LAST ONE STANDING: Shot in the Head, Lost Everything, Rebuilt It All | John Carter | W.A.R.

Welcome home.

This is W.A.R. We’re All Recovering.

In this powerful episode, we sit down with John Carter, a man who survived a point blank gunshot to the back of his head and was told he would never walk or talk again.

He proved them wrong.

With nine bullet fragments still in his skull, John fought through addiction, depression, prison, and unimaginable loss, becoming the last one standing after losing his brothers and nearly losing himself.

Today, he is the owner of Titanium Health and Fitness, author of Triggered to Change, and a living example of what it means to rebuild your life from nothing.

This is not just a story about survival.

This is about purpose.

In this episode:

- Surviving a gunshot to the head  

- Addiction, depression, and prison  

- Losing family and becoming the last one standing  

- Rebuilding identity through discipline and fitness  

- Why there is no perfect time to change  

- The mindset that separates survivors from rebuilders  

If you are struggling, stuck, or feel like it is too late...

This episode is for you.

There is no perfect time.

There is only right now.

It’s W.A.R.

Each one reach one.

#WARNetwork #WeAreRecovering #JohnCarter #Motivation #AddictionRecovery #MentalHealth #SelfImprovement #Discipline #Trauma #Podcast #RealTalk #SurvivorStory

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It's war.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome home. Welcome back to war. We're all recovering. This is the place where we talk about the war as people fight in silence. And today, this one right here, this is about survival, loss, addiction, and rebuilding your life when everything has fallen apart. Today we're sitting down with John Carter. At 22 years old, he was arising and forcing the mafia until a point blank gunshot to the back of his head changed everything. Doctors said he would never walk again, never talk again. But he got back up. Even today, with nine bullet fragments still in the skull, he fought through disability, depression, addiction, prison. Now owns titanium health and fitness in Brookline, Massachusetts, helping people rebuild their lives the same way he rebuilt his. Author of Trigger to Change. I love that name, by the way. Gave a TED talk, and most importantly, a man who understands what it means to lose everything and still find a way forward. John Carter, welcome to war. It's a pleasure and an honor to have you. Awesome, my friend. Thank you so much. Yes, sir. So let's let's go straight into it, shall we? You got that, my friend. Okay, so take us back to that moment. Twenty-two years old, moving the way you were moving in life, and then a point blank gunshot to the back of your head. What do you remember about that day?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Okay, so I'm gonna start off at the beginning why I got into a situation, my upbringing. Okay. I was raised in an unconventional childhood. My father was in the mob and the mafia. And so I I loved my dad. And I wanted to be like him. I mean, he was the best dad. Never missed the ball game, always there for me, a great dad. He never brought his outside business into the family. So we I had no clue when I was a child. I just knew that I loved him. I wanted to be like him. And I watched him with the guys around him, and I still didn't know what he was doing, but he had all the guys around him, so I wanted to be like him. So when he died, I wanted to wear his shoes, but I was not his size. So immediately I found myself in a world of trouble. This man, instead of paying me a gambling debt he owed me, decided to shoot me in the back of the head and leave me for dead. Wow. But I survived that. And that was the easiest part of my story as my life spiraled out of control with depression, drug addiction, gambling, and even Prince Day. And that that that's what happened to me.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

And I love when you said that uh you wanted to wear his shoes, but they weren't your size. I love that I just it's perfect. So you wake up, you're being told you'll never walk again, you'll never talk again. You know, that's not just physical, that's identity being ripped away. So what went through your mind when you realized your life was never gonna be what it was?

SPEAKER_01 3:11

Well, besides the bullet going through my mind, I spent ninety days in a coma. So I I went down and I didn't know what happened to me. And Stryker, the whole 90 days of this coma was a dream, and it was the craziest, craziest moment of my life. This dream was vivid and real. It wasn't like a regular dream. Like this happened in 1992, and I remember it like it was yesterday. It was so vivid, it was real. It was one long life that I lived in this dream. Now in the midst of this dream, we were in a hospital. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I remind you it was a dream. And I was chained to our bed, and every day they would come and get us all and get us into a swimming pool. And the winner of the race got to go home. And I kept losing and losing and losing and finally this is the first time I said that in my life. I said I quit. That's it, I'm not doing this no more. It hurt so bad to get into that pool. That night an old man sat in my bed who I have no idea who it was, I have no recollection of of him at all. And he said, John, you're not gonna quit. I'm gonna coach you, I'm gonna guide you, and you're not gonna quit. Every day he would take me down to that pool, and he would train me. And I couldn't believe it. Now it's the day of the big race. He gets me down to the pool, he gives me this big pep talk, and I remember swimming like a bat out of hell. I touch the wall and I woke.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Wow, that that sounds amazing. That sounds kind of like a near-death experience in a way. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

