Breaking The Savior Loop And Becoming Free

If you’ve ever felt like the “strong one” who holds everyone together, there’s a hidden cost you might not be naming: the hero role can turn into victim energy. Katie and Breana pull the thread on saviorism, over-responsibility, and the way empathy can quietly become control. When we try to prevent other people’s pain, we end up exhausted, resentful, and convinced we’re failing, even when our self-worth is actually intact.

We get honest about what choosing yourself really looks like when you love people fiercely. Sometimes it is boundaries. Sometimes it is unplugging without explaining. Sometimes it is letting the body lead through tears, sunlight, nature, or simple routines that calm the nervous system. We talk about the relief that comes from accepting the hard truth: you can support someone without managing their healing, and you can trust that they have access to their own wisdom.

We also bring in astrology as a grounded tool for perspective, a kind of life manual that explains why old lessons circle back. When you can see a pattern as a deeper spiral instead of a setback, it becomes easier to release perfectionism and commit to a new identity that protects your peace. If you’re navigating codependency patterns, healer burnout, or the pressure of being needed, you’ll leave with practical self-care ideas and a clear journal prompt to start living differently.

Subscribe for more intuitive conversations, share this with the friend who over-gives, and leave a review if it helps you breathe a little easier. What’s one way you’re choosing yourself this week?

***Disclaimer: This podcast is a space for storytelling, intuitive insight, and shared experiences with Spirit. The content provided is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice.

We are not acting as licensed professionals, and nothing shared here should be taken as a substitute for professional care or guidance. Always seek the support of a qualified provider for your individual needs.

By listening, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own choices, interpretations, and actions.

Transcript

Welcome And Quick Disclaimer

SPEAKER_02 0:00

This podcast is a space for shared stories, intuitive insight, and connection with spirit. Everything we offer is from our personal experience and perspective. It's not medical, psychological, or professional advice. Please use your own discernment and seek support from a qualified professional when needed.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Welcome back to a whispered thread podcast. On today's episode, Katie and I were going over messages that we received on what topics you wanted to know about, what you wanted to hear about, and we love them all. There was one topic that we both didn't want to talk about, and we knew this is the one we get to talk about. We get a lean into it. And as we were talking about these things, we kind of noticed like we weren't recording, so you're going to be in mid-session of this because we realized, yeah, this is the way the whole podcast is going. We're going to be talking about identity, we're going to be talking about choosing our piece, how we do

The Hero And Victim Loop

SPEAKER_00 1:05

it. So hop on in to our mid-combo.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

When you are a hero, meaning I'm going to save everybody. I'm going to like protect everybody. I'm going to make sure everybody's okay. I'm going to do what I can. When you are the hero, the opposite side of that coin is the victim. And so inevitably, a part of us becomes a victim to that save your energy, right? To like, oh now I have no time for me. I don't have any energy for myself. I'm exhausted. Like what I wrote in my in my notes here, what I'm looking at is it kind of makes a little bit more sense. Um, trying to save everyone else inevitably puts me in victim mode because I'm last and I feel it. I'm carrying the weight of the world. It all feels like victim energy because there's nothing I can do. So then I start feeling that basically that victim in all areas of my life. And then that creates more victim, and it's just a loop. And I said, I'm not trying to play victim, I'm actually trying to play the hero, and inevitably the victim gets activated.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

And it's two sides of the coin. Well, because there's a dark, well, not dark, but a shadow side and then a light side. Which makes sense. Yeah, how do you integrate it?

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Yeah, right. The light is, oh, I'm the hero, I'm the savior. This is all coming from love. It's coming from a desire for people to not suffer. And then the shadow is now the victim.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Yeah. And now all of a sudden I feel I feel like some of the things that were coming up for me is like I felt um picked on in a way like um I was picking on myself, trying to take responsibility for everyone. And that was putting me in like this victim energy that I can't, I'm just drowning in all of this stuff. I need to save everybody, but I didn't realize I was trying to save everybody. So I'm still trying to process it in a way to talk about it of like what was actually going on.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

You know what's so funny is that's literally like I had this conversation this morning with myself where it was like, okay, cool. You know what? I quote unquote trapped myself in this situation and didn't care because I would do it regardless, anyways, for anyone. But now I'm like, this is how things are rolling out, this is how things are playing. Cool. So you're telling me that I trapped myself, victim of putting myself in this little box, not experiencing life the way that I should have experienced. I was so I was so upset. I'm like, I'm a Sagittarius rising, I should have traveled, I should have done this, I should have gone and done all those things that I always wanted to do, yet I didn't. Because what did I do? I was there for you. And in a moment that I needed you to back me up, where were you?

