Desirable

The REAL Reason Why Women Struggle With Casual Hookups

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What if everything you thought you knew about tantra and your own sexuality was completely wrong?

Ma Ananda Sarita, legendary tantra master and student of Guru Osho for 26 years who has worked with over 30,000 students across 36 countries, joins hosts Sonya and Agon Love to shatter the myths surrounding tantra and reveal what it actually means to experience true intimacy, pleasure, and spiritual expansion. She unpacks the biological differences between masculine and feminine desire, the surprising science behind how we bond and stay bonded to our partners, and why understanding these truths may be the most loving thing you can do for your relationship. This episode will change the way you think about love forever.

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SPEAKER_04

A lot of women are actually lying to their partners because they're afraid to open up and say they are not having as much pleasure.

SPEAKER_06

One thing I tell men that sometimes they're very shocked about is that women basically need to hear.

SPEAKER_00

I would like to know how I can honor both our needs without shame. This is Ma Ananda Sarita, who served under Guru Osho for 26 years, went on to become a legendary tantra master working in person with tens of thousands of couples.

SPEAKER_06

If the man ejaculates in the woman, there is an addictive substance in the ejaculate fluid which keeps the woman addicted for one month. For one month. So if you want a woman to respond sexually to you.

SPEAKER_04

What would be the first step you would recommend to a couple? To return to this feeling of being close.

SPEAKER_06

One of the comments I hear most often after somebody does a tantra group, they say, I remember one couple that came as an absolute last resort. For 10 years they hadn't even touched each other.

SPEAKER_04

Can a relationship strive without an amazing sex life?

SPEAKER_06

He said, Thank you so much for curing my premature ejaculation. And I've heard Osho say, if you want to know if you're on the right path.

SPEAKER_04

But tantra is so much more, it's deep, it literally means to expand. And so today, who better to help us expand and learn more about Tantra than a Tantra master, a guide, a healer, ladies and gentlemen? Mahananda Sarita.

SPEAKER_06

Hello, I'm really pleased that you invited me on your podcast. And I look forward to sharing the marvelous qualities of Tantra and how it can transform your life for the better.

SPEAKER_00

What exactly for those of us and those of our viewers that don't know what tantra actually is in its authentic form and not what it's called today, what is tantra?

SPEAKER_06

It's an experiential method of learning using all the five senses. And it's been proven for accelerated learning nowadays. You know, they've done studies in Russia, in America. How can people learn faster? And they found out if people learn through five senses being awakened and utilized, they learn like three times as fast. And that combined with relaxation, surprisingly. So 20 minutes of intensive learning, 20 minutes of relaxation will help that information or whatever it is you're learning to go to the deepest part of the brain. And so this is actually how tantra works: that you do a method of meditation which will be very alive. It will use all of your senses. And then you sit in silence, you meditate, and you integrate that learning. And so the learnings go very, very deep. They profoundly transform a person in a radically short space of time.

SPEAKER_04

I come from a place that didn't even allow emotional expression, let alone spiritual. Growing up in times that were very rough as a man in Poland in post-communism? If I heard you back then, I wouldn't believe anything you say. I would think that this is like an exclusive club. In my head, it's like giving someone who suffers from obesity a path to fitness. So how can we, in simpler terms, encourage someone who's right now living a life that feels incomplete? Because that's usually easy to feel, even though someone might not be spiritually awake and they feel like, oh my life is not so good. How can we bring those people to be like, you know what? I actually want to see a bit more.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, I understand. So one of the beauties of Tantra is that you can start the path from wherever you are. Because from wherever you are can also be utilized as a method of meditation. If your mind is busy, there will be a meditation where you can tap into that busy mind, release it, and find inner peace. If you are having stress, yes, that also can be a door. If you have anger, that can also be a door into meditation. In the Vigyan Bhaira Tantra, it's literally covering the full spectrum of human life experience. From the good, bad, ugly, wonderful, amazing, mind-blowing, all of it. All of it is included. And there is literally a meditation for every state of mind or every state of being. Now there's a saying in Tantra which you might find interesting, which is no mud, no lotus. And this is describing the journey of the human being. The mud represents our instinctual nature. The roots of the lotus are in this mud of our sexuality, our animality, our instinct. And then the stem of the lotus is growing up through our chakra system, representing different levels of our consciousness. And as the stem grows, eventually it flowers as the magnificent lotus on the surface of the lake, untouched by the mud, and yet the roots are in the mud. That's what nourishes that lotus of consciousness.

SPEAKER_04

Giving people power to ground themselves wherever they are in the world, and the people watching this will just cover all continents. It's such a beautiful thing. So I would like to ask you, where does the misconception come from? Because when preparing for this episode, I read about Tantra in both ways. The right way, which not many people will find, is just genuinely educate yourself a bit deeper and understand the concept. But most of us, especially in times of the internet, we type it out and we see what pops up, right? All the top hits are about sex. Big misconceptions. Why is it? Because I I do think, I do think this is one of the main elements that currently stops certain types of people who would greatly benefit from Tantra even checking it because they think it's this woohoo stuff, I'll go to the jungle and have an orgy.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Where did it come from?

SPEAKER_04

And how can let's fix this today with this episode?

SPEAKER_06

Where did it come from? This is a really good question. Uh, you know, I used to live in India, and so I researched quite a bit. So, what could be the origins of this belief about Tantra, that it's all about sex, orgies, polyamri, who knows what? Uh, then I found out, well, the British were occupying India for about 200 years or more. And during the Victorian age, that was an age of tremendous sexual repression. I don't know if you know, but in those days, they used to cover tables with a cloth, and the cloth would hang all the way to the ground. Why? Because if you see the legs of the table, it reminds you of legs.

SPEAKER_03

Legs of the table.

SPEAKER_06

And then those legs, where are they going?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, look at this table so sexy.

SPEAKER_06

And you know, women used to wear dresses covering their ankles because if you see the ankles, you have to think those are two ankles connected to two legs, and where are those legs going? So you imagine the amount of repression.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And so scholars at that time were studying Sanskrit scriptures, trying to figure out about Indian mysticism and what is it, and of course, comparing it to their own forms of mysticism, Christianity or Judaism or whatever. So the scholars found that there are some tantric rituals which may include some elements of sexuality, and they couldn't understand with their mindset. So they dubbed it the cult of sex, and that stayed till today. That label stuck. And people would hear, oh, there's a cult in India about sex, and then they hear about Kama Sutra, which is a sexology treatise from thousands of years ago. Then they just lump it all together, oh, it's all about sex and tantra and la-da. And then it just gets dubbed like that, and then people don't follow up, they don't study and they don't know, and so then it comes into the popular mind in that way.

SPEAKER_00

And I also wonder why, as a society, we're so afraid of sex in and of itself, outside of relating tantra to sex, even if it does include parts of sexuality, like you said, why do you think that is such a big deal considering we all need sex, we create life from sex. It's this beautiful experience, and somehow I get comments on how I'm dressing all the time online. Something that maybe I wouldn't even think about would get a comment about, you know, this is too exposed and whatnot. It's interesting because we shame it and we hush hush, but there's also so much talk about it.

