Episode 21: Friction, Friction, Friction

Friction showed up as a door opener for me today. And I used it as such to record another episode and explore how events - small and big - can reveal so much in us and for us. What happens in us when things don't go to plan, when we have no answers, when what we do doesn't seem to yield the results we hoped for? How can we meet the moment as it is and be with it? It was intriguing to bring this topic and a minor irritation and to notice the fog around it dissipate more and more as I could meet it as what it was, and become aware of what was at play under the surface. I hope this episode brings a new perspective or sense of presence for you as you go through your day and week. 

I’d love to hear from you. Reach out at irina@irinapashina.com, on LinkedIn, or visit irinapashina.com to learn more about my work as a coach, mentor, supervisor, facilitator, and speaker.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of reflection and connection. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello and welcome. Welcome to Begin Anywhere. My name is Irina Pashina and I'm here to hold space. To hold space for all of us where we can begin anywhere with less script and more presence. Thank you for joining me. Hello and welcome to episode 21 of Begin Anywhere. Thank you for being here with me. I am choosing uh an irritating moment to record today. Perhaps you can hear it in my voice, and I'm noticing a pace that's different. It's like the words really want to come out of my mouth as quickly as possible, and I'm trying my best to paste them differently. I'm choosing a tiny irritation today to record from, to create from, and to make meaning out of. And in the first five minutes, I noticed that I was calm and waiting and thinking that there must be something in the way. In the following five minutes, I was getting a bit more agitated, and as we reached minute 14 of the meeting, a scheduled meeting, I was getting a little tense, and noticing how so many thoughts were going through my mind of why and what could have happened to this person, and was it a technical issue? Was it something in their life that was in the way? Was it what was it? What was it? I'm still sitting with this question, and the very first dominant feeling was irritation and even a bit of anger. Why it was clearly a time that worked for them. Why didn't they show up? Then a different sense came in, the sense of connection, empathy, wanting to understand and be there for someone else. And more and more of what was underneath was becoming clearer to me. I could see it more clearly. How much I value connection, how much I value commitment, how much I value my work, how important it is to me to show up and in service of others, and also my own gifts to the world. I still don't know what happened, and at the same time, I'm noticing that I'm letting go of the need to know. And what's coming more and more is the sense of being with the sense of being with the events that happen in our lives, that happen to us, with us, through us, and they do happen for us. And in some ways, potentially it was a gift. It gave me time for something else, and part of this something else is recording this episode. And I'm not trying to think through it logically or find a positive spin around it. There is still clearly an irritation within me, and also an observer quality. The observer looking at myself and my experience in this very moment, and simply being with it. This is just an instance, an example of something small, and I am realizing how really life-changing it is to be an observer to our own lives in bigger moments as well, in moments of big change, of shifts that are unexpected or expected, and stir up so much in us. And in some ways, perhaps there is even a connection between the quote-unquote small and big experiences and moments in our lives. Maybe the small experiences could be a mirror of something, something else that we experience at the same time, or we have experienced and are still processing. It's this endless curiosity that I'm I'm sitting with here. Curiosity about life unfolding in so many tiny bigger and overwhelmingly significant ways. And just within minutes of being with what is, the experience shifted, perhaps it even shifts in every second. My core intention with bringing this to you, to the podcast, was to show. And in the last ten, fifteen minutes I've really experienced this shift of deeper connection, more acceptance. And taking labels off. It just came out. And in the first second after I said it, I I was a bit confused. What does label have to do with it? And it has so much to do with it. How would our day feel like if we didn't have a label? And we always have labels, we always have certain associations and have something that's pleasant, irritating, unpleasant, joyful, and it can be anything, but and what if what we experience is an experience, period, and we can be with it. And I realize that is not simple, and perhaps it is simple, but it's not easy. And it does require a lot to be able to be in this space of more acceptance, of returning to regulation, of deeper awareness. And part of me right now is even questioning what this does this even have any specific value. Is it just so abstract that it's hard to relate to? And I I trust I trust there was something that needed to come through me today, and it just so happened to be through a tiny irritation, and that opened the door for me to record an episode after a couple of weeks, a few weeks, because there was another irritation that was in the way. I was navigating a code and I couldn't hear very well. And as I'm talking about things that seemingly don't go the way we want them to go. Neither the code nor the instance with the meeting today that couldn't take place. And yet there is something in each and every experience we go through that is opening something in us, can open something in us, and potentially in the outer world as well. And I hope you're going through the events of your life with openness, curiosity, acceptance, and when not with these qualities that you can be with what is just the way it is. I wish that for me too, by the way. Um sending you my best wishes and thank you for being here. See you soon.