Season 2, Episode 5: Insight on The Inner Signal

This is a deep conversation about:

•  emotional overstimulation, 
•  intuition and inner clarity, 
•  social media and psychological noise, 
•  why silence feels uncomfortable, 
•  emotional fragmentation, 
•  and how people begin reconnecting with themselves again. 

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, emotionally distant, disconnected from your purpose, or exhausted from constantly trying to keep up, this episode will feel like a deep exhale.

Because maybe you are not lost.

Maybe the signal just became quieter than the noise.

✨ Inside Becoming Irresistible, we go deeper into identity, emotional clarity, magnetism, self-trust, purpose alignment, confidence, and building a deeply connected life.

#SelfAwareness #EmotionalHealing #Purpose #InnerPeace #Overthinking #Mindset #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIntelligence #BecomingIrresistible #SelfDiscovery #HealingJourney #LifeAlignment #Podcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:15

Welcome back to Becoming Irresistible. On this episode, we're going to talk about some of the decisions that are facing high school seniors and juniors right now. And that is what is the career path after high school? You know, we ask 17 and 18-year-olds to make some of the biggest financial and also identity decisions of their entire lives. And most of them don't know who they are at that moment in time. And then we act really surprised when 28-year-olds come to us burned out, drowning in debt, trying to change careers, or feeling depressed, confused, or feeling like they failed. And I've been thinking about this for a long time because I've watched people go to college for the wrong reasons, and I've watched people skip college for the wrong reasons. And I've watched incredibly smart people end up extremely trapped in their career choices. But I've also watched people who are underestimated and who didn't go to college build really beautiful lives. I think that part of the problem is we keep forcing people into one narrow definition of success. Now, there was a time where college was the only way to get the information you needed in order to be good at what you did. But that's no longer true. Not in this global economy, not in this time of AI and other technology tools. We have access to information in ways we never had before. So we no longer have to define success as you're either smart and college-bound or less successful, because that's just not true anymore. There are people who are making six figures who are welding pipes. And there are entrepreneurs with no degree building incredibly successful companies. There are college graduates who are making $40,000 a year, but they have $200,000 of debt. And there are brilliant, brilliant, talented artists who are suffocating in corporate jobs. There are people who are in fields that own their own business and have freedom that no office worker will ever experience. But there are also careers where college absolutely matters. Some of those careers, like lawyer, you absolutely have to go to college. There's no shortcut around it. And you're going to school for a very long time. What concerns me is we've stopped really teaching people to think about the decision. And we've automatically associated college with status or college as the right thing to do, uh, college as meaning you're intelligent. And none of those things are necessarily true. And again, sometimes it's absolutely the right decision, but sometimes it's not. But we should definitely do more than just teach status. Status involves components of fear, prestige, comparison, image, but not alignment. And we need to teach alignment more than we need to teach status. Most kids at that age are not choosing a career. They're choosing approval. Sometimes that approval is parental approval, but sometimes it's social status. Sometimes it's fear, and sometimes it's just survival. Sometimes it's because they don't know what else to do. Sometimes it's the pressure to prove that they're intelligent. And honestly, our current school systems unintentionally reinforce this. You get praised for top grades, you get praised for AP classes, you get praised for acceptance letters. But nobody sits down and asks, what kind of life do you really want? Do you need freedom? Do you want stability? Do you hate fluorescent lights and cubicles? Do you like working with your hands? Do you want a family-centered life? Do you like people? Do you hate people? Do you want to call the shots? Do you need creative expression in your career? Can you tolerate repetitive tasks? Do you need to be able to move in your job, your career? Can you sit still for long periods of time? These are all things that matter, but we pretend that they don't. We treat career choices like IQ tests instead of a life compatibility test, which is really what we need to do. And it's a huge mistake. Because some people die inside, trapped in the careers that they were encouraged or praised into. I think this is really one of the most dangerous things that our culture is encouraging in a time where this is an outdated modality. Now, if everyone claps for your career choice, it's easier to ignore whether or not you're really happy. But oftentimes people will realize it, except it may take them 10 or 15 or even 20 years, because when there's nobody else around to give you that approval, to reinforce that your decision was good, the only person you're listening to now is yourself. And that voice will tell you the truth, regardless of what you want to pretend your feelings are. Now, listen, I am totally for high achievement. That's what our podcast is about. I've worked very