Homeschool Burnout, Routines, and the “Teacher Bestie” Every Mom Needs | Katelyn Deville

Thinking about homeschooling but feeling overwhelmed, underqualified, or unsure where to begin? In this episode of The Gentle Year, Knikki Hernandez sits down with Katelyn DeVille, founder of The Home Based Method, to talk honestly about why families are leaving traditional school settings and how parents can begin homeschooling with more confidence and less fear.

Katelyn brings a unique perspective as a former public school teacher, homeschool graduate, and one-to-one homeschool coach. She shares why parents do not need to be trained teachers to create a meaningful education at home, why routine matters before curriculum, and how families can avoid the common mistake of trying to recreate public school inside the house.

This conversation is especially helpful for homeschool moms who are navigating burnout, decision fatigue, isolation, curriculum confusion, or the pressure to make homeschooling look perfect. Katelyn explains why every family’s homeschool should look different, how shorter school days can still be effective, and why having support, community, and a “teacher bestie” can make the transition feel lighter.

Whether you are considering homeschooling, just getting started, or already deep into the journey, this episode offers practical encouragement for building a homeschool rhythm that actually fits your child, your family, and your real life.

This episode is sponsored by Your Wish Is Your Command, a transformational success and mindset program focused on helping people reshape the way they think, create, and pursue personal growth. USE CODE YWFREE to access the audio for FREE.

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This episode of The Gentle Year is powered by Turning The Tide Tutoring, Shared Humanity: A Field Agent's Journey into the Human Mind, personalized academic coaching for students who think differently, and Acting With Pippi, where creativity and confidence come to life on and off the stage.

This episode is also sponsored by Your Wish Is Your Command, a transformational success and mindset program focused on helping people reshape the way they think, create, and pursue personal growth.

Some of the links in this episode may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I only share products, programs, and resources that I personally use, believe in, and genuinely feel have had a meaningful impact on my own life and work. Thank you for supporting The Gentle Year and helping make these conversations possible.

🎙️ The Gentle Year with Knikki Hernandez

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

If you've ever considered homeschooling before and thought to yourself, wait, could I actually do this? This episode is for you. Today on The Gentle Year, I'm talking with Caitlin DeVille, founder of the Home-Based Method, about what it looks like to start homeschooling without completely overwhelming yourself. We talk about why families are leaving traditional school settings, why you don't have to recreate school at home, and why homeschool moms need support just as much as their kids do. And before we get into the conversation, I want to thank the sponsors of the show, Turning the Tide Tutoring and Acting with Pippy. These are both wonderful resources for homeschool families. Turning the Tide Tutoring helps students strengthen reading, writing, thinking, and communication skills in a personal, one-on-one way. And acting with Pippi gives kids a chance to build confidence, expression, voice, creativity, and presence through acting classes. Yes, with the real Tammy Aaron, the original Pippi Longstocking. So whether you're already homeschooling, considering it, or just curious about what this world even looks like, I think you're going to really appreciate Caitlin's calm, honest, and encouraging approach. Thank you again for listening to The Gentle Year. And you guys have no idea how long I've been waiting to have her on the show because she's talking about a subject that I've been wanting to have on this podcast for so long now, and that is homeschooling. I'm surprised we haven't gotten to it up until now, but we are here. Today is the day. So, Caitlin, please tell us a little bit more about yourself, your journey, anything that you feel is going to be relevant to this conversation about homeschooling.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

All right, thank you for having me. So I my name is Caitlin. I am the founder of the Home Based Method. I help parents launch their homeschool in 90 days or less without needing to be a trained teacher. And how I started the home-based method was I was in public school uh for 10 years. I was a public school teacher. Uh I got my master's degree in education. And my first couple of years of teaching, I was in mainstream education, large classes, and it just wasn't quite fitting with me. So when I moved a couple of hours away from my hometown, I started teaching English as a second language. And our curriculum, we were allowed to really choose our curriculum, and then we were allowed um very small classes. So I really got to know my students, and I noticed maybe mainstream teaching wasn't wasn't something that I was necessarily suited to. A lot of people are. But I started noticing with this kind of one size fits all approach in traditional school settings, uh, families were leaving to get to to bring their kids home to kind of get their kids more of what they needed. But they were walking away with just like a packet of papers, like for the homestead um that that's available in Louisiana. Um, and so I realized that like maybe the traditional school system wasn't fitting me anymore either. So I really identified with those families. So I actually left the public school system and I started the home-based method. And I bring my education background, but I also bring the fact that I myself am a homeschool graduate. So, due to a health issue, when I was in ninth grade, uh, ninth grade was my last school year in the traditional school system. And I actually graduated um from homeschool, uh, finished out my last three years of high school at home. And uh so I thought it would be cool to combine my education expertise with the fact that I was a homeschooler because parents parents are so capable of teaching their kids. They just just like any teacher, they just need resources. Um, and so that's why I started the home-based method. So I could partner with families to get to to get their kids exactly what they needed, um, without that overwhelming second-guessing that can come with starting up your homeschool.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Absolutely. Well, thank you for sharing that. I love that you pointed out that your own child is still in public school. That's great. And you also have a very individualized approach to all of this. You take an individualized approach to homeschooling with all of your families. I'm assuming that you're tailoring all the resources that you're providing to these families and the consulting and the coaching and the support on a family-by-family basis. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_00 5:44

