Astrology, Somatics, and Coming Back to You

We talk about functional freeze and dissociation as the sneaky ways the nervous system can shut down while we still “keep going,” and why understanding the lesson isn’t the same as moving through the emotion. We connect somatics, inner child healing, astrology timing, and real community support so you can stop doing it all alone and start feeling like yourself again.
• functional freeze as overwhelm, burnout, and playing dead to life
• sacred pause versus stuckness, especially around grief and loss
• why sitting still can deepen freeze, and why movement helps
• astrology as divine timing, with Neptune shifting and Mars in Aries
• TV shows and stories as mirrors that help us process and trust intuition
• phone scrolling, dopamine, and the cost of inauthentic connection
• inner child work as “soul retrieval” through feeling and being witnessed
• practical support resources, including Holistic Life Navigation and A Felt Life Parenting

 
Resources: 

• Luis Mojica: https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/
• Mandy Jay: https://www.healingwithmandyjay.com/a-felt-life-parenting-community

***Disclaimer: This podcast is a space for storytelling, intuitive insight, and shared experiences with Spirit. The content provided is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice.

We are not acting as licensed professionals, and nothing shared here should be taken as a substitute for professional care or guidance. Always seek the support of a qualified provider for your individual needs.

By listening, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own choices, interpretations, and actions.

Sound Effect by freesound_community from Pixabay

Transcript

Welcome And Ground Rules

Speaker 0:06

A whispered thread podcast where intuition, astrology, and laughter collide. This isn't your love and light playground. It's real, it's raw, and it's right now. We are your hosts, Katie and Breana.

Speaker 3 0:20

Go grab a cup of tea and get ready to snuggle into your soul. This podcast is a space for shared stories, intuitive insight, and the connection with spirit. Everything we offer is from our personal experience and perspective. It is not medical, psychological, or professional advice. Please use your own discernment and seek support from a qualified professional when needed.

Speaker 0:54

Welcome back to a whispered thread podcast. Brianna and I would like to talk about what's alive in us right now, how we process and how we move through these patterns.

Dissociation And Functional Freeze

Speaker 3 1:04

So, how was your weekend? What did you do? Anything fun? What are these patterns that are coming up?

Speaker 1:12

Uh my weekend was intense. The pattern that's coming up for me right now is disassociation and functional freeze, not being able to move forward with things, doing all the mental work, all the spiritual understanding, and still feeling stuck.

Speaker 3 1:31

Freeze is a big one. I've always said how I didn't like how people don't talk, they don't talk about freeze enough. And I really feel I don't want to categorize like which one is worse because I feel like they're all bad. But if I had to, I feel like freeze would be number one. Well, I think it's the sneakiest.

Speaker 1:53

Because if we're ready to fight, like we feel it, we have this charge, right? And if we're ready to run, we're ready to, you know, get the heck out of there. We're flying, we feel it. But in functional freeze, there's no movement and it's sneaky.

Speaker 3 2:07

Well, and it just reminds me of being numb. It is so you're literally, yeah. So you're literally doing your day-to-day things, but you are not in your body.

Speaker 2:21

Yeah. Yeah. Totally. And that's the disassociation that I was feeling. Like knowing that I wasn't fully inhabiting this space, but not being able to get back in it. So for me, it would it was an emotional healing that needed to happen because I understood it logically. I understood it um spiritually and the lessons I was learning. But again, this was another, like I had I feel like this is a big theme for me is like, let's just get in the body and deal with these emotions. Because no matter how much I understood it, I couldn't move forward. I had to get in and feel it.

Speaker 3 2:58

Yeah. Okay, so correct me if I'm wrong, but for me, how would people because I know when I get into freeze mode, but how would people know when they are in freeze mode? Because for me, I've I've had plenty of deaths in my life. And I notice that I'll be good, but I'm actually in freeze mode, right? So I'm doing my normal everyday thing. It's like, yeah, I know I have to take care of this or I have to take care of this. My freeze mode always comes with a death, whether it is a death of my own, going through a rebirth, or if it's like a physical death that has happened around me. I notice that I'm still going through the motions, but I it hasn't registered yet that I'm in freeze mode. So how do you know when you are?

Speaker 3:53

My first thought for your specific example is that's like a sacred pause more than freeze. That's like grief and pause. How do you process a death? You have to kind of so I don't know exactly how long you're staying in that. So I could be wrong, but for what you're to me, when you're talking, I'm like, oh, well, that's kind of like understandable. That's not something that needs to be fixed. That's something that just needs to be loved on while you're in that sacred pause, processing that grief, and then you'll kind of move forward. So to me, that doesn't feel like one that's stuck and needs fixed, it's one that needs honored.

Speaker 3 4:30

True.

Speaker 4:33

Again, I don't know how long you're staying in that freeze, but it but then we could even talk about grief in general being there's no timeline for grief. How do you speed that up?

Speaker 3 4:42

Yeah, it's like when people say, Oh, give a time and you'll be fine. It's like, no, that's not they're lying to you. Let's be real here.

Speaker 4:53

Yeah, it's not something. So for me, just to give an example, mine was more like I've been trying to do some things in my life for quite a few years that I can't seem to hold. I'll start to do it and then I stop and I start to do it and I stop. And that's the feeling. So for me, it's more of like there isn't anything triggering around me, like there isn't anything happening, and I still can't get my motor running. I'm just like stuck in this sludge and realized I was I was frozen in that spot for a particular reason.

Speaker 3 5:30

Can

Astrology Timing And Thawing Out

Speaker 3 5:31

I say something about astrology? Oh, yeah, always. Okay. Please. My little girl hands are like getting excited. Um there they're I understand the freeze, right? I've witnessed people go in freeze mode. So I'm not trying to detour from that topic. But when you were talking about, like, you know, I've I've been trying to do this, I've been trying to do this. Well, in astrology, we have placements that happen, right? Where we are stuck in in this and we do disassociate, right? Well, Neptune was in Pisces for a very long time, and it is about, you know, dissolving. It is about delusions, it is about, you know, just like the flowiness of it all. And now with it being an Aries, yeah, you're gonna get out of freeze because Aries is gonna melt your ass to deal with it. Plus with all the fire that yeah, with all the fire that we've had, it's like, okay, it's time to thaw out. Like, ice age is over. Yeah. And that's literally what happened.

Speaker 6:39

It was like, you have to face this. And what was beautiful in that moment was it was another person that's that I was talking to, and is like, I can feel this is like so alive in you right now. Do you want to hop on a FaceTime call and move through this? And I was like, Yeah. So to me, that even aligns with astrology, right? It's like I was trying and trying and trying, and it wasn't working out. And there are reasons in the stars and the planets for that. And then when it was time to move, there was an invitation, and I said yes. So I think that this is, I love your explanation of that. And it feels so it makes my process feel even better that I was like aligned, right? I was aligned with that, and I said yes, and I did it.

Speaker 3 7:17

Well, yeah, and over the weekend we had Mars move into Aries, which is home-based. So it is, yeah, taking that action to thaw out, to process, to let it all open. And I don't know how long it's been, but you know, we had Neptune there for 14 years. Wow. Yeah. So I I I people need to understand too, as far as the reason why I'm saying this is I'm not saying it because that this is exactly how you were feeling. But I've had clients who, you know, they're like, I can't get through this. And it's like, hold on, hold on, you're almost there. You know what I mean? I know it's been a long process. I know you've healed so much, I know that you've dug all of this out, and I know this is how you're feeling, but just give it a week. You're gonna start feeling and seeing things in such a different light. Of course, if they show up like you did, right? If they do take that action and initiate it in some sort of way, then yeah, it's going to happen because in astrology, you could have amazing placements and you could be feeling like shit. And it's because you're not taking that initiative to harness that energy, you're still stuck in, well, nothing's gonna happen, right? And right now, it's a perfect time to step into this new identity. I think we talked about it the last one, but that's what Aries is his identity. It's the first house, it's who you are. So, how are you gonna show up? How are you gonna let that fire ignite you instead of thinking, oh, this is fine, like that little meme? You're actually doing something.

