Can You Afford to Homeschool? The Honest Conversation | Katelyn Deville (Finale)

Is homeschooling only realistic for families with financial flexibility? And how do homeschooled children develop friendships, independence, maturity, and the social skills they need for adulthood?

In Part 3 of this conversation, homeschool coach and former public school educator Katelyn Deville joins Knikki Hernandez to discuss the practical and social realities of homeschooling. They explore how working parents and families with limited resources may be able to build a homeschool plan around their individual needs, schedules, and communities.

Katelyn also addresses one of the most common concerns about homeschooling: socialization. She explains how children can develop meaningful social skills through co-ops, extracurricular activities, church communities, theater, sports, everyday errands, and intentional interactions with people of different ages.

The conversation also examines whether homeschooled children mature differently, how parental modeling influences emotional development, and why children still need boundaries, responsibility, conflict, and opportunities to do difficult things.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

• Whether homeschooling is possible for families with tight finances
• How working parents can approach homeschooling
• Where homeschool families can find community and social opportunities
• How technology can help families connect without replacing in-person relationships
• Whether homeschooled children tend to mature faster
• The role parents play in shaping a child’s social environment
• How to prepare homeschooled children for independence and the “real world”
• Why child-led learning still requires structure, responsibility, and boundaries
• What families can learn even if homeschooling does not ultimately work for them

Katelyn also shares how families can begin exploring whether homeschooling is the right fit and explains why parents do not have to make every decision perfectly. They simply need to move forward with good intentions, remain willing to learn, and make changes when necessary.

Learn more about Katelyn Deville and her homeschool resources at TheHomebaseMethod.com.

This episode is sponsored by Your Wish Is Your Command, a transformational success and mindset program focused on helping people reshape the way they think, create, and pursue personal growth. USE CODE YWFREE to access the audio for FREE.

Join The Gentle Year Facebook Group

This episode of The Gentle Year is powered by Turning The Tide Tutoring, Shared Humanity: A Field Agent's Journey into the Human Mind, personalized academic coaching for students who think differently, and Acting With Pippi, where creativity and confidence come to life on and off the stage.

This episode is also sponsored by Your Wish Is Your Command, a transformational success and mindset program focused on helping people reshape the way they think, create, and pursue personal growth.

Some of the links in this episode may be affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I only share products, programs, and resources that I personally use, believe in, and genuinely feel have had a meaningful impact on my own life and work. Thank you for supporting The Gentle Year and helping make these conversations possible.

🎙️ The Gentle Year with Knikki Hernandez

Turning The Tide Tutoring
Sponsored by Turning The Tide Tutoring — empowering students and parents to grow and thrive.

Acting With Pippi
Acting with Pippi is acting program that helps youths build courage & presence through performance.

Your Wish Is Your Command
A resource for deepening awareness around thought patterns, perception, and intentional response.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This episode is supported by Your Wish is Your Command, Acting with Pippy, and Turning the Tide Tutoring, which provides affordable, personalized tutoring in reading, writing, communication, and academic skill building for students who need focused support without the cost of a large tutoring program. Now, let's return to part three of my conversation with Caitlin Deville as we discuss the financial realities of homeschooling, socialization, maturity, and prepping children for the real world. Welcome back to The Gentle Year. Welcome back to The Gentle Year, everyone. We are here with Caitlin Deville. She's been an amazing guest who's really helped us to understand the landscape of homeschooling in today's modern world. Now we are going to get into the financial components. So, Caitlin, a lot of families feel that it takes a certain amount of privilege to homeschool and that it's basically financially impossible to do if you're a working parent or someone with limited financial means. What do you say to that?

SPEAKER_02 1:09

I I definitely hear that. And I know that in today's times when finances do seem kind of uncertain, um some families still do have two people that that work. One generally works inside the home as far as working at home. But many homeschool parents do still work, and that's why that routine becomes it comes into play and it's super important so that you can maintain that balance. But it's such with finances, it's such an individualized thing. Um and such an individual as far as what what does that look like for our family and what options do we have for out at homework or as far as scheduling goes. Um, and so that's just one of those things that we sit, we sit down and we talk about what options do we have um and where where can we build our schedule around our financial needs um as far as someone both parents still working.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Is it doable if your finances are tight or if you're barely making ends meet?

