Episode #31: "The Weight & Joy of Wedding Planning" (Featuring J. Starr Lead Planner, April Warner)

Podcast Episode Notes

More Than Just a Wedding Podcast
 Guest: April Warner (Lead Planner & Director of Team Operations, J.Starr Wedding Company)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jennifer Starr speaks with April Warner, lead planner and director of team operations at J.Starr Wedding Company, about what wedding planning truly looks like beyond timelines and logistics.

April, a returning guest and long-time member of the team, shares her approach to planning, client relationships, communication, and what it means to fully protect a couple’s wedding day experience. The conversation highlights the emotional, relational, and strategic depth required of a professional wedding planner.

Key Topics Covered

What Couples Really Receive From a Wedding Planner

•  Wedding planning is far more than logistics and timelines 
•  Planners serve as long-term partners throughout the entire engagement 
•  Couples receive decades of experience, vendor knowledge, and guidance 
•  The role is collaborative rather than controlling 
•  Planners help couples move from vision to execution step by step 

Trust and Communication in the Planning Process

•  Trust is the foundation of successful client relationships 
•  Clear, consistent communication reduces stress and confusion 
•  Couples are encouraged to share concerns openly and early 
•  Responsiveness directly impacts the planning experience 
•  Transparency allows planners to better advocate for their clients 

Decision Fatigue and Emotional Overwhelm

•  Couples often feel overwhelmed by too many choices and opinions 
•  Indecisiveness is addressed through guided narrowing of options 
•  Anxiety is often rooted in fear of making the wrong decision 
•  Planners help identify the real source of hesitation or stress 
•  Emotional support is as important as logistical support 

Supporting Clients Through Complexity

•  Communication is the primary tool for navigating challenges 
•  Planners present curated, manageable vendor options 
•  Clients benefit from discussing decision-making styles early on 
•  Hidden factors such as budget or family input often affect decisions 
•  The goal is to reduce overwhelm while maintaining clarity and momentum 

Protecting the Wedding Day Experience

•  Planners manage behind-the-scenes issues discreetly 
•  The team works to resolve problems without involving the couple when possible 
•  Coordination with vendors ensures smooth course correction when needed 
•  Couples are only brought into issues when necessary and appropriate 
•  The priority is preserving the emotional experience of the day 

Emotional Realities of Wedding Planning

•  Couples often feel pressure to please family and guests 
•  Decision fatigue increases as the wedding date approaches 
•  Planners help refocus couples on the purpose of the day 
•  The core reminder is that the wedding is about the marriage itself 
•  Emotional grounding is a key part of the planner’s role 

Defining a Successful Wedding Day

•  The couple is fully present and enjoying the experience 
•  Logistics are handled seamlessly in the background 
•  Guests and families feel cared for and included 
•  The couple feels no need to manage or troubleshoot the day 
•  Success is defined by joy, presence, and peace 

Planning Style and Structure

•  April identifies as highly structured and detail-oriented 
•  Systems and process create clarity and reduce stress 
•  Relationship building naturally develops within structure 
•  Organization allows for better creativity and execution 
•  Efficiency is a core strength of her planning style 

Vendor Relationships and Industry Expertise

•  Strong reliance on trusted vendor partnerships 
•  Planners curate recommendations based on experience and fit 
•  The modern wedding industry values specialization and expertise 
•  Collaboration among vendors enhances the overall experience 
•  Planners act as connectors between client vision and vendor execution 

Legacy and Purpose

•  Deep personal connection to the work of wedding planning 
•  Strong sense of calling and long-term purpose in the role 
•  Focus on being present for meaningful life moments 
•  Desire to leave clients with lasting emotional memories 
•  The role is both professional and deeply personal 

Core Themes of the Episode

•  Trust transforms the entire planning experience 
•  Wedding planning is emotional work, not just coordination 
•  Protecting the couple’s experience is the primary responsibility 
•  A successful wedding is defined by presence, not perfection 
•  A wedding is the beginning of a marriage, not just a single day 

