21: Do You Know Your Zone of Genius?

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What if the thing holding you back is what you're really good at?

In this episode, Kayla explores the hidden trap of excellence, the power of choice, and how creating space for what only you can do may be the key to your next level of leadership.

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Feel Worthy Podcast Links: https://linktr.ee/feelworthypodcast

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Follow Kayla Worthy 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/worthyeventscoach/ 
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaylaworthy/ 

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Link To Book: What Should Danny Do? By Adir & Ganit Levy

Link To Book: The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hi, friends. Welcome back to the Feelworthy Podcast. This is your host, Kayla Worthy. I am a CMP. I am a friend, a mom, a wife, a global event coach. I also work in corporate events. I love sports. The NBA finals are about to start, and I am so excited, or they may have already started by the time this podcast goes live. So if you're watching, tell me who you're voting for. There's only one right answer. Actually, there's really, they're both good choices, but there's really only one right answer as a New Yorker. It's been a long time coming. It's been a long time coming. Okay. This whole like Taylor Swift song jumped into my head. So it has been a while. I am so excited to be here. There, I have to share some news. It's nothing crazy. But I won a free week of yoga at Yoga 6 at a local studio. I am so excited because I just put my name. My son and I went to go get gelato at a local place, and they had those cards where you go like enter your name into the raffle and see who wins. I was like, no one's looking at this. They're never gonna select my name. Or maybe they will because no one's looking at this and they're not a lot of entries. So we'll see what happens. Either way, I'm uh I gotta be in it to win it, gal. So I will always do a giveaway, a contest, because you never know. But I got a text today. I feel like, and LaVilain has also started, so I'm like, I gotta text, I gotta text, and it says I want a free week. Oh, free week. I am so excited. I've never done yoga six, so I'll let you know how it goes. And it's funny or ironic or both or cosmic. Either way, my theme for the month as I was preparing for the month of June was all about health and health in all categories. So, like a healthy bank account, a healthy like mind, body, and spirit. So I've been meditating and really focusing on that more. Um, health when it comes to my relationships and making sure that I'm nourishing my friendships and this podcast and the strategic event leader cohort that started and just started a couple weeks ago this summer. So just really overall health. And then the yoga six text came through and I felt kismet, it felt lying. Um that that came up, I don't know. Because I forgot I even submitted into the giveaway. It was a few, it was a few weeks ago. It was probably like last month sometime. Anyway, I have dived into a whole different rant. Um, the whole point of this podcast, and I think we should probably probably start there. If this is your first time listening, this is a podcast for event professionals who are trying to figure out how to navigate putting life first. So often we put the event first, right? We're thinking about all that the event needs. And I really want to take the angle for event pros about how do you put yourself first? How do you fill your cup up so that you can fill up everyone else's and lead with confidence and build a career that feels just as good to you as you've always dreamed of and on paper as it feels in real life? We talk so much about burnout and stress and how executives don't understand the things that we go through. But we sometimes need to take a beat and figure out like what are we going through? What is the actual situation and be the leaders that zoom out a bit more instead of staying in the weeds? So this is a space, a place that you can listen to leadership topics, figure out how to incorporate it into your own day-to-day, and just really start to sit with what leader, what type of leader do I want to become? Who do I want to be in this crazy life and make it a bit more fun, make it a bit more joyous. And it doesn't mean we need to quit the event industry to do that. We can just find some space within it to become the person, the leader, the friend, the colleague that we really want to be. So before we jump in further, uh, if you've been enjoying the show, if you've been here for a while, I would love if you take a moment to rate the podcast, review it, put a note in Spotify or YouTube. It's funny because on Instagram, I took I did a poll recently, and majority of people said that they use Spotify, which I use and I love. But then on the analytics that I see on the back end of the podcast, majority of users are using Apple Podcasts. So I don't know. The jury's out about which platform is better or which how many people are using which one. It seems like there's just an imbalance based on maybe the Spotify followers are on Instagram and Apple Podcasts are just like listening to podcasts and they're true podcast enthusiasts. I don't know. But whatever platform you choose, please take a moment to rate and review. I would love that more event professionals are joining our community and discovering these conversations. So let's