Episode 32: The Truth About Emotional Maturity and Self-Worth

Why do some people grow through conflict… while others self-destruct from it?

In this episode of The Audacity, Amanda and Ashton dive deep into emotional maturity, emotional intelligence, attachment styles, self-awareness, triggers, relationships, conflict, healing, boundaries, and self-worth. They unpack how childhood wounds, insecurity, ego, and emotional reactions quietly shape our relationships and daily lives.

From breakups and anxiety spirals to emotional regulation and communication, they explore the difference between reacting emotionally and responding intentionally. They also discuss people-pleasing, overthinking, victim mentality, attachment wounds, relationship dynamics, self-respect, and how healing yourself changes the way you love others.

This episode is raw, reflective, funny, vulnerable, and full of real conversations about becoming emotionally healthier humans. If you’ve ever struggled with overreacting, taking things personally, shutting down, needing validation, or navigating difficult relationships… this episode is for you. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is for the woman who refuses to settle. The one who knows she was made for more. It's for the audacious woman who is ready to burn the chips, own her story, and create a life built on radical self-belief. I'm Amanda Galloway.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

I'm Ashton Greer. We are your podcast hosts. And we welcome you to the Audacity Podcast. Hey. Hi. We are on video.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

We're on YouTube. Recording our second YouTube video.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

I figured it out. Yay! Proud of myself. I had somebody asked our sign.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

I we need to put it back up, but it keeps falling down. We need to get a nail. We're not always that I don't know. We're not always on the ball with things like that.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

We have too much going on. We do.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

We have recorded 31 episodes. Yeah. I saw that. Somebody asked me yesterday if I could. She was like, I want to start a podcast. So I printed our little like, you know, checklist and I sat down with her for like 30 minutes and she was just wanted me to show her like the platforms we were on and stuff. And I pulled it up and I was like, oh my gosh, we really actually have like 30 some episodes. Yeah. I didn't know we had this much to say.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Neither did I, but here we are. So yeah, I'm still trying to figure out the YouTube part. And there were some things I clipped from last week because I was like, I probably should not say that live. So I will try to be more intentional because if I don't know how to do that transitional part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Oh, sorry. Or match today. But it was not on purpose. So mine is like an athletic version and hers is like a dressy version. Yeah. I have some financial appointments today. So I was like, oh, I should probably dress up. And I'm going to go to the gym today because I've been slacking. Because I've been so busy with so much else. Yeah. So much going on that um I'm it's like the one thing that I'm like, well, I guess I won't go to the gym today. I was gonna go yesterday. Like I had blocked out a window of time to go. I was really excited. And then one of my really good friends is going through a breakup. And I saw her and sh I could just tell I was like, she needs to talk. So I skipped the gym and I went and got cocktails with her. You're a good friend. Yeah, but um I had cocktails and French fries instead of going to the gym.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

So balance.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Yeah. But that's what likes about.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

It is. Well, you're a good friend.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

And breakups suck. Breakups do suck. Yeah, five years. They've been together five years. Ugh. Yeah. Five years. Ugh. And it's just heartbreaking. I hate that. I hate breakups. They're the worst. The worst.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Because you're not only now like having to create a new life, like everything changes. Your person's no longer there. You're grieving that person like they died.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Yeah, yeah. And you are like awful. Especially if you live together, cohabitated, you're going home and they're like, not they're not there. And you're going to sleep at night and they're not there. And you're waking up in the morning, oh, they're still not here. And it's like this cycle for quite a while. It is. It's very, very sad.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

But then there's this version of you that comes from it that is so empowering. You kind of like come out of your shell, and it's like you shed all that grief, and you become so much stronger, so free, and then you kind of see things from a different light of like, oh, that's why it didn't work out. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

You just have to get through it. Yes. I a single Ashton and not single Ashton are very different people. They are. They're very different people. And I was thinking about like, what is that? My energy shifts a lot when I don't have like a counterpart. Like I'm not balanced in that. It's just like wild and wild and free me. Yeah. It's fun. It's a fun time.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

And then uh my fiance's worst fear is Ashton being free.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Because of the influence on you, he's like, Ashton has got to be in a relationship because if she is not, she is gonna be pulling away all kinds of weird stuff.

SPEAKER_02 4:10

No, I'm just I don't know. I'd be there for it. I'd be respectful of him.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

You and I have fun. We've never been single at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

No, it's probably for the best.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

God would be like the world could not handle them.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Maybe we'll be like widows at the same time. That, yeah. And then like in the nursing home, we can cause all kinds of trouble. Oh my gosh, nursing homes are dramatic. That's what I'm saying. Like, we could be like the nice girls of the nursing home. Not the mean girls. So the nice girls they can be catty. We can like throw little parties. Have you seen um there's a show? Oh my god, what is it? Um it's not Yellowstone, but it's like Yellowstone. Probably not. I'm not a TV person. There's this woman who's married to like a wealthy man. She is in her 50s, probably 40s, 50s. And in her free time, she and her daughter go to the nursing home in town and they throw them parties with margaritas and they get all the old people drunk and they like take the old people to do it. It definitely is. Oh my gosh, that's funny. Funny though. Very funny. Oh, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Yeah. No, there I think you get when you're at that point in your life, you really give no shits and it's unhinged. Right?