Yeah. So I only do one-to-one coaching because we are going to partner together to build an education that suits your family's needs. Um, you know, just like a traditional school system, people homeschool for all kinds of different reasons. I personally homeschooled because of health issues. People homeschool because they want to travel and they want to take school on the road. Like there are a lot of reasons to homeschool. And so we take all of those reasons, your why for homeschooling, and then along with your needs, are you terrified of math? Like a lot of a lot of parents that I talk to, math scares them to death. Um, are you an avid reader or are your kids reluctant readers? We take all of that in into account because there is no perfect curriculum. There are some really good ones out there. Um, but the best one's still not going to fit your child perfectly. I walk alongside my families and I teach them how to connect the dots in the curriculum so that the light bulbs go off. Um, a teacher partner, you have a teacher bestie in when you teach in public school, you just kind of find your person. Um, homeschool moms need a teacher bestie too. Like you need somebody you can go to and be like, okay, this this just I know it's written in English, but it doesn't look like English. Like, can like we talk this out, or um, I'm just not feeling it today, or they're not feeling it today. Like, all of that is normal in education. And when you have a person to partner along with you, uh, it takes out the the loneliness of that and the constant, like parents I hear a lot, they're like, Am I doing this right? Um, are they gonna be okay? Like, are they gonna fall behind? Having someone there to to walk with you and kind of look outside your situation, um, to just make you help you with minor t tweets or just with mindset and just sitting with it and saying, like, okay, teaching another human is difficult. Like, we we're gonna kind of share this burden together so it's not so heavy.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. So I love the fact that you are one of those special people that can think for themselves, but you don't feel the need to have to think for other people, if that makes sense. Just because I know a lot of people that, you know, they they're always pushing their their own views all the time, not on the podcast or anything like that. But if you take social media and you go to the homeschooling groups, the people, there are some very fanatical people about their homeschool beliefs. And I support those beliefs for them, but you don't have to push that ideology onto other people. And it's the same for literally anything. It could be political, it could be your beliefs about college, it could be your beliefs about private schools versus micro schools versus public schools. I mean, anything in this realm, everybody, uh not everybody, but a lot of people have these very strongly rooted beliefs and they think that their way is the way, the the one size fits all way. And I'm like, no, that's that's not it at all. So I appreciate the fact that you think for yourself, but you don't necessarily think for others. Appreciate that. And also, you're right that there are a ton of reasons why people homeschool. It's not just because something's not working in the public education system, it could be very personal, like health. So it doesn't necessarily come back to an indictment on public schools, even though there's legitimate things to criticize. But you you mentioned that moms and parents sometimes feel this isolation. They feel like they need that teacher bestie. And one thing I just want to say this, I want to point this out, is that for the students that I have taught in public schools, their parents are so many of them, I'm sure that there are some that are not, but many of their parents are so appreciative of what we do as teachers because they're like, oh my gosh, I've been homeschooling my kid for this number of years, and I am so thankful for you teaching my child now. What can I do? What resources can I bring? They are some of them are the most generous people, the homeschool parents, because they know they they get it from the teacher's perspective. So, anyway, back to the isolation and the feelings of burnout. I was looking up some statistics before you came up on the show, and it said that mothers particularly report high levels of emotional exhaustion, decision fatigue, social isolation. One stat also said that 50% of homeschool moms reported burnout systems or burnout symptoms at some point during their year. So, can you talk to us a little bit more about how you help them navigate that? Before we get into Caitlin's answer, I want to encourage you to take a look at the Charlottesville Admiral SPCA. Sometimes it starts with a wagging tail, a gentle purr, or even just a curious little glance from an animal who is waiting for the right person to come along. If your family has been thinking about adding a pet to your home, or if you simply want to meet some of the animals in the community who are looking for love and care, the shelter is open daily from noon to 6 p.m. Eastern time. You can also view pet profiles anytime online at casbca.org. Stop by, meet the animals, and maybe make a connection that could last a lifetime. Now back with Caitlin Deville.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Absolutely. Um teaching just in any setting can be very heavy. It can be emotionally exhausting. Uh, and that, of course, is not um homeschool moms are not exempt from that. Um, but that's where that one-to-one help really comes in, because if something's not working, we will uh tweak it until it does. If you just need someone to talk to, like if life is just feeling like super heavy and it's affecting school, like we can talk through that. Having someone to help you lift that emotional burden um and share that emotional burden means that you can go a lot farther without the emotional fatigue. That's not to say it's never gonna happen, but having a plan for when it does happen that you can fall back on. So that's part of of what we do uh in the home-based method, is we make a plan for mom. Like how uh will she feel supported? Um, what is her what is her community? Before it's a three-month program. Now you do have the option um to continue working with with me past that point, but we start with three months to really get the your homeschool uh kicked off. And toward the middle to the end, we uh uh uh start to connect you with a homeschool community. Some people love co-ops, that's a group of homeschoolers that come together for different reasons, some people don't, and that's okay. It's that's why I do one-to-one, because it's really what is best for you. But we'll find you a community to be able to plug in so that it's not so isolating, so that it's not so overwhelming. Um, because when things get heavy, it's very important that you have a place to rest and we build that in to your homeschool routine and system.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Yeah, I appreciate that. So I was looking at some searches. I said, what are some of the key search terms that people are typing into Google or AI and looking for answers for? And one of the top answers was homeschool burnout and then feeling overwhelmed. That was some of the two most popular posts in that. And then I did see a post on Facebook recently. It it got a lot of hate, not gonna lie, but there was a post that a parent had made about how they took their child out of public school. They homeschooled, and the person admitted in the post that they had been following a lot of homeschool moms, sort of these Pinterest ready moms and the social media influencers in the homeschool communities. And I've seen a lot of those videos too, where they make it seem like homeschooling is this super simple, super peaceful, super loving, you know, place where everybody can just be free and all of that and frolic in the fields and whatever else. And this person had started homeschooling their child because of that, but they had no foundation, no understanding of what homeschool was actually going to look like in their in their lives. So a lot it in one of the other search terms that I found, people were looking for routines that's foundational. They were looking for combining homeschool and work. How do I, if I have a job, how do I do this at the how do I homeschool while I'm working at the same time? Um, how many hours a day do I homeschool? And then, of course, the curriculum, like you said, which is a major topic of conversation for homeschool parents and families and stuff. So I'm wondering if you can speak to us a little bit more about the foundational basis for a successful transition to homeschooling.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