Speaker 8:52

Yeah. Well, and that's such a great reminder that sometimes we can we can try, but when it's a not like in divine, like I think of astrology as divine timing, right? When it's when there's planets that are making us, there's different placements and it's making us look at different things and we have different energy. We can try and try and try, and sometimes it doesn't happen until that planet shifts because of divine timing. But I think it's also really awesome the way that you just described that, because um I couldn't step into a new identity. I couldn't step in, it was another piece of I need to move forward, but I'm not allowing myself to do that. Like, what's in the way? So it just it's interesting that I'm keep getting the same theme, and then right, it's in the planets, you're like not very interesting. But it and also I'm an Aries moon, which is my emotions, and that's exactly the playing field that I'm in right now is like, oh, you got to deal with your emotions. This isn't this isn't it?

Speaker 3 9:48

And you've had every single planet go either directly over your moon or really close to your moon. Yeah. So it's like the emotions needed that to come out. Be like, Katie, let's do it. You're a badass, let's get it done.

Speaker 10:06

But that's the problem. I couldn't feel the badassness, I couldn't feel the fire at all. It was just like, no, I don't. I had the opposite fire. It was like, okay, let's move into this. And I'm like, no, no, I don't want to. Okay, let's try this new thing. No, I don't want to. So I had this urge and this desire to grow and expand in these certain areas of my life. And then I had the exact, like, actually, a friend said it perfectly. I had one foot on the brake and one foot on the pedal. And one part wanted to move and the other part didn't. And I had this like, I was frozen in that spot of conflict within myself. Um, and it finally cleared up, you know, through for me, also, this is another piece that I just feel like I want people to hear. I even made a post about it on my Facebook. Sometimes you can't do it alone. We're so used to being strong and looking at it alone and processing alone and doing it all alone. But there's parts of us that need to be witnessed, that need to have somebody else sitting there listening and looking and holding space for us so that we can we can actually feel it and we're not doing it by ourselves. Because our inner child, probably in some of those spots, at least it was for me, that's what I was doing back then. So for me, I was two years old and I was trying to regulate my emotions alone. And so when my friend hopped on the FaceTime call with me and was actually there listening, talking, reflecting, holding space, my inner child had somebody else to hold her in that moment. And then I could drop into that feeling and move through it and actually process it. But had she not been there, I don't think I could have in that same way because I was trying to hold myself and process, which is exactly what I was doing back then. And my body was like, no, this is like got what what got stuck in the first place? Let somebody hold you. And so that's that's what I did. I allowed myself to receive, to be seen, to be loved, and it moved through.

Speaker 3 12:04

You know, I've always been a big deal. As as much as a recluse as I am, what do you call those introverts? As much as an introvert as I am, I know in my soul that we were never meant to be alone. Yeah. That's where we have community. So even with cycles, right? This is a the the scenario that I keep seeing when you were talking about it, is like for women in particular, and men too, right? They would all go together and go hunting. And then someone always had someone's back, right? You didn't go hunt alone. And then for women, it's like they everybody was on their cycle at one time, except for maybe like one or two of them, where they would be there to help support the whole clan of their tribe. And then it's like, okay, where did we become so disconnected from that? Where we feel like we have to have, you know, it has to be independent, it has to be this. Well, I mean, I know why astrology-wise, it's because that's where Capricorn was, you know. And so it is, I want to do this on my own. I can do this. But now that we have slowly started moving into, you know, Pluto and Aquarius, and then on top of it, having the north and south node going into Aquarius, it is about others, having that support from other people, knowing that you're not doing this alone, sharing within your communities and having somebody to be there to witness you, to watch you grow, to hold you when you need to be held. It doesn't need to be looked at like, oh, well, because when Capricorn was in Pluto, if you did anything, you know, it's like, well, bucket up, you know, get through it, don't cry. That's weak.

Speaker 13:54

Yeah.

Speaker 3 13:55

It's like, no, and don't ask for help.

Speaker 13:57

You're bothering somebody. They like, you know, or or even maybe some people in your life are like, you're too much for me when you drop into this space of needing me to hold you. I can't hold you. I can't even hold myself, you know. Like, there's a lot of that too. I think it's so this is why I love our conversations because in my life, I'm witnessing. I mean, you've been somebody who's been so instrumental in me feeling held and received and seen, and that's been happening for years. But there's been a new wave of people where I have more people like you in my life. And so just you saying that with like astrology is doing that, I'm like, wow, right? Like again, I'm in alignment. I've been waiting for this and waiting for this. And you're telling me all I had to do was wait for the stars, wait for the planets.

Speaker 1 14:42

That's all you had to do. You just had to wait for that.

Speaker 14:45

There's a bit of frustration in that because I'm like, I was ready a long time ago. However, like you said earlier, I was doing the work while I was not receiving that. I was digging in to see the places that I don't allow, you know, support to happen. I was digging into the places that I felt guilty for that. So I was doing all the work, and then when the wave came in, I was able to receive these people where I might not have been able to receive them had I not done the work before.

Speaker 3 15:16

Well, that isn't astrology. That's just you being open and doing all the work.

Speaker 15:21

But you see what I'm saying? Like when astrology opened the doors for it, I was able to receive it because I had been digging in and moving through the places that wouldn't have possibly been able to receive that before, you know? So that makes sense. It's like I was in alignment with what was happening. So I think that's beautiful. Thank you for helping me see that.

Speaker 3 15:43

That's what I do.

Speaker 2 15:46

That is what you do.

Speaker 3 15:49

No, you do, but you've also, I mean, I see where you're coming from because even for me, being someone who didn't feel, I mean, you know this, but not everybody knows this. Is I was literally schedule my cry time.

unknown 16:05

Yeah.

Speaker 3 16:06

It's like, nope, you're not on your cycle, you don't get a cry, you gotta hold it in. And it's like, that's not fair, you know what I mean? To know I can feel, to now I do feel held and supported. It's like, okay, I need I don't need anything, but just need a Frankie moment. And then it's like, okay, she heard me. I was able to say it, and it feels better, you know.

Speaker 16:28

Yeah, where you're not holding it all on your own. I love this. And I'm I my wish is that so many other women and men get to have these types of friendships, especially like you said, with astrology shifting, where we don't have to do it all on our own. I that is my wish that so many other people um can get the support that they need because we can't do this alone, especially when we're trying to move through big emotions. We need people that can hold us.

Speaker 3 16:55

Yeah. Even through challenges, right? Even if it is just a challenge, like a mental challenge, not even emotion. Yeah. For me, I notice when I have like a mental challenge, then what happens is I go into my emotional side, and then it's like fireworks everywhere. That's not a good fireworks show, you know? It's like, okay, wait a minute. I need to just have somebody to just be there and say, okay, like the other day, I no, it was yesterday. I literally told Luis, I was like, Am I overreacting? Because I knew my beliefs that I have, and then it was like, okay, these are my beliefs. And then I started getting angry, and so then my emotions kicked in, and then my irrational mind is all over the place, and so it's like, okay, babe, am I am I overreacting right now? And there's times that he'll be like, absolutely, or no, babe, it's okay, right? He didn't want to say anything yesterday, and so I had to, because of my emotions had taken over, it was like he didn't know what side he was gonna get. So he was like, I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut. No, that's far. Yeah, and I'm like, no, it's okay. You can tell me it's safe. And he was like, Yeah, you are, and I'm like, okay. And then I knew I had to just breathe, I had to get rid of one. I needed to feel my emotion so that my mind could start to clear up. And then I was like, okay, here we are, versus like just all together. So, like, even through mental challenges, like we need people to be there for support and to witness, like, either tell us straight out you're being irrational or no, you're not overreacting. Yeah.

Speaker 18:45

But how brilliant that he waited for you to ask because you were in a space to be able to receive that when you ask, versus I'm in the middle of my freak out now. My husband just told me you're freaking out or you're being irrational, right? Sometimes that can land like a like a dart, right? In the, you know, like, oh no, you didn't just say that. Um, I think it's really beautiful that you you asked and could receive, and he waited, you know, for you to be able to do that. I just think that's a really good, um, a really good way to do it.

Speaker 3 19:16

Yeah. Bless his soul.

Speaker 19:19

Yeah, bless his soul. Bless his soul.

Speaker 3 19:21

He did good.

Speaker 19:23

He did. And so did you, right? Of like, okay, wait a minute. I think I need to look at myself here instead of just, you know, I'm right and this and I'm gonna be mad. It was like, wait, okay, something, you know, something needs to be looked at here. And you you you paused and did that. So good job on you too.