SPEAKER_02 2:37

For many families, yes, but I'm not gonna pretend that sometimes it isn't. Um, you know, I'm never gonna suggest that somebody um, you know, just quit your job and then you can't make your mortgage. Like you do have to really sit down and look at what options are available and can we switch to an out at home work um or something like that? Are there times that you may not be able to make it happen? Perhaps. Um, you know, but a lot of families are able to make it work um by forming a plan um and looking at what is available in their area or from working from home. Um, is it always possible? No. But is it more possible? Um in many situations, yes. And it it's just really a one-on-one issue.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

There's always hope, right? Even my grandma, she said, where there's a will, there's a way. So that's the way that I look at life personally. But there is a lady who I want to bring up to the listeners. Her name is Katie Perviance, and I might have to actually have her on the show, but she is someone who I think would be a great resource for people who feel financially limited in terms of homeschooling. She is an amazing wealth of resources. She taught in public school. I believe she also taught internationally. She decided one day that the modern education system just wasn't for her. She decided to create her own micro school in Washington State, I believe. I think it's called the Spokane Learning Academy. So if you type that in, I think it's S-P-O-K-A-N-E, Spokane Learning Academy. Read her Substack articles, get some familiarity with her, how she teaches, how she does things, and you might find a little bit of inspiration that you need if this is something that you really want to do and you feel like it's the right thing for your family. Again, Katie Perviance, P-U-R-V-I-A-N-C-E, I think. But check her out, read her Substack articles, and I think that you're going to find a wealth of information there. Okay. So Caitlin, question. So we're going to go into the socialization piece now. What does healthy socialization look like for homeschoolers? Because it's different in the public school sector. So how do we go from, you know, being at home all day to getting the socialization that we all need as human beings?

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Sure. So that's where live skills are going to come in. Um, and like a lot of people, as part of their homeschool, they will go like to the the grocery store during the day. Um, and you interact with the cashier, and um, that's part of learning that socialization. Have your child start ordering in a restaurant. Um, just those those socialization moments that they're going to need outside uh of those life skills. We are going to practice those just like we practice anything else. Um, and then as far as peer goes, that is something that that we do at the home-based method is we we do look at um what is available in your area. Your local Facebook is a fantastic resource for this because they will have mom groups that will that you can find mom meetups um where you do get together. Co-ops are a great socialization resource resource um where you get together with other homeschoolers. Um so Facebook and Facebook groups do tend to be a really good resource of finding what's in your community already. Um, and then extracurriculars, uh public. So uh there was a law passed not too long ago where homeschool kids can actually play sports at like with a public school. Or a state law? I think it's a federal law.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Um is the the Tim Tebow law. Do not take this as legal information. You need to consult with an attorney to make sure all of the information for your specific needs is accurate. With that being said, I did look up some information on the Tim Tebow law, and this is what it says. It says the Tim Tebow law is not a federal law. These bills are passed at the state level, and rules vary completely depending on where you live.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Um, and uh so sports are still available to to your student. Me personally, my socialization when I was at homeschool came from our church community, but I was also involved in a local theater. Um, so there are there are avenues of peer socialization available. Um, and you just kind of have to do a little research to see what is available in in your area. Um and um it just takes it takes a little planning on the front end. Um, but once you're plugged into a community, those things happen um pretty pretty naturally and regularly.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

From your perspective, are is there a set number that you feel like in terms of extracurriculars that kids should be involved in at the at the homeschool level? Because kids and public schools, they're involved in like 50 different things.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

Really with everything, just depends on your family, but it's it's probably good if if it feels like a good fit of offering like one a year so we don't um overwhelm um whether it's we're just involved in this co-op or maybe we play with a team or something like that. Um, but uh see how like one uh socialization opportunity works for your family, um, and then and then go from there. Um and and when you start to go down the homeschool path, people are like, socialization, like what about socialization? Socialization happens a lot more naturally than you think it does, and once you kind of like get in that mindset of that, you'll start to to notice how it flows. Um, and it it becomes much less of an issue once you find your community and your people.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Yeah, definitely. So, in terms of socialization, technology plays a huge role in all of our lives, and I think to some degree it has made a lot of people much more socially averse. I've seen a lot of quote unquote social anxiety sort of pop up and in today's world, and I think a lot of that is technology technologically induced. And so I'm wondering what your experience is in helping families navigate that situation because it does impact how people are socializing, kids are connecting more and more online and sort of less and less in person. So, what are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_02 10:16