SPEAKER_06

It's an obsession because it's repressed. We came out of centuries of repression, and if you repress anything, it gains more strength, more power. So then it comes out looking like a monster because it's been repressed in the basement. But the interesting thing is that porn is on the rise and yet tantra is being suppressed. Yeah. Why is that? We have to look a little bit deeper into that.

SPEAKER_04

I think I can speak from my own experience. I went through a very strong porn addiction in my life. Took me many years of my life to overcome it, and it was a a defining aspect of my life because I discovered porn at seven years old. Oh my god. And I was not taken care of by parents very well, so I had all the freedom to dig deep. And I'm pretty sure people watching this who went through similar problem are currently going through that problem. There is a very strong sense of shame that happens in a person who consumes porn. At first, it starts like most of the addictions. You just start feeling great about it, and you don't understand how far, how dark it can get. And then at some point, after a few years, you just have a very, very deep sense of shame. So, in comparison to Tantra, Tantra is feels on the outside communal. It's with people, it's with someone who teaches you, it's with a partner. But porn is this like going at night and opening the fridge and snacking. It's only you in the kitchen at that moment. You open and you feel I shouldn't be eating it, but you eat it, and then you go to sleep and you live your life between these two realms of shame and just forgetting about it on the other side. So I would I would think that's the reason why porn is that, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_06

I see. Yeah. Yeah. So do you know about the experiment done by Delgado with rats where they put electrodes in the rat's brain on the orgasm center in the brain? And the rat could push two buttons. One button they get food and water, the other button they get the orgasm from the brain. And what happened? The rat pushed the button till it died, the orgasm button. Ignored food and water and just went for the orgasm button till it died. This is basically what's happening with porn addiction. It's very, very, very unfortunate. I've been teaching couples since 98. I have a seven-level soulmate series of groups. Couples go on a journey through that and they discover literally how to rise in love, how to have conscious communication, conscious sexuality, and open themselves on all levels body, heart, soul. And it's very sad that more people don't know about the potential that's inherent in our instinctual nature, in our capability to love, and in our capacity to expand into spiritual states. And it's hardwired into us, it's available for every single human being. And that's so amazing.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

We're sharing it with the people.

SPEAKER_00

And and that also we all have the capacity, because I think sometimes these things, like you said, seem inaccessible or like, you know, it's only for a select few. It's very accessible. Yeah, and that's beautiful. And you've, I from what I've learned, you have taught over 30,000 students from over 36 countries.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm really curious to know the kind of stories that you find that are repetitive in either singles that are struggling to find love or couples that are struggling to stay connected. What have you found are the dynamics that are being played out in this modern times that are resulting in that?

SPEAKER_06

Well, one of the comments I hear most often is after somebody does a tantra group, they say, Oh my God, if only I had known this when I was younger, I could have saved myself so much suffering. If only I had access to this information, how I could have changed my life. This is a very common comment. Because one of the things that happens in our society is people do not get an adequate sex education. They also do not get an adequate education how to deal with emotions. Now, I look at emotions just like weather. We have all kinds of weather conditions, which keeps a dynamic balance in the outer environment. In the same way, we have emotions that keep a dynamic balance in our internal climate. And we need those emotional states, but we need to know how to navigate them. Otherwise, it can be like a huge storm and we just have no clue how to deal with that. Lightning, thunder, and we're cowering under our blankets, and we just don't know what to do with that. So it should be part of the education system, how to go into conscious emotional fluidity, how to manage your emotions, that you don't have to dump it on others, that you can find peace even when there are emotional storms. So these are all lessons which we have at our fingertips in Tantra, and it would be nice if more people knew about it.

SPEAKER_04

And I think where it boils down to go back a bit of the how much you wish and also us wish that tantra and spiritual knowledge was default. I think where it boils down is today's times by default is when you enter a supermarket, you have to really look for an aisle that has healthy food.

SPEAKER_06

That's true.

SPEAKER_04

Everything that is served to you from the moment you step in is something that actually is not supporting life but contributing to ending it. Yes, it is exactly correct. And it's it's exactly the same. I recently learned something that really shocked me, and I showed Sonia this as well, and it it will surprise you, and I think many people don't realize this. I stopped using Instagram two years ago. Not my platform, I just wasn't entering the platform at all. And recently we started posting there again, so I would open Instagram again. And after years of not using it, what did the platform decide? A male who's in his 30s will need to see in order to come back. When I clicked on the default, I had so many naked women on my feed. If he is served, I don't know, maybe 60 to 70 percent of content from women who, by the way, were promoting mostly porn, because it's only fan fans models, who want to suck you in to go to their profile and consume. And so I think that's why having these discussions like this is so important because people need to understand it's one thing to be awakened to the values of teachings, but another thing to be awakened to the things that steal us and steer us away. Starting from the education, going through the social media to the supermarket, anywhere we go, unfortunately, it's not designed for us to be better humans.

SPEAKER_00

You know, one thing that you said reminded me about something that I had learned from one of your videos. You spoke about how we are biologically wired different for sexual pleasure, men and women. And I remember that when I first learned that information from you, I felt a resistance to it because it was so hard for me to understand that the way I experience sexual desire and what my definition of loyalty perhaps is, it could be very different from the way my husband's is.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And and at that time my fiance. But as I sat with it truly, it really helped me feel more safe because it started to become less about me, and it started to become more about how we can find a way to honor both of our needs. And so that's one thing that the porn conversation brought up for me is can you please talk to how biologically men have two pleasure centers, I believe, and women have one, yes, and how we can, especially in a monogamous relationship, I would like to know how I can honor both our needs without compromise or shame.

SPEAKER_06

I'm a great fan of understanding biology because it's actually our biology that shapes our psychology. Just one example, there was a study done where a men, a group of men, were shown photos of six women, each woman stunningly beautiful, and asked to choose which woman you would like, if you could, which woman you would like as a lover. And they all chose the woman who had been ovulating at the time the photo was taken. There was only one in the six who was ovulating. So this shows how powerful the biology is, the chemistry is. We should never underestimate it. Now, in the male brain, I'm just speaking like uh in terms of compartments, just to make it easier to understand. One compartment is for sexual uh pleasure and also intimacy, love, going deeper with a partner, going all the way into from honeymoon hormones to nesting hormones, maybe wishing to have a child with his person. And then there's another compartment which is about opportunist sex. And this compartment, there's a need in the man to regularly see woman's body parts. Now, of course, that's not designed for porn. Porn is making use of that like a parasite. But that compartment wishes to see like the curve of the shoulder, the hair, the the wonderful hips, or whatever it is as a woman is walking around, he's just noticing. And that boosts his testosterone, it keeps testosterone activated. So this is very natural. Now, part of that may include an impulse to see if he can have sex without love, just an opportunist sexual encounter, but he also needs the loving companionship and intimacy. So he has these two possibilities. Obviously, nature wants it to propagate the species in one way or another. Women have only one compartment sex and love go together. So for the woman, it's incomprehensible that she can have sex without love. Even though many women try, yeah, because women have become more masculinized, so they're trying to copy men, thinking that will empower them. But it doesn't really work actually because the woman is hardwired by nature to need emotional connection before she opens her sexuality. She needs to feel loved, adored, uh, she needs to have signs of intimacy and affection before her sexuality will fully open and flower. Now, obviously, this is because if she's going to be pregnant, she needs a mate. She needs to be bonded with a man so that he can be there for her when she's going through the vulnerable stages of pregnancy, giving birth. Raising the young child, she needs support, she needs security. Another thing that a lot of people don't realize is that if the man ejaculates in the woman, if there's fluid bonding, there is an addictive substance in the ejaculate fluid which keeps the woman addicted for one month. Wow. It's a drug, it's a drug addiction. She will literally become addicted to that man for one month, one ejaculation, one month of addiction. And this is something many people don't realize.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean it explains so why we sometimes make excuses for our partners, even when they're perhaps not healthy for us.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, this is why, because you bond to them, and the woman is designed to be the receiving, she is receiving the masculine. She will also adapt to his psychology. She will become so bonded to him that she will start making excuses for him, even if he's a very terrible person, even if he's an abusing person and beats her. She will make excuses, oh yes, he had a problem in his childhood with his mother, this, that. So even while she's being abused, she will still make up excuses and protect him because she is so bonded to him physically, mentally, psychologically, emotionally. And this is given by nature because nature wants that bonding to happen so that the woman can be protected in the vulnerable time of giving birth and raising the child.