Speaker 3 19:42

Yeah. Those are hard moments, though. Like gotta breathe in for a second, and then my thing is, especially with all this Aries energy, it's so much action that I feel like I don't have well, I didn't have time to process anything, is what what it was. You know what I mean? To then be able to move forward. But yesterday it felt like a lot calmer. And then I also had that support. I shared some of it with you. Obviously, I had that talk with Lewis, and it was like, okay, cool. Here we go. Now I can like have time to process through all of this action that has been happening. I haven't had time to process, I haven't had time to do much of anything because it's just been so much movement that I haven't had time to slow down. And we've been so used to that flowy slow down chill that it's like, wait a minute, we're moving from one extreme to the next.

Speaker 20:46

Yeah, that's such a great point. And if people aren't taking the time to process, it builds up and builds up and builds up. And then now you have layers and layers and layers to work through, and you don't even know what is actually wrong, right? So um, yeah, that's a great point that we're moving into a space where we need to make sure we pause and process, especially right now, like you said, like when the shift is happening, we feel it more. I think we'll get used to some of this Aries energy as we settle into it.

Speaker 3 21:15

Yeah, and we will, it takes time. But for me, whenever, so usually when in astrology for me, I don't know how other people look at it, but when we have ended one thing, right? So the closeout of Neptune in Pisces, the closeout of Uranus in Taurus, right? And going into Gemini. We that means that we have mastered that energy for me. So now that we've mastered it, we're tiptoeing into new territory where it's like, how are we going to handle this? But we start, I feel like a lot of people forget that we've already mastered this energy. And it's like they forget all about it and then start moving into this. New energy. So, like, even for me, it's like, okay, well, I'm still used to that Piserian energy. We still have Uranus and Taurus. So it's like uh in that groundingness of it all. But then I mean it's right around the corner when it moves into Gemini. And that is uh the way we communicate, that is our mind, that is also community, it's your neighbors. So it's like we're having all of this all together, and then it's like, wait a minute, we didn't forget how to flow. Now it is okay, we float. So how can I guess the best analogy would be we've caught the fish, now how do we cook it?

Speaker 22:38

Yeah. And remembering that you caught the fish.

Speaker 3 22:41

Yeah.

Speaker 22:42

Like remembering how to flow. Like I learned this. Okay, hold on, take a deep breath. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. It's good good to know. I think that's gonna be helpful for people.

Speaker 3 22:56

I understand.

TV Shows As Intuitive Mirrors

Speaker 3 22:58

Can we talk about our shows now?

Speaker 2 23:00

Yeah.

Speaker 3 23:01

Okay. So we watched medium, guys. We watch TV shows together. And I'm not someone who watches a lot of TV. Do you watch a lot of TV?

Speaker 23:13

Um I wouldn't say I watch it, but I'm somebody who like if I'm gonna clean the house, sometimes I'll put on like grease is in the background for like this the comfort, the sounds, the music as I'm cleaning. Um, hairspray is one that's on. So I feel like the TV can be on in many ways, but I'm not always like, I don't just like sit down and watch it. I'm not somebody who sits down in front of the TV and actually watches it like that. Now, when I'm listening to some of our shows, like medium more, I'm might be playing games on my computer, I mean on my phone while I'm watching it. So our shows a little bit more, yes. But as far as like all the time being on the, you know, like watching it, no, no, yeah.

Speaker 3 23:53

Same. So I don't watch TV of a lot. Like Lewis and I have our shows, but it's always like right before bed, is like the TV's off all day, but like after like 5 30, 6 o'clock, the TV's on, right? Yeah. And Katie and I watched Medium. And what I was thinking about was okay, how did I get here? How do I always find these shows that know exactly what I'm going through and have the answers in them, like right now? Ah, yeah. And I think I think this started way back when when I first started, it was when grandpa passed. Remember, I was like, oh my god, look at this show. And then I was dreaming of wolves, and then in the next episode, there was that huge wolf, and I was like, oh my god, I lost myself. And it was like that was the message, you know. And then from surreal estate, it went to something else, I forget, and then it went to supernatural, and then it went to Grim. And then, no, what was that other one we watched? Haven. It was Grim, Haven, yeah, yeah, and then it went from Grim to Haven and then Haven to Medium, and there's always like messages that are there in them, and there's always something that I need to know. And and I love old shows, even if I haven't seen them or like, and I do like re-watching, and now we're back to supernatural. Well, I am as your first time. I've never seen it. And I just find it so interesting that no one ever talks about these older shows because a lot of the shows that we've watched, I gotta say it, but they've told us everything that has already happened already, way back when. Yes, and then now we're seeing and feeling it now that it's like, holy cow, maybe this is why, because supernatural, I told you I couldn't watch it when it first came out, and I still couldn't watch it literally until last year. And then it was like, oh my god, this is why I had to watch it. Yeah, this is why I I needed this balance within relationships, right? Obviously, I'm not gonna give too much away to you, but I'm sure you've already witnessed the relationship dynamic that Dean and um Sam the brothers. I'm obsessed with Dean, can't even remember Sam's name. So it's like that, and we've had that, right? And that's when we were really growing when I was watching that, like all of these ideas were coming up to us, and then now with medium, it's like we I feel like medium she questioned herself in the beginning of what her worth was. And when we started watching Medium, was before we did the podcast. Yeah. And then she started coming into her own and really took charge and fully believed in herself. And look at where we are now. Yeah, it's like, uh, and then to go back into such like a badass show, like supernatural. It's like, look at how that whole process is unfolded, all because of a TV show.

unknown 27:08

Yeah.

Speaker 3 27:09

Isn't that crazy to me? It's crazy to me.

Speaker 27:12

Yeah, I love it though. And I love that literally when you were saying the names of all the shows, I'm like, oh my gosh, we're watching everything that has to do with like intuition, uh, uh, you know, things like the mythological creatures, you know, or even like it's supernatural now. We're looking at a lot. Well, I guess we were in the others too, but a lot of even like the so-called negative entities, right? Or the werewolves, and yeah, I love it. It's all stuff that's out of this world.

Speaker 3 27:42

Yeah, because in Haven, I totally forgot about that. You could look at that as like a negative entity, all of the the black stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like but they called it a name. I swear they called it a name. Anyways, but yeah, all of that, the tar, the black tar, I think that's what they called it. All of that stuff, and then in Grim with all the mythical creatures and all of that stuff, it's like but again, that's Pisyrian, you know what I mean? It is like creative, imaginative, but here we are like, no, that shit's real.

Speaker 28:20

Well, a lot of it, like even like with Medium, I think we're both, you know, watching her dream. I know this is the show, right? Like she's dreaming, she gets insight through her dreams and then uses it in her everyday life. And both of us do that. That's something we do. Either we dream prophetic dreams, like this is what's happening, or we get insight about our own emotional things or somebody else's emotional things. I even have dreams about, like, you know, somebody's doing something very simple in their life, and I just dreamt about it.

Speaker 3 28:48

In fact, like, yeah, like you were talking about me and Brinley a couple weeks ago where you were here and it was like, Well, yeah, we did just have a talk. And you're like, Oh, well, I didn't mean to intrude. It's like, no, it's fine. I love that.

Speaker 29:01

You know how many times I've had to say that? Like, just recently, I I had uh somebody I knew from school, but she also has been to like some of my meditation classes, and I in my dream she wanted to cut her hair and she finally did it. And so I messaged her out of nowhere. I haven't seen her in months and months and months. And out of nowhere I messaged her and was like, Hey, you wanted to cut your hair really bad in my dream, and then you did it and loved it. And she's like, Oh my gosh, I'm literally right now contemplating whether I want to cut my hair or not. And I'm like, Well, I think that it's a good idea. So no, it's so watching it in medium. It was it was really cool to see that, and then to see, like you said, she's questioning her worth, she's trying to believe herself and believe her intuition, and that's what so many of us need to do is believe in ourselves, including ourselves. That's what we were going through and our worth and yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 29:52

I just I just loved medium because I loved how we were able to witness her grow. And then that does really happen. Like, we do really do that. We really do dream, we really do feel things. Are there times where we question ourselves? Because I know Lee questioned Allison a ton of times that it got to the point where you know, she just looked at him and was like, Really? After how long? And it was like, Yeah, girl, tell him. Like, yeah, after how freaking long of doing this, are you gonna question me? And I liked seeing how the puzzle pieces come together because I've told you this. It's like I've had a dream, I'm trying to process it, and then here I am. Like, I feel like I'm missing a puzzle piece, I'm only seeing a certain aspect of it. It's like that's literally what happens in our day-to-day lives. And so I felt so seen in watching that show. Yeah, it was like, and then to find out that she's real. I just remember texting you the other day when I finished it. She's a real person, she really works for the district attorney, she really lives in Arizona, and like this is crazy.

