Podcast 1001
“Where everything is up for discussion.”
Podcast 1001
"Time to turn up the VOLUME" Ft. LaSpeaks Volumes
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"Where everything is up for discussion."
What's up, y'all?
SPEAKER_00It's your girl Black Genesis, and we're back for another episode of Podcast 1001. Episode three, we got a celebrity in the building, y'all. I'm super excited because this episode, we're gonna turn up the volume. Okay, um, Lost Speaks Volumes. As if the name wasn't, before we get started. Why Lost Speaks Volumes and when did you, I'm not even this see, I'm telling this ain't even on the card, but I've always wanted to know Lost Speaks Volumes is such a great stage name. Where did you come up with it and why?
SPEAKER_01This is so funny. Because here's the thing it was never meant to be a stage name. Oh, okay. That's crazy. I just owned it because for one, when I first started doing poetry, I didn't know that I was it was actually going to be a thing for me. But my voice, you know, it has a volume of its own. Uh it has a power to it. And um one day I was just like, you know what? Like, la speaks. I'm speaking now, and it, you know, I'm hearing, I I was hearing a lot of things about my voice, so I put volumes on it. Yeah. And it was just a screen name. Yeah. Like literally a username. No, you have great teeth. Yeah. You have great teeth. It's it's some work.
unknownYou have braces?
SPEAKER_01I have braces.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_01I just um I just took them, took them off, well, shoot, in August. So I don't know whether to be, I don't remember you ever having braces. You I didn't. I didn't. I actually only had to I okay, so I take that back. Um my a gift from my grandmother when I graduated from college, she had um got braces for me because I was very like insecure about my teeth. Yeah. Um, so she did that for me, and then like I had lost my retainers. So my teeth started like shifting kind of like back. Um, so I ended up getting braces again uh two years ago. And then yeah, I had I had them for the last two years.
SPEAKER_00Did I follow you on Instagram? I don't know, but you know what? Some people the algorithm be fucking up because some people I don't even be saying they shit until like later, or a lot of times I'm like, damn, when this happened, and they don't come up on the situation.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it'd be like a while. Honestly, like that's how it is. Um, like today, I was on your stuff and I was like, why listen? Yeah, why are you saying this? Like, I've been seeing everything with the podcast, but when it came down to your story and stuff like that, I was like, this is burnt out because you be have you be posting stuff that be hilarious.
SPEAKER_00Post what make me laugh. Like necessarily, it just if it makes me laugh, I'm posting it. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01No, that's what it felt like, and I was like, oh, I needed this. It's funny. So yeah, but yeah, no, I had them for two years and then I took them off, and I'm back in retainers now that I promised myself I wouldn't look.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Um, okay, so last week's volumes. I'm gonna let you do your own introduction. I do want to say though, I remember, I remember when I met you. Lord. This was, and I mean years ago. I had to be, and I'm not joking, I had to be 19. Really? Damn. No, no, I'm lying. I'm lying, I'm lying. Hold on, let me do a timeline. I was early 20s. Uh like really early 20s. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01How old are you right now? 31. Oh, dang. We we do have a uh a gap. How old are you?
SPEAKER_00I'm 36. I'll be 37. I knew you were older than me, but I didn't. I mean, I say you old, you're not old.
SPEAKER_01No, it's cool. Yeah. I'll I'm I'll be 37 in August. It looks good. Thank you, boo. It's packaged.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, boo. Catch that dirt, okay? It looks good. It don't look 30 nothing. Really. You know. I try. You look like the kids at your school. Okay. Um, no, I you know what? I'm really trying to do the timeline, and I really think I had to, I had to be. If I wasn't 19, I was 2021.
SPEAKER_01No, honestly, you were you were very, you were very young because when I met you, well, from what I recall, I don't, I don't necessarily remember. I damn, what was it, was it, was it at on Slausen?
SPEAKER_00Yep. At one of the uh vibe sessions? What is that nigga's name? The dark-skinned dude, he's super black, he got the locks. Yes, he had a big storefriend, yes. And then on Fifth F. Yep. That's I okay, so I'm not tripping.
SPEAKER_01That is where we met.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And he was doing some type of poetry event. Oh, you were young, you were like 21. And I walked in, and I will never forget this. I walked in and I signed up and I performed, um, and I was great. You were but then you were sitting on what's her name's lap? Uh, what's your best friend's name? MJ. Yes. You were sitting on her lap, and I remember thinking, like, damn, who was that? Nah. Damn, who was that before you performed? And then you performed, and it was a rap. I just knew, like, I was like, this is my favorite. You were my favorite person to go and watch.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, when they had like different, because I was out more like performing back then and going. And I mean, you were just breathtaking. Breathtaking, breathtaking. Um, so can you tell us about your poetry roots and how you got into writing? Like, how did that even start?
SPEAKER_01So I've always been writing poetry. Uh, and it started very, very young. Um, I was in elementary school when one of my teachers took notice of my writing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And um, she put me in a competition, a national competition. Um, I ended up placing fourth nationally, but I was in like first or second grade. Wow. And um, but since I've always been uh uh been a writer because I was and still am very introverted. So I can see that. So that would be the way that, you know, obviously I would uh express myself. And in my household, I just felt at the time I couldn't, I my voice, I I couldn't, I didn't know how to use it. I I felt voiceless, I felt powerless, you know. There was uh there was a challenging family dynamic at the time. I was being raised by my grandmother and my aunt. Um my mother, you know, uh was in prison. And I didn't know that. Yeah, so she she was in prison. She did, she was in federal prison. Um so at the time I was just I was just trying to find a way to express myself and writing was always a thing. Now when I was writing poetry, I didn't know that's what it was. You know, um until until my teacher had to tell me what I was doing. And um, and ever since then, it it was just something that I did innately. I just whenever I felt something, I had to write it down. You know, uh just maybe a year or two ago, my grandmother gave me like all of my notebooks from elementary school.
SPEAKER_00Um and I know that I know that made you feel like because it's it's a full circle model when your parents pull out the because it makes you go, oh my god, I was always this curses.
