E88 Honi: From Judgment To Acceptance. How To See People Through God ALMighty's Lens

What If Every Time You Judge Someone, It Is Showing You Something Unresolved On The Inside?

Why do we judge the people closest to us for choices we would never make? What is actually happening underneath that discomfort? And what shifts when we pause long enough to see through the lens of God ALMighty instead of through the narrow lens of our own human experience?

In this deeply personal and practical solo episode, Rev. HoniB shares what happened this past weekend when both of her sons moved out of their shared place and into their own homes. A simple moment of watching her youngest son Nevan pile perfectly good items on the kitchen floor to throw away triggered something she didn't expect. As a woman who came to America with nothing after losing everything in the war in Iran, watching someone discard things that could help others hit a core she didn't see coming. What followed was a masterclass in catching judgment in Real time, pausing before reacting, speaking from the heart instead of the wound, and watching how that shift benefited everyone involved.

In this episode:

• Both sons moving out: Kiyan to Virginia, Nevan to Frederick, and the bittersweet beauty of witnessing young adults step into their own chapters
• The moving day moment that triggered judgment: Nevan wanting to throw everything away and why it hit HoniB so deeply
• The immigrant lens: coming to America with nothing, a suitcase and $200, and how that experience still lives inside decisions and reactions decades later
• How she paused, caught the judgment, spoke from her heart's desire instead of from the wound, and watched everyone benefit, including Nevan
• Why judgment always means something on the inside is being touched that has not been fully seen or spoken
• The difference between having a preference and judging: if you have a yucky feeling inside, you are judging. If you are not bothered, you are in acceptance
• How to shift from the narrow human lens to the wide lens of God ALMighty's Presence in the body
• The mechanics of why this shift changes communication, relationships, and outcomes for everyone involved
• Helping her oldest son Kiyan set up his new kitchen, and the beautiful invitation of "Mom, what do you think?" while honoring his own choices
• How this same dynamic plays out in partnerships, workplaces, friendships, politics, religion, and FIFA
• Why light must shine on the dark places where judgment lives before acceptance can arise
• The 100th episode celebration coming early August

When we allow the lens of God ALMighty, we replace judgment with understanding, acceptance, and grace. And everyone around us benefits. 🌹

Transcript

Welcome And The Core Theme

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Blessings and welcome to the Ascension Alchemist Podcast, everyone. Thank you so much for being here. It's your host, Reverend Honey Borden, and I'm bellighted to come to you with this episode today that is about judgment, acceptance, and seeing individuals from the lens of God Almighty. It's a big one. And I really want to go into a deep conversation in this because it has taken me a very long time to actually recognize the mechanics of why we judge, why I judge. What is underneath that? What's actually happening? And I'm gonna go ahead and start this off with this weekend that my both of my sons moved out of their place. So before I get into it, first let me just go ahead and thank those of you who are new to this podcast. Thank you so much for being here. And those of you who are returning, Michael and I are so deeply, deeply grateful as we're just about to hit our hundredth episode. It is amazing, and we're going to have a big party celebration for it beginning of August. So stay tuned as we share that information. So for those of you who are new, thank you for finding us. This is a home for you. If you have gone on your spiritual journey on your ascension journey, and you've reached a place where you remember who you are, yet all those things that you did before don't really, you know, have an impact on you anymore because they serve their purpose and you're looking for true conviction, a walk of true faith and living from embodiment. And it's also a place where those of you who have been in religious communities, but you just couldn't handle the dogma of religion, and yet you knew there was the presence of God, and it doesn't require a physical location, it's always in you, and you were looking for a home where there are people who are walking the embodiment of that conviction, that truth, that presence in every day they speak from there, they're living in devotion and commitment and discipline from there, and it is on the inside. So if you're coming from that place, this is the blending of both, and we have created a home for you because we are living from that Christ light that we have remembered is on the inside, and it is to live the life of the kingdom of heaven here, and we're excited to walk it, to live it, to breathe it, to be it, to share it,