It was crazy. Right. No, it was cra I wrote all about this in my book. It's a it's a it's a long dream. And to get into it, it's really crazy.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

I trust me, I understand. I feel you a hundred percent. And that old God, my friend, sounds to me like that was God. He guided you back to life. That's why, Carl.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

That's why I think it was. Yes, yes. Now I did 90 days in the coma, and another six months on top of that in the hospital. So a total of nine months. Wow. And I was around people, uh, I was feeling good. Out today, I get discharged from the hospital, and I go home to a basement apartment, and I was alone. Talk about depression. It was awful. So I started eating and eating and eating, and before I knew it, I was adding alcohol to it, and now I added cocaine to it. Now I'm 330 pounds sitting in a wheelchair addicted to cocaine. I thought my life was over. But I could not afford my habit. So my braid idea is after just getting shot in the head, I decided to become a drug dealer. So I become this drug dealer. I'm sitting in a wheelchair dealing drugs, supporting my habit. I was a mess. But the police did not find this tour amusing. So immediately it didn't last long. Immediately they kicked in my door, they come storming in, about t ten cops, and my life was so awful. Striker, I looked, I said it's over. I felt relief. I remember the cop look at me as I was in my wheelchair and I was smiling a little bit. And he said, What's wrong? he said, You're a lot of trouble here. You yeah. I said, sir, you just don't understand how bad it is. Right. So they take they arrest me, they take me to jail, but I build out. Now I'm sitting in the parking lot of the police station by Baba, laying 330 pounds in a wheelchair, no money, no drugs, no way to go. I was a lost soul. Broken. My brother-in-law said to me, You gotta start with getting sober. I it's not like I had a lot of options, you know. So I said, okay, and he took me to my first detox. And I went there, and after a few days my head started climbing up, and I started liking it. I was around people, around social workers, I was not alone anymore. I liked it. I knew I wanted to go further by treatment. So I had to apply to a halfway house. From detox, you go to a halfway house, but you have to be accepted. So there I am, I go through this halfway house, I've been interviewed to be accepted by the the the executive director of the halfway house. So I'm sitting in the office and here she comes walking in. I can see there's something wrong, she's a little unbalanced. She sits down and she proceeds to tell me her story. Now she's been sober for twenty years. This was in 1992. She proceeds to tell me how she was in a cocaine induced accident and she almost died. She was in a wheelchair for years. And I can remember looking at her out as an awe, strike in a wheelchair was hell. I couldn't believe this woman got out of that chair. Couldn't believe it. This woman was totally awesome. She's actually the woman who wrote the four words in my book. I'm still very good friends with her. She saved my life. But anyways, I loved her so much and I was scared. I just came from being arrested. I I was nervous and well yeah, this woman was my god. I listened to every word she said, meaning this, that whatever she said it was golden. But just because you get sober does not mean all your all your problems go away. I still have this court case hanging over my head. So I I remember Dad brought me to court. And I said to myself, you know, I have dad by my side. This is my first defense. I'm in a wheelchair. This judge is definitely gonna have weanancy on me. That's what I thought. So I roll up in front of the judge. I remember him looking down at me. He was in his eighties. And he said, Mr. Carter, we are not gonna discriminate in this court. He said, You will get the same sentence any drug dealer gets in my city. And he gave me ten years. Wow. And at the time I was so mad, but that all changed to being very grateful and I'll explain that. But it all changed. But I was so mad. I was saying to myself, I'm going to prison with a state prison with murderers. I'm in a wheelchair, I'm an easy target. Right, right. Deb Deb looked at me, she said, John, a lot of people in your shoes would run. She said, Face your problems. You're not alone. We will help you. So she was my guy. So what do I do? Right after prisoner went. I thought I was this big tough guy. Big listen, when those big metal doors slammed shut and I was in a cell no bigger than your bathroom, and I'm saying ten years of this, I cried like a baby. Like I was lost. Now here is where it gets really, really interesting, and this is where fitness came into my life. The next morning three guys entered my cell and I said, Oh, I'm easy. I'm in trouble here. But remember my father was in that life, so he had friends. These guys said to me they're friends of your dad's and we're here to help you. I was like and we're gonna start by getting rid of that wheelchair. You will not use that wheelchair in this prison. We don't care if we have to carry you. Did you believe? I was skeptical, strike off for months. Every chance they got they took me to the prison gym. I was getting stronger and stronger using that chair less and less, and who would have thought three convicts in prison would have taught me this? Now this is where I knew I wanted continuing fitness. I always felt alone my whole life. Even when I was with people, I felt alone. Now I'm in a small six by six cell, and I felt good. And I couldn't understand why. And this is where I did my investigations and I learned how endorphins get released into your blood by working out. I felt phenomenal. I couldn't believe how good I felt. But this is where when you're in prison you get into a little clickiness, you hang around with certain people that you think are doing well. But recidivism in prison is rapid. And I was naive. I didn't realize this yet. But I didn't see this guy for a long time. And finally I seen him again. I said, you know, wait to go. What happened to you? He said, Oh, I made parole. And I I didn't understand. He said, I said, what do you mean? He said, Well, I made people let me out because I wanted to use drugs and have a dirty yarn. I failed and they put me back in here and he smiled. And I can remember looking right at him, and I wasn't in any position to be talking to anybody. So I looked at him, I said, I said, I said, how could you smile about that? I would be so upset. I'd be under my cart in my cell for a year crying. I said, I went back to my cell and my fellow taught me a lot of lessons. A lot of lessons and they're all in my book. But I remember looking up at him in heaven, praying to him, I'm saying, Dad, please help me here. I need help. I don't want to come back. And I can remember a lesson he taught me fail to plan, plan to fail. I said, My God, I'm making a friggin' plan here. I am not coming back here. So immediately I get on the phone and I call Neb at the halfway house. And she says, I've been waiting for this call. She says, You're not alone. Of course we'll help you. Thank God, because I was thirty two years old, I got in prison with one hundred bucks one hundred and a bus ticket. What would my chances be if I went back to my hometown with a hundred bucks? I'd still be at the bar if I was lucky. I would not be here with you. So thank God I got that bus, I went left, I went back to the halfway house. So Deb can re enter mean society. And I got a job, I was loving it. But this second time at the Halfway House was so much harder than the first time. The first time before prison, I was scared, I had death, I had this court case. Usually was not on my mind, it was getting out of trouble. Now I'm seven years sober, I'm buffed, I'm not at a wheelchair no more. I know it all. Damn says go to three minutes. She don't know what she's talking about anymore. I might do one. Huh? We'll see. She says do not go home without your sponsor or help. You're not allowed to. I said, yeah, whatever. I go right what I do right home. But your friends don't care. Your friends don't care if you're sober, they don't understand what it's like. They pull the drugs out, they're right in front of me, and by the grace of God I did not use. And I went back to that halfway up. And I can remember we had a meeting that night, and it was my turn to talk. I broke down and I cried and I cried and I cried. And that's when Deb said to me, she says, you know, I wouldn't I wouldn't try that again, she said, but this shows that you really do want to stay sober. You know, I I can remember Deb saying everybody in this room, this is about thirty-five of us, everybody in this room that wants to stay sober, raise your hand. Of course, everybody raises a hand. There's now the truth. One of you is gonna make it. And that's the reality of it. That's the odds. It's like one out of thirty-two people.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