SPEAKER_01Always, you know, and so it really was just like, wow, this has really been in me, you know. And yeah, that's that's really where it came from. Now, I never wrote poetry to think that I was gonna be on stage one day. Yeah. So it will it was funny because MJ stumbled across a notebook of mine when I was in college. And so uh she was like, la, like, did she do some of this, did you? And so I was like, yeah, girl, that's me. And um, she was like, okay, so it was like she took note of it, and then for my 23rd birthday, her and my other best friends, they got together and they signed me up for this open mic that I did not know was gonna be happening. So it was a whole surprise thing, and that was the first time that I ever got up to read something. I was about to piss on myself because, you know, um, but from that first time, I honestly I I couldn't stop. Yeah. I couldn't stop. Yeah. And oh yeah. And that's that's really where it all started.
SPEAKER_00Question Is it is it is it more of the writing that you love or is it the stage that you love?
SPEAKER_01It's the writing. Oh, okay. I I love the writing. What what made me love the stage were the people who were impacted by my stage presence. Um it's always been the writing for me. Wow. You know, and and honestly, I people don't know like I have really bad social anxiety.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_01So I I get like even coming out today, I was just like, you know, like very um nervous. I I I have I have really bad social anxiety. But what happens when I am around people who make me obviously feel safe. Yeah, you know, I'm a and I know that um, like I said, they they see me. Uh it's easier, easier for me to deliver, you know, and um it's never failed every time that I've gotten off of the stage. Someone has always come to me to tell me how I've impacted them. And that makes me get over everything, you know. Yeah, because some of the like, well, not even some of the things, all of the things that I write about are very, you know, close to me and and things that I have experienced. So it it's a lot for me to talk about those things, you know, and and be creative with it.
SPEAKER_00So do you write more about because I um I didn't know that your mom had been in prison and that you were raised by your grandmother. Outside looking in, right? Because we don't like, you know, we're not super duper close. Outside looking in, the only um information that I have about you is through your socials, and I see that you are very close to your mom. And um you know, that's just that doesn't seem like something that you ever disclosed in your writing. A lot of the stuff that I hear you talk about is like relationship stuff and like, you know, things that you deal with you in your personal life and stuff like that with your with yourself, insecurities and stuff like that. Like self-reflection. Um so do you are you most vulnerable with just a lot or with like your family dynamic? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Like what's your writing consistent most of the now most of the time my writing has everything to do with me. You know, I'm very big on people telling their own stories. For sure, yeah. You know, um, and I don't ever want to depict somebody in a light that would make them feel embarrassed, shamed, or anything like that. So I I definitely keep it on, keep the lens on myself, you know, unless it was a fuck nigga I was dealing with and I don't really I didn't really care at the time, you know, or it was like I have to get this out, like, you know, whatever. Yeah. But um, and even still, I'm still I still don't disclose who those like that those people are, you know. Um but yeah, when it comes down to my family, I protect them, you know, when it comes down to my craft, I don't ever put anything out there uh of them that would make them feel, you know, shamed or anything like that. Um I'm honest though.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm definitely uh honest and it my book is where people can really get the get that that backstory naked. Yeah. My book naked is definitely where you get the backstory of my family, and that's kind of where I kept it. Yeah, you know, um, because there's there's some there's some hurt, there's uh obviously some trauma there, you know. Uh I my dad got killed at the age of 21, you know, and you were 21 or he was 21? He was. He was 21, I was about to be three, you know. Um yeah, so that that dynamic there um growing up that I didn't realize that was the thing that I was in. You know, my dad's death played a big role in how things panned out, you know. Um obviously for us as children, and you know, my mother, he had another, he has another baby mom, you know, and then just the the dynamic of my mother's family and then my dad's family, they have a thing, but everybody is kind of flipping out because they're also they were also grieving, yeah, you know, grieving, losing someone just so uh who who is who was everything, who was a source, you know, and and he took care of his family.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So um yeah, so I I definitely protect my family when it comes to my writing. Now, I do have writing about family, though.
SPEAKER_00Um but it's not performance pieces.
SPEAKER_01Nah, it ain't performance pieces it at all. Yeah, nah.
SPEAKER_00That's smart. That's uh very adult. I am always on that type of time. I don't want to tell nobody else's story. Um because people experience things differently, and people have a story themselves, especially our elders, especially people who I just try to be respectful. I I have a similar story. My dad, I was two years old when my dad died. My dad was either 22 or 23. Um, there's some crazy stories surrounding the death the death. Uh, I wasn't raised by my mom, I was raised by my grandma. Um you know, don't have a close relationship with my mom to this day. But I don't expect much from somebody who, I mean, I don't know what I would have d with a kid at 14, almost 14 when she had me. 17 when she had my brother. You know, it's just but but like you said, I have um I have half-written plays about the family dynamic, and I just can't bring myself because I don't want to, like you said, embarrass nobody who um I feel like already kind of is experienced their guilt. Their guilt, and then also the result of not being the parent that shit they should have because you know the lack of our our closeness and stuff like that. And they feel it. I know she feels it, but I can't turn on something that ain't there. You know what I mean? My source is my grandma's my aunt. So I don't it's like I can't even fake a relationship with somebody that I don't have a relationship with, and I'm pretty sure she feels some type of way about that. But um, yeah. Moving on. Tell us about because I want them to know who La is and what you have put to the put to the put out. Your pen be to the pad. Then the pad become reality. And there are so many people, myself included, with the exception of this podcast. I said I was gonna do the podcast, and I actually actually, you know, uh fulfilled that. But there are so many things that we talk about doing and then don't succeed and execute. And I have watched you for years be like, oh, I'm gonna do that, and then do it. And then do it. And so, like, with the book, with the play, uh, with the play, the play that that you did uh back in the day, uh White Next. Wait next hell, and the softening series. I mean, girl, I am so going off script. How are you able to, with your career as an educator, what you teach? Seventh grade English. Okay, seventh grade English. That's tough. I know what I was doing at Bret Hart. Fighting in class. But um, how are you able to execute what you say that you're gonna do and make it look so seamless, so just easy to do.
SPEAKER_01Honestly, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01I am honest. I am big on the fact that if I say I'm gonna do something, I'm going to do it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What I've learned to do is I'm Virgo.
SPEAKER_00Okay, we on the same. Okay, Michael. Yeah, it gives that.
