Episode #32: My Kids Interview Me: Wedding Planning FAQs with Emma

This week, we're trying something a little different!

With summer break officially underway, I invited one of my favorite people—my daughter Emma—to take over the interviewer chair and put me in the hot seat with a list of wedding planning questions. The catch? I had no idea what she was going to ask.

From budgeting mistakes and vendor priorities to wedding-day stress and behind-the-scenes stories, we're covering many of the questions couples ask throughout the planning process. Along the way, I share practical advice, lessons learned from years in the wedding industry, and a few personal stories that remind us why this work means so much.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The wedding expenses couples often forget to budget for
• Where people unintentionally waste money during the planning process
• How early you should hire a wedding planner
• What happens after you officially book your planner
• Why wedding planning can feel emotionally overwhelming
• Whether planning a wedding can actually be fun
• The moment couples typically feel the biggest sense of relief
• Which vendors should be booked first
• Wedding-day issues guests rarely notice
• Funny moments involving ring bearers and flower children
• The types of couples who are the best fit for the J. Starr Wedding Company
• What to do when you're feeling completely overwhelmed by wedding planning
• One of the hardest days I've experienced as a business owner
• How my love for event planning began

And at the end of the episode, Emma shares her own perspective on what "More Than Just a Wedding" means—a moment I wasn't expecting and won't soon forget.

Whether you're newly engaged, deep in the planning process, or simply curious about what happens behind the scenes of wedding planning, I hope this conversation leaves you feeling a little more informed, a little more confident, and a lot less alone.

Thank you for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who is planning a wedding.

Connect with Jennifer and the J. Starr Wedding Company:
Website: jstarrweddingcompany.com
Instagram: @jstarrweddingcompany
Podcast: More Than Just a Wedding

