Ep 36 - Hard Decisions, Heavy Responsibility, and Faith

In this week’s episode of Messy but Motivated, we’re recording while on vacation and having a real, honest conversation about the season our family is walking through right now. My husband joins me on the podcast as we talk about selling our house, the emotions that come with big life transitions, and how God showed up for us in a situation that could have turned out really bad—but didn’t.

We also open up about the bittersweet reality of leaving our church, the weight my husband carries as the anchor of our family, and the stress that often comes with that responsibility. Through it all, we’re reminded that even when life feels uncertain or overwhelming… God shows up.

This episode is about faith in the middle of change, trusting God when the future feels unclear, and remembering that even in the messy moments—He is still in control.

Because sometimes the story really is… But God.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to Messy But Motivated, you guys. I am your host, Melinda. For those of you that are just listening in your car, you're probably like, hey, what's up, girl? Um, my husband's sitting here.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Hello.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Yes. We are on vacation, so you can see it's a different scenery. That's the great thing about having a podcast is you can take it wherever you go as long as you have the equipment. So we did bring um all my stuff so that we can do a podcast here. And um I'm pretty excited about it because I'm actually relaxed. And uh I asked Mike to be on the podcast how like 20 minutes ago. Yeah. Yeah. So he has no he yeah, you guys, he's just he's just coming in, winging it. But that's all right. We have a great scenery right now. Oh, it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Um, we are in the shores, Alabama shores. I say shores, and then people were like, yeah, but where?

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Yeah, well, the shores could also be New Jersey shores.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

I know. And I didn't realize that. Which I gotta tell you guys how we how we decided on this because we've never been to shores, by the way. Gulf shores, Alabama, Gulf Shores. Um we decided on this. Was it last year when we were planning and we played the game?

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Okay, last year we were playing a game, and you know, we've seen that thing on TikTok where everybody's like, oh, you pull things out of hats. Well, we had a calendar, and it was a wooden calendar, wooden pieces, uh not calendar, oh my gosh, map. A wooden map of the United States. And so we all just started pulling them out, and the last one that we pulled was Alabama. So we decided to come here.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

And that's how we got here. So we booked it the following day, I think. And here we are. So very excited. Um, what I'm really excited for is the fact that we have family showing up today. Mike's sister is coming in today with her husband and our niece Nicole. We were just talking, we miss her so much. Last time it's almost been a year, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Yeah, since Branson.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

Yep. Um, we try to do a vacation every year together. So this one, um, they're coming from Maryland, and then my sister Ann is coming. Um, and you guys, let me correct that. Okay, first I'll tell you Ann's coming with her family. Um, she's not bringing my uh older niece or my older nephew, but they're staying back, they have jobs, and um, but she is bringing the littles and her husband, and they will be here tomorrow. But let me go back on that. You guys remember I didn't even tell you this. This is Shocker Guys, I know. So I'm talking to my sister. Yeah, you guys, sorry. Uh we have I still have this cough. I don't even know what's happening. Uh, not even a cough, it's like just nastiness in my throat. Um I'm talking to Londie, my sister, my other sister, guys. Um, and I said something about Anne. Remember now, Annie. Okay, see, I just call her Annie. Okay, I guess I've been calling her the wrong name, is what I'm trying to say, babe. So don't call her Annie.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

It's Anne.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Ann.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Ann. I've been calling my sister the wrong name. No E. So she says she doesn't understand why the family in Iowa has always called her Annie. And she thinks that maybe her mom maybe told everybody that her name was Annie, because that's a whole different weird thing. Like, m remember you guys, she's kind of um my dad was never, yeah. Just yeah. So we've always heard of he always said her name was Annie. So I've always called my sister Annie, and she's like, It really shows how present your dad was. Yeah. Yeah. So my sister um was like, hey, her name's actually Ann, and I go, Oh my gosh, so that's really hard for me. But I actually spoke up to Ann and I said, Hey, like, that's gonna be hard for me, so just no. And she's like, No, it's okay because everybody in Iowa, like all the family there, says, My name's Ann, Annie, and it's Anne. I'm like, oh, okay. So but then again, she didn't even know like her last name. It was on her birth certificate or something like that. She's got a funny story with that. Like, she didn't even know that her last name, what it was for a while until somebody at the school told her, and she was like, That's not my last name. And they're like, Yeah, it is. So it's it's a whole thing. Um, but yes, so they're coming super excited about it. This is our second vacation that they've got to come on.

unknown 4:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

We went um our first one together was we all met at my sister's house for Thanksgiving um this past year. So now we are coming here and it's gonna be great. I'm so excited. So yeah. Um, another thing I not another thing, we we needed this vacation.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Yeah. Much needed.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Very much needed, you guys. Let me tell you something. Oh, I know y'all think we're probably a pro at selling houses because for some reason, I you know what I was thinking one day. I was like, we should just be in the real estate business.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

I know we should.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

We're really good at it.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Um, but we're just, I'm telling you guys, ooh, it this has been stressful.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