get into this topic. As it's summer and I love summer, I feel like I come alive, although I love the fall too. I love all the seasons, but particularly summer and fall. And this summer I've actually been getting into reading more, and I love reading, but during busy seasons and just life as it's been, I've been reading less. I remember like filling my book log as a kid, and with my son, we read every night and we read multiple books a night, which is great. There's also a reading log he has, and we've read over 700 books, we're close to 800, and I think by the time this podcast comes out, we'll be well over 800 books for the year. So excited. But this also means that I've been reading almost 800 books. So my reading has happened, but in shorter youth age books, like the board books, or not, we're not there at chapter books yet. He's only about to enter kindergarten. But I've been reading a lot, okay? Just contracts and all sorts of other things, just not books for myself. And I despite the library, you say behind you. So I've been getting into reading more. I'm super excited about that. It's actually been filling my cup and giving me a new sense of hobby and new thing to do, other than work and podcasts, and coach and um be a mom and friend. So it's been exciting for me. All of that being said, is I've mentioned the Start With Yourself book by Emma Greed that I've read, and then I've mentioned it a couple times. We're gonna enter two new, two new bombshells have entered the chat. So for today's episode, I it was inspired because I've been reading two new books, and the first one is called The Big Leap. It's by Gay Hendricks. So it's all about conquer your hidden fear and take life to the next level. It was interesting to me. There's a topic in here that I'll dive deeper on in the podcast episode about why I read this. And if you're on Audible, which I'm new to Audible, I didn't think I could be an audio learner. I'm very kinesthetic. I like both visual, um, I like to touch and really be hands-on. So I really didn't think audible was for me. However, I have been enjoying it on my walks and in the car rides that I've been taking because they've been a little bit longer these days. And then if I go on the plane, it's good to listen to. So I've been really enjoying it. So if you're an audible person, let me know. Tell me what else I should listen to on there. Some narrators, not good. But he's been great. Um, Emma greed it was her voice, it was great, so highly recommend. And then the second book, as I said, I've been reading a lot of kids' books, but this one is really what became the catalyst for this episode or like changed the way I was thinking about this episode. It's called What Should Danny Do? None of these books are sponsoring this podcast, by the way. I'm just sharing what I like and what I've literally been doing recently. But what should Danny Do? So hear me out. This book is all about choose your own adventure, but in the sense that Danny is faced with different situations throughout the day. Every choice he makes leads to a different outcome. So we go to that page in the book and then read what happens next. And then I'm talking to my son. I say, okay, so this is the point. Danny can choose to do A or B. What do you think he should choose? And he thinks about it, and I was like, nope, whatever you want. You can choose A or B, totally whatever you want. And sometimes he chooses what he thinks the answer should be. Sometimes we have a little fun with it, we choose the opposite answer. So very much I'll choose your choose your own adventure. Can't say that right now for some reason. Um, but very much I'll choose your own adventure, and it made me realize something that the story isn't actually about Danny, and it he talks about a hint at it, but then it just the light bulb came went on, and it's about choice, it's about the power to pause, to recognize that another option actually exists and choose something different. So I thought it was really timely, and I know summer's supposed to be fun and light and breezy, which is why I'm bringing up fun things, but I think this happens no matter what time of day, what time of year, and you could be in the thick of it. There are other planners that are just having an easy breezy summer. So I think it's relevant no matter where you are. But the power of choice is something that I think we forget about. With event professionals, I think we need the reminder the most. So many of us are operating on autopilot. We're doing so many things because it's the way we've always done them. Change is hard. And I'm not even starting to talk or broach the subject of AI. It's just that there are events that happen year after year or they happen quickly and they all of a sudden need support. So then you just run into them and charge straightforward that you forget to stop to think about wait, what is the actual best use of my time? How should this actually be planned? I know I want to help, I know I want to dive into the fire and save it. But what actually needs to happen? Where do I actually need to be part of this? And sometimes this autopilot is just the nature of default. We're carrying things because like we've always carried them, and not because it's the best use of our time, not because it not even because it aligns with where we want to go. Simply it's because it's our default. So think about your past week and not your ideal week or like a busy event week, just your past week. What actually filled your calendar? Did you choose what filled it, or did