Sugar Jar Magic

Ever had a day where your mood crashes, your chest feels tight, your thoughts start racing, and you can’t tell if it’s stress or something you “picked up”? We get into the gritty reality of being an empath and a feeler: how energetic cords form with people we love, how collective energy can flood our system, and why your body often sounds the alarm before your mind has the story.

We talk about returning to the body through energetic hygiene and discernment, especially for sensitive people who want to stay intuitive without becoming everybody’s emotional container. We unpack the difference between a clean intuitive hit and an attachment that pulls you into fixing, rescuing, or obsessing. You’ll hear practical language for what “cord cutting” can look like when it’s grounded and loving, not dramatic or hostile, plus why protective walls and bubbles can help in public but become a problem when they never come down.

From there, we move into tools. Breana shares how she works with visualization, boundaries, and simple magic like a sugar jar to sweeten her own energy when the collective feels heavy. Katie shares a powerful question for emotional boundaries: if you knew they were never going to change, what do you need right now? We also connect the dots between codependency, self gaslighting, nervous system regulation, co regulation with partners and animals, and the astrology threads that shape how we cope, especially Chiron in Taurus and themes of self worth.

If this resonates, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share the episode with a sensitive friend, and leave a review to help more empaths find the tools. What part of this conversation hit you the hardest?

***Disclaimer: This podcast is a space for storytelling, intuitive insight, and shared experiences with Spirit. The content provided is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice.

We are not acting as licensed professionals, and nothing shared here should be taken as a substitute for professional care or guidance. Always seek the support of a qualified provider for your individual needs.

By listening, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own choices, interpretations, and actions.

Transcript

Welcome And Safety Disclaimer

SPEAKER_01 0:06

A whispered thread podcast where intuition, astrology, and laughter collide. This isn't your love and light playground. It's real, it's raw, and it's right now. We are your hosts, Brianna and Katie.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Go grab a cup of tea and get ready to snuggle into your soul. This podcast is a space for shared stories, intuitive insight, and connection with spirit. Everything we offer is from our personal experience and perspective. It's not medical, psychological, or professional advice. Please use your own discernment and seek support from a qualified professional when needed.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Welcome back to a new episode.

Returning To Your Body Again

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Today's theme is an extension of last week's episode where we talked a little bit about Chiron and Taurus and returning to our bodies. And for some of us, this means that we are practicing being in our own body and letting go of others.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

Yes. I feel like this is a big, honestly, a big topic, right? For anyone who's sensitive, anyone who um, you know, if you're a feeler, if you are maybe not having good energetic hygiene. So we have a lot of a lot of ways we want to talk about this today. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Okay, so I'll go. So something that I've been experiencing, well, something that I've worked on for a couple years, right? Is I when I love somebody, I really like allow, and I don't purposely do it. I don't think we purposely do it, but I allow a cord of my energy to stay in them, right? And so now I'm feeling all of them. And it's like, okay, something's going on. And then my body feels it. And it's like, why am I feeling this way? Like a couple weekends ago, I can't throw up TMI, but I can't after my gallbladder was taken out, and I threw up and I was like, what the heck is this? And then I was on the phone with my dad, and he was like laughing about it, and he was like, Oh, well, so did I. And I had something stuck, and I was like, ah, shit. Like, I gotta take that cord out again, right? And so I was like, okay, right. I I was able to do that and then get back into my own body. But another thing that I've now been noticing a lot more is my energy has been expanding, and so I'm feeling a lot more collective energy than I normally would. And now it's like I wake up and I'll feel it, and it's like, oh, I don't want to feel this. So I'm like having to sit with myself to really disconnect from the collective and just try keeping it in my own little bubble. So like keeping it the same size, but allowing a bigger bubble around so that I'm not feeling the collective energy and being able to pull it back in to just have it being me instead of you know, dad or Katie or mom or writer or all of these people that we love. And now that I've gotten to a really good place where I'm not tied to other people, and I've I think honestly it just came from like consciousness, right? And also having my spiritual hygiene where I've talked about it, you know, you take a shower, you release your day, you call back your energy, you give back others' energy, and then stepping it out into your own. And now I'm a lot quicker in noticing whether I'm still attached to somebody or somebody's still, you know, or they're trying to tap into me or figure out what I'm doing, if that makes sense. Now it's more of like a collective level where it's like, how do I I'm part of the collective? How do I not allow all of this to come into me? Yeah. And that's where, you know, for some it gets kind of tricky, especially for us feelers, right? Like it's hard not to feel it, but it's like take that time to distinguish is it yours or is it collective or what is it, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

So really what because I think this is an important piece, we're not trying to shut off, right? We want our intuition. So you want that hit on what's happening with the collective if you need to know it. You want that hit maybe on like what's happening with your family member if you need to know it, or even I wouldn't, I I guess shouldn't say if you need to know it, but you don't want to shut it off because you might need to know it, right? Like so we want to stay open to our intuitive energy, but when we notice it's taking over and it's you know, now our inner world is like reorganizing itself around them or around the collective energy, then we're like, whoa, I've just taken this on, it's in my body. Where am I?

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

So then, like you said, you're getting you're getting quicker at noticing, oh, this isn't mine, and then coming back to yourself, right? Because you've been practicing it for so long. Yeah. So it's a practice, right? We have to like become aware, and then like you said, you're becoming aware quicker. We have to have some tools to use to move through

Walls, Bubbles, And Screen Doors

SPEAKER_00 5:30

it, but we can't just shut it off because then we're numb or we're shutting off our intuition. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

So one of the things that I used to do is I would have a wall. Like I wouldn't picture the wall, right? My intention was always, okay, I'm going in, I'm gonna bubble myself so that I don't feel anything. Like when I go, like only when I go out in public, because you know, people ing. It's like that one where it's like, uh, people, that's how I get, and so it's like too much. And so I would bubble myself, then I switch to the screen door where I would just let it move through me because obviously we still need information from people to learn and grow, like strangers even. And I was kind of guarding myself too much from that, right? And I was never aware that I had this wall until you told me I had a wall. And I was like, a wall, what are you talking about? You're like, you're like too overprotecting yourself, like you have to like break down the wall. And I'm like, fuck no, I'm not breaking down the wall. Like, I like my wall. And every now and then I'll notice, like, if I've peopled too much, if I've like, if I've had a busy week, and then on top of it, I've had to people, right? It's like that wall automatically comes up. But for me, I've recognized that that wall is just so that I can take time out to remember who I am, where my body's at, where my energy's at. And then eventually the wall just like dissolves on its own now, you know?

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Well, that's beautiful because really what you're saying is you have an internal um, you know, like protective mechanism that's like, whoa, I'm getting overwhelmed. There's too much happening here. I have to put some separation up. And so it kind of comes up now when you need it. Yeah. Versus like always having like, oh, I gotta put up this bubble, I gotta put, right? Or I gotta put up this bubble. There's such a different feeling. I think that's really beautiful that it comes up when you need it. Because we there are times we're like, okay, whoa, right? Like put me in a padded room.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Yeah, this is too much.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

It's so funny you brought that up because Lewis has said, I can't have your mom looking too good because she's gonna leave me for Dean Winchester. I said, No, babe, if you listen to last week's episode, you would know that it's only if you put me in a mental institute will I leave you because he's gonna come and save me. Great.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

So you're never gonna get that now.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Mm-hmm. I know.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

But yeah, yeah, that makes sense that it comes up for you naturally. And when so do you notice now when the wall comes up?

