The WILDEST Secrets That Made Couples 10X BETTER In Bed!

What if designing the right space could completely change how you experience intimacy with your partner?

Melanie Rose, the designer behind Netflix's How to Build a Sex Room, is on the podcast with Sonya Love and Agon Love to talk about everything from the $1.8 million platinum vibrator she once held in her hands to how her show helped one of us heal from years of sexual trauma. She breaks down exactly how she builds these spaces, why sex rooms are way more luxurious and personal than most people think, and why consent and communication are the real foundation of any great sex life. This episode will open your mind and honestly might just inspire you to rethink your own intimate space.

Follow Melanie Rose: 
💜 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melanieruthrose/
💜 Website: https://www.melanieruthrose.com/

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💜 Sign up for Sonya Love's Dare To Love coaching program

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Why have you decided to build sex rooms for a living? What's more fascinating is meet our guest, Melanie Rose, the designer behind Netflix's how to build a sex room. Transforming ordinary rooms into bold, luxurious fantasy spaces.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

What are some of the most expensive items that you've seen when it comes to the world of sex rooms?

SPEAKER_01 0:23

I was very fortunate enough to hold in my hand the$1.8 million vibrator.$1.8 million. The most expensive sex toys in the world. It's stunning.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Can religious people build sex toys?

SPEAKER_05 0:44

Melanie, your Netflix show is by far one of our favorites as a couple. Truly. We binge watched it, and we also realized through your passion and energy, you could do pretty much anything and turn it to gold, I feel. Oh, thank you so much. So why have you decided to build sex rooms for a living?

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Um, well, I was a designer and I used to build, you know, kitchens and bathrooms, and I did remodels and things like that. And, you know, I it's great, and it's not to knock on any other designers out there, but I could do that in my head in some cases. Um, and I think designing sex rooms is just so much more interesting because you have to think outside the box. I mean, it's not like you can go to a store, a furniture store, you know, full of bondage, you know, spanking benches and St. Anto's Cross. You can't do that. So that's what I love about it. And not every room is the same because everybody's wants, needs, and desires are so different.

SPEAKER_05 1:36

Yeah. And you have such a personal touch as well with them, because I know you would, of course, do that for even someone's home or kitchen, like you said, but there's there was something beautiful about seeing the way you interacted with the couples and how you let them explore new things and see what they want to try out and like have conversations with each other. You felt like the mediator, you know, the one that exposes them to new realms potentially and then pushes their boundaries. Yes. And your little bag of tricks.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Oh, my bag of tricks, yes. Actually, in real life, it actually comes as a suitcase. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

A suitcase.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Yes, a suitcase. Normally because it's like my company is a bit almost like a concierge. So if I'm talking to the clients, uh, my private clients, uh, then and I get a feel and sense of what they would like. Then I take my suitcase to them and then um I have toys in there, which is why I have an extraordinary uh range of toys at home, so they can touch and feel everything.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

But why do you think so many people still associate sex rooms with this like dirty, disgusting elements, dark?

SPEAKER_01 2:39

When you say sex, people are sex rooms, they instantly think of dungeons. Now that's okay because you know, people if they want dungeons, they can have dungeons. And I think that came from the world of the BDSM world. And then when you type in that, uh, like a sex room prior to my show, um, you would see rooms that are sort of like don't look a little unkempt. And in some cases, you know, if you see people in extreme bondage situations, you then think, okay, that's what it's going to be like. It's like a torture room. Yeah, like a torture room. But if you think of dungeons, in actual fact, it is a medieval sort of like prison. You know, we'd think about it with straw and you know, bricks and cold and things like that. So that's what people associate. But sex rooms or intimate spaces are far from that. They can be an area of luxury, which is what I do for a living.

SPEAKER_05 3:26

Yeah, I I saw like spa-like ones and really sensual, soft rooms as well. It was just nice to see the the ways different couples would create their perfect ideal sex room. And it doesn't need to look the same. It doesn't even need to be from the same world. And I remember the the part when, you know, when you did for the cuddling couple and oh, yeah, the cuddle puddle.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yeah, the cuddle puddle. That was for the polyamorous family. And I found that quite challenging because it really was for six, you know, six people. So I've got six different intakes to consider of what they want into that room. So that was like my thoughts were we're gonna do a cuddle puddle, fine. Okay, you're not gonna find a nine foot by twelve foot bed, so it has to be custom made. But am I gonna be able to get the bed through the fucking door, through the front door, round, you know, angle it round? What about the mattress? Are you gonna have to custom mattress, custom linens, and things like that? So it's it's all of those little things that you have to think about as part of the design. Yes. You have to think, how am I gonna get it in the room as well? The logistics. Yeah, the logistics. The technicalities of it, yeah. But that room was great. I love the idea of the bathroom. And one of the things that somebody had written on on on uh as a comment had been, oh, but it's got no no toilet. But there was a toilet there in the bathroom. We just chose not to show it. Show it. So it was there. It's just I didn't want it to be the focal point of the room.