SPEAKER_04

It's amazing how much the world actually revolves around simply wanting to have kids. Yes, to populate. Yes.

SPEAKER_06

Exactly. It's all like if you look into the deeper biology, men are looking for services from the woman, and the woman is looking for security from the man. These are the two principal attractions. So the man wants to feel a very wonderful home environment that he's being really wonderfully cared for by his beloved, and that also includes sexual services. So this is basic biology. And the woman, her first and foremost concern is she needs to feel security with the man.

SPEAKER_00

That sounds about right.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, it is. It is definitively correct.

SPEAKER_04

I remember when Sonia started educating herself on what she asked about, which is like the difference between men and women. And I really just encourage men and women to educate themselves on that because what happened to me when you did that, I felt so seen. Because Sonia created an environment for me that enabled understanding that it's very difficult to never wonder with your eyes. And I am I am in a great control and a great understanding, but what Sonia does, it's it's a very funny story. When we when many when we first started dating, I was oh no, I was 100% sure this was like not even uh this was a no-brainer. I was sure Sonia is bisexual. Sonia was the greatest enabler of oh my goodness, look at this girl. She would speak to me when we're already together. She's so hot.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just appreciating beauty.

SPEAKER_04

We we learned something very interesting. You know, in early days, I have this beautiful lady here tell me to look at girls. I'm like, okay, and I would be come on, like I I felt shy because I would I I really, really dislike the feeling when men are with their women and they will look at another girl. It it almost disgusts me, honestly. So I was like, I don't want to look because if she sees that I look at her and I'm with another, I'm that guy who's like looking at other girls. So then we we we came home, a few times this would happen, and we started talking about this, and it was so interesting to me because Sonia is very far from bisexual, first of all.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

That is why we started this podcast to learn things. What we learned, what we learned is that when Sonia was saying about a woman who's attractive, look at her, in her feminine women way, she was appreciating her for how she looks, how nicely she's dressed, maybe how hair is her hair is that the energy, the smile, whatever. To a guy, it's very hard to be like, oh my god, look at her hair. It's like if if if a man looks at an attractive woman, it's so hard to not have any sexual feeling.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04

You don't have the feeling of she's so pretty. It's like that's why like my way of navigating through this world ever since we've we've been together, because this is like this has been always very important for me because I come from a father who had many women and many children. So growing up, I had this anti-example that I said to myself I'll never become. And so it was very important for me to navigate this, and then I started dating with her, and she says, Look at girls. But it's a it's an interesting thing, and I wonder if that's what you've learned as well. Even outside of how we operate, just simply by looking, do women see women differently than men see women differently?

SPEAKER_06

Yes, definitely. Because you know, the man, it takes three seconds for him to put the woman he's seeing in any one of two boxes. It will either be deep intimate possibility or opportunist sex possibility.

SPEAKER_04

There's this T two options.

SPEAKER_06

And and the women, the women are not understanding this, so women will dress very alluring, which will put her into the opportunist sex box right away. But she's dressing alluring because she wants a long-term mate. And then she doesn't understand why she's being hit on in that way rather than being approached as a possible dating advice, actually. Yeah, it's very, very uh powerful and it takes literally only three seconds. Now, the thing that men and women don't understand is that they operate exactly opposite. So if you want a woman to respond sexually to you, you need to approach her through the heart, literally through romance, through tenderness, through love, and also approach her through non-erogenous zones of the body, taking twenty to forty minutes before ever reaching to the yoni. This is the way to approach a woman.

SPEAKER_04

Yoni is vagina for those who don't know.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, just uh vulva, but even that is yoni is a Sanskrit word and it literally means sacred place. And this is the beautiful uh sex center of the woman. For the man, the name is Lingam in Sanskrit, which means pillar of light or pillar of consciousness. So just to get that straight. So now let's come back to the subject. Now, if you want to approach a man, you need to do exactly the opposite as the woman. You should start from his lingam, worshiping and honoring the lingam, and from there you can spread the energy to the non-erogenous zones of the body. So you the approach has to be exactly opposite. Then I go in great detail about this in my course, Master Lover, which is a live course and also online course. We'll link it in the show notes for sure. Yeah, we we do something called Spiral to Heaven, which gives men what they need and women what they need, and then you bring that together, and of course, that's going to bring you to heavenly realms.

SPEAKER_00

We know which course we're doing together next.

SPEAKER_04

We've done some heavenly realms before, and I'm saying, but we could always do more. Wow, I I love this. It's it's it's a beautiful conversation we're having. So thank you so much for this. You know, uh, I heard someone speak of you and they used such a powerful statement. They said it is a true gift to be born in the same time as you, so they can learn from you. So I want to ask you a question. You receive a lot of love from people because you do so much for people, and people will truly appreciate it and give you very powerful words of affirmation and so on. And as we know, when we are exposed to praise, it can have two ways. One way is like, thank you, and I will carry on living out of my purpose, and another is thank you. I am an amazing human. I love myself so much that I'm better than everyone else. How do you navigate your ego through your life?