SPEAKER_01 8:11

You notice Um, it depends on the situation. I do notice that if it's more collective energy, it I'll notice it and the wall comes down fairly quickly. But if I'm going through something emotional and my whole body's feeling it, and my and I don't know what emotion it is, nine out of ten times I don't know that it's up until you ask me if I'm okay. Or if I have people like, hey, are you okay? And I'm like, dude, I'm fine. Why is everybody tripping out about me? And then that's when it clicks, and I'm like, oh shit, the wall's up.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Yeah. Which makes sense, right? Because I feel like when we're feelers and the emotions come in, it can take a minute to it's like, whoa, okay, I'm getting fuller, I'm getting fuller, right? Like we don't really know yet sometimes what to do. And then these natural, you know, mechanisms come up, and then we

When Emotions Are Not Yours

SPEAKER_00 9:10

can just yeah, emotions are harder. That's the arena I'm in. So even I'm a little stumbling over my words because that's the place that I'm at. It's like I can do all the energetic hygiene I want, right? I can do all these different things. But if my thoughts don't stop, now I've brought in more emotion. And then once the emotion comes in, it's like their water mixes with my water, and now all the water's mixed together, and I don't know what is happening. I don't know whose it is, you know, what's mine, what's theirs, what and sometimes it happens before I even realize I've taken on their stuff. So, like my practice has been really starting to look at my thoughts because then I'm noticing you have been in somebody else's energy for far too long. This is not yours, and that you know, so then I'm noticing the emotions. But I'm really raw and new with some of these layers, so this is like, yeah, this is kind of coming up for me like right now in life.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Emotions are hard, and you know, I we've talked about it, but I mean I didn't give myself space for emotions for a very long time. And then something would happen, right? Like I would have, you know, there were so many emotions that were for me. I used to. If I wasn't dealing with my emotions, something external would happen. So like the first time that I started working with emotions was when my grandma passed away, and then shortly after my dog died, and then my daughter was diagnosed with something, and then it was just like it's like geez and rice, you know, like let's just stop.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

I then I hit a coyote and my whole bumper is gone, you know?

SPEAKER_01 10:54

And then it's like, okay, Brianna, what the heck is going on? Right. And then I gotta check with myself, well, you've been ignoring all of these emotions where you've been placing it, your thoughts have been going crazy. You haven't been grounding, or even if I am grounding, I do it just bare minimum, right? Just to make it through the day. And then it was like, well, that's not enough. And then I'm not processing because my mind is like overload that eventually over the last like 10 years, I've learned to really be more mindful of that. And it's not coming from a place of fear, it's coming from being mindful because we don't want to experience that same pattern.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

So I didn't want to have somebody die and not process it. I didn't want to have, you know, some another death happen and then still carry it because it was too quick back to back. I don't want to hit my car again. You know what I mean? It's like a go back to that moment where it's like, what did I feel like in that moment? What how was my body trying to tell me like we need to deal with this? And nine out of ten times my brain was on an endless loop that was happening. And a lot of the times it wasn't even my, they weren't even my thoughts. Yeah. They were fear thoughts. And then it clicked to me where it was like, oh my gosh, all of my clients that I have had, I had a client that same year, somebody who was in a terrible car accident. They didn't hit a coyote, but they were in a terrible car accident. I had multiple people who lost their grandparents or loved one. I had all of these things were like starting to add up. And I remember coming home thinking, holy shit. And for me, I doodle and automatic write when I do my sessions. And for some reason, I would always keep them. Like I had stacks and stacks and stacks of journals that I refused to let go because what if they forgot? And like were like, Oh, do you remember what you said? And like for me, I can easily tap my pen back on my scrubble and know like what it is. And I was like, You have to get rid of these. And I was attached to so many people. I hadn't been in my body for I don't know how long.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah, all that energy that you kept from their sessions on the piece of paper, right? It was holding it in your space.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

In my room.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Where I sleep at night. And then on top of it, I had all of my stuff that I was going through. I hadn't let go of all of my clients to even begin to process the death that I had.

SPEAKER_00 13:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

And then let alone have another one, and then another one, and then hit a coyote, and then have it. It was like, oh my goodness. There's like, Brianna, we have to get rid of all of this. We need to feel ourselves.

Intuition Versus Attachment To Loved Ones

SPEAKER_01 13:50

And the wall did end up coming up so that I could actually process just my shit alone, not everybody else's. Yeah. And it was like, okay, here we go. This is where we're at now. I'm okay. I feel safe enough to like get out of the house now and just feel uh a sense of relief essentially, just to be back in my own energy. Yeah. There were still a couple people that obviously I I kept, right? Like my dad, mainly because my dad and I, you know, we're like best friends. So like, and he has a lot of medical things that he would always go through. So I wanted to know, like, okay, is dad okay? Or like grandpa, you know, it's like I wanted to make sure that he was okay. And then so I did keep people that I had seen were I had left a piece of me just to check in. And then it wasn't until like a couple years ago, actually, where I was like, no more. I don't want I want them to live their lives. Uh and if they want to tell me, they'll tell me. If their body's experiencing pain, I'll let them tell me that it's experiencing pain. I don't want to feel it in my body anymore.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

So I'm just curious. I want to challenge this a little bit, just for my own, you know, I I get so curious. So do you really have to leave a piece of them with you to be able to feel that? So since you've disconnected from your dad, you still feel it anyway, you're just feeling it differently. It comes in more of a message than a like a all of a sudden it's yours, right? Because I feel like the cord itself, if I'm in, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but it's almost like the cord itself transfers the energy before you even know it's transferred, versus maybe you're disconnected from them, you're not corded to them anymore, you didn't leave a piece with them, and now you just get the intuitive hit, right? Like, hey, I better check on dad, versus like you are becoming that immediately.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Does that make sense? No, it does. It it's a lot softer when it comes in when I'm not attached. Yeah. Versus when I was attached, I was getting it on all angles. And that's what you'd make my yeah, and then my brain would start going and going and going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Yeah. Because it's not yours. That's the piece that that's so fascinating is our brain can show us like if you're spinning out on somebody, like I had wrote down a couple points that have been coming out to me lately. So when you can't stop thinking about them, when you just want to help them and you feel like I gotta help them, I gotta help them, or when you can like you know exactly what they need to do, and you're kind of having the conversations in your head about like how to fix them and what they could do and where they need to go, right? Like, all of a sudden your brain is so focused on them, that is like a such a cue right there. It's like, whoa, I'm not in my own energy, I'm totally in their energy.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Right? So, like, and I think my point to this is when you're corded, it comes in like that so quickly, and all of a sudden you didn't even know that's what was happening, versus an intuitive hit that's like, hey, I might check on dad today, something feels off.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Well, see, with grandpa, that's how it was. I would just intuitively know. But with dad, it's always been different between us, where I know, but I also take on.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

And I didn't want that anymore. Not because I don't love him, right? Not because I don't know, like I don't want to know or don't care. No, I absolutely do, but it was affecting my body. And I know that it was affecting his too. I mean, f when I start my cycle, he feels it and he knows. And he tells my mom, sis is gonna start her cycle. Like it's crazy. And I didn't want that for him either. You know what I mean? It was like, we gotta cut it. Where now it is I'll get the soft, intuitive hit where it's like, okay, and then my brain isn't overthinking. I'm not trying to remove his energy. I'm not trying to go through the whole process of like, give it back to dad with love. Like, I know this is his, give it back to him with love. Like, I'm not, I was taking up so much energy without realizing it, and not just with dad, right? Multiple people, but he's easier to explain. That is like I I was saying, give it back, this isn't mine. I was taking a shower, I was doing this, I was doing this. No, no, no, no. I still wanted to keep us who we are because I love it when like I have a craving and he's already cooking it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And vice versa. Like, I love that. And I love that, like, when I am about to start my cycle and I get I'm not as bad anymore, but I used to be really bad with like PMS. And he would like be able to like ground me, right? Don't be such a brat to Lewis. Like, we know what's happening here, you know? And it's like, oh, you know, and then he's like, You're gonna start your and it's like, you're right, or like I enjoy those little intuitive hits that are like nudges between us. Like, I love those moments. I just didn't like how much energy I was spending on keeping the cord and having all of these things go through my body and the energy that I was essentially wasting removing it of my own. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