Closing Insight

This episode reinforces that exceptional wedding planning is not simply about managing logistics. It is about guiding couples through emotional complexity, protecting their experience, and ensuring they are fully present for one of the most meaningful days of their lives.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Well, hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the More Than Just a Wedding Podcast. Today we have April Warner. April is VIP around all of these parts. In fact, April was the very first, very brave podcast guest. Back. And now she's a she's a second timer. Yes. So April is a lead planner on our team, as well as our director of team operations, and has been with the JSTAR Wedding Company from the very beginning. But we really wanted to focus today's podcast specifically on who April is as a planner. And we have some pretty thought-provoking questions for her, not to put her on the hot seat. But with the idea that any of her future clients that potentially potentially listen to this episode feel completely aligned with April. Um and excited about planning their wedding with her. All right. So April, let's just jump right in, okay? Oh, why not? When a couple hires you, what are they really getting beyond logistics and timelines?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Beyond logistics and timelines. Well, so really they're getting a lot. They are getting um, of course, logistics and timelines, but wedding days are made up of so much more than logistics and timelines. Um, a lot of times I think that couples go into planning and working with a planner thinking, oh, they're just gonna kind of bring everything together. And that's not how it works. Um, I'm with you from the get, from the very beginning, um, and you get guidance all along the way. Um, one thing I usually say to my couples when I'm on a sales call with them is I say, Hey, I'm not here to make your wedding mine. I am not here to just take control and you know be in charge. I really come alongside you and I link arms with you and I say, What do we want to do? And I help you accomplish it. I help get you to the finish line and get you to the day, because the day is the best part, but there is so much that leads up to it and goes into it. So you're getting a partner, you are getting knowledge. Um, I've been doing this for over 20 years now, I think, if you add it all up. Um, and so you're getting all those 20 years of me doing this and building weddings and working with vendors and putting it all together. Um, so I'm really coming alongside you and I'm going, okay, here's where we're going next. Here's what's next. And when we hit a roadblock, you've got me to bounce things off of and help get through it to get where we need to be. Beautifully said.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Well done. First one. All right. There you go. I often say April has heard me say this, my team has heard me say this so many times that I think that April is the vision you might have in your head of a wedding planner that you have seen in the movies. Um, and not in the way that's unrealistic, in the way that she gets the job done. Um, she's even been described as a human computer on a wedding day. Just she has information going, you know, in her ear. She's she's coordinating this, she's coordinating that. She's non-stop. Um, so I always, when I think of wedding planner, like the ideal mold or like the perception of what a planner is, I think of you, my friend.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Well, thank you. Um pressure at all. Yeah. That human computer thing. Um, when J Lo, the wedding planner, came out. Um, I just remember loving everything she did, how she was just so in charge. And she had her little pouch that she would like open up and she'd hand out whatever she needed. And I kind of feel like that's me on a wedding day. I've got my pouch and I've got, okay, who needs what? What do we what do we need? Where do we need to go? What do we need to do? Um, when it all kind of comes together. I'm there to make sure I got what you need.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Yes, you do. April, how would your past clients describe the feeling of working with you in three words?

SPEAKER_01 4:33

Oh, three words. Okay. I want to say relaxing a little bit. Um and fun. We do have some fun along the way. And this one's hard. Um, either reassuring or um like de-stress.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

Those are the feelings that your couples feel when they work with, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because almost every time I finish a call with a couple, at the end of it, they always go, I feel so much better after talking to you. I feel so much less stressed. Like you, all that stuff just came off my shoulders that I was stressing about or worried about or thinking about. Because we just talked through all of them and we literally like solved all my concerns, and I feel so much better now. Lighter, maybe lighter is a good word. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Okay. I want you to go all in with this question and don't leave anything behind, okay? Okay. April, what kind of couple thrives under your guidance? Ooh. What are you looking for in your couples?

SPEAKER_01 5:35

I am looking for trust. Number one. I am looking for trust. As I mentioned, I bring all these years of experience and just my career background, my wedding background, everything, I bring a lot of experience and knowledge to the table. So when I'm able to talk to my couples a few times and already start earning that trust simply because I'm presenting them with options and talking about things, um, and I earn their trust from day one, I will tell you it is the best planning experience on both ends. So number one, I'm looking for trust. And number two, I'm looking for um those that like when it's time to make a decision, we know we're gonna we make a decision. I'm not saying I need you to, I present you with something, you go, yes, April, here's what we want. Although I do have some couples that do that. Um, but I want you to really hone in on, okay, if you're struggling with a decision, I want, bring it to me. Hey, we really like this about this florist, but we love what this florist did. Can we what how do how do we accomplish what we want? So ones that are willing to talk through the difficult decisions or the difficult things with me so that I know what they're going through and what they're looking for. Um, so communication, communication. I want somebody who's willing to talk to me and just be honest and open with me.