SPEAKER_05 4:48

And there were so many other parts to that room. So, you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Would you say that that that was the craziest project you've ever worked on?

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Um, I would have I've never designed for a polyamorous family. So I considering all of their elements of what they wanted, and you know, there was the Voyel, which is why I put the little peep, uh, the curtain through so he could peep through to um to see what they were up to and film it. And then also you had the tele the screen uh um come down the cinema screen so they could watch what uh Arturo had been, you know, filming and things. So, yes, with all with six different energies and all converging, especially when you're filming, um, even if you're not filming, it can be overwhelming. Um but it they loved it, yeah. They were so happy.

SPEAKER_05 5:32

Suppose we come to you now. Yes, and we say, Melanie, build us our sex room. What would be the exact steps and the process you will take us?

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Well, the process I would say to you, okay, so um let's talk about uh what colours you like. Do you want it to be a themed room? Do you not want it to be a themed room? Is this a room which is going to be uh do you want a bed in there or do you not want a bed in there? Do you want it uh ensuite bathroom? I'd find all of those, talk to you about those things. But then I'd also talk about the really intimate things. Okay, are you a squirter? You know, do you come a lot? Some men come quite a bit. So that in my mind is then thinking, okay, I need blankets, I would uh need sheets, I would ask you if you're into water sports. So as I'm asking you all these questions, the items are going through my mind of like, okay, they want this, they're going to need that. And I will come up with those ideas for you.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

You make a profile of the people and then lists like a little profile.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yeah, I'll have my notes that written down so I can uh go back on them and think about it almost like the minutes of the meeting, as it were. And then go back and think what they do like. Do you like pegging? Uh, do you want a queening chair? Do you want a milking bench? Do you want a St. Andrew's Cross? What are the elements that you want in this room? How do you want those elements to look in this room? What kind of colours? So, with like anything, I would always say do your research of knowing what you want. And it always has to be consent. That's so what would you see as your sex room? What would you like?

SPEAKER_00 7:04

We would definitely theme it a bit undesirable style.

SPEAKER_05 7:07

We would have a little bit different style.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

Yeah, that's why I ask different between men and women because we have a bit of a different approach.

SPEAKER_05 7:13

I like like really visually and just overall sensual things. So like I want it to smell good. I want the fabrics to be soft and luscious, maybe some feathers, I want good music, I want great lighting. And then I want like a corner where it's like an experiment corner where we do stuff once in a while to see if we want to add that to our yes, we love this. It's perfect, you know, and then there's also the basically I want something that has a baseline of just soft and sensual.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

I really liked how you mentioned like an experiment corner.

SPEAKER_05 7:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

So we can rotate things, we can call, hey Melanie, can we have like three new items because we like tested them all and we have some space? I like that. For me, on my side, I I tend to go a little bit more edgy. Oh, dude, bread. Come on, tell me. I like I like red room vibe, for example. Like use the the light, make it like red. I really want to learn um the how we call it that the tying us.

SPEAKER_05 8:23

I want to learn it too. Shibari. I want to learn it too.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

I'll just use rope bondage. I would love to have like an encouragement in some area where this is waiting for us and we can just practice and experiment with that.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Yes, if you're doing, if you're trying, if you're wanting to do you know, bondage or or or shibari, Japanese bond uh rope bondage, you know, always have your safety scissors with you as well. But do some research and a safe word. Yeah, well, that's consent and things like that. So it's um yeah, you can have all of that. But my thing my primary question would be would you want a bed in there? Yeah. I mean, or what's the alternative? But you don't have to have a bed in your sex room.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

We have bed and bedroom, you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Maybe it's like a is it is it going to be a place where you can have perhaps uh as um like a padded wall? A padded wall. Yeah, it's actually called a padded wall, but it's actually a St. Andrew's Cross, but it's it's absolutely beautiful. Um, or just spanking bench. That I'd like Queening China. Spank me. You know, all of your floggers, uh all laid out very nicely for you.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

What are some of the most expensive items that you've ever seen when it comes to the world of sex rooms?

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Oh, um, yes. Well, my friend uh Colin Byrne um is Australian, and and uh I was very fortunate enough to actually hold in my hand the$1.8 million vibrator. What?

unknown 9:45

Yes!

