Episode 25: You’re the Prize-Stop Acting Like You’re Not

Are you putting your partner on a pedestal… and losing yourself in the process?

In this episode, we’re flipping the script on relationships and diving into a bold truth: you are the prize.

We unpack how women are conditioned to over-give, overthink, and overcompensate in relationships—and why that mindset is actually keeping you stuck in anxiety, codependency, and self-doubt. Backed by real data, personal stories, and a little audacity, we explore how women bring emotional stability, longevity, and structure into relationships—yet still question their worth.

We also get real about:

•  Why men statistically benefit more from relationships than women 
•  How putting someone on a pedestal drains your power 
•  The emotional labor women carry (and why it matters) 
•  Codependency vs. confidence in relationships 
•  How to start showing up as the prize without losing your softness 

This episode is your reminder to stop shrinking, stop chasing, and start standing in your value.

Because when you truly believe you’re the prize… everything changes.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is for the woman who refuses to settle, the one who knows she was made for more. It's for the audacious woman who's ready to burn the chip, own her story, and create a life built on radical self-belief.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

I'm Amanda Galloway. I'm Ashton Greer. We are your podcast hosts, and we welcome you to the Audacity Podcast. Hey. Hey, welcome back. Amanda's over here yawning. I know. She's caffeine. I'm the one on my period and she's yawning. Yeah. I don't know. I got on my app and it said you might be more tired today because you're in this phase of your period and blah, blah, blah, blah. No, so maybe that's why I've yet to You also have narcolepsy. Yeah. That'll do it. I forgot about that. Yeah, she has narcolepsy, guys. I really do. Not like the it says my battery today will be 32% on my flow app. No, I I don't have like the the I'm gonna fall over asleep narcolepsy. Right. There's cataplexy and there's non-cataplexy. Cataplexy. Like a doctor. Well, I've done a lot of research on that Galloway. Oh, that sounds nice. You should pursue that. You know, I really want to get my PhD, but my ex-husband was like, Why would you go do that?

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Girl, I can relate. I remember with my ex-husband just being like, I'm just, I'm just gonna get my associate's degree. And then I finished that and I was like, I'm I just want to get my bachelor's degree. And then I finished that and I was like, I'm just gonna get my master's. And he was like, I just don't even buy it anymore. And I haven't got my doctorate, but I will.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Tell you, tell me you're an Enneagram three without telling me you're an Enneagram. Yeah, yeah, there's something wrong with me. Me too. Me too. I had lunch with um Jess, and we were talking about the we had dinner actually one night, and we were talking about the different Enneagrams, so you were constantly on my mind, but she was like, Are you sure you're not a nine? And I was like, No, my chip on my shoulder. Like, I'm definitely a three.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

I think we're both threes. Yeah, but I think we have I think I have a four-wing. Yeah. And I think you have a two-wing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Yeah. It's very interesting if you haven't checked out the Enneagram. Mm-hmm. Very, very cool.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Yeah. We should just call our podcast like the Enneagram three perspective, because that's what we're here to giving them. This is a podcast by two overachievers who have chips on their shoulders. This is true. Who deal with internal shame and feel like they have to compensate for that by achievement. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

That's at least we're self-aware.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Yeah, Enneagram 3 is too. We have big, big hearts.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Big hearts, big dreams.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Yeah, lots of love. Lots of things to prove. We look so polished, I think, on the outside, but then internally we have like uh very deep emotional landscapes.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Okay. I agree. Enough on that. Today's topic. I love the title. Um, it's called You're the Prize, Sweetheart. Oh. I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