No, so this is where we can we're we're starting to see in 2026, people are starting to draw back to a little more of tradition of like where we're getting out into our communities. Um, and that's where technology can aid us because we can look on our local Facebook groups and see um where those things are are meeting up. Um and so we we use the technology to kind of just get information, but getting out into your community, like that is an amazing resource and just like uh intentionally backing away from from the technology, or um, not entirely, uh it's a good tool, like we uh we have it, so we should use it, but uh using it intentionally and then getting into our community. A lot of people homeschool because they do want a more traditional approach. Um, and that often means very people-centered, like we're going to go and we're going to meet people in person. Um, that doesn't mean that great socialization can't happen on the internet, but like not not being afraid to like get in your local community um and just return back to to being a part of a community. And that that's kind of a big shift that we're seeing, I think, in 2026.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Yeah, definitely. I would agree with that. So, do you think that kids mature faster emotionally when they are homeschooled versus public schooled? The reason why I ask is more so because in my own experience, I I teach high school kids. And some, I mean, the kids are very sweet. They have a ton of endearing qualities and and all of that. And we have great connections and relationships with one another. And it's it's just a good place for, it's a good place for me to be personally to watch them grow. But I have noticed that the maturity of the typical high school student is much lower than what I think it personally should be. So do you feel that homeschool kids actually, do you think that homeschooling maybe speeds up that process of maturity? Because a lot of the homeschool kids that I've taught have been very mature. Some, not all, some not all. But I'm just curious to know what your opinion is on the differences between the maturity levels of public school and homeschool kids.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

It can, but it goes it goes back to what modeling they're seeing. Um, so if you think about um, I have my daughter's an only child. If you think about only children, they often do tend to seem a little more mature because in their socialization, it's a lot of them, they're getting a lot more of that one-on-one time with a parent. Um, and so it can be um it can be expedited, but that also goes back to the compression of the of the time. They are getting a direct model of what it looks like um to socialize, to deal with things, like it's very close proximity. So, like we have all of these learning moments where you're not just learning academics, but you're learning life skills and how to deal with life, and they're going to imitate what they see. So if they are homeschooled, they may just have a closer proximity to their model, um, which is the parent, even not in a homeschool situation, like you do often model after your parents. Um, so that is why they can mature faster, just because of the compression time um of their getting that one-on-one teaching, not just in academics, but also in life skills.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

That's a really interesting point. I like the fact that you address the compression of time, because that is true when a child is nearest an adult and that adult is very mature in the way that they communicate and they're also mature in their emotional stability, then the kid is going to grow up naturally to embody that as well. Not in every case, but I have seen that happen before. I remember being on a plane one time where there was this kid, and he was, I don't even know, 11 maybe. And I was talking to him, and I was probably in my 20s at the time. And I felt like I was talking to an adult. He was so mature, but his dad and his family were also military, and they also were the type of people who highly, highly valued achievement and academics and world travel and those kinds of things. And so, because of all of that, this kid was just on another level, probably far more mature than some college students because of what he had been involved with and who he had been around all of his life. And it wasn't just his parents. No doubt his dad was probably pretty high ranking in the military. So he probably was around a lot of other well, very, very successful adults. And you could tell that success was just embedded into this child, the way he spoke, the way he talked. It was very different than what I personally have experienced working in the public education system. But you make a good point. The kids are going to copy or mimic what they see and who they see. Now, question. This is a little bit more controversial. There was a video one time of a well-known, I don't know his name, supposedly he's well-known, but I'll say it in quotation marks, a well-known influencer that it was kind of like a Grant Cardone type person. And he, I don't know if it was him or somebody else. I don't think it was him, but it was somebody who said, it might actually have been him, now that I think about it, sorry. But anyway, there was somebody who said, like, don't you want your kids to be socialized? Don't you want your kids to go to school and get socialization? And I don't know if it was Grant, it could have been somebody else, but somebody said, Why would I want my kids to be socialized by these kids? And based on that assessment, I know I haven't shown you the video, you'd have to, you know, search it for yourself on Instagram. But what's your initial gut reaction to a statement like that?