SPEAKER_01 9:46

$1.8 million. It's made of platinum. So let's be let's go over what it's made of first. Uh platinum, baguette diamonds, sapphires. Um, it's got a beautiful little crown at the top and a key. And you turn that little key and it vibrates. Um it's stunning. Um and then he also does, he's done some dildos as well, about three, four hundred thousand dollars a piece. But they're gorgeous.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

I really wonder who is.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

He holds them and he uses them or he made it for clients. No, he's he's made them. He's it's you're just the most expensive sex stories in the world. Now, if you if you go to my website um under All About Luxury, you can see them there. But I think what's more fascinating is why did he create these works of art? So I and they are absolutely beautiful, I have to say. I did actually have all of them, over three million dollars worth in my in my house. And at one point, so I was just looking at, I was they were so beautiful, absolutely amazing. They don't live with me at all, they live with somebody else. But you got to feel it. I got yes, I got to feel touch and feel them, and it was just you know, it's a great experience. Where can people find your website? How to say it's um my website is melanierouthrose.com. Perfect. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

If you have$1.8 million.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Or if you want to know what inspired that.

SPEAKER_05 11:05

Oh, yes, and if you want to buy one, you can go to my website and that you can buy it there. One thing, and I really have to thank you for this. When we watched your show, I remember it so clearly. We were in Croatia, we had gone there for a friend's wedding. Okay, and the wedding is now over, and we were, you know, we had three, four days left more to just explore the place, and we did not explore the place, we explored each other. Oh my god, how wonderful! We we have you to thank. Oh my goodness. Really, because we were watching your show, and um, I think what I loved so much about it. So, for context, I have a fair bit of sexual trauma from the past. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you. And what I liked about the show was while watching people discover what they like, what they don't like, while seeing couples come together and have a conversation around things, like, oh, maybe this might be nice, maybe this might not be nice, would you like this? Discussing these things, it actually just made me feel safe because I was the observer. Right. And I was now healing to some degree, just observing people have fun around sex. Whereas I was still at a point where I associated sex with danger.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. And fear. Oh gosh, yes.

SPEAKER_05 12:25

I'm like, oh my god, it's colorful and it's fun, and there's feathers, and she's happy. And look at him saying, I want to know what you like and what you don't like. And there was just something really nice about seeing these couples want to learn each other.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

You know, I think that's really important. It is about conversation. I got a lot of DMs when the show dropped about people saying I'd never been into an adult store and before with at all, full stop, with or without each other. And uh, you know, somebody had gone, they had as a couple had gone in and actually thought, you know, maybe we'll buy a riding crop or a flogger and just see if it's something that we we like. And I think that's what made the show so successful was it was also very educational. So as you said, and also sex can be funny. You know, if you're role-playing, I think it was um one of the clients and I've forgotten their name, Dave and I think it was Dave and Megan, I can't remember now. But um, you know, we talked about role-playing, and he was like, Oh my god, I've got to think of a backstory. I mean, like, you don't have to think of a backstory. It's okay. You're not yes, and there's a bit of tension. It's okay. You don't have to think about that. You can if you really want to get into it, but if it's going to cause you stress, don't do it. Because this should be fun. If it doesn't work, laugh about it. It's okay.

SPEAKER_05 13:45

Yeah, it happens to us. Like sometimes we'll we'll do role plays and then we'll for we'll like I'll forget that I was in character and then slip up and we laugh. But that laughter is part of the fun.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Yeah, it is. It has to be part of fun. Sex cannot be taken too, I think, too seriously.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Can religious people build sex rooms?

SPEAKER_01 14:03

I don't see any reason why not.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Based on my experience, we we have a large social media following and we sometimes post things. People go crazy when they just see a tiny part of body. Like we will have moments when we like have we celebrate birthday, for example. And you know, we had one photo where I'm like wearing a towel, and you can see my stomach. Like, I I was quite fit at that time, so I had a bit of a six pack going and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 14:34

We loved it.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

I was showing one story over eight hours we lost 10,000 followers. Why? In one story, and I saw the messages and they all came from people who are religious because they're like, Why are you showing this? This is only for your wife. It's like this idea that you know, like just being proud of either your body or sexuality is a sin.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Doing my research, you know, if you go back to the Greek of the Roman times, right? Um they had frescoes of men fucking men, men fucking women, women fucking each other, da da da da. And they had all this beautiful pottery which depict erotic scenes and so forth. Now you can go back through history starting with the Greeks and the Romans and then come up to the 60s. So when did it when did it when did it stop being okay to stop talking about sex or to have it visual? And and what was the purpose of that? And I think it might be that it comes down to religion. It does, yeah. And that was when it has changed so much. You know, when when people can be so free about it about sex back in back in those days, and then suddenly you see in history it sort of like comes to a grinding halt and you don't talk about it, and then suddenly now it's like you know, if you're deeply religious, you can't think about it. But you can't talk about it.