So one of the one of the things that people talk about when they first start homeschooling. And I've I've talked to moms that have been homeschooling a while, and what is it you wish you knew? And they most of them say something to the effect of they wish they wouldn't have tried to recreate school at home at first, and they would have also taken some time to de-school. So and when you get into the homeschool communities, you'll start to see more about de-schooling. It's basically the process of allowing your family to let go of the traditional school system. Um, and um a lot of that has to do with we f we start with a routine. If you don't have a routine, you're going to feel that burnout. You are going to feel the the weight of it. It's going to feel very difficult. Um, so we look at a routine that works with your family's rhythm. Whether you're still working or whether you have a you have young kids at home that are not going to be homeschooling yet while you've got older kids or um uh whatever your personal situation is, we will find a routine and we will create a routine and then tweak it um until it does feel like a well-willed machine. Um, because without routine, curriculum doesn't really matter because if if you can't uh get into where things are like falling into place and um everyone's just gonna feel like very dysregulated, very um just like on end. It's gonna be like your nerves are just on end all the time. Um, but if you have a routine, then that um that prevents a lot of that. Um and it also gives you that safe place to land.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Nice. So can you give us an example of uh perhaps a specific routine that you have created alongside one of your families that are that are currently working with you and being coached by you? Because I want the listeners to have a visual of what this could actually look like in their day. Now I know that everybody's family situation is different, but having an example sort of stimulates the mind and all of that. So could we could we hear about a specific example of a routine from you, please?