That's kind of what I meant earlier by like it's almost like when you're corded, it the whole the energy just comes in and floods your system, right? Before you even know that it did, and then you're you're recognizing it and having to clear it, versus an intuitive hit, a connection, right? A beautiful connection, the what you were just describing, you know, where you guys kind of like he's already cooking the food you're craving. That's such a clean, loving connection versus oh my god, I've just taken all this on now. I have to spend so much time clearing it. Yeah. I'd rather just want to, I would rather love on him than have it in here and have to clear it and spend all this energy. Yeah. Yeah. Fascinating because I don't think I've ever really looked at cords in this way because this makes so much sense to me, right? Because like I clear cords all the time, but I've never looked at it in this exact way. How it's like it's almost like turning on a faucet and leaving the faucet on, and it's just going back and forth, right? And so you're flooding yourself with this energy, and you could just disconnect it and trust your intuition that you'll know when you need to know. But you don't need to like you know, some of this comes from, especially like with your dad, right? I do the same thing with my mom because we're children, we're their children, we've lived our lives with them. There's such a deep connection, right? So I feel like with family members that can be that can happen uh easier. But then also we do it with our clients, right? If you're a reader like we are, you know, so we can do it with our clients too, or anyone that we love. But I really love this. And so for anyone out there that's like keeping cords because they think it's a good idea, right? Like, how about maybe reassess that? Yeah. You just trust your intuition and disconnect the cords.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Yeah. And it's not a negative thing, right? Because I know so I don't have TikTok. I got rid of it when people thought it was a cute idea to hex the moon back in like 2021 or something. That is like, yeah, no, I'm not a part of this. But I do remember seeing some things before I had gotten off that it was like they would do candle magic and like cord cutting, right? And they would do it that way. It's an that's not what I'm talking about. It's not a negative impact of removing a cord where you want to remove them from your life's forever. Like you don't, it has nothing to do with that. Like, for some reason, I feel like people may think that is what it is, but that's not what it is. It is we for me personally, when I I have a tight circle, right? Like I have you, I have a couple of friends, and then I have my family. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Because I like keeping my circle tight. There's less drama, there's less me worrying about so many people just because that's how I am. When I love you, I love you. And I used to put that cord there just to know that you were okay. Yeah. It's like, well, if she needs me, I'll know. Or if he needs me, I'll know. You know what I mean? This is coming from a place of of love. A little bit of codependency, if I'm gonna be completely honest. Yeah, that is codependent to keep the cord.

unknown 22:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

But I had to really work through codependency in order to get it off. That's why it took me so long to finally just say, okay, no, we're cutting it.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Like So what do you mean then? Because I I agree, I'm glad you clarified that that we're not talking about that way of cutting. But so how how do you specifically cut cords then?

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Like in

Cord Cutting Without Making It Dark

SPEAKER_01 22:45

this way. In this way, what I do is you know what it's gonna sound crazy, but do you know Hercules?

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

How the three witches are down there and they're like there's a string, a cord, and they cut it and it just falls apart. Yeah. I do the same thing. So I go the energetic part of it. Yeah. So I'll see well, I have to do the energy part for some reason before I feel safe to move forward.

unknown 23:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

So from that's just that's just how I have always worked. And so what I that's what I do, I literally picture the cord, I see who it's attached to, and then I cut it.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

And then it's like it falls away, and I envision, you know, the Hades little river that he has, and it goes down, and I'm like, we're good. And then what I do is I normally do it at night because then I'm able to fully process it, let let it go without overthinking it. And the next morning I just visualize a next step, a next step, a next step. And then when something pops up, like dad, you know, either Lewis or Dad or you, you guys would be like, oh, well, this happened, this happened, this happened. And I'll know then, like, okay, I'll I'll see the strain coming back, and it's like, no, no, no, no. Like, let's let and then I'll actually physically take a step. Like, I'm not repeating this. I'm gonna take an actual physical step and watch me moving forward from what's happening.

SPEAKER_00 24:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

So mine's more energetic, visual, but I'm also a very visual person. Like, but I'm a knower, right? So I'm a knower. I feel a lot, but I'm more of like a knower in a visual. And so for me, it's like, no, you need you know you need to take this next step in order to feel you've seen it, you've felt it, like now it's that action step of just making a different decision.

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Yeah. And cords come back, like, right? It's not, it's not like you do it once and you're done. And there's also nothing wrong with the cords coming back and forth. That's really like how energy works. But you don't want to keep them, you don't, right? Like you're becoming more aware of being corded. But it's so so for anyone who's like, oh my gosh, the cord came back, like, yeah, it's okay, and cut it again, right? Like it does there doesn't have to be a story, or or like you're not doing it right, or you're not good enough, right? Like all the things that can come up, or like, oh my gosh, I you know, I don't understand energy. Yeah, you do. It's just this is what happened.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

People can Yeah, because it's not a negative thing, and I think honestly, I feel TikTok kind of ruined that back then. I obviously don't know how it is now if it's changed. I hope that it has. But back then, when everybody was talking about chords, it was so yeah, and it's like, but it's not when it's your family. For me, a chord symbolizes codependency for me. Yeah, that's how I just look at it now. Is it like I don't want to get back into that codependency, even though I love them and I care for them, I for one don't want them feeling my stuff, and I don't want to feel their stuff to where I get lost in my own stuff. Like I'm lost in the whole mix, and I don't want that, and I don't want to re-hook myself and be in that loop again. I just don't want it.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

Yeah. So you energetically keep it clean, yeah, makes sense, yeah. And I think I do want to touch on just for a moment that there are some people that have learned how to keep the cords because then they can stay safe, right? Because it's like, oh, I know exactly what's going on, and now I can build up my defenses or do whatever I need, right, to stay safe from this person. I think that can happen a lot when we had like a chaotic childhood, or if, you know, or even just like a lot of sickness in in a parent or a lot of pain in a parent. There's lots of reasons why energetically we got really good at feeling people before they even told us because now we can begin working on it. It keeps us safe, right? There's an element of that that's like, oh, now I know and I can stay safe. But we outgrow that behavior too, where it's like, no, it's actually this is actually harming me far more than it's keeping me safe, right? And so I'm gonna shift this. Um like you know, for myself, like if when you have like emotional parents, you learn to feel the energy first so that you can predict their behavior, right? And then now you know exactly what you're stepping into. Where now I don't need that. I can handle what comes at me. I don't need to predict it, I don't need to know it, right? Like I can handle what comes at me, so it's it's okay to cut those cords. So I just want to touch on that because some people might have developed that as a safety mechanism and they need to be really loving and gentle with themselves as they like unpack that codependency and that you know, that safety mechanism. Yeah, because it's not easy and it's really hard. Yeah, it is really hard.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

Yeah, it's really hard to remove, and it comes back, and that's when you just have to give yourself grace, you know. Yeah, and that's hard on top of it, too. Like, that's why it honestly took me 30 something years to be able to finally feel safe enough in my own body to remove it. Because obviously, you know, like for grandpa and in elderly people in my life, of course, I wanted that to know like, okay, what's my next step? And that's like you're talking about a wound. And I've experienced death like every three years, three people since I was eight years old.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

So yeah, I wanted to know how they were feeling. I had to read the room, I had to feel them, you know.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

It's like, and then it got to me, that's purpose. That's more per I know, I understand there's a wound there, but to me that's more like purpose and power. You're utilizing this cord to be able to support them through this transition.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

But at eight years old, getting it, that's not that for me is a wound where it's like you were so intuitive, so young without the tools you needed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

And I didn't have anybody. I mean, of course, my dad was open, he's open as well, but he didn't have the full understanding. It was like, just keep it, you know, just keep it. So that as eight-year-old Brianna, it was okay, grandpa's morning, I need to be with him.

unknown 29:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

But obviously I couldn't physically be with him, right? Or when my grandma passed away, my other grandma, it's like, okay, hook hook in. Or my grand, when she was sick, it's like hook in because you don't feel that that person that she's with is very supportive and she lives in in Washington. You know, it's like so that I could be able to tell my dad, hey, something's going on with grand, or hey, something's happening here. So it's like at eight years old, do I would I change it? Absolutely not. Yeah. But do I think that it's fair to start that young? No. Yeah. So that's why I say wound, because you know that's a lot for a little girl. Yeah. Yeah. Being too being in tune for so long and not knowing how to turn it off. And then, you know, when you do go to people, they're like, Oh, well, just tell spirits to go away. It's five o'clock. It's like, you don't think I haven't tried that?