unknown 4:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Fuck this. And then it's like I started like, I'm like, oh my god, Brianna, stop, stop it. You know none of this is true. Why are you telling yourself this? Because you would have done it anyways. Yeah. I never liked to party. I never liked to drink. I never, I would have never done those things regardless. But in that moment, I told myself, you could have done all these things, you could have danced on a bar, you could have, it's like I would have never fucking did that.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you totally get it. It's like if this one side, you're the savior, the hero, the taking responsibility, I've got this, I'll I'll help you understand it. I will help your heart, I will save your heart. Please don't hurt. I've got this. And then inevitably that other side is like the victim comes out.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

That's what I was really like looking at because I was struggling with like self-worth stuff was coming up. And it what what it what happened is I was like, wait a minute, this isn't self-worth. I don't want anyone to hurt. That's what this is. I'm trying to save everybody from their own lessons, from their own pain. And so somehow my self-worth was coming up as far as like um I was feeling bad about things. I was feeling bad, feeling not good enough. And I was like, but but that's not true. I feel good enough. I know my I know my value, I know my worth. This isn't worthiness. And that was when I realized, oh my gosh, this is a savior complex, once again. And somehow by taking responsibility for their pain, I fall short. And then, right? Because you can't save everybody, you can't fix everybody. So then I fall short, and then I start thinking about how I'm falling short, and that's not even the problem. The problem is that I can't save everybody. Self-judgments that were stemming from wanting to save people.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

But okay, don't you think that it is harder for people who do feel like we do to not want to help them because we can see the patterns, we can recognize what is happening. Plus, on top of it, we're feeling everything that they're feeling on top of our own. So it is so easy for us to get into that loop, right? Until we eventually just get tired of the loop.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Yeah. And then we're actually exhausted. We haven't had time to even think about ourselves. We've been thinking about everybody else. And that was the thing I was looking at too. Is like, why do I why am I spending so much time thinking about all these other people's problems? And it is because of that. Like, well, I have access to spirit. Well, so do they though. So do they.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Yeah, they're just not doing it. Or they only do it at their inconvenience, you know, like, oh, it's convenient for me to tap in right now because I feel you disconnecting. So let's tap in and see what's going on. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's not do that.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

Yeah. Or they're not ready yet. That's the other thing that I think is a huge thing that I have to look at is just because I can see it doesn't

When Empathy Turns Into Control

SPEAKER_02 7:15

mean they're ready to see it. And so I can spend a lot of time thinking about solutions for them and offering solutions, and they'll hear me, but not really hear me. And then they end up inevitably end up in pain. And then I feel like I've done something wrong somehow. So taking responsibility for others is like a huge pattern that's showing up, and that's stealing my peace right now.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

Big time. Well, honestly, I feel like I'm kind of stealing my own peace in a way, too. Yeah. By just allowing it to happen, by allowing myself to be put back in these loops. It's like you've already done this, right? You've established boundaries, you are feeling really good. And then this loop pops back in. And you know, uh the healing, whenever I look at it, is just like a shell, right? It goes and it gets easier and easier every single time you do it, right? Yeah, and that spiral. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, okay, well, why does it feel harder this time?

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Well, I think that's what I was feeling is like, okay, wait a minute. I've moved through this savior complex already. I've moved through this taking responsibility for others. I I know that I cannot save anybody and that that suffering serves a purpose, and yet it's back here again. Yet it did feel stronger and more intense. And I think it's because the closer we get to really breaking that pattern, we, it's like harder tests. Not that the universe is testing us, but it's like it circles back and it's a little bit deeper, and it's a little bit deeper until we like break through.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:54

And then it's easier because we've we've really actually broken that loop. I mean, I guess it could be the other way around too, where you like it's really intense and then it gets easier and easier and easier, but not always. Sometimes you get deeper into your being and into those feelings, and it's harder. It's so much harder to face the lessons again.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