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Yeah, I feel like a big theme that our team talks about is just the importance of responsiveness that our couples um quite frankly need to have in order for us to be able to do the job that we so passionately want to do. Um when we don't have the responsiveness and our couples go quiet, maybe because they're feeling indecisive, maybe because there is just waves of vulnerability about a lot of times it's it's the pricing. Oh my goodness, tell us. Don't keep us in the dark. The more you share, the better we can do.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Absolutely. And tell us everything. Um, and one of the questions we more recently started asking our couples in the very beginning is how do you go about making your decisions? So we know what their process is. Um, because I have some couples that say it's just the two of us, we're gonna sit down, make a decision, and let you know. Sometimes they say, well, we need to take some other people into account. And we don't talk to them all the time or see them all the time. So we need a little bit of time making the decisions, um, which totally respect and totally understand. But the more you share with me, the better equipped I am to help you through the process. Again, because if you need some time to answer a question, I'm not moving on to the next. I'm saying, okay, let's wait. I want to wait and nail this down and make a decision, then we're going on to the next thing. Instead of me flooding you with things and you be like, April, we haven't even had a chance to talk to our parents or whoever it is on the first one yet. And now they're feeling overwhelmed and I don't even know. Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

Right. April, how do you handle clients who are anxious, indecisive, or very controlling?

SPEAKER_01 8:42

At all of the above. Um, and really, again, it's the communication. Um, sometimes just getting on one phone call and explaining where we are in the process or what I need from them or hearing from them what they need from me can really solve a lot of that. Um, indecisiveness is a big thing that um we all deal with. Their decision fatigue in wedding planning is a real thing as well. Um, and so with me and the way I talk to my couples in the beginning and tell them I am not going to bombard you with options. I don't think anyone should ever be looking at six different florists and getting six different floral quotes, they're going to get confused, they're going to get overwhelmed. So, what I always say is we're going to start with two or three, two or three that I know are going to nail it, fix, you know, hit your vision, fit your budget. And then if you just are not loving any one of them, then we're going to talk about what do you like, what don't you like? So indecisiveness is something that everybody struggles with at some point in their planning journey. Um, but the way I work through it with them is talk about it. What do you like? What don't you like? And also ask them the question, what is the holdup? If you're maybe it's something they haven't told me, maybe it's well, the budget is coming like this part of the wedding is somebody else's funding, and we haven't had a chance to talk to them or they haven't told us. They haven't given us a solid answer yet. Okay, totally understand. Let's work through it. Um, but sometimes vendors are not, can't just wait on our decisions. So again, being open and transparent with each other will really help. I can go back to the vendor and say, hey, we give us one more week to make a decision because they've got some things to work out on their end. So with the indecisiveness, especially, it's what what's making you have a hard time making a decision. Share that with me so then we can work through that.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Yes. And the anxiousness, everybody gets there too. Am I making the right decision? Um, there are so many decisions to make. Like, again, we're gonna talk about it. We're gonna see what's making you feel anxious about this specific portion. Maybe something is so special to them and so near and dear to their heart that they're so worried they're gonna make the wrong decision. Or maybe their mom, like this is a really important area that their mom's gonna be looking at and they just want to get it right. So we got to talk about what's making you feel that way.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Yeah. Yeah, great answer. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

April, where do you see couples struggle the most mentally or emotionally during planning?

