34: 4 Beliefs Keeping You From Living Your Best Life as a Mompreneur

Ever feel like you're running on autopilot? Constantly hustling? Holding yourself to impossible standards as a mom and business owner? 

This episode unpacks four of the most common limiting beliefs that keep ambitious moms stuck and walks you through how to replace them with more empowering stories that actually align with the freedom-based life and business you're building.

We're digging into:

• The "money requires hard work" money mindset trap
• Why so many of us were conditioned to see rest as laziness
• The unrealistic "good mom" standards society pushes on us
• The time-based beliefs that are quietly slowing down your success and stealing your joy

This episode is full of the necessary thought work and mindset shifts for the mom entrepreneur who's ready to start deconditioning the beliefs holding her back.

Are you an ambitious mom looking to start or grow your business in a way that feels aligned? Here's what to do next:

1. Follow me on Instagram @MomBossFreedom and subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss the newest episodes! If this content really resonates with you, be sure to leave a review and star rating as well<3
2. Come meet other mom business owners at an informal virtual Mompreneur Meetup on July 28th! Register here. Connect with other mom biz owners who just get it, who you can add to your squad, and who you can potentially collab with. 
3. Schedule a Momentum Mapping Session to break through your current business roadblock! 
4. Access the Success Recalibration Ritual so you can start feeling more successful more often as a mom and business owner!
5. Head here for helpful freebies like 5 Mindset Shifts to Re-energize Your Biz as a Mompreneur and 3 Nervous System Shifts That Unlock Sustainable Growth for Mompreneurs! 

