Why Most Christians Struggle to Pray

In this episode of Everyday Radical, David Platt and Austin Huang discuss prayer as God’s primary means for intimacy with his people.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Welcome to Everyday Radical, a podcast where we help the everyday Christian follow Jesus and make him known everywhere. We pray that today's episode encourages you to do just that. So let's dive right in. What's up, David? How are you doing? Good, Austin. How are you, man? Good. You know, it's it's funny because we usually start with prayer off-camera before we jump into these episodes. But since we're talking about prayer today, why don't we just model that? So would you pray?

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yes. Uh uh, God, we pray all the time before these episodes that you would direct our thoughts, our words, um, and that you would bless every single person who listens to this and you would use it all for their good, for our good, for your glory. You would draw us closer to yourself. So we we pray over that right now. Uh, please lead our speaking. Please keep us aligned with your word and your spirit, and please lead listening in ways that draw us closer to you, especially as we talk about prayer. This amazing privilege we have right now that we're speaking to you, God, and you're listening to us, and promise to answer us according to what we ask for in your word. Uh so yes, may it be so we pray in Jesus' name who makes all this possible. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Amen. Okay, that right there that we just modeled, that you just prayed for us to to a lot of people who maybe are new in the faith, maybe they don't they aren't past that point of giving their life to Christ yet, they might listen to that prayer and think it's just like if God is sovereign, as you say, then why do you need to pray? What's the point of asking God for things, talking to him? If God is this ultimate creator being who is in control of everything, then what's the point?

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Yeah, man, that's that's a good question. That I I think, yeah, I'm guessing most of us wrestle with that. Like, not just as he's if he's sovereign this, if he already knows all things, like what am I it's like prayers? Am I informing the omniscient God of the universe? Right. So I I would say on the sovereignty piece, uh God ordains ends and means. So uh, yes, God has a will he's accomplishing in this world, and he's willed to accomplish those things through the prayers of his people. Like I always think about uh well, uh Exodus 32 is one of the best passages for this, um, because um Moses prays for God's people who are experiencing his judgment and God's saying, They deserve my judgment. Moses intercedes for God's people, and God, it says in I think it's Exodus 32, 14, God relents of the judgment he was going to pour out in response to Moses' prayer. Now, that's not like Moses changing God's mind. God hadn't thought about that. Oh, okay, well, because you said that, I'll do this. It's God was God willed to save his people from judgment, and he willed to do that through an intercessor, through Moses praying. And so our praying, we're actually joining with God in his will and what he's accomplishing in the world. All that means is that our prayers actually do matter. Like God acts in response to the prayers of his people, and that's that's huge. Like, if we actually believe that, we'll pray a lot more. But to your point, like if we just think, well, God's gonna do whatever he does, regardless of whether I pray, then we're gonna be like, well, prayer is kind of meaningless in that sense, which it when it's not true. Like God wills to work in the world according to the prayers of his people. I think also about all the different passages where we see, like in Exodus, uh, God did according to the word of Moses. That's amazing. Just that statement. And to think, wow, that God might do according to my word today. Now that obviously is all filtered by, thankfully, through his wisdom and his power and his love, he doesn't do everything I ask him to do because I don't always know what's best, but but I can trust that God is hearing what I ask and God will work according to his wisdom and power and love, according to what I ask. That's that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

And I think you tee that up pretty perfectly of like, what if what if my prayer doesn't get answered the way that I want it to? Uh, I'm grateful personally for a lot of prayers that I have prayed that did not get answered. Um, but how do we reconcile that? Like, what's the what's the end goal of praying? Is it to improve ourselves? Is it to have communion with God? Are there multiple end goals of of prayer?