That's how I think that's what's happening for me is I'm used to it being super hard in the beginning and then easier as it goes. And right now it's like, okay, that this one in particular was like, okay, yeah, that was really hard. That was that that one was hard, but at least it wasn't as I was able to process and move through it a lot quicker. But then this one was like, I swear to God, it brought up all of the past ones on top of it. And it was just like, oh my God, can we not do this right now? Like these are people that I genuinely love. And I'm having to repeat to myself over and over and over again, I love them for exactly where they are. Brianna, at the end of the day, what is gonna happen? You're going to heal. You know you're going to work on it. This is literally a conversation I had this morning. You're going to work on this. You're going to get through this, and you're going to heal, and you're still going to love them for who they are. The hard truth is that I have to sit with is I know they're not going to work on it.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Yeah. So am I okay with that? Am I at peace knowing? Can I truly tell myself, yes, I am at peace with knowing that this is just how it's gonna be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Which kind of files into this savior responsibility thing is like, I don't have to be the one to fix this. I can find peace in myself without fixing them, without fixing this. Yeah. Right? Without making them see me differently, without making them respond to me differently. Literally, we're going through the same thing because mine is similar stuff like that, where it's like the some of these people and I are just night and day. We're just different, how we process, how we move through life. We're different. And that's okay. None of that has to change for me to be okay. Yet somewhere inside of me, there is this feeling of like, let's just get to the bottom of this, let's just talk about it, let's just have some understanding. Can't we just heal together? And that's not always possible. And I think it's the hardest, one of the hardest things to move through.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

Well, that's what I'm saying. I think that's why it is so hard for me this time. Because every time it's like, okay, yeah, that was hard. Okay, yeah, that was hard. But then this one is just like dragging it all in that it's like, okay, what is different about this time? And today when I was having that conversation, it was almost like, oh my gosh, what is the lesson in this? Because I always try to look at the lesson in it, right? When I'm I would have never been presented this or never have had gone through this if there wasn't something in it for me to learn. Otherwise, how am I gonna continue growing or help anybody that may go through similar situations? Because I know uh we've talked about it, but when I go through something, nine out of ten times, majority of my clients that are coming are also going through it. Yeah. So it's like, how how am I supposed to help them when I I obviously I can, spirit will say, and then I'll I'll know and get that message for myself too. But this one it's been crickets like nothing. So it's it's all been on my own. So it's like, oh shit, this is coming up for people. And it's like the the lesson in this whole thing is are you gonna choose you? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

I agree, that's exactly what's been coming up for me. I 100% agree. That's that's and then

The Lesson: Choose Yourself

SPEAKER_02 13:00

how do you choose you? How do what does that look like? For me, it looked like sitting down and crying. I had to sit down and cry and just let myself feel it was like it was so much in my head, and I was thinking of all these thoughts and these conversations and all these things, and and kind of trying to do that same thing, like, what am I learning and what is this? And I'm like, well, I've already learned this and I've already learned that. I already know that, and I know this. And it was like, this isn't in my brain, this is in my body. And so I actually sat in the sun and just like leaned against the hot tub, and um all of a sudden I felt that wave of like, I don't like it when people are hurting. And that's what came up in the middle of all this, which was interesting, is like so to choose me in that moment, I had to let myself feel the grief that everybody has to learn and everybody has to suffer, and I can't change that. And then all of a sudden I felt calm. So like I cried really hard, and then I was able to access me because I think choose I wasn't choosing me by choosing how how do I fix this and how do I make this better, and what do I say, and what do I do, and taking all this responsibility. And when I just let myself grieve that I have no control, I have no power in that, and there's nothing I can do about it. My body settled, and I just felt like okay, nothing's wrong. There was never anything truly wrong. It was all my thoughts and my feelings and my worries and my pain. So for me, it it literally was just feeling.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

Yeah. Too much feeling.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

Yeah, because I get so worked up, I don't know what I'm feeling, and so I had to sit down and simplify it to just like okay, let it come out. And then as I cried, I understood what I was crying about.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

But I didn't know that's what I was gonna be crying about. Does that make sense? It's like I knew all these thoughts and these feelings, but it was like I had to sit down and get into my body and just breathe. And then my body started crying and I realized what I was holding.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Yeah, it came after. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you have to have that release before that happens.

SPEAKER_02 15:14

Yeah, because I mentally understood all of it, but that didn't do anything for my body. It was still carrying the grief and the heaviness of the reality of it. Yeah, it takes time for it.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

It takes time for the body to catch up. I swear, like the body's like the last to know. Like our higher self will know, our logical mind will know, and then our body is like, well, we don't know.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Well, and I think maybe I'm gonna challenge that a little bit. I think it knows first. That's why it reacts so intensely, but we don't drop into it first. We I mean, speaking for myself, I go straight to my soul first, I go to my mind first. The body is a little bit last for me, but it knows, I think, very quickly because that's where our intuition is. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 16:02

No, I get what you're saying. That makes sense because you're right. My body will tell me before, but I don't listen to it.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

