Kenneth Kunken: From Paralysis to Purpose | Cornell Injury Changed Everything | W.A.R. Network

What happens when your life changes in a single second?

At 20 years old, Kenneth Kunken suffered a devastating spinal cord injury while playing football at Cornell University, leaving him nearly paralyzed from the shoulders down.

Most people would have called that the end.

Ken turned it into a beginning.

In this episode of W.A.R. — We’re All Recovering, Ken shares his journey through nine months of hospitals and rehab, returning to Cornell before disability laws existed, being carried up steps just to attend class, and ultimately building a life of purpose.

From engineer to lawyer to Assistant District Attorney for over 40 years, Ken’s story is about resilience, identity, and redefining strength after everything is stripped away.

We talk about the mental war after trauma, the unseen battles of recovery, family, legacy, and what it really means to rebuild when life doesn’t go as planned.

This isn’t motivation.

This is reality.

This is W.A.R.

Watch, share, and send this to someone who needs it.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It's war. Welcome home. Welcome back to war. We're all recovering. This isn't just a podcast. This is a place where we talk about the fights people don't see, the battles after the headlines, the recovery after trauma, the rebuilding after the identity you thought you had, you know, gets ripped away. When it gets ripped away, and today's guest is exactly what war stands for. Today we're sitting down with Ken Cunkin, a man who at 20 years old broke his neck playing football at Cornell University, a spinal cord injury at the C four five level, almost totally paralyzed from the shoulders down. Nine months in hospitals and rehabs. Most people would have called that the end. Ken called it the beginning. He returned to Cornell, graduated in engineering, earned graduate degrees, went to law school, became an assistant district attorney for over 40 years, deputy bureau chief, mentor, husband, father of triplets, hall of fame inductee, author of I Dream of Things That Never Were. And welcome to Ward.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

Thank you very much. Thank you for having me as your guest.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Yes, sir. It's a pleasure and an honor. And let's start from the beginning. Take us back to that moment in 1970. You're 20 years old, Junior at Cornell, football player, future ahead of you. What do you remember about that tackle? What was that what was the first thought that crossed your mind when you realized something was wrong?

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Well, I really didn't know what was wrong. I felt like a stinging electric shock through my body. Uh, and I went totally numb below my shoulders. And as a result, I lost all movement below my shoulders. So I didn't know what had happened. I had never heard of a spinal cord injury before, but I had heard of a pinched nerve, and I thought maybe that's what I had, although I didn't even know what that was. So I was lying on the field, it was a kickoff, and I had just tackled the ball carrier, and you know, the teams were changing sides. Nobody seemed to know I was even injured. So I called out that I can't move, um, and they had the team doctor come out and actually what two other doctors at the game too. And there were three doctors standing over me and they seemed even puzzled about what had happened. So they eventually there was not an ambulance at the game, but they called for an ambulance. They brought out a stretcher and they put it under me to lift me up and move me off the field. And that was probably the strangest sensation I ever had, because when they lifted me off the ground, it felt like they had just lifted up my head and left the rest of my body behind. I felt as if I had been decapitated because I had no feeling below my shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Wow, what hits what hits me about that moment is how fragile identity is, you know, like one play, one second, one moment in time, and the version of yourself you thought were you were is gone, you know? And I think I think a lot of people listening may not have broken their neck, but they've had that moment, you know? That divorce, that diagnosis, that loss, whatever, military deployment, you know, that mistake, you know, that's when you know the war begins. That's I'm so sorry that happened to you. So am I. Yes, sir. And you spent over nine months in the hospitals and rehabs. What was harder, the physical reality or the mental one?

SPEAKER_00 3:28

It was both. I mean, the physical was absolutely brutal. Not only was it painful, but because I couldn't move at all, I became totally dependent on everybody else around me. But mentally, I really didn't know what was happening or taking place, and most of the medical profession didn't seem to want to tell me. They seemed to think the less the patient knew the better. So I was kind of kept in the dark about everything that was happening to me.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Did you ever have moments where you were like, I can't do this, you know, I just gotta, you know?