Yeah, well, it's stressful because we want a particular house and we don't want it to sell before we can make the offer on it, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Yeah, but it's all God's will. And I keep saying that. I'm like, you know what, maybe something better is gonna come up, so I'm not I'm not too focused on all of it. I'm kind of like, well, what happens, happens. It's in God's will. But I will tell you, this has been a little bit more stressful than before. Um, and I was actually just telling Mike a little bit ago, I said, I'm wondering why I've been having panic attacks. I had another panic attack, anxiety attack, whatever you want to call them, at the airport when we were leaving. And it's a small airport, you guys, it's not nothing crazy. I just all of a sudden started to it, could have been like a whirlwind of things, though. It could have been the fact that we woke up at two in the morning to get there. It could be the fact that the night before I hardly got any sleep. Um, you know, just a whole thing. Um, it could have been in stress, but I started to, you know, I could feel my feet start to sweat, and then I could get I was starting to get the tunnel vision. And my sister my sister, my daughter was sitting next to me at the time, and I said, Hey, uh, I need your dad to sit next to me. And she's like, Why? And I was like, I think I'm about to have a panic attack. So he came over, sat next to me, and we made it all work out.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Yeah, you calmed down.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yeah, I did. I calmed down a lot. So sometimes I just need to I need to get it together, and it's it sucks because when I'm in the moment, I am spiraling in my mind. I'm like, I can't calm down, I don't know how I'm gonna calm down. This is this hurts. This like I can't breathe. And I'm like trying to play it cool because the kids, like, and when I'm in front of the kids, I'm trying so hard to play it cool. Um and it's hard because you're like, you don't want to scare them.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Yeah, well, they feed off yeah you.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

So I'm trying really hard to like, okay. Um, you know, and but then like the only thing I could really think of was get you next to me because then you can calm me down. Um so yeah, there's that, but it's just stressful, and I know it's all in God's timing. We have had some offers on the house, but nothing that um we know what we have in the house. See, that's the thing. We bought the house brand new, but we've done things to the house. Like the patio outside we paid $6,000 for just for a little $8,000. I'm sorry, $8,000 for a patio outside. Um we in because we didn't just get a slab, like we got it like, you know, really nice. Um we've put an additional like a safe room in our house, um, so it's covered like by a bookshelf. Um, we've done, I mean, the that came with no appliances. We did the appliances, which we just had to replace the dishwasher the other day. Um, so no appliances, we've had to add those. All the all the blinds, it doesn't come new houses don't come with blinds, none of that stuff. So just things that we had to do to it, and we're like, dude, if we because we bought it for, I mean, we're not asking too much over what we bought it for. So we're willing to just wait until we get what we want.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

And and that's okay. I mean, the hardest part about it is showing the house.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yep. Having it showed ready.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

I've literally vacuumed my house so many times in the last probably I've I've vacuumed my house every day. The whole house, you guys, the whole house. You know, I want them to see the lines when they come in. Yeah, the lines. I'm redoing the air freshener every time they come in, the little suncy thing by the door every time they come in. I I want every time a new showing, I I put a new one in there. Um, just all the things. I'm just trying to make it look like. And I guess another hard thing is I'm not with my bunny.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

We removed Bunny, Mr.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Arlington.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Yeah, we took him. Hey, he's not gone, guys. So babe. He's not gone. You guys know I would never let Mike do that. He is with my mom right now because it we didn't want his bedroom, first off. If people come to see the house, like the office that we had was the bun bun's room. So we didn't want people to come in and be like, what the heck is this? So we transformed it right back into an office. And then we took him to my mom's, and he is loving it at my mom's house. I went the other day and I was so mad. Like me and the kids have been going, and he just doesn't even care. He doesn't still. Yeah. He's actually because he has yeah, he has full roam of her house, you know, no doors being shut because you locked him in the his room, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Yeah, he was a bad bunny.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Yeah. Well, not anymore. Now he just and now he's just doing whatever he wants at grandma's house, and grandma doesn't grandma doesn't punish him. She gives him treats. Yeah. So he just doesn't care, you guys. And so I'm taking it harder than him. And actually, Carson woke up this morning and he said, Mom, I said what? He said, I didn't tell you that. He said, I had a dream that we had Mr. Arlington again. And I said, Honey, we will. We're gonna have him again. He's gonna be a he's he's fine. He's gonna be back. He's just he's on vacation. We're on vacation, he's on vacation. So my mom's such a blessing. She's actually watching the dogs and the bunny and the cats, and she's doing all the things right now. Yeah. And it actually worked out good because we got a lot of stuff going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

When we leave, there's a lot there's a lot to do still.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

But we needed this. We needed to step away for a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 10:36

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Yeah. And and it's been it's been great so far. We got here before everybody else, so we've been here for two days by ourselves, and it's been great. Um, and I think we should start doing that from now on, just coming a few days earlier because we did get this big beautiful house that has a pool, and um, it's right on the water, and it's amazing. And we've been just going to the beach with the kids and um going to new restaurants and oh man, all the fish. Oh, all the fish. It's just been really awesome. Like so relax. You guys, if you haven't been to Gulf Shores, Alabama, I highly recommend it. Um, like I said, this was our first time.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