It's harder to listen to. You have to slow down and feel, yeah. And we're quick with it, where we're like, no, let's go to the soul. Tell me what it is. I got this, I got that. Okay, quick and easy. My soul is fast to tell me, but then my body's still like, dude, I'm right here and I need to feel this. I need to let this go. I need to process this. And yeah, so I don't know. It I I would imagine if we're going through this, there's probably other people who are doing the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Yeah. There probably most likely there is, or it's about to happen.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Yeah. It's usually how it works. Yeah, we tend to hit that wave first, and then all of a sudden our clients are gonna come in with we're like, oh, we were just here, let us help you.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

We were just experiencing this. Yeah, we know how to work through it. I mean, I'm still processing, which is fine. I haven't cried, but I did um unplug. And I was in the sun a lot, so I I didn't mow the lawn, I watched Lewis mow the lawn. And then I was just in the sun, basking in the sun, and it felt really good. It just was like to get back to me, I just needed to have some sort of life around me, I guess is the easiest way I can say it. Nature, yeah. Yeah. That's what I needed. And it felt so good. I mean, I told you, it just felt like I literally just hopped into a different dimension where everything was just like it was so easy to choose me, it was so easy to have a good time, it was so easy to laugh, it was so easy not to overthink. And I'm not even like a big overthinker as it is, but when

Let The Body Release The Grief

SPEAKER_00 18:10

it comes to this particular challenge, it's hard for me. Cause when I love somebody, I love somebody. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:23

So, really what you're saying is like to reflect back to you is like you unplugged from everybody else, and you were in your own space, your own energy, and it felt simple.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

It felt so simple, yeah, and everything ran so smoothly. It was like, I'm gonna stay here.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Yeah, well, and that's where we should be, right? I think we're so used to tuning into everybody else's energy because that's what we do for a living, and then that's who we are just in general, because we're so intuitive and connected and loving, and like you said, you love so fiercely that it almost feels wrong to be in that place of like, I'm good, I'm just so good right now. I don't need to plug in, I don't need to find out what they're going through, I don't need to help them, I could just be right here. And I mean, that just I I just feel like I want to even take a deep breath into that for a moment because that is so needed. I feel like the piece that came up for me is can I trust that everybody else can take care of themselves?

SPEAKER_00 19:33

So you want to know it's crazy. You asked that question immediately in my mind was like, no.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

But that's why we're always plugged in. That's why we're always tapped in and helping and communicating and listening and letting them text us and ask questions because somewhere inside of us we feel like we need to save them. Yeah, and that's not true. Yes, we can tap in and get information, yes, we can help them, but it is not wrong to unplug and just be in our own energy. Yeah, it's not wrong because they'll be okay, they'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

If we can figure it out, they can figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Absolutely, and there's other there's other people they can resource when they need it. We don't have to be the person all the time.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

I think always being the person though is like what's hard.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Well, that becomes an identity for us, right? Because we do it for a living also. I feel like it's like an identity piece for us, is like that's who I am. I tap into spirit and I support you. That's a part of my identity. So when you step out of that identity, it feels like you're doing something wrong.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

Well, and I think I shared this with you because it was like right, uh, it was either you or Aunt Sandy, but I literally had said, like, oh my gosh, like I'm I'm just done with all this, right? Like over the last couple weeks, it's like I don't want to do this anymore. I just who is Brianna? Yes, outside of everybody else, outside of all of this knowledge, outside of all of this wisdom, helping all these people. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do. I love helping people. I would be absolutely lost if I wasn't doing what I was doing. Um, but it was like I'm just done. And I told Spirit, just give me a sign if this is it. And um what do I get? I literally get like four bookings. I'm like, okay, well, I wasn't asking for bookings, I've been good, but thank you.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

And it's like, but I think just like I you know, it is you are meant to do this, but you're also meant to do this. To just be Brianna, and that's if that's what I was experiencing is like I meant to do this. I know, like both of us know in our bones that this is our purpose, but it's exactly what you just said. Sometimes I feel lost when I'm not doing it because I need to establish more Katie in my life. Yeah, we need to establish more Brianna in your life. It's like we need to have that identity, breaking that loop of that savior energy to have our own identity. I mean, I I'm just like pausing for a moment here because we have known each other for a long time. We've talked about so many things, and this just feels inevitable on this path we've been on of letting go, being in our own space, protecting our own peace. Of course, we're gonna be right here in this moment where it's like it's time to choose a new identity. We've been moving through all of the patterns and the lessons and the and like for a long time we've been looking at how to do this. So, of course, we're gonna be up against this space that's like it's time to choose. It's in a in a deeper and a stronger way. This new identity and this new path of being somebody different than what we've been this whole time.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