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yeah, I can't wait. And I obviously don't want to increase like speed up my aging.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Well, you talk about going to the country club and being like playing cards together and stuff like that when we're old. Yeah. Which I think is a great idea.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Yeah, old and retired. Like we'll just go play bridge all day at the country club, drink our favorite red wine.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

That's great. Yeah. So it's new.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

But the puppies are getting bigger and they're now pooping. And it's disgusting.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

They were doing that the whole time, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:00

No, they don't poop for like several days. Oh, okay. And then they start pooping and peeing, and now I'm like, oh my god, it's gross. Um, and you can't bathe them. You can't bathe them because they can't regulate their own body temperature. So you have to just wipe them with a damp cloth. And then by the time you've like wiped them off and dried them, and like you put them back in their like little clean pin, within like five hours, it's just shit everywhere again. So I'm dealing with that. Um, that's been fun. Like you don't have enough on your plate already. Yeah. Been busy with work. A couple curveballs this week. But because of emotional intelligence, which is what we're gonna talk to talk about today, um, the curveballs don't seem so overwhelming anymore. I get a curveball and I think I've had many curveballs. This will be fine. So there's some of that going on. A lot of expenses, like unexpected expenses, a little financial stress. That's not fun.

SPEAKER_03 6:55

No.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

But you always always figure that out.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Like you'll this is the thing that I love about you is that you'll be like, I'm in this pickle, and then a week later you're like, Oh, I'm like actually abundant, and all this is flowing through. And it's like it's almost uh, I I thoroughly enjoy it because I'm like, you go, you go, girl. Thank you. You do, you always persevere. Yeah, I'll figure it out. But what about you? So my kids got back from Switzerland. Um, my fiance's been in Singapore, Malaysia, and now he's in Tokyo. I mean, that has a very exotic life. I he does, I know. Okay, I have to show you live what he ate last night so that you can decide with me if this is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen. Uh I told him he needed to purge this out of his body before he.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

He ate that?

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Yeah, I'm gonna try to show it.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Was it alive?

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Oh, it's gonna try to Yes, it was moving. I'm trying to show it on screen. I don't know. Is it moving? Is it here?

SPEAKER_01 8:01

Lift it up. Bring it up a little to the camera. It's so gross. Uh higher. Yeah, right there. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

It's so gross. It's moving, guys. He needs to purge this out of his body.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

What is it? I don't know. Let me see that.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

And it looks like it looks big. It's disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

He ate it while it was alive?

SPEAKER_02 8:21

Yeah, I'll tell you what it is.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

That's really sad.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

I know, it's so gross. He ate it as an appetizer. Oh, he he said it's an Abulon, which is a Spanish whatever, refers to a group of highly prized edible marine sea snails. It was alive, guys. He also ate like a chicken heart or something while he was over there, and something else disgusting. He's had horse meat. I am literally like, you are disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Eating things while they're alive is kind of cruel.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

It really is. I think so too. So I don't know. He should probably go see someone. He probably has a mental disorder. Parasite or something now. It does have a parasite. Yeah, so I'm disgusted. Um so that's but other than that, like everything's going well. I'm so much more energized this week, and I'm feeling so much better. I had my labs done and I started um taking some vitamins and she was really sleepy for that. I was struggling, and then I am starting my hormone replacement therapy, I think, next week. So I'll keep you guys updated on that. I'm so ready for it. And what else is new? I think that's it. I think that's it. Cool. So cool. Life is trending in a positive direction. Yeah. There's moments, guys. There's moments where you're like I kind of crashed when I got off my um anxiety medication. That's okay. Deeply crashed.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

That's all right. We all, you know, struggle.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

I also noticed when I was doing the YouTube that I have horrible posture.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

I sit very proper. I've been told so many times I have great posture.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

I don't know what it is. I just sit like really good. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

I don't. I'm like hunched over all the time. My mom's always like, sit up, Amanda. I'm gonna start I'm gonna start recording like this. I'm like, I don't know why I have back issues. I have no idea why. All right, moving on to our topic. Um so as Ashin said earlier, we are talking about emotional maturity today. And this is not to say we have it all together. This is a lifelong process of learning. And it starts with self-awareness.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Yeah, emotional uh intelligence or emotional maturity, it's like a it's like a rite of passage, I think. And it's not something you're just like born with, it's something that is learned and earned over time and trials and trial and error, like, oh man, I really overreacted there and that caused damage. I'm gonna try not to do that next time. And yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

Yeah, so IQ, you can't change, but EQ, you can. Yep, exactly. And that's awesome. And oftentimes I found that the times that I develop the the most an EQ is actually through challenging times, through disagreements with a partner or with a friend. Yeah. And then the mirror is held up to you, and you're like, oh, I need to change that about myself.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

But that is self-awareness that's reflecting really on how you handle things. And I also think it's a generational thing. I think our generation is becoming a lot better at self-awareness. Like I see my mom's generation, and sometimes I feel like they never learned that element, and there's a lot of emotional, like a lot of us had parents who were emotionally immature.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Yeah, that or like I see both sides of that with that generation. And I also know people in that generation that are amazing at this, but Oh yeah, me too. My mom's great. I see like either they give you the silent treatment and like are completely don't know how to deal with emotions, and so then they just get like a mad at you, don't communicate silent treatment, hide, withdrawal, punish you with their absence, that sort of emotional immaturity, or the other side of it where it's like explosive, reactive, yes, and then like the damage is done, and then they pretend like everything's fine, like nothing happened. You know, it's like I'm just gonna unload on you, and then the next day it's like, hey, how you doing? And you're like, Right. What?