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Yeah, I I do think it's multiple. I think first and foremost, uh to realize the primary purpose of prayer is not to get something, but to know someone, to be with God. This is the primary purpose of prayer. Just think Psalm 27. One thing I asked, one thing I'm seeking after in prayer, that I may behold you in all your glory, that I may gaze upon you, that I may inquire of you in your temple. I just I want to see you, I want to know you more. And that's that's part of what I think about in Matthew 6, when Jesus says, uh, all these uh religious leaders and and religious people like keep eat uh keep heaping up all these words. And he says, your father already knows what you need before you ask him. So okay, apparently prayer is not for the purpose of informing God. Like he he already knows, he's omniscient, he knows everything. So God's not up and have like a notepad, like, okay, what'd you say? I didn't catch that, I didn't realize that. No, so apparently, so I think, yeah, we hear that, we think, well, okay, then what's the point? Well, the point is to be with him, to cast our cares on him, to intercede, much like we were talking about, for things in our own lives, for things in others' lives, for things in the world. And as we commune with God in this way, so now you get into multiple dimensions, yes, it's to know him and to participate with him and what he's doing in the world. I think about Elijah in 1 Kings chapter 18. At the end of that, well, first when he calls down fire from heaven, like God does that in response to Elijah praying. Like God didn't just send the fire, God waited, and it was Elijah's prayer that caused fire to call for call from heaven. And the same thing happens at the end of that chapter. It's Elijah's prayer, and he keeps pressing in, like persevering in prayer until rain comes from the sky after a drought for years. Like that's all in response to prayer. So, yes, we're we're growing in communion with God, we're participating with God and what he's doing in the world. This is man, even as we're talking about this, and just a fresh weight of my own art, like this is amazing. Yeah. The privilege, the joy, the honor, the power that's involved in prayer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Yeah. I I I love Psalm 16, 11. I feel like we've referenced that a million times on the podcast. But I the fullness of joy is found in the presence of God. Um, and something I've been reflecting on in my own prayer life, which honestly, like I would love your perspective, encouragement, advice on how to improve this. But what I've what I've found interesting is that I'm reading through the gospel accounts and I'm noticing that Jesus would distance himself after doing ministry, healing people, he would go away to go be with the Father. And something that the Lord has been putting on my heart is like, hey, like, inquire upon me, like what did what did Jesus actually pray? I'm like, I've never thought about that before. Like, did Jesus go and spend time with the Father and you know talk about all these things that he was was on his mind, or did he just sit in silence? And so I I would love your perspective on what is what does a good prayer life look like?

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Man, there's a lot there. Uh I oh I don't know what does a good prayer life look like? Well, I think it one, it looks like to your point, and what Jesus says in Matthew 6, it involves uh concentrated time alone with the Father. So, yes, we pray continually, like all the time. This is one of the things I love most about uh I just think about one mentor in my life. I can't remember if we talked about this, but um, he just was in constant conversation with God, this older brother in Christ. We'd be walking down the sidewalk and he's like, he would just we're talking, and then he'd be like, Father, we pray for that. And then he'd go back to talking to me. Like he was just, he was in constant conversation with God. So that I love that that continual prayer that happens all the time, and certainly when we pray together, but Jesus says, go in your room, close the door, pray to your father's unseen, and your father sees what is done in secret, will reward you. So a healthy prayer life does a lot time to where you're just alone with the father. And uh, and and this is where I I really believe the most important part of our life is the part nobody else sees, just alone with God, just being with him. And I do think that involves times in solitude, just or in silence, just listening, certainly in reading his word and then meditating on his word. But I I when I picture Jesus alone with the Father, like I remember he goes to spend time alone with the Father, and then he calls his disciples. Like this was a this is a major moment that he's about to invite this select group of people to follow him. Like I don't know exactly what that conversation looked like, but I I think it was maybe something like Father, who are you who who am I supposed to call? I I wanna and I pray for this person, I pray for this person, like he's interceding for them, just like we see in John 17. Like he does show us one glimpse of his of how Jesus prayed. We've got a prayer from Jesus there, and he's praying for those disciples, he's praying for us. Like it's amazing. We're getting a glimpse into how he prays. So I think it is Jesus, and this is amazing in the Trinity, uh, the Son experiencing communion with the Father, the Son submitting his will to the Father. Certainly we see him praying, not my will, but yours be done. So that should certainly be a part of our prayer lives. Um uh just saying submission to him and then interceding for others, uh asking for help in this way or that way. That's where the son, I do believe, was asking help from the Father, and certainly in the way we do. And then then I just think about uh Jesus' cleared, very direct instructions to us when you pray, pray like this. Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done. Uh in heaven, give us a stay our daily bread, and forgive us our our debts as we forgive those who uh sin against us or uh uh and lead us not in temptation, like um, but deliver us from evil. Like this picture of okay, prayer, our healthy prayer life is worshipful, is submissive, it's thankful, it's interceding, it's uh petitioning for help and guidance, um, it's asking our hearts to be conformed to his heart, like all those things. Man, that's a valuable use of our time. Like I I really don't think we can yeah, I know we cannot thrive in following Jesus without that kind of time alone with him in prayer. Yeah, yeah. And Jesus obviously models this for us, shows it if the son of God needed this time, certainly sons and daughters of God need this.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yeah, I completely forgot about John 17. Like that's a because I I when I thought about it, I'm like, okay, Lord's prayer, that one's very deranged. But in John 17, talking about the unity amongst us would show the glory of God to come one day. Yes. Um and and what a glimpse.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