You know what's crazy? You just got chills because that is the collective energy. Is it? Yeah, I sent it to you.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Yeah, I've been so busy. I have I only read little pieces of it. I haven't sat down to fully let it all the way in.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

Yeah, it's like the identity. Are you ready to step into this new version or identity of who you are? No, I have goosebumps. I literally just got it. As you were saying it, I heard Spirit come in and was like, you literally don't listen to your own shit. And it's like, no.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

Right? But I mean, I get that. We all do that, right? We're great at channeling, and then sometimes we're like, oh, that was for me too. Yeah. I am part of the collective. Yeah. And so, like, this savior energy that you and I have, like saviorism and like taking full responsibility for people, this has been a long time coming for us. Yeah. Where we learn how it gives me chills, where we learn how to step into this new identity that we have been creating for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Yeah, and we have. What's funny is if one of my friends sent me a thing today, and it was like, Spirit wants you to know this message, and it was a train, and it was

Identity Beyond Being The Helper

SPEAKER_00 24:30

like, you're on a train, the train is moving, you get to just relax and throw all the old shit out. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God, I needed that. So I sent her back this meme of them just like hawking stuff out. And I was like, that's what I'm gonna do. Like, I need that right now. And I literally did. I literally envisioned it, just like hucking it out, just getting it out of here. It's like, I am on the train, I am on the right path, I am moving forward. And when I look back at where we have been, just you and I, right? Not including Lewis and I. I mean, I've I've shared this with Lewis recently, though, too. It's like if we look back to last year, even like, you know, let alone five years ago, the amount of growth that we have had because we've chosen to put in the work, it's like, okay, why are why are we not choosing us at this point when we've worked so hard to choose us? I mean, and in relationships, I get it, right? People, I have a feeling that people are gonna be like, well, how do I choose me when I'm married, or in a relationship, or this or this, or this, right? That that's difficult for people to wrap their mind around it. But for me, it's always like you have to, like for me, right? Lewis has to choose what Lewis wants in his life. I have to choose what I want in my life. He supports me on taking that leap. I support him on taking that leap, and just having that understanding that at the end of the day, we're both coming together. Yeah. Sharing our excitement, sharing our highs, sharing our lows, helping each other through the lows, having that understanding. Just because you say choose you doesn't mean kick everybody else out.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

But look at what you're saying. I just have I just feel like okay, there's like so much brilliance in this. So to stop saving people, you just have a relationship with them. Because that's what you're describing is a healthy relationship, relating to one another, supporting one another, loving one another, but letting each other ultimately choose, not trying to save them from pain, not trying to control, not trying to, it's trusting that Lewis has it, trusting that you have it. It's everything we're talking about, all wrapped up in the perfect example. It's like I can trust that they can go through this. I'll be there for them when they need me, but I don't have to manage it. I don't have to micromanage it or protect them or be one step ahead to save them. I just have to have a beautiful relationship with them, and that's easy. That's easy.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

But Katie, I just want all of my relationships to be like that. Yeah. Like you and I have that, Lewis and I have that. There's like a couple other people. I just want all of them like that, though.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Yeah, but then we wouldn't be in the school of life. I know. And trust me, I sometimes don't want to be here.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

Listen, can you?

SPEAKER_02 27:35

No, I want to be on earth. I just don't want to be in the lessons of the earth.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Can we just flunk out like I think we far exceeded all of the lessons. Let us graduate. Yeah. We should be walking down with honors. What is that called? We should be valedictorians at this point.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

Yes, we're done. We're done. We hit our our masters, our bachelor's, all the all doctorates. But I mean, I guess in essence, no, because we're still doing it, right? That's what I tell my clients. Like, if you've if you've mastered this, then you're out of your body. See you later. Right? Like, on to the next life to master something else. So I mean, not really at the same time, right? We'll we'll just have lots of lessons, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

Speaking of next life, I've already chosen and signed my own contract. I'm not coming back down to earth. No more what in the soul contract, thoughts for damn sure.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

I always giggle at that because I wonder what your soul says. Because your human is saying that. Yeah. What does your soul actually say? Because I feel like the soul is like, no, I'm going back to Earth because I get to hug and kiss and squeeze people and love people and see people and experience people.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