SPEAKER_02 30:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:13

It doesn't, you can't just turn it off. Like no, it doesn't, you can't, it's not a light switch where you can turn off, it doesn't happen that way.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Yeah. I think sometimes there is a bit of that simplicity of like, no, go away, but not not not always. No, no.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Mine has never been that way.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

And I think that's why I also limit myself to who I allow in my life. Makes sense. Because I don't that's too much. Yeah. It's too much.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Yeah, I understand that. Mine has always been like an intuit an emotional, um, intuitive, you know, like I could knew exact I knew exactly how people were feeling and like what people needed. And um, and so I didn't have anyone teach me emotional intelligence when I was young. So I just became these feelings and and would suffer a lot. Like, I don't know what's wrong with me. And it's like no one was like, uh, that's because you just took on grandma's pain, or because you know you, you know, no one taught me that. So I'm still, you know, at 45, even though I've been doing readings for so long, you know, I'm really good in the reading arena of like keeping things clean and doing the readings and the connections, and but then in my personal life, not so much, and I'm still learning how to do that.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Yeah. Mine, mine just happened, like when grandpa

Feeling The Collective Without Drowning

SPEAKER_01 31:40

passed, where it was like, okay, no more.

unknown 31:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:42

And then now it shifted to collective energy because I do worry for the collective. There's so much that's happening, there's so much change that's happening. And now I just get to the point where okay, if it if it's happening three times, then I'll share. And then I'll put the wall back up. Versus if it's gonna break my wall three times, then I need to say something, you know?

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Yeah, makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

But I just don't like feeling it because then I feel it so much where I feel the pain, I feel the hurt, I feel the fear, and then I start getting that way where my brain's like, oh my god, are we safe? Oh my god, is this gonna happen? Or is this and so that's kind of where I've been noticing it more, I would say, the last couple weeks than anything, like the last month. And it's like, okay, no, right? But I'm also at that last degree of Chiron, right? Where it's like, how are you going to move forward? Are you going to allow your body to take the hit or are you going to have boundaries? Yeah. It isn't with loved ones anymore. It's with just everybody's energy.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

See, and I feel like on the opposite, I've done really well kind of disconnecting from the collective. Like I don't know what's going on half the time, but I trust that if I need to know, I'll know. Yeah. You know. But but in my personal life, that's where I'm struggling. So I feel like, which is often with us, we're doing the same thing in two different arenas.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

I noticed, um, I know I shared this with you for a little bit, like a little bit earlier, but what I noticed is yesterday it got a pretty big hit, like collectively, where there was just like a lot of fear and anxiety. And it was like, oh, right. And so now that I notice it quicker and where it's at, I'll feel it in my chest if it's collective. And it's like, oh, okay. So I don't want to know what's going on. I don't care what's going on. I know people are feeling

Sugar Jar Magic And Joy As Medicine

SPEAKER_01 33:50

this way. And I get the way that I was able to get back in my body was by doing magic. What'd you do? So I made a sugar jar, which I was really excited about. What is that? So a sugar jar sweetens something up, right? So you can um you can put like your name in it, you can put other people Yeah. So say someone's being like an asshole to you, right? But you have to deal with them. You can put them in a sugar jar. So you just like write their name, write how you want them to treat you, and stuff like that, right? And then I don't know why, but I honestly never thought of like putting myself in one. Oh, yeah. And it was like, yeah, and I was like, why have I never why have I never done this? And like I was on the elliptical, right? And I'm like, I kept seeing a sugar jar, and I'm like, why do I keep seeing this? Like, I'm not having any issues. What do I need? I don't need anything sweeter, like what's going on? And it was like, no, you silly. And I'm like, oh perfect. So I didn't even think about it. I just like automatically wrote like what it wanted to say, like whatever you know my soul wanted me to write. And so I did. You can leave it, and you can keep it forever, right? In a jar. It's literally sugar, water. If you want, you can put cinnamon in there, anything sweet that you want in there, honey. And um, you sit with it and you put the paper in, and then you put water in it, and then you just hold it and you just feel good, right? Yeah, and then you can leave it, keep it forever, shake it up when you want a little more sweetness, or you can dump it. Um, I think I'm gonna dump mine and like I don't know, I think around the full moon I'll dump mine. I didn't see me keeping it, so that's okay. Maybe I just need a little sweetness right now, you know? Yeah, and then um I buried some crystals in the front yard since we did the work like around the house and stuff. A lot of my stuff was like dug up. So I was like, oh, that feels so good. I did some candle magic and I just had like a really fun time, like just being able to do magic, right? Just like a habit. Yeah, it was so fun, and I already had everything which made it even nicer. Like I didn't need to go anywhere. I was able just to be in the comfort of my home. I didn't have to feel anything anymore. And it was like, ah, this feels good.

SPEAKER_00 36:28

Yeah. Which makes sense, right? So energetically you disconnected from everything happening, and then you focused on yourself. And you focused on things that make you happy, made you feel good, that even served a bigger purpose, right? And so I think that's so beautiful because you recentered your internal and your external around you instead of all of that other crap you were feeling.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

And you know what's funny is when I was feeling it a lot, not last week, the week before, that week that we didn't record, and I wasn't doing fun things. But something that I've always said is when the world is shitty, there's only so many things that you can do that uh around you to help, right? No one's gonna come fix them or rescue us. We have to be able to make that choice by ourselves. And if we want to witness change, the change has to happen within so that it can happen on everywhere else, right? So if you're working on yourself and you're happy yourself, you're spreading that joy around you and making someone else's day better just by simply smiling at them. That it's like that's how you start lifting and raising it. So I didn't even think about it till right now we were talking when you said like the internal, it's like I literally did what I've always preached. I was feeling too much collective that I was like, no, how can I shift this? How can I change what I'm feeling to help other people? And that was by just having joy by myself.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

I love that so much. And even like what I think about is if you get yourself into that place, you might even get a hit of like how you want to help the collective. You know, maybe you do pop a message out into the world now, you've just helped, right? Or maybe you donate to something that feels good, but your soul will tell you what how, if by chance you want to do some supporting, your soul can tell you when you're not in fear, when you're not spinning, when you're not drowning, right? When you're in your own energy and you've so no matter what, everybody gets something good out of that. Whether it's just your vibration helping the planet, or whether you get a hit of how you want to help and do something more, either way, right? Like, so my my point is, right, is what sometimes when we're feeling that fear about the collective, we just want to help. We just want to fix it. And we don't realize that by getting in our own space, doing some magic, feeling good, you have helped, and then you might even get a bigger hit of what else you want to do to help, right? So, like, no matter what, it it's it's not selfish, it's actually helping everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Yourself and everybody else around you.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

Yeah, but it takes being selfish enough to care for yourself first, right? The good type of selfish to care for yourself first. It almost goes back to that classic, like, put your mask on and then put their mask on when the plane's going oh yeah. Yeah. It's kind of that classic or put your life jacket on first so that you can help them. Um, but it's not about helping people, right? I don't want to refocus it on that. But my point was just like once you get into that space, your soul can communicate more with you, right? Where it couldn't when you're in fear and spinning and and drowning in it.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Yeah. And I needed it today. For today, like when we went to the grocery store, because it's like 110 degrees.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