SPEAKER_02 17:07

It it is like homeschooling, what you get is you get to decide. You get to decide what is speaking into your kid. In public school, you don't you don't always get that just because it is for everyone. You they may be in class with 29 other kids. Um but with homeschool, you get the power of choice, and what they see is what they are going to be socialized by. So if that's not sitting right with you, then you get to decide we're going to pivot as a family. Um, it's just the same as if you decide maybe uh maybe you're going to move away your child from this friend, or um, maybe we're not gonna watch certain movies, or maybe we're going to um bring other elements in. Um those those things are decided by the parents, and you get to decide what pours into your kids. Um, so if they are being socialized in a way and are around socially, some someone that doesn't sit right with you, then that that probably will throw up some parental alarms. Um, and that that's just and what that looks like for each family is different. What you care about may even change, like between but depending on this the stage of parenting you're in, um, and you get that power of choice to decide, like if you don't want your child socialized by this group, you get to move them to a different group.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Yeah, how diplomatic of you. Great answer. Fantastic answer. But it was very true. You you were diplomatic, but you didn't dance around the question, and I appreciate that. So, last and final question, or well, I got two more questions for you, but this is like the the main question that kind of culminates our interview for today. And it's about culture shock. Are our kids, or how do we prepare our homeschool kids for the real world? And I say that in quotation marks, so that they don't necessarily experience culture shock and you know run right back into mommy's arms, so to speak.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

You've gotta you've gotta get your child out there. Um, this is where intentional life skills come in. Like your your child from an age appropriate, like, can they go to the grocery store and go from making the list to going through the cashier? Like, can they do all of those things? Um it's just like if we shield them from everything, then they are not going to know how to deal how to deal with those things. But instead, what we do is we let them experience a little more independence while we're still near, so that we can become a coach and we can help them grow in those socializations, um, so that we can. And one of the things that you will hear in homeschool communities um is some people are completely like, we want it to be child-led and we want only to do their interests. Your child needs to know how to do hard things. Um, your child needs to know, like, if they struggle with a subject, yes, there are things we can do to make it easier, but they still need to know how to deal with conflict and they need to be able to do things that they don't necessarily love. Um, I don't love doing dishes, but I'm still going to do them every day because we we have to, um, because that's what serves my family. So we're we're going to to model how to do hard things and then give them a safe place to do those things they may not necessarily like. Tours are a great example. Socializing, have start having them order in restaurants, start having them go to the checkout lane that has a cashier. Those sort of things present those opportunities for your kids because, again, you get to decide what they're exposed to in that regard.

SPEAKER_00 21:54

That's a good point because there was a study done where they had taken these kids and basically had these parents only. Say yes to the kids, yes to their every wish, yes to their every demand, whatever it was, the answer was yes, it was never no. And the results of the study, of course, it took a long time. It was like 60, 70 year study. The results were catastrophically disastrous for the kids. They had grown up to be adults that could not function in society. So this is a great point that you bring up that kids do need to be able to do the things that they're, that they don't like, that they're not interested in, that they don't want to do. You have to have that discipline and be able to hear the word no and still be able to stand up straight and live your life. So before we leave this conversation, Caitlin, is there anything else that you would like to say on this particular topic for the listeners?

SPEAKER_02 22:38

This is a great time of year to start to think about homeschool and to start preparing. If you have any sort of desire and you want to figure it out, um, I've got a masterclass coming up where I'm actually going to walk people step by step through how to make the decision for your family and to see if it is a good fit for you. Um so just kind of lean into into the want of it all. Like, is this something you want for your family? Um, and sometimes like we get that push track of like we're not always used to like letting ourselves want things, but starting to like practice that muscle um until you you start to see a power. Um, so you can come see me at thehomebasemethod.com um and we can talk to see if homeschooling is a good fit um and what kind of resources you need. And that's that that's kind of your next step if you're thinking that um homeschool might be a good fit for you.

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Yeah, definitely. And I appreciate the fact that you you said people don't let themselves want things. And you you can you can see that people are self-stifling. And the thing about homeschooling or any type of risk that you're taking, whether you consider it a risk or not, the question that people ask themselves is what if it doesn't work out? What if it doesn't work out? What if it doesn't work out? It doesn't matter whether it works out or not, because if it works out for you, fantastic. But if it doesn't work out for you, what have you gained? You've gained clarity, you've gained clarity about what you want and what you more importantly, what you don't want. And then you can go from there and make a better decision. So Katie, I'm sorry, Caitlin. Am I allowed to call you Katie?