I may change the name.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Okay. Well, it's basically about how you're the prize. So Amina and I were talking about this topic, and it's something that I wanted to do because I think we as women go into relationships and we think about like trying to serve the other person, or we feel worried about like this man in our life, and um trying to keep him, and we like overserve and we sacrifice ourselves. And I think we're conditioned societally to do that. But this is to bring you back to reality that women are actually the prize. And I want to go all the way back, like historically, to weddings, like just the the structure of weddings, the way that weddings are, you know, officiated and ringing and all of that. I've been watching Love is Blind. Do you watch Love is Blind? The Ohio one. I watched the Ohio one and then I got into the British one. Oh, I probably like that one more. The British one is better. I love their accents. It's their culture. Yeah. It's just better. Though anyway. Been watching the British one. British one, not nearly as toxic. Oh, okay. And I prefer that. And as I was watching this, I was just watching all these weddings happen on the wedding episode. And the man, you know, goes the groom goes to the altar first, and he waits there for his bride to be presented to him. He turns around, he walks or walk down the aisle. Normally they the men like they light up, their smile, you know, like it's just maybe they cry. It's this beautiful moment where their bride is being presented to them. And I was thinking literally, like, women, like we actually are the prize. Like it's not the other way around. Not that we shouldn't treasure our partners, but we actually are presented to our male counterparts as this gift to them. And, you know, we can get we're gonna get into some statistics about that. But I've just been thinking about it a lot, how women tend to have insecurities and then overcompensate and feel anxious and like worried, and we focus so much on our weight and our appearance and being this certain thing for this man when in reality we actually bring them so much joy, stability, love, peace, comfort, nurturing. Men, I believe, need women more than women need men.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yeah, there's the statistic that men who are married actually live longer than those who are single. I pulled this up.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Uh, ChatGPT, my best friend, we talk every day. Um, my only friend, I'm just kidding. Okay. So, yes, men, marriage is associated with longer lives for both men and women, but the effect is stronger and more consistent for men. Married men tend to live significantly longer than unmarried men. They have a lower risk of heart disease and stroke, lower rates of risky behavior such as drinking and reckless habit habits. They're more likely to go to the doctor, they're more likely to follow treatment plans. They often benefit from the emotional and practical support that they get from their female counterpart. Plainly put, marriage tends to stabilize men's health and their behavior.

unknown 6:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 6:15

Yeah. It does. It really makes sense. There's also some data that say that women who lose their spouses tend to, I don't want to say get over it because it's, you know, losing a spouse would be awful, but they tend to move on emotionally easier than men do.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Yeah. I I have a male friend who told me that he thinks men are actually a lot more romantic than women, that men fall in love deeper and harder. It takes like a deep love for a man to change his life. And men need to change their lives, you know, when they get married typically, their their patterns and things. But it takes that like deep romantic love. And he believes that men are more romantic and have the capacity for deeper love than women. And I was thinking about that. Interesting. I can see that. But listen to this married women also tend to live longer than unmarried women, but the benefit is much smaller. They already tend to maintain stronger social networks without a husband. They're more proactive about their health care, regardless of marital status. Also, marriage can even add stress if the relationship is unequal and burdensome, which it often is to women. So while there is a slight longevity benefit for women, it is not nearly as dramatic. Yeah. Mic drop, end the episode now. The data shows. Listen, a worst case scenario, a stressful or unhealthy marriage actually harms the health, especially of women.

SPEAKER_00 7:46

Yeah. We just carry so much. Yeah. It is, I mean, especially if you have children, that would be an interesting is put that in there too. Like, what would happen if there's kids involved? Does that make it even more challenging? I mean, I think it would.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Oh, I think women, just the actu the act of carrying a child, the incredible like toll that takes on your nutrition, your body, your physical health. And then after the baby's born, you know, you're nursing for maybe a year, you're breastfeeding, you're like have a child attached to your tit. Yeah. For like a year. You can't go anywhere. You're you're leaking milk, you're exhausted, your hormones are psychotic. Yeah. Um, there's a lot of sacrifice that goes into that for women. Not saying that men don't sacrifice to have children, but I think their sacrifice comes later in the child's life versus for women, it's immediate.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Yes. Um There's some cases. There are some relationships where I think the men really step up. Uh absolutely. Yeah. But I think it's rarer. Yes. I'm rare. That it is not as much a cultural norm.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Yeah. ChatGPT also says uh men tend to benefit more from marriage because the women in their lives make them go to the doctor, take them, remind them to take their medications, help them eat better. And because of women, they often drink and smoke less. And then it also says that women, directly or indirectly, are the health manager of the household and they offer emotional support. Men are less likely to have deep emotional outlets outside of their partner. So when they're married, they gain consistent emotional support, which they wouldn't have otherwise. They don't have loneliness and um stress gets buffered instead of bottled up. For many men, their spouse is their only place to be truly vulnerable.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