You know, uh and was that a NA meeting or AA me in?

SPEAKER_01 16:20

A meeting. Okay. Yeah. That's the way it is. It's it's it's tough. You know.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

You know what it is, John, real quick. I didn't mean to cut you off, but a lot of people don't make it is be because I learned this too, because I I went to NA and AA. When you become sober and then you relapse, you become sober for a while, and then you relapse, your body is not used to it anymore. And then you go back into the hard drugs and everything like that, and then it takes your life, you know, because your body's just not used to it anymore.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

I've had two brothers overdose from drugs and died.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Right. That's what I want to get into right now.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

I want to because let me tell you this. My my oldest brother, I was in prison, and he was sober for five years. Right. And my mom would come up to me and she said, John, you visit me. And she said, John, your brother relapsed and he's not doing well. You need to talk to him. So I got on the phone and I called him and I said, George, you know, I can get you help right now. I can get you into a detox right now. Because I still I had connections with Deb and the whole. It's very difficult to get help. But I could have done it like this. And he said, Well, I have work. He said I got these things to tie up, I got odds and ends. I'll go at the end of the week. That was the last time I ever talked to him. That night I got a phone call saying that the chaplain wants to speak with you. So I knew something was wrong. And that's why I got the phone call. Your brother died, and it was Molly's Day. On Molly's Day.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

So any of you in the audience, don't take take any chances. When I'm not we're not guaranteed tomorrow, take it now. Take it when you got it. You can do this.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Right, right, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

I did it, you can do it. You did it, they can do it.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

Right. Yes, sir. So that, you know, you lost two to addiction and another to heart disease. You know? That's repeated trauma, you know. Talk to me about that. What has it been like carrying that?