SPEAKER_01 11:18

I think one area that I've seen more often is struggling. It's a little more emotionally with trying to please everyone and make everyone happy. Again, maybe a parent or a grandparent or somebody has a very strong opinion on something and you don't feel the same way, but maybe they're financially contributing. So I think they get so burnt out on trying to please everyone. Um, when we go into the tasting, sometimes they'll say, Well, I have those two friends that don't eat broccoli. So I really need to make sure that they've got while I totally understand and appreciate that this is your day. You are going to serve the vegetable that you love the most, and you can't wait to sit down and be like, I can't get to have that broccoli, you know. Um, so I think they get very overwhelmed and stressed out when they're trying to please everybody who's attending the wedding.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

And I think, you know, having a planner, having that touchstone, having that guidance, reassure them that it's okay. It's okay. You know, on our team call yesterday, we missed you, April. We love you. We couldn't be there. But one of the one of the big statements that came out by planner Lauren was uh we got onto room blocks. And she said, you know, I'm to a point where I want to tell my sweet couples like you don't have to do a room block if you don't want to. It's it's a it's a contract you have to sign, it's a financial obligation. Sure, it's a nice free it's a nice offering for your guests. Sure, it can be really convenient for those wanting to stay on site at your at your venue, but you don't have to do it. Everyone's going to make accommodations somehow, somehow, if they desire to be at your wedding.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

100%. Excuse me, I've actually said that before as well. And I think sometimes couples don't understand what a commitment they're getting themselves into when they are doing these room blocks, especially at the big resorts and things. If you don't fill the block because they all decide to go get Airbnbs or something, you have to pay for those rooms. So today, especially in this wedding environment that we are in, the expectation is not you do everything for them. And I think sometimes just having your planner, someone who this is their job, tell you it's okay to not do that. Sometimes they go, Oh, it is? Oh my gosh, thank you for telling me that because I thought I was doing something wrong and I was worried if I didn't do that. So 100%. Um, I say on almost every call I'm on with a couple, I'm gonna say, listen, in full transparency, or I'm gonna say, Listen, you hired me to be honest with you. I need to be honest with you about this. If it's especially if it's an area that they're struggling on, I really say, look, I'm here to tell you the truth. So yeah, you could go without that. Or I do think it's important to include this. But yeah, you don't you don't have to do everything just because somebody else told you that you have to or because it's been done in the past. You don't have to. Yes. Correct. Does not mean you have to. What do you want? Is it important to you that when you get those photos back after your wedding, that there were chargers there? Okay, then do the chargers. If you're like, I don't even know what a charger is, but somebody told me I had to have them, you don't have to have the chargers. That's that's a real thing.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

Let's talk about your planning structure and style. You know that I admire you tremendously for your organization and efficiency. You are the most efficient human I know. Very lucky to have you in my life. Um, so um, would you say, and of course I know the answer, but I want you to share the answer with our listeners. Are you more structure first or relationship first in your planning approach?

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Very much structure first. Um, I am type A all day. Um I am a person, I am a rule follower too, um, just by nature. So I kind of have my here's how I plan weddings and I follow the structure. Now I don't want to say, here's my structure, and we always have to go according to that. And I don't care about relationship because that is not the case whatsoever. I find though, as soon as I get into the planning with my couples and we start going, get that relationship part just naturally comes. I mean, I get to know my couples from the first phone call as well. And I learn about what they like, what they don't like. I've got dogs on all my video calls. I know the dog's names and all of that, and know if we're gonna have, you know, cocktail napkins with the dog on it. Um, so I learn about them as we go. But my approach and my style is let's let's get this job done and get it done the best we possibly can. And how are we gonna be successful in doing this? And for me, that is diving in, starting with here's where we're starting, here's where we're going, here's what's next. Um logistics and spreadsheets are my love language.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Well, and what's fun, and I'll I'll overshare, as you know I do, kind of bringing it back to the trust part of it. I feel like the clients that you attract very much appreciate all the same things you appreciate. And then there's this moment in the planning process, and it's it's not right away, it takes a it takes a little bit. There is this miraculous moment that happens when you hang up the call and you realize I got to trust. And I feel like that's when the relationship really shifts, especially with your clients. Um, and I feel like in pro maybe in a way, some of the questions there's less questions because they're like, Look, I hired April. I'm gonna do what she encourages me to do. Like she knows what she's doing, like she's not going to steer me wrong. And that's such a magical for the planner. Like, it's just like when you know that you have it, it's the job becomes becomes so much funner and easier.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Yes, yes. And that goes back to my words. I say we do have fun. My three words there, we do have fun because it's we know April's got like the process. April's got us. We're not gonna like show up and there's not gonna be food at our wedding. That's not going to happen. So they can focus more a little bit on the fun things because they're not going, what do we need to do next? Like, and I've had plenty of couples say, we know you're gonna tell us if we're forgetting something.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