This is why men need friends. This is why we need to normalize men having friends to go do things with. And I I feel like I know a ton of married men where they really don't have friends. I think their spouse is really their only person. And I'm like, oh. Yeah. Men need other men too.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Well, I think in general, it's really rare to see men giving each other hugs or like a kiss on the cheek or not in America. Yeah, not in America. Like that kind of affection. And I remember having this like late night pillow talk conversation with my boyfriend at the time. We were talking about men and women and relationships. And I asked him, What do you think a man's greatest need in a relationship is? And his answer just kind of floored me. He said love. It's very simple, right? But I didn't expect that to come from him. And I was like, What do you mean? And he was like, Well, if a woman goes through a breakup or a hard time or is heartbroken about anything really, she has her mom, her friends, like a network of women that are totally comfortable with her sadness and emotions and there for her. And, you know, we'll drop off gifts or send flowers or whatever. Women do that for each other. We cry with each other, we hold each other, we're not afraid of emotion. And he was saying, like, when I'm sad or heartbroken, I can call my mom. And he's like, and that's about it. And he said that men need love more than anything. And I do think is that love is what helps them have a longer life. Yeah, I agree. And so I don't think we talk enough about the actual scientific, statistical, real benefit that women bring to relationships. Like we're so often so insecure or so worried about losing our partners, or I don't know if you're me or Amanda, we have anxious attachment styles. So you and I both do. So it can be like that. So the reminder of like, no, like I actually bring so much to the table, so much value with my nurturing spirit and my ability to be organized and plan and keep the household running and make sure everybody is fed and all those things are just so valuable.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

I think that energy that you bring when you realize that you are also the well, when you are when you realize you're the prize, is that you bring more confidence and I think it brings more stability to the relationship. Yeah. Whereas someone with an anxious attachment style like myself, you know, I tend to put people on pedestals. And that is not a good place to be because that person will absolutely let you down. Uh-huh. And then you start to give your power away as well.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

I think you have you have to be able to see I don't think men having a husband doesn't necessarily it does s slightly prolong your life because you have somebody there with you as you're aging, you know that. But I think that there's a different kind of benefit to women. A benefit that is not as tangible. I guess in having I I this is gonna sound so like anti-feminist, it's gonna sound so trad wife. And um, it's anyway, funny. But I think that women almost need something to take care of. I think we are wired that way. We're wired that way. That's what I'm saying. We're nurturing, we're caregivers. Most women. Most women, yeah. What I am so like I if I don't have a partner that I can kind of care for, uh it's almost like I'm a little less fulfilled.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Well, I think we have a desire for connection. And I think that is with anybody.

unknown 13:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

And we've talked about this before that you can get connection in various different ways, but a romantic connection provides something that other relationships cannot. Exactly. So I don't think that it's trad wife or anything like that. I just think it's in our makeup to be to desire connection.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

But bringing it back to this essence of you are the prize, it really is understanding what you bring to the relationship. It's not to, you know, look at your husband and be like, see? Like, no. No, it's to calm your nervous system to make sure that you really understand that you bring so much value. So much. So much. And you're not just replaceable. No, no. And just realize it bring power to yourself. I think that you can do so much in your relationship and in life when you realize that the power that you actually do have.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Then when you're, you know, codependent or and maybe you're not codependent. Maybe you're just like exhausted in life and you don't have the awareness piece right now to see the value that you bring to other to your relationship because you're just so bombarded with everything going on, which is okay. But we we just want you to take a moment to realize that you bring so much value into your relationship.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

And be proud of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah, absolutely. Um ChatGPT does say that women are more likely to um take on all the emotional labor and become caregivers when a partner is sick. And Amanda and I had a really long discussion about this right before we started podcasting. It's on the diary of a CEO. Yeah, there was this, yeah, there was this clip that was on uh Facebook Reels that I saw that I sent to Amanda. And then we discussed this, okay? So statistically, if a woman or if a man is sick, the partner, the female counterpart, is two to three percent of female counterparts leave when a partner's terminal. Very low, very low. Two to three percent of women. If a female partner is sick, men are 20 to 30 percent like leave. More likely to leave, right? No. Well, no, no. 20 to 30 percent. Actually leave their sick partners, whereas two to three percent of women leave their sick partners. That is a huge difference.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