Speaker 31:02

Yeah, going that whole show, all those seasons, and finding out that she's a real person, that is really cool.

Speaker 3 31:08

They really needed a disclaimer for that. I was already invested, but I would have been far more invested if I knew that it was basically a documentary. But I I just uh I loved seeing that just to be like, Brianna, you uh you uh are being validated. You're looking at yourself right now, yeah and on the big screen TV, like take up space. Yeah, take up the space.

Speaker 31:34

You know, it's funny when you were saying that about Lee questioning her. I feel like that's our higher selves, right? It's like I've been we've been doing this forever. You're gonna question yourself again, right? When you get inside or knowing, and you're like your higher self is like, oh, come on, girl. Can how like how long do you have to how many times do you have to question your intuition? You know you've got this, you know you're good at this, like own it.

Speaker 3 31:58

It's so true. It really is. Yeah, but we do it, it's just what happens, honestly. Everybody does it, but I I just want the reason we're gonna talk about it is because I want everybody to watch it, regardless if you can tune in or not, or whatever. Because I my belief is that everybody has an intuition, everybody gets to feel that everybody is going through some sort of awakening right now. That it's like if you watch the show, it's gonna make you feel so good. Like, because you're gonna be seen or something from it, or if you just you know, there's nothing on TV anymore, and they don't make TV the same, like the shows. I mean, the quality of the older ones, it kind of sucks because we've gotten used to the quality that we have now, but they're they're so much more impactful, I find. Yeah, so it's like go browse, close your eyes, say Jesus, take the wheel and pick one and then watch it and be mind blown.

Speaker 33:01

Yeah. Well, that's really what happens, right? Like for me, for a I'll have a book on my shelf for so long.

Speaker 3 33:07

I was gonna say this, yeah.

Speaker 33:08

And then it it finally one day I read it and it's exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it, and like it's it's moving through something for me. And I feel like TV shows are the same way. Like, if I decide I'm gonna watch something, there's usually a piece in it that is giving me what I need, and that's why it's coming up at this time. And you've picked all of our TV shows, but they've all been perfect, right? Like glassy ones we've watched, like you've picked them, but somehow they've aligned and helped me move through something, which is fitting our theme for this whole podcast, right? Like we wanted to talk about processing, and this is what you really felt like is helping you process.

Speaker 3 33:43

Yeah. Well, because I've been noticing the patterns, right? So, like you had yours that you were able to move through, and my process was a little different. It's like I was able to step back and look and see how I truly process things. So I do talk to you about things, I do talk to Lewis, obviously. I have my people that that I talk to to move through stuff, but then there's always that little puzzle piece that I'm talking about where you know you almost feel like you're done and you can move on, right? That you've moved through it, you can take aligned action, or you can truly just let it go.

Speaker 2 34:20

Yeah.

Speaker 3 34:21

I don't, I don't get to that point for some reason until I'm watching a show and it's right in front of me.

Speaker 34:28

Yeah, it's your whispered thread.

Speaker 3 34:31

Yeah, it is. Yeah. So it's like, oh my gosh, this is how it shows up for me is either in song or watching a TV show that I intuitively picked for whatever reason that no one is watching right now. And here we go. Like everybody's already known about these shows, but like here are you are just discovering them. It's like, well, because it was the right time, it's like that right place, right time situation for what I'm going through. And then I'm able to fully process it because someone else said it, even though I've been saying it the whole time, or you like you have already told me or Lewis had already told me, but it's like, I guess I need to hear it three times before my brain is like, oh my God, we were just talking about this. Then it's like, why do I have that pattern? Why, why can't I just like move all the way through? Why do I have this pattern of like, okay, because now this is what I was thinking last night. Now it is okay, here's this pattern that you're aware of. The next show that you pick, which I I guess I had felt it before, remember? Because I told you, like, well, you pick one, right? Now I'm scared to pick another one because of what is it gonna be? What is it gonna bring up? What is it gonna bring up? What am I gonna have to move through? And it's like, okay, now you're just giving away your power. Like, yeah.

Speaker 35:54

I love it though, because you know, I think this you say, like, oh, I hear I have to hear it three times, but it it makes sense because it's like you hear it once and your body begins to take it in and process it, and then you hear it again and you're like, oh, there it is, okay. And then that third whispered thread, you're like, okay, I've got this, right? So you're moving through layers, there's nothing wrong with that. I think it's beautiful. And then I also think I know it's just TV, right? But it's a way of relating, and that's what humans do. We relate to each other, and it's like, oh, I can see it better now through your lens and your life because you're a mirror for me. So whether it's a character on TV, a character in a book, or your best friend, right? Like it's somebody else that you get to mirror with, relate to, um, have compassion for them, and then it opens that compassion for you. It's just another thing that like it circles back to everything you were saying earlier. We need each other, we need community.

Speaker 3 36:47

Yeah, we're moving into that where it's like we get to do that. We even with Uranus and Gemini, right? Everybody's talking about, oh, it's like technology, AI, and it is, but Gemini rules the third house, which is your neighbors, which is your community that you live in, which is Aquarius, which is others, community doing things of service for other people, like it is outside making a bigger impact. And it's like, I love that. I love that.

Community Over Scarcity And Screens

Speaker 3 37:20

Even even recently, like the other day, I didn't share this with anybody. It's just a thought I had. So whoever's listening, I haven't established this yet. But it was a thought where my whole wedding I bartered, and I love the barter system. I've always loved the barter system. If I have something that I create, put love and pour into it that you need, and you have something that you create and put love into that I need, why wouldn't we just swap our goods? Yeah, because it's an equal exchange of energy, right? That now it's like, oh my gosh, I've just been having this huge pull to be like, just post that. You don't have the money. No, everybody is in this like root scarcity. I've noticed, like, even today, going to the store, no one at the store. Yeah, no one was at the store today, and it's literally sale day. Like, why is no one getting three-dollar meat right now? Like, that never happens. And so it's like if we are able to just barter our goods, that's something that I I'm I've been really sitting with where it's like if you don't have money or you have scarcity, what do you do? We'll swap.

Speaker 1 38:34

Yeah.

unknown 38:35

Yeah.

Speaker 3 38:36

And that goes into you know, the theme that we have already with your neighbors, community. It's like, oh, that would be so nice.

Speaker 38:46

And we need it because I feel like, right, we we've moved into this era of the cell phones and behind the screen, and nobody's really connecting. And now we have AI where everything you read online is the same, like chat GPT voice. And we need the realness, the connection, the like get out from behind that that screen, or even just get on FaceTime where you're real, not where you're typing on the you know what I mean? Because at least on FaceTime, you can see each other and you can look into each other's eyes and have more of a connection than just behind the social media screen. So I think it's wonderful that the planets are shifting into that when we really, really need it.

Speaker 3 39:30

Well, and it's hard too because you see videos that look so real that it you question like if it's even like, did this really happen? Like that looked so real. Yeah, it makes you go crazy. Like cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Like you really can't. Yeah, and utilizing it in discernment. Yeah, you gotta have discernment. I've noticed a lot of people not have any lately that it's like you're really just out here willy-nilly in life, believe in everything. Like, what what are you feeling? Yeah, yeah, it's so true. Remember how we talked about how Lewis was like always watching his phone? Well, he hasn't been watching his phone for like like he doesn't even have it by him. So now I feel bad for everybody who tries to get a hold of me because they're no one's gonna pick up the phone. And he told me yesterday, he was like, I don't even know what's going on in the world, and it actually feels good. Yeah. And that's not coming from like, oh, I'm neglecting what's happening around me, or I just don't care, or no, because I care what's happening in the world, but I can't carry it all or do anything in that moment to fix it. So it's like if I just create my bubble and and it's all gonna come out. So I love that it's like, yeah, move away from that. How can you start creating and taking action in your life to make better changes around you versus being on your phone and just sitting there? Like I saw a post the other day, because it's weird that I'll get on Instagram because it's the only social media I have. Um and it was this lady, she was like, Oh, thank you for calling um the bank of the universe. And she was like, Oh, yeah, well, we did send you $10,000. And the girl was like, No, and she goes, Yes, we did. Well, let me pull this up for you. And she's like, We gave you an idea that would have given you five grand right away. And then we went ahead and someone, you know, we put someone in your life to pay for your coffee, and you said no. Yeah. So if you're not even, if you're not even open or feel worthy enough to accept a small amount of abundance, how are you going to hold the $10,000 ideas that we're giving to you?