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Uh I I I lost my I lost my oldest brother to a heroin overdose. Then four years ago, I lost my youngest brother to a fentanyl overdose. And two weeks ago, I lost my father brother to heart problems.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

I'm so sorry, Doctor.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Thank you. And uh it's very hard. It's very difficult. To think my father had four sons, and the last one breathing is the one who got shot in the head. That that's a sad thing. But you know what? I knew that my story had purpose. Now I really know it needs to be told. Yes. You know, it it really needs to be told. People don't have to go through this shit. You know, and when when when I was getting sober, hearing inspirational true stories of success was what it took for me to get sober. It was awesome. I still listen to that. I love hearing people's experience, strength, and power. I love that. Love that. You know, I I talk about we laughs a lot, and I talk about we laughs a lot in my book. I feel, and this is just my opinion, that we seem to forget where we came from. I watch a lot of people with years and years of sobriety get everything back and lose it real quick. Because one one problem this big. And I was taught by sharing your story, you're never gonna forget. You keep talking about a topic, so it's right up front. I'm not gonna forget how bad it was 30 years ago when I went to detox how I felt. Oh, if you stop talking about it, oh, it wasn't that bad. I might be able to do it again. I didn't have a run in me, and it's all a lie.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

It's all a lie. And not only that, sharing your story could help somebody else out. Uh no.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

You know, uh Amazon w my book on Amazon has 142 five-star reviews. And coming from a man that got his GD in state prison, I'm damn proud of that. I'm damn proud of that. You should be, you should be. And to hear the people, I mean, I read all my reviews, I read them all, I love it. To hear how it's helping them get over it, I mean everybody has problems. Just because your problems might be different to mine, but your problems are real to you. They're your problems. You have to fight and get over them.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

And John, you said something real powerful to me. That they thought they had time, that they could wrap things up before getting help, and they never made it. What do you want people to understand about that mindset? Oh, my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

You know, you always think you have tomorrow. Everybody thinks they have tomorrow, and it ends like that. Boom, it's gone. So we're not guaranteed anything tomorrow. If you want your stuff back, you want your life back, you want your kids back, your life back, your your health back, take control of it. Don't wait till tomorrow, because you might not be guaranteed tomorrow. You might not like what tomorrow brings.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Yeah, do it today. Yes, yes. And somebody watching this right now, you know, and they thinking, I'll get help later, you know. What do you want to say to them directly, directly?

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Well I wanna see them listen, Stryker, any of your audience has any kind of issue or problem, I love you you put out all my information, I love helping people. They can contact me, I'd be more than happy to guide them through any any problem they have. I love that. And just don't quit. Don't never give up, Stryker. Never give up.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Never give up. I like that. Never give up. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Let's stay right here, you know, because this might be the most important part of this whole conversation. There's never a perfect time to get sober. Never. So let me ask you this. What finally made you stop waiting? And why is right now the only time that actually matters?

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Well what what did was me getting arrested. And that was a God sent to me. That was that was God saving me. Because I was a mess. I was totally, totally a mess. And God saved me from that. You know You know, li li life is funny. Life is so funny. We're not guaranteed anything, Stryker. We're not guaranteed a single thing. So you take it by the horn, take that bolt by the horn and take control. You can do it. That's what I say. We Yes. You know, we can do it. And and I I always say that I'm never alone. I walk with a 200-pound Great Dane service dog. I w I run a charity called Mobility Danes of New England. We raise, train, and donate great Danes to Mobility Impaired. And they change lives. So the proceeds of my book are going to help the farm, which is awesome.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

That's awesome. You mentioned earlier about your your mentor, Deb. Walk me through that journey. You you said uh she was told she never drive again after being paralyzed, and she taught herself how to drive a manual Mustang. That kind of story changes how you see the world. That's amazing. What did her example what did her example do for you mentally?