SPEAKER_01You know, it gives that. I I'm very big, like I said, on the fact that if I say I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It don't matter when I'm gonna do it, how it gets done, it's gonna get done.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, um, because I feel that's also um uh a mechanism, a trait that I have learned throughout life because when people have said things to me and they didn't do it, like I felt the disappointment from that. And the last thing, because I'm my hardest critic. Yeah. If I disappoint myself, I'm whooping my own ass. And I don't like at this point in my life, like, I'm not gonna do it. And I'm also just if I feel like I cannot do something, if I cannot uh meet the mark, I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, you know, so I I'm really I'm just really big on that, and I really just believe in what I do. That's cool. I I believe in what I write. If there's something, something that I have to put out, and I feel like this is a project that I want people to see is because I believe in it. I believe that there's purpose behind it and there's always intention behind it, you know? So it's like as I'm creating something, people don't know like this has been the medicine for me. And by the time I give it to you, like I I was the the the the crash dummy first, right? Like, how how did these words move me? How did they help me? How did they shape me? And and if I if I like the result, it's like this is this is for people. I could give this to the people and this this this be purposeful, this move them, this this help shift something, you know, and that's that's really why I also have such an urgency that when I say say I'ma do something or going to produce something, I give it to people because they're looking for that, you know.
SPEAKER_00And that just spoke to me. You know what I heard when you was talking? We all talented. I think I told you this. We are all talented. Absolutely. But there are some people who do what God tells them to do, and as a result of that, God will you give God an energy and take you a mile. And what separates all of the talented people from the other talented people are the talented people who take their purpose seriously and actually execute because your gift will make room for you. And in that room, who's in who's in that room? The people that need your gift. Yeah. And by you uh having such an urgency in regards to your gift and in regards to the things that you know are going to heal people because it's ministry, let's call it what it is.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. God is always going to make sure that you have more than enough and have the resources that you I'm just getting this the resources that you need for said project because it just isn't you know oh I I was feeling this I wrote this yeah it's never no self self-centeredness in you know I I never do projects for myself yeah yeah uh anymore you know like I said writing is something that's always been close to me that is something that I do for myself but when I say it's time to get it out I know for a fact it's for other people I don't believe in getting on stages I don't believe in speaking just to be heard or just to be seen because I feel like I got it like that or I can move around. Yeah I don't feel like that at all. Um I'm always humbled by the outcome yeah of when I move you know nonetheless I never take that to the head it's like I I got a job to do yeah it's a mission to fulfill yeah and hey God if this is what you gave to me I know that any gift not used you lose yeah you know and I'm not willing to lose this when I know what it does for people. Yeah so uh hey God God is God God will make make it make the process full of ease too and I learned and I learned that just from doing these last few projects when something is supposed to be done God sees to it that whatever needs to be in place yeah it's in place. Yeah you know and whenever something feels a little bit too hard or I gotta do a little bit too much or compromise something that I don't feel the need to compromise that ain't for me.
SPEAKER_00Because it's gonna be it's gonna be some some traction I know with the play that you did that I was in it was some traction it was some traction it was a lot of personality it was a lot of stuff going on that was hard girl it was hard hey we can get into it it was hard it was hard it was hard but I remember having a conversation with sunny then because me and sunny are still close I remember having a conversation with Sonny then and a conversation with Sonny afterwards that was my first uh play I didn't grow up a theater kid like the rest of these motherfuckers I wasn't that I just did poetry I started performing very young that's what I was that's what I did yeah but a play I had never done um but she was like this is gonna be sunny knew she was like this is gonna be so great and it's because you know all this stuff is happening you know some people are not getting along with doo woo woo and I kid you not that was the that was one of the best things I've ever been a part of and so many people afterwards they were acting like you wrote the the the the movie or something like when are you gonna come over here and do it when are you gonna they DMing me I'm like this ain't my point I gotta hit up lob but it was so dope and it was so needed and I feel like it came out like it was great. Yeah it was such a great turnout um what an experience but it was it was a lot and um but it was a learning experience it was a learning experience for me too you know that learning that experience though what it for me it was people people didn't obviously didn't see the bes behind the scenes and yeah what goes into that and the fact that including us yeah including including y'all I'm sure you know I'm one of two center because y'all me and blacks clashed okay I wasn't gonna say nothing me and blacks because I didn't want to perpetuate because you know what let me just say this let me say this and I'm gonna let you if you want to tell me something but I I'll say this when I first came on the scene I kid you not there were so many people and I know you heard it so many people like oh y'all perform alike or y'all did I heard that a lot the comparison I always I always was like I am the type of person that's who I look to but it's I don't want to be like oh that's who I look to and then y'all think I'm trying to bite you know what I mean because I'm naturally this is naturally me I'm naturally male too you know what I mean I have a presence too but I always recognize that you were somebody that came before me and like I said the very first person I saw perform that I was like oh this is this this is who it is you know what I mean I always had that reverence for you um but during the play there was some tension and I am not gonna be I don't remember a lot of what stemmed from it like what it stemmed from and I guess that's a good thing because I'm like I'm not holding on to I don't really have a lot of memories of what initiated all the tension but I remember being like what was the beat between me and Ly what was that about yeah that shit that hurt my feelings what did I do did I do something I it hurt my feelings you were I think it you know someone that when you see like the you had to see me in a way that you didn't you I I feel like wasn't like necessarily prepared for at the time my little cousin had got killed and oh I don't remember that no I do remember that I do remember that because you had a couple days where you didn't show up yeah yeah okay I remember that okay go ahead so my little cousin had got killed and um and how I showed up it wasn't that the law that that you had that thing I remember with you know so you had to see me in a different space and it kind of like almost like tainted like the whole like perfect lens that you saw me from you know and and then on top of that you were trying to fight the the the the stigma of she trying to yeah yeah be or bite or whatever you know and I I saw that then yeah I saw that then at the time I was just like I can't address that right now.
