Across the Whoniverse: A Doctor Who Marathon Podcast
A Doctor Who marathon podcast hosted by Chels & Paige
Across the Whoniverse: A Doctor Who Marathon Podcast
S01E12 "Bad Wolf" w/ Jesse Garcia
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Time Lords! This week, we've kidnapped reality TV herstorian Jesse Garcia, co-host of the Shhh, My Stories Are On! podcast, for his first real foray into the Whoniverse as we're transported into the Game Station 100 years after the events of Satellite Five.
The Doctor, Rose Tyler, and Captain Jack Harkness are transported into futuristic reality shows like Big Brother and The Weakest Link, where they have to play to win or face deadly consequences. As they lip-sync for their lives and try to reunite, they discover they're on a familiar spaceship and they can no longer ignore the Bad Wolf warnings.
Our hosts walk Jesse through his first proper episode of Doctor Who and Jesse has hot takes! We discuss how we'd like to spend our golden years like the human viewers of the Game Station, how Jesse is kindred spirits with Jackie Tyler, and how he doesn't get the appeal of Jack Harkness. Our listeners ask us to cast the Doctor into our favorite reality shows and we discuss how our favorite Big Brother contestants would do on this futuristic version. Plus, stay for the post-credits Zoog Disney tangent!
Join us as we travel Across the Whoniverse!
Email us with questions or comments at AcrossTheWhoniversePod@gmail.com
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Across the Whoniverse
Paige
RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline
Welcome to Across the Hooniverse, a Doctor Who Marathon Podcast. I'm your friendly neighborhood, Time Lord Chelsea. And I'm your Muppet of a Time Lord Page. But shh, we're having a takeover. We have invited our companion, Jesse, from our other podcast, Shh, My Stories Are On. Who Jesse, this is your first foray into Doctor Who. Why did you agree to this challenge? What is wrong with you? Why did you agree to do this with us?
SPEAKER_01Because you told me to.
SPEAKER_04It's a good answer. That's true. You have said on many occasions that we specifically could talk you into anything.
SPEAKER_01Mostly. Yeah, this is up there. I've always been I love like a big franchise or things with a lot of history or things that are very niche. So it's always been on my list to eventually dabble in the Doctor Who franchise. And I feel like we've been talking about this for months now.
SPEAKER_04I think we've been talking about it for almost a year because me and Paige have been working on this for a while, producing things behind the scenes. And this is the episode, the only episode I could think of in this first season for you, because it's all about reality television. So, Jesse, why don't you just tell the listeners a little bit about yourself and all the reality shows you watch?
SPEAKER_01Yes. So I'm Jesse. I do another podcast with Chelse and Paige, which I was so excited at the beginning, being like, ah, I get to be a guest now. But then like I was like, oh, I really don't do much on our podcast other than feeling like just a guest. Um, if like you guys always take the lead. But yeah, I love reality TV. I feel like we grew up in like the golden age of like the best reality TV, like the VH1 school. I love money charm school. Back when reality TV could really be a career and there wasn't even influencing or anything, it was just like, yeah, this was it. You had dignity.
SPEAKER_04Back when you could fist fight on TV.
SPEAKER_01Ugh, take me back. Um, please reach out to me whenever they do a documentary about the VH1 of Love series because they absolutely need to.
SPEAKER_03Well, you need to make it, that's why they haven't done it yet.
SPEAKER_01Uh, yes, add that to my list of aspirations.
SPEAKER_04You are a reality TV historian.
SPEAKER_01I try like that, a shot at love with Tila Tequila, um, just all the things that raised me as a queer kid watching television, seeking any kind of representation. And I also, fun fact, spent one weekend in Richmond with my best friend, and we spent at least a full day watching all of the weakest link on Peacock, and it was the most fun time. Like his husband was like left us alone for a while because he was like, Yeah, I can't keep watching this. I was like, Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03How much is there? So much, so much.
SPEAKER_01It's been on forever. Like, I watched it so far as uh the original series, but yeah, we just kept watching it and finding more to watch.
SPEAKER_04Oh my gosh. I will say that is the second funnest weekend you ever had watching reality TV because there was one day last year whenever we brought home um All You Could Drink mimosas to your home and watched all of Big Brother reindeer games in a day before going to a Broadway.
SPEAKER_01So, yes, if if I visit you or you visit me, even though I live in New York City, we need to spend at least a few hours or a day watching television. Otherwise, you can't hang. Um, and I will say to fast forward to what is this episode about, there was a while where I was like, I don't know if this episode's about anything. And then when I start picking up on messaging about maybe we shouldn't watch so much reality TV, I was like, Yeah because at one point I'm like, um, the whole government shuts down and I just have to sit home and watch TV all the time. Like, I think that sounds great.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say, like, people are uploading episodes of soap operas from 30 years ago, so like we're ready to go. Let us stay home.