And what's their slogan? Small town, big beach.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Yeah. I mean, because you're not gonna have the Duncan, which is kind of sad, but you're gonna have you're gonna have a you're gonna have a West Beach coffee house. Yeah, West Beach coffee house that we can just walk to right over here. Um Mike's been going to get us our coffee, yeah, which is gonna change because you know your sister's coming and she don't, she's a yeah, we need to go to the store. Yeah. His sister is like, you guys know Kimmy doesn't, she don't mess around when it comes to spending money.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

She's saving.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

She's been saving since the day I met. She is so frugal, and I love it.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

I tried to take notes.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Yeah, she you know, she knows what she's doing.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

She does. She just does not, she will not waste money on things that she does not need to waste money on. She's like, uh, absolutely not. I will do it. It's fine. Um, but yeah, so yep, that is what we're doing right now. And I will tell you, um, the other day I was so stressed. It was right before a showing because you guys have to understand before a showing, we have to get every animal out of the house, which we will not lie, we've been leaving one in the house because we can't catch him.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

It was under the bed. Can't get him.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

It's under the bed and we're just keeping him there. And I said, Well, I hope he doesn't come out because I've been giving them like 30 minutes before it's time to show the house. I will go ahead and give them a um like a sleepy thingy, like from the you know, it like I don't know. I anxiety treatment treat. Yeah. And because if not, they'll cry in the car. So, of course, I've been doing it. Well, Dutton is smart, you guys. He's onto us. Oh, he's on to us.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

We'll take him.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Not no more. He knew he was like, nope, because the first time he got in the car and he just slept the whole time and he loved it. Um, and he usually hates car rides, he screams the whole time. So now we go to give them to him and he won't take them because he's like, I I'm not, uh-uh. I ain't doing it.

SPEAKER_02 13:11

Yep. Put it together.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

Yeah, he's smart. So now, you know, he just getting in the car and he's crying the whole time. Like, well, not the whole time. He's just yelling really loud. So we just go park somewhere so that he can meow as loud as he wants, wherever. But so yeah, we did um, we were on our we loaded all the dogs and the cats up, and it's just been this craziness, you know. And I'm stressed. I go get in the car, and Mike's kind of looking at me like, you know, calm down a little. And we were like, let's just go eat lunch or whatever. So we're driving down the road, and somebody decides that they're gonna run a red like she explain it.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

So she had a yellow arrow, which is you yield to oncoming traffic before you can turn left. We had a green light. So we were traveling through, we were in the left lane of a two-lane highway. And uh, yeah, she per the first car went, and then she must have not been paying attention, and she followed the car in front of her.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Yeah, and I seen it like you, it's one of those things, you guys, where you can see it and you're like, oh, you know, this is not gonna be good. So you know you're about to get hit, and I just brace for impact because I've been in an accident before, so I literally just braced for impact. And he got the car. I don't even know how you did you guys. All I'm trying to say, first off, he slammed on the brakes in a in and she barely like it was within inches of hitting us. And I was just like, okay, whew, okay. God, first off, God showed up one thousand.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

By that one.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Yeah, because all I thought, all I could see was it was gonna hit my husband and my son on that side. And then I I was just like, oh, we have a like this is about to be the biggest nightmare ever with the dogs and the cats and my full car.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

Except for Arlington.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Yeah, and so I was literally like, I mean, I was pretty shaken up. I have PTSD from our last accident that I was in when I was little. So, and the so that was a lot for me. Um, but I go, okay, God was definitely like, he showed out that day. He showed out. I'm like literally afterwards, I'm like, oh my gosh, like praying. I'm like, so thank you so much. Because, you know, even in those moments where you're like stressed and everything, he took me right back down to where I needed to be. He was like, Listen, none of that matters.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Yeah. None of it. Yeah, yeah. We're just lucky that nobody was turning right on yes. Or right at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

And I did say if I was driving, we would have gotten the accident. Because I don't know how you maneuvered like that. Like, you guys, it was like really fast thinking on his end, because I'm telling you, there was no really time to think. And I still looked at him and I'm like, how did you just do that? Because if he would have gone another way, he would have hit another vehicle head on. So I was just like, I my mind wasn't thinking, and I would have just braced for impact because I'd be like, There's no way to get around this. But you somehow figured it out.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Grace of God.