SPEAKER_01Right right whatever she has to whatever has to happen I'm gonna just let it happen you know because it did it did turn I mean it it turned out beautifully I was hot at you because you had took yourself out of like what I felt was like a major part um hold up La Yeah you you had you the sing the singing the the you being a part of the the the chorus like the whole medley and all of that you you had you had lip I remember you taking me out of that no girl because you was you was like on some other shit what was I doing mom you honest what the no you you for real like you was like doing shit like I remember we was at the park and you wouldn't even come like to do the parts with us and I was like blacks what the fuck like you was just in a bag like you didn't give a fuck at the time so I was like fuck you okay can I say I did I did take at that point I was like I remember you took me out of some park and I was upset about that yeah yeah yeah yeah but but you know in my defense and again back in the day when you were a little bit younger and I am younger than you sometimes you may not have the sensitivity that you need to have and there and I do apologize I apologize because I have never experienced a death of a cousin um I mean I've experienced death but not a death of a cousin and I don't know how close you were with that cousin or even if it isn't it doesn't matter if you were close to the cousin or not a death is a death and some people do show up um differently during their their grieving stages um and that does not give us a license to treat them no type of way. Yeah um or to be insensitive about the situation and again I'm not making no excuse for myself I just I was probably younger and not really paying attention and not uh having the discernment to recognize that you were in a certain space that's what it was I knew that though like but at the time because of having to get the the play done we we on a time clock you feel like there was so much happening with the miracle theater I remember you was like oh they you know doing this they doing that yeah yeah I had to pay for us and get also in there you know it was just it was a lot going on at the time um and just having to manage like like you said all the personalities all just all of that for me that was my first time doing that now I had before before taking that on myself I had been writing and collaborating with Tough Crowd okay um Tough Crowd I don't know if I remember that Tough Crow uh is their their lead lead person their um what you call that the part the creator of Tough Crowd um Holla um you know I had collaborated with him a lot I I won't necessarily talk a lot about Holla because we don't fuck with each other no more oh okay I mean and it is what it is but he he took what I felt like was uh like I said my love was always for the writing he made he made poetry feel like it had to be competitive and performant and no absolutely like performative in a way that was very just like people against each other yeah and and I gathered that as an outsider like watching and I was like yeah so I don't I don't fuck with bro like he he did he didn't do like good business with me and even until this day like I forgive that you know what I mean nonetheless to this day I just think like his way of going about things he blocked me because I did the play on my own okay he he blocked me because I did waiting to exhale he felt like what did uh Billy Porter say about Nicki Minaj fuck hell and it it to me it was like really crazy because he's he's older than me all of that and um I just felt like damn bro like when I go now I've always been that girl when it came down to poetry I wrote my own I write my own stuff I heard like that you know I heard like that no he did not like that he wanted to be the only writer in the room but that was that was the issue like me and him did c collaborated and did a piece called Lucky and Justice uh a project called Lucky and Justice based off um Poetic Justice we did that together I wrote for the women he wrote for the men sometimes he would go in and like write for the girls just because or whatever and then there was a big business opportunity that he totally like squandered and messed up because his ego and I just get a piece of your piece yeah so it was it was it was fine you know but he made me look at poetry different for a while and and that's what when I did Wedding to Exhole and it was done I was so glad that it was over with because I'm like and I told myself I would never do it again. Yeah because at the end of the day like I didn't I didn't like that I didn't even like the the narrative of when we were doing the auditions and stuff like that he told people not to come to the audition really that yeah I was I was literally I mean there were so many people at them audition didn't you have like three days of auditions? Yeah but like he but he literally did it then because that went successful and you know he was telling people like you know if you if they were a part of tough crowd if they join did the play which is why I was so like Sonny is forever gonna be my dog. 100% she feel she don't give ever going to be my dog because she don't give not one fuck. She was dealing with Tough Crowd at the time and she did not let that stop her from because he gave them like an ultimatum he was like if you fuck with her yeah you can't be a part of this type shit. And I was just like okay cult leader what the fuck is wrong with you right because I definitely gave that what the fuck is wrong with you so I um so then it but what was crazy was he told me that he was gonna be a part of it right and so the story that went around was like oh she took my idea and I've heard them say I've heard him say that a couple times and I know for sure one time in regards to something else it was not true. Yeah he said you know she took my idea and and mind you he always told me that he wanted me to do like a woman type of like scenario like a a poetry play but his his idea was to do set it off because set it off is very aggressive it's very like and that's the lane that he be in you feel me so me I had even then I was like no way exhale gone because that that was a movie that I grew up with that like those those characters those women I saw myself in each one of those women you know what I mean so I wanted to do that where he was like set it off I didn't necessarily want to touch set it off you feel me but I would have done it his whole thing was oh let me write for you and I'm like nah yeah I could do this right I could do that now if you want to support me come be in it yeah come be in it but at this point in time holla I'm gonna need you to take a seat and just watch me watch me bloom yes I had some mentorship from him and all of that type of stuff but waiting to exhale was mine. Yeah yeah I did that yeah and and he he didn't put a link around in it.
SPEAKER_00Sorry but even if it was an idea of his first who executed it because at the end of the day you wrote all of our parts yeah we we rehearsed at you know places that you pay for every you know the money the time everything that you spent was you solely you so um yeah fuck him yeah more power to you but fuck you yeah and I and I wish you well nonetheless I don't I don't know him I never met him and I just always kept my distance because uh I I've always heard that he don't like when a motherfucker write their own shit and you ain't about to I've only ever recited something that somebody else wrote and it was your fucking play.
SPEAKER_01Yeah that was it and I and that was the thing I was doing that for him I was doing that for him but the thing was once I started doing that for him those seats also started filling up because Law is who La is yeah I I made regardless of who wrote anything for me that what I brought to it yeah he he wrote the pieces of his own yeah that when I was in his place yes he wrote those and I I agreed to perform have you ever had a platform to where you could talk about this?
SPEAKER_00Nah is this the first one? Yeah that's the first you heard it here at the podcast at Podcast 1001 and I'm glad that this is because you know I I don't give a damn yeah I don't give a damn who we talk about. Yeah we're respectful but you gotta tell your truth you're telling your side of the story it is what it is but I'm glad that you were able to stress that because you know how many people uh consumers of your work were probably sitting at home or consumers of his work were probably sitting at home and you know he probably mouth the because he's a yapper. Yeah yeah and sometimes it's just best to for people to hear your side of things because I mean people could create a narrative and you know you damned if you speak your your piece you damned if you don't so you might as well do just to clear the air and to get some shit corrected.