Building A Spiritual Home Together

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and to deliver the fulfillment. So, welcome home. We are delighted to have you. So many of you have followed our journey for a while, so you know what's going on. Both of my sons were living together. My oldest son from Florida, he moved back. Michael and I moved back first, then he moved back, and he came to live with his brother, which was last July, and and he wanted to help his company grow. So, my youngest son Nevon, which I did the full podcast episode about him last week, he's my 23-year-old that just turned 23. He's this just this incredible gifted child. They both are very different, and they've been a big part of my journey of embodiment, ascension, and embodiment because Keon first took part. A lot of you have watched a lot of my NDE podcast interviews and all these different podcasts that I've been on that I speak very openly 26 years ago. He was part of my first initial awakening, and Nevon came three years later, blast me open on a whole different level. So both of them have been a big part of my journey. So last week I dedicated um the episode of 86 all about Nevon and watching him and his company grown, and he made his first million before age 23, and just the progress of his success and being a mother, parent of one of these gifted children, and everything that we face. So that episode is really deep. What I spoke about. So today, what I'm going to cover is this area that kickstarts with both of them finally moving out. So Keon, my oldest son, moved to Virginia, and my youngest son, Nevon, moved to Frederick. And here was this weekend when I got to be with both of them to help them sort things out. And so always I always feel so blessed that they include me in their, you know, in their choices. So I got a chance to help out, and and we also got to then spend the time together in the evening watching FIFA soccer, which we're all big FIFA fans. And I don't know if any of you are, it's been on world ride watching all the different games and the passion and all of that coming together. So these past couple of days was very dedicated to that, as they kind of came in one year of being together and then coming apart, going on their own. And how beautiful it is as a mother when where I get to bear witness to that, to this unification and then their separation and and the fulfillment of that purpose, because I always dream my sons work together, they stand in unity together. And you know, boys are boys are funny, they fight a lot, they wrestle a lot, they do all of that stuff, which was always like really too much for me. And

My Sons Move Into New Chapters

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but the boys being boys, and and there's this love underneath of it, underneath it, which is just so beautiful to witness. But this year I got to witness as Keon moved back, staying with my son, it also helped my youngest son go through the transition out of his marriage. He got married really young, and and all of that shifts taking place, and now they went into their own direction. They're still gonna work together somewhat, but it's it's a whole new chapter for both of their lives. So this morning, as my youngest son had spent the night, he got up, and before he went to church, I got to hug him and look at him and just be so grateful and reminding him that this is a whole new chapter, how exciting it is. He's like, Yes, mom, I know. And then I went to my oldest son's house as he was he needed some help to unbox things, put the kitchen together, and of course, I was just so happy to go help out and have this time together and get to see the way he's putting things together, his his choice of decoration and what have you. And this is where I want to come into this conversation about judgment and acceptance and all of that, because I feel it's a very important conversation. As parents or as individuals, we don't necessarily have to be parents, but I'm gonna speak about this moment being a parent, watching my kids become young adults and making their decisions, making their choices. It's so interesting as a parent to see how much we get stretched to bear witness to the choices that are being made. And some of the choices you see, it really bumps against you because you are in complete disagreement. And then some of the choices they meant, you're in agreement. It's always fascinating that that inner understanding why do we come in this space where we're we're kind of like a little maybe bothered by our children's choices because it's not through our lens, we wouldn't do it. We certainly wouldn't do it for ourselves, or we wouldn't want our children to do it. And yet here they are there doing it, and you are not. I mean, we talk about something as simple as, for example, putting a mirror on this side, which in your lens it absolutely makes no sense. But to your child's, I kind of want it there, and and and you find yourself having this judgment, it's like you're judging why they're putting it there, and there's this all this internal communication taking place. I'm sure you have noticed that this can also be with your partner, this can be with your parent, like that in that internal dynamic, a lot of this takes place. But I want to go deep into this this actually place where we find ourselves bearing witness to someone else's choice, and it is not what we would want, it is not what we would choose, and what actually happens on the inside of us where we find ourselves judging and we're not accepting, which is an interesting space when we come become aware of it, because a lot of times we are right away judging, but we're not understanding what we're judging, we're already in it, yet we're experiencing all that discomfort, and from there we're actually then communicating our our sort of like displeasure or being displeased. And and this is something to really watch out for. So, with both of my sons, they both have made a lot of judgment. Not judgment, they've made a lot of choices. Like, for example, my youngest one, when he was moving yesterday, he he had no energy to really clean the place. So he had piled everything in the in the kitchen area on the floor, and he wanted to throw all these things out. So when I went there, I was like, Oh my gosh, like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm gonna, I'm hiring somebody to come throw it out. And I find myself, I was like, Oh my god, Neville. I'm like, no, don't do that. Like, these are all good things. This can go, it can really help people. And he was like, Mom, I have no time, I can't, I gotta turn the place. I said, Hold on, just just give me a second. Let me call if my cousin, my aunt, they could use some of this because they're they're about to move to a place. He's like, No, mom, mom, I I can't. And I found myself, I found my human self slightly being a little judgmental of my youngest son. And I and I found that inside

