WORLD CUP ETC - DISCUSSION: WC Themed Board Games

Paul Schmidt-Troschke, Declan Link & Jon Bonfiglio reunite to discuss the pressing issue of World Cup-themed board games. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Everyone, welcome back to World Cup etc. Where today all three Musketeers are present in central Mexico. There's me, John Bonfiglio, over in western Mexico. Living the dream is Paul Schmidt-Troschka. Sand between his toes. And over on America's East Coast in Orlando is the living legend that is Declan Link. Declan, you always come across as remarkably balanced, sanguine, and even tempered. Who's your therapist?

SPEAKER_04 0:56

I pay a lot of money. I have multiple therapists. It takes a lot to get me to be nice and sanguine as you just described me.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

Good. I'm glad that it's not, it doesn't just happen naturally, but that it requires significant uh percentage investments of uh of your um of income. Uh gents, today we've come together because of breaking news that ahead of the World Cup, serious news this, there are already themed board games being released, including World Cup Monopoly and Connect 4. For Connect 4, the variation is called Connect 4 Shots, which I'm not sure is a great name given its uh its potential, the fact that it could be mistaken with um with alcohol shots, but nevertheless, connect four shots is essentially connect four, but with more, apparently, unpredictability and theatrics. It's a game for two or more players. What was my initial reaction? How can you have connect four more than two players? And these players will simultaneously fireballs into the board with hopes of getting four in a row. It apparently comes with cleat launches to kick into the board net. Don't get it, don't worry, neither do I. And for Monopoly, instead of buying property and driving all of your friends into bankruptcy, that classic uh 20th and 21st century game, this iteration features the ability to build a team. The way to win is apparently simple. Be the first to collect three sets of players. Again, I have no idea. And given the confusion that I felt at reading these descriptions of these two uh classic ubiquitous board games, it got me to thinking, Jaclan and Paul, that we could do better. So here we are to discuss our own World Cup, etc. notions of variations on board games ahead of the World Cup. Uh Paul, did you come across? Have you had any ideas as to any board games that we could um that we could co-opt into um devising World Cup variations alongside?

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Oh, definitely. Um one which uh which I found to be appropriate, of course, is Risk, but um of course not to conquer the world, but uh as a FIFA host selection edition. So for those pe uh for those um listeners who don't know the game Risk, it's uh you have uh to place armies um um on on the board, it's it's the the map of the world, and you have to conquer the world against other players. But instead of armies here, you um can place lobbyists, very powerful, of course, uh cash briefcases, also very nice, um lucrative construction um contracts, broadcast rights, and diplomatic favors to try to win over um a host country. And uh then uh instead of territories, um you have uh FIFA confederations, you have key voting countries um and uh uh media organizations to uh win them over to um yeah give you give you some good good PR and uh hopefully of course uh the necessary votes in the um in the voting session then. And then of course you have uh you have some some wild cards. So for example, you can host uh a FIFA meeting at a at a five-star resort with um maybe with a safari, with a helicopter flight, something like this. And the effect is that this steals two votes from another player. Um and another one, of course, which everybody loves, is infrastructure presentation. Um you show a dramatic stadium video render to um to help people imagine uh what what great work um this this or her or his vote could lead to. And this of course gains you three votes because you you impress impress the the people who will vote in the end. Yeah, so um the this uh of course you can uh could could actually make a game out of this. Um, but this this was my idea. Um yeah, to co-opt the legendary board game Risk into um into a FIFA edition.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Yeah, it sort of feels as though risk risk Risk is the um is the classic game at the moment which combines not only geopolitics but also uh footballing uh domination. So yeah, I think it's it's a fairly obvious one to um um given current events to to link across to the World Cup and current international context. Um Declan, what did you uh uh devise?

SPEAKER_04 6:01

Well, obviously, unlike you two boffins, I was out playing football all the time when I was a kid. I uh was probably deprived. I'm very familiar with many board games, although I'm not that familiar with risk. I've just uh you've just educated me. But I was busy playing football, doing sports, and climbing trees. So I didn't really play many board games when I was growing up as a lad, but I did do some exhaustive research overnight, and uh I wanted to uh to tie five games, board games that you two know very well, into uh the World Cup history. And uh in no particular order, um, there's actual specific moments in specific World Cup tournaments that you can probably relate the board games to the moments that happened. So, in no particular order. Uh the first one is chess. I do know how to play chess, I'm not very good at it, but but ultimately um the 1970 FIFA World Cup final, when uh Brazil scored their fourth goal, very iconic, famous goal scored by Carlos Alberto, was after a sweeping team move orchestrated by our friend Pelle, which felt like a perfectly calculated checkmate. So uh tying it into the chess analogy, Brazil didn't just beat Italy in 1970, they checkmated them. So there you go. How do you like that one? The second one is in the 1974 FIFA World Cup in West Germany, which we'll be covering next week on the podcast. That board game analogy is with poker. Again, a game I'm not that familiar with, but one that uh uh relates to um the famous Johann Croif, often felt like a I guess a master poker player, bluffing with positions and disguising his intent until the decisive move uh on football pitch in West Germany. So the uh the central line I found from that one was watching the Dutch in 1974 was like watching someone play poker with the entire football world. Uh the third board game that uh after my exhaustive research is a very familiar game, snakes and ladders, and it relates to 1982, and a game that we've already covered pre previously um within the within our podcast, in this horrendous game between West Germany and Austria, um, what which is controversially called the disgrace of Hihon, where both teams settled for a result, a draw that eliminated the Algerian national football team. And um for Algeria, Spain 82 felt like snakes and ladders. The ladder was the qualification, the snake was Hihon. Um, so the last two games I've sort of tied into this conversation today is uh what you were talking about, Paul Richard's risk, which I'm not that familiar with, where teams advanced in 1990 in Italy cautiously. Remember, we talked about it being a very cautious defensive tournament. They were defending territory and waiting for opportunities, as in like a military exercise, and it particularly the West Germany national team who, as you said, Paul, uh the phrase you use was conquered the tournament, and that's what they did. It wasn't a free-flowing tournament, it was a risk, risk-played tournament with tactics where West Germany ultimately conquered the tournament. And then the ultimate game, uh, which I can definitely relate to because I have played a lot of this, is the 1986 uh World Cup in Argentina, which was Diego Maradona's World Cup. And the game, the board game related to that is Monopoly, where Maradona dominated the tournament so completely it felt like he owned every square on the Monopoly board. So in Mexico 86, Maradona owned the tournament the way that someone who owns Monopoly who's bought boardwalk and park place and all expensive properties. So um, as I said, that's my input on today's conversation tying World Cups to board games, John Applaw.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