That's like that's no, my soul's laughing at me like this is a joke.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Yeah, like we're going back. We love it here. You love the connection. It makes me think of one time. This just feels so perfect to share right here. One time I did um mushrooms. So I did, you know, magic mushrooms, and and I was looking at my husband, and I kept saying, There you are. And then I would laugh so hard, I would cry. I'm like, there you are. I was so excited that I could see him in physical form. And in that moment, it was just kind of hilarious because, like, what are you doing? But later, when I reflected on it from a soul perspective, to be able to be on this earth and see people in physical form, to touch them, to see, like, oh, look at how how did how did you choose to have like what eye color? What hair do you have? What body do you have in this life? And I was just so excited that he was like right there in front of me. And that has stuck with me for years because as a soul, we're just energy, right? We're energy, but we're in these bodies. It's like, there you are. I can see you, Brianna. I could touch you, right? Like, I could be next to you. This is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

I love that. It's so funny you say like choose like your eye color because today writer was like, Mom, why did your jeans have to give me dark under circles? And I was like, listen, that wasn't in the contract. Okay. I told God, I told God, please give him my nose. I don't care if he has brown eyes. And so he goes, Mom, I would have taken dad's nose so I could have different colored eyes. And I was like, no, you wouldn't, Rider. No, you wouldn't. And I go, it may not have been your dad's nose. It may have been his dad's nose. And that is not something you would have wanted. I know. He was like, I'll take your word, Mom.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Oh my gosh, so cute.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

Yeah. He's he's opening up my my little boy.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

He's so protective too. Like I didn't even have to say anything, and he knew I think that's what I love, right? This is why I want more of it. Like even with you, right? You're like, hey, are you okay? Like you felt it, and Ryder had felt it, Lewis had felt it, but there was no exchange of words, it was just action of support.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Which was like, oh, that's what I want.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Yeah. But look what you did. You unplugged, you got in your own energy, you let yourself be in your own space, and then people were able to support you. Yeah.

Astrology As A Pattern Map

SPEAKER_02 31:41

It gives me chills. It's like a whole different, again, a whole different identity, a whole different position. If you're always in the driver's seat, there's no space, right? But when you scoot over and you're like, okay, somebody else drive, now you can be supported.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

If my family listen to this, they're like, there's no way in hell she's letting me neither driver's seat.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

I get I get motion sickness, so I drive everywhere. So that, yeah, I wouldn't either, but metaphorically, energetically.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

Yeah. Energetically, I can move over. My body, not so much. Yeah. I think I'm gonna skip out next year. Choose me. I already choose me. Yeah. You thought 13 wishes? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

But you know, like I just not to do it. Right?

SPEAKER_02 32:46

Well, because part of it is actually uh a friend of mine just sent me this video on social media and it said, like, if you choose, if you're like, God, please give me more patience, God doesn't give you patience, God gives you more things to be patient about. Yes, right. So if you're like, oh, I'm gonna choose me, then you're gonna get all of these situations where you have to choose yourself. There is a part sometimes I feel like of setting intentions that is a little bit of a trap because inevitably you're going to come up against all the situations that give you that that you're asking for.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

And so it's a it, and I know it's a good thing, right? Because we're exercising what we need to exercise. We're practicing and playing what we need to practice and play in. But it's also like, man, if I would have never said that, I wouldn't have to be doing all these things right now to choose me.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

I wouldn't. I wouldn't have to worry about protecting my peace because I would already be doing it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

Yet also, uh, you know, whatever we're meant to learn, we're gonna learn. So it would it would be coming up unconsciously. Yeah, anyways. Very aware, yeah. We're just very aware of where we're headed and what we want, and so it comes up, you know.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Wouldn't it be nice just to like read the contract? Where's the manual? Yeah, give it to me. Why did I choose this and how do I get through it? That would be a lot easier so I can ace this test once and for all.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

Well, that's kind of like what astrology is. That's what you brought into my life is like there is a bit of a manual, you know, where you look at the placements in your birth chart and you realize what you're here to learn. And that has helped me a lot because I'm like, oh, this isn't coming up because I'm failing, you know, because my perfectionism loves to come in. Oh, I'm failing, so I must be learning this, or I'm not doing good, or I'm not making the right decisions, so this must be coming up. And then you're always like, oh, it's in your something house. And so that's why you're learning it. It's like, oh, there's the manual, it's just we have to live it. Yeah. So really we just need somebody to live it for us and we'll watch.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Yeah. Yeah. Let me hold the controllers for a little bit. Yeah. Whoever's holding mine right now needs to take a chill.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yeah, but you you have a wonderful way of like, oh, astrology is showing this, that's why you're going through it. And then now you have like an upper hand of how to how to manage it. Like, this is why it's happening. What is the way out? So I think that you know, your knowledge in that is just so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