hard, extremely hard. I've gone to top prestigious universities, but there are pros and there are cons. Some people a hundred percent should go to college. Some people are going for the wrong reasons. Now I know some of your parents out there are sitting here thinking, I don't want to tell my my child that they have an option to not go to college. Well, I just want you to think about something. Some people feel trapped in their career because they've invested way too much time, energy, money into getting there. And then when they finally decide that they should leave, it feels like they're going to die. And that's not because they're weak. It's because they're human beings who have a normal human condition of wanting their investment to work out. The more you suffer for something, the harder it becomes to leave it. And that's why some people stay in miserable jobs, in miserable relationships, in miserable systems. Because admitting you wasted time, energy, effort in misalignment feels terrifying because now you feel like you have to start over. But it's not starting over, it's just becoming aligned with what it is you really need to do. One of the biggest things I feel like teenagers should learn about is financial literacy. We don't teach teenagers about realities of debt. We talk about big dreams, we talk about making things happen, find a way, but we don't talk enough about the math. And it matters. It matters a lot when you're choosing a career, and it matters a lot in your decisions about college or not or not going to college or what type of college you go to. Now, somebody can borrow $200,000 and get an Ivy League education, but that decision will follow them for years, maybe decades. It doesn't mean that the degree or the decision is wrong, but the numbers matter. Income, the loan structure, the job demand, burnout risk, geographic flexibility, all these things we need to consider carefully. A lot of people choose their career and then discover the economics afterwards. That's backwards of what we should be doing. Honestly, trade schools deserve a lot more respect because these are places where electricians, plumbers, mechanics, HVAC technicians, welders, they all learn their trade. And they typically come out a lot more financially stable earlier than many college graduates. And when you look at the cost of investment loss, actually sometimes those decisions make more financial sense. But on top of that, at this time, when AI is now taking over a lot of intellectual work, these real hands-on jobs may be the nouveau rich of the future. Things that AI can't substitute for. And so we need to stop talking about these careers like they are somehow lesser. They are not lesser. In fact, our modern society still depends on them. And you'll notice this when something breaks. Now you could ask your AI, but your AI is not going to fix the plumbing for you. So that person, a good technician, they become really valuable. And anyone who is a mature adult who's dealt with real life situations knows this. When you find a good person who can do difficult things, you do not give them up easily. And you go to them immediately without calling anyone else, because once you've established trust in them, that becomes your go-to person. So a lot of these careers are so difficult to outsource. You need them. You still need repairs. You still need skill labor. And you need people who can actually physically do things in the real world. So even sometimes when you might associate the lesser status, when that becomes your problem, that person becomes the most important person in your life. Most schools encourage only one type of intelligence. And people who don't fit that type of intelligence may grow up thinking that they're less than capable. But there's many different types of intelligence. And that's why IQ tests are not really great measures for people, because there's many types of IQ. There are people who can build things very easily. There are people who can locate things and understand geography with amazing skill and talent. And that person, by the way, is not me, okay? But there are people who can read human emotion instantly, and that's one of my skills. There are people who can negotiate. There are people who are able to build companies. There are people who are great at collaboration. There are people who are great at creating art. There are people who can identify and solve problems. And people who are great leaders. These are all different types of intelligence. And sometimes the classrooms are not where those abilities are highlighted. But that doesn't mean these people are failures or not smart. It's just that they have a different lane of intelligence than what is traditionally tested for. I truly believe every single person has a special genius. They just have to find it. And if you try to force that person into an environment that they don't match with, that's what causes this misalignment. The problem is we're trying to apply our own standards and rules to a person who operates by a different set of standards and rules. So it's our job as educators, as parents, to encourage people to find their own genius and to encourage them down the right path for that genius. Now I want to say something very important because right now a lot of people are leaning into this and thinking I'm saying that college is not useful anymore. And that's not true. College is absolutely critical when you have certain fields or certain types of training that is required, such as some of, but not inclusive of everything. I'm going to list some examples. For engineering, it matters. For medicine, it matters. For law, it matters. For research, it absolutely matters if you're going