SPEAKER_01I was very excited, and again, I'm excited to learn more about Doctor Who. I think I will have some questions, some realizations about things where I'm like, oh, that's what this is.
SPEAKER_04But Jesse, this isn't your first fantasy show you've ever watched. Tell us about some other sci-fi fantasy shows you watch because you do love a franchise.
SPEAKER_01I do, and I will say I already have like my first obvious answers. And then even though, like, you again, I may have known these questions ahead of time, and then the second I read it, I panic. I'm like, oh, what's a sci-fi thing that I like? I'm fully like as we were starting this, Googling it, and like the first thing is like Hail Mary. I'm like, I'm not gonna sit here and be like, yeah, I'm the movie that just came out. That's like that's my favorite.
SPEAKER_04I keep calling it Project Grand Mary, though, for some reason. Don't ask me why.
SPEAKER_01No, I'm gonna do that on accident with somebody. Um, I'm a huge well, I will say my first ever fantasy thing that I actually was I don't read books, but the books that I did read when I was a kid were the Chronicles of Narnia books.
SPEAKER_04So you're excited for Greta Gerwig's, got it.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I you're a Christian. I hope Greta Gerwig makes every character LGBTQ. I don't care if it makes people mad. I think it'll be funny and cool. Um yeah, those books also, which I always helped. If you want to get into them and you don't care about like consistency with like characters you're familiar with being in all the books, have fun. Um, and a lot of other themes I did not appreciate because I was not really raised with Christianity. Um very true. And then I am a huge Game of Thrones nerd. I've read four out of five of the books that are available, and I'm not a good reader, so that says a lot. Um, love the show, love both the spinoffs. I just again, I growing up, I don't think I appreciate it as much because my brain doesn't work that way of thinking of creating all these out-of-the-world scenarios that are things that I can't see or experience, but it's so fun. So, yes. Game of Thrones is probably my biggest like fantasy nerd. Nice.
SPEAKER_04Well, there is a really big fantasy fandom out there that I think you might appreciate because it has everything every soap opera drama, killing, murder, coming back to life. Like, so you should check out the Bible one day.
SPEAKER_02Not I need that much.
SPEAKER_04That return from the dead, they tell it from four different points of view, and they're all different.
SPEAKER_03They're confessionals. The disciples have their confessionals.
SPEAKER_01We'll have to chat next time I go down and start watching the like Bible for children videos. So explain to me in a way that I can understand. And I'd be texting my friends, I'd be like, I'm like, I'm like, Noah was like supposed to be 600 years old.
SPEAKER_04I didn't watch the Veggie Tales, but I feel like that's a good starting point.
SPEAKER_01I'll join you for the Veggie Tales podcast.
SPEAKER_04But y'all, we've already gone off the rails, which is per usual. Jesse, before we really get started, tell everyone where they can find you on social media.
SPEAKER_01I am speak up Jesse across social media. Yeah, I will say very soon my feed is going to be entirely about the reality show, the US Big Brother, because we are counting the days. It is less than a month away. At least as of now, I don't know when this will be posted.
SPEAKER_04Um it's probably airing right now.
SPEAKER_01Ah, I hope I'm having fun. Um to see if something tragic has happened during that week of the show. It's gonna start horrifically. I don't even know exists right now.
SPEAKER_04Hopefully, Angela Murray shows up.
SPEAKER_01I could be sobbing over somebody I've never met who I don't even know exists right now because they are my favorite person getting evicted. Um but yeah, so you can find me chatting about Big Brother there or Chelsea. I hope you're okay. Um doing our podcast. Shh, my stories are on with Chelsea on the page where we talk about uh reality television and soap operas.
SPEAKER_04Let's dive into this episode because it is series one, episode 12, Bad Wolf, written by Russell T. Davies, the showrunner, directed by Joe Aaron. Hopefully that's how you say his name. This originally aired on the 11th of June, 2005. Oh my gosh, that's like two days from when we're recording. Wow. And it features the Ninth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Captain Jack Harkness, and Linda with a Y. And this is set in the game station in the year of 200,010, aka Satellite V. Y'all, I did have a moment of like, how do I say numbers? Dear God. And here's our little wiki synopsis from the TARDIS wiki page. Separated with no TARDIS, the Ninth Doctor, Rose, and Jack have to fight for their lives on board the game station, but a far more dangerous threat is lurking just out of sight. The doctor realizes the entire human race has been blinded to the threat on its doorstep, and Armageddon is fast approaching. Something is waiting in the darkness of space, watching and waiting to reveal itself. So, Jesse, because we are insane and invited you here because there's a little bit of Big Brother in space. Um, tell us your initial impressions of this episode of Doctor Who, your very first episode outside of the watching the blank episode in a writing class in college.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's interesting because like I didn't want to read too much about it. Like I after I was done, I read like the summary listed on it because I wanted I wanted to watch it without having too many clues of what was going on. I didn't want to read any like no spoilers, yeah. Critiques on yeah, I didn't want to read that, and I didn't want to any read any critiques, I wanted to make it my own opinion. So something about the very opening of it, first off, like the previously on section, I was like, God, there's a lot going on in this show. And then when it starts, like in watching it blind, I was like, okay, so this guy is the Doctor Who, blonde woman, and American guy. I know them now to be like, are there names actually Jack and Rose? Or am I making that up?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh. I was like, that's like I don't think I think I might range those names together.