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Um Well, there's also the other side of it where the younger generation are seen as like, I don't know, I think the word is like snowflakes. And so there's this ability to allow people to be expressive, but the inability for people to regulate their emotions. So it's really a fine balance. So I mean, the this isn't generational by any means. I'm just speaking from the extremes that there's you're going to see it regardless. I mean, you if you're listening, you know someone who's emotionally immature and you can pick it out so easily. But I think it's something that you really have to learn and develop throughout the years. I don't think it's I think we all struggle with it.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Uh yeah. I used to think that I was really emotionally intelligent. Oh, this is like in my early 20s, like over 10 years ago. Yeah. Um, you know, decades ago. Because I had a lot of empathy. So like I could feel everyone's feelings, I knew what people were feeling, I knew what they like in a room. I had this like, I guess it's a form of emotional intelligence because I had a lot of empathy for and I could feel other people's feelings. Um, and so I thought that meant I was emotionally intelligent. And then in getting my degree at college, I took a class um about interpersonal leaderships, like leading yourself. And I had to take this assessment and I got my results back, and it said that my weaknesses were subjectivity and conflict and hostility. So when something was really important to me, or I was deeply offended by it, or um I was super passionate about it, I would be ineffective in my communication because I couldn't see the other person's perspective. I was so subjective, it hurt. My feelings were so big, so overwhelming that I couldn't even see their feelings. And then I would have hostility in addressing it because um my opinion or my feelings were so big that I was just like, they're an idiot. How could they not see it this way? And I would be hostile and like mean in it, which made me really ineffective. Now I can say that 10 years later, I still have this tendency. It's like it's part of my personality. But I'm super self-aware of it. And when I am very heated about something, very angry, I know exactly what to say to hurt someone. I know exactly what words to say. Yeah. To like get my point across and be the smarter person and to win the argument, you know. But I've learned through time that that's really emotionally unintelligent because you're not actually gonna win a person over or even resolve the issue with hostility and the inability to hear their side of the story, their perspective, how they feel. Um, so I I guess what I'm trying to say is that something I've learned is that having great empathy, which I do have a lot of empathy and feel people's feelings and emotional intelligence, they can go hand in hand, but they're not the same thing. Right. Yeah, it used to be the same way.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And I knew what to say to hurt the other person. But that's not how you get it across. And I think that one of the best lessons Antonio has taught me is putting myself in someone else's shoes and understanding their trauma, their experiences through life, where they're coming from, accepting their feelings, accepting for who accepting them for who they are, obviously having boundaries and tolerance for, you know, the bad behavior. However, it's finding compassion during the you're not yawning.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

I have not been getting enough sleep. I had nightmares last time. She did this last time too. But I think um, anyway, getting back to it, I think that it's honoring that person's perspective and seeing where they're coming from that I think helps develop that bridge to gaining more um just healthier relationships. And the we self-sabotage and we have horrible relationships because our inability to regulate our emotions. Yeah. And that is where you're going to see a lot of disconnect in relationships, not just, I mean, I had a friend breakup not terribly long ago, and it was because of an emotional reaction. And it could have been something that was, hey, let's sit down and actually talk about this.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:11

And it's um it's really sad to see, and it comes from unfortunately a lack of emotional intelligence when you can't be that person to sit down and resolve something that is conflicting.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

I'm having so many thoughts as we're talking through this because it's such a broad topic. Yeah. I wrote down some ideas. But I but I want to say this uh when someone disagrees with you, an emotionally immature person will think that person doesn't like me. We're not compatible, they don't like me, I'm gonna, you know, fight with them or whatever. What sorry geez? What I have learned is that if someone disagrees with me, it's an opportunity maybe to learn from them to disagree respectfully. There's a way that somebody can disagree with me, and I come away from with it with more respect for them. Or they for me, because we disagreed respectfully. Um and it's not a personal attack. Like, say Amanda really thinks that um abortion should be legal, and I am really saying I'm really like pro-life, and I don't think it should be legal. Now I could villainize Amanda and be like, she's a terrible person for wanting this, and you know, create this story around her, and she could do the same to me. She could be like, this woman doesn't care about women's rights, she doesn't care about women's freedom. What about the women that get raped? And you know, we can we could make it a huge thing. This is all this is all unreal, by the way. Yeah. This is the scenario, but um, we could make it a huge thing and make the other person a villain for disagreeing with us. And people do this all the time to other people, all the time. Uh you see it in politics, you see it everywhere. Instead of recognizing that people have different sets of values because of their lived experiences. And our experiences shape our beliefs. And so if somebody disagrees with you, they probably just have a very different experience in life. And it's And that's okay. And that's okay. And and we don't have to try to change everybody's minds, and we don't have to try to be, you know, aggressive and hostile social justice warriors. We can communicate much more effectively through love.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

Can you imagine how much more productive our society would be if we just banish some of that and just leaned in with compassion and understanding?

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Well, in Martin Luther Martin Luther King Jr. Jr. hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that. And I think that's the gist of the quote. But when we give each other hate for disagreements, that is emotional immaturity. And it accomplishes nothing. It just further divides everyone. Versus if I said to you, you know, Amanda, I really actually don't agree with your perspective. And this is what I see. But I want you to know that, like, I haven't walked in your shoes, and um, you know, you're you're allowed to have your opinion about it. But I'm gonna keep living in faith and I'm gonna keep living in my values, and hopefully that inspires you to consider my perspective. Like the four agreements.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

Don't take everything so personal. Yeah, don't do it. Because it's not. It really is not. So I wrote down some things just to keep me on track because it is such a broad topic. But as I said earlier, most relationship problems aren't communication problems, they're emotional regulation problems. And uh so getting back to the sum of it though, emotional, what is emotional maturity? So emotional maturity is reeling realizing your feelings are valid, but they're not always facts. Right. And I loved, I love that when I read it because I was like, that is so true. Because we can, like you said, develop a story about someone, and it's not the fact of I did this yesterday. I had the VP of operations or whatever she's in charge of send me a message and she was like, Can you do do you have five minutes to talk to me before this meeting? And I started developing a story in my head, and I was like, Amanda, you don't know what she wants. And I was like freaking out. I was like, What? I was I had a presentation to give to 200 people yesterday, and I was like super nervous about it. And I was like, and she was there, she watched me um practice. So I was developing this story in my head. Um and I had to take a beat and be like, Amanda, it's okay, relax. Yeah, like you don't know what she's going to say. And um, anyway, that's just like a small example of realizing that you can calm your own feelings by realizing that they are not facts. But something that I learned is that from Antonio, ironically, he's taught me so much. Um, and I I think I've probably taught him a lot too, but it's Being curious.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