SPEAKER_05 16:08

I I correct me if I'm wrong, I think that even in religion, when you are in a committed partnership, why can't you have sex? Like let you can have great sex with your wife or husband, right? Yeah, but look at it.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

We need to have a guest who comes from heavily religious background and ask them about it because this is intriguing.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Exactly. Now I think the same way, but if you look at Hannah and Wesley, the sheriff on the show, and um with Hannah, um, he was brought up on abstinence tapes. How terrible is that?

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Yeah, that's tough.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

And that's you know, we're touching on a on a subject that's um that you know could could anger certain people. And that's one thing about the show is I was you know, it was how is this going to be perceived by some people? How is this you know, there's could be a whole group of haters out there. But it was really well received. But it was really well received across the globe.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

I mean, I get people from all over the world saying, Thank you so much, you helped me, and you know, and and and it's humbling and and you know, it's wonderful to be thought of like that.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

More couples divorce than make it. Right. That is a very high percentage of something that is life-altering because going through a marriage and moving into the house and maybe having children and then breaking up and going through divorce is one of the worst things that can happen to us, right? While it is undeniable that a very big part of people divorcing is bad sex life.

SPEAKER_03 17:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

So why aren't we spending more time doing this, normalizing the fact that everyone is having sex and that you can make it better and it doesn't have to be so predictable?

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Sex in intimate spaces change as you get older. They're constantly evolving. So how you felt when you were perhaps in your teens or your thirties is gonna change how you feel in your 50s and your 60s. You know, is that it's that more or less relaxed way of like, okay, I like it like this, I don't have to push myself, I don't have to be pin thin all the time, you know, I can explore these types of things. You just feel more comfortable in yourself to discuss it with your partner. But I think that comes from a a concern about being judged.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

That's worse between a couple. So you might have said, you know what, I you know, I'd like to try this, but the other person may just, you know, clam up and not want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_05 18:48

What happens in a situation where one of them is blank and doesn't have ideas? Well, that's why they call me. Okay. So do you do you like, do you list out all the possibilities? Do you show people visually what's available? Or do you suss out based on that person's personality? Maybe he or she will be into this. Um I suss it out by personality.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Okay. And then it's sometimes clients will have like uh uh Pinterest pages, or they'll, you know, I'll ask them to send me visuals that they might like that they like or something that speaks to them. And then I can go from there and go, okay, these are the colours that they obviously like, and this is what they warm to. I'm seeing all the details and the photographs and you know, the magazine clips and you know, if on the Pinterest pages, and then I get an idea and I get a sense of what they what they like. And it's can be quite telling.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Have people's tastes changed over the years? Like, how are you noticing? Like, I I really wonder, because you have such a unique job, is there such a thing as trends? So, like right now in 2025, people like this.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

No, I don't think I don't know, it doesn't happen like that. No, I can't say that you know, 2025 is the year for the fucking machine. I you know, I I I can't say that. I can't, you know, 2025 is a fucking building. It's literally a piece of furniture that fucks you. So it's oh yeah, it's different than a sex doll. Yes, yes, yes. It's more for men. It's for women, yes. For women and for men as well. But it actually is is you like a table, or it can actually be set up as a chair, and then there's an item that looks like a dildo, you can attach a dildo to it so that it can actually uh fuck you as well at the same time. And there are so many different types as well. I've seen ones that you know you can you can hold and then you can just you know a gun. Like a gun, and then it's and then I've seen really much more technical ones that come from Europe, which are really beautiful and ergonomic, and you know, you've got these seatbelt straps, and then suddenly this dildo can come at you. I mean, they're gorgeous.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Wow. As you're talking about all this stuff, I think this is a perfect moment to bring a mystery item.

SPEAKER_04 21:02

Because you're talking about all these items and stuff like that. Yes, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

We have a box right here, and we wonder what have you brought, because we actually have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Yeah, I have a clue.

SPEAKER_00 21:13

You can show us.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

Um it's it's a really perfect piece for anybody's bedroom. Um, I love it because it's decoratively it it looks lovely, and it's soft, and well, we'll just open it and have a little look. Why not? I'm going to get my scissors out of here because I know that I have to use scissors.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

That's that's the most And it's not a fucking machine, so don't worry.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

It's not gonna poke you in the eye. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_05 21:41

I love how you picked up that I was worried about that. Like, oh, okay. Let me just I have my little scores.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Even your scissors are stylish. Oh, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Oh, and I love the bag of tricks thing.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

Okay, so let's have a little Look at this.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Maybe even not resources.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

This is uh from the company Liberator. Okay. Okay. And this is called the um Ravish Pillow. Ravish Pillow. Yeah. So this always comes uh vacuum-packed, vacuum sealed. Although we're just gonna leave this over over there. What goes on the top is like a velvet, and then it has beautiful sashes on the top in order for you to actually uh bind your wrists.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

Give you a little bit of understanding. The material is like really smooth.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Um, it actually um you can take it off and just wash it. Right. So this is a phone base, so it'll actually support your body, but you can also um be lying on your bed with your like restrained and things like that.