I got a little a little cynical on this data, so I made Ashton look even deeper into it. So this is actually true. Who said that's true? Like, where did that come from? Well, I saw it on there was a doctor that was talking about it, and I watched Diary of the CEO or I listened to it. And I I think I I'm just conditioned to question data because my degree in psychology, they make you do research and question the data. So like I ought instantly and I was like, I don't know anyone who's left their wife when they're sick, but you know, I was just so, but the statistics show like they are far more likely. But I think that women, it is in our nature to care for our people, our community. And I don't think men are wired that way. So I think when they're put in that position where they actually have to be the caretaker when they've literally never been the caretaker, they're stunted.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Well, and I think the benefit women women bring to the men is that they, you know, they take care of everything, they organize everything, they coordinate, they make sure there's healthy meals, whatever. When a woman's sick, all those benefits go away. And if that man is a selfish man or narcissistic and he he was in it for those benefits, those benefits are gone now. And so if there's no genuine love, they're not gonna stick around.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Yeah. But statistically, I mean, there's not 20% of people narcissistic. So there's got there has to be this biological component where they just are maybe it's like in a a lack of emotional intelligence where they don't know how to caretake, so therefore they just leave. You know what it is. What?

SPEAKER_01 17:58

This is the difference. Okay, I just had this light bulb moment. I saw your eyes. Okay. Um a man is sick. And he gets sick, and his wife is like, Oh, well, it's about the same as it always is. I do everything anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Continue on. You know, nothing's really changed. She's just okay, it's a big thing, but it's an emotional This is an exaggeration.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

It's an emotional, yes. It's for those who do have sick family members, it's exhausting. Yes. You know, it's a hardship.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Yes. But what I'm saying is But they're used to it. Women are women in general are already carrying the organizational load. They're already carrying carrying the the family load. Yeah, they're carrying that load anyway. So when their partner is sick, they're already carrying that load. Maybe financially they have an extra burden. I mean, definitely if there's medical bills, their partner can't work, whatever. But I think that the difference that a woman experiences when their partner is sick is probably a lot less significant than the difference that a man experiences when his wife is sick. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes complete sense. So, like it's the same because the impact is less for a woman, they're less likely to leave because they carry all that load all the time anyway. Whereas a man realizes, oh my gosh, like, what do I do? What do I do? I gotta find another wife. Like, she can't do this anymore. I I don't know how to take care of myself. I would I sound awful right now. Sound really mean, but I mean, in my mind, I'm thinking that maybe that's a real explanation.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Wow. I'd be curious to listen further on that episode because I think that there's probably so much gold in it. And I I love watching the diary of a CEO. I think that they really have some interesting people on there, some that I, you know, agree with the data, and some that I'm like, I'm not so sure about that. But it's a really good podcast if you are into yeah, expanding your mind and growth, and it's really good.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

But yeah, that is interesting. Does it say like any any more?

SPEAKER_01 19:56

I mean, ChatGPT sums this up and says the blunt truth is marriage tends to improve men's lives by adding support, and it often complicates women's lives by adding responsibility. Can we just go to the comments of this video? Oh my gosh. All right. Um, so we're here to tell you don't get married. Um, don't female listeners, don't do it. It will suck the life out of you. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

I'm literally looking at the comments, and it is a bunch of men that are like, oh my gosh, I would never. Um so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

There are great, great men. There are beautiful men.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Yeah, but here's here's the the silver lining in all this. Like, when you pick your spouse, be mindful. Uh-huh. Like, yeah, you have control over who you date. I I listened to this reel the other day and it cracked me up and it said, before you say before you decide to marry someone, go to IKEA with them and pick out a piece of furniture. Okay. And try to assemble it with them, and that will show you the character of who they are. And I was like, interesting. I was like, well, just be, you know, be curious about your partner. And, you know, I just think that there are you can there are men who would not be great at caretaking. There's men that are, and if that's important to you, you know, be mindful of who you choose. But um, yeah, it would be interesting to see more of this data.