SPEAKER_06

Well, I can just say that uh Osho worked very hard on smashing my ego. That's one of one of the tasks that a master needs to fulfill is to destroy the ego of their disciples so that they can flower into true who they truly are. And so for many years, it was about eight years, he gave me the job of cleaning. I was a cleaner in his home. So from morning till night, starting at 5 30 in the morning, finishing in the evening, I was just cleaning all day long for eight years. And as part of as an integral part of that, my ego was getting ground into dust. How old were you when you started? I started when I was 19 with that job.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

So and I continued for eight years. And that's the time when you want to become somebody. So basically, I was nothing and nobody, just working on myself, meditating, cleaning, silently going through whatever I needed to go through. It was a time of annihilation of self. And then after eight years, he gave me a new job, which was to be completely in the public eye. So radical change where I learned public speaking, talking to the press, uh, giving tours and all of that. So first he smashed me to smithereens as an ego. Then he built me up, but by that time I had the foundation. And when I started working with people, offering healing, and then finally teaching tantra, I found out that working with people is not so different from cleaning. That we have to clean away what we are not and then give back who we already are. Now there's a wonderful scientist, her name is Candace Burt. She wrote a book called Molecules of Emotion. She studied the connection between mind, body, and emotions. Previously, science used to think mind and body are separate, which she proved was an absolute ridiculous uh idea that it's all an interconnected wholeness. And then in this book, she makes a statement: human beings are hardwired for bliss. Our original template is bliss, but we don't know it because we're covered with so many layers of gunk and conditioning and emotions and incomplete issues. So we don't find our way to that original template. Part of the work of meditation, tantra, any kind of personal development is to just clean away all those layers of who we are not and reveal that original template of bliss. And I've heard Osho say that if you want to know if you're in the on the right path, if you are miserable, you're on the wrong path. If you are in bliss, you're on the right path. So this was his criteria about finding your direction in life, and I think that's so valuable.

SPEAKER_00

It's funny you say that because our experience has been that maybe not to confuse pleasure with bliss, but a lot of times in today's age, or at least how I was raised, it was like you shouldn't be too happy. You know, or you shouldn't share your happiness too much either. Um, the evil eye will come after you. You know, there's this, or or in your case, I usually pick up on this you really need to work very hard in order to deserve bliss or even pleasure. It shouldn't just come. If it comes without trying too hard, that's almost sinful. Or it almost does not give you as much bliss because you didn't work too hard for it. And to be told that we're innately wired for bliss is such a redirection of how we can interact with our ourselves and our ability to receive joy, to be open to it rather than to be fearful of it almost, because we think, oh, if I'm too happy, something bad is gonna happen right after that. You mentioned earlier about masculine and feminine energetics, and I feel like it's talked about a lot in the spiritual community, but it's still not mainstream, it's still not something that the average person that I speak with is attuned with. But it's I would say if there was one single most important shift that I personally made in our relationship that helped us navigate some challenging times, the responsibility that I started to take for our problems, it was definitely learning to unlearn being in the masculine. Yes, a lot, very important, and not even realizing that a lot of what I was doing like that is a masculine thing, for example. And if you could just because I know if I'm not wrong, Tantra speaks to this polarity being very important in relationships as well. So if you could speak to that, please.

SPEAKER_06

So just imagine two magnets. I remember as a kid I used to love to play with magnets. I found it very fascinating. Yeah, they push each other. So if you find if you have two positive poles and you try to get them to meet, they cannot meet. If you have two receptive poles, they meet, but there's no energy behind it. If you have the receptive and the positive pole, they come together and they stick together.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_06

So in relationship, we need to maintain that positive receptive polarity. Yin and Yang is basically expressing the positive and receptive polarities of life. And it weaves through all of life, everywhere, night and day, summer and winter, birth and death, male and female, it's everywhere. When you are awake versus when you're sleeping, etc. And so these we this weaving together of yin and yang and these magnetic polarities is the play of life. It is the lila. Lila means divine play. So this divine play is weaving throughout all of existence. And if we are intelligent, we will maximize the polarities in our relationship so that we can come together very powerfully. We will be automatically drawn together. And tantra will emphasize it a lot, which maintains a lot of spiciness in the relationship because it's that magnetic attraction that makes things very juicy and spicy. Yeah. And so it's very good when women maximize their femininity, men maximize their masculinity, and then you see what magic happens when you come together.

SPEAKER_04

For a thinking brain type, what is the percentage you target in like as a man? What's the percentage of a masculine? I know some people think that way.

SPEAKER_06

I want to cater towards all minds. You want a strong magnet or a weak magnet? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

I I like a strong magnet.

SPEAKER_06

Then you want a good percentage. But you know, in terms of our uh differences in biology, it's not that much between feminine and masculine, but it is enough to make a strong difference, even though it's not so much biologically speaking. And one way we approach it in tantra is through the chakra system, because we have positive polarity and receptive polarity within the chakra system that emphasizes our masculinity or our femininity. So the positive polarity for the man will be his sex center, solar plexus, and throat. Positive polarity for the woman is lower belly, heart chakra, third eye center, with the crown chakra being beyond duality. So we are weaving together these positive receptive polarities. Just like you have in the first chakra, just imagine you have the positive polarity entering the receptive polarity. So physically we can see how that's happening, and we know the result will be orgasm, and that this is very, very pleasurable. Hopefully, hopefully.

SPEAKER_04

That's not given. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

But the same wonderful orgasmic capacity is inherent in each of the chakras, and that can happen within yourself, but also with another. So just as in the first chakra you have that meeting, in the second chakra, the woman is the positive polarity, man is the receptive polarity, and through that meeting there is an orgasmic oneness that is created.

SPEAKER_00

The challenge, I think, for me personally has simply been, you say, to enhance what's already natural for you. But I think a lot of us, at least I can speak for the women, we have been so far disconnected to what from what is actually natural to us, that we might think that it's natural for us to be in our hyper independent masculine state. At least that's how I felt that I'm oh naturally this, you know, um ambitious person, for example, or naturally not wanting him to pay, for example, because I'm independent. Yes. Only to realize that what I was doing unconsciously was removing opportunities for him to show up in his masculine and for me to surrender, which is really what our relationship was needing.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, this is exactly correct. You know, when the women's liberation movement started, women were so disempowered and they were wanting to empower themselves, and the only role model they saw who is empowered is the masculine. So they thought we have to copy men and compete with him and do even better than him in order to be powerful.

SPEAKER_05

Right.

SPEAKER_06

So this is where women took a wrong turn, and it's taken many years for women to realize oh, that doesn't really work because I don't feel very good pretending to be a man. We're not there yet, but it's starting to happen because we have a an enormous women's movement now where women are trying to discover their inner goddess, yes, their feminine and feminine empowerment.

SPEAKER_04

It's a great damage to union and the world where the movement of feminism revolves around the concept of women being more like men.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, it's a very sad state of affairs.

SPEAKER_04

It hit quite strong through pop culture and so on. The idea that for many years women couldn't do things specifically, and so now we're gonna be just like men.

SPEAKER_06

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

It's not something that is good for the future of the world because men, men will destroy the world without feminine. Like majority, if you just realistically look at the world, it's a massive percentage of the problems in the world that come from men. When it comes to wars, when it comes to corporate problems, when it comes to the default of the design of the supermarket and all these things, is the masculine brain that is trying to optimize for gaining the most income, the most profit, the most leadership, the most power that very often puts uh people under.

SPEAKER_00

It's the shadow.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, it's the shadow. But women are so beautiful in understanding compassion and wanting the best for others as well. That's why please make the world a bit more feminine. I like it.