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Just about every moment from then on while I was in the hospital, I became so incredibly depressed, and as each day went on, even more depressed, because it was clear to me I was not improving, and I still didn't know what was happening.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

That's a you know, part a lot of people don't see, you know, recovery isn't always the inspirational quotes and stuff, it's the dark rooms, it's silence, is grieving the person you used to be. Man, I could only imagine. And the fact that you testify before a U.S. Senate subcommittee while uh still a patient, that tells me something inside. You refuse to, you know, be small.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Yeah, that happened six months after my injury. I was asked to testify before a United States Health Senate subcommittee chaired by Senator Edward Kennedy.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Right, I've read that. I've read that. You returned to Cornell in 1971 before the Americans with the Disabilities Act. You had to be pulled up the steps just to attend class. What did that feel like? Was that humbling, straight in, or just fuel?

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Well, it was kind of all of the above. I mean, when I was injured, there was not one ramp or curb cut on the entire Cornell campus. So on my first day of classes, I had to be either pulled up or bounced down close to 100 steps just to attend my first day. And I remember coming back to the dorm that I was in, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking I must be crazy to be doing this, and pushing myself to go back to school and try and continue with my education when they had all of these barriers out. But I remember lying in bed thinking I had no plan B. I didn't know what else I would do unless I made it work while I was at Cornell. And I was actually grateful that they took me back as a student because they were not used to handling somebody in my condition as a student on their campus.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

I'm just visualizing all this, Ken. I'm just I just want to let you know that that right there is legacy. You know, you weren't just finishing school, you were forcing systems to confront reality. You know, sometimes recovery isn't quiet, it's disruptive. And, you know, like I'm just visualizing everything. That's just like I said, I can only imagine, you know, that's the legacy, sir.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Let me just tell you a story while I was up there. The dorm room that I was in was in a building that had ten steps in front of it. And I asked the school administration if they could at least put in a ramp to my dorm so I wouldn't have to go up and down those ten steps a few times each day.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

And, you know, while they weren't trying to not be helpful, they just didn't understand, you know, what was involved in helping somebody with a disability. So they initially turned down my request, and they told me that in order to put in a ramp there, they would have to remove two bushes, and they were concerned students might protest if they removed the bushes. So that was the attitude back then, and quite frankly, I understood it. This was during the Vietnam War. There were protests going on all throughout campus. I know the students would have done anything to help me and were very helpful and supportive, but I could understand the administration being concerned there might be more protests if they removed two bushes. That was the attitude back then. And what happened is my second semester back at school, they had a fire drill. Now, when that happened, of course, everybody has to evacuate the building. And the next day, the school administration asked me how I managed. And I told them very honestly that I was able to get out by having my attendant bounce me down the ten steps. I felt bad because I know I slowed up the other students who were able to get out of here.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Right. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

No, within two weeks they put in a ramp.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

They put in a ramp.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Yeah, to me, that ramp was not for my convenience, but rather for everybody else's safety. And that was fine with me. At least now I had a ramp to use.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Right, right, right. I could just see you going down the stairs, and you know, what if it was a a raging fire and you had to get down quickly, you know, like yeah, that that would have been a disaster.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

Not just for me, but for everybody else in the building.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Exactly, right, right. So you shifted from engineering to rehabilitation counseling, then law school, then 40 plus years as a prosecutor. Right. Okay. So why law? What drove that shift?

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Okay, well, first while I was at Cornell, it was clear engineering was not a viable field for me. I mean, this was well before the age of laptop computers, and it was really difficult for me to function. But I had a psychology professor who thought I could make a difference in people's lives by going into the field of counseling and becoming a counselor and helping others. So I did that, and I was fortunate to be employed at an organization called Abilities Incorporated, which is part of what's now called the Viscard Center on Long Island, where we helped other individuals with disabilities. And I worked as a vocational rehabilitation counselor. And I used to speak before groups and organizations concerning affirmative action and non-discrimination with respect to people with disabilities. And often after my talks I would be asked questions, and while I would do my best to respond appropriately, I was always careful to caution the questioners, they should really consult with a lawyer about their concerns. I guess it didn't take long before I started to think, you know, there's no reason why I couldn't become that so I left my job and went to law school at Hostra University.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

That's awesome. That's awesome. I know Hostra. I know exactly what Hostra is. I've passed it many times, many times. And I hear a lot of purpose in that. You didn't just survive, you know, you redirected. And a lot of people, you know, say stay stay stuck. And they ask, why me? You're asking now what? That's powerful. That's powerful. So let's talk about Anna. You married in 2003. You're the father of triplet boys, Joey, Jimmy, Timmy. How did becoming a husband and father change you? What has Anna meant to meant to your journey?

