue with okay, not okay, not Caribbean um community actually. Specify. But um actually in. Because we have a lot of them before they stone you. No, not not not Caribbean community, actually. You know when um Toronto party planners are saying, um, I know because of, I mean, in Toronto, most of all the study class are mostly Caribbeans. Right. And then they'll put a flyer and they'll tell you, oh, we're doing a party today, and then we're going to have so car, we're going to have Ama Piano, we're going to have Afrobeat, we're going to have all genres of music. Yeah. And then when you finally go to that place, it's just Jamaican sounds. From head to toe. Why did I buy tickets? Finally too. The only look. Finally too. That's their song that they get. The only Afrobeats they will they will play. Last, last. Baby, calm down. Rhema. Or they'll say e they rush. No, they might not.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

They might not eat the rush now because they rush for them.

SPEAKER_03 37:01

But why will you put in your flyer that your you have soccer, you have a piano, and then out of 10 songs, 10 DJs, only one on a boy, Rema, and that's all. That's all. And then you go, put your back in it. Put your back in. Why not in it? Put your back. They didn't say how many.

SPEAKER_01 37:19

No, because that's that's why I got the tickets. I mean, because I feel like the representation matters. Because if you if if there's soccer, blink, there should be. Yeah, I think that is car. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 37:28

Don't if you don't know, you don't put it on the top.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

Don't use my own um country music to lure me to your party. If it's soccer, just play soccer ultra. I have a friend that whenever I see any of those participants, people like, no, they will play soccer. I'm not buying. I mean, I'm becoming to be like that also, because if I see any passive, like, oh, there's soccer, there is this.

SPEAKER_03 37:45

Maybe it's not owned by even Nigerians are beginning to do that, whereby they will only play soccer music because I mean, I mean, I will not blame them, Sha, because most of all these people that support you are mostly Jamaicans. So you want to play their song because even Nigerians don't support Nigerians. But even at that, even at that, if you're going to say you have soccer, I'm a pino, give us because I mean, I don't want to come and stay three hours standing and I'm just dancing to breaking my bath. I want to I want to sing to um Thames. I want to sing to um um yeah Fireboy. I want to sing to like all these our Nigerian artists, not just soccer from beginning to the end. But again, I would also try not to like say that your point is wrong. I if I was um the one doing that event and I saw that like we have like the population is majorly Jamaican. Regardless of the population if you're Jamaican, because it's on your flyer, regardless. Because I mean this this for all of them. They played three Nigerian songs, baby calm down, you have calm down. Last last if last last play is for you. It might be a DJ thing too. It might be that DJ. Yeah, maybe the DJ is Jamaican. And maybe they did not give the DJ like a proper break. But regardless, that's like is it uh something that happened constantly or just constantly? Of course, GR10 passes, of course, Genesis. GR10 passes like oh nobody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's outside. You don't attend, so you cannot be outside. But but you can release what I'm saying around. Yes, absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will not go and buy I will not come and buy a $50 ticket. I I know what I know what you're talking about. It's just that I'm on the Caribbean side, so I always stand in paper. I will not come and buy a $50 ticket and then your planes are. I think there are mostly Caribbeans in in Canada. Most um black people, the most black people are Caribbeans in Canada. I think so. Even though. I don't know, actually. I think so. Yeah. No, you can say Toronto, I say. In Toronto, Toronto, Toronto. Okay, but I still feel the same. But it is because I know I could tell a Caribbean when it speaks. Yeah. Yeah. You get they're everywhere. You guys are like, Yeah, like coronavirus. They're like ants. You multiply. Yes. Go full-time multiply. Okay, what does leave?

SPEAKER_01 39:58

But then you guys are stuck, you love what people by yourself.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

But oh we can handle them.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

Did actually, that's my own little thing. Please, if you're going to put on your flyer that you have to come and give us just one approbate and then you're off, please. Because most of us that we are dead, most of that thing.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

I know the funny thing, whenever they play all those Nigerian songs, the crowd just go, yes, like people want it. The wedding card, yeah. I think maybe it's a party trick for them. It could be. When they say, Oh, they're doing one night for a long time. They say, let us try what's it? And they go, woo! Okay, and then again, again. Like, I think it might be a party trick. I'm anyways, I'm just a host to my human. I'm a producer that knows his onions, you know. I can see through the lens. It could be a party trick.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Okay, I hear you.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

But even at that, come here, um, before you go, we have this question that we want to put to you, and I want you to like be very honest. Okay. So there is a song of um Olivia D that Juke came out recently, and the song says, um, um, how does it feel to hurt um your friend, let alone the one you love? So my question to you, our question to you is which is gonna hurt more? Is he your friend? If is it you hurting your friend or your or you hurting your partner? Which one is gonna hurt you more? So, how long have I been together with my partner? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Which one is gonna hurt you most? Like, how can I hurt this friend of mine? Your partner or your friend? So which one is gonna hurt the most? Probably the friend, I would say. Because my friendships outlast all my relationships. All your relationships. So probably my friendship, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:53

Hot to the more, right?

SPEAKER_03 41:56

Yeah. I think both of us agree on that. Yeah, yes. I think we spoke about this. Yes, because I agree with me. I feel before um we become partners, you have friends. No, that's you no, you try to be political. We'll see, sorry, say before you become partners, you have friends first. No, all the time. No, once he leaves that friend, no, no, no, it becomes a partner. No, no, that's no, it's not that one. I'm saying that's why I would choose friends than my because of course friends come first. Right. And then partner. I can always have a partner. I can always go back. You know what I'm saying? So friends should be more. Yeah. So yeah, and that's the end of the episode. Thank you so much for coming. Lovely having a conversation with you. So now Wilson, I will leave you to close the show. Anyways, thank you so much for watching. Um, please don't forget to sign us to dilemmas at Kylieonfiltered at gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous. And of course, if you want to, you know, sign into our DM, show us who you are. You can come into our dm or she's dm. Don't go to my dm. Come to my dm, actually. I will welcome you guys. Come to my dm, type that dilemmas, and of course, um, we'll see you in our next episode.

SPEAKER_04 43:00

Thank you so much, Carotine. Everyone say thank you, Carotin, in the comments.

SPEAKER_03 43:04

Thank you, Caroline. Okay, alright. Have a good one. Bye.

SPEAKER_04 43:11

We will drop. We will stay talking. Who are we gonna take? This is okay.