Ep 21 - Agree to Disagree.

Somewhere between opinions, algorithms and social media debates, disagreement started feeling personal.

In this episode of TwoPeas in a Pod, we unpack why it's okay to think differently, challenge perspectives, and still respect one another.

Because not every conversation needs to end with someone changing their mind.

Sometimes maturity is saying: "I hear you. I don't agree. And that's okay."

Tune in for a conversation on empathy, understanding, and the power of respectful disagreement.

Now streaming on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Find us here:
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:16

You don't need to actually think same to stay friends with someone or make a relationship work. But what you do need is emotional maturity, respect, and shared values. In today's episode, we're gonna discuss about something so important that every friendship, every relationship, every sibling dynamic, uh, WhatsApp groups and Instagram comment section, and I feel even family dinner needs. It's uh more like these days, people feel uh like they always think they're all right. Don't you think so?

SPEAKER_00 0:48

And if you disagree, it becomes war. Yeah, but it needn't be that way, right? Because maturity is not finding people who are just like you, but it's accepting that we all are different people with different opinions, and that's absolutely okay. Yes. Which brings us to today's topic. I agree to disagree. Respectfully, respectfully, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Yeah. So in today's topic of agreeing to disagreeing respectfully, I think, which is very, very essential. First thing what we're gonna talk about, I feel, is like why do people always take everything so personally?

SPEAKER_00 1:23

I know, right? Yeah, but it needed it most of the times they think okay, if you disagree with somebody, it means that you're disrespecting them. But disagreements are not disrespect, to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yeah, but also it's not even disrespect, you know. Sometimes you feel like when people disagree, they think it's like judgment. But opinions can be different because we're all different people having different experiences, we're different human beings.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Everything about us is different, and I think those differences need to be celebrated, and we should be so happy that we all see life differently. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

See, if if, say, for instance, you and I are standing on top of a mountain and looking at a sunrise, you might perceive it differently. I might perceive it differently. The experience will be the same. Yeah, you are watching a sunrise, but the way we perceive it, our takeaway from that will be entirely different.

SPEAKER_00 2:13

So, why can't that be in real life as well, you know? Exactly. But even then, even without agreement or disagreement, some people think that when you talk to a person, like especially in an argument, they think it's imperative to have a winner. But no, you don't need to win an argument. You don't need to win.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

And you don't need to feel like you're attacked, you don't need to feel like you're being attacked as well. Yeah. It's okay. I feel like when you sit down and have a conversation with someone, you need to go in there with an open mind.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

And it's not just because like someone is sitting there and having a conversation with you with a different perspective or a different opinion, it doesn't really mean that they are judging you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Doesn't mean that they're judging you, doesn't mean that what they say is true, but it's just an exchange of information, I feel. Yeah, whether you agree with it or not, just accept that hey, you know, this person has a different opinion. Yeah, and opinions need to take it personally. Why do people take it so personally?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

I think it's because mainly to do with a lot of like, you know, uh these days, I feel people take it so personally because first and foremost, there's so much information out there on social media, true, right? And opinions are always fewed out there on social media, and opinions kind of become like an identity these days, and it's like uh more than staying curious about something, people need to be right all the time. You don't need to be right all the time, and when you especially listen to another person's opinion, you need to go with a very, very open mind before, like you know, these people don't listen to give a reply, people listen to respond.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

No, they don't listen to respond, they listen to react. They don't respond.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

I think it's all the late night food that made me like, yeah, that's true. That is true. People listen to react, they do not listen to respond.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Exactly. But how about we meet each other at this common ground? Two people who have different opinions. We meet each other at a common ground, and they're like this is everything for me.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

And you don't believe in waking up at 5 a.m. for joy to go play tennis, and I'm okay with that, you know. I won't be judging her for it, right? So we need to come from a place like that, I feel, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Like yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah, and for the longest time you used to do yoga in a dark room with Tagarbati without sunlight. Do you remember that mom and me will always get up on your business?