If you're reading this, our paths were meant to cross :) I can't wait to ...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey mama, welcome to the Mom Boss Freedom Podcast, where ambitious moms come to build and grow businesses that give them the freedom and flexibility that they deserve as both a mom and an incredibly talented human. Whether you're brand new to entrepreneurship or scaling a business you already started, you're in the right place. I'm your host, Paige Figaroa, mom of two and former English teacher turned online business owner. Around here, we talk about making space for both your big dreams and those little moments you don't want to miss as a mom. So reheat your coffee one more time and let's dive into today's episode. Welcome back to another episode of the Mom Boss Freedom Podcast. Today we are going to be unpacking the power of thought work. And this is something that I am super passionate about because I think that thought work is something that bleeds into every area of our life, right? Our own personal growth as a human, the way that we parent, and definitely the way that we operate our business. And so I really just feel like so many humans, myself included, especially in um previous years of my life, we go through so much of the experiences that we have each day, or even throughout our life, operating in a way that's not aligned to beliefs and stories that are even ours, or that actually align with what we feel is important or true. And so we're almost like in this autopilot mode that's programmed to what the general collective around us believes, or what we've adopted as being true just from our own upbringing and what we've kind of seen in our uh our parents growing up or what we were taught in school growing up. And so today I want to help us kind of take a good hard look at what are some of the common beliefs actually running the show for us, and which beliefs do we want to adopt instead so that we can enjoy more and more of the moments of this precious life that we get to live each day. So, in this particular episode, I want to unpack four common beliefs that I feel like a lot of ambitious moms struggle to release, and we'll kind of dig them apart in a way that just takes the legs out from them a little bit, and so they don't have such a hold over us, and then we can replace them with thoughts that are more empowering and more in line with the goals that we actually have for ourselves. And what we're talking about today is really just part of a larger deconditioning process. I'm sure you've been hearing that word deconditioning a lot lately. Um, but what we're gonna do today is really just kind of like a surface level part of the process of thought work, but it's definitely an awareness piece that I think is super important to kind of like start this work of deconditioning wherever you were at in the process. Maybe you have done thought work before, um, in which case I hope up my perspective on this and the way that we're gonna be talking about it today is really helpful for you and just seeing it from a different lens that maybe you haven't thought about it before. So before we dive into these four common beliefs that I want to unpack, I also just want to point, I also just want to point out that thought work should definitely be an ongoing practice, right? Because our deconditioning does not happen overnight. I'm calling to mind this silly analogy that I heard from the movie Shrek. Shrek tells Donkey, ogres are like onions. We have layers. And that's how I view, you know, this process of thought work and weeding out beliefs that we have, right? One belief that we have has so many different layers to it, and even if we shed one layer of that belief, there's likely an even deeper layer that we can still shed, but we can still take the power out of the belief as a whole by letting it go one layer at a time. So I hope that little Shrek metaphor is helpful for you. And let's dive into belief number one. So money takes hard work, you have to really work hard to earn your money. This is a belief that I feel like a lot of people can connect to, and it's for sure been one that has been hard for me to shed over time, but that's been really helpful for me to shed over time. So I personally used to wear hard work like a badge of honor. And I even remember as a young teacher back in the day, I was making a lot of money as far as teacher salaries went, but it's only because I was like working really, really, really hard and saying yes to all these extra opportunities that were adding, you know, supplemental layers to my overall paycheck. But I was working myself to the bone. I was like literally always working, and I'm not even exaggerating. Like I was working on weekends, like eight, 10 hours, sometimes more on weekends, my first two years of teaching. And then when I would get home from work, I was still working at night, even though I was at work from like 6 a.m. to like 5 p.m. It was bananas. So as an entrepreneur, this is a big belief that I've been trying to untangle and like shed layers of over and over again. And I've definitely made so much progress with this one, but even recently, I've seen it come up for me. So, as a super quick example, the other day I stayed up till three in the morning finishing a client project, and uh the next day I felt like total crap, and it was really hard to watch the kids and like be present with them and do all the mom things and still do the other work that I needed to do the next day. And I had to be really honest with myself like, how could I let this happen? And I'm like, Oh yeah, well, duh, it's that old story kind of like coming back and rearing its ugly head again that money comes from working really hard. And I remember telling my mom about the next day how I was so tired because I stayed up finishing this client project when I FaceTimed her, and she's like, Oh yeah, right, like that's just what you do. You always used to do that, so like that seems normal. And so I had to be really honest with myself in that, like, I am having this old pattern come up for me, but the old pattern is coming up for me because it is tied to this belief that I am still holding on to and that there are still layers for me to shed. And so I have like the truth is that lately I have been staying up a little later than I actually want to be because of this story that money takes hard work to earn. And so for the next couple days, after I was like sitting with that and reflecting on that, I just I had to do a little bit of resetting with myself and re-prioritizing, and I made sure that I went to bed much earlier the other nights and was like more creative with how I was spending my time throughout the day so that I didn't get to