into an academic research position, which university, including what type of name and prestige that university has, it absolutely matters. Architecture matters. Why does it matter in these types of fields? Number one, because legally you can't practice certain fields without a formal education. Number two, because theory is theory, but real life application doesn't always match what is taught in books. And that's why these fields, it's very important to go to college to get the real life advice, experience from people who've done it, who've been there, who know what they're talking about. Not just technology or what's printed online, because that doesn't always give you the real life experience. That gives you the theoretical, ideal situations, oftentimes. These fields that I'm talking about are ones where deep training matters and credentials matter. Even if you decide college is necessary for your path, you should think strategically about it. Some degrees produce dramatically different results than others. Some schools will produce different networking opportunities. And one of the biggest misconceptions I had when I was growing up was that network wasn't important if you were good at what you did. And that's not true. It is absolutely important who you're around, because most opportunities still come from the people you know, not from what you've done, but from who you know. And then, yes, your work will speak for itself, and the people who you come in contact with will recognize your work. But to get those introductions, to get your foot into those doors, it's most often through someone you know. And so certain opportunities, it absolutely matters what environment you're in. So it really depends on what your goals are, what your personal genius is, what type of lifestyle you want. The same path could help one individual and it can hurt another one. And that's what I really want to emphasize: that there's no one right answer here. College is not good or bad. College is right for certain people trying to achieve certain things. And college may not be right for certain people trying to achieve other certain things. You have to make a determination of what it is you're trying to achieve and with what skills and tools, and how much your environment is going to impact those goals and how much it's going to enhance your skills and tools. I think a lot of people are tired because they're just following along with what everybody else is telling them to do. Go to school, get good grades, get into college, get a job, buy things, and repeat. And then they wake up one day and realize it's not them that designed their own life. It was someone else. And, you know, I just went to see The Devil Wears Prada 2. And I remember that line from the movie where she says, You think you actually chose the outfit you're wearing? No, it was chosen for you by someone else, except you're not aware enough to realize it. And so I don't want this happening to our young people today. I want them to understand and be aware that their life is their own design. Yes, as parents, we should be there to encourage and help them to design it, understanding the pitfalls and the decisions that need to be considered, but we can't do that from the lens of our own skills, abilities, and dreams. We have to consider their skills, abilities, and dreams alongside of the current landscape in today's world. And that includes technology, that includes the global economy, that includes cultural and ethnic limitations, that includes forecasting for the future. All of these things are issues that, as older adults that are more wise than our youngsters, we need to propose to them and say, have you thought about this? Here's the current research, here's what probably will happen in 5, 10, 15 years, here's what might be a good idea for you to consider doing. But we need to take into account what their dreams, wishes, and abilities are before we lock them into doing something just because we think it's the best for them. Have you ever had someone tell you, you know, if I was you, I'd do this? Well, it's easy for people to say that until they've actually been in your shoes and understand what it is that you're dealing with and what resources you have to use in your life. And so, and we've all been guilty of this, telling someone that's easy to do, or this is what you should do, and that's the right thing. But when it comes down to it, until you know what it's like to be them in their own body, walking through their life with their past experiences, you cannot understand what it is to make the right decision for them. There is no right decision from another person. Right decisions are the ones that will take a person towards their own irresistible life. And understanding the components of that will help you make those decisions. And that's what we teach in our programs. Now, I also want to talk about entrepreneurship. I'm a big proponent of entrepreneurship. And social media is really promoting this a lot. But I'm going to be honest with you, not everyone should be an entrepreneur. Some people genuinely work better with structure, with leadership from others, with predictability, with a steady income. And it's okay. Some people don't want to deal with running a business. It can be stressful. There are a lot of pros to it, a lot, but there's also a lot of cost to that. Irregular income, a lot of risk, sometimes isolation from having to work more hours, sometimes isolation from people not understanding what it is you're trying to do. You probably will live with a lot of uncertainty and having to make a lot more decisions than a person working in a job as an employee. A lot of people fantasize about being an