Speaker 2 42:07

Yeah.

Speaker 3 42:07

And it's like that's because everybody's on their phone scrolling, watching everybody else take action instead of them taking action.

Speaker 4 42:15

Yeah.

Speaker 3 42:15

And not everybody needs to see what's going on with what you're doing. Just I guess nobody knows what we're doing behind the scenes before we have the session.

Speaker 2 42:24

Yeah.

Speaker 3 42:25

They don't need to know that. They just want to know, okay, what is going on right now? They don't need to know our whole process beforehand.

Speaker 42:32

Yeah. But I feel like this circles back to what I was talking about for my process is the disassociation and the numbing out, right? It's like we get on that phone and we scroll and scroll and scroll and get our dopamine hits and check out of our own life because for whatever reason, right? Like, why are we doing that? I think we all need to look at that. Why are we numbing out? Why are we disassociating? Instead of, like you said, like really like set it down and listen to our inner voice, listen to that, you know, to receive that coffee that just came to you, that idea that just came to you. Do I want to like dive into that more? Do I want to create that? But a lot of the times, I mean, I'm guilty of it too, where I'm like, nope, I'll just I'll just get on the phone and scroll because that like scratches an itch. But we're not going anywhere. What are we doing? You know, we're wasting so much time looking at other people's lives and not grounded in our own bubble and our own energy and our own thoughts, our own intuition and the gifts that spirit and our higher self, our intuition is giving us. You're so right. It's it's needed. Turn off. I mean, we're even talking about the TV right now, but we're talking about how we process through the TV, not necessarily numbing out through the TV, right? There's a whole like we can we can look at the negative side of TV, or we can look at like what you were talking about, how you're utilizing that as a tool to process, to see yourself, to get the information you need, versus like all day, every day you're you're just sitting. They're numbing out on these on these shows that mean nothing.

Speaker 3 44:03

Right, because you're not abusing it, right? You're utilizing it as a tool where I feel like even though AI videos can be funny, they can also be scary. But what are you doing? You're literally numbing yourself out, abusing its power versus engaging and building. Yeah.

unknown 44:24

Yeah.

Speaker 3 44:25

It's not, it's not authentic. And I think that's where I've really struggled with social media over the last couple of years, is it's not authentic anymore. Like I was talking to my girlfriend this morning, and I told her it's like, I really just wish I could go back to just posting a picture of my food. I just want to let everybody know what I'm having for dinner. That's real. It's like I want, I want to let everybody know what I'm having for dinner tonight. What are you having for dinner tonight? Show me what's your recipe? Like, and I know there's a whole niche of like people that, you know, you can follow them for food recipes and stuff like that. But like, I just want to see it, you know. I don't want the, I don't want all I just want to see it. I just want to want to be happy. I want, I want to take a picture of the sun. But then there, there that goes again, right? Like, I don't want to get on social media to feel the in authenticity to post a picture to make the change. Yeah. Because it's like, no, I'm just gonna bask in it right now. Even like with everybody going to Coachella, that's all I saw was like everybody going through and and recording, and they weren't even they weren't even watching the performance.

Speaker 45:37

Yeah, it's like how are you?

Speaker 3 45:40

Yeah, it's like how are you in the present moment if you are holding up a phone witnessing it in for why so that you could post it online so someone can validate you and say how cool you are because you went to it. Okay, but you weren't really there.

Speaker 45:54

Yeah, it's a wild world we're living in. I saw a video of like this is high school in the 90s, and nobody was on a cell phone. Everyone was like, you know, they're sitting at their desk or they're at their lockers or they're outside and they're all like talking and laughing, dancing and playing and interacting. And my heart just, oh, I just felt my heart. There was this mixture of sadness and this mixture of like palpitations of like, I'm so in love with this. Like, ugh, right? Like to see everybody mingling together in that way, no cell phones, it just uh it's sad because it's like we're we're we have to create that ourselves. And then also, you know, like you said, there's there's times when our cell phones are tools and and it's great to have them and we can't demonize them, but also they can't become everything, and they have they've become everything.

Speaker 3 46:46

No, they have it's like a lifeline for some people.

Speaker 46:48

Yeah.

Speaker 3 46:49

Ryder Ryder said it perfectly last week, where he said, Mom, I think you want to raise us like how you were raised, outside, having a good time, going outside and playing, meeting people like your neighbors down the street because they're out riding their bicycle, or like you build that connection just genuinely. He was like, It doesn't work that way anymore.

Speaker 2 47:10

Yeah.

Speaker 3 47:11

He was like, and I think you're really struggling with this is how you were raised, these are your beliefs, and you're kind of shunning what is how the world has evolved. And to hear my 14-year-old, almost 15-year-old say that it's like slow-year-old our buddy. But it's true. It's so true. It is true. It's like, so how do I incorporate it while still having still having my beliefs and having the kids having the kids, you know, do what they're doing, playing outside, being in the dirt, helping around the house, whatever the case may be, meeting people organically in person versus everything is social. And and the reason why I'm bringing this up is because when I went to get my lashes done, he came with me, and there was uh her nephew, I think, or brother-in-law, I don't know, they're the same age, came in and right on him, hit it right off the bat. And it was like, that's organic. Yeah. Versus when he's at school, all of these other kids are like so in their phone. He's like, Mom, it's crazy, they're all on their phone. And nobody asked for phone numbers anymore, right? Like, I couldn't wait for somebody to ask for my phone number and be like, let me give you my landline, you know? And so it's like, because my I had a different phone number than like my parents did, like, even though it's still a landline. Cause my dad got tired of you know, people calling the house late at night. And so I like couldn't wait for that moment where now kids don't even get to experience that because they're like, Oh, well, what's your Instagram? Yeah, what's your handle? Yeah, and writers like, writer's like, I have to tell them I don't have an Instagram. He's like, So, mom, how do I connect? Because I don't want to give people my phone number that I don't know. Yeah, and it's like that's true. But back in my day, it was like, you want it, you got it. You know, but it was different because we were seeing each other, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 49:08

And what about like the good old days where you're like, uh, hi, you know, hi, Mr. Like you then you're like, hi, Mr. Romo, can I talk to Brianna? And you're like, no, I don't want to have to call. Her dad's gonna answer the phone. Like, I remember those days. They don't have to do that shit these days, and they should really don't.

Speaker 3 49:29

They should have to. And I think so too. I remember having to call. I went, I would just be like, I remember having to put on, like, I would call it my telemarketer voice. So I'd be like, hi, this is free. And it was always so high pitched, and my mom would be like, huh, you know, like making fun of me. Yeah. Because I didn't talk like that. But it's like you wanted to present yourself in such a good way to whoever you were calling. Like you didn't want them to be like, oh, this kid is trouble, like, can't even have respect and be like, call me missus or you know what I mean? And it's like that voice, okay.

Speaker 50:09

I have to share this with it. So this is so silly. So I made a I still have that customer service voice. So I'm calling my all-state insurance, right? And I have this something like they they answer the phone and it's totally also customer service voice. And then me, customer service voice, hi, this is Katie Robinson. I needed to da-da-da-da-da.

Speaker 1 50:26

And the person on the phone is like, her whole voice shifted, and she goes, Hey, Katie, it's so and so. And I was like, Oh, hey, and we're like, was this hilarious? Because we both had this customer service voice. Then we realized we knew each other and our tones, everything all shifted. It was like, Hey, Katie, hey, it's it's so-and so I'm like, Oh, hi. Like, excuse my customer service voice first. I'm like, this is hilarious. We both had different voices. Now we know each other and it's so different.

Speaker 2 50:54

It's like when you call the doctor's office, it's like you put on the customer service voice too.

Speaker 50:59

Yeah, but they don't, it's such a different world. And I think, you know, you're right, we have to to shun it. Like, not that saying that you're doing anything wrong, but like when your son said you're shunning it, it's like if we shun it too much, we we do, we are gonna miss some of the connection because this is the way the world's going. But also we need to bring back, um, you know, like we're talking about that connection. Astrology's saying it, we're saying it, people of the, you know, that are older, we all see it and we know it and we want it back. We want that connection that we probably maybe many of us took for granted. And now that it's gone, we see how beautiful it was. And and that's where we're we're moving. We need that connection, yeah. Our nervous systems need it, our communities need it. Like we we we need it.