It's crazy that you brought that up because now I don't ever look at it for me. You know what I mean? I'll look at it for other people. And I'm aware, right? Like, I'm aware, just like when we do those card pulls for the year, it's on the calendar, but I never look at it until something happens. And then it's like, oh my god, Rando is right here. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's the same thing for me. Like, I know that I have everything in my fifth house right now, which it is commitment, right? Am I gonna commit to myself? It is children, it is having fun, it is being seen, it is expression, it is creativity. Like, so am I going to in this long transit, am I going to allow myself to be there, or am I going to constantly worry about what's opposing it, which is my 11th house of others? Oh my gosh, Steve.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

So like literally our whole conversation right now in your houses.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

You literally just use my own words of advice to myself. Like I just had that light bulb moment when you said it. It's like, as you're talking, I'm like, Jesus Christ, Brianna, you have everything in your fifth house, which is supposed to be your 11th house. You've duh. Like yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:47

And so that answers the question like, why is this coming up again? Because of astrology, where it's moving, and so it's hitting this space and it's giving you another opportunity to go deeper into choosing yourself and to bust through all the patterns and all the worries and all the pain that sits in the way of being able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

Yeah. Because it is about balance, right? Like astrology and the lessons that you're learning. People think, oh, yeah, I have so much in. So, for example, for me, I have so much in my fifth house. It's like, okay, yeah, I can harness that energy, but I'm also going to have to have balance with others. So either I'm challenged by others or I feel upset by others, or I can commit to myself and let others support.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:36

Which way do I want to look at it?

SPEAKER_02 37:38

And you did it intuitively. Yeah, plugging and letting people, you know, support you.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Have you having you use my words of wisdom on myself?

SPEAKER_01 37:54

We love this for us.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

I don't even know where it's hitting, where it's hitting me right now, uh, or what what parts of it. But I'm sure it I see.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Yours is your eighth house. So your eighth in your second house. So second house is all about your body, your worth. Eighth house is investing, it is um inheritance, it is karmic debts, it is uh taxes, it is interesting. Yeah, so how can you meet in the middle? Because there's a lot of success that's there in the middle, because both houses are very successful. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, so everything.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

See, and that's when you just take a deep breath. You're like, see, I'm right on track. I'm right on track. Everything I just went through, everything I'm feeling, I'm right on track. There's nothing wrong, and it's really good for the brain to be able to see that, yeah, right? And then your nervous system relaxes because you're like, see, it's perfect. I mean, do I want to have to do this? Probably not all the time, but I'm right on track, and that feels really good.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Yeah, we're on the train and we're moving. And we're chucking shit out the window. We are, we're moving. But I love it. I do as much as like while we were Grace and Franking right now. I was just like at the end of it all, I absolutely love it and wouldn't want it any other way.

SPEAKER_02 39:39

100%. It even feels like cozy and comforting. Uh-huh. It does. Well, and that's been part of like the beauty of our friendship too, is like you see things and I see things and they come together to create a bigger picture. And it just it makes everything makes so much sense. It does. It really does. And then we know we're not alone, so we have that comfort of like, oh, you're human, you're you're being a human too. Oh, it's hard for you too.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Okay, I feel normal. It's okay, kitty. We're normal right now. Oh God. Oh, that makes me want to cry for a long time. I know, I've got peers coming.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Listen, I just got my eyelashes done for the first time a week and a half ago, okay? I cannot cry amazing.

SPEAKER_01 40:36

I've been trying to make them last even though I look like Farquad over here. I mean, at least it's a laugh crying. Far quad, laugh it right now.

SPEAKER_02 41:00

Oh gosh. So good. I

Self Care That Costs Nothing

SPEAKER_02 41:05

love it. So if we were to kind of recap what we're feeling or like give suggestions or support, so if other people feel like they're getting lost in everybody else's stuff, or feel like they want to unplug, they want to trust, they want to let go. Like, what would we tell people right now? Because if this is the collective energy, or maybe even what you already kind of put, you know, in in writing or in your suggestions for people, like what would we tell people? Like, how do you how do you survive this time right now?