Antonio has this way about him that is very uh open-minded towards others. And he's pretty like compassionate towards others and their differences. And I've yeah, I think that's like his greatest strength, honestly. He's very open to people. He's very curious.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Very he's very extroverted, very curious about people. Yeah. Alright, do you want to hear some signs of someone being emotionally immature? Yeah, yeah. Go back. But I guarantee you're gonna think of somebody. Many people, including yourself as you actually more importantly, think if you have these as I read them. Okay, do some self-reflection. That's good. Yeah. Silent treatment, defensiveness, needing to win every argument, blaming everyone else, victim mentality, avoiding hard conversations, passive aggressive behavior, seeking validation constantly, emotional outbursts, running when things get uncomfortable, using therapy language to manipulate people, and making impulsive decisions based on temporary emotions.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

Yep. I checked many of those.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

We've all been there. We've all been there. Um I had a circumstance in the last couple weeks with um an organization and there have been s many emotional reactions that have occurred in this time frame. And now there's a lot of regret going on, you know, because you have this emotional reaction because your emotions are so valid in the moment. And you if you're a highly emotional person, it's it it feels like a fact. You know, your feelings feel like facts, they feel so real, they feel all-encompassing. And when a person's that highly emotional, it takes a few of those mistakes and then regret to learn in those moments. And I'm one of these people, I've had to learn this. Oh my gosh, my feelings are so overwhelming right now. That means I am not gonna take any action until they settle down. And that is wise the lesson that I've had to learn. And until I can get myself to a regulated and rational place, I try really hard not to. Now, if you're like in very close relationship with me, like my children, or if I have a partner or those people in my life, I cannot always take that time. Yeah. Um, but I've really, really learned a lot here. Um, and I do still have moments of like it just feels so big and so overwhelming and I get kind of reactive. But for the most part, um, a sign of emotional growth and emotional intelligence is just pausing. If you're one of those people that does damage when they're emotional, practice a pause. Yeah. Don't call back right now. Don't email right now.

SPEAKER_02 24:48

Call your best friend and talk it out with her.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Yeah, I did this with Amanda the speaker.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

I did that with you. I do that with you all the time.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

And I think we that helps kind of balance out and give a different perspective.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Yeah, because that person you're talking to isn't having that emotional reaction.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

I've said this before, be careful who you talk to because there are some friends that'll make it worse, and there are some friends that can help you put a mirror up to your face.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Well, yeah, some friends will be like, burn that bridge down, you know, like tell them, show them, show them who you are. Like, you're a bad bitch. You whatever. There are people like that. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Yeah. So not every emotion deserves immediate action. And I love that. I actually what? No, no, no. Go ahead. And then I was thinking about last week, I had something similar to this, and I kind of created a story in my head that was not real. And I had to talk myself out of it and be like, Amanda, you do not know the facts here. You're going down a rabbit hole of thoughts, and I was tired, I was hungry, and I like kind of had to check myself. Like, am I meeting my emotional needs to be on my best? And I I was not. So there's something deeper there than just creating stories in my head.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Okay, what were you gonna say? Well, two things now. I will spiral if I'm underslept, undernourished, haven't exercised, or if it's like a day before my period. Those are all the things. And if they all happen at the same time, it's a perfect storm. But so just know your weaknesses, your weak points, and then if you're having a reaction, oh yeah, I probably should just sleep. Yeah. Maybe I just need to go to sleep, and then tomorrow I can handle this. Um, what I was gonna say is it reminds me of that I sent Amanda this like TikTok the other day or YouTube video or something. And it was this woman critiquing the Let Them book. Oh my gosh, it was so funny. She was it's fake. It's fake. But it's uh it's a spoof. It's so funny. It's a is that the word a spoof or a parody? A parody. Um she was like, I don't, I'm not really a fan of like, you know, Mel's book, Let Them or whatever. And she's like, you know what I say? She's like, I wrote a whole book about it. And she was like, I say you headbutt that bitch. So funny. She was like, I see somebody, they make me mad. She's like, I don't let them. She's like, I go right over there and I headbutt them. And she was like, She was so aggressive. Wham, like right in the head. Yeah, you I don't like what you said to me. I'm just gonna come right over there and crack your head open. Anyway, made me laugh because it was so funny. So funny. But like Mel, Mel's book is basically like, you know, if another person does something you don't like or excludes you, you just have to let them. You have to accept, oh, this happened. This doesn't feel good, you know, but don't like ruminate on it, let it ruin your life. And this woman's like, no, I'm not gonna let anybody do anything to me. I'm gonna headbutt them. And it just, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

That's hilarious. I mean, Mel is onto something though. That is emotional intelligence in let allowing people to, but here's the which I it's been a while since I've read the book, so I can't remember the details of it. But to also create boundaries for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

But again, don't take everything so personal. Let them and realize that it has nothing to do with you.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Well, and her follow-up to that is let me. Uh so it's like let them they talk about let them. Yeah, never talk about let me let them, and then she's like, let me do this. Yes. So like this person has shown me that they're not trustworthy. Yeah. Let them be. Let them be not trustworthy, and let me now remove myself from their lives. Let me now um be more cautious in interacting with them. Yeah. So like there's two steps to it. Okay, you don't have to hate them. This is the reality. Also, I'm now going to take this action, and that's that. We're not villainizing anybody, we're not we're not creating a story about them. We're just we're observing, we're accepting, and we're adjusting.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

Yeah. Something that came to mind as you were talking about the um emotional response to things is in the evening, things are more intense.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Feelings are far more intense in the evening. The moon. I don't know what it is. So I would avoid conflict in the evening if you can. And that's where I think in the evening, if you can take time just to allow the dust to settle and let emotions kind of calm a little bit. That tends to be f a far more productive way to handle things than because at night everything is just far more intense. You've had a crazy day, the kids are, you know, tired. Who knows what it is?