someone else choose? What task took most of your time? What actually drained you? What lit you up and energized you? What fires did you put out? Did you choose these things? Did you make sure that your calendar was planned ahead of time, or did they just simply happen to you? Do you even remember what you did last week? Let's start there. Do you remember what happened? Or is it all a blur? And that happens, right? Life gets crazy. Uh, there's just so much that's taking our attention, it's hard to remember. But the biggest component is did you plan your week or did the week plan you? Something to think about. So, as I've been reading the more adult book, The Big Leap or Listening to It, I wanted to share with you the four concepts that stood out to me. So the main one that he talks about is a zone of genius, but there are four zones that build out this framework. So the zone of incompetence is this area where tasks are being done that you probably shouldn't be doing. They actually drain you. They are tasks that take a lot of effort for you to get done. And you can look at other person and say, oh my God, they're amazing at that. And you look at yourself when you do them and you're like, this is painful. I don't want to do this. I had a client who hated doing the budget, and it was always a part of everyone's job. So that's what they did. He said, Okay, I'll do the budget, but it doesn't feel like it's my job. Like I feel like I suck at it. I am not an accountant. But I look at the other guy across from me and he loves budget. He has spreadsheets on spreadsheets on spreadsheets. He is into it and it he comes alive when he speaks about it. That is not the way I feel. Or that isn't the, and when I say I, I'm talking about the client, he was like, This is not at all what I want to be doing. So that is an area where I would say that's a zone of incompetence. These are the tasks that are probably at the very bottom of your list that won't get down until the end of the week or ever, maybe. And you're just kindly hoping that they fall off. Next is the zone of competence. So the zone of competence is the things you can do, but maybe others can do them too, and probably just as well. So schedule a meeting, you can fill out the spreadsheet, maybe take notes during the meeting, or and I don't know why I keep going back to meeting, but perhaps it's like setting up the registration website. Maybe it's something that someone else can do just as easily. So I would say these are the two areas that we definitely get stuck in often because they're things that we can do, but and they just feel like they keep getting added to our list. But just think about are these the things that I really should be doing? Is anything coming up for you in those two areas? Feel free to jot them down. I know if you're driving, it's impossible to do that. But if you can pause, think about things that fall in your zone of incompetence and then also the zone of competence. So again, the incompetence zone is where things that shouldn't you task that other people do way better than you, or they drain you, they take a lot of effort just to do them average. The zone of competence are things that you can do, but people can do just as well. So pause it and take a listen to see and or pause it if you're driving and think about this, or pause it if you're standing still, write some notes down in the notes up of your phone. So next we go into the zone of excellence. And this is the things you're exceptionally good at. People recognize you for them. They're like, oh, she's amazing at events. I should get her to do all of the events, including our internal dinner, our team outings, our major conferences, our brand activations, all of it. She can do it. And you're like, oh, okay, I could, I could do it. Absolutely. It's what I build my career on. I can do events. I may not like to do internal events, and I much rather do customer-facing events, but sure, I can absolutely do events. But that's the biggest danger zone for event professionals because while the zone of incompetence and competence are things that get added to our to-do list, the zone of excellence is where people feel like they can trust us, they rely on us, they come to us to solve our problems. They say, Hey, Lisa, you're incredible at putting out this fire. I have this emergency. How do I get this vendor paid? Or, hey, this contract, I have no idea where to begin. Can you read it and get Lego to review it and then sign it and then just handle that while I do all these other things? And you're like, Yeah, sure, I've done it before. And then all of a sudden you're like, wait, I keep getting things done. I am rewarded for it, but then I stay here. I don't know how to get promoted. I don't know how to level up. I don't even know if I like events anymore. But people keep coming to me because I'm great. That is where the zone of excellence is a detriment to our careers because we stay there. We just keep going. And again, for the person who likes all of that and wants to stay there, by all means go for it. But if you are listening to this podcast and have ever listened to any of the other ones, you may be wanting a little more. And it may not be a big promotion, but it may be just getting further into the type of leader that you really want to be, doing the things that you want to be doing that really light you up and energize you. And that is where the zone of genius comes in. That is the work that feels light, it feels natural to you. It's you could do it without getting paid. You should