I I do love that because it's such a glimpse into uh the dynamic between God the Son and God the Father, him talking to the Father and and what he prays for us, how he uh yeah, just how that communion even within the Trinity looks. And then to think, I mean, that's part of the point, really, in a lot of those, uh, yeah, a lot of John 14 through 17. It's a lot about just our being invited into this intimacy with God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. Like we're being invited into as the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Remain in my love. Like this is the Son remaining in the Father's love. We remain in the Son's love. This is a yeah, what a picture of what we've been invited into.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

And I think it's fascinating that scripture also says that the spirit intercedes on our behalf with groanings too deep for words, and that Jesus lives to make intercession for us. So just to think about like if I'm struggling in my prayer life, I have the Spirit of God and the Son of God helping me pray to the Father. How cool is that?

SPEAKER_01 14:24

Yes, that's amazing. I can't remember who it was who said, like, I can do anything, I can take on whatever the world throws at me if I believe that Jesus is interceding for me at every moment. Man, and that's that's man. I just without yeah, diving into all the specifics, just through some challenges recently, um trials and life, um that specific doctrine or just truth, that reality, that uh the spirit is interceding for me, the son is interceding for me. There, there's a reason why, right after Paul says that in Romans 8, he says, if God's for us, who can who can be against us? Actually, it's right before that. But this is this is emboldening that as you're walking through things. I what Hebrews 7, he lives to intercede for us. That's amazing. Today, Jesus lives to intercede for me, for you, for anybody listening to this who knows him as Savior and Lord, Jesus. He's not just sitting at the right hand, kind of watching or the Father, watching what's going on. He is living to intercede for us, to provide for us everything we needed, every moment we need it. That's that that'll that'll change your perspective on uh it's not that it makes it makes trials easy, but you realize, well, I'm I'm not alone. I've got I've got the son of God interceding for me, I've got the spirit putting into yeah, groaning for me when in ways that words can't even express.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Yeah. I know there's not like a set percentage of like, okay, here's how many prayers I should pray for myself, for my family, for my friends, for the world, for the nations. But what's like can you walk me through your routine, like your your daily prayer? Like I know pray constantly, like pray without ceasing throughout your day, but also the set aside alone time with God, like what does that look like for you in prayer?