SPEAKER_01 24:17

When she told me that well when I seen that that Mustang in the driveway, and she told me it's a standard, and she couldn't even move her left arm, she everything was her right arm. Right, I'm trying to picture that. And she said to me, she said, the reason why I drive that is because the doctor said I'll never drive again. I said, Oh really, not only will I drive, I'm gonna drive a standard. Mm-hmm. And when she when she showed me that, that just said to me, anything is possible. That's proof. I I was in awe. When I seen her, I simply in awe. I could not believe she got out of that wood wheelchair. She's driving that car, and Striker, she was glowing. Glowing, she was so happy. I I remember I was a broken soul in a wheelchair. And I said, I want this. I want what she has right here, and she wants to give it to me. She's not she wanna hold it, she wants to give it to me and help people. And that's that's what uh she said to me, said one of the reasons why you don't have kids, she said, You're all my kids. She says, I want to give you all what I have. I want you all to live a good life. And she's and she really meant that. You know, she really meant that. When when when I seen what you can do, like I said, it was a power of example. Give me that hope. I said, Wow. And that stuck with me. I knew even when I was in jail and I was away from her, when I thought I couldn't do something, I said, Well Den did it. Why can't I live that way? Den's drive understanding. Who am I who am I say I can't? There's no I can't here. Dad didn't say that. If Dad ever heard me say I can't, she wouldn't lose a spec for me. She always said you can do anything. There's nothing you can do.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

Nothing you can't do, I should say. That that was the proof in the in the pudding right there. And did you ever go back and see the doctors that said you would never walk or talk again?

SPEAKER_01 26:23

I actually the surgery who saved my life. Mm-hmm. The brain surgery, I I've obviously I wouldn't have seen him. I bought a bottle of Dom Pepper. And then he said, you know, what did he say to me? He said, I was only here doing the work. He said, God is doing it through my hands. I didn't do anything special with him. Thank him. I'm only doing my job. Right. Thank him. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

So I gather you said it, that, you know, fitness saved your life. Not once but multiple times. Break that down for us. How did fitness become more than just working out?

SPEAKER_01 26:59

When I was in prison and I seen how good I felt, I knew I wanted it. So when I figured out, I kept I kept looking for a job in the fitness industry, and I kept being denied and denied and denied. But remember, I was with Deb. And she always said, Do not quit. Don't give up. Just keep knocking on doors. It's gonna happen. Kept and I kept getting denied, denied, but that didn't give me the hope. So I I didn't keep discouraged. I was getting frustrated, but not discouraged to stop. My friend said to me, I'm going to work out. Would you want to come and have a little training session? So we went to Boston Sports Club and it was on my list, but I just not went there to apply it. And when you go to an interview, usually dressed up pretty nice, so they couldn't see my vis my physique. And I walk I walk with w I'm with a very strange gait and I slur my words. So they really wouldn't give me the time of day. But now I'm going to work out and I'm in my muscle T, I have a pretty good physique, so my gait and my slur are not so apparent. Right. So I I I spot the manager and I walk to him and he's a big guy, big mushroy. I said, I might well want to go see him. But then I seen how nice he was, smiling and giving people towels, just a very happy guy. I said, you know what, I'm going to see him. And I got the courage up and I went for it. He said I got a few minutes, he says. He said we can sit down in my office and have a little talk. Well that few minutes was an hour and a half conversation about my story. And he says, Can you start? Can you start tomorrow? He says to me. Now I still didn't tell him about the prison. I told him everything else right and tell him about prison yet. I said, Jesus, here we go. But I said, you know what? I'm going for it. I'm gonna be honest and I'm gonna go for it. So I explained to him all about prison. Without bat an eyelash, he looks at me and says, Okay, can you stop tomorrow? He says, he says, did you just hear me say I was a felon? He said, first of all, he said, thank you for being honest. He says, second of all, he says, I just wish my mom could hear you talk. She had passed away a couple years prior to this of alcoholism. And he said to me, if you heard you talk, there might be a chance you'd still be here today. So he gave me the job and I go home and I get a phone call. And he says, John, it's my boss. He says, I'm one guy called in and I I'm an hour away. I can't get there anymore. Can you do it? He says, Of course. I said you know, I don't know what I'm doing here. He gave me the combination. And I I remember looking saying to myself, saying this guy just gave an ex-felon who you don't even know yet, the combination to his hard work business. I said, Oh my goodness. So I go in there and I open up. It's 6 30, people start coming in. When you join Boston Sports Club, you get you get what's called a PFW, a private free workout. And you get that when you sign the gym, you get that with a trainer. So the guy comes walking in and he's looking for the guy I'm replacing. And he says, you know, he has an appointment for a training session. So I said, I can help you. And he starts telling me how he has diabetes and he's overweight and he has uh a disc problem, and I'm trying to have to show how nervous I am. I'm trembling inside. I said, Oh my goodness. I said, uh, we can have a nice little short workout. So I bring him to the floor and I give him a nice little workout. Now it's time for me to sell him on a package. That's my job as a trainer. You when those PFWs come in, you try to turn them into your client. So I hand him a menu and it has all the prices on it. He says, Oh, I'll take one of these 50 packs. It's like it's$4,000. Mm-hmm. I said, uh, I'm panicking inside. I had a$4,000 my fur my first hour on the job. Now I see my manager come in and I run to him, I said, David. I said, this guy wants to buy one of these 50 packs. He says, follow me. He takes me in the room. He closes the deal like a magician. Unbelievable. Now the guy who bought that package is still my client today. This is back in this is back in 2000. That's in one. He's still my client. I trained him, his wife, his daughter, and the son. Okay? Now David turns to me, says, We've had that pack here in Boston for about six months now. He says, You're the first person to sell one. Congratulations. Look at that. You were nasty. How's that f how's that for your first day? Right, right? It took that's how it took off. And it wasn't long after that that Manju left left Boston Split Club to open his own gym, a smaller private gym. And it wasn't long after that I got the wrong phone call to come join him. So I come down at a small little gym now. See if Boston Switch Club, you had all the marketing and all that done for you. All you have to do is show up. Here, you had to do everything. And this is when my manager decided that he wanted more clients, more trainers. And I had a small clientele, but they love being a private. My gym is completely private. They love being a private. They can talk, they can train, they love it. So I was in a predicament. I could either stop or buy my partner out. So I bought him out and thank goodness. Cause that was bad. That was 13 years ago. You know, the office was my was my bedroom because I could not afford two rents. I lived in my gym and I built it up and thank goodness, because it's awesome. I love my gym. I love being able to talk with people. Talk like I'm talking now, so I talk with them. Right, right. You know, because we all have they love being able to hear my problem and hear their problems. How are we gonna get over our problem? And how do we stay upbeat? You know, my client said to me the other day, he said, How can you be so happy with all that God's taken from you? And I thought about it. And I said, God has given me so much more than what he has taken from me. So much more. My life is awesome. It's challenging. I had troubles and everything, all things, but I don't have trouble with being grateful. No troubles here. You know, I talk about gratefulness. Remember I talked to the the judge who gave me ten years? And I said at that time I was very upset, but in prison when I seen the recidivism and all that happening, I said, you know, he did me a favor. Instead of giving me a small slap on the wrist so I didn't learn my lesson and keep coming back and back, he taught me a lesson. I actually wrote the judge a letter from prison and he actually wrote me back. I couldn't believe it. A judge wrote me back, I couldn't believe it. And he was like, I knew you can do it. He gave me all the confidence. Now, that was the confidence, but on the way out of prison with a hundred bucks and a bus ticket, the guy says, See you soon. I says, What do you mean? He says, Oh, I said, I'm not coming. She says, that's what they all say. Yep. You'll be back.