SPEAKER_06

So I think what is needed actually is a harmonious balance of masculine and feminine that creates one tree of life. And if we look at testosterone, if we isolate what is in testosterone, there there are qualities such as territorialness, muscular strength, goal-orientedness, competition, and high libido. So these are written into testosterone, which is principle. Male hormone. Now, the only problem is if this is devoid of feminine qualities, meaning testosterone qualities get isolated from the feminine, feminine qualities being love, nurturing, compassion, empathy. So all these qualities are inherent in the feminine. And if we bring the masculine qualities and the feminine together, we get a holistic world, actually. Now in cities, this is one of my pet peeves, in cities all over the world, you have these conical pillars. You must have seen that. It's basically phallic symbol. This is giving a message into the surrounding testesterone rules.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_06

Now, if you don't have it surrounded by a yoni, meaning the sacred place, the divine feminine, then you have testosterone running amok, divorced from the feminine. If you surround it with a yoni, and I think this should be a law that every conical pillar has to have a yoni around it, then you have balance coming into this world. So that symbolism of the Shiva Linga is so powerful, so beautiful, it's really exquisite. And that is bringing harmony into a space. And we need more of this in our world.

SPEAKER_04

We need more roundabouts in the city.

SPEAKER_06

That creates a whole tree of life.

SPEAKER_00

What I find really beautiful about you is that you've managed to have a mission in your own life that you are still so steadfast, committed to, and you have this, you know, what some might call a career, but I believe is a mission and a message that you're sharing. And I think a lot of times women feel this fear of if I become too feminine, then I will need to give up my dreams and my ambition. Because a lot of women also have their own purposes. Looking at you, I just feel this sense of relief that you can very much drop into your feminine and have a mission and purpose and what maybe some might call a career and go forth with it. And how have you, well, I know how you've managed to do that, but maybe just give us women some hope that you actually can do both. You don't without sacrificing your essence.

SPEAKER_06

So what I say to women is we are very much centered around our heart chakra, the breast, the heart chakra, which is a nurturing field of energy. We are giving love, we're sharing empathy in our community or with our families. We are very compassionate. Now, this is a very, very powerful force in the world. There's even a saying, love is God, or God is love. So that means God is alive and well in the female heart chakra. Now imagine how much power that is and how much love, if it's given the fullness of its expression, can change the world. So we women are tremendously powerful. Now think of yin. Yin is a watery element. Think of water. It looks like, yes, it can be very peacefully flowing, but it can also be a tsunami. Yeah. It can also be uh a waterfall. Many electric dams, they're you know, they're made from water basically, and that's providing electricity. So just think how much power women actually have. But we're not trusting it, we're not tapping into it. We're trying to pretend to be somebody else, to be like a man. So we basically weakening our own power by doing that. If we can tap into feminine power, we can transform this world into a literal paradise. This is the the potential that we carry. And of course, with the support of the masculine, because the the qualities inherited in testosterone are very powerful and are very much needed in this world. The logical brain, which is considered as the masculine brain, very much needed in this world. But the feminine qualities of love, creativity, are tremendously needed as well.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

And this is one reason I love Tantra, because Tantra equally honors the masculine and the feminine equally.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm guilty of this in the past as well, in my previous relationships, where I would very carelessly and casually speak down to my ex-partner. And I've noticed a lot of women do that these days openly, whether it's about their own partners, or just like there is a just like there is a women hating incel group, there's also a rise of men hating women. And I like that you said, yes, we do all of that and be in our heart, but with the support of the masculine.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And I think it's really important that we start to realize that we do need men because it's almost become this taboo thing to say as a woman that I do need my man. And I found that as soon as we feel safe enough to say that in truth, a lot of the dynamics actually shift within our relationship, like so much.

SPEAKER_01

It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

And yeah, I just there was someone recently who told me a man told me that he was fearful of opening the door for a woman. He jokingly said it, but he said it in truth that he was afraid of holding open a door for a woman because he had gotten into trouble for doing that. Someone had told him off, like I don't know how she said it, but she told him off. And there's just there we've created this dynamic where men also feel afraid to come forth and fully be in their masculine and protecting because they feel like maybe we might get offended. Because sometimes we do get offended. It's very sad.

SPEAKER_04

Wow, what a what a beautiful amount of deep and powerful teachings we have because of you today. Thank you so much. What are some of the most transformative memories you have while working with couples and seeing them change, learn something, have a reaction, change for the better, for having shock or whatever like that? What are some of these moments that really come first to you as an idea of the most wow moments you experienced?

SPEAKER_06

Well, basically, I'm used to a steady diet of miracles. This is this is a fact. I see miracles in every group. Um, so I'll just name a few of them. I remember one couple that came as an absolute last resort. They had been together for I think twenty years or something. For 10 years they hadn't even touched each other, let alone had sex. Just even to touch was too much. They had tried sex therapy, they'd gone for counseling, they did everything they could. So finally they came to Tantra, and because they couldn't touch each other, we had to move very slowly. So I said, you do all these different love appointments as if you are going to be touching, as if you're going to be making love, but just as if you don't have to physically touch. And slowly but surely I got it to the point where they could touch. You know, the woman had vaginis, which means that she couldn't take the lingam inside at all.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

So starting with just the little fingertip and slowly, slowly and gradually. So by the end of the series of seven levels, they were like a honeymoon couple. And then me and my partner, we said to them, Oh, so now it's like it used to be in the old days. They looked at us, they said, It's never been like this. Never. They were just couldn't get enough of each other, they were in each other's arms, they were so happy together. After 20 years. And of course, there's the usual thing that happens that somebody has a problem, sexual dysfunction. Maybe the man is a premature ejaculator. So I remember one guy at level four, he said, Thank you so much for curing my premature ejaculation with my wife. I said, But you never told me you had this problem because we could have cured it already in the first level. You waited till the fourth level. And he said, Oh, I didn't want to say, I was too embarrassed, but I was just trusting the methods, and the methods worked, so it's okay. And one of the most common, I say, uh, like women come up to me secretly, but this happens hundreds of women, basically. They come and they and I know what's going to come. So they want to whisper to me secretly. I have trouble to have orgasm. I really can't have orgasm. And I say, Oh, oh, I'm so sorry. Please tell me more details about it. Yes, when my husband penetrates me, I don't feel much, I feel numb, and uh I can't get orgasm. Something's wrong with me. So then I ask the next question, and what about when you self-pleasure? Oh, self-pleasure, of course, I can have orgasm. Oh, so what you do differently when you self-pleasure that you're not doing during sex? I just have something in my eye. And then she'll say, Well, of course, I touch my clitoris. Oh, but why don't you touch your clitoris during sex? Oh, because that's not right. I should orgasm from penetration alone. Where did you get that idea? Oh, everybody knows that. And then I heard that so much, I was so fed up with this. Yeah, I started tracking where did that come from? Where did this belief come from? And I found out it came from Freud, who made a statement that if a woman orgasms from penetration alone, she is uh a mature woman, and if she needs her clitoris stimulated, she is an immature woman. She's like a bud, she hasn't yet flowered as a woman.

SPEAKER_04

I love how a man describes the guy's experience.

SPEAKER_06

Now then uh later on, Masters and Johnson, who did research on human sexuality and made, they basically started the sexual revolution through their findings. So they particularly studied the statement of Freud and they found out it was absolutely erroneous that the clitoris and the clitoral network is always involved in the woman's orgasm in one way or another. So this is what they found out. And then further researchers found out if you ask a woman to orgasm without any clitoral stimulation, it's exactly the same as if you ask the man to orgasm without any stimulation to the tip of his lingum. Now, if you ask that to a man, he would look at you and say, Are you crazy? What the hell, bro? Like, what's well, of course, of course I need the tip of my lingam stimulated. But you asking the woman to orgasm without stimulating the catus is exactly the same anatomically.