So you gotta like go before like nine o'clock or your toast. And the one of the checkers was having a really hard day, and she was feeling it, and it was like, hey, it's okay. And she goes, No. And it was like, No, it is, and I'm not a toucher because I feel too much when I touch. Like, if I hug somebody, it's like I feel all of their shit. And even though I know that like some people, it's gonna be a good feeling, you know, not a terrible feeling. I literally just gave her a hug, and that's all she needed. Yeah, and like she just had a big she's like, I needed this, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

And it's I love that. And if you were drowning in the crap and gave her a hug, nobody's helping anybody, right? So like you had your life jacket on and your hair mask on, and you helped her, and then she she felt that.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

Yeah, and it was like the and I knew in that moment this morning where it was like that's why I had to do what I did yesterday, because someone needed it today.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Yeah, I think this is so beautiful for empaths, for people that really just want to help and love on other people, and then they get stuck in the pain. Like, right? Like, take note right now about what we're saying. Love on yourself, do your energetic clearing, do some stuff to make yourself happy, and and know that that is you helping everybody. Yeah, yeah. I love this. So we're kind of talking like right, like the energetic side of this and the the magical side

The Question That Cuts The Cord

SPEAKER_00 41:15

of this. And for me, I've kind of been more in the depths of the emotions. And what I'm realizing is that once I start spinning, once I start trying to solve it, once I start doing all this stuff, right? I'm lost in the emotions. I'm trying to fix them, and I've lost where I'm at. So I don't even know where my life jacket is, right? I don't even know if I'm in the water or not in the water. I don't know if I'm in the plane. Like I've literally lost myself on the map. I don't even know where I'm at because I'm so lost in all the emotion. And so I'm practicing because it is a practice, it's like, whoa, I just noticed my thoughts are all over the place, they're on everybody else. I also notice that I feel so emotional that I don't know, I don't know if I'm coming or going. And so one of the questions that's been helping me, and this is just recent, but one of the help I wrote it down so I could make sure I share it, is like one, just noticing the first thing is noticing that I'm doing it. And then the second thing is like, if I knew for certain these people weren't gonna change, what do I need? Because I have to reorient myself, like redirect myself back to what I need in that moment. Because you can't fix, you can't save, you can't do anything, right? So do I need to grieve right now? Okay, yeah, I'm just gonna go fully into that grief. Do I need to feel my helplessness right now? Yeah, I'm just gonna feel how helpless I am and love myself through it. So I've got to meet that emotion wherever it is and fully go into it, but it's mine, right? And this is what I'm learning. When I'm trying to, when I'm in their emotion, I'm getting so lost in it. I'm I am helpless. I can't fix it. And then it feels unbearable because no matter what I do, it doesn't go away because it's not fucking mine. Yeah. Right? And so, like, I'm like, okay, this isn't working. I'm doing, I'm using all my tools, I'm doing all my stuff. Yeah, because I'm still coming from fixing. I'm still coming from taking on the responsibility of their emotions and somehow trying to fix it. That is a losing battle. You cannot, you cannot do enough feeling to get rid of that other than like actually just disconnecting from it completely and going to your feelings. So that question helps because it's like, okay, if I knew for certain they would never change and that this is just this is it right here, right now, what do I need? And then bam, I'm back in my emotions, right? I'm back in my body. And it's like, oh, I just need to accept this and be really fucking pissed for the rest of the day, you know? So like then I'm ready, you know, or maybe it'll go faster than that. But that's go into the anger.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

So when you say, like, what do I need right now? Do you mean that like what do you need from them or what do you need to move forward?

SPEAKER_00 43:54

How can I move? Yeah, like if they go. So it takes them out of the picture, right? Like if they were never gonna change. If because it because I feel like okay, let me backtrack. When I when I have the awareness of like I am spinning out and thinking about this person's life or thinking about their feelings or thinking about how to help them or wanting to help them, wanting to solve it, I now know exactly who I'm carrying, right? And then from that point I can say, okay, if this was just gonna stay the same, if this person was never gonna be better, and this situation was just exactly how it is, what do I need in this? Right? Because that what what that does is all of a sudden now they separate from me and I feel me, and then I know what I need to do. And it's usually just feeling a feeling. I need to grieve, I need to be angry, I need to feel helpless, right? You meet that feeling where it's at and then feel it, process it all the way through, and now you're back to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

What do you do if it's more than like one emotion? You just feel every single one.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

You would meet every one of them. But usually I feel like for me, what I'm noticing is there's a dominant feeling. It might start with, I need to just accept this and I hate this, it sucks. I don't, I don't want to accept this, and it's and then and then I just let myself feel that. And then pretty soon I'm like so pissed and pissed, right? The anger comes in, and then usually after the anger moves, there's grief because right, the anger is protecting you from feeling that sadness, and then the grief comes in. And this doesn't have to be an all-day thing. So earlier when I was like, I'll just be pissed all day. Well, sometimes you do, sometimes you just have to let the ang like meet the anger where it's at and be with it, not try and shut it up, not try and push it push it away, not take it out on other people, but just let it be until you process it, right? So it's like meeting it there. But yeah, it could be multiple emotions, but I feel one layer comes after the other. So usually it's the acceptance and then it's the grief, and then it's the I mean sorry, the anger, and then it's the grief and sadness that comes through.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

And then when you move into uh acceptance, where do you go from there?

SPEAKER_00 46:01

Well, so the first acceptance to me is just accepting that this is how I feel, ex accepting this is where they're at, accepting that I can't fix or change. So that's like the first layer of acceptance, which then moves usually to like the anger or the helplessness or whatever comes next, then the grief, and then the acceptance as in. Right, it's like a different type of acceptance where it's like I can let this go. It's okay, it's okay. Right? So there's levels, layers. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 46:30

No, it makes sense, but what where I'm going with it is is if once you recognize that somebody won't change and you've come back into your own energy, do you is that you cutting the cord per se?

SPEAKER_00 46:49

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Because I think we can do the energetic cord too, but I'm talking more in the emotional arena. And the minute that you turn the question back onto you, like what do I need in this moment? That's you cutting that cord. That's you, that's you separating the emotions, and now you're back in your emotional body, right? Now you're where you have the power to process, to feel, to move through it. So I think that you could do everything you were talking about, where you do that energetic cord, but if you're a feeler, you still have to process the emotions. Cutting the cord doesn't just automatically take away the emotions if they're in your body already, if you're already charged up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:30

I guess I'm just stuck because for me, I know there's people like you, and then I know there's people like me. So we don't have to share the scenarios of anything, but for me, when someone I've been worried about someone for so long and they're not making a change, and I know they will never make a change, I don't care if you're family or not. I'm cutting you off all levels.

SPEAKER_00 47:58

Oh, you mean like a little bit more of external cord cutting?

SPEAKER_01 48:03

Yeah, like I'm done, you're not allowed in my bubble in my life. Yeah. So when you're bringing up emotions and like you're saying, yeah, like what do I need? And then I process it and then I move through. For me, when it comes down to emotions, I do similar things, but depending on if it is they've stayed the same for so long, I am going to love them where they are at, but you are not going to be in my life.

SPEAKER_00 48:34

Yeah. Well, I think you're talking about the action and the choice that comes after you've processed the emotions.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

Because at first it's internal work, right? It's cutting the energetic cords, it's dealing with the emotions, it's recentering yourself back on your own emotion where you actually have power to do something with it. And then you might have to make a choice. You know, like if I'm upset about my mom, I'm not cutting my mom off. Maybe some people can, but I can't, right?