SPEAKER_00 34:53

Yep. I think they tell it, they say that to everybody that gets released from prison. See you soon. See you soon.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Imagine that see you soon. Right.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

That might give a guy a little encouragement. Maybe I will critic. Yeah, so would you tell uh would you say your experiences with these other gyms being employed by these other gyms was your motivation for, you know, building your own gym, building titanium health and fitness and making the gym accessible for everybody? Yes indeed.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

But I'll tell you the people who taught me this was the people in prison. Those three convicts in prison taught me this. Taught me that fitness is the way. And they they explained to me how fitness will help your mind. They you know they were doing they were doing multiple decades in there. They said, working up for us eases our minds. It makes everything go a little smoother. And I found out real quick. And I want to keep that. I want to keep that. And on top of helping me, I get to help other people. So it's a two-way street. I've been helped all the time. My clients have no idea how much they're helping me. Oh, that's helping me. They have no idea. I I always think I I always hear people say, Oh, I gotta go to work. I love going to work. I love seeing my client at six in the morning and having a park and a training station. Love that. Never say I'm gonna go to work. You know, I'm a single father. I have a 21-year-old son that I train every day. I love spending time with my son. Love that. Love living with him. Love that. And that's a sobri that's a sobriety gave me the chance to be present, to be there for my son. You know, my fa my father was always there for me and I I learned a lot from him. But I don't show my son any bad ways. I didn't see the bad things to my father. I just seen him hanging on with people. So this is my and my entrepreneur started when I was a young kid. I see what my father did. He hung all guys, his crew. So I put my own crew together. I was eleven years old. All they all neighbors were my my crew. We had every yard and my neighbor. We shoveled every driveway. We had every yard. We owned my territory. I didn't know my father was doing anything illegal at this time. I just said, well, he got his friend. So I tried being like him. I I sub it was a legal thing for me.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

That was a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Eventually I learned.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

Go ahead, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

Sorry, I didn't mean to touch you off. Go ahead. Eventually I learned that it wasn't all peaches and cream. He was doing legal illegal activities. Right. That's where my wrote changed and the shovel and drugways became doing other illegal solid fireworks. Anything to make money.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Hustling. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't sobriety give you so much clarity? Like your mind is clear and you just want to do everything. You know, you just like now you know your path, what you're supposed to do.