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Meditate.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

You used to, like you so you had vitamin D deficiency and had to get weekly shots for it.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Oh my god. Are you okay? Definitely not because of that. I did with M and D and B dress shots. But I properly had a deficiency. Just because I meditate in a room without sunlight. And the other battle, yeah. Remember, mom when you have to make fun of it. I couldn't. In a dark room with other body, yoga.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

Yeah. I mean, I was see, no, you're not listening to respond. I listen to react. I have responded to you. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Okay, seriously. But yeah, I feel like people can have like different opinions about things, you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Yeah, you don't need to, but you know, I as much as I'd like to think that, yeah, you should have different opinions, and it's really okay, right? Yeah, but when it comes to friends, no, it's not like that. More than anything, more than relationships, it's tricky.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

No, like disagreement is immediately considered as disrespect and immediately it's considered as a judgment, and also the fact that there is no more, like there is no more emotional intelligence, it's only emotional reaction to everything that we say. But the in truth, disagreeing is not say like a real relationship is not based. I'm sorry, but I suddenly thought about what you did.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

What? And I'm thinking, oh my god, when I'm gonna see the lineup, I'm really gonna regret doing that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Right? Fine. But coming back to uh respect and disagreement. Yeah. Respect is not agreeing with everything you say. That is not respect. Respect is understanding the fact that you are saying some I hear you, although I see things differently. That is what respect is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

But then again, like that is how disagreement should be done as well. You should disagree with somebody by making sure that they don't feel that you're belittling their opinion. Yeah. You know, it's not that, you know, my opinion matters more than yours or what I'm saying is correct, not yours. It should more be more like, let's just understand that I stand by what I say, but that doesn't mean that I'm not trying to see your perspective. Yeah, of course. That's where respect comes. Because you don't understand the perspective, I think we should go out on a limb and be like if you really want to have a disagreement respectfully, you should ask the person, okay, where are you coming from? Like, can you explain?

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Why do you think that yeah, that literally brings me to the uh social etiquette point of disagreeing with somebody, right? Like when you are friends in a friendship, it's very important to have social etiquettes when you're disagreeing with somebody. Or even when you're picking a fight with somebody. Like, if you're going to have friends who just say the same things, agree with everything you say, it becomes nobody wants a clone for friends. If all your friends think the same, then it becomes an echo chamber. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

Everybody friends who challenge you, who bring different perspectives to you, because your friends should show you what you're missing, and you shouldn't be like, I can only be friends with someone who's exactly like me.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That just becomes an echo chamber. Yes, 100%. It just becomes like, oh, they're all just voicing your own opinion and stuff like that. But uh, that's the thing, right? So when we're in a setup of friends, and it's very important to understand that you cannot just call people out uh publicly and make them feel uh like so small, just to prove a point. This is where when you agree to disagree or when you have an opinion and somebody else has a different opinion, to make them feel little in front of others, or like that that is the social nuance that people miss sometimes. I feel just to sound intelligent, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Listen, you shouldn't like insult somebody or put somebody down publicly, especially when they are your friend, just to sound smarter, because that is only going to make you look dumb. Yeah, and so it's honestly very embarrassing. It's not nice. And I think you should really know where to draw the line, even if you disagree. You should know where to draw the line.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

You should know to like boundaries are very important when it comes to like disagreeing, and I think disagreeing in privacy is such an underrated quality. Yeah, it's so underrated to a point where nobody understands that just to sound smarter or just to sound intelligent, people like to like correct others or put others down. I feel there are certain social etiquettes when it comes to disagreeing, like you should read the room, you should know whom you're sitting with before you go up there and throw your opinions and force it down, and you can definitely not force your opinion on your friends. It's very important to understand that we are all different and we all have like these different opinions, and it's okay, you know, and that's where maturity comes in to know that your friends think differently from you, want thing other different stuff, like you know, uh Ipo say for instance if there is an opinion, there are so many friendships and relationships that have broken off because of that.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

So I feel like these days, right, where does this whole disrespect for disagreeing respectfully come from? Disrespect for disagreeing, disrespect like rather people are not bothered about disagreements and having the one minute. One minute, one minute. People can't care enough. Couldn't care less. People couldn't care less to just disagree and be like, you know what to hell with it. I don't agree, I disagree with you, that's it. I don't care where you're coming from, I don't care to be understood.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

That's absolute that's a different kind of sort of um maturity, emotional maturity, or like confidence by itself to know that you can say that okay, you are different, I disagree with you, and that's fine by me.