SPEAKER_01 29:10

No sunshine.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

I'm not a huge fan of go to bed angry, but I am a fan of trying to find a way to resolve it.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Hey, I love you. We will resolve this. Like, let's just take a breather and come back to it tomorrow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Yeah. Absolutely. Because things can be so intense uh uh during a fight. Yeah things can be said that are hurtful. I mean, I used to be that person. Oh my gosh, my poor ex-husband. Like, I was reading and doing research on this, and I was like, I need to send him a message. I won't out of respect for his wife. But I just wanted to be like, I was so emotionally immature. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Yeah. I find I kind of think about that too sometimes, like the things that I would say or how personally I would take things that really weren't about me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

But I think, you know, in perspective, if I would have put myself in his shoes, um, my ex-husband was a very introverted person, but it his job was very extroverted, so he would come home and be very depleted. Yeah. And he was done. It was so frustrating for me because I was like, oh, save some energy for me. And he really had nothing to give. But instead I made it personal. And I would hold on to these feelings and push them down and push them down, and then I would explode. Yeah. And yeah, the the he would go silent. And it was just a we had a horrible dynamic of how we handled our emotions. It was just not a compatible compatible way, compatible way.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

Yeah. Emotional intelligence is is really one of those things, it's like a muscle you have to flex. It does get easier to lift to lift the weight of emotions. Yeah. With time. But it's never really easy, I think, in those moments when your emotions are all encompassing. And I also think it's important to note that someone who's been deeply hurt in their lives, if that pain isn't healed, they're going to have a much more, like a much harsher emotional reaction. Yeah. It's kind of like an unhealed wound and someone touches it versus like a scabbed over wound or a healed wound. So like if I touch you in a spot that's healed, it's not going to hurt you. Yeah. But if you have a gaping wound and I touch it, you're going to like pull back, you're going to like react intensely, you're going to yell, maybe you're going to scream. And so it's like a personality. I don't want to get too far into this, but personality disorders like like borderline personality disorder or um things like that where people do have extreme emotional reactions. Um it often is a result of like a deeply empathetic person who didn't have emotional intelligence or regulation skills, who was deeply hurt, abandoned, betrayed, um, abused, manipulated, whatever. They went through a horrible pain. Um, and then that's the paradox of someone who's highly compassionate, highly empathetic, highly open, someone who's very open, but um so open that that wound is easily touched. And then when it's touched, that other personality is there that's coming to the surface. Um and it looks like it's like rears its ugly head essentially because all that pain is coming out because that little that that wound was touched. And so I think a lot of emotional maturity is doing that intentional healing so that when your pain point is touched, it doesn't have such a strong emotional reaction. You've healed a lot of it.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

Absolutely. And also being transparent with your partner on hey, this is something I am working on. Yeah. This is something that I am working on controlling my response to. But I want you to know that I am working on it. And when here are some ways around it that you can help me, which I think is really important. Like there are some things with Antonio, like I for a long time had a fear of abandonment, and he is very cautious, or he was very cautious when we got into fights like, hey, I'm not leaving you. So he would help calm my nervous system.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

Right, because you have that wound. Yes. Right. And I have wounds as well. And so there's certain things that are like, I need you to do this or say this, or help me like come back to a center when I have this reaction because it's just the trauma. Your mind remembers the pain and what it felt like to be left. Yeah. What it felt like to be betrayed, what you know, whatever it is that you had, would had experienced.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

Yeah, but that trigger can ruin a relationship if you don't heal it.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Yeah, the trigger and the the reaction to the trigger.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

Yes, yes. So if you if you don't hold a mirror up to it, you're going to constantly go back to it. Oftentimes, people, when they're fighting, they're fighting about the same thing. Yeah. And it is a wound over and over and over over and over and over again. And it's a wound that is just like will not heal. But no one else can heal that for you but yourself. Yeah. There's no perfect person in the world. Somebody will bring something up.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

Well, and you can't really heal relationship wounds in isolation. You you kind of have to heal them in relationship. Like you have to have a different experience. Yeah. So if you do find that partner who's willing to help you work through it and to be delicate with you and around those areas, like that's a really special thing to have.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

Yeah. And I think also a lot of people will when they are triggered and they're dealing with this dysregulation of emotions, instead of finding healthy ways to cope with it, that's where addiction can begin.

SPEAKER_01 34:56

Yeah. Why don't you elaborate on that a little bit?

SPEAKER_02 34:59

So um it could be, I mean, it really could be anything like escapism.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Like I'm really sad, I'm really depressed. I'm just gonna escape into this video game or this substance, or yeah, like it's very destructive coping examples.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

So here are some examples impulsive texting. Like you get so mad and you just start like typing, typing, typing, okay? Okay, yeah, um cheating.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

Okay, have no, not that one.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

Emotional shutdown, uh-huh, anger outbursts, drinking, doom scrolling, attention seeking, ghosting, gossiping, revenge behavior, jumping into another relationship, overworking, avoiding hard conversations. It can be as um, we've also talked about this earlier. Porn can also be an escapism for um when someone's overwhelmed. I mean, I I think about myself. When I'm overwhelmed, I get overstimulated very easily. Yeah. And when I am that like that, I have to find something to calm me down, like going to the gym. Antonio's really good about now, he'll go on walks.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Like I'll notice that he's like too much is going on, and he is like, I just need to go on a walk. And he'll take his rosary and he'll pray and he'll go on a walk. And he is recognizing he's being triggered and he is taking a healthy way to regulate. Yeah. And not a lot of people do that. They will suppress, they will go on their phones and scroll the dopamine, the quick dopamine button.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yeah. A rat in a cage, just hitting that button over and over again. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 36:36

And that's not a healthy way. It's going to create more destructive um fallouts because of that. So it's really important to just take a beat and not be reactive. Yep. Right.