SPEAKER_01But he knows people even on that side with him like things have unfolded since to where I was just like oh I knew that yeah like because that has to come to you yeah you know what I mean because you gotta you gotta do better. You gotta do better uh with how you handle people or whatever. Yeah at the end of the day me doing my own thing with waiting to hex exhale should have never caused a rift between us. For sure that made no sense unless you was jealous it that made no sense black man yeah like on on top of the fact that you would try to sabotage what I have going on then you on social media like oh she should have gave me credit because I'm the first one to do poetry and music plays. Nigga what about the 420s boy we know what about Shakespeare? What the fuck are we talking about? Like come on no dead ass baby somebody did this before the fuck on like you know what I'm saying it just I'm like cool whatever I will give you the credit for the fact that yes I didn't get into poetry and music plays until I started dealing with his group you know what I mean nonetheless were you ever a part like no I was never a part of Tough Crowd yeah was never a part of Tough Crowd I was always my own entity he asked to be a part of his projects yeah so and that and it was me first it wasn't even just me solely it was YRP you know what I mean but then my your group my my group but that but that is even how me we all connected because he came to one of my group's things. So then it was like oh this is what you do okay we gonna add to that because it's just like you water us we water you type shit you know at least that's how it should be how it should be yeah so it yeah when I when I started well I didn't appreciate the fact that he was trying to take credit for the for me for who I was as an artist. Yeah you did not construct me yeah you never taught me how to write okay and you never nigga the money yeah that that I I I did that yeah I did that you never funded me nothing you know and it was just like it could have been just a respect respect thing I could do something that everybody else that you deal with needs you to do because they don't do what I do. Yeah right like but I've always done what I've done yeah so that's why I didn't need him to write waiting to exhale yeah I didn't need you to fund it I didn't you know what did it take for you to write waiting to exhale that was such a good play it took me a month damn for real it took me a month that was such a good play it was a what like 13 13 what 15 pieces and now to make it into a play that just fit like that we did that in real time yeah like that was that was something happening in the real we probably won't do that again but the way and I and I I mean since you didn't put it all out there um about our riff that I didn't remember that much about but now that we're now that I'm remembering like I said I apologize and I you know I am not above apologizing I apologize in a million times if I need to what I will say is I remember um like I said how hard it was um I remember there was some favoritism I could I could see why it was but how about this how about this again now that I'm older let my best friend be in a play that bitch can do whatever she wants I've been friends with my best friend since I was 12 years old if I ever did a play and she don't do no art nothing like she do here but if she was an artist if she sh I'm about to get on your ass but I'm not about to touch her I know what she I know why she laid I know you know what I'm saying I felt like there were some favorites my favorite I felt like there was some just a lot of animosity I'm glad we passed it I brought all that up though to say we auditioned for that play I never expected a coin because at the end of the day a lot speaks volumes production was it that's all I needed to know that it was um still to this day if you ever do another play bitch kill me and I will like here's the thing what I learned from that experience though Is that for one, like when things are supposed to be the way that they are, people are gonna show up and do what you asked them to do, right? Yeah, but nonetheless, I everybody who I put in the play, I believed in too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You feel me? And I believed in them so much that I wish that I could have done more for y'all.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know what I wish? Cause I again, and back then I didn't have any kids, I wasn't married. I could have, we could have I as far as me, I'll speak for myself. You know what I wish? It wasn't even about being paid. That was such a great play. I always felt like why didn't you take it on the road? Why didn't you shop it somewhere? Because it was so good. I'm like, and then it's such a classic. It's not even it's like you did a rendition of something that people already know. So imagine the people that would have come just off the strength of that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that the the issue was the money. Like, just miracle theater alone, like people do not know, like that theater cost thousands of dollars. At the time, like I I was just like chicken in a career, you feel me? Yeah, nonetheless, um what people don't know is that sometimes when I do projects, I I I could leave home with nothing. Like I could go home with nothing from these projects. Now I'm now that I have a better formula, I could do do something with that, you know, um, and not leave like empty-handed. Yeah but it's really hard in those instances to fund, like if I'm gonna go on the road, then I'ma have to, I'm also have to fund like the staff on the road. Yeah, right. And all of that type of stuff. So, but what waiting to exhale did teach me is that I did not want to do anything else that did not like contribute to the people that are a part of it in some type of way.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, whether it's monetarily or giving giving them access to another platform that's bigger than mine, you know what I mean? Like, it to me is very important that whoever I'm working with, like they get something out of it. Yeah, yeah, you know, and if it means that I go home with nothing, that's what I would want to go home with nothing for. Yeah. Because I know that I gave it to my people, you know. So if that's that's what waiting to exhale taught me. Yeah, you know, but there are people who are like, I'm doing this because for one, I love what I'm doing, I do. And for two, like, I I want to, you know.
SPEAKER_00Because it's law. And relationships are important. And that's uh that's what I've learned in um my journey as a spoken word artist within our community. Relationships really are important and you gotta uh foster them and be careful how you uh how you shape them because people really will go to bat for you if if they just that's you know what I mean? And anybody that I've called to do this show, anybody that I've ever called to come and do a poetry show that I put on or back when I was hosting Little Vire Friday, I mean people would just be like, Oh, bless you there, I'm coming. And I'm like, damn, y'all like me this man? I thought, you know. So it's like, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And people like, and it's because you treat people well. You know what I mean? And and anything that is tied to you has light attached to it as well, you know. So I I I understand why people would would do that for you. Shit, I'm I would do it for you. You know what I mean? Because now I am in a different space to where I am seeing coin from all the hard work from all the hard work that I have been doing for the last 13 going on 14 years. Yeah, yeah, with my writing. I'm just on that upside to where it's like, wow, this is this is starting to pay off literally. You know what I mean? Um, I was just doing it because I and I still do it like because of what I feel the purpose behind it is. For sure. You know, I feel like my messages have have their quality. I feel they're feeling, you know, and I've just gotten into a bag. That's what saw where softening came from, where I wanted my messages to be filled, filling for men.
SPEAKER_00Are you doing uh softening for?
SPEAKER_01I will. Okay. Okay. I will. Um I'm you I'm in this space where it's like, how do I beat what I did before? You know, how do I top that? Like I'm always in that space where it's like, well, what else can I add? What else can I do?