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Yeah. Um, so yeah, my my time with the Lord each morning. It's first thing I do. And um I would say uh the first part of that time, it usually starts with just in a Psalm 27 kind of way. Just God, I seek you, I want to know you, just I praise you. Uh uh pretty consistently, just thanksgiving as I'm looking back at the day before. God, thank you for this yesterday, thank you for that. Yeah, like tomorrow morning, like thank you, Frostin. Thank you for your grace and him, like thank you for the conversation we had. Like, I so it just fixing my eyes on him. And then I usually go into uh uh and I'll I'll reflect on the day before. Yeah, I'll usually do that, and I'm usually journaling when I do this. And so I'll be writing out, just I'm doing on uh computer, but uh I'll just be writing out, hey, this happened yesterday, and then that'll lead me to pray for some different things. So had recorded with Austin yesterday, and uh God, I pray for a blessing on him. I pray for your blessing on that podcast that it would be uh encouragement. So I kind of reflect on the day, pray through the day, right? I'd be writing down things that God taught me through that. And so I'm praying based on that. Then usually I transition from that into Bible reading. So as I'm praying through, as I'm reading through the Bible, I'm doing, I mean, pray the word, that podcast is like just kind of the it's a little glimpse into the overflow of so what I'll I'll I'll read a verse, I'm meditating on it. Um, and I won't do this with every single verse that I read in in multiple chapters, but but I'll I'll write it out or copy and paste it and then just write a prayer based on it. And usually that oftentimes that'll start with like I think about uh Jude, I was reading this morning. Uh so now to the one who is able to keep you from stumbling. So I'm I I write that out and I'm like, God, please keep me from stumbling. I I need your help. I am tempted to stumble all the time. So I need, and then I'll I'll usually kind of if I if you almost kind of think about it as a broadening circles, then I, God, please keep my wife from stumbling. God, please keep, I just pray that over each of my kids for my kids. I'll pray for other people in my life that uh just co-laborers in the gospel that and then I'll pray for the members of our church. God, please keep the members of our church family from stumbling today. Um and so that that kind of that's how it kind of it usually does start with praying for this in my own life. Sometimes it'll be like immediately my mind's going to, I don't want to pray this for somebody else, but it'll usually start in my own life and then broaden out. So there's a that's pretty common. Um and uh yeah, so reading the word, praying based on the word, and then after all that, then I have a uh I have I call it a prayer journal, but I guess it's not I don't journal it every day. It's basically more like a guide. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I have specific things I pray for for uh like my family. I got tons of things I want to pray for my kids, my wife. So I've just tried to divide them up, at least five different groups. So I've got things I pray for for them. I'll usually pray uh there's people that I'm sharing life with most closely. I'll pray for those same things or similar things over them, uh, for the members of our church. And then I've got different people I pray for on different days, different things in the world I pray for, peace in the world on this day, uh uh freedom from slavery, uh those trafficking in the world, uh, wars in the world. I'll pray certainly for unreached people each day. Um, I'll pray for different facets of the church. Uh so anyway, I've just kind of taken all the things I want to consistently pray for and I've divided it into five days to where not that I don't pray on Saturday and Sunday. I just don't use the prayer guide in the same way on those days. And some people might say, well, that just feels like a man, it feels rote, which it can become, but I I look at it more as it feels intentional. Like I really want to pray. I want to make sure to pray uh for my children's spouses and their if if the Lord leads them to get married or they're thriving in singleness, and I want to lead, I want to pray for their kids and their kids' kids. So every Friday, I want to be intentional to pray for that. If that sounds rote, I'm okay with that. Like I want to intentionally pray for that. I also want to pray for their hunger for the word. I want to pray for, I mean, uh, the list is long, so I want to make sure to be intentional to pray for those things.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

And if we do believe that God actually hears those prayers, then sure, if it's, you know, every other week it's like the same thing, the same thing. So like that means that God is hearing your prayers and he wants like because he loves you, he's gonna hear those and he's gonna take them into account. And and like that's just his loving nature is to hear you. And I think that's something that you you touched on is like the repetition, I feel like turns a lot of people off. Which, like, why? Like, there's this whole controversy, and I don't know, we don't have much time to get into it, but it's like some people are saying don't pray the Lord's prayer, others are saying like you have to pray. I'm like, Y'all, like Jesus, Jesus is modeling this for us, so it must be good. Yeah, I don't think Jesus said you have to pray this every single day. Like it's not that level of a command, but he's saying pray like this. So if you're saying don't pray like this, I don't think that's I don't think that's what Jesus wants. Um, and yeah, yeah, I think that he wants us to pray it, at least to some extent.