SPEAKER_05 22:55

That's amazing. Totally. We're gonna try it. It's not gonna be the it's not the first time you're gonna make us have a lot of sex, basically. Melanie.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

No, this is very true. But I do have another another surprise for you. All right, let's go. So this is called the tease ring. And this is a vibrator. What? So you can actually turn it round like this.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

No. So Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

And I will wonder if the sound will pick up on this. Let me turn it on for a little check.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

I hear it for a minute.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

Oh, I hear it, I hear it.

unknown 23:33

Thanks.

SPEAKER_05 23:34

Sharing is caring.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

What do you think?

SPEAKER_05 23:42

Like, where can I put this? What it what's gonna make Oh, okay. Hey, it's quite um It looks so nice. Yeah, but beyond that, it's for such a little thing, it's very strong.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

Oh, it is very strong, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:54

It's very strong.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

But you could wear that out and nobody's gonna notice. Awesome.

SPEAKER_05 24:03

Love it.

SPEAKER_03 24:04

Just when we thought it's done, it's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_05 24:06

And the thing is, it's so nicely hidden. I wouldn't think it's a vibrator. Right. And then when you tell me, I'm like, oh yeah, it is. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

But you ever have people ask you, oh, what is this ring?

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Well, actually, I did when I have the necklace version of it. Oh. And um, I get people that are saying, Oh, that's lovely. Is that a pen? I'm like, no, it's a vibrator. And then they go, What? What? Yes. But this also comes as you can actually get the chain for this as well and wear it around your neck. Amazing. So it's quite fabulous. So, how do you end up using it from a practical standpoint? Do you for nipples? You know, women are quite who've got very sensitive nipples. It can be used all over your body and for collitoral stimulation as well. You know, you could put your balls, you could put your balls in here and just, you know. You could, Aegon.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

I could. As you already mentioned a few times. Melanie is an inspiration, okay?

SPEAKER_01 24:56

She is. And you've got different vibration modes on it.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

So it's perfect.

SPEAKER_05 25:00

What I like about how handy this is, all pens intended. All pens intended, yes, of course. What I like about that is that for those of us that like a little bit of outside action, that's very handy because you can take it out. Handy. You are on the wrong. I know. You can create beautiful sex environments on the go.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Yeah, and this is by Lovecrave. This is uh absolutely gorgeous piece. Uh T Chang did a very good job of designing this. And I I just love the idea that you can go out to a restaurant and you can wear this piece. You could also wear the necklace as well. So you'd wear this as a ring, and then there's a separate necklace as well. And then perhaps you might go out and you'd wear a vibrating toy in your panties, and you would have the remote control. And then you would have you done that? We're yes, ma'am. You have did you enjoy it? Yes, ma'am. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

We are the hosts of desirable.

SPEAKER_05 25:53

We need to be so naughty, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

We need to have some experience at least.

SPEAKER_05 25:58

We felt so naughty because we were in a we're in a dinner table. It wasn't just the two of us, and he kind of just started controlling.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

It was on my phone, Bluetooth.

SPEAKER_05 26:05

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I was just like laughing, and my friends looked at me weird. I was like, I hope they can't tell being weird.

SPEAKER_00 26:13

I wonder, Melanie, because you are so open and honest and out there.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Very transparent, right? Right. Exactly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

Do you ever have people like just come over to you, people you don't know, and they know you, and they just come and just instantly drop into like a crazy conversation?

SPEAKER_01 26:31

About a year ago, I had there was some work going across the road, and I'm an animal lover, and there was a puppy on site. They were putting in some bits and pieces on a neighbour's front garden. And I was like, oh my god, I have to go out and see the puppy. I love animals. I had a yellow lab uh called Lily for a long time. And um, I just absolutely ran out there and I'd got my sloppy joes on, I've got no makeup on, and I'm like, oh, it's fine. So I get and I hug the puppy and I he's washing my face and it's just I'm like, oh my god. And then the guy who's the owner looked down at me and said, Um, you're gonna teach me how to build a sex room? And I was like, what? And I was like, oh shit, oh my goodness! And then I was like, oh God, now he knows where I live. And I was like, you know, can I have a photograph of you? And I was like, yeah, sure, sure. Just let me run inside and put some makeup on. And and but then he started telling me about his his fiancee, and I was like, dude, you're only 26. You might want to think about this a little bit more. But um, you know, I'm not a therapist, but perhaps you should go and see somebody.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

I wonder, based on your experiences, what is the easiest way a couple can start without the need to spend too much money?