So yeah, it's true. Yeah, what does a successful wedding day mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 18:14

Well, it means everything to me when I walk out of there when I'm done for the night and I go, that was amazing. That was the best. And success we measure in our roles, our jobs, we measure success by our couples being present, being in the moment, and enjoying the day from when they wake up until they eventually go to bed that night and being present and just knowing everything is happening, and they don't have to do anything that day for it to come together and happen. Um, so success is measured in did my couples are they going to say that was the best day ever?

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Yeah. And they do. They do. They do.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

I always love your uh Marco polos on the way home because you do this really cute thing. I don't think I've ever told you this, but when you're feeling really confident or really good about your weddings, which is like 98% of the time, thankfully, um you will start to polo and you do this like singing voice about it. You know how Oprah does that? You'll like sing about it a little bit because you're April's also a beautiful singer, everyone. She sang at her own wedding, uh, surprised her groom. But yeah, that's when I know April's April's feeling it because you just have those endorphins of feeling like, wow, I just gave it my all, and it was so worth it because my couple was so happy.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Yeah. And that's so funny now. I'm gonna try and notice if I do that. But the wedding day high is such a real thing. And I don't care if I leave at 9 p.m. or 1 a.m. Exhausted as we are by the end of it, we are like, yes, we did that. Like, we're so proud and we're so like, yeah, because really it is what we do, is not for the week. But it also the reason we all do it is because we love it so much. And again, from the sales call, one of the first things I say to my couples is my goal is to make sure that on your wedding day, it's everything you dream and you enjoy it. So when I'm leaving and I know, damn, that was everything the dream, and they enjoyed it, like they are sitting there just beaning. They have smiles from ear to ear, and I played a part in that. Like, that is the coolest thing. Like, I cannot describe it, how cool it is.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

It's like you get to be their superhero for life. And I say that because you and I have been doing this our whole adult lives, and we have we run into couples or we have exchanges with couples online, and when they see us, like there's just so much joy and and thankfulness. And I almost feel like it it grows over time, the admiration for their planner, because they think of us as really someone that that protected their one of their most precious days of their life. So to have that role, like for us, it's and the joy that we get from that responsibility, especially obviously a job done really well. Ugh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

And you've got the families that most of the time we don't even meet them until the day before or the day of. Um, sometimes parents, grandparents, extended family. And like when it's dinner time and I'm walking around asking mom and dad, how's dinner? How's dinner? And they say, We can't thank you enough. This has been incredible. Like, thank you so much. That is just it for me. Like, you got to enjoy it too. You're the couple's parents got to. Sit back and a lot of times show up and go, Oh my gosh, this is incredible. You know, they deserve that too. And so my goal is to provide that experience. And sometimes just random guests come up to us during dancing. They'll come up and go, You're the wedding planner? You killed it, you crushed it. Like this was the best wedding ever. And I'm like, Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Yeah. And it's worth, again, just being a little vulnerable here. Um, I I feel like you'd be comfortable with me saying this. But like I said, 98% of the time, the weddings are amazing. But we are in the wedding business where there's a lot of expectations and a lot of moving parts and a lot of humans. And sometimes we will have one that perhaps to the couple and the families, it it was great. But to us, because something happened behind the scenes, and I'm obviously I want to always keep this podcast so respectful, and we're never here to storytell negatively in any way. Um, so I'll keep it general. But you know, sometimes when something happens, it oftentimes it's a situation with the vendor. A vendor, quite frankly, didn't do their job well or didn't care enough or really drop the ball. And we as planners, because we are assuming responsibility for the entire day, that affects us deeply. And it's also worth mentioning when we the, you know, the two percent that we walk away and we we don't feel that it landed the way we wanted it to, we carry that, like probably unhealthily.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

Very unhealthily, I will say. I still think about it, you know, year later, two years later, I'll think about something. Um, I am a perfectionist. It's not always a good thing because I hold myself to this incredibly high standard and put a lot of pressure on myself. Um on one hand, I think that's why I excel in this job, because I take it so seriously. But on the other hand, there are some things that are just no matter what I do, they're out of my control. Um, but I'm gonna keep those and carry those with me, unfortunately, for a long time. But I also learn from them.