SPEAKER_04

So what the you know, you know what the F. You know. I I really think we as men, we have quite a lot of identity attached to our sex drive.

SPEAKER_06

And so Which is normal.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, yes, but I would take it a step further, and I I would say it's not only that as a man we we associate our identity with the sex drive, but also I feel like it takes a real man to actually learn about feminine female sexuality. Because I I don't know percentages because no one's gonna come clean about it, but I really think a lot of women are actually lying to their partners because they're afraid to open up and say the truth that they are not having as much pleasure while having sex as their partners think because it's very emasculating for a man who's not yet comfortable with things like that, because the automatic natural reaction for a man who's being said, hey, you know, like I'm not fully enjoying this, is like, am I not good enough? Right, like I'm trying my best. What does it mean you don't enjoy it? The natural reaction of a man who's not healthily sorted out yet is that it's the women's fault. Yes. And I mean, once again, the world is so structured to put the blame on feminine, on the female. I mean, just the entire structure of most of the religions demonizes women in a way of like sexuality and how men are are the right ones in a sense. So I learned so much with Sonia. Like I I haven't had this experience with any other partners before. I learned so much about actually learning about female body.

SPEAKER_06

I learned with the body.

SPEAKER_04

And we read we read books together, we read Come As You Are, which I really recommend to people. It's a beautiful tradition for a couple to read a book that teaches something for a guy that you would never hear of.

SPEAKER_06

Yes.

SPEAKER_04

It's like as a guy you go so simple, it's like, yeah, you put it in and she just enjoys it.

SPEAKER_00

Because your porn is sex education.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, because it's exactly porn is educating you, or most of women are pretending to calm and there's no other sex education, so people turn to porn for sex education, which is exactly the diametrically opposite from what they should learn.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah. Like I was reading an ancient Chinese Taoist scripture, it was translated into English, and they were talking about how to go into sex. This was a tantric approach, Taoist Tantric approach. So in that scripture, they were detailing how the man has to be very attentive to the woman's patterns of arousal. Because woman's arousal comes like this. Man's arousal is like this, and woman's goes like this in waves. So they they should watch the patterns of arousal, how the sweat is coming on her skin, the glow of the skin changing, the fluttering of the eyelashes, or the breath changes and the heat here and there in the body, and all of that. And uh he should continue in this way using his artistry to tune the instrument of the woman because she's considered like a musical instrument. And then they said, only if she begs him with tears in her eyes is he allowed to go into penetration. So this is a very profound statement.

SPEAKER_00

I love this for all of us women.

SPEAKER_04

You you just have tears in your eyes.

SPEAKER_00

I think I I just I swear I'm not.

SPEAKER_04

Are you in that zone now? I'm trying to learn.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, you're gonna have to work a lot before we get back.

SPEAKER_06

And there's a really special book. It's called Vagina, a new biography by Naomi Wolfe, where she's interviewing scientists and doctors who have been studying about female sexuality and the female yoni, vagina, etc. And so they're giving very precise details actually what women need in order to go into sexual play. And this is absolutely fascinating. In general, she needs approximately 20 to 40 minutes of erotic play before penetration. This is just how the woman's sexuality is. And after having one orgasm, she stays on the orgasmic plateau for another 20 minutes, ready for more orgasms. Now, this is an obvious discrepancy with a masculine who can be ready like within three minutes, not only for penetration, but even for ejaculation. Of course, if he's killed in sexuality, he will last longer. But for some men, that's basically it. Three minutes and finished. And uh so that is a discrepancy between men and women. And then the fact that he's released, if he ejaculates, he's released approximately 500 million sperm. That's a lot of energy that's just gone out of his body. So naturally he needs to rest for 20 minutes to recharge. It's a kind of small death. So this discrepancy is there, and both Kama Sutra and Tantra look at ways of bridging that difference. How can we bring our intelligence to the whole phenomena of sexuality and relating to bridge the differences between men and women? So this is part of the art and science of Tantra.

SPEAKER_04

You know, the male world is so funny. It's men, we will have sometimes, I don't know where did I get this advice, but you hear it from friends and so on. Sometimes men, in order not to come too soon, literally work on like putting a thought in your head while having sex that is as far unsexy as possible. So like you will think of I don't know, dogs that are like puppies. And so you stop the grandma. No, I would never think of grandma. It's it's I used to do that. I used to like there were moments because as a man you have this moment when you want to prove yourself, and in some ways, for men, men associate because there's this tone of like jokes about men who can't last long, right? There's a full stigma around it, which is totally not okay. Because that exactly comes from the ignorance of male thinking that the only way you have sex with a woman is from the moment you enter her. That is the greatest misconception because foreplay for a woman can sometimes do more than the sex itself, because the female feels so seen and appreciated and focused on because that is very often strictly for you. I've been very not do anything. No, I've been very fortunate because you know that I love seeing you enjoy. Just to be sure. How are you reacting to that as a surprise to this? I always tell you that I love seeing you, you know, enjoy. And so it's such a funny thing how the how the world works, that we as men we're gonna learn, you need to think of like uh like like things that are not sexy while having sex in order not to come. And that's why your teachings are so important. So I want to ask you before we we still have a little time, before we move to our segment of the wheel, I want to ask you a final question for a couple that right now is in a spot that perhaps is not having a lot of spark. They've been together for a while, maybe a few years, and at the beginning the journey was amazing and they started great, and as it often happens in relationships, the spark fizzles away. What I want to ask you is what would be the first step you would recommend to a couple to do in order to return to this feeling of being close that is just the two of them?

SPEAKER_06

Yes. So, first of all, we have to uh think again about biology, that there are honeymoon hormones that last approximately three years, and these are then replaced by what we could call nesting hormones. Nesting hormones means you basically creating a home together, maybe having a child together, you nesting, and it creates a very deep form of intimacy and fulfillment through close bonding. But then the honeymoon hormones might wither away. And we need to find way creative ways of activating those honeymoon hormones again. And this is done by remembering how it was when you first got together. What kind of things were you doing? How was your thought process at that time? One thing is you didn't live together, you used to meet sometimes. So that means creating some kind of space in your relationship is very important. Like not necessarily sharing the bed every night. Maybe you want to have separate bedrooms and you meet sometimes the whole night, other times you sleep in your own space. So then you create that polarity dynamic and a level of excitation that, oh, tonight we're having a date night. Oh my God, it's so amazing, it's so exciting. And then think of how you used to entice and lure each other, maybe writing some poetry, some hot, juicy text, and exciting each other in different ways throughout the day. So you have to again bring in those qualities that used to be there in that spicy honeymoon time and always be inventive with what you are bringing into the relationship. Keep on being creative, think of surprises for each other, little gifts, little ways to express appreciation. One thing I tell men that sometimes they're very shocked about is that women basically need to hear and feel demonstrated, I love you every day. And many men, if I say that to them, they say, Oh, but I told her three months ago, so she knows it. Three months the three months. Because for him, it's a very logical, like, yes, I. Said I love her, and now three months have passed, so she knows that it's uh ditto every day.