definitely get paid for it. But you can do it without getting all of the accolades in the world, and you're just enthusiastic every day and got to wake up and do what you love, which is that place where I think so many of us want to be, and thought of it as the dream. Like, how do I just get to that place where I like my strengths, my skills, my impact, the fulfillment all lines up? And then there's people that are like, I'm just gonna be doing a job because I have to get paid and that's all I can do. But if you've ever dreamt of wanting to be in a place where you're fulfilled by what you do, it's possible. So as I've been reading this book, I found myself asking everyone else around me, what am I holding on to because I'm the best person to do it? And am I really the best person to do it? Or am I holding on to it because I'm afraid to let go? Maybe I've tied my identity so much to this certain concept that I haven't taken a second to see if that really aligns with who I am anymore. I looked at actually personal note, I looked at my goals and um a template I created when I first started at a job. And in looking at it, I saw at this bottom were my like short-term and long-term goals. And mind you, this was years and years ago. So as I was updating it, updating it for where I am today, I stopped to think, I don't know if these are my goals. Or I think the short term and the long term has passed at this point. I have other goals and ambitions, and I haven't written them down anywhere or shared them with anyone. So it dawned on me that maybe you haven't either. Maybe you've kept the dream the same and haven't thought of how it could be different and really what lights you up and what lights you up. And I feel like the notebook where he's like, What do you want? And she's like, I don't know what I want. And he's like, What do you want? Like, that's my moment right now, and that's the moment I've been having with myself and other people of like, what do you want? Are you holding on to this idea because you're like, I thought I could do this job and that's what I wanted, but then it's okay if the dream changes. That's the whole point of why I'm intertwining the what what should Danny choose or what should Danny do, book? Because you have the power to choose. It's your life. And we get bogged down by what other people expect and what we think the narrative should be, but forget the shoulds. What do you want it to be? What do you think it should be? I would love if you pause this and thought about this question. What are you currently doing that you're amazing at, but might not actually need to own anymore? Maybe it's a title, maybe it's a job description, maybe it's a certain responsibility that you've always done. Maybe it's something new that you took on, and now you're like, I might want to abandon this. But whatever it is for you, think about it. What are you currently doing that you're amazing at, or just at least good at, but might not actually need to own anymore. So I'll give you a few examples as you're noodling. Because if you're driving, I know it's hard to pause and think and you're like trying to navigate the road. So I'll keep going. A few examples that come to mind is maybe you're incredible at registration management, you know, every report, you know, every attendee, you know how to format everything and give it to executives to know show exactly who's coming to the event. But should you still be spending the hours inside of registration? Or maybe you're better suited to be leading stakeholder conversations or being able to level up and go into a place where you're looking at all of the event technology and really optimizing it and not just staying in registration anymore. Okay, another idea. Maybe you're really good at speaker communication and speaker management. You love it. The speakers love you. You're like their pals, you've gotten to meet so many celebrities. But should you be sending every email? Do you need to walk them to the stage every time they arrive on site? Or maybe you're actually really excited about the attendee experience and the keynote speaker is just a part of that. But you really actually want to see and design how the entire experience starts from the beginning where they just are registering to the end when they're leaving the event and they maybe have a goodie bag. Like, what is that full overall event experience? And maybe that's where you really want to be in, but you're focused on an area that you've loved for so long, which is speaker management, but maybe it's not that today. Okay, another concept for event professionals. This one will probably cut you a little deep because I've heard so many people talk about this. This idea of being the party of one or the team of one. And now you're managing housing, registration, the budget, project owner, marketing manager, you're writing the comms, you're creating the mobile app. And everyone's like, that's what you're supposed to be doing, right? That's what an event professional does. They juggle, they do all of these different tasks, and you've loved it, right? You like the to-do, the you like the to-do list, you like checking it off, and you're capable, and no one questions it because they don't really know what you do, and they're just like, she just does it, and that's incredible. And just want her to keep doing it because nothing falls through the cracks. But just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. I'll say it again. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. You are one person, and 40 hours a week is enough. There are weeks and days, and I get it, I've been there where it's 50, 60, 80 hours a week. But when do you have a life? It shouldn't be year-round. That is your cadence. There are other people and other teams, and now I will say AI and chatbots and all of these things that can help you, and whether it's a real person or a fictional one. So are you really finding your zone of genius, or are you just Excited about being a jack of all trades, which is again, if that is where you want to be, that is completely fine. But if you're still listening to this podcast, then I take it that you don't want to do that. All right. If you're driving, I don't think you can focus on this, but you can think about it in your head, or come back to this podcast in this part of the episode and then be able to start writing things down. But I want you to write, get a journal, get a notebook, and start outlining a couple things. So here's the prompt, and here's what I want you to do as an exercise. Draw up a column that says like everything I do. Just bring them everything: emails, meetings, budget record budget reports, recaps, registration lists, the presentations, reporting, contracts, render calls, just everything. Just jot it all down. Go, go, go. And then you're gonna put that in one part of the page. Once you've exhausted everything, then I want you to circle things that only you can do. And only you can do. And be honest. I can only be the one that sets the vision, or I am the only one that can understand these registration reports. Or and then this is the part where you need to really be honest, like go layer deeper. What can someone else do? Is this the report that you don't want to look at? Is it opening the PO? Is it the contracts? Is it working with speakers? What does not require you to be there to do it? And you don't have to solve it. What can someone else do? What can someone else do? And then if you've only highlighted one or two things, look at it again. Look at it again, and then really dig deep. What can someone else do? Truly, it doesn't need your hands on it. Maybe you need to explain it to them, but you don't have to physically do it. And then I want you to think, what would happen if I stopped doing those tomorrow? Would the event fail? Or would someone else learn and grow? Would I get some hours back in my schedule so I can focus on the things that only I can do? What would happen? And be honest, what would happen? Would the entire event fall apart? Would the vendors stop talking to you? But what would happen? And if it's not you and it needs to happen, and you're like, okay, I'm stressed about this because it does need to happen, then who else can do it? Can you find someone, articulate to someone else? Like, how can someone else help and support this? But I don't want you to take it all onto yourself because you think it's just me and I have to do it. Why do you have to do it? Ask yourself, why do I have to do this? What would happen if someone else did it? And if your answer to that is, oh, it wouldn't get done as well, or it wouldn't be right, okay. Well, would it still get done? I just want to sit with that. Would it get done? Would it at least be done and complete, and then you can move on to something else? So it doesn't have to all be on you. Danny in this book, he's pausing and he's thinking about wait, I can either choose to eat the pancakes on my plate, or I can yell and scream and hope that I get my brother's plate because I like that plate much better, which is actually a prompt from the book. And we chose he can eat the food that's on his plate and just enjoy the pancakes, and he loved them in the next book. Sorry to spoil it, but it's a choice. Some of these things are a choice, so it's a choice, and it doesn't mean that the choice is easy, but every choice you make creates a different future for you. Strategic leaders don't magically have more time. There's no fairy wand that says, boom, you get more time. They make different choices, they choose to delegate, they choose to say no, and they choose to hold the boundary and acknowledge it so that it is consistent. You can choose to stop being perfect and just do the right things, do the needle-moving activities that have visibility to them that help grow the business, the event, the leadership that you want to have. You can choose to create thinking time and white space and build that into your calendar and actually build your calendar in your week so that your week isn't running you, but that you are running your week and you know how you're spending your time. One of the biggest things I hear from people is I don't have time. Sometimes you just have to do it and go fast and move on. I don't have time to think strategically. But the truth is you're not making the time. Strategy often requires white space. Getting to that next level requires that you zoom out and that you take the space to look at everything. Cast the vision for yourself if other people are not casting it for you. When you are getting into a new level of leadership, it requires choices. And those choices look like making white space in your calendar and letting go of things. There's this story I've heard about Michelangelo and Statue of David. And he talks about stripping everything away that wasn't David. So it means it basically is a metaphor for simplifying and really getting to the root of the project, the root of what's going on, really simplifying your days, your life, your focus, your zone of genius so that you are doing