SPEAKER_01 21:35

This episode is funny. I'm like, I can't believe we're talking about it. But it it's I'm like, this is an audacious talk. Someone said emotion versus logic at its core. Yeah. Yeah. So I actually, in choosing to get divorced, this is something that kind of tormented me often when I was married to my ex husband. Okay. Is when we had children, he like didn't change diapers. Get up in the middle of the night, help at all. Like he wasn't caregiver type and he didn't believe it was his role. So even though I was working full time and college full-time, I mean, all that burden was still on me. I have a vivid memory of like I'm breastfeeding one kid, and then my toddler also wakes up and he gets mad at me because I'm not keeping them both quiet so that he can sleep. So that was my life. And it just felt just like awful. But I had this revelation revelation that one day I'm gonna grow old and I'm gonna need somebody to potentially change my diapers realistically. I'm gonna need somebody to bathe me. Maybe maybe I'm gonna get hurt or sick. And I just knew that he wouldn't do it. Like I knew that if I got old and he was still healthy, I would be in a nursing home. And you should not feel that way with your partner who you like. And I, you know, I washed all his laundry and I cooked all his dinner and I got all the groceries and I worked and I like I took care of him ev entirely in realizing that this was never in my life gonna be reciprocated. Like I was gonna grow old and then he was gonna probably not do that even for me.

SPEAKER_02 23:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

And that realization was something that I couldn't see a future where it ever got better. And I couldn't see a future where I felt safe to become physically vulnerable because I was young and I was spry and I was able to do all that and I wasn't worried about it then. But thinking forward in my life, like I was with one of those guys that I benefited his life so much. But when it came down to me needing his help, I just I mean, if I was sick and the kids, you know, I was sick and the kids were sick, I was still taking care of the kids.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

I think a lot of this has to do with their upbringing as well. Yes. I think that it is like Antonio is is Hispanic and one of the things with their culture is like they joke around a lot about like just like suck it up, like you know, you're fine, like keep moving forward. And there's some beauty in that, but then there's also like um it's just how he grew up. So I'm not saying he wouldn't take care of me because I'm sure he would, but there have been times where I've been sick and he's like not sure what to do. Yeah. But there's like there's been times where I have been and he's been overly just supportive. But so some of it I think has to do with your upbringing and maybe also readjusting. Like he was single for so long.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

Yeah. I think that's real. And I think that generation, you know, prior, there was a more of a dynamic of like a stay-at-home mom and a working dad. And so like the sons of those dads didn't really learn how to be more balanced when there is a working spouse with them. Yeah. There's this expectation, well, my mom did everything for us. Why are you not doing everything for the kids or whatever? Um, but that was another thing as well was you know, looking at my ex-husband's parents, watching them age and realizing like that his mom was not gonna have nurturing or good care, you know, from his dad, and thinking like this is gonna repeat. And I don't know, it it wasn't why I got divorced, but it was like a real factor in recognizing the dynamic of my marriage and how much it was taking away. It was truly, truly taking away from my life. Interesting. Probably taking years off of my life. Yeah, for real. Like not sleeping for 10 years, you know, um, not having any help. I aged a lot. But don't worry, I you look a lot younger. Thank you, yeah. Backwards once I got I don't know, I got divorced and then my glow up was so intense.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

I remember you from when our kids were in preschool together.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Yeah, I had no time to take care of myself. Zero. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

And you had such short hair.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

I you had a pixie cut, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

It was so short. I just remembered this. Uh-huh. Yeah. And now you have this long, luxurious.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

I take care of myself now. Yeah. I had that like I getting divorced was the best decision for my physical health I could have possibly made. But I mean, it's also been super hard.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

But but I mean, this is hey, like, take care of yourself, ladies. Take time for yourself. You have to. I know um someone, and you're gonna know who I'm talking about, and she doesn't listen, so it doesn't matter. Um it's fine. It's fine. Do we like her? We love her. We we love her, but her husband's always doing these things for himself, yeah. Going on all these runs and doing all these things. And I'm like, girl, you need to go do something for yourself. Right. Like, go. Yeah, get out of there. Go shooting, go, because she likes to shoot. Go, I don't know, do do some yoga. Something. Yeah, go do something facial. Do something for yourself. So if you're one of those people, your husband has all these hobbies and you literally do not, you are the prize. You need to go do stuff for yourself. Yep. Get out of the house. I know you have little kids, but there's other people to watch them. Go have fun.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