SPEAKER_01 38:02

And Shrek, that's why I gotta come in this. Yeah, your platform is giving people like me a chance to talk. Yeah, I might be helping your your clientele, your viewers, but I know you're helping me. I know I'm not going to I don't know what Tane's gonna bring, but I know I'm not going next door to the bar to sit down and have a drink. Right. I know that's not happening. Right. My story's right up front. Right. I love that. Like Friday night, I went back to the halfway house. I remember I usually go to my halfway house where where I came from. I go on commitments to detox this, and I always bring my books and I can pass them out to people and I I you know read this book. I was sitting right where you are, but I was 330 pounds in a wheelchair, okay? So you can do you might not feel peachy and like but it does get better. Just don't drink. You're not alone. Yes. Get the help. The help is here to offer people love helping. And my book you'll see all the people that enter my life to help me. From Deb to the guys in prison to the judge to the cops who arrested me to my bloodlords and detox. There's just so many people that help me. My dogs, my my dog is, oh my god, my dog Ted, which is my best friend.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

He's talking to Poggi's. Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

Yeah, that is hilarious. I just, right before my dog is in there whining right now, right? Right before I got on with you, I had to put him in his cage. He's he's just so attached to me. It's it's crazy. Isn't that awesome? Yeah, yeah. That is awesome. Yeah, yeah. And another thing I love that you stand on is that no one beats addiction alone. And that goes, you know, against what a lot of people believe. You know, some people believe they they could just stop and just, you know. So let's talk about that. Why is why is answer for help so hard?

SPEAKER_01 40:11

For me, asking for help was very difficult. No, it's not so much, but it was was very difficult. Because you, you know, I had to humble myself and ask for help. And that's what Deb taught me. He said, ask for help, you're not alone. And I'll tell you, it's unbelievable. People just want to help you. Especially in sobriety, people just want to give back. Because that's how we stay sober, striker. By me giving back to the next guy is gonna help me. It's a two-way street. It's awesome. So trust me, if you want to get sober, just raise your hand. Raise your hand. Humble yourself, suck in your fried, and raise your hand. Ask for help. You have to suck in your fried because a lot of people don't want to ask for help because they don't want to suck in the fried. They got this, they can do it on their own. We don't have to do well. This is a life life-taking disease. To not try doing this on your own. It's a matter of life and death. We're not playing checkers here. This is a matter of life and death. Especially what's out there now. I remember my mother thought he was taking a Xanax. You know what I'm saying? He thought he was taking a Xanax and he's dead.

SPEAKER_00 41:37

Yeah. Dead? Yeah. I don't understand it at all. Like, you know, from a dealer's standpoint, why would you want to kill your customers? It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

I I I I don't know how that happened. I I sort of understand that. Yeah, it's yes. I don't understand how someone can intentionally intake. Right. Right. You know, so w w what I was using, I never really had to worry about that because uh I didn't even heard of fentanyl when I was using.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Right.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

I was over in 1992. Cocaine and those things were the big things. Fentanyl I didn't even heard of. So I was even before oxies and all that. So I never really got into that. Those drugs, it was cocaine and alcohol for me. But you know.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

Right. Right. Alcohol is dangerous. I didn't really know how al how how dangerous alcohol was. Alcohol is really dangerous. That and uh benzos are the two worst things uh you could detox from that you could die from, is what I learned.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

Yeah. So alcohol, it's just the pressure killer. When you're feeling bad and you can have a couple drinks, you know. It might not but your pumps don't go away. You might forget about them for an hour or two, but it just gotta be right there. Worse and worse.

SPEAKER_00 42:56

Soon as you wake up, you know.

SPEAKER_01 42:57

Soon as you and then you it's just a a living hell. My eye was so broken. When I was in that wheelchair when I got out of jail before I went to before I went to detox, I never felt so broken and alone. Like I just wanted to go. I just I felt helpless. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:20

So let's talk about your book real quick, John. I love the name, the title, Triggered to Change. Your book, like, the title says everything. What was your trigger, the real one? Was it the shooting or something?