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Everything. It totally changed my life. Certainly helped me deal with my depression. I mean, James, I wake up every morning with a smile on my face, Dale. I am so blessed to have my wife Anna in my life. And it originally started when Anna answered one of my ads to help me as my personal care attendant on weekends. And you know, when I met Anna, the more I got to know her and speak with her, the more our relationship turned from, you know, attendant to a person helping me, to becoming a good friend, to becoming a great friend, to it becoming a romantic relationship and eventually in marriage. And when we decided to get married, Anna said she wanted to have my baby. Now this really seemed impossible. At the time I'd been paralyzed for more than thirty years, and I was already in my fifties. But we looked into various options, including in vitro fertilization. We went through it and through the miracle of science and became pregnant, and on January 24th, 2005, I was present in the delivery room. Think about this. I was in the delivery room when Anna gave birth to triplets. That is awesome. We have three incredible sons, Joey, Jimmy, and Timmy. They're now juniors at three separate colleges in upstate New York.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

That is awesome. We need to shoot a movie. I mean, your life scene's amazing. That's awesome. I love that. They need to do a whole Netflix movie on you, everything. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Yeah, well, I've been very fortunate that I've had a lot of help along the way. Obviously Kamana and my three sons, but my entire family and a wonderful group of friends who have been very supportive and helped me every step of the way.

SPEAKER_01 12:08

That's wonderful. That's wonderful. So what kind of father did you want to be? Did your injury shape how you showed up for your sons?

SPEAKER_00 12:15

You know, it was really strange. After my injury, I thought I would never get married because I didn't think, you know, it would be fair to the woman. I thought it would be too limited. And I had my family encouraging me not to feel that way, that they felt there's a lot I still had to offer, and it should be the woman's choice. But then when I met Anna and we talked about having a child, I was also very skeptical. I mean with my father, you know, we'd go go out, he taught me how to throw and catch a baseball, and we did other things together. And I always thought, how could I be a father if I can't do some of these things? Well, convinced me that to pursue it because she knew I was an uncle to many nephews and nieces, and thought I acted very nicely as an uncle, that I was helpful for my nephews and nieces, and thought I could be a good father and a good provider for them. So, through Anna's advice and suggestions and pleading, I decided I would pursue it. And it's the most wonderful, wonderful thing I've ever done. I absolutely love being my three children's father. I love every interaction we have, and it's been a wonderful, wonderful challenge to raise triplets. We certainly didn't plan on having triplets when they were born. Right, right. But we were just truly lucky.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Right, yes, that's beautiful. That part moves me. You know, career is one thing, awards is another thing, but family, you know, that's the real scoreboard. That's the best thing in life. Yes, sir, yes, sir. And the fact that your sons graduated from the same high schools we did 55 years later, you know, that's generational impact. You know, that's rewriting the narrative. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

It sure is, and in fact, one of them is now a junior at Cornell, my Albamada.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Yes, sir, that's amazing. Hats off to you guys. Hats off to you guys.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yes, sir. Your memoir is titled I Dream of Things That Never Were. Why that title?

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Okay. Uh I indicated that I had testified before a United States Health Sub Senate Subcommittee. And eight days after my testimony, Senator Kennedy sent me a glass paperweight in the mail that had an inscription on it that the Senator said his late brother Robert Kennedy liked very much. And the inscription read, Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream of things that never were, say why not. And that's where I got the title of my book, I dream of things that never were. The Ken Cunkin story.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Let's make that into a movie, Ken. Let's get them on the phone. Let's get them on the phone. Well, it sounds good. I love it. I love it. So what dream are you living now that 20-year-old Ken couldn't have imagined?