Parenting Adult Choices Without Control

SPEAKER_00 11:55

of me. And this was the first part of this. And he's like, Mom, it's okay. Let's do I'm just gonna get rid of all of them. And I from that place of judgment that I initially came into, and that judgment was, wow, my son doesn't even care. Like so many other people could benefit from all of these things that are like so many of them are new, they can benefit. And I found myself speaking from there because when we first came to America, we didn't have anything. We had lost everything in the war. We had lost like everything house, car, all of our belongings. It was just my mom, a suitcase she had, and the suitcase I had, my brother, a small suitcase, she had $200, nothing. So for me, there was a value of what I was seeing, my younger son not caring, just throwing things away. And sometimes I'm sure you are in some kind of position like this where you're just judging somebody because it's touching something inside of you. And judgment is always that somewhere inside of you is touching. So as I became aware of it, I paused, I said, Neva, one second, just can you hold off? Let me call and let me see if they could use it. And he asked me, he's like, Why do you care so much? And that's when it was the opportunity. I said, Neva, because I know what it's like not having anything, and all of this can actually help somebody. So I'm coming from that place, and this is something my younger son will never understand. He's never had to lose everything, he's never had to experience war, he's never had to experience any of that. So he has no understanding. So I can't expect him to have that level of understanding because he's never experienced that, though he knows the story, and I can only bring awareness to maybe possibly he would be open, which he was. He's like, Okay, I got you, mom. So I went, told my aunt and my cousin, so they came over, and it was amazing because 90% of everything was collected. The two cars were packed, and it was amazing because as my cousin was getting ready to go to her place, she could use a bunch of these like brand new things, and so can my aunt and my mom's the person who's living, young gentleman has moved to her basement. He could use it. So as Michael and I came, we cleaned all of this. Then I found myself cleaning the kitchen area, removing the garbage, and preparing the space for my youngest son, so that as today he he finished wraps everything and he turns the key, he he can find that just that comfort and the inside. And he called me last night before he came over. He's like, Oh mom, that I'm so grateful. Like I can't even express how much you helped me. I felt so overwhelmed. And I knew because him and his brother going to different places. Of course, moving is challenging, all kinds of things come up. I was like, wow, look at that! Like they're really benefiting from this. So, so I watched myself coming from it first initially from my human self having this judgmental lens over my youngest son's choice of choosing to throw everything away. Then, as I paused and I did not react, I