SPEAKER_01 36:51

So I was thinking about this. Um, I think it's kind of this spectrum, okay? You have highly emotional people and then you have highly intelligent people. And you can have a little bit of both, you know, you can be emotional and intelligent. But when you get one without the other, so like you go.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

Are you talking about EQ emotional or like being sensitive?

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Um, not EQ, just highly emotional or like highly, even highly sensitive. Sensitive people. You have HSPs, highly sensitive, and then you have people that are super smart, but like socially and emotionally awkward. Yeah. Okay, super big spectral.

SPEAKER_02 37:30

I saw that in academics a lot. Yeah. Very, very intelligent people with who are in leadership positions that should have not been in leadership positions.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

Well, like very smart though. I just read this. Some highly emotionally intelligent people are excellent leaders and communicators, but they are not especially nurturing or empathetic. So they understand emotion from an intellectual standpoint. Yeah. They know how to react, they know how to um temper emotional reactions, they know how to mediate, they understand that they're like looking at these people, oh, they're having an emotional reaction. Well, this emotional reaction means this, and this needs to be a good thing. It's like a computer system. This is what I should do to calm it down. And but they don't actually have that nurturing or empathetic element.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

And then I had an ex like that, and it would drive me insane.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Like they're psychoanalyzing you, but they're not actually. It's like a computer.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

Like it's like it is you're not really there with that person. It's literally like dating a robot. Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

It's not fun. Then they said life. Very smart. Likewise deeply empathetic people often unintentionally create chaos because they cannot regulate themselves or make difficult emotional decisions. Now, this means if you're on the other end of the spectrum, you're probably somebody who's super empathetic. Everybody likes you. Yes. You're very friendly, you're very sweet, you're always going out of your way for other people. But then when it comes to making a decision that might hurt someone else or like a boundary, it's very difficult because you don't have that emotional intelligence. You're afraid to hurt anyone else because you feel their pain. I I use I am on this end of the spectrum. Yeah. So both ends of the spectrum have to work to come into center. Where if you're on this end over here, you're intellectualizing emotions. And if you're on this end over here, you're emotionalizing you're just you're you have you don't have intellectual emotions at all. They're just so intense, like a wave.

SPEAKER_02 39:31

And men are more, I think, of the opposite. And women are more emotional. So there's a parallel there that's original.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Yeah. Well, in general. And these two people often marry each other. I know.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Antonio's very intellectual. I'm very emotional. And there were times where we could not understand each other. And he's like, because he's so smart, he would say things and I would emotionalize them. And he would be like, That's not I'm just saying a fact, Amanda. That's not what I meant.

SPEAKER_01 40:04

Yeah, like, why are you taking this so personally? It's just a fact. Yeah. Uh so it the real, the real, I think emotional intelligence is coming into the center of that spectrum. Yeah. Where you can intellectualize emotions and understand what's happening and why I'm having this big reaction. And this is what I should do, and this is what I shouldn't do. And if I don't want this to explode, I should take a pause and I shouldn't take this personally and whatever. So, like that person coming over here, and then this person um who's so intellectual about emotions, actually like taking a moment to be like, How does this feel? And what must they be feeling? And like, you know, have like practicing empathy, uh, which is I think it's actually probably harder to come from intellectual to empathy than it is to come from empathy to in intellect. Um, but I think we have to do that work to get to that middle ground.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Yeah. I think a lot of this in what we're saying is that you have to develop self-worth to create that stability as well, emotional stability.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

Because otherwise you're always trying to find worth within your like from external factors.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

Well, my friend who just went through the breakup. Yeah, she was talking to me about it. And she said, like I like have so many feelings.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

I feel bad for her.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

Oh, it's awful. It's awful. But she said, I don't know why I even feel so bad. Like he was kind of a terrible boyfriend. Listen, and she's like, But I left him. She's like, but he didn't do this or this. It was like having like a 50-50 boyfriend. And she was explaining to me all the things she was compromising on just to keep him in her life. And I was like, It sounds like you don't think you deserve better, or like you don't think that you don't think that you could have better, or that like that you don't think that your needs could be fully met. You know, like you could find somebody that actually is a hundred percent a boyfriend, not 50% of the time. And um I wanted her to really think about that because I do think that our self-worth really impacts what we're willing to put up with in a relationship. The more I love myself, the less shit I'm willing to put up with.

SPEAKER_02 42:06

And the healthier your relationship will be because you find someone that aligns with you and what you want. Now nobody is perfect. There are things that in a relationship you can't fix and you just have to accept about that person.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

I had a partner say to me, um, I asked him, I was like, is it super frustrating like my standards and like my deal breakers and the things that I know that I need? And he was like, honestly, no, it makes me respect you. And I thought that was really interesting because in the past I felt bad asking for them.

SPEAKER_03 42:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

But like I didn't have self-respect, and so they didn't respect me either.

SPEAKER_03 42:40

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 42:40

And so now I'm in a place of no, this is what I need, this is what I want. I'm not joking around about it like a hundred percent. This is for real. If you can't do this, you should just go now. Right. And I'm like very clear about it. And um you know, this person said, like, no, it actually like gives me a layer of respect for you because you respect yourself enough to to walk away and to know what you need.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

Yeah, I think we all should have standards to that degree. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, they are they're your standards are nothing crazy. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

I think they're pretty yeah. Thank you for saying that. I don't think they are either. No. But they are crazy for some. Yeah. Some would think they're crazy. My standards are actually pretty simple. Yeah. They really are. I require a lot of affection though. A lot of affection. That's fair.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

I do need that. I think that also when you're confident, you don't feel like you have to over It doesn't feel so overwhelming. You well, you don't have to dominate the conversation either.