SPEAKER_01 27:46

That's a that's a that's a no-brainer for me. If you um I would get an underbed restraint set. Sports Sheets does a really good one. It's on my website as well. But sports sheets do a really good one. And how do I know that? Because I have one at home. Okay. Don't tell everybody. And um but it's great. You put you can it slips under easily underneath the mattress, and you've got the points at the top and you've got the points at the bottom, so you can be restrained on the bed. Now, if you want to put a blindfold on that and then you know, use your imagination after that and then tease your partner, you know, you can switch it out as well. You know, it could be your husband could be or your partner could be teasing you, or vice versa. But it's a great way of of that how can I put it of not knowing what maybe is going to happen next. You know, it's that that tease, that feather that you like, that that softness of uh fabric, or it's the you know, something like the magic wand that's you know with the strong vibrations and for clitoral stimulation, or it's titillating, you know, the nipples and things like that, but you don't see that because you're blindfolded and you're restrained.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

You brought up a very expensive item. I wonder what is the most expensive room you have ever designed? Like a ballpark price?

SPEAKER_01 29:02

Most of my rooms cost anywhere from 150, 200, 250, maybe three hundred thousand upwards.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

Okay, that's that's that's I love that because that means someone really wants to have a good sex life. 300.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

As I said, uh the analogy is okay, do you want a$1.8 million vibrator in there? I mean, that's just one item. I mean, and you know, do you want a$300,000, you know, uh dildo? So I mean there's different different elements and and and things that you can have in a room which will not substantially knock up your price, yes. But that can happen in design throughout, doesn't happen to be just in in a sex room.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

I feel like a vast majority of toys are actually made for women.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

I think you're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Is it because men created and they just care about how the women I think you're probably I think you're pro you're probably right on that.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

That's a really good point. Yes, there is an awful lot of stuff for women, but I think there are quite a lot of things out there for men. It's just where do you find them and what type of person you are. I mean gay style shops.

SPEAKER_05 30:06

That's what we found.

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Yeah, the gay, yes, some beautiful stuff for um um for the gay uh gay people out there. I mean, there's some just great stuff. I love some of their lingerie that they use.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

We need to find a store while we're here in LA. Yeah, at least one.

SPEAKER_05 30:23

He always has this moment because we will sometimes we'll go out and we'll go to like a sex shop together, or we'll go to a like a lingerie store together, and yes, I'll get like a beautiful outfit, and I'm really feeling it.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

She looks like a freaking goddess, and I'm here.

SPEAKER_05 30:38

This is who I'm gonna be tonight, and he's like, What's the best I can do looks-wise? Put on like a bow tie and like you know, he is a leather jock strap.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

What is that?

SPEAKER_05 30:49

Is that the the he has got that? Leather jock strap. Oh no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

You really should go to the stock room.

SPEAKER_05 30:57

The stock room. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

What's that? It's a shame we can't film down there. I suppose I could meet you down there and we could film a snippet or something like that. Ah. That you could put in and is it here in LA? Yeah. Oh, you rock it down? Yeah. It's the stock room, yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

It's just LA really feels like a place because we travel a lot and there's so much. The stock room is lovely.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

Stock room doesn't open until after 12. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

You mean noon?

SPEAKER_01 31:19

Noon, yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Just checking because you never know.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

Oh, but it's fabulous. I bought most of the toys uh from the the store there. If you want to up the ante in your bedroom, wedges which actually alter the pelvic angle so you get better, deeper penetration as well. Wedges, so it's like literally like a like a wedge. Liberator are really well renowned for their wedges, and I really am a great fan of them, which is why I love the ravish uh bondage pillow. Um, and another piece of uh item of furniture that can go anywhere in your house because it doesn't look like uh it's something used for sex, is the tantra chair. It's like an S shape, and um you can use it in your bedroom. Yeah, I had a couple of those on the show. Yeah, yeah. And uh I saw the red one.

unknown 32:12

Right?

SPEAKER_01 32:12

The red one. It was so mentioned.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

I know it was so beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

So gorgeous, so gorgeous. But it's great for tantric.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

Why is it called tantra chair?

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Well, because it's like Karma Sutra. It's a tantric. Yeah.

unknown 32:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Well, it's just we're going for our it's absolutely gorgeous, only 18 inches wide, so which is perfect. Um, I think they do do custom ones for anybody that needs something a little bit wider. But um it's a great way of getting different positions in sex. I mean, you can only do missionary for so fucking long, can't you? I mean, seriously.