Boundaries After You Finish Processing

SPEAKER_00 49:00

And so if she's like experiencing the same thing over and over again, boundaries are needed, but I can't tech I I just would never like cut my mom off. I, you know, I just don't know. No, I know. Like for me personally, with my mom.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

Um I do the same thing with my mom. I tell I have to tell her boundaries, mom. And she goes, boundaries.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

Or even unspoken boundaries that you're just like, look, I'm not, you know, you know, maybe next time they start talking about something, you just redirect the conversation, right? Or look, you might need to have your own private tools if if you can't talk to them, right? There's lots of avenues we can go. But I think that's what you're talking about, right? Is like first we're talking about the energetic connection, then we're talking about processing the emotion, and then there's an action that you might have to take. And I have, because you've watched me suffer a lot with friendships and not do anything about it. Um, that has been a pattern of mine where it's like I'm suffering, I'm suffering, I'm suffering, and I'm not actually putting up a boundary or leaving the relationship or making a change. I'm just back in. Yeah, but what's been beautiful about that, because we've had so many wonderful conversations, is I have let go of a lot of friendships recently. I have been able to step away, I have put up different boundaries. I am getting strong enough in my own feelings where I'm not circling back to these friendships are actually ending. And that's new for me. Because when I love somebody, I love them forever, you know. But but then when we're looking at, like you said, sometimes you have to put up a boundary or say goodbye because it's not working anymore.

SPEAKER_01 50:32

Well, because that's a lot of what I was feeling the last couple of days is people really struggling with, you know, there is sadness, there is anxiety, they know that something isn't working out, but they don't know how to go through it, right? They don't know, okay, well, I've I they're probably listening, like, okay, yeah, I have done that. I I've worked through that emotionally, I have felt this, I have grieved. Like, I feel like everybody's going to feel exactly what you're going through.

SPEAKER_00 51:01

That it's like, what do you do after that? Right. And maybe it is the choice of not spending so much time with that person. Maybe you only go around that person when you know that you're, you know, not in your luteal phase, not when you're like having a hard day, right? It's like you have good boundaries, or maybe you just decide that for now, and I really like to practice this too, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. For now, it doesn't work for me. Because that's a practice I've had to do for years. You know that I'm a black or white, all or all or nothing, this or that thinker, you know, like that's why I have a lot of guides that are coming in and like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Katie. Like it doesn't have to be this or that. Like that, like you can hold two things at once, right? That's like a practice I've been doing for years. And so even now it's like, for now, this friendship isn't working. For now, this relationship needs a boundary. For now, I'm gonna step away. Because if we go to the all or nothing, we can think, I can't, I can't let go of this person. I love them. Yeah. And then you don't make a move. Then you stay codependent or you stay sucked in, right? But if you for right now, I'm going to, you know, X, Y, Z, you can do it because you know you can always change your mind later if circumstances change or if you feel stronger or whatever, right?

SPEAKER_01 52:19

Right. Or and sometimes that space is needed in relationships, right? Like you, you've grown, maybe they're stuck, but then you know, you reconnect somehow, and the universe brings you guys back together, and then you realize that they've grown. Or you realized, nah, you're still there. It was good seeing you.

SPEAKER_02 52:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:39

I think because I grew up with my mom, she's an Aquarius, so they're cutthroat, you know? And my mom is so good at just like piece out that's it. That I have been so black and white, and it wasn't until uh like I would say like seven, eight years ago, that it was like, well, I do understand that everybody goes through stuff, right? So maybe it isn't for right now. But there's also moments where it's just like, nah, this is it. Like they were a season or a reason, they're not a lifetime.

SPEAKER_00 53:17

Which is true, right? People do, they come in for a specific person, uh purpose in our life, and sometimes that purpose ends. Yeah. And then sometimes, you know, like I I I did learn that so long ago with spirit, but it is a practice where it's like I just let go and do my work, and they're either gonna fit in my life still or they're not. And I I can't figure that out right now. I have to do my process and let energy figure out energy, right? Like, you know, if I if I let go for right now and I work on myself and they come back into my sphere, it's like, oh, we still do have an energetic connection. We still do have a purpose. But if they come, if they don't come back, it's a it's a very clear knowing that we've outgrown each other or the lesson has been learned or the purpose has been served. But I feel like sometimes if you try and figure it out from that place of letting go, you might end a relationship that could circle back, or you might stay somewhere that has been over a long time, right? Like it's not about figuring it out, it's about coming back to your own body, doing what you need to do, and trusting that this relationship will either survive or not survive. And either way, it's okay. Yeah. It's a hard place to get to, but it is true, right? Either the energy is gonna work again or it's not. And we can always predict that.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

And this goes for any relationship, right? This isn't just like um relationship with friends or relationship with a spouse or a family. No, this is like your business, your career, where you're working at like because that's a big theme that's been popping up for people, like the lady at the store today. Hers is they're not treating me properly, but I've been here for so long. What do I do? Yeah. Yeah. And it is hard. It is especially if you've been there for years. You know what I mean? What do you do when you've you're connected? That's like Lewis. I know when he finally comes, it's coming, I can feel it, where there's gonna be a shift in the next five years for him. That it's gonna be hard for him, even because he's been there for 20 plus years.

SPEAKER_02 55:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:28

It becomes, yeah, your identity, your life. Like, yeah, I just wanted people to know that it's not it doesn't necessarily mean you know, the relationship with somebody, it could be something. Any relationship. Yeah.

unknown 55:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:47

I mean, look at me.

SPEAKER_00 55:49

What are you gonna say?

SPEAKER_01 55:50

We were like, I was gonna say, look at me with the freaking the object.

SPEAKER_00 55:55

Yeah, yeah. It could be a relationship with an object, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 56:01

Yeah, right. So I had a cookie jar, no one knows this, but I had a cookie jar that resembled a dog that I had mine and Lewis's first dog together after we got married. And I loved that damn thing, and I held on to it for 12 years. And a couple weeks ago, I just kept holding it, and it's like, why do I and every single time I just kept seeing myself smash it, sludge hammer that bitch. And I did, and so much I felt so much relief, so much. It's like when we finally like listen to ourselves, right? And we get out of that, okay, this loop of like, well, what happens? Like, I still want them. I've emotionally processed it. Watch what happens because you're gonna see it a lot differently. Even if it's an object or a person, you can feel it, and then it's like, okay, it's dissolving. I mean, you don't have to sludge hammer it like I did, but it's like watch how you feel afterwards because now you're in your own energy that it's just like, oh, I could breathe.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Yeah. Well, I even witnessed it with like, you know, metaphorically smashing a friendship that was like, you know what, I can't do this anymore. I have to step away. And the minute I did, not the minute, but after I did, another relationship came in that was way more aligned and way more in a space that that that held me so differently than the other relationship. Isn't it crazy how quick it happens? It really is. And I was shocked, and there's still the grief, there's still the the feelings of losing the other thing, but it's such proof that it's like, wait a minute, that really wasn't working for me because look at this that just came in. This is what I was ready for, this is what I was needed, needing. And until I let go, it couldn't come in. So, like the person that came into my life has been around me for a long time, like has been in my sphere, but never connecting personally. And after I released some relationships, it was actually more than one that I released. All of a sudden, she starts coming in. It's like, oh, this is interesting, right? And so then, and then we were able to form a friendship. It's like, wow, this feels really good. It feels really reciprocal. I'm not in savior mode. I don't have to be codependent with this person. So not only were they matching where I was going, but they were also, they're also a good teacher for me of like, yeah, wow, look how easy this can be when you aren't trying to save people all the time.

unknown 58:27

Right?

SPEAKER_00 58:28

Wow, this feels light. This feels easy. But it took it.