Transcript

0:02

I'm your host, Jennifer Starr, and this is More Than Just a Wedding, the podcast where we celebrate real people, real moments, and respected budgets. Let's make wedding planning feel a little more human. Well, hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the More Than Just a Wedding podcast. It is officially a summer break in our home. And I always try to do an interview style podcast and then a solo podcast. But I will tell you, the solo podcasts are a little awkward because I'm essentially talking to myself. So I thought, why these kiddos are here for the summer, I would have them join me on the solo cast. How do you feel about that? I'm excited. Let's do this. All right. So we put together a bunch of questions, and Emma has selected a handful of questions. I do not know what they are that she's going to ask me. So we're going to do just an FAQ kind of a rapid fire question episode. So here we go. Okay. First question. What's something people always forget to budget for? Ooh, good question. The two things that came to mind is number one, um, alterations. Alterations can be very expensive. So you do want to be mindful of that when you're selecting your gown. Secondly, I think postage for the invitations is one that sneaks up in people and they're like, oh my goodness, I didn't even think about that. So alterations, postage. Okay. Question two. Where do you see people wasting money without realizing it? Oh, okay. People waste money without realizing it. When they get really excited in the beginning stages of the planning process, and they just start buying all the things before their colors are established, before their design concept is, you know, even started, before anything aesthetic has been laid out, can they start buying all the things? Because they're excited. And I understand that. But what I would say is take a picture of it, it's not going anywhere. That's what I do with you guys in the store, huh? If they see something they want and they're excited about it, and I don't think it's the right time to buy it right then and there, I'll say take a picture of it, think about it. If it's something you really want, it's not going anywhere, especially in today's fast-paced Amazon. It'll be here in a minute world. If you think about it and you walk away and you're still thinking about it later, go back and get it. Don't go buy all the things. Okay. Um, question three: how early should someone hire a planner? Sooner the better, honestly. There's, you know, of course, it depends upon the level of service that you're looking for. But but even with that, I would say if you know you are going to have a planner, hire them as soon as possible. Because even with us, with our team, even with our final prep collection, which is our most minimal planning collection, you still receive access to all of our support and tools from the beginning. So you want to be benefiting from that as long as you can. Okay. Next question. What happens first when someone books you? When someone books us, it's so exciting, first of all. We then start our onboarding process. So our onboarding process is where we get you set up in our systems in the back end. So we create all of your planning sheets, we get you set up as a customer in our accounting system, and we then send you your welcome information. From there, we do kindly ask that you fill out a getting to know you form, and then your planner will reach out to you and schedule your official onboarding Zoom, which is so much fun because now you're talking about reality and you get to really start the planning process. Um, why do people get so stressed about weddings? Oh goodness. Expectations and emotions, honestly. I think it's one of those milestones that someone may think about for a long time if they want to get married. And then when it's finally happening, I think they get a little freaked out because they want to do it the right way. There's the expectation part, and then there's the emotional part. It's a lot of our sweet clients are people pleasers. I myself am a people pleaser, and you want to try to do right by your family, by your friends. You're trying to be mindful of your preferred pricing range. It's a lot of emotionality that goes into it. Can a wedding actually be fun to plan, or is that a lie? Ooh, um, I think a wedding can be fun to plan. But that's just me. I have I have grown to realize that like we love hosting parties, don't we? All like we love having people over, we love holidays, we love anything party related. But there are a good handful of people, I would say half, if not even more, than don't. The anxiety, the pressure, it's just too much for them. So I think if you know you're one of those people, you definitely should invest in a planner because they're gonna take away a lot of that stress that's on your shoulders. Okay. Um, what's the moment couples usually feel the biggest relief? There's a big sense of relief once the date is booked and the contract is locked down with the venue. I always tell our couples, give yourself a minute after that happens to take a breather, because that's that's a big decision and that's a hard decision, and that's most likely your most expensive decision. Take a breather, you know, do do some cheers to each other. Take a moment before you dig into the next phase of the process. Okay. Who are the most important vendors people should hire first? Well, obviously, you have to you have to lock in your venue first. You have to have your foundation. Without that, you don't have a wedding. So venue first, and then what we say are core vendors. So anyone that physically needs to be on site at your wedding. So, case in point, obviously your planner, your photographer, and your entertainment. Those are humans required at your wedding and your efficient. Second wave of vendors are going to be vendors that can potentially take on more than one wedding on a day. And also they're not there when the actual wedding is happening. So that's going to be your florist, your rentals, your hair and makeup teams, and so forth. And then the fun stuff, you know, the um beer burrows, the cigar rollers, the champagne fairies. Although they would need to be there in person, but I wouldn't put them in your core vendor category because those sometimes can be more of splurges than needs. Let's get your let's get your basics covered first. What's something that goes wrong at weddings that guests never notice? Um, something that goes wrong that guests never notice. I think, and this has been touched on before, I think a lot of times our sweet couples get hyper-focused on the timeline. And while, yes, that's incredibly important, please know that it it ebbs and flow depending upon our couple. Sometimes ceremonies don't start right on time because we look out and we see that half of the guests are not there yet. So delaying the start time by five, 10 minutes is going to be beneficial for the ceremony. Once people walk through those doors and they're they have their, you know, their party clothes on and they hear the music and they're so excited, time disappears. So let us manage the time. And we have ways that we catch up, that we delay, that we switch things around, and your vendor team is internally talking about that continuously. So you don't have to worry about that. Don't be so caught up on the timing. That doesn't mean that the wedding is off or wrong in any way. Okay. Um, next question. What's the funniest thing that's ever happened at a wedding you planned? Funniest thing that's ever happened at a wedding, I have planned. See, I really didn't know