SPEAKER_02 24:15

Yeah, you especially with when it comes to vendor recommendations. And you know, um we are very protective, you especially in protecting that experience for your couples.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Yeah. And again, when I go back to that on my calls, I'll say, like, I'm gonna be really honest. If they ask about a vendor that I had a bad experience with, I am 1,000% going to tell you that because if you choose to work with them, then that's your prerogative. However, my job is to protect your day. So I want you to know if I had an experience with someone who could harm your day in any way. I'm gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

And there's a difference between someone making an innocent mistake and someone not having care for the responsibility they were given that day. And I think that's where you and I passionately that's not okay. You need to show up and know this is an honor that you were asked to be here. And if you don't come with that, and because of that, you fumble and make mistakes that impact the day, it's just it's unacceptable, quite frankly. Totally unacceptable.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

And because we care so fiercely about our couples and about these days, if we work with someone who doesn't put in the same care, it just makes us go, this is so important. Like this is you gotta be here. So agreed. Yep. I'm like a mama bear when it comes to my couples. I really am.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

Yeah. April, how would you say you protect the couple's experience when chaos is happening behind the scenes? What but I I'm laughing because I'm like thinking April's gonna say there is no chaos happening behind the scenes at my weddings. I've got them locked in.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

But yeah. I wouldn't say chaos, but yeah, there are things or unexpected things or family situations. Family situations, which I've experienced. Um, so what I do is really first of all lock it in with my team. Here's how we're going to handle this and approach this. So my team that I bring with me on the day, it's rally my troops. Here's what we're doing. Here's how we're going to approach this, here's how we're going to fix it, if it's something that needs to be fixed. Um, and then if any other vendors are involved in this or need to know, maybe the DJ needs to make some kind of announcement because somebody did something earlier or told everyone something earlier, and we need to get back on track. And nope, that's not where a cocktail hour is. They all have the wrong information, or maybe it's okay, let's involve the DJ, or whatever vendor needs to be included. And so we can course correct. All about we always have to get back on track. So even if there is things going on behind the scenes, we have to figure it out, and that is my job to solve it and get us back on track without ever involving or letting the couple know. That's the goal, right? Make it happen. They don't need to know about it. There are times where it is something that they do need to know about. We do have to get their um permission, or it's a very sensitive thing happening that we do need to run by them. So doing that in a time when no, we can take them to the side and we can talk to them about it and just facts. You focus on here are the facts. Um, so again, I really I'm always trying to get ahead of everything if there is anything going on behind the scenes so that I can get us back where we need to be.

unknown 27:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:54

So many good questions. I'm trying to pick good ones for you because you're very thorough. I want to make sure we're not repetitive. I'm very wordy. Yes, I talk a lot. No, you're doing great. What do you do when a couple is losing sight of what matters most?

SPEAKER_01 28:10

And this does happen again in this planning process because it's so overwhelming. Um I bring them back to what's most important. Um, when they start to get to that point of um, I'm over it, I don't want to make any decisions anymore, I don't really care anymore. Like they all get to that, like I just want the day here. And we go, okay, we're almost there. It's usually when we're close to the day when that happens.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Yeah, phase three, phase four.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

Correct. Yeah, that's when we're there. And so I go, okay, we need to remember we're going to get you married on this day. Like the most important thing is that you two are getting married. Keep the focus on that. When you're feeling overwhelmed and fatigued, how does this affect us getting married that day? If it's not a big thing, let's make a decision and move on from it. Um, but we always need to focus on we're gonna get you married, and also what's really important to you about A, B, or C, maybe where we're stuck or hung up, or where they're like, I just don't want to pick a flower for this corsage anymore. I don't care. But so real. This it's so real. And then things like that. But that's where I say, okay, sometimes I say, let's lean on the expert. Let's go talk to this vendor. Maybe they can't pick a first dance song or the um father daughter dance song. I really just can't say, okay, let's go talk to your DJ, say, hey, you know what kind of music I like. You know, let me tell you a little bit about my relationship with my dad. Can you help me? Like pulling in those other experts are so helpful when we're just like, I don't even know anymore. Let's lean on them. Just like we're the experts in the planning, they're the experts in their area. And that's why the vendors that we choose to work with are the experts because we can then lean on them and we can say, they can't make a decision or they don't want to make a decision anymore. What do you recommend?