SPEAKER_00 16:14

Yeah. And so now I said, Oh, that took a lot of a lot of years off my tires for sure. We need new tires now. Because you guys should have. We we went sliding for quite some time when he slammed on the brakes. Um, but yeah, so God definitely showed up and it took me back to where I needed to be because I did need to be there. I needed to be it put in my place to be like, none of this matters. You selling your house, God don't care about none of that right now. Like, that is gonna happen in and it's all in God's will, and what you're it's all gonna be fine. Bring it back to the basics with you know, we have time, we're in no rush. Yeah, you you think we're in a rush, but we're not in a rush. Like, it is all gonna be okay, everything's fine, it's all in his timing, and I just needed to take myself back there. And I was I was you know, afterwards, I was like, okay, I see you put me in my place, and I appreciate that. So that was that was good. And I looked over at you and you didn't panic. And I want to go into that because I was telling Mike this morning, you guys, that I feel so like so much stress for him sometimes, and I have to like back up and be like, Nope, let him carry it. But I also wanted him to know that I feel it because as the husband of the household, he's got a lot of jobs, and he and I'm always like, dude, I don't know how you do it because we rely on him so much for things, Carson, Chloe, me, and it's not like it's not like the things like you guys are like it's just like little things in life. Like we look at him, if he's panicking, we panic. If he's upset, it's kind of like you say they feed off me, I feed off you, you know? And so, like the other day, I was telling you something. It was something in bed where I told you something, and then you started to stress about it. You were like, I know, and I go, No, you can't be stressed because if you're stressed, I was that I don't know, but I was like, please don't. And you were like, you were like, okay, and you know, he it took him, you know, he had to he's like, All right, it's fine. I'm not, you know. But I'm saying this because there are times when I'm having like anxiety or panic or anything like that, and I look at him and I feed off of his energy, so it's nice if he if I have him next to me because he'll look at me and just be like, babe, you're fine, like it's not that serious. And I get taken right back down, but that's with the responsibility of so much because you guys have to understand being like transitioning our life to following Christ is we have decided that he comes first, and so we've also decided that you know we are following the Bible, we are living by the Bible because that is the guide for life, and so who has to know the Bible because he's the head of our household? Me, yes, and so it's one of those things where yeah, I'm in the Bible every day, but he's also learning every day because he is guiding this family, and I so I look at him and I'm I'm a little stressed for him sometimes because I'm just like, oh gosh, you have so much, like because he has to know how to guide us in the right direction. Know that, you know, when I'm starting to stress about these things, he has to take me back down to that that doesn't matter. Like, hey, like, you know, like take me back to the basics. When these kids are trying to, you know, do this or that, he's gotta be like, no, like that's not biblical, like we're not, we're not gonna do that. No, you're not gonna treat your mom like that, or no, you're not gonna do that. You're you know, just all these things, like he it's him, he, and that's why it's great that you're in school for or in seminary because he is learning all the things and it's been such a blessing. Um, and I'm right there with you.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Well, I'm not in my Bible as much as I should be because since we started school, it's just a lot.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

I'm a slow reader, so I gotta but I still think it's a blessing that every time I get in your vehicle, you're listening to a podcast about faith.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Yeah. I'm either listening to Josh Howerton or some other men's Bible thing.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

They're out of Cottonwood, Texas, or something like that. They're not as good.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

But yeah, so he's always uh I always feel like in you're just very you're always trying to fill yourself with something. But I I do I look at him because I don't I don't stress about about finances and stuff, you guys. I don't know if that's like I used to, and now I've learned that that's not my job. That's his job, unfortunately. I know, unfortunately, so I don't stress about them, but also with that comes I have to be responsible. And I think I've been doing a really good job.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

You have. I'm proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Yeah, I I am like I because I know now that's not my it's not my thing. So I'm very it's not like I'm asking him guys, can I buy this? Can I buy that? No, I'm just very mindful with what I'm buying. Like I'm like, you know, I I don't really need that, so I'm not gonna buy that. Um whereas before, when I was living without him being the one that, you know, stresses I would buy things because I'm like, oh, it's fine, I'll just do another TikTok video and make the money. And now I'm like, no, he's in charge of our finances, even though he is he's not the one paying the bills, he obviously knows like I tell him, Hey, like we have this do and this do. And he's the one who makes sure that we can go on this vacation. He's the one that makes sure we can go to the nice restaurants and still be okay with paying our bills and all the things. So I just look at him all the time and I'm like, man, that's stressful. It's but it's supposed to be that way.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Mm-hmm. Yeah, we're supposed to go out and work.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

So go out, work, make the money.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

And still guide the family.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

And guide the family.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Still guide the family. Yeah. So that's been one big thing. If I if I can really say anything that's people are like, oh, like what's been the biggest change? I think it's been like it's really just shifting everything. It's shifting everything to be like, he used to be like, oh, you know, not worry about those things, but now he has to. He's he's has to take the role of he is I hate to say that man of the house. The you're I like to call you the anchor. You're the anchor of our household. You really are. You're the anchor. Because I mean, I'm I'm here and I I'm I'm your teammate and I'm your partner in crime. But also I look at you for guidance for yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

It's just how it's gotta be, you know? It's God set our families up in this hierarchy for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Yeah. And teaching the kids that too. Like this is how it's supposed to be, you know. And I think another thing that people ask a lot, they're like, well, I just don't even know how to get started because you've made such a big transition. I get these messages a lot, you guys, and I'm always like, the number one thing I can tell you is open your Bible. Learn about him.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