these questions ahead of time. Funny, funny, funny. Sometimes like things happen and there, I think because a wedding is there's so much expectation, there's so much planning that when something goes off course, people because the stakes are so high, people laugh. Um, like oftentimes during the ceremony, if one of the partners says a line wrong, they just laugh because the nerves are going, they're just so uh excited. And once that it breaks from the perfection, it's just it's hysterical. So I'm trying to think of one moment. Um I mean, there's been times where we've had little ring bearers walking down the aisle. Oh yeah. Uh yeah at the wedding. Yeah. And they'll they'll run off and chase like wild geese by the pond. Or not go through the aisle, but like around the chairs. All the time. The little kids. And that's the thing too, is I tell our couples, let the little kids be the little kids, because if you over instruct them, it's it first of all takes away the fun, but let's see what they're gonna do. And that's a fun, sweet moment for sure. Next question, Emma. Okay, um, what kind of couples are the best fit to work with you? Oh, I love that question. I would say the best suited couples for the JSTAR wedding company are definitely going to be the couples that care about the overall experience for their loved ones. Oftentimes they've made a lot of their decisions with all of their people in mind. So they're going to book a venue that's comfortable for their guests, usually where their guests can stay on property or at least close to property. They want it to be comfortable, convenient. Ideally, they want everything in the same location. They want to make sure that they're getting good food, good beverage, that everyone's informed, that their time is respected. Our couples care a lot about their humans. And what's really beautiful is in addition to that, they really value the experience that their vendors have. So they really like that we are a very established experience company. They feel safe within that. Yeah, I love that question. If someone is listening and thinking, I need help, what should they do next? Ask. Ask for help and don't be shy about it. Um, you know, if not your planner, don't be afraid to talk to your venue representative or your vendors because we've this is all, I shouldn't say, let me speak for myself. Professionally, this is all I know how to do. And I love doing it. So please don't ever think that asking for help is a burden in any way to any of the people that you've hired for your wedding. Okay. Next question. What do you do when a couple feels totally overwhelmed? Tell them take a deep breath, and then we're going to go back to their planning checklist. I want them to be able to visually see how much progress they've made and to be able to see what comes next. And I think the biggest thing with overwhelm is you want to be cautious not to give yourself so many options. So when your planner recommends specific vendors for you and they've narrowed it down to two or three choices, know that they've already done the pre-qualifying for who they think would be a good fit for you. So the best way to overwhelm yourself is interviewing multiple vendors in multiple categories. If you're working with a planner, please trust your planner in the selections that they pre-qualified for you and go with those options and trust your gut. Okay, last question. What's the most chaotic thing that's happened to you at work? Well, if I'm gonna answer this honestly, and I out of respect for my team, I won't go into details, but I think the and I'll try not to cry. But the very hardest day I ever had as an owner of this wedding planning company was a day where we had two weddings going on. And um, one of our planners tested positive for COVID, and this was during, you know, this was 2021. So we know we needed to be very obviously very cautious and respectful with that. And then I had another planner actually lose her parent um the morning of the wedding, unexpectedly. So as the owner, I had to figure out how I can be in multiple places at one. The other really hard part was normally we have we don't we have a larger team now, but back then our lead planners, two of them weren't even in town. So my initial backup support wasn't available. So I took on one of the weddings. It was I took on the harder of the two. And when I say harder, it was just it was a higher service collection and it was at a private residence. And private resident weddings are very intense because you're essentially assuming the role of the venue and the planner. Those were very, very logistically challenged weddings. And then I was able to call upon one of my dear best friends in the industry. Shout out to Andrea Leslie, Andrea Leslie Weddings, who came in day of. I handed over my paperwork to her, and she brought that wedding day to life beautifully for our sweet couple. And I was oh so gracious and oh so thankful. So that was probably the question was chaotic. I wouldn't say it was chaotic, it was just a really hard, hard, hard day. And our job was to protect our couple's experiences, and they, you know, we we obviously didn't share what was happening behind the scenes because we wanted them to have their day. But uh that was the hardest day. Let's end on maybe and one more question. One more question. Let's end on a on a happier note. Okay. Um, what do you think makes you really good at your job? Oh, I love event planning. I love event planning. I always, always have. Um when I was in school, when I was in junior high, high school, I was obsessed with the school dances and the school pep assemblies. And I didn't really know why. I wasn't so much into school politics. What interested me was being the event planner for these events. And I knew if I held leadership roles, I could have a say in what the themes were and what the entertainment was and how the vibe was. And um, that's really where my love of creating events started. And I still love it. I love the creation process. I love that an event can be anything you make it. I love ideas that aren't the norm. Um, I love making people feel an emotion when they enter a space. It's I think it's the coolest part of what of what I get to do for sure. All right, my love. I finish every podcast with a question that I'm gonna let you answer. And you have zero preparation for it. Are you ready? Yes. All right, Emma Louise. The name of this podcast is more than just a wedding. And you, my darling, help me name this podcast. Do you remember that? Yes, you're the inspiration in this. So, Emma, what does the term more than just a wedding mean to you at the age of 13 as you sit in your mom's little planning office here? Um, well, I thought that the that the name would suit you well because I know how you love to like to pour your heart into it, and like how you oftentimes when she has weddings, she gets really sad after it because it was such a great experience for her, and how she like pours way more into it than it needs to be, and that's why I came up with more than just a wedding because she gives it her all and does such a good job at it. Wow, that was really nice. Thank you, baby. Yeah. All right, this concludes this week's episode. Thank you so much for listening. I hope some of this information was helpful. Emma, thank you for being my guest. I love you very much. We'll see you next time. Bye. You've been listening to more than just a wedding with Jennifer Starr. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to follow and share it with a friend. Until next time, real people, real moments, respected budgets.