That is a uh a completely unique take on board games and the world cup. Declan, somewhere between poetic and an academic uh thesis, it disturbs me that you kept using the term exhaustive research um there. What what what does exhaustive research mean for for Declan Link? What is what does it look like?

SPEAKER_04 10:53

Uh it means like if again, if you use the analogy of uh football, um I'm effectively for the podcast like a box-to-box midfield player. I never stop running, I use up all my energy, I make sure I leave no stone unturned so that we can come at these different topics from different angles. And you know, if it means I'm sleep deprived, it means I'm sleep deprived. The end product is our podcast as we continue to get thousands of global uh downloads. Um, you have to put your heart and soul into it. So that's the analogy with foot.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

I'm uh I'm glad I asked you at the top of the at the top of the show about therapy because this has been a slightly unusual and disturbing window into your into your brain, uh Declan. But much appreciated. As you were talking, Declan, it struck me that actually uh top trumps for World Cups could be really could you remember the card game where you had the different stats and you would give a stat uh and then win the other person's cards? So either for World Cups as in general, which with each card having a um a focus on a World Cup's a number of teams or something like that, or each individual World Cup could actually also have um its particular top trumps. I bet there's something like out there uh that already exists. Um the other one which uh which struck me was do you remember Operation? Did you ever play Operation as a kid? As kids?

SPEAKER_04 12:14

Uh again, I I think I led a deprived um life when I was a son. I was out there doing stuff all the time, unlike you two students who were conscious often stuck inside like studying and doing board games. You must remember Operation Paul.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Oper operation? Um doesn't ring a bell.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Okay, so so so just imagine this. So operation is basically the board game is a patient. So you've got the figure of a patient, and then you've got various the patient has various holes in his body, and then you put in the kidney or the knee bone or whatever it might be, or an elbow, and then um, and it's connected to a battery, and you've got some tweezers. And what you had to do with operation is you had to remove the particular bit of during the operation of the patient without your tweezers touching the metal edge strip of the body. And if it did, then the red light would come up. I think it was on his nose or something like that, and you would lose and pass over to the next player. And and there were uh there were uh different shaped bits uh that you had to remove, which were uh in in ongoing difficulties, let's say. Um uh really, I don't know how it's a game, which um which gained international prominence, although perhaps not that much in international prominence, given that neither of you have have heard of it. But it struck me that we could actually have one uh which related to specifically to football injuries, in which you could build a team of your favorite players who have chronic uh injuries, obviously hamstrings would um would would uh would feature pretty pretty highly uh in those. And uh based on how successful you were with with removing or improving different injuries, you could build your World Cup team uh as a result. And then the other one um which struck me, which technically is not a board game, so it uh I'm cheating a little bit, um, but uh I think is going to give us all a lot of pleasure is whack-a-mole. Surely you all know. Uh Paul and Declan, you you've heard of Wac-Amole?

SPEAKER_00 14:19

I haven't heard of Wac-Amole.

SPEAKER_04 14:21

John, I think you've got two people on this uh podcast who've got gearing headlights right now. They don't know what the heck you're talking about, they don't know what language you're talking about.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

Okay, so whack-a-mole. Wacamole is you've got us you've got a club. So you've got a sort of caveman's club, and then there's various holes in front of you. And as you begin, it starts slowly. So uh so a mole in the garden pops its head up, and then you smack the mole. It's quite a violent game.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Uh, I've seen it on on Ferris and stuff, yes.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

There you go, and then it goes back into the into the hole. Thank you, Paul. Um, and um, and so as you get better and better at it, then more moles crop up with increasing rapidity, and it becomes uh sort of a faster, faster game of reflexes. Anyway, so my thought was that we could actually devise a whole whack-a-mole game with Gianni Infantino's head cropping up out of the holes. Um, just that that would be its own kind of therapy, I think, declining, at least for me, of sort of spending five minutes a day, perhaps at moments of high stress, just pressing play on the whack-a-mole and um and just going to town with a club and Gianni Infantino's uh head for a period of time. I think there's although obviously we'd get sued for it, but I think there would definitely be some international uptake for a game such as uh Wacker Gianni.

SPEAKER_00 15:41

I I'm delighted by your idea.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

I I second that I second that motion.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

Well, I'm delighted that we've done this little uh this this conversation about board games and relating it to um to the World Cup, given the fact that uh apparently board games don't exist for German children, uh Paul. And Declan, as he has continually told us through the uh through the recording, was far too busy out playing healthy sporting games, whilst it turns out that little old bookish me was sat in a dark room uh contemplating board games. So thanks so much for your amazing 360-degree participation in the trauma of my childhood.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Very welcome.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

Thanks, John. Thanks, Paul.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

Thank you so much, guys.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

All right, take care, both of you. Speak soon.