SPEAKER_01 43:36

And when you have self-worth, you're like, well, if this relationship ends, that would be really sad, but I I gotta s I gotta like stay true to myself. Absolutely. I gotta stay true.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

Yeah, but then you're you're also not trying to seek validation from the other person to confirm or um fix your wound. Right. Right. You're just like, okay, this is what I'm feeling, this is what's going on inside of me. Me and this is, you know, you're you're looking at it from a totally different lens instead of just like the like the previous version of Amanda would have gotten into a fight, and because I had low self-worth, I would have just been like clenching at some type of validation.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

You would have made it about you. Yeah. And what you need. And yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

And honestly, I would say that I did that for a very long time. And I think I don't even know. I would say even in the last six months, I've changed drastically in this.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:35

And I can see things far more outside my own self. And actually, Antonio was like, you're a little rigid in some ways. And I was like, I am. Yeah. Yeah. I am. I need to think about that. I need to, and he didn't mean it in a way to uh put me down, but it was constructive feedback that I needed to hear.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

Well, I think if we are raised in any sort of organized religion, we are trained to be very rigid. Yeah. That's so there is like a black and white. Things are black and white. The conversation you and I were just talking about the abortion, the pro-life, pro-choice, that is very black and white. And so there isn't room for nuance, and there's a room for perspectives when you're um brought up that way. And so unlearning that is super hard, actually. Yeah. Because you feel like, well, no, this is right. Like I have proof. It's in the Bible, you know? And then it's like this, there is right and wrong, and you're wrong, and I'm right, you know? Yeah. But like in reality, and people will disagree with this, but no one really knows on many issues. There is nuance in life. There's so much gray and nuance in life because of people's experiences and what brought them to that place in life, and you're not in their shoes. Like in the Bible says, like, go ahead and pull that little tiny stick out of their eye, but you got a plank in your eye. And he who is without sin can be the first to throw the stone. We're now a Bible podcast. Okay, but like for real, I'm gonna preach because this is the church gets this wrong. It does. It really does. It gets this wrong. Like, we are not here to judge each other. I am not here to take the tiny stick out of your eye because I got shit.

SPEAKER_02 46:13

Yeah. You got shit. Nor do I want to. I don't want to be around a lot of perfect people. Love. Love is the answer. Love is the answer. I agree. So we t we kind of talked about this in a previous episode, but I think this is really important. Turning trauma into identity can really, really damage and create a lot of toxicity in relationships.

SPEAKER_01 46:40

Your victim story.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's all about you. And you have to check your ego. Our ego is what drives all this conflict. And I'm not saying you're wrong. Your feelings are valid, but is it coming from a perspective of like, do I need to be right? Or is it coming from a perspective of I need to validate the story that I've been living?

SPEAKER_00 47:08

Yeah. I'm just thinking about that. Yeah. I think you're right. I think you're right. Wow, this is this is a deep uh episode.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Um I think kind of like a general summary of this whole thing is like what is emotional intelligence and how do you get it? And how do you get there? And um emotional intelligence is like understanding what's really going on when you have a fight or when you have a disagreement. It's like, okay, I understand what's really going on here.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

And understanding you have a part in it too.

SPEAKER_01 47:49

Yes. And then knowing how to respond constructively. Yes. So you're not burning it down all the time.

SPEAKER_02 47:57

But also not always walking on eggshells, too, right?

SPEAKER_01 48:00

Right. But because there has to be not just like I don't because my feelings are hurt, I now have a free pass to tear you to shreds. Exactly. That's not emotional intelligence. It's I'm hurt. I see what's going on here. This is why she feels this way. This is why I feel this way. It's the ability to intellectualize emotions a little bit so that you can see or maybe take a balcony view. Just step up a little bit, look at all the factors at play. Don't be so subjective. You know, get outside of yourself a little bit, look at the situation, and then to respond in a constructive way. I think that's the key. It's I'm not going to cause this person more emotional damage. I'm not gonna burn this relationship down. Maybe responding in the most constructive way is hey, we don't see eye to eye. This this this experience really hurt my feelings. I need to take a break from our friendship. Maybe that's a response, but that's still very emotionally immature. Yeah. Like it's not being a pushover and not abandoning yourself, but it is responding in a way that doesn't cause further damage and that um is emotionally aware of the situation.

SPEAKER_02 49:11

This is why therapists talk about using I statements. This is the very reason why. It's because you're being more cautious on the words that you're saying, and you're avoiding creating such an emotional response where you're attacking someone and you're getting out how you feel without creating even more tension in that fight.

SPEAKER_01 49:34

Right. I could be like, Amanda, you are so insensitive, and sometimes you are just such a mean girl, and I don't know like why you're so self self-centered, and you, or I could say, hey.

SPEAKER_02 49:46

And I shut down, I'm not even listening. I'm thinking of how I'm going to respond to that.

SPEAKER_01 49:50

She defensive mode, boom, boom, boom. Instead, I could say, Hey, the way our fight made me feel, you know, I felt really, really sad and I felt really abandoned. And um, it's really important to me that we work through this and that I understand where you're coming from because I don't want to cause any more damage in our relationship.

SPEAKER_02 50:11

And from that That's an I statement. Absolutely. And from there I would take accountability.

SPEAKER_03 50:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:16

I would say, I understand. I would reiterate how you feel. And I would say, I understand that I did this dot dot dot and it made you feel like this, dot, dot, dot. And I am going to work on dot dot dot. And that is what makes a relationship work is it's not always not, I mean, it's not not fighting. Relationships will have conflict. What makes them stronger is how you come back together after a conflict.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:44

And how you learn more about each other and you put your ego aside and you want to grow.