SPEAKER_01 58:31

Well, and because you're also able to be you. Yeah. There's no mask, there's no like, okay, I have to act this way because I have to coddle or protect or whatever the case may be, or I have to tiptoe around things. Like, nah, I want those in-depth conversations. I want to know that if we go a week without talking, there's nothing wrong. We were just busy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:58

It's safety. But I think this is the part that I don't know if we've touched on this, but this is where it gets sneaky because I have such a huge loving, caring heart that I was allowing myself to stay in these places because I care, because I love you. Because, right? Like, oh no, I'll justify your behavior because you know it's mean to leave, or because it's mean not to to right? Like I don't want to be mean, I don't want to be unloving. I don't want to be uncaring. So I'm gonna sit here in a space that is basically abusing me, right? It's they're not meaning to abuse me, but that's what it can feel like when it doesn't match you anymore. When you are wearing a mask, it's not authentic, right? It's and and that becomes painful for your soul, it becomes painful for your physical body, yet you're doing it because you love, because you care. So it's very sneaky.

SPEAKER_01 59:51

You know, I have a big heart, I really do, and I love really hard. And I'll go to bat for you, dig a hole, I don't care. But this is where we're different because for me, it is I love me more. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:07

Where I have loved others more out of safety to stay safe. Yeah, truly, to stay safe to yeah, I've had to learn that it's that it's not selfish to love myself.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:21

And it is a hard one to go through. And I do have moments where that pops up for me where it's like, oh, Brianna, just understand like you care and you love them and they're going through something. But then it it always circles back to, okay, but who do I love more? Do I love me or do I love this person's ability to not change?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:42

Essentially. Yeah. But I feel like you helped me with that because you have been more like Katie, what are you doing? You know,

Astrology, Self Worth, And Self Gaslighting

SPEAKER_00 1:00:50

lovingly, but like, girl, let that person go. But it's taken me a lot. And I think we we spoke a little bit on gaslighting in the previous episode. So if you haven't checked that out, there's astrology, there's like, yeah, go check out our previous episode. But we talked about gaslighting, and that's the other piece that has kept me in places is I gaslight myself, you know, like, oh, you're too much, or oh, you're being too sensitive, or oh, give them the benefit of the doubt. I talk myself out of how I'm feeling.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:18

And here I am.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:19

Katie gave you're allowed to have space, Katie. Yeah. But when you gaslight yourself, you know, which is something I learned in childhood. If when somebody in your like somebody that you are around a lot gaslights you as a child, you become gaslighting to yourself. So I I have kept that for so many years and then talk myself out of what I'm feeling. Which is fascinating because, like I said, when I'm in the reader environment, I do not gaslight myself. I tell them exactly what I'm feeling, exactly what I'm seeing. My intuition knows, and and I'm pretty blunt with it. But in my personal life, I will talk myself out of what I'm feeling 99% of the time. Not anymore, but I did. And that's where this ex chronic fatigue has come from. That's where thyroid issues have come from. Because thyroid issues in a body is is basically saying, when is it my turn? Right? And if you're gaslighting yourself all the time, it's never your turn. It's everybody else's turn, always. Love them, take care of them, do what they need. You will come later. And that's what I have experienced. All of those physical symptoms, like so. I've been on like what eight years or something of unwinding codependency, people pleasing, gaslighting, all of this stuff to let myself have a fucking boundary.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:40

Like it's crazy when you say it out loud. It's crazy. And you want to know what else is crazy? My brain, I don't know if you could tell, but like I went off into another world. I was still listening, but all I could think about is you're a fucking Leo. I know. Like, how because I look at my childhood and yeah, there was there were everybody has moments in their lives growing up, right? And I look at Brindley because she's also a Leo, my daughter. We we don't have anybody gaslighting us because we're our biggest flame.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:19

Yeah. Yeah. But I have Mars and Libra. Okay, so Libra is like the peacekeeper. Let's just keep everybody happy, right? And so, like, my like the I feel like that's a huge placement for me that I had to understand where it's like stop keeping the peace and say what you mean. Like, stop gaslighting yourself to keep the peace and say what you mean. And then I have Virgo, which I think does play into that a little bit of that purity, and like be a good person. You know? So that's my Virgo rising. So I do feel like, and in numerology, I'm number two, which is the peacekeeper. I have so many, I feel like, yes, that Leo is there, and the Aries moon, that fire is there. Yeah. Right. But then I had, I was letting some of these, obviously, because this is my life lesson I had to come in and learn. I was letting some of these other placements be the boss, and they shouldn't have been, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:14

I forgot that you were a Mars Libra, and that's a big one of it because it is the peacemaker. That's how you take action, that's how you, you know, show up essentially. And so that makes total sense. I always forget that because I and that's why it's so important. Like, we're not for people listening, uh, when we were talking about astrology last time, it's important to know more than just your sun, moon, and rising because it's uh it all plays a huge piece of who you are and and how you show up, how you love, how you have luck, how you work, how all of it ethics, manners, all of it. And it's so beautiful. And so that's right. I keep because this whole time I'm like, what did you do? She had so much fire moon. Yeah, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:02

Like, no. Oh, I love it. I actually had a friend not too long ago when I was working through through some of this stuff. She's like, Where is your fire? You are so fiery, and I'm not seeing it at all. Yeah. She's like, Can you just be a bitch? I need you to be a bitch. Yeah, please. Oh my gosh. But yeah, the the Mars and Libra, the peacekeeper, it has caused a lot of problems for me. And at the same time, that's a really beautiful part of myself because I can bring peace into places that are at odds with each other. I have a great ability to see both sides and get people on the same page in a way where they can connect, right? So, like that, it's it serves a purpose, but it has been a wound. And then Chiron and Taurus. So my natal Chiron is in Taurus, which is all about self worth. So if I don't have the self worth, and feeling it in your body, right? And so I'm feeling far too much. I don't have self worth. I'm people pleasing. I'm giving everybody else the benefit of the doubt. I'm peacekeeping. No wonder I had to go through this like. Decade-long journey of unwinding these patterns because it comes so natural for me to do these behaviors, but that doesn't mean I have to stay there, right? Like I was born under these placements to learn how to work with them and to not do those things. Use their benefit, right? Use them in a good way, but not use them to the detriment of my soul and my mental health, my emotional health. Yeah. Detriment. I think I said that right.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:25

Yeah. I can't relate because I don't have any air in my chart. And I'm honestly thankful for that. I know some people are like, oh, well, you want to you because it is true. If you don't, if you're lacking an element, it's something that you're always looking for.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:43

And so for me, having no air, what do I do? I'm constantly learning something. I'm constantly diving into something to get new information because it doesn't come naturally to me. Air signs are amazing with knowledge and showing up and being able to teach. And for me, that's it doesn't come easy for me. My fire just comes out. There's no thought process. There's no, it is I speak before I think, and I will ask for forgiveness for permission.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:16

Because I don't my I don't work that way.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:18

Yeah. Which makes sense because you know I've had a lot of probably because of that Chiron in Taurus. It's like, stay out of the body, go to the head. Stay out of the body, go to the head. Stay out of the body, go to the head. It's like, um, hello, now your body is sick because you've avoided her for so long.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:36

Because what it was actually trying to do is listen to the body, not the mind. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:40

Exactly. But this has been a process because I've had to work through trauma and wounds. I've had to work through like really, truly, I took a I took a six-week class with somebody to feel safe in the body because I couldn't even feel safe in my body. It's like there's too much in there. And so that was when I realized I had abandonment, like self-abandonment things, because at a very young age, like the first time that I felt it, well, there's several points, but I knew at three years old, it was like, you're too much, get out of your body. There is a memory of being two years old, like through meditation. Being two years old, it's like you're too much, get out of your body. So it's been a theme for me that it's like, it is too scary to be in all of those emotions. You never had anybody teach you how to be in all these emotions. Your number one intuitive channel is feeling. So yeah, let's just go up to the head and analyze everything because I can stay safe and I know how to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:35