SPEAKER_00 11:04

I don't care, like you know, to me is okay, but saying hey, you don't need to see where I'm coming from. Similarly, I'm not gonna see where you're coming from either, but whatever you But I think that's fine too, don't you think?

SPEAKER_01 11:15

So instead of calling out someone or forcing your opinion on somebody force someone, but then you can be like But if I do not want to understand where you're coming from and I'm okay with my opinion and I don't want to challenge yours or make a big scene about it or make it so bitter, I think that's fine too, right? Like, as long as like you're not like you know calling people out under the name of honesty, or you know, you're just like being mean to them or like you know, brutally honest. Yeah, sometimes that's just brutality. Nobody discusses about clothing choices, music choices, whether Android is better than appropriate politics and religion. And religion, no. Like you cannot, like, especially at dinner tables, but you know what? But lately I've discussed a lot of politics.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

No, not like that.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

No, that is this amazing book that I read by Jonathan Hayde called The Righteous Mind.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

Clearly, I want to say this. I've discussed a lot of politics lately, and I've literally like been tiptoeing, you know, on the corner of burning bridges.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

No, but that's so sad, right? Like you should be able to see where the other person comes from. This is exactly what that book was about. I think you should. Anyone who loves to loves a good read, it was a slow read, but it did change my opinion about hearing another person's opinion on something as serious as politics or religion. The book is called Uh The Righteous Mind uh by Jonathan Hayde. It changed my perspective on how you are to listen to somebody.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

You haven't been sensitive about politics lately. All of us have been.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Yeah, we all have been sensitive about politics lately because given the climate of Tamil Nadu right now.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

But then but some of us choose to just have decent conversations, but the wars that's been going on on Instagram and Facebook and everything. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Like, you know, that's that's also we should like understand where some people come from. It's okay to have those discussions if you're not challenged in life the or in opinions like that. How how does it make anything interesting? And especially with the climate that you are but that we are in, you were the one who said that. This is somebody who's going out there and setting up their administration for the first time ever. So that's why the curiosity around the whole thing is, and it's okay to be obsessing about that kind of like you know, administration or anything like that, but to be challenged, that's fine too. But we're not gonna get into that and discuss about my opinion because this podcast is not like that, but still, like you know, you should like understand where somebody else is coming from, is very important. But in Instagram, I think it's become like an identity for people, you know, opinions have become identity, our algorithms are showing things only what we like. Can you open my Instagram algorithm, like my Explorer page, and find something that is not aligned with me? That's how it is, that's not real. And also, I feel like it's become like such a culture that saying, Hey, I think I might be wrong, I changed my opinion about it. I'll be sold that it's people feel like it's a very ego play, but I think that's one of the most attractive things ever to say by anyone, right? If you see that you have made a mistake or like you want to change your opinion about something, it's okay to say, Hey, I think I might change, but your Instagram would never allow it because people will be calling you out on this whole calling out culture on Instagram, and like you know, that's the most dumbest thing I've ever seen. Because if you the a real mature human being will have a confrontational conversation about something instead of calling out on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Exactly what I also said, like I think the last episode we spoke about how those who really have a problem with something that it that you're doing will bother to come and have a conversation about it with you. If they're not talking about it with you in person and just you alone, it doesn't matter. Either they don't matter or their opinions don't matter. Yeah, but this is not very easy to do that on Instagram because nobody is holding you accountable on Instagram. You can just have, like, you know, faceless person five. Yeah. So you can just have a faceless profile, you can have a nameless profile, and you can literally go about saying whatever the hell you want on any photo on anyone's profile, right? That kind of access from just one place to the whole world and the freedom to say anything, that makes it easy, I'm guessing, for people to just have this Instagram call-out culture. But I'm not sure if that is actually sustainable in the long run for us as humans.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Because nobody is taking it seriously. I, for one, do not read my comments. Yeah, it is hurtful when I see one or two of them. But where is it really heading with? But I am sure there are people who just sit there and do this as a full-time job to put somebody down. Like, I'm sure there are people who go out there and say these mean things to put people down, make them feel horrible about, but it's not just that, right? Like, it's it's a bigger picture than that. It's not just Instagram, I'm saying the whole accountability culture, it doesn't exist because the second somebody is like, you know, not agreeing with your opinion, oh, I'm gonna block them, I'm gonna unfriend them. Oh one minute.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