SPEAKER_01 43:35

The judgic was the actual one that got the ball in my head.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

Right, right, right, right. I get that. You know, because be people think change is gradual, but sometimes it's one moment, you know, one realization, one breaking point. So that that was it right there for me, boy. Right. That was your breaking point.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

Right. That that that that was the first breaking point. That's what That's when but the second breaking point was when the cops kicked in my door and arrested me and I felt relief. I wasn't upset. I'm in trouble. I felt relief. I was happy this happened. They couldn't understand it. They just couldn't understand th that was a good thing for me.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

Right. For me. Right. Right. Sometimes, you know, you gotta hit rock bottom, be beneath the bottom, to to, you know, really change. At least I know I.

SPEAKER_01 44:29

Yeah, but you can get you can get off the elevator and any floor strike. You don't have to go all the way to the bottom. You can get off any time. You don't have to wait until you get shot in the head. Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

You can get off before that. Right, exactly. So right now, John, someone is watching this, you know, and they feel stuck, guaranteed, ashamed, broken, like it's too late. What do you want to say to them?

SPEAKER_01 44:54

First of all, it's never too late. If you just look at me, I look at other people that are worse off shaped than me, and I say, how the hell can I cry about what I'm going through? So if I can do it, you can do it. And I'll t I'll tell you right now, it's a mindset. Put your mind to it. Don't quit. Don't give up. Don't quit. You can do this. You know, I had like I had two little girls. When I got sober, I my two little girls. And I'm not saying that's the total reason why I got sober, but that was a big, big aspect in my mind was to be there for them. Now I have my twenty one-year-old son, and he's never seen me drink and never seen me drug, and I'm always there from. He don't have to question if I'm a sure, but I'll be there. He knows I got his back. He knows if he has any kind of problem, that he has an open dialogue with me. Talk it with me, I'll help you. You're not alone. You can ask your father for any kind of help. I'll never turn my back on you. And he he he believes that. And he knows that. He lives that.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

And I know he's very, very proud to have a dad like you, you know. That's that's awesome. So, John, final question. This platform is built on one truth. We're all recovering right here on my shirt. Yeah, buddy. So I want to ask you this. What are you still recovering from today? What am I still recovering from today is grief.

SPEAKER_01 46:26

Right now I'm recovering from grief. It definitely plays it definitely plays things with your mind. So I do things wrong, I I'm feeling sorry, you know, and and and that's how I'm fighting that, but I know that I'm not alone, that I can call Deb, I can call my other friends, and talk I have my clients I can talk with. I don't have to hide anything to them. Like I'm gonna tell you this one real quick story. When I opened my gym, I couldn't tell people the whole story was in the you know, I was in jail, I was shot in the head, uh big run. I want them to send my g join my gym, and if I told them that they would they would leave. So I came up with the story, but I didn't want to lie. Uh I told them I was shot in the head in a hunting accident. And it wasn't really a lie because I was shot in the head. I just left out the pot that A was the one being hunted by the guy. So I left it out. But eventually you start trusting your clients. Like I see my clients three or four times a week, you know, for months and months and months. So you you build a little poll with them. And you start divulging a little bit about your story. Before my story said, now it's out, so they all know. But years ago, I had this this is how my TikTok came in. Because I would tell my client little bits of my story over time, and finally she said, Oh my god, she said, I thought you were just in a car accident. She said, I had no idea. You have to do a TED Talk. And now I had no idea, and she brought me brought me to the meeting, and I left the meeting, and I I looked and I said, What the hell did you get me involved with here? I can't do this. She said You are not alone. I'll help you. Don't say you can't do this. And, you know, I remember doing my TED Talk and I got a standing ovation for my first time speaking, and that's what led me to write triggered to change because I knew I needed to tell my story more. Right. So I I came out with my book, and you know.

SPEAKER_00 48:46

Right. You need a, you know, I'll add to that, you know, people need a good support network. It sounds like you have a great support network. You know, right? So you need that to actually, you know, I I know for me, I needed that to help me with, you know, keep going, keep pushing, you know, somebody to call and, you know, to stay sober, you know. I just needed someone I could just reach out to when I was feeling like, you know, that urge or, you know, so a good support network is always good. So John, brother, I appreciate you. Not just for your story, but your for your honesty from a gunshot to the head to addiction to prison or purpose to being the last one standing and still choosing to help others. Thank you, brother. That's war. And to everybody watching, yes, sir, and to everybody watching, stop waiting. There's no perfect time. There's only right now. This is war. We'll all be covering each one reach one. Talk to y'all later. Peace.

SPEAKER_01 50:00

Once the war began, three thousand one hundred and ninety two blood and killed, more than twenty four thousand wounded.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

At least fifty thousand Iraqi civilians have died.