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Katie is fine. You can tell how long somebody's known me by by what name they call me. Um I it's Kate, Katie, all of them.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Oh, perfect. Okay, cool. I was like, oh my god, I just offended this woman by calling her a different name, but it's okay. All right, I'm so glad, Caitlin. I will probably call you Kate or Katie at some point, but it just came out so naturally. I guess because we're like, you know, we're little, we're friends now, we're podcast buddies. So the last question that I have for you, and this is a question that I always ask for ask the listeners, you can interpret it however you wish. And the question is, what do you believe is the most important education a child could ever receive?

SPEAKER_02 25:11

One that's built on good faith. Like we are going to I'm not gonna get everything right, but I'm going to make every decision as if I I'm going to try to make every decision correctly, and when I don't, I'll admit it and I'll move on. You don't have to do everything right, but you do need to do everything with good intention. And when you don't, because you're human, admit it and move on.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Yeah, agreed. That's awesome. So you can't let your child down. You're not gonna let your child down. You're doing the best that you can, and with that comes comes success, and it's it just is what it is. So I've actually had a parent say that one to me one time. Am I letting my child down? I'm like, no, no, no, no, not at all, not at all. So thank you, Caitlin, for being here today. I so appreciate your time and all of the wisdom and insight that you have provided us. I wish you well, and I also am going to send you a link to join our gentle year Facebook community if you don't already have that link. But feel free to post resources in there, post your master class on homeschooling in there so people can connect with you. And hopefully we'll have you back on the show again someday. But thank you again for your time. My takeaways from this episode is that you don't have to make every decision perfectly. You just simply have to make the best decision you can with the information that you have, remain open to learning, and be willing to adjust when something is not working. Homeschooling may or may not become the permanent answer for your family, but exploring it can still give you greater clarity about your what your child needs and what kind of education you want to create. Thank you again to Caitlin DeVille for sharing her experience, honesty, and practical guidance with us. And to learn more about her work and resources, visit thehomebased method.com. And as always, be gentle with yourself. You are allowed to ask questions, change your mind, try something new, and take your time figuring out what is right for your family. Growth does not always happen through certainty. Sometimes it happens through experimentation, reflection, and giving yourself permission to begin before you have every answer. Before you go today, I also want to let you know that this work is supported by Your Wish is Your Command and Shared Humanity, a Field Agent's Journey into the Human Mind. Your Wish is Your Command is a personal development program designed to help you think more intentionally about your goals, beliefs, and the direction of your life. And you can actually access this material for free by using the code YWFREE. So YWFREE, and the link is in the show notes. In addition, Shared Humanity is an educational book for students, educators, aspiring psychology professionals, and anyone interested in understanding human behavior more deeply. Through seminars, webinars, articles, and podcast discussions, Shared Humanity provides high-quality learning opportunities in psychology, mental health, therapy, diagnosis, and the complexity of the human mind. Select programs may also offer academic credit, continuing education, and professional development. Most of the content is completely free. And for $8 a month, you can subscribe to receive access to specialized educational content, deeper learning opportunities, and the chance to participate in the podcast conversations and other interactive experiences. To learn more, visit Dr. Robert Gillespie's Substack to learn more about psychology beyond the textbook. And thank you again for listening to The Gentle Year.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. It's called Your Wish is Your Command. How to manifest your desires. In the Alps in uh in Europe, I invited a few people to come in for a two-day live event where I would teach them the secrets that I had learned, and I applied it, and it made me millions of dollars before I was 18. And I applied it and made billions over the next few years. For two days, I taught this small group of people that they paid $10,000 per person for two days to come to learn the secret behind the secret or the missing key. This program virtually teaches people what Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison discovered. And they discovered, and people in the secret societies knew, that the brain is actually a transmitter and receiver of frequency. What the training is, it trains the brain how to transmit the right frequency. So if you want a new car, if you want a better job, if you want to make more money, if you want to be happier, if you want to lose weight, if you want better health, if you want to be lucky, if you want to have a different home, if you want a better relationship with your kids, or you want a lover in your life. Whatever you want in your life, if you look at your life and say, there are things in my life I don't like. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

Your wish is your command.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Your wish is your command.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command. Your wish is your command.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Your wish is your command.