What? Come again for one second. I turn that side. See, I do not block people. One minute, one minute, one minute. Okay. Anisha unfriends people.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Anisha unfollows people all the time. I unfollow people, I unfriend people, I block them all the time. But okay, now this is like out of context, right? I block them, I unfriend them because there is heavy abuse and hatred involved. Have I ever blocked anybody who has uh who has not abused me? The people I've blocked are people you don't need to the social etiquette is not putting up with hatred and abuse, you know. You should have boundaries. That is also very important. You can agree to disagree with boundaries, but if you are gonna cross your boundary and come this side and like, you know, show me all this hate, I do not want to know what you're up to in life, and sure as shit, I don't want you to know what I am up to in life. So, like, I am gonna block you, I am gonna unfriend you, but I have so many people whom I do not agree with, but I do follow them, I do see them, like you know, that's another thing. You can understand.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Listen, if someone has hurt you beyond uh, you know, what you can tolerate or what you think is okay, then I think they should definitely go out of your life. I was obviously just taking it to get you because Yeah, because I yeah, I do unfund people because I am not okay with mean behavior.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

I am not okay with like yeah, nobody should be okay with mean behavior exactly, and hated and abuse, like abuse didn't be like hitting someone, right? Like going out of your way to like insult your intelligence just because, see, that's another thing you should know when to be quiet. Yes, so you can't go around arguing with an idiot because an idiot is gonna drag you down to his level and beat you with his idiocracy. So when you are quiet, that doesn't mean you're willing to stand there and be a pushover. It just means you're protecting your peace. And when that kind of kindness or like kind of like uh silence is taken for granted, then there is only so much you can also like you know deal with people. And we are living, let's let's just agree that we are living in a hyper online world. And it does there are trigger points for people, so it's fine, but then I'm not uh just for like one small opinion, I'm not gonna unfriend someone. Just for like a small opinion, I'm not gonna block someone. That's not what I'm saying, like you know, but that's not like too. You can't just block someone in real life. You cannot block someone in real life.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

You gotta deal with be another and be like, okay, either does this person matter, or uh can I just do away without being affected by this person? It all comes down to the importance that the person has in your rel in your life, right? Like, for example, my relationship, I think it's like the perfect example of um, you know, two people who are complete opposites, contrasts, I think. And I don't think um, you know, most of the things we don't see eye to eye, but I don't think that has ever stopped either of us from respecting each other's opinion and being like, hey, yeah, I know that I don't see it the way you see it.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Sorry, okay. I didn't do anything. I literally just looked at the camera. You think I don't know you? I literally just looked at the camera. I didn't do anything.

SPEAKER_00 19:41

So, what was I saying? We don't see eye to eye. We don't ever see eye to eye on so many things. As much as we do, um, you know, agree. I think we agree on like a lot of values, but we don't agree on opinions so much. We don't agree on uh, you know, uh standpoints and we don't agree in what we think on a general note. But I think that has also challenged me. I know that there are people who really just agree and who, you know, it's much more coercive. But I feel like every disagreement, if you allow it and if it makes sense to you, it is an opportunity for you to really grow. When there is a difference in your opinion, that that's like an invitation for you to just level up and grow your mindset. It's either that or if you have a difference in your values, then I think it's just doomsday.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Yeah, that's just stupid, you know, because you can disagree on opinions. Like fitness can mean something to you, fitness can mean something else to me. Like, you know, whether I should eat pineapple on my pizza. Now that's an opinion. How I travel, how I spend my money, how I save my money, those are all opinions. But then values, empathy, kindness, love honesty, those are all respect, integrity, those are all values. Yeah so when you uh have like when you have difference of opinion, then that gives you room to grow. But if you have like a difference in the values, that's just gonna make you grow apart, that's gonna put a lot of distance in you. Say, for instance, I would definitely don't I don't think I could ever be friends with somebody who cannot be kind, cannot uh operate from a place of kindness, or cannot operate from a place of basic risk respect, or like can't say thank you, please, or be grateful for. Right? Like those are all values. I'm sorry if you do not align with me on those things, then you gotta go.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Yeah, for sure. I think those are like really cool values to like try and be aligned with uh people on. I think for me it'd just be the fact that if somebody is not able to accept the fact that another person can be different and it's absolutely okay, and you and I can still sit across the table despite being complete polar opposites and still have you know be great friends. And I think if someone doesn't have Tolerance, my god, that entire thing can just be put in the word tolerance. If someone doesn't have understanding and tolerance, I think it's difficult for me to coexist with someone.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