the point where I was having to stay up to the wee hours of the morning finishing client work, and it has felt so much better, and just like another pointing out of this process that like these stories don't just get weeded out once and they're like gone forever, because this is truly like a story that I've been working on deconditioning myself with for a couple years now, but it's like about being gracious with ourselves and then like recommitting to the work of continuing to just lean on stories that are more empowering for ourselves instead of these outdated stories that we we don't want anymore, right? And so, um, getting back to this first story to really live my life in a way that feels better, I don't want that story, I want one that's more empowering, right? And so, what's the opposite of that belief that money takes hard work to earn? Well, it could be that money comes to me effortlessly, and actually that did truthfully happen to me like a day ago. I sold this old painting on Facebook Marketplace for like 40 bucks, and the lady on Marketplace, it wasn't one of those things where you like go back and forth with the person like a hundred times. It was like she agreed to come at such and such time, pick it up, boom, like $40 in my pocket, and it was pretty effortless on my end. So, like, money really can come to us effortlessly. We just have to like focus on the evidence that makes that story true and not the other way. Another opposite of this story could be that when I am well rested, ideas and opportunities flow to me more easily, or that making money gets to be easy and enjoyable, right? And so try those beliefs out for a spin for yourself instead of the fact that money takes hard work to earn and see how that makes a little bit of a difference in your life day to day. Okay, common story number two that I want to untangle. This one is very much related to number one, but it's definitely nuanced enough that it deserves its own attention. And I think a lot of millennials and Gen Xers can relate to this one, and it's this idea that resting is lazy. So, on the surface, like that sounds kind of silly to say out loud, but I feel like so many of us had this modeled for us growing up, or like we were literally told, like, why are you sitting on the couch? Like, get up and go do something productive, right? And so, like, looking back on my own childhood, I genuinely can very seldomly recall evidence of either of my parents like resting just for the sake of like resting, especially my dad. Like, he would work like a dog, he'd come home with work to do, often fall asleep on the couch. If he wasn't working, he was volunteering to help coach my soccer team or like he was gardening really intensely. But like, when did this man ever rest? Right? And and it's not to say that he or my mom were doing something wrong because you know, they obviously inherited that conditioning as well, and they are a product of their own generation and what was going on in their childhood and what was modeled for them in their household, you know, with parents that were like coming off of the Great Depression era, but this is a story that as a mom now and as someone interested in living my best life, I want to wholeheartedly reject this story. Like, I don't want this operating behind the scenes in my subconscious mind because rest is how we are able to, you know, have the spaciousness to tune into our own power and create the way that we are designed to. And so another reason I fell back into that old pattern that I was talking about in the previous story of staying up late doing work constantly is because of this story, right? That resting is lazy and that there's always more work that you can be doing. So, what's the opposite of this story then? What's a more empowering way that we can, you know, replace this old conditioned story that's not serving us? Maybe it sounds like resting allows me to serve others better, or resting allows me to enjoy my life more, or resting is required for me to have the version of success that I want, right? So you can choose whichever reframe you want here or create, you know, another reframe that sounds even more authentic and valuable for you. But if you are like me and you have that old story of like resting is lazy floating around somewhere in your subconscious, then it definitely, you know, it will definitely benefit you to unpack that one a little bit more and see what you can put in its place. Okay, story number three being a good mom means, and then insert whatever story social media is trying to jam down your throat lately, right? And I don't think I need to rehash all the silly internet advice that's out there for us moms, right? It really feels like we're constantly being told things that we need to be doing that are contradictory to other things that we're be told being told to do. But one that has been really prevalent for me lately is that being a good mom means not letting your kids sit in front of a screen ever, ever, ever, ever, right? And I generally don't have my kids watch all that much TV, but this one really gets to me sometimes. And yesterday I had to break its power over me in a way that felt really good and really empowering. So I didn't quite finish this one client deliverable that I had wanted to. I was working on like an SEO article for this one company, and I was like, I had like maybe like 20 minutes left of work that I needed to do to like finish the article and do all of the SEO edits that I needed to do. And I knew that it was going to bug me the rest of the day if I didn't just like finish this and cross it off of my list. And so what was making me a little bit more upset that I didn't finish it is that I had to take my kids to this like after school activity at this little um, it's like a like a I don't even know how not an extreme air thing, but like this thing where you like throw a ball, like a ball pit thing, whatever you want to call it. But a little kids' activity that we were doing and we were gonna take them from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. And then I knew I was gonna be tired after that because we don't usually take our kids to stuff that late in the day. And so to like make the rest of my day just feel better and allow myself to be more present, I was like, okay, y'all, y'all are gonna watch 40 minutes of TV right now so mommy can finish up this work task. And I did that, I didn't let myself feel guilty about it because those of you who have children who are like uh Velcro kids or like you have more than one kid, and it just like sometimes they just don't leave you alone. You can relate to that. Like sometimes you just really can't like do work while also having them play next to you and like be super