And if there's not people to watch them, here's some tips and tricks. Oh, hey. Okay. Yeah, let's hear it. From someone who had a that dynamic. I didn't have like grandparents that watch the kids very often. Yeah. Okay. So if you don't have that resource, these are two things that I did to start to get myself fit again, to start to get out and do things. The first one is even if your husband's like grumpy about it, you do have to, you know, if he's making time for himself to go hunting, to go running, to go whatever, which is which is what my my husband was doing. Um, I deserve that too, right? So I would just say to him, like when he got home, hey, um, I'm gonna leave now for an hour, take care of the kids, bye. And I I wouldn't leave. I didn't care if he was mad. I didn't care if he didn't want me to, but I, you know, I had a pretty good argument of you do this all the time, and it's not just your life that matters. So you do have to get to that point where you're not, you know, so emotionally codependent where you can disappoint your partner a little bit. Here's the flip side you feel guilt as a mom and you have to let go of that guilt. Go lift some weights. Like you can get rid of that guilt real quick. Turn on some 90s, 2000s, rap, ludicrous, whatever you gotta do. Whatever it is. Like that's the first tip. So just get out of the house. Maybe have a conversation with your husband. Hey, I'm gonna start doing things for myself. That means you're gonna have to watch the kids sometimes. I'm gonna do this twice a week for an hour and a half each time. I'm warning you, I'm letting you know I have to do this for myself. Do it. That's that's option number one. Option number two, find a gym that has childcare built in. It's hard here, but the YMCA does. No, does it? Yes. So that's something I did for me is I joined the YMCA. They have child care a few hours every day. I would pack my kids up, drop them off. And the kids probably love it. Yeah. And then yeah, they love it. And then you can go to the sauna, you can go for a swim, you can go for a run, you can do an exercise class. I used to leave the YMCA and jog outside, jog the block around the YMCA. They had my phone number. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, if you just yeah, take the lifeline, do the thing. Leave your kids with your husband who doesn't want you to. Go to the YMCA, go somewhere that you can. Or option three, even if you don't think you can afford it, hire a babysitter from time to time.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

It's really not that expensive. My kids, yeah, it's really not. I mean, especially a teenager. Right. My kids, I hired a babysitter last weekend, and I never, never hire a babysitter ever, but we had an awards banquet and there were seven kids at home. I was like, I can't do it. Um, so we left the kids at home with a babysitter and they loved her. And we came back and they were playing games, they had gone to the park. So just like open up the opportunity, expand your mind on what it could potentially do for your children.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Yeah, it's kind of a treat for them if you hire the right babysitter.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Yeah, the right one.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Yeah. Certain babysitters my kids are like, her again. And then other babysitters, my kids were like, Oh my god, we love her. Like, because she plays games with them or it takes them to get ice cream or whatever. But definitely prioritize yourself. When I started doing that and I started taking my life back, um, I'm so I have so much more energy. I'm happier, I'm healthier. You're a better mom.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

I'm a much better mom. No, I mean, I'm just saying that you're all you've always been a great mom. But yeah, from experience, when I take care of myself, I am just show up as a better person at work in my relationship.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Yeah. I had a I have to share the story the other day just to give context to what we're talking about. Just like it's it's a real thing. Like I had a morning where I was off kilter. I did not off kilter. Off kilta. We were I did not get on my morning study group. I did not go to the gym and I was cranky all day. All day. And it just goes to show how important it is to, you know, for my morning study group to connect with those ladies, to um journal, to exercise, and just put myself in a frame of mind that is a healthier version. Because I went home that night and I was ugly around. I was just a joy.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

If I if I'm cranky, going to the gym does help. Like nine out of ten times, I can pretty much guarantee this is gonna help. And it does. Yeah. Just some move your move your body, get that bad energy out, shake it out, dance. Yeah, dance. Do that. Dance is fun. Dance in your kitchen. Whatever. I used to do that with my kids too. Uh-huh. Just dance. Now they don't want to do any of that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

I know because they're too old. Ugh.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Yeah. I think I think you should have a baby. So I think so I can have a baby in my life again.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

No, you can. I would like to You're younger than me. I need somebody to have a baby, please. Yeah, you ain't gonna be me. I have seven of them.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Okay, I'll think about it. I'll think about it. I'll think I'm thinking about it.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

Okay, cool. Have a girl.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

Okay. Deal. Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Um, all right. So back to being the prize. I just want you to realize that you're just as important as the man in your life. Yeah. You need to take care of yourself just as much. You need to realize the value that you bring to the relationship. If you're a codependent, don't put anyone on a pedestal. You have to see yourself with rose-colored glasses.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

At the wedding, you are presented to him. Yes. You extend his life. You make his life better. He literally lives longer. He literally makes better habit, better choices. He's less self-destructive. He might leave you when you're sick. He's not lonely. He has somebody that he can actually like lean on emotionally. He's able to be vulnerable. He's able to heal. We bring so much healing energy to our men if we're not toxic.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Yeah. If you're, I think if you're in your feminine, it's so much. The relationship is just so much better. Peaceful. So much more peaceful. When you can be in your feminine energy and just release and be calm and again still have that confidence that you realize that what that you bring to the relationship, the the value. And for all like the single ladies listening.