And mine's transmuting because mine is in Scorpio in my 12th house. So it is, I mean, I've lived it, right? It's perfect because it is death, rebirth. Yeah, it is transmuting energy, it's transforming, tons of transformation that happens. So change, there was a point where I knew I was fighting it a couple years ago because I used to hate change.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:00

And then now, as it's like getting out of it, it's like, oh, this feels so good. Like, yeah. I love transmuting it. I mean, I've been utilizing it so much more. And I really believe that it's because we're at this last degree that it's like, yes, we've done it. Now implement it and move it forward.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:19

Yeah. Yeah. And that's really where I'm at, right? It's like you've done enough analyzing, you've done enough learning. I could I could talk to you for days about my past lifetimes. Well, I prefer the word other lifetimes, my spiritual lessons, my right, the psychological side of it, all the analytical things, the knowledge, I could talk your ear off. Well, that's because it's in your ninth house. Yeah, so I know all of that. But was I bringing it in my body and creating change? No. And that's when I got sick, that's when I got stuck, that's when I realized, dude, you've done all of this work, yet you're the same person. How is that possible? It's like, oh, because I wasn't ever bringing it down the body because that shit was scary in there. It's dark, it's scary, it's full of emotion, and I don't want to be in there. Like, I don't want to be in there at all. But I've done really yeah, but I've done really good. And it also did take having somebody else who has emotional intelligence reflect back to me my feelings because instead of them getting out of control, now I'm like, oh, oh, that's how you move through that. Oh my gosh, that's so simple. Like, why did I not know that?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:31

Yeah, you've done that for me, where it's like, really, that's it. Like, yeah, and then my brain goes, No, that's too easy. Yes. And then it's like, well, just try it. And it's like, okay. And then once you try it, right? Once you take that one little step of taking that advice, it's like, oh my God, why did I do this? Like, why did I wait forever to do this? Like, I feel so good.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:55

Yeah. And I think it's honestly so fascinating that the truth is, because I am such a feeler, I'm actually really good at feeling. I'm actually really good at processing emotions. I just never knew how to do it. And I was scared of it, right? I had all of these stories and these wounds and these things in the way, but the truth is I'm really good at feeling. It's not scary. I do it all the time. That's all I do is feel. It's like that's who I am. So it's funny once you bust that bubble too, and you actually really look at it. So anyone out there who's a who's a feeler and who who is getting lost in it, the truth is you're actually really good at it. You just haven't harnessed the skills yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:33

Yeah, honed in on it.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:34

Uh-huh. You're actually so all these stories that, oh, it's too hard to feel, it's too much to feel, I can't do that. It's not true. Once you stop resenting the feelings and then you learn the skills, you realize, holy crap, I'm actually really good at this and it's very easy.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:50

But it takes practice. Like, I'm not pretending you can do that overnight. Maybe you can, I don't know. Everyone's different, right? You can like, but most of the time it it takes practice. It takes beautiful mirrors and friends that can, like, you know, me help you stop gaslighting yourself. Um and help you hold boundaries and know that you're safe, right? Like all these things. There's so much our community is so helpful. I just feel like we try to do it alone and then we realize we can't.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:20

There's a lot we can, but yeah, there's a lot that we can, but there are things that we do need support on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:28

Humans are built for support.

Co Regulation, Animals, And Closing

SPEAKER_00 1:12:30

We can't unhuman ourselves, right? Like take out all of that out of who we are.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:34

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:35

And nervous systems need other nervous systems, because that's the other thing, is when we're really looking at like our nervous system um stepping into safety, it does need a regulated nervous system next to it to kind of get there.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:49

Absolutely. I experience this with Lewis all the time. Yeah. Like I mean, obviously we're good, but on an energetic level, sometimes I need someone who's actually physically here.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:02

To be able to fully move through it. And it's like I and it never fails anytime that my nervous system is shot. The second he gets home, it's a time where like he had a really easy day. It's like the universe knows.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:15

And like he'll just hug me. And in that moment, I swear to God, I just like ground in. And it's like, oh, this is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:23

Yeah, because our nervous system as humans, we that is so huge, right? That's like why babies need you to be calm and then you're upset and you're freaking out, right? And now they're freaking out. It's like, can somebody regulate here? Yeah. As the mom or the parent, like you gotta take those deep breaths and regulate, and then you help their little bodies regulate. And so it's just such a co right, it's well, it's called co-regulation, but it's a community thing. It's a yeah, I love that he can do that for you in all the right times.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:53

Animals do they do the same thing? Like, yeah, Brutus is my little regulator, he he's with me every session and really just keeps me grounded. And then same, like if he's panicking, like I'm able to like bring him down. Yes, and but I just love animals in general because they for me, they're the biggest regulator because they're right there with you, they have complete unconditional love, and it's just like so nice, and then to be able to give that back to them is even better. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:29

Yep, I agree. I actually just got a little dog, well, you know, not too long ago because um I had gone eight months. I lost my little Stanley, and I went eight months. I'm like, I'm not getting another little dog, I'm not gonna do it, I'm not gonna do it. And then pretty soon my body was just screaming, can you just get me a little baby to hold?

SPEAKER_01 1:14:47

I remember you saying, I think I'm gonna do it. And I said, Katie, don't ask me because I'm gonna tell you go. Yeah, go get 'em. You don't even have to show me the picture, just go get them.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:59

Yes, but it's so true. It's because I needed that help. I need that help with regulation. I am very emotional. I do work with clients, you know, like I need that support, and it's okay. And of course the animals love it too, right? They're like, I need you too, and it's just a beautiful little relationship.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:15

Everybody laughs like when they're in my session. Some I think people have just grown to know like you're gonna hear snorts. Yeah. Because I mean, you've heard it when I voiced memo you, like he's right there, and like you'll probably hear him in the background today, honestly, because he was just howling for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:35

Oh, because he's not heard him, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:38

He's not right here because it's like mom's tapped in, and so I'm that's my job. I'm here to keep her grounded, I'm here to help her feel and not carry it. And it's so funny because like I really think, but I guess that's where familiars come from, right? Like why we have familiars, yeah, yeah. And um, Brutus is my boy, he's always right here. I love it. But they know they hear the snorts and they're like, What is it? I'm like, don't mind it, it's just Brutus, no big deal. He's a Frenchie, he already has a hard time breathing and he's snoring right now. I know because it can sound like farting. Yeah, it does. It does. It's so funny. She's just letting him rip while she's doing this. Last week it was so funny because the client told me, she's like, Is your tummy okay? And I'm like, No, it's my dog, it's okay. And she goes, Oh my gosh, honey, I thought something was wrong. Like, you needed to go. And I go, No, I guess I should put like a disclaimer be prepared.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:39

Oh my gosh, that is hilarious. Finally, she's like, I've gotta ask, are you okay? No, she didn't. I could tell.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:46

I could tell, like she was like, and I go, is everything okay? And she goes, I was gonna ask you that. Like, is your tummy bothering you? Are you okay? Do we need to take a break? And I'm like, No, it's my dog, it's okay. Oh my gosh, that kills me. Like, if I was gonna shit my pants on the phone with you, I'd mute your ass, okay?

SPEAKER_00 1:17:08

Oh, beautiful. I love this so much. Feels like a good place to stop all this laughter, this joy. Yeah. Are there any last words though that you want to say before we complete?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:24

No, I feel like we covered all bases and gave like a lot of information. And there's also a lot of information in last week's episode and um with spiritual hygiene. I want to say it's like in the second and third one, we also talked about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:41

So you guys can go back to that so we're not like repeating ourselves. But so far we've given a lot of tools, and if you want to like understand that, you can always go listen to those as well.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:52

Yes, I love it. And as always, thank you for being here. If you want to shoot us any questions, if you want any topics, you know, want us to c want us to cover any topics, um, yeah, let us know. We have our emails out there. You can find us on social media, and we would love to connect with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:10

Over and out.