SPEAKER_05 32:44

We bought a book, it's so cute in one of the sex stores here in LA, and it's like 365 days and there's like 365 positions or things you can try out. So we just like open and try something that we've never seen. Some work, some don't work. No, it's fun to just try. I think it's always fun to try.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

Yeah, it's just fun to try.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

I really wish upon anyone to have a partner that you can actually have fun with.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

I think that's I think that's the perfect, I think that would be the perfect solution. Yeah. Somebody that you can laugh with during sex and have I've always had this analogy of like you're either making love, which is all just so gorgeous, or you're you're fucking, which is slightly which is a slightly more intense, and you know, I just want to. I mean, I need that a little bit as well, to be honest. Yeah. I think you do need to be able to do that. You like a little bit of that too. Yeah, you like a little bit of domination. Sometimes you want to be a little bit more submissive and and things like that. And I I love it.

SPEAKER_05 33:44

All of this to say, we've actually really learned so much. And I think that your show was it came at a very crucial part in my life where I was healing from my sexual traumas. I was working with a sex coach at the time as well, and it just felt like this thing that doesn't have to be scary or dreadful, and it gets to be fun and playful. So I I really want to thank you for that. And for anyone who's listening who might resonate with my story and maybe feels a little bit uncomfortable or unsafe around sex because it seems like this world that has been dominated by porn or you know, a lot of um patriarchy. I really want to reassure you that there is a life on the other side that is fun and bright and exciting and freeing and liberating. And I think ultimately something that also brings, if you are in a partnership, brings both of you together because it makes you talk about things that you are uncomfortable with and it also makes you vulnerable to share the things that you know you're afraid of and stuff. And so I I want to thank you for the work that you do. Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Is there any plan of season two?

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Oh, we don't know yet. I mean, this is different.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

We've been live waiting. We at least at least once every six months we go on Netflix and we type. And just a double chat, yeah, yeah. Whoever is producing it, please, season two. We're ready.

SPEAKER_05 35:11

I have a I have a question. Do the do the couples does Netflix cover everything for the couples, or do the couples have to pay for all the changes happening in their room?

SPEAKER_01 35:21

No, I believe and um that they we paid for everything. Well, no, not me. The companies paid for everything.

SPEAKER_00 35:30

It kind of makes sense, you know.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

I heard that maybe they just paid the tax. I don't know. Right. And I'm a very expensive, you know, I'm I know you're expensive. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm also like yeah, I don't want to go. Not only am I expensive to hide, but uh um but uh as a designer, but I also have expensive taste. I mean it's for me, it's like, oh, I love that pillow. It's five hundred dollars. Premium luxury yes.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

Yeah, yeah. One beautiful thing about being more sexual and open and not seeing this as this, like, oh, I this is not for me, is that once you realize that this is just part of us, it frees you. And so you start carrying yourself as a person in a more energetic, more passionate way. It's almost like I recently heard one of our guests say, What did she say exactly? She said that she can recognize when someone is living sexless life. Because it is true that very often people who are seeing this as this like taboo and they're not happy, they have a different energy.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Yes, I think you're absolutely right. I have got this wonderful analogy that sex and creativity go hand in hand. Creative.

SPEAKER_05 36:40

Yeah, even spirit spiritually speaking, like that's your creative portal, right? That's where you birth, and that's where you come together.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

So it's on that note, I think it's just I think it's just people need to have more conversations about it. And don't be frightened about it.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

You know, it's saying sex is not taboo. Talking about sex is not taboo, but it doesn't have to be for procreation, just enjoy it.

SPEAKER_00 37:04

Why do you think so many people have this idea that when a woman passes a certain age there's no sex anymore?

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Oh my god, I I hate that.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

Tell them.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Oh my god, I fucking hate that. It's like I don't know what it is. I think when you're in you're a teen or something like that, you spend most of your time judging yourself, or you know, the guys will gonna have sex with her, and you've got the girls, you know, looking really nice and things like that, and then it's you know, you get into your 30s and they think, oh, 30s, yeah, it's pushing it, isn't it? Forty's goodness, people over 50, God, they don't have sex at all. That's so wrong. It's really hurtful.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

I think that's terrible. People that are 50, 60, 70, I don't fucking know where it comes from, but it's really irritating because people have sex up until you know the day they die. I don't know, but it's not well, hopefully they do, yeah. That's a nice way to go.

SPEAKER_04 38:03

I've actually thought about that before.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

Yes, masturbation.

SPEAKER_04 38:06

Oh exactly. I literally thought about that before.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

And your soul is like coming up.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

I mean, come on. I mean, somebody once said to me, and I can't remember it was, I think it was during another podcast, and they said, you know, my grandmother who's 80 has a masse come round.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

Ooh. And I'm like, good for her. Good. Nice. I mean, why not? Yeah. Why is this why is this something that we say, woo, right? It's not it should be normal, right?

SPEAKER_05 38:35

Sure. I mean, I think that the world would benefit from this not being hush hush and all of that.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

I think also. I mean, if you do feel like having sex, that's fine. Yeah, but don't say that, but that's a personal thing. But don't think that people at the age of 40 or 50 are not gonna have sex anymore. How wrong can they be?