SPEAKER_01 33:33

All the single ladies. All the single ladies. Oh, it's Amanda singing today. I like it. I'm rubbing off on her. I'm rubbing off on her. Um for you guys listening, uh enjoy. Enjoy it. Like it's hard to enjoy it if you desire a partner. It really is. But like also, this is a time where you can a hundred percent focus on you. Once you do have a partner, you do add more responsibility to your life. It it is more weight. You're it you're taking care of a whole lot more. So yeah, this is a time for you. End up with a guy who has five kids. Yeah, don't be like Amanda. I'm just kidding. JK, the Bachelorette has three kids. Single mom, three kids. Are they still airing that? Fascinating. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

There's a guy from Indianapolis that and Facebook friends that's on there.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Yeah, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

Wow. Uh-huh. I always thought he was a bit of an interesting person because I would always see him promoting himself. I think he's in the real estate space. So um, but he never had a girlfriend around. I was always really skeptical of him.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Well, maybe now we're gonna maybe now he has a fiance.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

No, it's all leaked. We know who she's with now. I have not been Frankie Taylor Paul is all over my social media.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

I I try not to mess. She's got a lot going on. She does. Wasn't she a sister wife?

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

Yeah. Sister wife. I you know, that's an interesting thing. I I think um sister wives, listen, hear me out. Okay. It's a lot of responsibility for a woman to take on a man. Yeah. We're talking about that. It's a it's a it's a task, guys. But for a for five women to take on a man, it'd be a little bit easier. It'd be a little easier. Yeah. I mean, and I I I don't want to be a sister wife, I don't think. I'm I'm too insecure for that. Yeah, I don't I don't think I want that. But it is an interesting concept of sharing that that load and like the sisterhood and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:31

The community. I'm not knocking it. So it's interesting when we came up with this topic. I had a completely different vision of what we would talk about today. And Ashen had another. So it's just funny to to hear the direction.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

I mean, it was like we're gonna talk about empowerment and like not being codependent and like women, you know, self-love. And I was like, no, no, no. We're literally talking about how women are are better. And she was like, Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 36:00

I'm rolling with it. Okay. But I was not nearly as prepared. I was much more prepared for the other topic.

unknown 36:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

But you opened my mind. You opened my mind. I was a little closed-minded on the data.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Yeah, it's it is it's real. Um, we are the prize. It we do really bring a lot to the table. A lot. So choose your choose your partner wisely. Yes. I've been pretty bad at dating in my life. I've been I guess my my picker's a little off, but um, I'm working on it. I'm pretty happy right now. Good. Yeah. That's all that matters. Yeah, I'm a happy girl. I'd like to see you happy. I have been so happy. You have.

SPEAKER_00 36:36

You've not been stressed at all.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Uh uh. I mean, I don't know. Something has changed. Something has changed within me. I don't know that one. Something is not the same. It's wicked.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Well, I knew it was gonna be wicked.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

I knew. Yeah. Um was um defy- I'm defying gravity right now. Proud of me that thank you. Thank you. Okay, let's let's wrap this up. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

We love you guys. Thanks for listening to our banter and our chaos.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Yes. Uh next week we will bring something a little more uh serious to the podcast. Yeah. We're gonna talk about how to say no. Boundaries. Boundaries. But but like somebody uh wrote in actually and asked, would you do an episode on saying no and then dealing with the guilt that follows that? Like, how do I say no to something and then not have FOMO or guilt that I let somebody down or I didn't show up or whatever? So we're gonna talk a little bit about choosing your yeses wisely and when it's appropriate to say no and when it's not appropriate to say no. I have some examples of that. And um You can always say no. You can. You can always say no, but there will be consequences for your no's. Yep. Some of those are good consequences and some of those are bad consequences. So we're gonna talk about not being a people pleaser, um, letting your yes be yes, letting your no be no. And then once you've made that decision, just having peace with it. Yeah. So that'll be next week. Cool. All right. See you guys. Bye. Bye.