SPEAKER_00Well, you're asking the right questions. I mean, that that's the question you're supposed to ask. And guess what? You're gonna get the answer. Guys gonna be like, oh, do it like this, do it like this. And it does come like that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it really does, because even this last one that I did, I didn't know what I was gonna do that would be better than the last time, you know. Um, because Soften Volumes 2 had my my my students in it. Like it was it was like it was amazing, yeah. You know, so I didn't know what I was gonna do. Yeah, but um the addition to adding men in the mix and working with men, which I have also like for a long time did not like doing working with men in an industry, it could be dangerous for us women, yeah, you know, and I had to trust the relationships that I built with these men. Yeah, and the way that they showed up for me though, yeah. I I I was floored. Yeah, yeah. I was floored, I felt so protected, I felt so at ease, you know, and they I could tell the intention that they were putting into the show because of the love that they have for me. Yeah, you know, and that is something that honestly I'm I'm I'm going to be forever grateful for. Um, but yeah, that's that's definitely um soften volumes three was amazing with the addition of those those men of from all different walks of life, though. Married men, yeah, we got we got rappers, we got the literal gang members, you know, like they were all up there. Yeah. They were all up there in, you know, expressing what softness and gentleness meant to them. Even doing it in action with me. It's like I'm here because uh they they were there to exhibit what how they treated me softly, yeah, and how they were willing to back me and back my vision. Yeah you know, so I um I thought that was a very important thing for us to see, especially in the climate now with social media dragging this narrative that we're always in a gender war. Right, right, right. And so I felt like it was time to uh come in with a different conversation.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Even even these men that you wouldn't typically see, yeah, you know, or think would be about loving a woman and being in and and and showing up um for her in a healthy way, though. Yeah, you know, um they have the capacity and the ability to do that. And I I wanted to to you know put that in the forefront because I really do think that it is time to shift the conversation about how we handle each other, yeah, um men and women, you know, and uh specifically black men and women. Yeah, because that's what we care about. Yeah, I ain't gonna lie, that's that that's that's where the lineage that I'm pushing for were sure. So um, yeah, that to me is is very important. So my addition to the that and uh um wanting to just create a different environment for us all is like I do not participate in the conversations that do not help us grow. Yeah, for sure. I don't I don't really care about the fucking conversations of whose role is to do what. Is it 50-50? I like what are we talking about that for? Right, because all of our dynamics are gonna be different, exclusive to that certain situation.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just from that situation, period.
SPEAKER_01How your husband husbands you ain't probably ain't gonna be how my husband is gonna husband, right? You know, and that's cool. Yes, nobody should be judging anybody's dynamic if that is what works for you as long as you're healthy and happy, right? Right, as long as you're healthy and happy, right?
SPEAKER_00What do I give a fuck? Hold up, La. Let's get because we ain't answer, we didn't ask the motherfucking question on this card. But since we're on the topic of your babes, okay, yeah, um, your new relationship, I want to know about it, and I want to know what this new season of love has been teaching La. And do we love him?
SPEAKER_01Oh, ooh, do we love him? Absolutely. Cameron Walker. Oh, not his full gun. Cameron Walker. What's your first name? La Shine. La Shanay Walker. Okay.
SPEAKER_02La Shanay Walker.
SPEAKER_01You can put a ring on it. Um and and it will happen in due time. I know, I know that this man is my husband. Okay. I know um Cameron Walker, known as K-Stone. He has uh a name of his own. He has a light of his own. What does he do? Uh he he's a rapper from Delamo.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_01Um, you know, and he's a wild card.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Uh we like a wild card. And but he he's so humble. Yeah. He's so sweet.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, you know, and he's so great. I think that what I have learned. He's so great. Yes. He is. He's he's very much great, and he's great even when I can't stand him. Yeah. You know, because he is he's so authentic to himself, and he's a loud lover. Um, I have never been loved this loud to where it is like scary. Um, and I didn't know how many people were like, they finally wanted to see me in this space. Yeah. Because I think for a long time, well, yes, for a long time. And throughout my my poetry career and everything, people have seen me in a space of that is very contrast to what I'm what I'm in now. Right. Right. Um Cameron doesn't bring up any of that for me. Um what I have learned is that I'm in the fairy tale that I make, you know? And the fairy tale is going to still be a fairy tale even when it gets hard, you know? Yeah. Because when you think about the Snow White when she was when she was laying down because she choked on that that apple. I never seen Snow White, but go. Okay. But I choked it on an apple. I was a fairy tale girl. You know, the the the the wicked witch, she gave her a poison, poisonous apple, and it and it uh was supposed to kill her or keep her asleep forever. But and only real love could, you know, wake her up. So the thing, the thing about it is like the fairy tale didn't stop being the fairy tale when she was sleep and she had nothing to give this man. You know, he still went and felt like he had love to give, and that's what woke her up. You know, and in this season that I'm in right now, um, I'm just understanding that like my my fairy tale isn't a fairy tale because he just satisfies and supplies every need.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's because every need. The sex good. The sex girl, don't play because one to you. Yeah, the a thousand. Period. A thousand? Yeah. Um the thing is, and when I when I mean like knees, it's just like he can't, he, he can't be my answer to everything. But he tries, you know, and on top of the fact that like he's in a space of healing himself, and I have been a contributor to that, to where the things that make him happy, like he's really like invested in. Yeah. And sometimes I be like, hello, but we're I'm right here, you know. But I want to see him happy. I want to see him like flourish. So even when I'm not a part of that necessarily, like what I have learned is that I gotta, I gotta, I gotta let him be. He he deserves a happiness outside of me. Right? Right, right. He deserves happiness outside of me. And I I'm I'm like in what his what I would look at as selfishness sometimes for himself and like really holding on to his happiness for himself is like this is a great conversation. I'm gonna have you get back here. I need to also like uh take part in that selfishness, right? Because when he's all about him and I'm all about him, I have to remember that I somebody has to be about me. Yep. So at that point in time, I can't be all about him.
SPEAKER_00Lashana, you have to be about your would you say your I don't want to call it a neediness, but like would you say that your neediness to be all inclusive in his everything stems from your childhood?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I definitely do. Um, and that's something that I had to reflect on myself, like, you know, um, and it's okay, like even when I'm not a part of those things with him, like the man still loves me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like he gonna still come home, girl. Like it ain't, you know, so I y'all living together? Yeah. Oh, y'all humping every night.