People ask, oh, yeah, what's the best way? What's this way? The way that you're going to read the Bible. That's it. There's no secret to it.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Just get in it, and I promise you, all the rest is just gonna come because you're gonna learn about the things that he said, and you're gonna be like, oh, you guys are just going to realize that we've all thought this whole time there is no manual to life. There is yes, there is. He literally gave us, it's like the cheat code.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

And it's all right there, but yet people refuse. They refuse. And and I go back to that time where I had that, you know, supernatural experience with him, and he was like, It's this, and he threw down the Bible. This, this is it. You guys are making it so hard. Stop.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Well, we were influenced by worldly things.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Yeah. And so now it's like we just go back to the basics. Like, and I want you guys to know, don't make it harder than it is. We're on vacation, so did I have I been in my Bible? Yeah, I brought my Bible with me. I've been in my Bible, but I want you to know it, it's not where I'm actually like in it. Yesterday I did a little bit of a study, but nothing crazy. Um, and today, you guys, I just read. I didn't write in the Bible. I underlined a few things. I read, I soaked it in, and that was it. Sometimes I only read a verse, but that's it. But I'm he knows my heart. He knows I'm I'm wanting, I'm thinking of him and I'm wanting to be in the word and all the things. So it's nothing, you guys. It do your own thing. Just because I'm telling you go read the Bible, it doesn't mean open it and start reading it from front to back. It means open it, see what resonates with you that day, underline something, write a note next to it. That's it. It it's not you you don't think so hard into this because it's not that difficult. I'm just saying that because I thought it was so difficult in the beginning. I'm like, yeah, but where do I go? How do I do it? And those are questions that are valid questions, but also once I just started, now it's a regular routine.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Very long way.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

Yeah. Now it's a regular routine for me. Now I just know I need to look at my Bible in the morning. Like, that's just part of my morning routine. My coffee and my Bible. Sometimes I'll do a study, sometimes I'll just read something, sometimes like it's just one of those things. So just remember, don't make it harder than it's gotta be, you guys. Please don't. And people get hung up on the versions. What version of the Bible should I read? Now, in the beginning, I was reading reading the King James Bible, which I or ver version, KJV, and I have that, and that's like my main Bible. It's my main one. But I also like the NIV. So NIV is my other one. Now, NIV is so much easier to read, you guys. So if you find the NIV, ESV, CSV, whatever it is, you guys just start whatever works for you, okay? Like that is it. That it's what works for you. Now, some people are like, yeah, but there's things that have been taken out. Yes. And on these new Bibles, you guys, if you look down at the bottom of the page, it'll tell you what's been taken out. So it is good to have another Bible so that you can go back and look at that to be like, oh, that was taken out. Let me see why that was taken out, and then go look at it. You know? So don't let people try to tell you what Bible you should have and which one you shouldn't have.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

No.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Have a Bible that you can read. That is easy for you. Hey, I also want to say this outfit that I'm wearing, um, for those of you that can't see it, I guess it looks something like the Squid Games. Squid Games. I was about to say Hunger Games. Squid Games, um, because I just got ready and I came out of the bathroom and my son goes, uh, are you getting ready for Squid Games? He's a you guys stop. I was like, I came out and I told Mike, I said, I guess I'm getting ready for Squid Games, according to Carson.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

It's okay, you can win money on there.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

Oh, really? Yeah. So um that's it, yeah. I don't know. I'm like, okay, I guess it is what it is. But yeah, just going back to the whole Bible thing. Just don't don't take it.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

It just don't overcomplicate it.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Yeah, please don't. That's where you guys all go wrong.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

Just and then maybe you have a mentor. Somebody you can ask.

SPEAKER_00 28:01

Well, I wanted to say that. You have got to. That's actually the you you guys don't know how much I tap into my to a mentor. My pastor is I reach out to him and I'm like, even his wife. I I she's uh a mentor for me too. Um, and I reach out and I'm like, hey, like yesterday he called and talked to me for a while about something that I just couldn't understand. I just didn't understand it. You guys have to have that. You have to have a spiritual mentor, somebody you could reach out to to be like, hey, how did you like I don't understand that because I would think of it like this and then just you know work through it together. Because that's pretty much what we did. I mean, he's really good.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, he knows, you know, oh well, that was written in old Greek, yes, Arabic. So the translation to it is this, and then which implies to us that's how it's written, isn't how it's intended.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Yeah, he's so good, you guys. And like, and uh, he's also like very like, well, how did you like what what do you know about this chapter? Like, tell me what you know, and then I'll just tell him, and then he'll be like, all right, well, here is the rest with that, you know, and then it's just really nice to have somebody who's really can break it down in words because he knows us, so he knows like how to break it down to us where we're gonna be like, oh well, you know, it's not somebody like one of his theology friends that he can talk to. This is just Mike and Melinda who are just starting. So I like that a lot. Um, another thing I wanted to touch on is the fact that you guys, I I know this is weird and it feels weird because it's new, but anything new feels weird. Do you agree with that? Like, yeah, I want to touch on the fact of like praying. Because in the beginning, if you guys would have told me and Mike we need to pray together, I would have been like, huh? Well, you pray in your head and I'll pray in my head and we'll we'll call it a day. Um, and it's been like a learned, learned thing. And I'm that's why I say be in your Bible, because things will just come natural. Because now um if you if I need to pray, if we need to pray, we pray. It's not even a thing. It's not even a thing.