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Well, the fact that here I am, married, three wonderful sons, living in a very nice house and a very nice community, helping other individuals whenever I have the opportunity. That includes not just my immediate family, but friends, people from the district attorney's office where I used to work, and I'm now retired. Uh I'm living the American dream right now. And, you know, I want to be able to help other people that have disabilities and show them there's an awful lot they can still do with their lives. So I'm trying to be productive and helpful in any way that I can be.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Okay, okay, okay. You know, you're very inspirational, Ken. You're very inspirational. Let's get real. Let me ask you something real. Were there moments of anger, bitterness? Did you ever feel like life owed you something?

SPEAKER_00 15:56

You know, I don't know if I ever felt life owed me something. But anger, bitterness, absolutely. I mean, I was about as depressed as anybody could be. And I can remember that when I was a patient in the hospital, I used to have many members of the clergy come and visit me. I never asked them to come, but they just came. All different religions would come. And when they'd come into my room, they would always ask me how I am, and I'd respond terrible. I'd say, You seem to have a special relationship with God. Can you tell me why I was injured? And they all kind of gave the same response no matter what religion they were in. God works in mysterious ways. Nobody understands the workings of God. Right, right. But we're sure he has a plan for you in the end. Now that didn't bring me much comfort at the time. But looking back at it now, if God's plan was that I needed to become so disabled that I would need to meet Anna and depend on her to help me, and that our relationship would develop to where we then became the father of triplet boys, I think it was a pretty good plan.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Right, right. You know, I always had faith that God, you know, guides guides each of us individually on the right path that he wants us on, you know. And no matter how hard you try, you're gonna end up there anyway, you know. And I really believe that he he does have a plan. Nobody understands it, but I really believe that. And that honesty is important because resilience isn't pretending, it's processing, you know, it's choosing to keep moving even when you don't feel noble. So thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

It's worked out well for me.

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Yes, sir. I could I could tell. And Ken, if someone listening right now feels like their life changed and a feel like their life changed in a second, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_00 17:46

I've been there. I know what it's like. And it has changed in a second, but it didn't end, and we're fortunate for that. There's an awful lot we can still do, no matter what our physical circumstances are. Sometimes it takes time to realize that and to regroup and make the most of what you do have in your life. Sometimes you need to make a lot of different adjustments that you never anticipated you would need to do. But never give up, never stop fighting. Sometimes you need to show people that just because something has not been done before doesn't mean you cannot do it now. Just keep hope, keep working hard, and never give up.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Right, right. I second that, I second that. Said you said said that very well. So Kim, what's ahead what's the future?

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Well, obviously being a father of my three sons and you know, enjoying helping them grow, develop, and become the best people they can be. But I'm also active in the Viscoty Center where I used to work. I'm on their board of directors, excuse me. I'm on the Cornell University Council. I'm a member of the Suffolk County Rehabilitation Society, the county next to where I live, and I'm enjoying retirement as well. And just being, you know, a family man, you know, and a good friend to many other individuals. I'm enjoying my life.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

Any upcoming books, projects?

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Well, no more books. Uh, but you know, I've been the guest on a lot of different podcasts. I've been active, you know, with these other organizations that I've mentioned, and I'm just thoroughly enjoying being a father to my three sons.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Well done. Ken, I appreciate you. Your story isn't about paralysis, it's about purpose. It's about refusing to shrink, it's about redefining strength. And that's what war is. We're not glorifying struggle, we're honoring the rebuild. Ken, thank you for coming on. To everyone watching, if this episode spoke to you, share it. Send it to someone who needs it because somebody out there is in the middle of their ninth hospital moment, nine-month hospital moment, and they need to hear this. Sorry, this that chokes me up a little bit. It's war each one reach one. We're all recovering. Ken, please tell the people out there where they can find you, where they could order your book, your website, social media, where they could book you, everything.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Thank you. Well, they can go on my website, which is KenCunkin.com, and that will tell everyone a little more about me, as well as where they can order the book. My book is available in the hardcover. You can see a copy of it behind me on the shelf now. It's also in an ebook version, as well as an audio book, which I narrated, and my son Timothy actually did the recording for it. So it'll tell you a number of different ways that you can purchase the book and as well as to learn more about me. And I appreciate the opportunity to share my story.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Thank you, Kent. Thank you, and take care of yourself and your beautiful family. And again, thank you for coming on.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Thank you. Thank you.