And there are like a lot of people who feel like if their opinions don't align, then they cannot be they immediately that there comes hatred, and there comes like you know, forcing them, or immediately they are being judged, they're being branded. I've seen this quite a number of times in a lot of adults, and I don't think that's a very healthy way to go about life, right? Like, even for instance, uh, I don't think I've ever like had like major argument with any of the strong point relationships in my life. Be it you, be it mom, be it dad, be it, be it any one of my close friends. I don't think I've ever had uh, and we are all so different. We're all so so different, but we've always had like a very, very beautiful way of saying, hey, you know what? I see it. I see you see it differently, but this is where I come from. And if you do it this way, it'll be better for both of us. But if you don't want to, but I respect it, but this is who you are, and I'll I'd let you do that's one thing, because we all are different human beings by the end of the day. Like I said, we all are going to have different experiences.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Why should anyone live the way you expect them to live? They also get to do life just this one time. So everyone should be allowed to live however they want to. And if it's not hurting you, then let them just live their life. But if people want to like disagree with it, then they should just be like, okay, this is my opinion. Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

If you're hurting yourself, then I'm gonna tell you that it's and even I feel like even that opinion cannot be too harsh. Yeah, but it cannot be too brutal. Under the name of honesty, if you're gonna be brutal, it's just gonna be brutality.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Yeah, because brutal honesty without kindness is just brutality. Yeah.

unknown 23:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

You don't need that kind of brutal honesty, you don't need that person. Yeah, 100%. How do you think we should have like a healthy disagreement? One, I think you just, you know, put out whatever you want to say. Two, you listen to what the other person has to say. I don't think you should uh try and change their opinion immediately, or try and make them see things the way you're seeing it. Properly listen to what they are really trying to say, understand them, and uh don't try to immediately object. Don't uh react, respond, don't shout because shouting doesn't mean that you're right or doesn't mean that you're going to win. I think tone really matters when you're trying to like agree or disagree with somebody. Sensitive conversations can easily escalate into something that it was not intended to be if you're not being mindful. You know, because emotions take um, you know, the front seat, and then it's very easy to kind of lose track of what you are even talking about. So I think these these I think are the basic rules of disagreement. So, what do you think are the basics?

SPEAKER_01 24:48

You basically said everything.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

Like, then great.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Yeah, great. Yeah. Every conversation doesn't need a winner, right? That's another thing. Like it's fine. It's just an opinion, and people are allowed to have two different opinions. And if you feel like you don't understand something, you can ask, like, you know, a question coming from a very, very honest place, instead of like, you know, can I don't seem to see your point of view? Can we get instead of saying that doesn't make sense, or you know, something like that. And it's very, very important to know when to stop, I feel, when you're disagreeing. It's okay to disagree, but it's very, very important to stop when you are like in a conversation, and it's okay to leave it at that. It's fine, we all are like you know, just trying to make it with different opinion, different ideas, and stuff like that. So it's okay to disagree and leave it at that. So those are some of the things, and I feel like our sister dynamic kind of works because we are two extremely different people with completely different opinions on life. But the one thing that brings us together all the time is because we have these shared values, our co-values are always the same. Be kind, operate from a place of kindness, move around with grace, operate from a place of love, be respectful, have some empathy for others, and like you know, everyone struggles with something or the other, but like you know, we always like mainly operate from a place of kindness and love, so that itself is like a huge blanket statement. We're very polite and very thoughtful kind of people, but we are very, very different people. I feel our opinions on stuff are extremely different, but we are like super aligned because of our values, yeah. Like, what is the one uh I think we should keep it a little light. Like, what is the one thing we strongly disagree upon? Do you know?

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Um I think a lot of things, no, but strongly disagreeing upon is I believe in moving faster when you have a timeline.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

When you have to be at a place, I believe in moving a little faster. Stop stop.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Yeah, I don't think anything should make you wanna like hurry. Right? Yeah, if not. Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing. Nothing is worth it. You shouldn't be in a constant state of anxiety at all. You should not be like tensed all the time. If you're late, you're late. That's it. Get ready, get ready calmly, get ready peacefully. Yeah, the world can be. And the world will wait because royalty is always late. So don't worry.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

I said it wrong. Royalty is never late. Everyone is a little early. That's how the line goes. Oh. No.