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Yeah. And I think that especially is really helpful with the florist email or anything design related, because that's where the decisions can really get overwhelming. And when a florist feels like when any vendor feels like the client trusts them and they have some input to be able to bring in their zone of genius, you're gonna automatically get an even better product or service because they feel like they can participate in that.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

And I feel like the wedding industry as a whole, over the last probably five years, everyone has just up-leveled, right? And everyone is an expert in their offering. They really are. It's not um what it was six, seven, eight years ago. Um, where they're oh, yeah, and just, oh, you can hire anyone who does that, they'll do a great job. No, it's our couples too are more specific on what they're looking for when it comes to the offerings at their wedding. So I'm really big on leaning on those experts. So as a planner too, I don't have to have the answer to every single question, but I'm surrounded by people, whether it be the rest of the JSTAR team, whether it be, you know, my DJ, my florist, my um photographer, whatever it is, like if I don't have that answer for you, guess what? I'm working with all of the best that can get us that answer.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

Yeah. Agreed wholeheartedly.

SPEAKER_01 31:47

What else you got for me?

SPEAKER_02 31:49

All right, let me pick. April, how do you hope every couple feels on their wedding day, regardless of their budget or size of their wedding?

SPEAKER_01 31:59

Yeah, I touched on this a little bit earlier. Um, I think that every couple does not matter how big the wedding is, how much you spend on it. Again, the end goal is you two are getting married. So you should feel happy. Just you should feel happy because guess what? You just got to marry your person. Um, whether it be surrounded by all of your friends and family, a small group of friends and family, um, you should feel so excited because you just did that. Well, regardless of what went into the planning and all of that, I would hope that everyone looks back on their wedding day and just says, man, that was amazing. Cause we got to do that. We got to make that commitment to each other and be together. We made the really big decision we're making together to even enter into this marriage. So just joy, happiness, and excitement about the day and what's to come beyond the day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

You know, something that I don't think we've talked about before, and maybe it's just because I mean, I've been married 20 years. Um you've been married 12 12 years.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

What's really special, um like I'll catch a wedding photo from either my wedding or even your wedding. And it's really special to look back at the people that were there then that have grown even more significant in my life now. And it's a really special thing to say that you were part of someone's wedding. Like this memory popped up on my phone the other day of me fixing your your dress before you're gonna park down the aisle. Yeah. And I'm like, who would have thought, you know, all these years later, and and you know, so many of just I don't know, you see little ones that are have are like your niece and nephew, like even now they're little, now they're graduating high school, and it's just wild. And it's it's it's a really tender thing to to know that someone held space at your wedding. And while it's special in real time, what people don't know is it's even more special in past time.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

So absolutely. And that's one thing sometimes people are struggling with their guest count of who to invite, who to leave off, or oh, we have to limit it because we're just going over in numbers. That's something to think about when you're looking back 20 years later, like you're doing now. Um who think about the people that it's important you have there that are holding a place in your heart. Um, and make your decision based, yeah, on that. That's valuable real estate. It is, yeah, it absolutely is. And you don't have to invite everyone just because somebody told you you should invite so and so.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

And not just from a financial standpoint, but also from like just a space in your heart, a space in your life, a space in your memories. Like that's it's a really big deal. Like, make sure they deserve to be there. That you have a gut feeling this is gonna be a lasting relationship. Totally. Yep. Agreed. So I love this question for you, and it makes me almost emotional to say it. Oh geez, but I'm gonna.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

April. What do you want your legacy as a planner to be? I'm gonna get emotional.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