entrepreneur, and you should definitely consider it because it can really help you financially if you're built for that. And if you're built for that, it can be a really great decision. But remember that when you hear about successful entrepreneurs or businessmen, you're just hearing about the success stories and the highlights. You're not hearing about the cost that it took to get there, the tax stress and responsibility, the instability, the often startup costs that may have taken people years to build on. Inconsistent cash flow, legal risks, and stress. Some people are not suited for that or don't have the bandwidth for that. If you're raising children and trying to be successful, there's going to be a cost somewhere. And oftentimes it's a cost to that person's health. So not everyone should just try to be an entrepreneur because everyone says it's something to do. You should do it because you have a passion for it or you see the benefit in it, and it aligns with your bigger goals. Just because I said not everybody should be an entrepreneur or go to college. I just want to clarify that there is no universal perfect path. I think what most people really need and want is stability. They want to feel stable in their life, to be able to support their lifestyle, not having to think about making a paycheck day to day, and also feeling some sense of fulfillment in what they're doing. Remember, you are not only your career, you are also your relationships, your health, your creativity, your peace of mind, your ability to enjoy your own life. And I can guarantee you that if you are experiencing those things in the career that Have, you're going to end up becoming psychologically exhausted. And that's when everything will blow up in your face. And that's what I want parents to really listen to. Sometimes a child or a young adult is fighting against you because even though they can't articulate themselves, they feel the mismatch in their bodies. And so it's really important to listen to them. And if you can't understand why they're reeling against your recommendation, then get curious. Start asking questions. What about it do you not like? Why do you feel like this is something you don't want to do? And when you start to get curious, you're going to learn a lot more about your child, and you're going to learn a lot more about where their alignment really is. Sometimes a child who has to sit at a desk for eight hours needs to be in a field where they can move, where they can get their hands on things, where they are involved physically. Sometimes a child who doesn't want to memorize things can be brilliant at strategy. I was one of those kids who I hated history because we had to memorize dates and dates and dates. My intelligence lies in patterns, not in memorization. And it took me a very long time to understand this. I'm not saying that's not important. We need people who know all the dates. But we also need people who can construct patterns and systems. When you realize where your genius lies, you can really serve the world in special ways. So remember, don't reduce your child's worth only to their academic performance. And if they don't want to go to college or they're struggling with that idea, start to ask a lot of questions. What I do tell kids about school and getting grades, good grades, is that I always encourage you to get the best grades you can. Why? Because getting a bad grade doesn't mean your life is over. You can still find a way towards your goals and your dreams. But when you get a bad grade, it closes some doors. So the more good grades you get, the more doors are open for you and the easier it is. And that's how I see grades. And that's how I try to explain why it's important to get good grades in school. Because at that age, sometimes it's hard to know what opportunities you want to pursue later. And so the more doors you close on yourself, the harder it becomes when you finally do realize it. Having open doors with good grades helps you no matter what path you're trying to go down. I also encourage parents to ask their young adults, what is this debt burden to pursue this education or training going to require for the future person that's going to be existing? Not just, can I get my hands on the money? It's a very different question. Debt is always pressure, added pressure. And that changes your choices, your freedoms, and your relationships. Where you might live, what jobs you can leave, what kind of risks you can take, whether you can work less or not. And some people leverage their future for a certificate that may not help them do anything in their future life. And so it deserves some deeper evaluation. Can you handle debt at the level you're considering? Now, you don't have to have everything figured out at age 17 or 18. That would be impossible for most people. Most of us don't have a clue about what we really want at that age. But you do need some level of direction. Again, if you don't have any idea or direction, then I encourage you to join our career pathway to listen to our talks about passion and purpose because it really will help you get some ideas about what direction to go. And that's all you really need is a good direction to start out with. Not everything perfectly planned. Changing pathways is not a failure, but moving away from your irresistible life is the thing we don't want to do. So I encourage you to get an understanding of components that really help you to be happy and successful, and then try to move your direction closer toward that as you progress in your life. Remember, there are pros and cons to everything. There's the trade school graduate that has a lucrative profession, but doesn't get the status and respect