SPEAKER_04

We have this running joke when I say when I when I say I love you, and she we have this running joke, and she says, Now I know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, now I know.

SPEAKER_04

It's like it resets itself.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and um, it's true. We say it a lot, and it it he says it a lot, and I always feel like it never gets old.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, it's always for the woman, it's always fresh, always very, very important because she needs to feel that heart connection. You know, essentially, if we look at how men and women are relating to each other, the man is essentially saying, Can't you just lay down and open your legs? And she's saying, Can't you open your heart? Yeah. So the woman is asking the man for what she needs. He's asking her for what he needs. Now, if you just use your intelligence there and you understand, okay, she needs heart connection. He needs to be honored and appreciated in his first chakra in his Lingam. This is just basic fact. That was so such an important thing.

SPEAKER_04

This is just so much. We are giving people today, we're giving them relationship and self-work superpowers. Yes, thank you so much for for an incredible, incredible amount of knowledge and just sharing your life stories. What we would love to do now is to activate a little segment.

SPEAKER_00

Play a game with you.

SPEAKER_04

It's fun, yeah, exactly. Unplug, it's random, it's exciting, and it's the wheel. So we're gonna bring in the wheel.

SPEAKER_06

So we're reinventing the wheel, yeah. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_04

We have reinvented some wheels today for sure. The rule is very random. We don't know what it's gonna land on, yeah, but we have answers to everything.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yeah, and then it will just stop wherever.

SPEAKER_04

Relationship nightmare.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_06

Oh, I thought it was stopping on love therapy. I like that one. Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, you're the guest. Move it, move it.

SPEAKER_06

You you no, no, it's okay. Done.

SPEAKER_04

So anything, the power of editing.

SPEAKER_00

Love therapy something.

SPEAKER_04

Love therapy.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so we have a submission from Daniela, and she says, I've been seeing this guy for eight months now. He's so sweet, he's good to me, he checks in, he's thoughtful, he's stable, but I don't feel the crazy butterflies. It's not intense, it's not fireworks. I've had really intense relationships in the past. They were a bit toxic, but there was also so much more passion. Now this feels boring, almost too calm. I don't know if I'm just bored or if this is actually what healthy love feels like and I just don't recognize it. Is it me?

SPEAKER_06

You know, it all comes down to chemistry. So, what you need is to find out how many electromagnetics you have together, or do you have any electromagnetics? And this you can find out by doing human design. So you do a human design session on yourself, on your partner, and then your combined human design charts, and you will find out how many electromagnetics you have. If you have zero, it will never work sexually because the chemistry is not sufficient for it to work. If you have one, two, three, or four electromagnetics, that's very good. You can have you can build a relationship with that. If you have more than four, it's too intense. The connection is too intense to sustain as an ongoing relationship. So this is a really valuable tool. You can also check uh how many compromises you have to each other and how to navigate those, because compromises are what breaks a relationship, actually. Most people do have compromises, but it depends on how many who has to who and then how you navigate that that will make all the difference in a relationship. So I always recommend people, if you're interested in a long-term relationship with somebody, please check the human design and see if you are compatible. And I personally think that using such tools saves people a lot of time and energy.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_06

Because just imagine you go into a relationship, you're in it for three or five years only to find out, well, actually, we're not really well matched. We tried our best, but what to do? And you just spent four years of your life. Of course, maybe it was rich and enjoyable in many ways, but maybe you didn't really need to do that or to spend that many years trying to find out if it works. So I think using these support tools is really, really valuable. And how can they get this? Do they need an astrologer or someone that's a good idea? Uh if you want Vedic astrologer, you can just uh find someone who's expert in that. Right. And you can also check online. I can't say how reliable it is online. There's also a possibility of using Chat GBT. Of course, you need to input the adequate information to get back an adequate response. Right. Or you can find a human design analyst. There are people all over the world who are doing that. Right. That's so useful. I really, really recommend it. I've used it myself and it saved me from relationships that were not really going to go anywhere, you know, really saved and helped.

SPEAKER_04

What I want to ask is on a little bit different level regarding some situations. Can a relationship strive without an amazing sex life?

SPEAKER_06

No.

SPEAKER_04

No.

SPEAKER_06

If you if there's a relationship that's uh it's a lovership, meaning you're intending to be lovers, it's not just a friendship. There needs to be basic sexual chemistry. If you have basic sexual chemistry, then you can develop that further. You can develop that into a heart-based connection, into a soul-based connection. But if there's no basic chemistry, there's no hope for a sexual relationship. And I know there are a lot of marriages where there's no sex in the marriage. And I always ask, but then why keep it as a marriage? You can just transition into loving friendship, and then you can seek a partner where you can enjoy sexual union.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

That would be ideal. Because it is everybody's birthright to know the full range of their ecstatic potential. And that's quite challenging if you're with a partner where you you never have sex, actually.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. That is gonna be a great I'm not sure how a lot of people are going to take that, but I think it's like, why are you acting like siblings or roommates when you are in a marriage?

SPEAKER_04

I guess relationship is there's always the fear, especially when you put so much work into something, that you can't find someone who will be better than what is happening now, especially after a few years. But I love what you said about the birthright.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it is birthright.

SPEAKER_04

What a way to visualize, especially for people who struggle perhaps with self-esteem and they don't think they deserve something great. Because I know I come from a background where I didn't deserve love. I thought, I mean, I discovered love at 31. Wow. Pretty late in life. Wow. This is love right here. Which, by the way, love is our surname, so even better after getting married. What a paradox, not knowing love until 31. And I convinced myself that I am because of how I was treated as a child, because of my upbringing and experiences, I'm just not gonna be able to love. I accepted it. I was looking for like a partnership at some point, but I was like, this is not gonna be love because I'm incapable. And then it found me. And I love saying this to people because I think there's a lot of broken children out there in the world, and we think that we don't deserve something, we don't deserve pleasure, we don't deserve love, we don't deserve to be accepted, we don't deserve to be understood. And when you truly feel into this depth of the saying that it is humans' birthright to be happy, to be loved, to feel good.

SPEAKER_06

It is your birthright. And usually the search for God, the search for love, the search for everything in life is based on our deep yearning to find our full capacity for inner ecstasy. Because deep down we know it's waiting for us, but we just don't know how to get there. And it is easily doable with tantra. And even in a relationship where you love each other, but you're not finding that depth of fulfillment, you can develop that quite easily through tantra practices. Like couples get so amazed how quickly they can find that inner ecstasy. We just finished a seven-day retreat, and by the end, the couples were saying, I have never had such good sex in my entire life. I never had so much inner ecstasy. I didn't even know this was possible. And this is just after seven days. So why wait for seven years, twenty years settling for less than is your potential? We don't have to do that. We can go for the full potential.

SPEAKER_04

Wow. Maybe we could do some type of a practice that perhaps some people, couples who will be watching could also recreate. Are you okay with that?

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, it would be very special.

SPEAKER_04

Amazing, okay.