SPEAKER_05 38:52

Some of the women that I've been speaking to, they're in their 60s and they're like, I'm having the best sex of my life because I finally know what I want. I ask for it, and I have the sex that I want.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

Oh, I think that's absolutely because they're comfortable in their own bodies. Exactly. You know, we're not that at that young age of going, oh my god, I'm gonna be judging if I don't come, I've maybe I'll fake it. I'll fake, I'll fake an orgasm. Okay. Well, I have to tell you, I've never faked an orgasm in my entire life.

SPEAKER_05 39:17

I wish I could say the same, but I faked plenty.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

I think even I faked probably.

unknown 39:21

What?

SPEAKER_05 39:22

Why even you fake an orgasm?

SPEAKER_00 39:24

I think in my in like I had a moment when I had to like no shame.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

No shame, no shame at all. But I just for me, it's like, why? If it's if if I'm not gonna orgasm if I'm not gonna come, then I'll just say uh it's not happening for me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 39:38

But I think women feel pressured to make sure that the guy doesn't feel less.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

But I think that's when you're younger. That's when I think it exactly it happens the most. Yes, I think it it's in when you're younger, it happens. When you're younger, it happens the most because you want to be able to impress the other person. Yeah, it's a good thing. And now you look back on it, it's just like, oh my God, the stress of it. You know, of like, oh, what does he think of my body? Oh my god, you know, do my are my nipples okay? You know, if I if I ah, is he gonna judge me just because I'm vocal when I'm having an orgasm?

SPEAKER_03 40:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:14

When you're in your head, it's really hard.

SPEAKER_05 40:16

Like if you're thinking about all of these things and is he thinking this about me? Is my stomach too big? Like all of the stuff that comes to your head, once you're there and you're looping, you you are not in your body feeling the pleasure. You know, it's like they don't go hand in hand.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Yeah, I absolutely agree. I think it's, you know, but look, sex gets better for, you know, I think when you're when you're slightly older, because you've you've gone past that, as we just talked about, oh my god, it's now like, yeah, I know what's gonna turn me on, I know what's not gonna turn me on. And yeah, I still like to use my underbed restraints and you know, you know, I still love to bring ad that's the other thing, adult toys into the bedroom. Why? So let me ask you this question why is it that some men, if we want to bring toys women, we want to bring toys into the bedroom, why do some men feel put off by that?

SPEAKER_00 41:08

I think a lot of a lot of men are absolutely terrified of anal. And I mean on them.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

So I think one of the reasons would probably be that the guys are like, you know, like you can keep it there, but don't use it on me.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

But that's just talking about anal. So what is it about, say for instance, um you bring a vibrator in and you feel it will be jumping with joy. Well, yeah, I know, but why do some men think that they're they're not wanted in the bed anymore? Because they feel like they're being replaced.

SPEAKER_05 41:48

Yes, that is the painful ego. Terrible? Yeah, that's that's that's that's the lack of uh that's a lack of self-esteem.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

That's a lack of self-esteem on a really high level. On a very high level, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 42:03

Yeah, okay. Now I get what you mean. It's like, oh, you're replacing me with a tool.

SPEAKER_00 42:07

Yeah, but it's not, it's not replacing you. The way you have to look at it is like getting better running shoes. Okay, you can run in crocs and it's hard. You're gonna fall.

SPEAKER_05 42:18

I will look at it as sometimes I want to wear high heels, and sometimes I want to wear sneakers, and sometimes I want to wear slippers. That's what I will look at.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

Yeah, but as a guy, I'm speaking from a men's perspective. Yeah, no, but it's not better. I use more logical. Like for a guy, you need to you need to provide a sound explanation. Okay, and in my world, it's like you get help. So instead of looking at let's say a vibrator as like, oh no, she's gonna use it and she thinks I'm not good enough for her, better reprogram and be like, okay, now I can make her go crazy extra.

unknown 42:53

Right.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

So that's your help. But I think it's so it frustrates me. It frustrates me for both partners because it's not uh you bring toys into the bedroom to experiment with each other. So would you not it's playtime. It's playtime. Would you not as a as a guy think watching your partner, you know, female partner, having an orgasm from a toy, would that not be a turn on? Would you not be wanting to masturbate at the same time and you know, pleasuring I I don't yeah no.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

It's our greatest honor to have you today. Oh my goodness, thank you so much for such a wonderful. You have inspired many people through your Netflix show, and this is for me, it's like a because I speak from personal level of not knowing you, because I would only see you on the show. Now I feel like I know you better. It's like a little insight of who you are and why you are exactly the right person on the right place.

SPEAKER_04 43:57

Oh, thank you so much. Thank you too. Thank you. You're very welcome.

SPEAKER_05 44:01

You're very welcome.