that maybe an engineer or doctor might get. But the doctor and engineer, they may get the debt, lawsuits, burnout, exhaustion, and feeling unstable at times. So there are trade-offs with all sorts of careers. And what you need to think about is is this a career I can feel proud of? I can feel supports my lifestyle, and that I can handle the cost that it's going to require for me to be involved with that career. I know a lot of high-level professionals who are making amazing money, but who are just exhausted and just can't wait to be done with their career or retire and don't know why they got into their career in the first place. And yet they're trapped in it because of their student loans, because of their debts, because of the choices they made before. I want you to go to where your education will be aligned to the lifestyle and life you're building. And also, I just want to say these comments because even though people know them internally, sometimes it really helps to hear them out loud. Your worth is not determined by whether you attend a prestigious university. Your intelligence is not determined by whether you thrive in the classroom. Your future is not over because you made a B or a C or even a D. And your future is not over just because you choose a different path than other people. And parents, please, I really beg you, do not project your own unfinished dreams, fears, concerns onto your children. Advise them, encourage them, support them. But do not project onto them your life and your choices. Help them to think more wisely. Help them to ask better questions of themselves. Help them to understand the global landscape better. But allow them to make the decisions for themselves that they can live with and respect as their own decisions. So if they do experience failure at some point, you're not the one that they blame for it. Instead, teach them that their failures are pathways to success. And they can understand that even if they make a wrong choice now, that you'll be there to support them as a course correct towards their irresistible life. Teach them about financial literacy. We're going to have some podcast trainings here about financial literacy for adults and for young adults. We've already done one podcast about setting your child up for the future financially. So do listen to that if you haven't. But do not teach them that love, self-worth, and dignity are conditional on having a high status career. I know for a fact, because I know these people. I know that some of the most successful people are also some of the most miserable. And some happiest people in the world you'll never see on a social media post. So maybe the real goal is not building something that seems impressive, but that really is a life where you don't mind waking up every day and going to that job. It's part of the reason why I started this whole program, is because I was missing this part, the part of helping other people to understand what will lead to a better life, a better lifestyle, happier, more successful, more fulfilling. And so that's why I started doing this podcast and why we I started the programs that I've created. Now, if you've can think of someone who would benefit from what I've talked about or said in this podcast, then go ahead and share this with them. And if you have any thoughts or comments, feel free to comment about it. And feel free to comment about other topics you want to hear about, or maybe some of the things you've learned about in regards to college landscapes. I learned that college transfers are sometimes a cost-effective way to pursue an education where you graduate from a prestigious school, but maybe don't want to accumulate the cost burden with going to a traditional school for the total time of the degree, going to a community college first, and then transferring in with a school system that already has a known track in place. That is another option. And also, I want to say trade schools are absolutely respectable decisions at this time. If you know it's what you want to do. Getting the most experience you can in the field that you want to work in is the goal for everyone. So if you know you want to be an electrician, go get that experience. If you aren't going to get it in a traditional college, get it at a trade school. Don't worry about what everybody else thinks. Do the thing that's going to make you the best at what you want to do. Similarly, if you want to be a researcher in science, then consider the top schools in those fields with the best names linked to them. Because in research, names, prestige, university, it matters. So consider what you're trying to do and what's going to help you get there, versus saying, oh, I need to prove that I'm intelligent, getting an Ivy League degree. Get the experience you need to make yourself the best in your area of expertise. Now, next week I'm going to talk about why smart people still make bad decisions. So tune in for that because it's going to help you again understand how to not fall into that trap by understanding why people do fall into that trap. So I will see you back on the next podcast. Again, I hope that this is helping you. The goal is to help you create your own irresistible life. And I just want to see everybody have the best life that they can because you know how it is when you're around a person when they're miserable and suffering in their life. Yeah, it's not fun. Okay, so making your life a better life makes everyone's life a better life. So it's really important to me. It's my mission, one person at a time, to create an irresistible world by helping each person create their own irresistible life. So we'll see you back next week. And until then, stay irresistible.