SPEAKER_00Or maybe not every night. That's a really hump. Actually, you hump every night when y'all ain't living. When y'all start living together, you can get it when you can't.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know, you know.
SPEAKER_01Um, but that's healthy though. It's healthy. It's healthy. It's it's the thing, the thing about it, like he's into what's making him happy right now. And I am for whatever makes him happy too. So sometimes I I have to take a back seat to that. And it it has been uncomfortable. Nonetheless, it's like this is that there's nobody who lights me up like him. Yeah, there's nobody who fills me up like him. And I bet I fill me up with a baby that's listening. It's coming, Lot. It's coming. But it's it's just nobody like him. He's so charismatic. How is he? He's 31. Oh, okay. Wow. We live in a second line. My husband is 36. Really? What? It's so crazy, bro. But what's crazy is I I ain't gonna lie to you. This is the youngest that I've ever dated. Really? Like, I would not date any younger. Like, and this was almost like a I don't know if I wanna do that. You know, um, but I but in all of this, I realized like even with my age, there's some things that I don't have. Like, I just don't know. You know what I mean? And and that's because I haven't experienced those things yet. But there are things that I do know from my my my experiences, my my uh the the wisdom that comes with age. Yeah, you know what I mean? And he's not there yet. And that is something that I had to learn how to really accept the fact that he ain't yeah, it's not that he don't want to be there. It's like right now he has to have his own experiences for that light bulb to go off. And that's honest. You know what I mean? And it's like there's no reason for me to judge him for that. Yeah um, and I appreciate being able to to watch hit his growth. Yeah, you know, and when when the light bulb does go off, and it's like it's not because I'm forcing him to is and even in our relationship, it's like he chose this relationship. Yeah, not necessarily because we were just oh my gosh, we're just so ready for this. It's like let me just lean in, yeah, you know, and yeah, and every day it's like it's it definitely makes me check myself as far as like girl, you thought you know something, but this is this is making me wiser, you know, and it's making him wiser too. Yeah, and I'm practicing a little bit more um discernment when it comes to the fact that I don't have to correct him all the time. Like at the at the end of the day, life is gonna do it. Life is gonna correct him. What needs to be corrected, it will. You know? And I I've I've just learned to take the back seat to when it's a hard law. Yeah, no, I'm a correct one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_00And the cold part about it, I won't correct nobody else but my husband, I'll be like, and he be like, back up. I don't know what type of I I don't know what that, I don't know if all women are like that, but are we the same way? Like if you don't correct your food, you don't correct it.
SPEAKER_01We see what your things that they because he was a thing.
SPEAKER_00It don't got nothing to do with age.
SPEAKER_01Mine's 36 and I'm still like uh and that's the truth because here's the thing when it's your person, what they decide to do that affects you. Yeah. And like at the end, at the end of the day, we're a team. Yeah, you know what I mean? And you can't just go and decide something and don't consult with your team member. So when those things are happening, when you feel the need to correct, it's like, hold on, baby, I could see something that you're not seeing right now. Because I have a long life experience, you know, and and and women are into our intuition, yeah. It speaks to us, you know, and we in our gut, uh we know one thing about our gut, it don't lie. Okay. So when we are, it's not because I want to be nitpicky, it's not because of that. It's like, baby, I see where this is going and I'm not feeling it.
SPEAKER_00I'm the same way, you know. I when with my husband, I be like, I know I'm younger, but the discernment I have okay, unmatched. Um, the girl. And I hate to say it, but the trauma that I've experienced as a youth, it'll prepare you for so much when you're older, you can grow up faster. You grow up faster. And so I'm like, I'm seeing it from this. I know you're seeing it from this, but you had, you know, you had your mom, you were raised by your mom. Not saying that you had a better life than I did or I had a worse. You've been comparing it at all. It's not about a comparison, but it is about trauma grew me up faster. Growing up in growing up in the area might be a little green, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You might be a little in the fields with this shit, you're frozen and shit, and I'm just like, hold on, like, hold on. Literally, literally. But what I have learned is that you know, when people also feel like it's hard for people to also like they they're taking heed to what you're saying, but that also means that something that they're doing is not right. Yeah, right. So to have that, to have that accountability for the fact that if I take this advice, I have to admit that something that I'm doing and what I should be doing, yeah, that that is that's hard. Yeah, yeah. That's hard to grow through. Yes. So that's why I have I'm learning like in real time though. Like this might have been something I learned this week type shit. Yeah, yeah. Because I've been wanting to tussle with with my men because he done got on my Nonetheless, I have realized it's like, you know what? I don't need there to be friction between us because it'll get to a point if I'm correcting too much, he'll stop listening. I do not need him to generate people in general. Not just meant for real, but it's like I'm learning this at home. I don't ever want him to get to a point where it's like if he really needs something, yeah, like and he he he's like, I'm not gonna go to her because she always feels like I'm making the right move or whatever the fuck. So it's like I've learned like whatever he's meant to experience, those experiences are going to happen and those are gonna shape him. Yeah. And because I know how great he is, he's gonna take what he needs to take out of those experiences. And it's not gonna be on my time. Yeah, it's gonna be on on his, it's gonna be on, it's on God's time. Right, right. So at the end of the day, like this is this is a marathon. Yeah, it's not a sprint. Yeah, we got this. He's great. He's gonna make, he's he's going to get to the point that he needs to get to because I know that he already possesses those qualities. Yeah. And this is not about potential, this is about what's real. What's your favorite thing about him? My favorite thing. Favorite thing. My favorite thing about him is his optimism. Wow.
SPEAKER_00Yes, love!
SPEAKER_01It's his optimism.
SPEAKER_00Would you say you were more on the pessimistic side, or are you optimistic as well? I'm optimistic.
SPEAKER_01To a fault. Yeah. And I've been but here's the thing about my optimism. It's like I've seen my optimism go left, right? Yeah. You know, to where I've had a repercussion for my optimism. Yeah. You know, I know, I understand. So I just like, but I love how optimistic he is and everything.