SPEAKER_00 41:42

Well, I feel like we talked about it, right? Both of us did things differently. Yeah, new identity. Yeah. But like uh feeling it, right? In any way that you can. I didn't know that I was going to unplug. My body just unplugged. Yeah. I didn't I didn't wake up and consciously choose to do that. It just happened. And I feel like we need to loosen our grip of control so that we can let things happen. Because the night before it happened, I literally had just said, like, okay, give me what I need to just get through this. And then I woke up, I didn't grab my phone, I went outside. I Ryder and I had an amazing day. Everything was just amazing. And then it was like, okay, like I didn't even think about it, right? I didn't think about it until a couple days later, where my parents were like, Oh, we tried calling you and we had to call Ryder. And it was like, Well, I'm safe, you know. Yeah. So it's like, okay. I I really feel like the easiest way would just to be asked and say, what do I need? And then if your body is ready to unplug, or if you need to cry so that you can understand what is going on to then be able to process it, then okay. I think it I think it's expectations. Yeah. Because I do that a lot. I've done it a lot where it's like, like you said, with the the hero and the victim, right? It was like I have to have my expectation of myself is I have to be there. So how can I put myself in a place of okay, uh, I would say surrender essentially. How can I put my place? How how can I put my body in that place to be like just moving into acceptance to then be able to unplug, to get out of my own way. To let go of that grip of control. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Yeah. And I think for me, like the process that I kind of went through is like how do I want to say this? It's like I'm not this person. I'm not these things. I've moved through these things, these feelings of unworthiness or invalidating myself. Like I'm I'm not this. So who am I? Like, what do I want to? How do I want to be? Who am I choosing? What identity? I didn't use that word identity, but now that we've like really nailed that down, I can see that in that moment I was like, who am I? I'm not this. And then I sat down and just breathed into that feeling of like, let's just get all this out of the way. So I feel like like that's that would be something that they could do is like, okay, I don't, I don't choose this. I'm choosing something else. What do I need to feel? What do I need to let go of? What do I need to do to reach this new identity, this new space? What has to go? And I don't think it comes from your mind. I think it comes from just sitting in it and feeling it, or like you said, the natural urge to unplug, it came from you. And then you you witnessed it, you listened, you understood it. So it can come in many ways. You might make a choice or you might automatically start doing something. You're like, this is it.

SPEAKER_00 45:20

Well, and then you continue that choice. So that's something that I would say. Because for me, the next couple days, I because I wanted to stay in that, I did things for Brianna. I chose Brianna. So what if I if I wanted to play a video game for an hour, I played a video game for an hour. If I wanted to go out and just go for a walk, like because that's what made me feel good in that moment, that's what I did. So it was self-care putting me first. And yeah, a lot of people, I'm gonna say this because a lot of people think self-care is like, oh, going to get your hair done or your nails done or your toes done, or you know, doing something to spend money. No, what do you if you can't figure out what it is to do self-care for you? Why don't you ask yourself, what makes you happy? Is it reading a book? Is it writing? Is it singing? Is it dancing? What is it that makes you happy in that moment? You don't have to spend money on doing it. Yeah. Cause that's where a lot of people that I know struggle with that, where it's like, oh, but you have to have money for that. And it's like, no, yeah, that's nice. But that you're they didn't have that back in the 1600s. You know what I mean? Well, what did you do back then?

SPEAKER_02 46:42

Well, and self-care might look like raging out for a minute, it might look like crying until your eyes are puffy, you know? Like that's for me, it looked like mowing the lawn because I'm like, okay, I have to take care of me, I have to listen to me. And and I can do that so well when I'm mowing the lawn. So I just I didn't really want to mow the lawn, but I wanted to connect to me. I wanted to hear me and hear my soul and cut through the chatter and the noise. So I went and mowed the lawn and plugged back into myself.

SPEAKER_00 47:11

Yeah. So I definitely say once you feel it is to just keep choosing that.

SPEAKER_02 47:20

Yeah. And I feel like like what's coming to me right now intuitively is like you could also do like a journal list of okay, this is the new identity. Like what we talked about, like my new identity is someone who trusts that other people can handle their own things. I don't have to be the savior. So what does it look like to be that type of person? Oh, I would go, you know, like you said, I would go play a video game for a while. I would go to the store with my son and leave my phone at home. I, you know, like those. So I think you could take make a journalist too. It was like, if this is the new identity I'm choosing and this is who I know I really am, what actions would I take? And just maybe brainstorm a little bit of like what it would look like to be that new identity, that new person.

SPEAKER_00 48:03

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't looked, I'm still not even wearing my watch. I love it. It's so good. Yeah.

Listener Questions And Closing

SPEAKER_02 48:16

Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for your questions. We would love to hear from you. If you have more questions, if there's more topics you want us to go over, um, keep them coming because we we love this and we want to interact with you in a way that supports you. Over and out.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

We're closed. We didn't want to fucking talk about it anyways, but we talked about it over and out, motherfuckers. Yeah, I know.