SPEAKER_00 27:48

See? You know. So yeah, royalty.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

Yeah, that's why I try to be on time everywhere. So that's something that we disagree upon.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

That I disagree upon with you. Like, what is the one annoying habit, funny habit of mine that you do not? A funny habit.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

A funny habit that I don't like? Mm-hmm. I don't know. There are so many things. Uh used to make this face. That's not a habit, no, it's not. It is a habit that you just grill it.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

It's definitely not. No. It's not a habit. A habit is something you do it repeatedly on an everyday basis. Look it up. The fact that you're so riled up that I don't like. It's super late. I'm like, you should be riled up. But okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Yeah, but I'm not, no, like I'm saying, okay, let's just.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Yeah, that's why that's why it's so different, but aligned. So yeah, then what else? Okay, you tell me. What is the one habit of mine that you don't like? Chewing 28 times. I love it. That's why you asked me and I told you, like, you know. Yeah. And personality-wise, I think we both are extremely different. Yeah. Extremely, extremely different. We've done the opposite. Yeah, but still we are we are. I think we've always been this close, mainly so because although, in spite of our differences in characters, our habit, our opinions, it's because we choose, we never try to defeat each other. Like all defeat each other. Like, you know, it's never been a point of oh, I'm trying to win her over, or it's never been a point, a thing of ego. It's always been like I know her when your face ticks off, like right now, a little while back when it ticked off and you completely forgot everything. But then I would, it's not about defeating you, it's about it's it's about respect and it's it's got nothing to do with ego. I think that's where everything is defeated when somebody uh when the whole point of agreeing to disagreeing comes into place, it's mostly ego-driven to be right, to win them over, and to always have a winning side. It's never like that. It's always about uh not defeating the other person, I feel. That's what it mainly is. Yeah. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

I think it's simple. If the person really matters, you wouldn't really, you know, be so serious. That's the person over the problem.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

Yeah, that's it. But it's more than over the problem, right? They're talking about like opinions and stuff like that. Like it can get very heated and serious when a bunch of friends are all sitting together and talking about something, right? Like, I remember like this one time and like there are so many people who make others feel bad for not knowing something. Be it a current thing or a personality or like a trend or anything like that. So what they like in a friend setup, especially, right? Just to make fun of them or something like that. But it is, you know, those are the kind of things, right? It's not really a fight or an argument. It's okay to agree to disagree on opinions, like you know, it's okay to let it be. It's birds of feather flock together, not because they all the same and they all think the same. They all are just aligned. That's where the saying comes from. It's not like a thing where you all have to be the same, do the same, like the same. Then that's just a boring life because, like you said, growth really happens only when you challenge somebody. Yeah. And it's fun to banter, it's fun to debate. Everything is not serious. Like I said, that book, Righteous Mind, made me look at things differently. It's not about politics or religion, although it does say why is a righteous mind divided by politics and religion, right? But it covers so many things. It was such a slow uh I took my own sweet time to read it because it was I had to read it in details and in layers, but it it has this beautiful analogy about how our mind is like an elephant and it's a rider. And we are value and opinion driven like that. It's such a beautiful book. I think some if you really want to, like, you know, see things differently, I think that's a book you need to pick up. Yeah, so yeah. Um let's do a rapid fire for sure. Yeah, yeah. Let's do a rapid fire. Do you want me to go? I wrote it down too. Not every uh disagreement needs a courtroom.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Yeah, for sure. Sometimes you can just disagree in silence. 100% emotional maturity is staying calm and someone thinks differently. For sure. Agree. Yeah. Next. The picking alternatives. Strictly no discussing politics at dinner. 100%. Yeah. Unless it's our day, our house dinner table. Because in our house, our parents are so nice because we all are allowed to express our opinions and nobody really gets offended. Because that's how we've grown up, me and my sister also at home. Our parents have never been the kind of people now. When I think about why do I never get ticked off easily, or why do I not try to tick off someone else with my opinion? I think it all boils down to uh because my parents have always encouraged me and my sister to have different opinions, and they've always been okay and even celebrated the fact that we even have opinions that are original to us.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