SPEAKER_01 21:57

Like, why? I mean, I uh your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as in heaven. Like, I want to pray that all the time. Like your kingdom, your will be done in my life, your will be done in this person's life, your will be done in the church, your will be done among the nations. Like to pray that all the time. And that's where I do think uh that uh intentional time in the morning. So I think uh yeah, concentrated time and and intentional time that way, I think helps fuel the continual time in prayer all day long, just the as you go praying. I I'm definitely more in tune with the spirit of God and walking in continual prayer throughout the day if I spend that time in the morning. If periodically I miss that time in the morning, like it, I can definitely tell a difference throughout the rest of the day. And uh, and then I do think it's helpful to like close the day with okay, looking back, just praying, thanking God, praying for things that are heavy in your heart before you go to to sleep. Um, so but that that kind of intentionality built in. And I say all this, bro. Uh I have so far to go, so much to learn. I I yeah, I I've repent of uh prayerlessness often. Like I just uh and I'm not just saying that like I have so so far to go. I think of yeah brothers and sisters in Christ who I know who whose example beckons me to go deeper and deeper and deeper on a daily basis. So anyway, I just uh as we're talking about this the last thing I want to do is come across is like some expert on prayer. That that's not that's not true.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Yeah. I know I did not come up with this but something that's been resonating with me is like praying this praying the prayer of Lord let my never let my public ministry outgrow my private intimacies. And if I did coin that then that's awesome. But I think I did.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Well yes but it's true. Well just like yes and even just not even ministry like public life. Yeah I can't remember the way you put it in your mastery that quote uh or that you made that just made up public ministry outgrow my private intimacy with God. Even public life outgrow my private intimacy with God. Just just that what happens and that's really what it's intended to be right uh abide in me remain in me I remain you and you'll bear fruit so that that'll that'll bear fruit in public but you the focus is on remaining in me not on bearing fruit. And so I just man uh but we're we there's an adversary who does not want us to experience intimacy with God. And so we have to be vigilant. We have to work hard um but not not like work hard because you're trying to earn brownie points before God. Like what that that obviously misses the whole point. But work hard like marriage is hard work. That's really good work as as you experience intimacy with a spouse. Yes like all the more so with God yes it takes work and intentionality and diligence and I mean Paul's like fighting the fight of faith um and it is a fight it's a battle um but it is worth it like it's it's uh man just the thought that Austin you I anybody listen to this even if somebody was listening to this they didn't know Jesus they can know Jesus invites them into relationship with him that we can experience intimacy with God like that this morning I was meeting with God I got a meeting with God that's that's no offense better than sitting down with you for a podcast like I met with God and he he was listening to me as I'm pouring out my heart to him and he was talking to me like I heard his voice today and I know it's his voice it was straight from his word like uh that's that's that's amazing yeah it's amazing yeah one last thought on on anything that you would encourage somebody who is wanting to increase their prayer life what what would you say to them? Oh man I I I I'll just use the the super practical I hope it's practically and helpful uh we use in our church family uh and I I definitely didn't come up with this but uh the pray acrostic P-R-A-Y so praise repent ask yield there's other acrostic acts other things but praise repent ask yield so I would just say uh get alone with God close the room close the doors so just you and God and spend just camp out on each of those pee praise just praise him and and the more time you can set aside the better so maybe it's 10 minutes 20 minutes aim for 30 minutes or or more like and just and don't rush like pee praise just start praising God for who he is thanking God for what he's done turn on a song and sing to God like yeah just belt it out before him nobody else in the room that's the beauty like so praise him get on your knees and just be with him then are repent just ask God God what what in my life is not pleasing to you where where can I grow to become more like Jesus he'll he'll show you he'll show you just yeah and then just listen uh and then a ask just think okay what what what do I want to ask for in my life what do I want to ask for in others' lives and obviously the more we're in the word that'll lead us in what we should be asking for but but just cry out to God um and then at the end of all that why yield just not my will but yours be done your will be done in my life on earth as it is in heaven um I trust you with my life today lead me in my life today like that time um it it uh will you'll get to the point where it'll fly by yeah and you'll be like oh I gotta I yeah I gotta move on but I I really would rather stay here like um but I just just set aside some time to P-R-A-Y to pray and uh Jesus guarantees you there's reward waiting for you with the Father when you set aside time to pray.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

So good. Thanks so much for joining us today on Everyday Radical. If this episode stirred your heart for Christ and his mission our hope is that you would check out some of our previous episodes as well and do not forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on what's ahead. Let's keep making Jesus known everywhere together. See you next time