SPEAKER_06

I would like to propose a meditation which is called loving is receiving. And every in breath, opening your arms like angel wings. It's a very powerful method which can be done in the couple, it can also be done on your own.

SPEAKER_05

Love is the greatest healing force that exists in this world.

SPEAKER_06

So if you're at home alone and you want to try this, the recommendation is to try it in front of a mirror.

SPEAKER_05

You don't have to receive from the other. You are both receiving from the whole universe.

SPEAKER_06

This particular meditation method was developed by a tantra master named Diane Manish. He is a tantra master and clairvoyant healer from France.

SPEAKER_05

You are both worthy of receiving love.

SPEAKER_06

It's based on the understanding that loving is receiving.

SPEAKER_05

And now, even though you're not moving your arms, you are still practicing this method.

SPEAKER_06

Now just imagine a fountain that is uh has no water, and then you're saying to the fountain, overflow, become a fountain. Of course, it's not able to do that. First, you have to fill the fountain with water, and then it can overflow. Now many people are told over and over again throughout their life, give love, share love, but nobody asks, have you received enough love to be able to overflow? Every in-breath, opening to love, every outbreath, receiving love. Like you were mentioning in your childhood, you didn't receive enough love, and that led you into a feeling of being unworthy of love. You thought love is not possible for me.

SPEAKER_05

Opening to the love that is omnipresent in the universe.

SPEAKER_06

This is because the child between 0 and 7 believes that everything revolves around themselves because they are helpless, they need support, so they think that the whole world revolves around them. If there is a divorce, they think, oh, that was my fault. And then this becomes an ingrained pattern, and that we feel deep down that we are unworthy of love.

SPEAKER_05

Receiving love deep into your whole being.

SPEAKER_06

Now this meditation is turning all that around completely. It's going to transform that pattern because we're coming into a new understanding that the child couldn't have, the child couldn't know that love is actually omnipresent in the universe. For somebody to ask, where is love? is just like a fish in the sea asking, where is the water? We are living in an ocean of love. And now, next phase, you are simply allowing love to overflow.

SPEAKER_05

The fountain is full, and love is overflowing without any effort.

SPEAKER_06

You can come into a kneeling position opposite to each other.

SPEAKER_00

Wow.

SPEAKER_04

How did he learn through you?

SPEAKER_00

I'm really surprised at how much can happen in such a short period of time. It felt simultaneously short and long.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, because we're stepping beyond mind and beyond time.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I that was interesting. And I think one thing that made it so special was actually believing in everything you were saying. As you said, that you deserve all the world, love in the world, everything. Like it was really feeling your words in my heart that made the receptivity of everything extra beautiful.

SPEAKER_06

This is the the feeling and the experience. Oh, I'm reclaiming something I sensed was there, but I could never catch hold of it. Like a remembrance. Like a remembrance.

SPEAKER_04

I have gained many lessons from spending time with you today. And perhaps one that stands out the most to me is that in order to achieve happiness, fulfillment, love in life, all you need is you. And that is just so powerful because it shifts the control to a person who perhaps is stuck in an environment that is difficult, unhappy. And they already have all the tools around them in order to achieve more than anything anyone could possibly imagine. So that's that lesson for me stays very strong because when you said that love is omnipresent, I think we naturally shift uh love into other people. So looking at a partner, you kind of expect that love will be given to you because you are in a partnership together. But shifting that into just understanding that love is, as you said, everywhere, everything. It starts our life, it ends, it's at the end of our lives, is everything. It's just such a powerful realization that I is my favorite outtake from today.

SPEAKER_00

During the meditation, as you said that, as you said that we were gathering love from what's the whole rather than from the other, that also brought me a sense of safety in that moment. It felt like, oh, I'm not taking from him. There's enough for the both of us outside of us. I'm not me receiving love does not equal you lost something.

SPEAKER_06

And that made me feel because many couples they play that game like as if they have a begging ball, and okay, I'll give you one bushel of love, but uh, you know, that's all I have. So you give me one buck. Yeah, you you give me some back, like you know, so it's a give and take, and it's like two beggars begging for love, and that's not the way it should be. We should be empress and emperor of love. Yeah, because we are children of an abundant universe, and we deserve the love that is omnipresent in this universe.

SPEAKER_04

It fascinates me that you've been doing this for so long and you have experienced this with tens of thousands of people in person. So, with all of these experiences, after you have achieved and accomplished so much and changed so many lives, what is what is your focus now? What are you how how people how can people experience you?

SPEAKER_06

Well, there's different ways. One way is through my books. I have two books on Tantra, through my online courses, through my live courses with me or my Kaula team. I have a team of teachers who have trained with me for years. They're really exceptional human beings, exceptional teachers. And my dream is also to create or co-create a community which will be a template for how human beings can live. I want to show that another world is possible. There's a very beautiful Zen saying this very body, the Buddha, this very place, the Lotus Paradise. And I firmly believe that this is a possibility that humans can live like this. And I want to prove it through the community structure, like a kind of eco-village, uh, a place where people can go and evolve themselves in whatever way they need.

SPEAKER_04

So if anyone watching this could contribute in any ways to helping you build that community, whether it's with uh skill of architecture, donations, and so on, yes. We are going to leave the link to for people to perhaps be early supporters.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, based on reality, it's based on my experience. Yeah, you've lived it as well. I have lived it, so I know in my bones how to manifest this. And of course, one person can't do it alone, so we need a team of talented people to pull it all together.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_06

And this is my new goal, I could say it like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

And where do you plan to create the first community? In which place in the world?

SPEAKER_06

I'm investigating either Bali or Thailand. Nice. So one or the other, because I think people love to come to these places. They are hubs of personal development also, and then it can spread to other places. Because the whole world needs it, let's face it.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely. Feels like a love revolution.

SPEAKER_06

Yes, love evolution.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, exactly. Love evolution.

SPEAKER_04

Amazing. That's sounds.

SPEAKER_00

I have one final question for you. I really want to know what your own experience with love has been, and why are you so invested in the sacred union?

SPEAKER_06

It's always been my path. When I was a child, I was sexually abused. So I was very motivated to heal myself. And I came to Osho like broken, basically. He offered me very profound uh wisdom, advice, support to heal myself, to come into that state of sublime meditation and inner ecstasy. And it was a very, very profound experience to be guided by a spiritual, spiritually awakened being. And then uh so from the very beginning, my relationship was founded on tantra. We were practicing tantric meditation, and I just found that such a wonderful way to live in relationship. I understood that what I've experienced on my personal path is what people need. That's the medicine they need. And I just felt highly motivated to share it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. It's it shows. Thank you so much. I, the one thing that people listening or watching through video will not be able to experience as well as the two of us will be is your energy. It's really like palpable and it feels so the presence, right? It's just so it's always different when someone teaches something and it's a lived experience and it's so embodied and it's called a transmission.

SPEAKER_06

Exactly. Traditionally, tantra has always been passed as a transmission. Somebody who's steeped in the experience offers the space and the guidance for for other people to experience that. So it is passed as a living transmission. And I trust and believe that even if you're sitting at home watching this on video, you are receiving the transmission like this. From my heart to yours.