Speaker 3 51:51

We do, and you can mix the two together, and that's what exactly that's what I've been trying to process. Like, we can meet together and do this together versus solo.

Speaker 52:05

Yeah, just like me hopping on that FaceTime call with my friend. It's like it felt like she was in the living room with me, but she wasn't. She was at her house, you know. So I think that's a brilliant way sometimes to use technology, or even like me calling my son who's in Texas and seeing, you know, my grandkids and his family were on FaceTime, we're using this tool, but we're not just, you know, like we're using it in a great way. We can see each other, we can feel each other, I can see in his eyes. He saw me when I had a tear in my eye and called me out on it, you know. Like that's how that's how much you can connect. So I agree. We we we blend these worlds together, but we again that's just my hope and my wish is that people let themselves receive support, find that connection, find your people and dig in deeper with each other because we need it, the world needs it.

Speaker 3 52:54

I agree. I agree.

Signs You Are In Freeze

Speaker 3 52:59

I don't think we talked about this, but with circling back to the beginning, when when you had said like that was grief, did we answer how someone knows when they're in it?

Speaker 53:17

Um, I don't know. It's a good question. For me, every time that I so I'll just give examples, every time I've recognized I'm in functional freeze, it's it's really flavored with overwhelm. I'm overwhelmed and I don't know how to move forward. And so then I just don't move forward. I, you know, and that's the freeze. That's the moment when I and I think we can do that quickly and move out of it, and I think we can stay in that overwhelm and that confusion for a long time. And to me, so doesn't that's that functional freeze? It's like you're still you're still going through your life, but you're not moving forward in a way that actually handles these things.

Speaker 3 53:59

So if you had to compare functional freeze to something, would it be burnout? Yeah.

Speaker 54:09

Yeah. And it would be kind of that feeling of like I said earlier, one foot on the pedal, one foot on the brake. You know you want to move forward, so there's this part of you that's urging you forward, and then you have this other part of you that's putting on the brake, and then through that you're spinning so much that you burn out. Yeah.

Speaker 3 54:25

Okay. I just wanted I just wanted to make sure that you know we addressed it because I feel like it popped up in my mind. If you haven't caught on, Katie and I peeing everywhere, um, that's how we that's how we do things, but we always come back, yeah. And for me, it's like I feel like people, like I said earlier, don't know what freeze even is to know when they're in it. And so I wanted like a word, and what I had kept seeing was like a car that was doing a burnout. And it's like, oh, I wonder if that's what someone could compare it to, is like you've had a burnout, and that would be a signal to you that yeah, you have been in freeze.

Speaker 55:08

Yeah, or another good one, and like I'm not a pro at this by any means. I'm still working through it. It's been like what two years now, I think, that I've been really diving into functional freeze. Um, but one of the other feelings is playing dead when you play dead to something, right? So, like when you're in fight or flight, you're either gonna fight, you're gonna run, or you're gonna play dead, which is the freeze. If you play dead, right, now the animal doesn't want you anymore. Now it kind of sniffs you and it walks away and you're okay. Well, that's kind of like what we're doing with life. It's like I'm just gonna play dead. So I'm gonna pretend like it doesn't exist. I'm gonna pretend like it's not happening, and I'm playing dead to that thing. So to me, that's another signal that's like, oh my gosh, I'm freezing up here. Like, and you know, the thing that I do, the other thing I learned, which is fascinating, is often we, at least for me, my go-to would be like, okay, well, I'm gonna meditate. Like, I I'm I'm frozen, I can't seem to create movement, so I'm gonna sit down in stillness and meditate and go within. That's actually not always the best route. So I was meditating, it was causing more freeze. When you're in freeze, you need movement, you need action. So, but it, but that's I think the difficult part is that there's this part of it's like, okay, I need to move forward because that I need the action. I can't just sit here and meditate and go further into freeze, but then you still have this other part of you that won't let you move. And that's that is where I was at. And that was when I needed someone else to kind of witness what I was doing in that moment, reflect back to me and hold me while I untangled those two pieces. But I think just to answer your question, because I went off into a lot, is like when you notice you're playing dead to something, you are possibly in freeze.

Speaker 3 56:59

So when you say play dead, that doesn't mean I've neglected my dishes for 10 days, or does it?

Speaker 57:05

Uh, you could definitely be in freeze over housework. We see that a lot with people that it can feel like depression because when you get into freeze, uh, if you're in there for very long, you can move into depression. And so when you just neglect your house so much and you know you need to clean it and everything is really dirty and building up, you're possibly in freeze. Yeah.

Speaker 3 57:29

That makes sense. I do have moments like that. Because uh, the reason why I asked that was because I wanted to know if that was something that could be like for me personally, and plus something easy for people to witness is like I'm always cleaning, right? I always want to like move stuff out or do something, and then I'll have moments where it's like well, one of the things is is like I never have dishes in my sink before bed. And then I'll notice like, oh my god, there's been dishes in the sink for two days, and then it's like, where did I go? Like I don't beat myself up over it, but it's like well, what was I trying to pro and then there's times where I don't even want to figure out what I was trying to process. It's just like, okay, let's just put that, let's just get it clean.

Speaker 58:13

Yeah.

Speaker 3 58:13

And then I start noticing that I start feeling better. But then I also go into this where it's like when the dishes are that way, and I do know that I've kind of checked out and not in like a a good checkout, just like shut down essentially. Is um I have too much. Yeah, I need to just now I'm gonna clean it up, but I'm gonna get rid of these things so that this doesn't happen again.

Speaker 58:40

Yeah, well, and I think it's different levels because to me, what you're describing is you're very aware of your actions, you're very aware of like, hold up, I'm I'm doing something different. What's going on? Right. So I feel like you're at a level where you can really notice when you're going into that. And then there's levels of like, it's been it, you've been frozen for years. You could have possibly shut down, you know, at 10 years old, and this particular space in your body has been in freeze that long. And now you're full, you know, in your 40s and you're finally looking at it. So I think we're talking about many levels of it. And I think it's really beautiful that you can see, like immediately when you're going into some sort of freeze.

Speaker 3 59:23

Yeah.

Speaker 59:24

Not that it's not beautiful, you know, not that it's shameful when somebody else doesn't notice it. I don't mean that I just, you know, just reflecting to you that you notice you're not doing the dishes, you're noticing something's up with yourself, and then you, and then you can, you know, tackle it.

Inner Child Healing And Soul Return

Speaker 59:38

Where like for me, for me, this two-year-old part of me. So basically what happened is I I sat with my friend, and we just I I sat with that feeling, and then I go into that feeling, and I go deeper and deeper until I start to notice what am I feeling in this space. And it was my two-year-old self that was crying. I could hear my parents arguing. It felt like nighttime, so they probably thought I was asleep, and they were out there arguing, and I could hear them, and I wanted my mom to come in the room. And yet I also had this part of me that didn't want her to come in the room because I knew she was mad. So I could sense that she was mad. It was like, okay, I'm and what my friend helped me recognize is in that moment, my little nervous system needed someone to regulate me because when you're two years old, you can't regulate yourself. So I wanted my mommy to come in and regulate me. And then this other part was like, no, she can't come in, she's angry. I can feel that she's angry. And then I've never felt this before. So this is what was so very fascinating is I could also feel myself like miles away from my body, and it was her that helped me recognize oh, you disassociated. The feeling was too big. They're crying. I don't know what to do. I want my mommy, but I don't want my mommy. And then I disassociated. I actually left my body in that space. And so there was a part of me that froze up right there and has been frozen since I was two years old.

Speaker 3 1:01:03

Okay, so question with this. This is very interesting. And I got chills when you were talking about it, but then I had another thought. So I'm sorry to cut you off. But when you disassociate, right? You said you left her there and she was frozen there. My question is do you feel that emotion or do you grab that soul fragment back to yourself and nurture it?