The Moving Day Judgment Trigger

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just spoke my heart's desire and how it can help others through that awareness. I noticed that underneath that where I initially judged was this experience of my past, of how beautiful it would have been if people, and some people did handed things to us to make our life easier. We had hardly anything. So there was this need-based desire underneath, and the desire to help somebody else, and I'm sure some of you can relate. So sometimes we find ourselves judging others because inside of us there has been something that has not been spoken, perhaps has not been healed, perhaps is still lingering on the inside. So then from our lens, there is a non-acceptance of someone else's behavior. So again, I'm going back to my choice. For me, for my son to go through all of these in trash was just like sad, like like not accepting, like, why would you do that? And and it's coming from that judgment. So when I paused, I caught myself, then I spoke from where my heart desired in to be able to help others through that awareness. He became aware, so then he collaborated, so then I was able to fulfill that desire that rose in me. Then I was able to have my aunt and my cousin come and take part. They were happier, they benefited. Then, in return, my son received the best gift because the things were cleaned out of his kitchen and it made his moving that much easier. So it benefited everybody else. So, what's my point here? What is my point? My point is we each have our own lens. So each of us are a gift, a specimen from God Almighty with our own signature. And each of us have gone through the life journey ourselves. Each of us have all kinds of experiences that we've experienced. And a lot of times, because of what we experience, somehow, without being aware, we're judging another person's behavior because somewhere it's hitting us in a core on the inside that we're unaware why it's hitting on the inside because it's touching something sensitive, but we can't articulate it. So what happens is that then we move to this place of not accepting someone the way they are or the way they behave, and we may go even another step. It have it didn't happen in this case, but you know, some of you have experiences, then get really mad at another person and disown them, or for example, cut them off, or write them off your life because it goes really against what your truth is, or what your belief is, or what your thoughts and emotions are around certain things. So we see this a lot in politics, right? We certainly saw this in COVID, we've seen this in all these political attention, political, for example, elections. You see this right now in FIFA, like, oh my gosh, like of course, there's a unification of sake, yet there's all these battles within FIFA as well, which is very interesting. And you see this like in religion, you know, you see this so much. My religion is over your religion, and a lot of these things happen. And why it happens, I've come to discover, is because it's touching so core on the inside, somewhere on the inside, inside the human five senses and its experience where it is not open to the presence of God Almighty with it, it's not aligned, so it's very easy from that restriction to see an individual from that narrow lens, and because it's so narrow, then judge them, not accept them, and want them to be different because it is not pleasing or being comfortable comfortable to our own, let's say, preference. Are you all with me? I'm sure you're with me. I'm sure a lot of you are going through this. Now, here's the flip side of it. So, in my experience, because of the presence of God Almighty, because of this daily relationship, because of this daily devotion, daily commitment, daily discipline of meeting the presence of God Almighty with me every single day, sitting with the presence of that Christ light, aligning myself, then embodying it, having God Almighty come into my day to start my day this way, so that I can see through the lens of God Almighty. I can embrace life through that, through that whatever encounter I have. So when my human self Meets one of these, let's say, encounters, because there's not enough awareness there, and because I can pause, then I can catch myself, I can shift out of my human body just a little bit, where then I'm in the presence of God Almighty in my body, and then through that embodiment lens, I'm seeing a different, wider, cleaner, more beautiful, clear understanding, where it has compassion, it has grace, it's merciful, I can see the world from a different lens. And from that I can speak, which then going back to this example with my younger son, my younger son was then able to align with align with what I was saying, because he was able to have that awareness, so then he was in agreement, so then it really then benefited everybody. So that is the presence of the Christ light. When we come when we choose, it it really is a choice, it's a high level of choice to experience something very little and notice. Oh, wait, here's my human, is seeing through a narrow lens, is judging, and it wants things to be different. And instead of going to full judgment and speaking from there and acting out from there, when we breathe in that awareness of the presence of God Almighty, catch ourselves, then we can shift to be in the body of that presence. Then there's a whole different expression, communication, and and truly everybody else benefits. And it's so so beautiful, so beautiful. Now it is easier on some topics, and it's certainly not easier on some other topics. Some individuals is easier, some individuals is not. So it really depends what is the relationship you have. So you, for example, you may have a colleague that you have a really difficult time even communicating. It's just everything you don't see eye to eye. It's just so challenging. And that can be really challenging. Yet the invitation is still there, it's available to be able to give it the opportunity, maybe through the lens of Almighty, the communication can be slightly different, and it opens up so the language becomes more vast, and that through that vastness, because the lens is open, there's this horizon of eternity that is open, that that gives permission for

Shifting Into God’s Lens Of Compassion

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person to come into that space. So if so, if you if you really kind of look at it this way, when we are experiencing a reality from our human self that that suddenly touches something on the core, and we're noticing that that rise of judgment has come up, what's happening is on the inside it feels very closed in. So it's pushing against our our field, and and what we're seeing through is very narrow. Now, when we allow awareness to open ourselves, then we allow the other individual to come to this openness, and together we open the field, and from there the communication has changed. There is a resolution, there is a resurrection, and in my case, for example, other people also benefited. And I've it again I'm sharing this with you because it took me a really long time to finally grasp the mechanics of this. And in my private mentorship, I teach this deep to clients that, for example, some of these women that I mentored, they are like they are handling ginormous businesses. For example, one client that has a portfolio of $800 million with um project development, and she's she's gonna make all these decisions. So, for example, it's like how do you how do you help them not have judgment, have this more gracious lens of acceptance and seeing yet honoring themselves. It's really, really interesting, and I'm glad that this conversation has come up to be able to share it with you. So, on the other side, today when I went to my other son's house to help him put things away, like on his kitchen counter, he had these things, and when I saw it was really cluttered, so it was so great. He's like, Mom, it looks really cluttered here. He invited me. He's like, Do you think, what do you think we should do? And of course, I was so excited because he really allowed me. I was like, you know what? Instead of me telling you, let's move things around to see what what feels better to it. So we changed the position of all the things on the counter several times. And then he's like, Oh, this is better. And one of the items, I was like, This looks a little clutter. He's like, you know what, mom? I like it that way. I said, okay. So I found myself saying, in my lens, it was clutter, but in his lens, he liked it. It's like, okay, this is his choice. So see how he likes it, but it settled with him. So it was so interesting to watch that invitation take place and and the choices that he wanted to make that that seemed right for him, yet there was the invitation, hey mom, what do you think of this? So when I offered my lens to him, it was interesting. Then he would in like for the bathroom, we shifted some things around. He's like, wow, I can see this. So for him, he's like, you know, I like the lens of the feminine, it shows me something that I can't see on my own. So it's just it's just amazing to also witness that. So, what's the point of all this? What's the takeaway? We are all going to have encounters, right? Every day we have them with our partners, with our children, with gosh, with clients, with colleagues, with parents, uncles, grandparents, cousins. We we always have them. So, how can we accept individuals for where they are, how they're navigating life while being aware that there may be some things inside of us that it may just not be a preference for us? It's okay, can we have a preference without judging? Or can we can we have a discernment for ourselves and allow others to be but without having that yucky feeling inside? So that that's the key. If you have that yucky feeling inside, you're judging. But if you're accepting, yet you're not bothered, then you're in this full acceptance. Or it may be a case like me, something's come up like you have the ability from your lens, from your heart, the keys with the heart, passion, and compassion, you speak it and see if there's that invitation. Now, had my son been like, no, mom, I don't want to throw it away, would it have played differently with my youngest son? Perhaps, maybe, maybe my human self then would have been a little bit upset. Then I would have to like come then meet that part of me that you know, as an age of 12 or 13, coming to America, having nothing, having had everything, and then coming up to having nothing, how that was, and perhaps is another layer part of my healing that would be an invitation to it's okay if people have it and they're throwing things away, for me not to judge that and not to not to assume they're taking it away from me. See what I mean? So these are all part of awareness. The beautiful thing is when we have awareness, then we have to awareness there is a light that shines in the area, and then we can we can navigate better through this lightness, it's not so dark. Usually we're judging because it's it's dark, light hasn't shined on it. So when you pause and just for a minute shine light on what's happening in the inside awareness, then you have a much better way of handling a situation or encounter or anything in life where you're not coming from the lens of judgment, you're coming from the lens of acceptance, you're coming from the lens of compassion, you're coming from the lens of understanding, you're coming from the lens of generosity, grace, and mercy. These are all true heavenly qualities that's embedded in