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Yes, sure. So the way this looks like with uh one of my family's is um they're uh two grades apart. Uh the students are, both of them are in school. Um so what mom does is at their kitchen table, um, they sit down with their curriculum that I walked through um with them to to pick out. Um and it's almost like a workshop approach. That's that's what works for that family. Um they're working on the same subjects at the same time, but they are working on different um workbooks essentially. And so uh the mom will work with one for a few minutes, um, and then the other, and she'll just go um because they're both pretty independent learners. Um, so so she'll go between the two of them. Um and they um they'll switch subjects at the same time. Um, and then they might take a break for lunch and then come back. Um they school um uh only about two hours a day. Um it they stick with the four core subjects um and uh uh English reading, uh English, math, science, and social studies, they stick with those four um because they wanted a very like poor academic approach. Um and so it takes them typically about 30 minutes a subject. Um, and they they move through those. And then at the end of their school, they clean up their school station. Um, and then they generally then they go about their day. Um both of them like to play outside, so they do a lot of that the afternoon um because their their school day is short, so they have the the freedom to do that. They also um live near their grandparents, so they go see them a lot too as well.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Very nice. So a lot of people think that because the school day is shorter, that they're that homeschool kids are falling behind. You've got seven, eight hours in school, two hours at home. What do you say to that argument?

SPEAKER_00 20:49

When you are getting and giving one-on-one instruction or like two, one to two instruction, there's no dead time, there's no wait time for other people to catch up. We're not having to go over things that maybe third of the class needs help with, you're only uh working with the skills that that student needs. Um, so when you're only working with one or two students at a time and it's so individualized to that student, it goes very quickly because there's nothing extra in a classroom, but in a as a classroom teacher, you know, you have to build in. Um, and and there's there's nothing wrong with this. This is how it works in in public school because we have 20, 30 kids in a room. Um, you have to build in for all of those learning styles. You have to build in for who's not understanding what. Um, and when you have to do that for 30 kids, So a lot of time is condensed just because you've got it's not 15 minutes of continuous working and a public school after. Um and so you're losing all of that on that. They would be looking around, or they would be maybe doing an extra activity or something like that. Um that's just not happening at homeschool because the the information is getting them to them a lot quicker.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Yeah, and that is very true. I can definitely vouch for that as a tutor. There have been so many kids who have tutored over the years, they've been tutoring for 16 years now. And people will often say, I've heard it time and time again, they'll say, I've learned more with you in a more in an hour than I have in years at school. So this is very true about how the education does get to them, the content, the information does get to them a whole lot faster, and they make faster progress. And when they're making faster progress, guess what truths of their confidence? So it's it's an interesting um concept. But I like the fact that basically what you're talking about is compressing time. We're compressing time, we're taking all of the extras out and taking all the redirecting, the classroom management, the discipline, all these other things, and we're compressing it into that specific child in a shorter period of time. And we can, and because of that, we have freedom. We have freedom to visit our grandparents, we have freedom to spend time with our families. And these are like the top complaints that public school kids have about going to a public school, especially as it relates to homework, that they feel like they don't have time to do the necessary things like spending time with their family or just resting, like you said, or doing or participating in a hobby or an extracurricular activity that they enjoy personally, that they have a passion for. And it is true that all of these extras really do dilute the water, so to speak, in the in the education aspect of public school. So I can definitely see where you're coming from with that. Um, okay, so what I would like to do now is thank you first. I want to thank you personally for being here on the gentle year. That will conclude part one. And for those of you guys who are interested in listening to what Caitlin has to say for part two, we are going to go into these very specific steps. If you are thinking about transitioning from public school to homeschool, she is going to talk to us specifically about how to do that. So I look forward to seeing you guys again in part two. And Caitlyn, I want to thank you for being here on the temple here. One of my biggest takeaways from this conversation with Caitlin is that homeschooling does not have to look like public school moved into your kitchen. It can be personalized, it can be flexible, it can be built around your child, your family, and your actual season of life. And as Caitlin reminded us, the first step is not always finding the perfect curriculum. Sometimes the first step is creating a rhythm that helps your home feel steady. I also loved her honesty about homeschool moms needing support because no parent is meant to carry everything alone, whether your child is in public school, homeschool, private school, or somewhere in between. We all need encouragement and clarity and people who can help us believe that another way is possible. So as you leave this episode, I hope you give yourself permission to think differently about your own family's rhythm. And remember that your path does not have to look like anyone else's to be right for you. A message from your wish is your command. It will have radically changed my life.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Your wish is your command.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Your wish is your command.