SPEAKER_02 30:15

Because you think it needs to sound like smart and educated and it needs to be these big words.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

You guys stop. Stop with it.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

It's just a conversation between you and the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

It is it, and I try to tell my sister now that now that I've told her that, I said, Londie, don't over overcomplicate it. You literally just talk to him, and you do not need to use big words. Now, maybe one day you may have these big words. Maybe you're gonna be blessed with that. But right now, just pray. So once you guys get back down to the basics of we just need to pray, then it just comes natural. And so there are days you guys, um, my son will just be like, Hey mom, can you pray for this or can you pray for that? And it might be something silly, but just remember that there's nothing silly enough for God. He wants you to pray about everything. Um, but me and Miker will be the first to pray. Like, I'll be like, Hey, like yesterday, was it uh we stopped in prayer, the kids were swimming, and a friend texted and said her mom um went to the hospital and uh said that her she had a stroke, and we stopped and prayed, and it didn't have to look like we were even praying. I mean, I don't think we shut our eyes. I think I just talked to the Lord. I said, Lord, I I know that you're with her today because she needs you the most, and please be with her mother and you know, and all the things we just said it we talked like we're friends and amen at the end.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Yeah, I mean that's part of being following Jesus. Yeah, you know, he has to know you.

SPEAKER_00 31:46

Yeah, and he knows where my heart was, even if it wasn't a prayer that, you know, and that's the thing, people do try to use these big words that's how he gets to know you through praying. Yeah. So just remember that you guys, if somebody says, and and that's another piece of advice I can give you. If somebody says, Can you pray for me? Stop right then and there. Just stop and pray. It doesn't be have to be anything fancy, and if you're not even around people, or if you don't want to say it out loud, don't say it out loud. But stop and pray. Stop and pray, please. So yeah, I uh yesterday I was re reading in Revelation, and it was like, um, he knows our minds and our hearts. And I'm like, yeah, that goes just goes to show because people are like, yeah, but can I pray, you know, can I can I pray in my mind and he knows, yes. Yes. Now I will tell you this there are times you like the day Charlie Kirk died, I got on my knees and I prayed. I um I I have gotten on my knees and prayed. I've prayed out loud. I because I do believe that Satan can't read your mind. And I want him to be scared sometimes at what I'm rebuking and what I'm saying to the Lord. Um so I do believe that sometimes it's very it's really good to be loud about it and and pray out loud and um let let those enemies hear it. I I do I I wholeheartedly believe that. Sometimes I'll just be in my car and I will start praying and I know that they're like, oh crap, she's protected by the blood of Jesus. I better get away, you know. So just just one of those things where if you really, really, really want something um really bad, I say fast and pray out loud.

SPEAKER_02 33:39

Yeah, if you don't pray, he doesn't know what you want.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

Yeah, and remember that's another thing.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

I mean, he knows what you want, but unless you ask, yes, then and you guys, that's another thing.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

If you haven't seen that, I think it's episode five, is my um supernatural experience I had with the Lord and why I've come to him and um surrendered our lives to him. But that's another thing he said. You never asked. You don't ask. How am I supposed to give you something you don't ask for?

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

And so now I ask for all the things, and even things that I'm like, you know, it's something silly, like a big closet at the new house. I'm like, can you give me a big closet?

SPEAKER_02 34:14

For buyers, buyers to accept our offer.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

Yeah. Like, you know, but then another thing that has brought me so much peace is I would probably be so much more stressed about this whole house thing if I wasn't following him. But I now have this whole if it's in his will. Like, he's gonna give us what we're supposed to be doing. It is what it is. Yeah, literally give it to him because he's like, you just have to trust me, and that's what I'm doing. I'm trusting you. I don't know what's going on. I don't know, I'll maybe never know, but I know that you know what's right, and I don't because you know what's best.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

So we were talking about uh how leaving the two it first, let's rewind. It was just like yesterday we started going to church. It was in May, church in the park.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

And I was like, uh we need to go, and I think you agreed. We were like, it was kind of mutual. We were like, we need to go to church.