SPEAKER_01 50:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:51

And you want to be a better person for that other person. Yeah. And um and compromise.

SPEAKER_01 50:56

I can give a little advice. I can work here on this, and you can work on that. And yeah. I just had a situation with someone I work with where we came away from the conversation with, you know, you're gonna work on these three things, and I'm gonna work on these three things, and we're gonna do better at communicating. And like we came with a g in agreement and um and follow through. We're just following through. Yeah, I think that's how you build trust.

SPEAKER_02 51:16

Yeah. And I think a lot of it also has to be the desire to.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

Yeah. You have to want it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

Yeah. Antonio and I say every day, like, I choose you. I choose you. I choose you. And it is a thing that we have decided that we want to make our relationship work. So we're choosing every single day to continue to make that relationship work and being very, very thought-provoking in how we are handling situations, how we're coming together in things. And it's this idea that, yeah, even when things are hard, we still choose each other because it's not, you know, they say the honeymoon phase ends after two years. So you will have times in relationships, in all relationships, really, where you'll have ups and downs and ups and downs, and it's not abandoning every person that doesn't fit with your mold of how you think everything should be.

SPEAKER_01 52:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:14

It's allowing yourself to reflect on your own wounds, your own past, your, you know, how you respond to things, accepting other people for who they are and not trying to fix them. And just really, I mean, I'm just thinking about this from my own lens, from my own relationships, is that loving someone for exactly who they are who they are, obviously having boundaries, learning about each other, being curious, and just wanting to always level up for that person. I think one of the best relationships that I've had are with people who are constantly also evolving themselves.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

And I think humility in your relationship, I've had to say to my partner, like, this is an area that I really struggle. And I need your help. Like when I'm acting this way, will you point it out to me? Will you help me grow in this way? And vice versa. Yeah. And it's about humility. And the only way to have emotional intelligence is to be able to see your own weaknesses and how you contributed to the problem. And that's that's tough when your ego gets in the way. Yeah. It really is. I I think that it's just the human condition to want to protect um our egos.

SPEAKER_02 53:31

Yeah, we are conditioned that way because back in the day we would have been isolated, ostracized, and that would have meant. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

We would have been alone and yeah, the the wolves would have eaten us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:43

So our brain is wired to protect ourselves, right? So you kind of really have to uncondition that part of you. So here are some things that emotionally mature people do. Okay. So just some things that you can think of when you start feeling uncomfortable in something. It really can be you read a social media post and you start feeling this feeling and you're uncomfortable. Like it could be as minute as that, or it can be your next fight with your disblock them. And follow. There are some cases, obviously. But so pause before you react so you don't have to immediately respond to something. Regulate yourself privately. So this is like go into another room, go on a walk, go to the gym, call a friend. Yeah. Stay calm under pressure. Don't freak out. Just regulate yourself. Communicate honestly, but also be kind. Respect boundaries. Admit when you're wrong. Handle criticism better. This is something that I could be better at. Don't gossip or weaponize information. They don't disagree without being they can disagree without being r disrespectful. And they can sit discomfort this with discomfort without self-destructing. So it's a hard one. Yeah, emotional maturity is not perfection. Everyone gets triggered. Everyone reacts poorly sometimes, but emotionally mature people reflect, repair, learn, and grow.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

I think the as you were speaking, the one that I don't think we've touched on it very much, but it's really, really important is the ability to sit with your emotions. Yes. To not run away from them. And that is that is maturity. Um like the baby out with the bathwater. Like a child. A child like runs away from things that are painful and like isn't doesn't have any sort of endurance for them. Well, comes with your attachment style. Becoming older and more mature means that you understand that feelings are fleeting and that it's gonna pass. And I and I can I can endure this and I can endure this discomfort. And 90 seconds that emotions flow through you, it might be even less than that. I think it's less if you feel it fully. Yeah. But if you like So it will you know, if you like filter it through, it takes a very long time and it keeps popping back up. And but if you just feel what you're feeling and you just let yourself feel it and you don't have that cowardice around your emotions, you're not afraid of them, that is maturity. Yeah, as well. Just don't unleash it on somebody. Like you feel it. Take responsibility for what you're feeling. Yeah. Easier said than done.

SPEAKER_02 56:16

Having a secure attachment style is also emotional maturity. Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_00 56:22

It is. That's hard.

SPEAKER_02 56:23

So if you're avoidant, if you're anxious, there is an element of emotional immaturity there. Yes. And there it's fine. It's okay. You can learn from that. You can hold a mirror up to yourself. You can become a secure partner. Yeah, absolutely. You can grow into it.

unknown 56:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

Yeah. I am so much more secure, but I used to be incredibly anxious.

SPEAKER_03 56:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:44

And I think that the right partner will help you develop that security too, because they will help you, they will give they'll be patient with you. They'll allow you time to reflect and and help you help you cope through those times. Now you still have to do the work, but but having a supportive partner is very important. It's underrated, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Yeah, very important. All right, it's been about an hour on here.

SPEAKER_02 57:08

Wow, look at us. I know, I gotta get going. So much to talk about. So um, yes, we're on YouTube, so I will put the link below. You can watch us, you can I'm so happy. Um, you can please subscribe and share so that we can reach more people. And uh we're we just really appreciate you listening and all your support. And if you have any any suggestions for topics, we are all ears.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

We're here. We're here for it. We're gonna need more topics. We're not gonna stop. No. So and we can't stop.

unknown 57:44

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 57:44

It's a Miley Cyrus, you know. Putting the USA. That song never gets old, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 57:49

No, we should outro with it.

SPEAKER_01 57:51

There's a party in the, you know, when you put the music in.

SPEAKER_02 57:53

I don't you have to get some rights and pay money for all that. So sorry guys, you're gonna have to listen to this exit. All right.