the right things in the right time that will actually drive life, the business, the event forward, that you will get filled up, that your purpose, your strengths, your impact, your skill set all collide. But it doesn't happen by doing more. It happens by stripping away everything that isn't that. So I've been asking everyone, what do you think your zona genius is? And people are like, What is that? What is my zona genius? What are you talking about? And it's like okay, here's the book, read it, listen. And we go through the same conversation we just had for the past several minutes. And then if they do know, they struggle to answer, and they're like, I don't, I don't know what that means yet. But so I'm like, okay, it's a deep question. We'll come back to it later in the week or another week. And it's okay if the answer changes because life changes, we evolve, we move forward, we have different things that happen to us and adapt how we think about the world, what we like to do, what really lights us. But when I ask people, what gives you energy? What lights you up? What could you be doing all the time and get paid for it and you love it, or not get paid for it and love it? What do people come to you for? What could you talk about for hours? What makes you feel like, ah, I'm in the zone, I'm hitting a stride and I'm, I am killing, and whatever this task is, this activity is. When you start to ask it that way, people start to light up and they start to smile and they start to think about it and they start to dream again. You start to feel that little kid in them that was like, ah, I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a dinosaur into whatever the dream was at the time. But I encourage you to ask your friends, ask your colleagues, send this to a coworker and see what they come up with. Because maybe you're kind of genius leadership. Maybe it's really working with people and bringing teams together. Maybe it's facilitating a discussion, or you're the person that can sing and has been nervous about singing and having a career in it because you're like, that is only for the Britney Spears of the world. And, you know, and then we see how that goes. But it could be for you too. Maybe it's you're a small business coach or you are an entrepreneur of some kind. Um, maybe you're a marketing genius, but you started doing like finance and you want to get back to marketing, and that's okay. Or you're really good at sales, but you started doing marketing and you're like, oh no, wait, I really like sales. And I love to have these pieces come together. All of that is okay. And I want that for you. There is no one right answer. But it doesn't come if you don't think about it. So I encourage you, I challenge you this week to spend some time thinking about what that could be for you. I think one of the biggest myths in our industry is that success comes from caring more and doing absolutely everything from the registration to the mobile app to the vision planning to the KPIs to the recap reports to ordering the menus and filling out the contracts and being able to negotiate all of the agreements, also being able to manage every meeting perfectly, write a general session content and have that sing and also have the choir come out and the confetti pop out and make sure the bill is paid. It's too much. But success isn't doing it all. It's just choosing more intentionally. That's how we get to have a more fulfilling life. That's how we get to feel worthy every day. So I want to leave you with a couple questions to just think about, in addition to all of the other things about zone of incompetence, competence, genius, excellence, and everything in between. So, what am I simply doing because I've always done it? What am I holding on to that someone else could do? Where am I confusing excellence with genius? If I had just one hour every week, where would I spend it? What choice is available to me that I haven't considered yet? And I like those last two a lot more, so I'll say them again. If I had one hour every week, just one hour, where would I spend it? And what choice is available to me that I haven't considered yet? Your leadership isn't determined by everything you're capable of doing. It is determined by what you're willing to stop doing and also start doing. Because every time you choose to let go of something that no longer requires you, you create space for something that does. There's a quote I've heard that says, When your hands are full, you can't receive. So what do you need to let go of so you can receive a bit more into your life, into your space? So think about that. I know I've left you with lots of things, action items to do, lots of things to consider, new books to read. I hope you found this powerful. I hope it resonated with you. I would love if you would text or leave me a voicemail about what you think your zone of genius is. I dare you. I triple dog dare you. Send this to a friend, send this to a colleague, you guys have a chat about it, but also then send me a voicemail or a text message about what your zone of genius is. I'd love to hear about it. I'd love to talk more about it. I also realize that podcasts are for people that are good at talking to themselves, which my friends, my colleagues will tell you that I do that when I'm thinking about a lot of things. Hear that um talking to yourself is a form of genius. Yeah, I'm fine. We'll fact check me on that. Anyway, have a great week. Have a great day. I hope you feel worthy to date and every day, and we'll chat soon. Bye, guys.