SPEAKER_02 35:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

And we were making it complicated at first. We were like, we don't know which church to go to, which way do we go to? And then we're like looking, uh, maybe we'll go to this church, maybe we'll go and then I I just prayed on it. I remember being like, God, just please, I need to go, I need to be in a church. I know I need to be in one, and let's just go. And I said, please give me a sign that we're at the right church. And that was the day we showed up, and Pastor Jason was talking about how it was it was something that hit me so hard because he says, uh you do not idolize me. I you Christ is who you need to be idolizing. I am just up here as your pastor. And you know, I and and that like connected with me because we were scared because you hear about things in churches and you're like, Well, it matters.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

People put a lot of belief and faith and all that into their pastors, you know, they talk to them a lot, they spend, they counsel them. So choose wisely.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

And if they're not if they're giving you the wrong messages, you can tell because it's not in the Bible. Yeah. So get in a Bible-based church.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Yes. And that's important because I mean, my mom, and I hate to bring this up, but my mom was raised Catholic, and she said that they would just more tell you than teach you.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

And I was like, I don't know how people stay awake during those.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

I know. We've been to a few funerals.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

And they're rough.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

They're rough. Oh man. Even weddings. These are hard. That's all right though. But yeah, I it's just one of those things where um it's it's important to find a church that is relatable to you. And God, we were lucky and blessed. Not lucky. I like it. We are blessed that I asked the Lord, please show us that we're supposed to be at this church, and that day that happened, and I was like, Oh, okay, this is awesome. Um and we've never, I think we've only missed church since then, maybe twice, three times. And it's because we've gone to another church because we're out of town. We were in the quad cities or so, but we always make it a point to go to church unless we are in movement.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

My cup's empty at the end of the week.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

It is.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

You know, between school, work, all our responsibilities. My cup's empty.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

And it needs filled back up. Yeah. And I do that in church.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Absolutely. Absolutely. And where I was going with that was leaving and going to a new church.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

Yeah. I was because the saddest part about leaving Clear Lake is family, yes. The relationship between our kids and their grandma and uncle and stuff like that, that sucks. But uh the hardest part is finding a good Bible-based church again. But crazy story.

SPEAKER_00 38:25

Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me go into that because that's actually really crazy. So we actually, I didn't know that I would be upset. Like, I've been, I think that's been one of the hardest parts is um, you know, we've built relationships with these people. These people are our friends, these people prayed for us, and I'm sure they prayed for us when we didn't even know they were praying for us. And just, you know, it's literally what we're learning in school, how you become the body of the church and Christ as the head. And so we're all working together as a team and we're all doing these things. And it's just one of those things. I didn't think I would take it as hard as I have been, but when I went to go look for a house when we were in Florida, uh I we went by the church, and the church was, I mean, you guys have to understand, we live in a small town. Okay, so our church is not very big, and I like that. It's great, small. Everybody knows everybody. A couple services each day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Well, Sunday.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

We go by this church, and I'm telling you, it was huge. Oh, it was huge. And I'm like, oh my gosh, overwhelming, you know, like wow. And they said the youth program on Wednesdays is a thousand. You guys have to understand, I do the youth program on Wednesdays, and we do not even have close to a thousand kids. Um, I have six to eight kindergartners, is who I'm in charge of. So I couldn't imagine.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Yeah, the population of Clear Lake is 2300.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

Something like that.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

So a little bit overwhelming. Um, and then I had an anxiety attack shortly after, and I think that might have had a little bit of relation to it. Um, but I was a little bit worried about it, and I went to a woman's conference, and I was praying, I had been praying on it, like, you know, just put me where I need to be, put me and Mike where we need to be, because I do think that we are going to be such a blessing to a to a church. Like I think that because we've come so far and we're in seminary school and we're just trying to do all the things, and we literally want to help. We want to volunteer, we want to give our time, we want to do all the things. Um, like that's how I know we've come so far. It's like the old us would be like, we don't want to volunteer. No, uh uh, nah. But we're so mature now, I think, in our faith, and we're getting mature in our faith, I should say, that that brings us joy is going to volunteer our time at the church and be around like-minded people. So I'm at the woman conference and I tell uh my pastor's wife, who I've actually become really good friends with. Her name's Lisa.

SPEAKER_02 41:04

Lovely lady.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

Oh, she's amazing. And um I was telling her, you know, oh, just the anxiety and like, you know, just leaving them, it's just it's hard because I feel so drawn to go there, but also leaving everybody who we've made, you know, these uh they're like family now. It's it's hard. And she was like, Oh, I I hope, and this you guys, this is not a made-up story because it's not. She's like, Do you know the church's name? And I didn't remember it at first. I didn't. And she said, I hope it's Bayside. And I looked at her and I like I go, Oh my gosh, it is Bayside, and she goes, Shut up. And I was like, Yes. Now you guys think about this. Out of all the churches in Florida, she said, I hope it's Bayside. And she goes, Melinda, she's like, Me and Jason love that church. She's like, You're gonna be in the best hands. Like, that is she's like, it we have so many people from here that go. Because you know, we live in a snowbirds. Snowbirds, yeah. So she's like, I'm gonna get you in contact with them, and you know, you're gonna have a community. And oh my gosh. And just right there, like, I just felt a big sense of good, it's gotta be good.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

Yeah, they wouldn't lead us astray.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