Speaker 1:01:31

My answer to that is feeling it is grabbing it. So what was happening in that moment when she was helping me is that my brain was like, Oh, well, of course I disassociated. My parents are crying, or I mean my parents are arguing and I understand why they're arguing. She's like, No, no, no, get out of your brain, go back to the feeling. And so she kept re she kept bringing me back to the feeling of like, well, I'm numb right now. Yeah, that's the part of me that disassociated, and like I can feel her far away. And now I want to cry. And so I cried. And then I had some trembling and some shaking, and then I had some moments where I wanted to like be mad at my parents, like, why couldn't you get it together and come in there and and love me and stop this? And then there was a part of me that's well, of course they can't. They were going through something, and she'd be like, No, for right now, don't give your parents the benefit of the doubt. For right now, sit with the emotion, sit with the pain. And so I kept trying to disassociate from that feeling in that moment. And she's like, No, stay with the feeling. And then what happened? So, this is kind of that moment, it was like she she's so good at this. I'm gonna give her name and information because she's somebody who does this. She helps children, she helps parents, and she helps inner children. But in that moment, she said, What happens if you let somebody come in and hold her? Not my mom, though, right? Because I didn't want my mom. I but I needed somebody to come in, and instantly my great grandma came to my mind. And I said, I could let my great grandma come in. So in that moment, I felt my grandma come in and I saw her pick up the two-year-old and love her. And then I had more crying and more trembling, and because you're you're getting that charge out of your body, you're coming back to your body, right? And so when my grandma was holding me, I was having these emotions. But what I think is so fascinating is it went level by level by level because pretty soon my grandma was there, which is one level closer to me, right? Great grandma was there, and then grandma was there, and so she like passed me off to grandma, and then um Mandy is her name. She was like, Well, what if I held her? And I was like, Yes, I would, I would like that very much. And so it was another step closer to me, right? Is here's Mandy. So Mandy's holding her because at one point it was like, Yeah, just go get her and love her. And I said, No, I don't want her. And that what came out of me so organically, I was like, Oh my god, so you didn't want to hold you. I didn't want to hold her. I didn't want to hold, I didn't want to hold me. And that was what I was healing because in my life I've been needing to make some changes, and what's coming up is this voice that's like, no, I don't want this body, I don't want you, so I don't want to care for you because to care for you means I have to own you and I don't want you. And that kept coming up, and I was like, what is this? Of course I want me. Like my current self was like, of course I want you. Of course I want this body, of course I love being alive. I love this life. But this part of me, this wound, this trauma was so loud, it was saying, No, I don't want you. So that was the foot on the gas and the foot on the brake. The part of me that's like, yeah, let's move forward and take care of myself was was on the gas pedal. And then the part of me, this wound that was like, I don't know what to do with her. She's too much. She's crying, she needs help. I don't know what to do with her. I don't want her. But what I'm a new mom, I can't do this. Yeah. So what that was was the part of me in the crib that didn't have my mom to help me regulate, and it was too much. So I was like, this feeling is too much. Take her away. And I disassociated in that moment, and I went into freeze in that moment. And so when Mandy took her, she I could, I had again another layer of release, another layer of feeling. And all of a sudden, I said, I want her, give her to me. And then that was a moment of like more deep, it's gonna make me cry right now, it's like more deep tears. It was like, there you are. And I didn't feel a mile, I didn't feel like a million miles away anymore. So that piece that was anchored in, so you could call it soul retrieval, right? You could call inner child healing, you can call it coming out of freeze, all these terms would be correct. But in that moment, instead of that piece of me being a million miles away, I finally let her back in. And then what is fascinating, which I've been telling you about this, is I've been doing things around my house that I have been an overwhelm and free. And not doing for years now, all of a sudden I'm taking care of these things with ease. I'm adding different things into my diet with ease. I'm taking care of myself and my life with ease because this part of me is no longer really loud and saying, I don't want her, I don't want this life, I don't want this body, this is, I don't want these feelings, this is all too much. So I could have, I couldn't have ever healed this by just saying, just do it, Katie. Just do it, just get up and do it. No, I don't want to get up and do it because the wound was so loud that said, I don't want any of this, so I'm just gonna play dead. And then once I move through the feelings, these actions are coming with ease. I'm just doing them. And I couldn't do them for years. It's so fascinating to me. Every time I do any type of healing like this, it's fascinating because it's like, I've been trying to do this for so long. Why is it happening so easily now? But then, like you said, this all also came in very in alignment with astrology and what's shifting right now in the stars. So it was divine timing to tackle this wound and to want myself again in that spot.

Speaker 3 1:07:13

Because Jan, I would I would have to look at your chart too, just to piggy off of that, because we have Chiron, which is the wounded healer in Aries. And I don't remember what your degree was or not, but that would also be healing that emotion as well.

Speaker 1:07:30

Yeah. And and whenever a wound is getting louder and louder and louder because it's ready to be healed, you become that wound. So I was that little two-year-old that didn't know what to do with myself and had no one to tell me what to do with myself, no one to regulate me. So I was just becoming more and more, I was becoming this two-year-old. And of course, you go back and forth, right? I'm back into this part of me that that's okay, and I'm taking care of my life, and I want to move forward. And then this wound is like, no, you don't. No, you don't, and you don't know what the hell to do, and you're overwhelmed and you're you're freaking out. And it can feel like it doesn't make any sense. But the truth is, it does make sense. That wound is calling for you to heal it. And I needed someone else to sit with me because if I'm that two-year-old in that crib, I can't do it alone. I need somebody who's regulated. That was Mandy. She was regulated and loving and present to help me come out of that and regulate myself in that space.

Speaker 3 1:08:34

Having having this happen, how are you feeling now?

Speaker 1:08:40

Now I feel, I would say, like my normal self again, where I'm like, I'm eating the breakfast that I want to eat because it feels good and healthy to me instead of fighting it. I'm taking care of, like, I had these rubber-made tubs full of pictures that were my mom's. They were in my office and I felt overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do with them. And so I let them sit there for years, causing overwhelm. And all of a sudden, I went through them, they're taken care of, it's done. And I didn't have to push myself to do it. I naturally felt the call to do it because I moved out of that freeze. And fascinating enough, right? These are my mom's tubs of my pictures of when I was a child. So it's like, well, of course I didn't want to dig into that because I had to look at myself and see myself, and I didn't want her. I didn't want her at all. And that's not true. I love myself, I love my inner child, and I want my body, and I want this life, and I want these emotions, but that part of me didn't, and I had to, I had to finally face her to heal that. Because that's what was alive in me, right? That it wasn't me searching for that, it was this is what's in the way of me moving forward, and I have to sit with it and feel it. I didn't go searching for it. I went to what is alive right now and what needs my attention right now.

Speaker 3 1:10:04

That's what I love though, because it isn't we go deep just in general, right? When when anything little pops up, we always tend to look at ourselves, right? And and heal or fix or look at and dive deep into what is happening from that trigger or whatever, right? The fact that you said, just what do I need right now is so beautiful to me. Because I feel like a lot of people will do that, where it's like, okay, this is what's happened. I've I've done it, I'm sure everybody has done it, where it's like, okay, this is popping up. I need to work on this, and then you end up bringing it and in some cases, sometimes you do have to dig up a lot from the past, but it isn't right now, right? Then you get lost in the mix of it, which makes it harder to heal, to move forward, because now you're just grabbing all of this other stuff versus dealing with what it is right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1:11:05

Yeah. So unless you go digging, you'll find anything, you'll find a million things to heal if you go digging. But then you're just opening up all these things, and it's not what needs to be done right now. And if you follow your, that's the thing is your emotions are brilliant. The stories you're telling yourself are brilliant because they point to the exact thing that you need to face. But what I think is fascinating, like I said, is I've been trying to face it alone and I couldn't see it because I was disassociated, right? Like I was numb in that spot. I needed somebody to hold a mirror up to help me see it. Um, yeah, otherwise I was just spinning in my own thoughts. That's why sometimes you need a healer or you need a friend or you need somebody because the mirror is there and you see yourself clearly. Where before you kind of get lost in the wound, you get lost in the stories, you get lost in the emotions, and now you're out in the middle of the ocean again. You know, and you're like, you need someone to bring you to shore where you're standing on solid ground.

Speaker 3 1:12:05

It's so funny because you're not there yet, but I'm gonna tell you this. But you'll learn that about Dean is he wants to do it all alone. Ah, okay, okay. Yeah. So as you were talking, I just remembered this one. Well, it was, I want to say like half of the season. And it's like you look at him and you're like, Oh my god, you have your brother, you know what I mean? And so it's like, but no, when you're in that place, like you literally just feel like you can't.