And somehow dinner table has always been about educating uh us on how uh the climate in our state is like, you know, what kind of uh uh what do I say? It's it's definitely welcomed at our dinner table, but because mainly so because it's been like more like an enriching educative experience about where we come from the kind of struggles we've all faced. And uh we come from a very, very strong Tamil household. Our parents have been like that. Uh, our dad, especially, and our mum, although she's so worly and knowledgeable in her dad, but then they've always taught us to be so proud of our roots. And except our dinner table. I think other than that, if we are at somebody's dinner table, we wouldn't want to discuss that.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

Nobody else's dinner table. But at the dinner table, anything and everything is open to discussion. Yeah, yeah. So confusing confidence with arrogance. Agree. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

I agree. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just because you can confidently express yourself and you know how to articulate your feelings and your opinions. That doesn't mean it's arrogant and you cannot understand. That's my opinion. Yeah. Next one. Uh silence can be more respectful than reacting.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

Yeah, 100%. I think so. I'm with you on that too. Yeah. Because sometimes people don't really they do not want to hear you. So why are you wasting your time trying to talk to them? Yeah, for sure. They do not want to understand you. So why are you struggling so hard to be understood?

SPEAKER_01 34:52

But going back to the point where like confidence and arrogance, it stays confident when you are actually humble about it. Not try to rub it in that person's face with a smirk or like an opinion, like you know, belittle their opinion.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Just like confidence comes from a very confidence is a very well-rounded aura by itself, I feel. So yeah, yeah. Confidence knows all it is.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

It doesn't ever try to like be loud about it. Being right is overrated. Yeah, please be wrong. I love the days when I feel like okay, I'm wrong because that makes me want to like learn something about myself, about somebody else, about the world. So I'm not saying, oh, I want to be wrong all the time, but once in a while, to be wrong, I think if you see it the right way, it's I think it's beautiful to be wrong.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Like, you know, in the way it's like I said, it's really attractive when you can understand that you're wrong and you come you're forthcoming of it, and also you can say that hey, I think I'm wrong. Yeah. Like, you know, that that's amazing. That's amazing too.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

Yeah, loud is not right.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

100% loud isn't right. Just because you're loud, that doesn't mean what you're saying is right.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Yeah. It's okay to outgrow friendships. Yeah, because I think all of us can all of us have outgrown friendships in some phase of our life or the other. And I think it's very few friends who stand the test of time and they become family. So, yeah, absolutely okay to outgrow friendships. Debating without disregarding. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

Definitely. We've always been people who challenge each other when it comes to like Yeah, debating without disregarding. Absolutely, why did you laugh? I thought about something that happened and then I laughed. No, what happened? Why do you always make me say things?

SPEAKER_00 36:40

Like, once we are done, like friends tell you uncomfortable truth. Friends who tell you uncomfortable truth.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

For sure, but depends upon whether you're saying it behind four walls or in front of like an audience that like a hundred percent friends do tell you uncomfortable truth. So I said, they make you better if it's for the better betterment of your own self, then amazing. But not in front of like in in front of an audience or anything like that. But I genuinely feel world would be a lighter place and a happier place if we all like understand that disagreement doesn't mean disrespect and kindness during disagreement just tells a lot about your character than winning at all.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

So sure. I think we all should like hold some space for each other.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

And uh make room for us to coexist peacefully. We don't need people who think we don't need people who think Yeah, we don't need people who think like us.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

We need people who have different opinions and who doesn't who hold space for us and who can actually understand who actually gives us the space to be ourselves without making love, respect, or uh a safe space, an emotional uh safe space without making it feel conditional. And that was two piece in a pod on agreeing to disagree respectfully. And thank you so much for joining on another sleepy but still good episode, I hope, of uh two piece in a pod with uh agreeing but still disagreeing.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

If you like this episode, or if you have something to add to this, please tell us what you think in the comments. Has there ever been a time where you've disagreed and it has um cost you or it has, you know, added to the betterment of your life? Please tell us about one of your interesting disagreements in the comments.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Or share this with somebody whom you debate with all the time or whom you're trying to tell, hey, this is what I was trying to tell you all all the while long, you know. And thank you so much for joining us on another phenomenal episode of Two Piece in a Point.