noisy. And so, with my twins, there are like there's really minimal activities that I can have them do sometimes that don't lead to either them fighting and me having to get up to intervene, or with them just like not having to ask me to help them with something in the moment, and so that 40 minutes of screen time was so valuable for me yesterday, and then I was able to be so much more present with my kids the rest of the afternoon, and then in my connections with the other parents that I ended up talking to at this like little kids' event that we took them to, and I wasn't like at this event, like, oh gosh, like this sucks. I have to like go home, put the kids to bed, and then finish this work task. I'm gonna be so tired, right? Like, it was just so empowering for me to like use that time for myself during the day, let them watch the damn TV for a little bit, and then also realize like I don't do that all the time, and even if I did, it's fine, it doesn't mean that I'm a bad mom, right? And so think to yourself like, what is the latest being a good mom means this story that's been running in your subconscious mind lately? And how has it been impacting the way that you operate each day and like what you do and don't allow yourself to do? And then in its place, what do you want your new being a good mom story to be instead? So maybe it sounds more like this being a good mom means taking care of my needs too, or being a good mom means making the best choice I can moment to moment, right? Like, give ourselves a little bit of breathing room here. We're doing so much, right? We're raising children, we are running a business, we are doing all these things for our household and our family. Like, let's just like choose to have these stories running in our mind that are actually like giving us some spaciousness to do all the things that we need to do in a way that actually feels good and we don't feel crappy about ourselves. All right, if you haven't realized, I'm really passionate about this, but we are gonna go into this last story here, and this one is another sort of like generic one, but it has to do with time. So it's how we perceive how long something is going to take for us. And this one is one that came up with my uh one of my coaching clients the other day. Uh, it was this idea that it's going to take me X amount of years for my business to be sustainable as a source of income. And I've shared this on earlier episodes on this podcast, but when I went into starting my first business, which is my freelance copywriting business, I was operating fully under the belief that by the end of one school year, I was going to have enough recurring clients to make leaving teaching possible for myself. And that did become my reality. So the stories we choose about how long things take for us do matter, right? Because we act in a way that's in line with our expectations. So maybe you have a time story operating for you, right? Like it's going to take me X amount of time to blank whatever your goal is. Maybe it's to achieve a certain amount of revenue in your business. Maybe it's to achieve a particular health goal or to learn a new skill. Whatever that time story is for you, remember that when we put these stipulations on ourselves with like a timeline, we act in a way that makes that timeline true. So if that's the case, why not take on the story that we actually want to become our reality, right? Like if we want something to happen more quickly in our life, let's change the story for ourselves about how long it will take us. Because even though it may have taken other people such and such amount of time to accomplish a particular goal, that doesn't have to be the story or the experience for us. Or even in our own life, if historically it took us X amount of time to achieve a certain goal in the past, that doesn't mean that it has to take us that long on our next attempt, right? So for this time belief, replace that old story with, you know, just because it took so-and-so X amount of time to achieve this goal doesn't mean it has to be my story, or I'm not an ordinary person and the timeline I'm operating on isn't ordinary either. Or be really straight out with yourself here. Like I can achieve this goal in this amount of time and put on a timeline that feels good for you and like the time that you actually want it to take for you. All right. So I hope kind of going through these four beliefs, uh, let me just rehash them real quick. So it was it takes hard work to earn money, resting is lazy, being a good mom means, or it's going to take X amount of time to achieve X or Y, Z, whatever you want to insert there. I really hope that this episode helps you take the legs out of some of those limiting and disempowering beliefs that you've perhaps been conditioned to believe. And feel free to message me on Instagram. Let me know which of these stories or beliefs has been a big one for you, or if there's a different belief that's been running the show for you that you just like want to call to mind and be like, yeah, like I this thought work stuff is really helpful because it's helped me eliminate X, Y, Z belief. And if this kind of work of doing thought work and deconditioning really resonates with you, this really is only, you know, a surface level part of the process of thought work. There's so much more to do on a consistent basis to totally weed out these stories and to fuel the new, more empowering stories. And that's why over the summer I'm gonna actually be running a program that dives more deeply into this work of adopting more empowering beliefs in a way that's actually sustainable and that leads us to having real results in our life, in our business, and as mothers. And so if you enjoy this kind of work, definitely stay tuned for more details on that. You can connect with me on Instagram. But I really hope that this episode resonated with you. If you are an ambitious mom who is starting or growing her business and you just want to do it in a way that feels really good, definitely check the show notes so that you can find some helpful freebies to help you work through some things or to book a free one-to-one call with me. I always love chatting with moms who are running their own businesses to kind of just like see what the amazing things that they're building and help them figure out what their next right step is. So would love to connect with you more intimately in that way. And I hope that you have an amazing week. And next week's episode is also going to be a quick one like this, just helping you power through a really quick way of thinking through something that can make a big difference in your life on a daily basis as a mom and a business owner. So I hope you have an amazing week.