I've always said like this is the one thing in life I know that I was put here to do. I know that this is what I am good at. I'm here to do this. Um, so sorry, it gets me like, and I'm so lucky that I get to do this every single day. I kind of have to have a pinch myself moment of like, this is what I wanted to do since I was a teenager, and here I am all these years later, and I get to do this. Um, so honestly, the legacy I want to leave behind is that I just got to play a part in these days, and I got to be the one with the clipboard and the last smile that the bride saw before she walked down the aisle to get married and start her life. Um, or the last I do a thing with my grooms and I shake their hand right before they go walk down the aisle too. And so to have that moment with them, I want them to just getting to be a part of that, and they're going to remember that I was there with them on their day. And like when they say, April, we couldn't have done this without you, like that in itself is everything to me.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

It really is. It's it's just that of that that true, genuine appreciation that you feel.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

And I think too second part of that to what I want to leave behind, I want everyone to know how much I love doing this. How much like this is my passion, and this is what I absolutely love getting to do.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Oh well, I feel so fortunate to be able to do this with you, my friend.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Thank you for bringing me along for the ride for all of these years, letting me stay here with you and bringing all of my crazy to the table.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

Girl. I don't know who brings who most days, but I'm glad we have each other because it's uh it's sure a lot of fun. But it sure is it's a big responsibility, and the pressures uh of it um can be high at times. And so um, thankfully, we have each other and we have our team and we have our supportive husbands because it's not it takes a little bit of crazy to to do what we do, but uh because we love it, it it's sustainable and enjoyable.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

So and shout out to my husband because he knows how much I love this and he never uh questions a thing because he knows like this is this is what you do, this is what you love, and he like sees how much joy it brings me.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Yeah, that's I mean that's worth noting because I do think when when we go into our wedding weekends, I I think you and I really share this um in different ways, but the buildup starts to happen like Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then Sunday. Like I know our listeners can't see what I'm doing with my hands, but there's a buildup, and then there's just a blast off, and then there's a come down. Um and you really have to have families and spouses that understand that because they do lose you during those weekends, um, because you have to go, you have to go all in with everything you have. And then the depletion afterwards is pretty intense.

SPEAKER_01 39:21

Um it is, yeah. And they have to know that that's what it entails, that's what it takes. And so um having that support and being able to go and be at a wedding, you know, a rehearsal the day before, and then the wedding all day, sometimes a rehearsal dinner, welcome party.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

So you're you're out for two days and knowing that sometimes because we book these events a year out, you know, that means we might be saying no to things that pop up on those weekends, you know, birthday parties of loved ones or social events, or I don't know, you name it, um, our children's um activities from time to time. So, but that's something that you know we obviously don't talk about often. We would never we might don't share that to make anyone feel bad. The reason I'm sharing it is because that's how much we love it and that's how much we're committed to it. And just as the owner, I'm in I'm in awe and and such endearing appreciation of our team because I know what it takes to say yes when they say, yes, I'm interested in that wedding.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

It's a big yes. What we're signing up for and what we're signing our families up for too. Yeah. And but again, they all are like never gonna stop you because look at you go. Yeah. And look at how happy you are and what you get to do. Like, you go.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Well, thank you, my friend. Um, again, we always try to close out the show by talking about um the podcast being titled More Than Just a Wedding. April, I know I've asked you this once before, but let me ask you again, and maybe you know, your thoughts have changed a little bit, but when you hear the term more than just a wedding, what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 41:12

So I've thought about this a lot every week when I listen to the podcast because everyone's answers are so great on it. And so I thought, okay, April, what does it really mean to you? And to me, more than just a wedding is we are wedding planners, and this is what we do, but a wedding is not just a day. A wedding is a marriage, a wedding is a life, a wedding is a production and a year, year and a half, sometimes two years leading up to it. So this whole podcast and everything that you talk about on here, Jen, is all like, what does it take? What is what goes all into not just that day, but everything. And then also, you know, you being married 20 years, me being married 12 years. That day is just a day. There is so much more to come afterwards. That is just the start of everything.

SPEAKER_02 42:13

Great answer.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

All right, everyone, that wraps this episode. Thank you so much for listening. I know you are gonna walk away with this so inspired by April and everything that she shared and the advice that she offered. And uh thanks for thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time.