Preferences Without The Yucky Feeling

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us, but they only come out when we're put into situations and encounters that are the catalyst for them rise within us. And when they arise inside, it feels amazing. So I felt like amazing on the inside because it was a sweet nectar of God flowing in me, which are the qualities of God, the heavenly realm that I got to experience on earth, and that's what we talk about when we bring the heaven on earth. This is what we're doing, we're allowing those beautiful qualities to rise inside of us, and we bring it to this planet so other people around us benefit. And how gorgeous is that! So that's what I wanted to share is it was inspired by this whole conversation and communication and the last couple of days, and I trust that this will land with those of you who are really devoted and embodiment, walk of your greatest God-given presence, because together we're stronger when we are allowing this in us, and as one goes through it and we speak of it, for example, like in this podcast, it becomes accessible to you. So next time this comes up, you're like, there's a remembrance. Hmm, I have this choice because choice is amazing, it's incredible. So that's what I wanted to share, and I'm trusting it lands on you. If it does, please let me know. I do want to give so much gratitude and thanks to so many of you that listened to my podcast episode last week, episode 86 for my son Nevon. This is going to be this is episode 88 coming out. I'm so glad that what I shared. I mean, I had so many amount of messages, how much it touched you, how touching it was, the amount of the month that I cried on that podcast for the love of my son. And it's so beautiful. I'm I'm just so glad it touched you. Thank you so much. And I really invite you, please. If it touches you, anything you gather from here, I do this out of the labor of my love. Come here with Michael twice a week, committed all the time. It is to bring these blessings to all of you. I ask you if it touches you, please reshare it. Share with two or three people that you feel they're really gonna benefit. That is the best and the

Gratitude, Sharing Request, And Closing

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greatest gift that you can give me. Another thing, please join my my newsletter, me and Michael's newsletter. Be sure you're on there. All you do, you go to our website at SensionAlchemist.com on the home page, you click the box, put your name, email. So yeah, so you can receive our weekly newsletter. We just send one out every week and we share all kinds of things in there, and there's some amazing opportunities that we don't share publicly. But those of you who are in the newsletter, you certainly can experience it. And I'm grateful. And leave a review, please leave a review for us on Apple Podcasts, on Spotify. It will really, really help us. We're so grateful. So much love to all of you as you're listening to this on your Monday early morning while I recorded it on Sunday. Enjoy it. I love you all. Have a beautiful, blessed day. Thank you so much. God Almighty is watching over you, and I ask God Almighty to assist in that awareness in you so that you can remove the lens of judgment and replace this with the lens of understanding and the lens of acceptance. Wouldn't that be amazing? It is in this amen, amen, amen to that. And I'll talk to you all very soon on the next episode. Have a great one. Bye bye.