Speaker 1:12:41

Uh-huh. That's so beautiful. Yeah, me too. I think that's fascinating, right? Because of course I'm gonna see this, like, that's why I needed this show right now. But I think that's the piece too of like now that I have more people in my life that can hold me and support me, and everyone has different different ways of doing that, right? So, like, I can go to you for some things, and then I have another friend that that this for some reason this person has a a different reflection that I need. And then you go to this person, right? Like, I think it's beautiful to have these connections I have in my life right now because it had Mandy not sensed that and said, Hey, I can feel something in you, let's hop on a call, I might not have moved through that. Not in that way, maybe it would have came later, but it was her reflection and her invitation that I was like, Oh my gosh, yeah, let's do it. Because I can feel that too a little bit. I can feel something in me. I was ready and and she was there. And I think that's like you said, if I had just been on my phone and been like, no, no, it's like the universe dropping that coin, right? I could have said no to her, and I didn't. I said yes.

Speaker 3 1:13:50

And and I have and now watch like all of these opportunities that are gonna come in. I feel because whenever we go through something big like this, right? And we allow somebody in, there's such a huge shift that happens afterwards. Yeah. There's so much magic. It's like, oh my gosh, like even for us, like we, you know, just some day-to-day things. I haven't, I haven't, I've been going through things, but not things that I want to share, you know. Yeah. But like little things is, you know, us doing movement in the yard and then finding all of those snail shells. Like, yeah, and what are we doing? And it it goes with some things that I, you know, I don't want to share, but it's like it was all connected where it's like, oh my gosh, I am coming into myself. I am reclaiming my home, right? And not my home four walls, but my body, my home. Yeah. And who I am. And it is okay. We are gonna outgrow just like snails do, right? Or I get I don't know if snails grow out of their shells like crabs do, but like, do they do that?

Speaker 1:15:04

Yeah, I don't know, but it makes I I get your analogy with like you have all these homes that they've either outgrown or they died and moved to another body, which is another home, right? Like either way, they're not in that old home again, any right now.

Speaker 3 1:15:17

No, it's like the the circle of life, you know, you just keep evolving and growing, and even though something may be really hard, it's like you get these signs always that are like, no, you're okay. Yeah, it's gonna be okay.

Speaker 1:15:31

Yeah. I know, I love it. And that's like your whispered thread, right? Is the snail shells and see like, oh, I am moving into a new home in myself, right? I am creating a new home within me. I am releasing things that don't feel like home anymore. I know, I gosh, the animal kingdom nature, it will always give you the threads you need.

Speaker 3 1:15:52

100%. I love animals, I love nature more than I love people, and I'm not upset to say that, you know what I mean? But it's like it's true. And but just like you, right? Like you healed this aspect, you had somebody there, so that you can't step into this new identity of you and open up the doors, which is so beautiful. Yeah, thank you. It could be, I guess what I'm trying to say is it can happen on an emotional level and an internal level, and it can also show up externally. And I don't know if that's just how I move through things, just through external things, not for validation, but just like I have to be in it and then witness it. And then it's like, oh my gosh, yes, this is what I've been working through. Yeah, this is exactly what I needed. And then just to feel back in your body.

Speaker 1:16:46

It makes me think of that like as within, so without, right? As above, so below. Like it's it's it's all intertwined so intricately and so beautifully that when you do you go out and you look externally, you witness things, you see things, you bring it in, you work on it. It's just a continuous dance.

Speaker 3 1:17:04

Yeah, I love it. A beautiful life of magic that we get to create around us.

Speaker 1:17:11

Yes, yeah. Yeah.

Resources And Asking For Support

Speaker 1:17:17

So I do want to drop a couple things as we kind of move to close here. One, if you want to work with somebody who really understands functional freeze and somatics, holistic life navigation on Instagram, amazing. He even goes into like what foods to eat to help your body from like being overstimulated or too depressed and move into safety. So his work, because like I said, I'm I'm navigating this myself, so I'm not a pro at it. I'm seeing all the places for quite a few years now where I go into functional freeze. Um, side note, even my migraines, like you and I have talked about this. I suffer from migraines, those were a form of freezing up because when I go into the migraine, I can shut out the whole world and play dead. So the more that I understood my where how I freeze up and how I go into overwhelm, my migraines have been getting less and less and less. So holistic life navigation, Luis Mohica is a great resource for anyone that wants to dive deeper into this and have someone that actually, you know, knows more than I do about it or that you do. Yeah. And then the other thing.

Speaker 3 1:18:25

Well, and it's a perfect time to do that too, because right now, with everything being in fire and then being the year of the fire horse, a lot of people who are gonna need more regulation in general.

Speaker 1:18:37

Yeah, I agree. And then the other resource that you can look up is Mandy, um, a felt life parenting is her handle. Um, she that's her website. She helps. So if you're a parent who wants to help your children with their emotions, wants to help yourself move through regulation, she is a great resource, also. And I will actually put these in our um the description of the episode so that people can have these, so you guys can have this. But those are the two resources that I would recommend for somatics and um moving through freeze.

Speaker 3 1:19:14

I'm gonna need to look her up for me.

Speaker 1:19:17

Yeah, Mandy J is her name on Facebook, and then a felt life parenting. And she actually has a partner that does it with her. His name is Brian, and they offer sessions where you can have both of them present. So sometimes it feels like, right, like when she's sitting there, like you have, I wouldn't call her a mommy, but it feels like a mom figure helping you move through your emotions. And then when he's there too, you have like a dad figure. Not that they're taking over those roles, but they're holding that divine masculine and that divine feminine. And so if you've never had both of your parents on the same page and you want to feel that, they can kind of um bring that energy in a space where you have both the masculine and feminine supporting you. So I I and I've been in a space with them with that before, and it was life-changing.

Speaker 3 1:20:06

Yeah, just to feel held by both energies.

Speaker 1:20:09

Yeah. And the other shout out I could give you is Breana. It's you because if you want to do some ancestral work, that she's she's your lady, she's your woman. She can help you understand the ancestral blockages or patterns, things that are in the way, because some of this functional freeze absolutely comes from our ancestors. Um, and so Brianna is a is a fabulous um magic worker, whatever the word you mean.

Speaker 3 1:20:43

You can't leave yourself out though, because you're so good at feeling. You really are.

Speaker 1:20:48

Yeah, I definitely have ways to support people too, with soul retrieval and um looking at at patterns and then holding you through the emotions.

Speaker 3 1:20:56

Yeah, but even inner child, like you're amazing at inner child.

Speaker 1:21:01

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I can look right at your inner child and they'll tell me what's wrong. Um, so sometimes those places where you don't know yourself, I can be a great um channel for that to help you see like what she's believing, what he or she's believing in that moment.

Speaker 3 1:21:17

And don't get mad at her. Because let me tell you, when I had my last session, I already felt her swirling around in my heart space. And I text her and was like, I already know it's my damn heart. And I didn't even want that. And it was like, no, we're not doing this. So don't fight it because it's needed. I always feel so much better afterwards.

Speaker 1 1:21:38

But yeah, if we go right to the to the right to the place that needs to be seen. So you like in right there. I do, I really do.

Speaker 1:21:49

Let's just go in and do it. That's I think why it's so hard for me in my own life when I'm in freeze or when I can't see it. Cause I'm like, come on, let's just look at it. And then I'm like hiding from myself. Yeah, this is too hard for us. It is, it is. But yeah, we great, we we've just given you four great resources to reach out for help. You don't have to do this alone, but also reach out to your friends, to your family, to to the people that can help you. Don't go, side note, don't go to the place that you got the wound in the first place. I feel like we tend to do that. We go to the source of the wound and expect change, and that's not always where it can happen. So um reach out to somebody that you know can see you and hold you and be with you. Yeah. Well, we we do it, I feel, because it feels familiar and safe. And it seems like, well, that's where it happened. Let's go there and like let's clean this up. But that you sometimes you can't. So so use your discernment, right? Use your intuition, not just your brain and where you think you need to go, you know. That would be my suggestion. Yeah.

Speaker 3 1:23:02

And have others see and hold and support you through it. Yes, you don't have to do it. Build that community. Yes. I agree.

Listener Invitation And Closing

Speaker 1:23:13

Are we ready for over and out? It feels like we are. It feels like it's coming to a natural completion. Thank you everybody for listening, for tuning in. As always, the invitation is open to um to send your reflections or ask your questions or you know, anything you want us to dive into, we are here.

Speaker 3 1:23:33

Over and out.