SPEAKER_00And it's almost like like oblivious. Like, if he thinks something's just gonna work, it's it's gonna work because he thinks it's gonna work. Hell yeah. And you know what the beauty in that is? And this is why God is very strategic about who he puts in your life. Because it's literally the same way. I mean, we we gotta talk after this, but it's you know, my husband is the same way, and he's like, it's not going to not happen because I believe it is gonna happen. Yeah, and that optimism is a gateway into some crazy faith. And if you are intentional about how you use your optimism, it pleases the Lord because it allows him the room to do the thing that you believe him so tough to do because you don't believe in the uh uh uh uh uh plan B or plan C. Your only focus is plan A. Now, for us, like me and you, I'm like, I'm believing so hard in plan A, but I gotta be in the C on standby because I know what it looks like when plan A really hits the fucking floor and fail.
SPEAKER_01And that's the thing, like he he's he has crazy faith. His faith is that that man is a godly man. That's a fruit of the spirit. Wait, and the guy is the on from the outside looking in, people don't know how godly he is, and I didn't know how godly he was because I just saw like the thing. The Linux Letter Lord, yeah. I just saw the thug shit, I just saw the the antics and all of that, and he's a whole like he really looks at stuff like as far as music and you know the industry and all of that. He he's like, this is a character, yeah. I know how to play the part. Okay, yeah, and that's my like this is but who I am to you, yeah. Who I am to you, baby, it it it ain't that, yeah. You know what I mean? So he's he is so godly, he's so optimistic, and he teaches me how to just like let go. Yeah, you know, um, but yeah, I love I love that most about him. He's he's great.
SPEAKER_00Um you know, it's too many questions on this car. I ain't gonna get to them all, but I want to know what advice would you give to your 25-year-old self? And then after you tell me that, I need to know the advice you would give to 15-year-old lost face value. So first 25 and 15.
SPEAKER_01Okay, 25. 25. This is not it. Okay. This is this is this is not the last. This is not the best.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay. There's more for you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But as soon as you allow your yourself to open up to the fact that there's more for you and you can start over. Yeah, there is someone who is going to love you as you are. You are not going to have to be forced into to doing anything. You do not have to compromise yourself. This is not it. This is not the end of the road. This is not the end of your story. And you there's so much more to come for you. You just gotta go after it. Yeah. That's for my 25-year-old, so my 15-year-old, so baby. You are all of the things. I know that's right. Okay. You know all of the things. I know, you know, you may have had some acne outbreaks, and you know, you you didn't feel like curves was sitting in the right places and all of that, and you also didn't know that you had a voice. Though you are all of those things. All of those things that people told you you weren't. All of those things that when you looked in the mirror, you didn't see in yourself. Yeah, you are all of that, maybe and more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Continue to pour into yourself, make time for yourself, make space for yourself, and continue to write. You're gonna write yourself out of some pain. Okay. And you're going to be able to see all the light that you possess and just keep hanging on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. But you are you are that girl though. You're all of that.
SPEAKER_00When it's all said and done, and Laia's no longer here, um, because we've went on to the great beyond. And I mean, this is far this is far apart. Um, what are your children gonna say about the type of mother you were? And what is your husband gonna say about the type of wife you were?
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay, that's true, according. I know! I thought you I was just gonna Okay, go on what I was feeling. Okay, because you put children in there that I don't have yet. Yet, yes, okay. Um, a lot of people don't know that um I've had five miscarriages. Okay, I didn't know it was that many. I have five miscarriages. Um and the thing is I am a mother. Yes, yes. Okay. Um my babies did not make it to this side of the world. Nonetheless, I I know that where they are, they are proud of who I am. Yeah. Damn loud now I'm about to grow up. Um and they know why they couldn't be here. For sure. Um, and I know why too. For sure. Okay, um, I have no regrets. Um, but what I what I do feel like their future siblings are going to think and say about me is that my mother made it happen.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And she's always gonna make it happen. She is a woman of integrity, she's a woman of pure love. Um and she's a healer, you know. And they're going to be able to read my works to their children. Yes, a lot, you know, and they're going to see my legacy transcend past my body, my physical being, you know, because they're gonna say that my my mom did what she had to do. Yeah, she and she spoke for the people, um, and and she elevated the people. And um, my mother is a history maker, you know. Um, my husband, Kevin Walker, okay. Um, he's going to be able to say that he had the privilege. No, okay. No, facts. He had the privilege to see because it is a privilege. To see the light that I carried and be a person who helped me carry that light.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, and he is going to be able to say that um I work my ass off.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And he knows that I will I'm I'm a I'm a person who is willing to sacrifice.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, um, and he's going to be able to say that my family, our family, has reaped the fruit of the sacrifices that I've made because, again, I did them with integrity. I I did them not compromising the woman that I am. And I and I did the things that I knew were right to do.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, and um he he he's gonna be able to say that, you know, I was a great I am a great ass teammate.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. We're gonna go from this. We're gonna we're gonna go from this. But before we go. Your firstborn child. Your firstborn child. What's the first thing that you because I don't want to prompt this with I want you to greet them. I want you to bring them here. Okay? So say anything that you want, and we don't get the fuck up out of here. Say anything that you want to them. Because these these, I mean, this is a podcast and it's digital, so it's going to be out there and it's going to be out there for forever as long as we have digital hoopla. She's gonna see this. What do you say to her? What do you say to her? Welcome home, baby.
SPEAKER_01I am ready for you. There's so much love that is here for you. You are on purpose full of purpose. Yeah. You are the greatest thing, the greatest gift that I have ever been presented with. You are going, you are catapulting me. You have made me arrive. You you make me who I I am. You you you you you place emphasis on that, you know, and um you make me bigger. And um because of you, I am going to be bigger. I am going to be greater. So welcome home. And thank you for making a home for me.
SPEAKER_00And we love you, baby girl. TT Blacks loves you. We do love you. We can't wait to meet you. Oh my God. Um you kiddle. This is great. Um, yeah, I want y'all to know this was so I was asking shit that wasn't even on the card. Um, we're gonna have to have you back. I actually want Cameron to come back. Um not come back, but to come. I'll probably do like a little couple's something. You know what I mean? Have you and I'll probably bring my husband. I want to get into some things. That would be so great. Um okay, y'all. This is this is Podcast 1001. We have the Lost Beaks volumes in the house. We turned with the volume, y'all. We're gonna see y'all back next week with another episode. Where do you come at?