They wouldn't. So that was huge, it was a huge moment. I came home and told Mike, and I was so excited about it. I was like, babe, they said that we're gonna love that church, and he was like, Really? I'm like, yeah. So that really got me excited. Um, that we can that we can go to a church that they approve of, you know, that they're like, Oh yeah, that's a good church.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

Versus being like, you guys, what kind of church are you going to? Well, I don't know. I don't have to have much to say on that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

So yeah, it's a relief. Because I mean, it's like a mega church. So right away I'm kind of turned off by it because how close can a pastor get to all these people? You know, and it's about your relationship with them.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

But I also think that's where um people like us come in and you're not just having to get close to the pastor, you're getting close to small group leaders, you're getting close to you know your community, like his disciples. Yeah. So it's it's just one of those things I I do believe it's all falling into place. We're going to be where we need to be and all the things, and it it's just a matter of time, and we'll be all right.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

It'll be cool to go there.

SPEAKER_00 43:46

Yeah, I'm excited for it. I'm excited to see where God leads us the next few years. Even when we're done with seminary school, I'm like, Where where are we gonna be?

SPEAKER_02 43:54

What are we gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 43:55

What are we gonna do?

SPEAKER_02 43:56

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

I don't know. There's there is a I kind of have Something that I'm like keeping my eye on. There's a hospital being built in our town there. It's a brand new hospital because this town is newer. They they don't have anything. And they're building a hospital. And I was like, okay, they're gonna need a chaplain. I think it'd be really cool to be a chaplain of a hospital.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

So that would be really cool. Um but also comes with if it's God God's will, because maybe he's gonna say, Girl, you ain't equipped for that. Girl, you ain't equipped for that.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

Well, I mean, think about what you're gonna do. Yeah, you know, you're encountering people when they're at their most vulnerable moments.

SPEAKER_00 44:37

But then I think that he equ he equips you.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

No, for sure. Yeah. There's just that's the atmosphere that you're getting, you know.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

Yeah, because we're his hands and his feet. And so I think he equips us, um in in even if because I I do think it would be great to do something like that, but also I'm like, I don't know where wherever you want to put me. I mean, yeah, I think it'd be cool to do that. I think it would be great, and I I feel like, you know, I would do great work for you, but also put me where you need me. So he's gonna put us where he needs us. Well, we really don't have a say on it.

SPEAKER_02 45:10

Yeah, I don't know either. Yeah, I have no idea what all of them are.

SPEAKER_00 45:13

We don't have a say. It's kind of like he's like, Yeah, you're you're just learning it. You're eating the scroll right now. Keep eating it.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

Yeah, we're just going.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

And I'll I'm I'm deciding. And right now you're on the right path because your heart said you where you needed to go, and you're new, you're moving. You're not sitting still. So many people are like, I should move. I feel like I should go, I feel like this is gonna be what's best for my family. And they're like, I don't really want to do it because that's gonna be a lot of work.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:44

And they stay. And even with new jobs and stuff, look at you. You're leaving a really, really well-paid job. You get paid very well.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

And you're leaving, and you don't even have a job lined up.

SPEAKER_02 45:57

Nothing.

SPEAKER_00 45:58

Nothing. What a risk. What a risk.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

It's fun.

SPEAKER_00 46:03

It is. It's like you know, you're just giving you give it to God.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

Give it to him.

unknown 46:09

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

You take it. I don't know where you're sending me, but send me. So and it reminds me of like how Charlie Kirk lived his life. He's like, I don't know, use me. And that's pretty much what we're doing. Use me, use us. We don't know what you want us to do, but we're following. We feel like we need to go. We have it on our hearts, heavy.

SPEAKER_01 46:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:32

Heavy. Um, and we know that we're gonna end up with your dad.

unknown 46:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

And that's that's a huge, you know, being there for him. Um, I think there's gonna be a time where he's gonna be uh with us full time. And so Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

I mean, I think him being with us, I think will extend his life.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

It will. Um and it'll be nice that your brother will be what an hour and a half away.

SPEAKER_02 46:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

Be able to Tony. Tony. I don't think Tony listens to the podcast. That's alright.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

Yeah, rude.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

Rude. That's all right. Um, but yeah, guys, so that's all that's going on right now. We are hungry. I my stomach's growing.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

Yeah. Breakfast.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

I need to go eat. Yeah. It's pretty early. Um, but yeah, got this done. We love you guys. Um, I'm gonna keep you guys all updated on all the things. And hopefully I'm gonna be able to record a podcast with my sister while she's here. We'll see. Maybe not. Maybe Kimmy. I don't know. Guess we'll just figure it out. I'm gonna see if any of them want to do it. If they want to, cool.

SPEAKER_02 47:42

Kimmy will do it.

SPEAKER_00 47:42

Kimmy will do it. Yeah. So I don't think my sister's ready. I don't think she's ready for a podcast, which is fine. Um, but all right, you guys. I love you. Have the best week and stay blessed. And we will be back again next week, as always. Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_02 47:58

Bye.