SPEAKER_04No, you're good. I am just now in this moment also realizing Jack and Rose Titanic.
SPEAKER_01I don't think you have Jack and Rose. Like, just I'm like, I'm just giving like any white couple, like white people the Titanic characters' names. That's what I was truly. I was like, I don't think that's their names, but I guess it is.
SPEAKER_04Nope, they're Jack and Rose from the Titanic. That's exactly what it is.
SPEAKER_01I was calling them the blonde girl and the American guy, and then I was like, I need to make sure I look up their names before this is over so I can actually show that I like paid attention and did my job. But yeah, it was very like again. I did, I was like, how episodic is this show? I wasn't sure. I was like, is this gonna be like a reset kind of thing, or is this like going into like a serialized story that's going on with the whole show? Because it very much feels like a contained at the beginning of it. I get the vibe that this must be a contained thing that's gonna be reset. And also I didn't understand if it was like I think I was like, he's like a time traveler, I think. I was like, or is he traveling like other dimensions? Eventually, I was like, I'm pretty sure he's just a time traveler, and this is just that far into the future that it seems like another it's a bit of both.
SPEAKER_04Jesse, I'm gonna blow your mind. So the TARDIS, that little blue box, is his spaceship, and the TARDIS stands for time and relative dimension in space, so he can travel through space and time.
SPEAKER_03That's what we're in right now.
SPEAKER_04Boom.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna blow your mind because I've seen clips where they're in this little I wrote down my notes like a beehive. That's what it looks like to me. I've never been inside of a beehive. But I've seen clips where he's like inside of there doing something. And I've seen clips where people are like going up to that blue foam booth thingy. It wasn't till the American dude walks in. I'm like, wait, this is like a Mary Poppins bag. Like he opens it and it goes and he goes into there. It's like the it's like the house on full house. It's like there's no way that fits in there.
SPEAKER_03You could say it's bigger on the inside.
SPEAKER_01That's why I describe myself.
SPEAKER_03Not that.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, that was one thing I did not understand. I was like, oh, that's inside the phone booth. I never quite understood how that worked. So I learned something big about the show.
SPEAKER_04You well, the doctor can engineer dimensions, so you know it's bigger on the inside. Science.
SPEAKER_01He can engineer dimensions.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's like the Mary Poppins bag. We don't ask questions.
SPEAKER_01Can I ask a question about the franchise? Is there a why? Not like a doctor why, but like, is there a why behind like why he's trying traveling? Or is he just doing it because he can?
SPEAKER_04Um, yes. So originally back in the old series from the 60s, the doctor basically stole the TARDIS and ran away, is on Earth, and like the camouflage thing turned it into one of those police boxes from the 60s where they the police would throw people in there and just lock it and then come get them later to take them to jail, I guess. But then it got stuck on that setting, so it's all just a police box now.
SPEAKER_01It's a police box, yeah.
SPEAKER_04And it looks like a phone booth to us now.
SPEAKER_01Did you guys think I kind of stupid when I said it was a phone booth? Other who No, it looks like a phone booth.
SPEAKER_03No, because we didn't have police boxes in America, so that's understandable. No, the police just killed people, yeah.
SPEAKER_01They don't need a box.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um and he's part of a group of people that were called Time Lords.
SPEAKER_04Yes, and they were all killed in the Time War. So it was the Doctor versus the Daleks, and the Doctor was the only survivor of the Time War.
SPEAKER_01Daleks. The little R2 D2s.
SPEAKER_04Yes. But inside R2 D2 is like this little squid creature thing. Think of the outside as like a shell of armor, and they're inside the little shell of armor robot.
SPEAKER_01Oh, they're not just like robots?
SPEAKER_04No, they're little squid guys. Let me do I have it above. I do have a a Dalek above me. One second.
SPEAKER_03I don't.
SPEAKER_04I will get it.
SPEAKER_03You Jesse, you don't have a Dalek at home? You don't?
SPEAKER_01Apparently, no. I don't know. That's crazy. No, when those guys came out, I was like, in 2005?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It just felt so it felt very 90s practical effects, which I do like.
SPEAKER_04So those little guys are basically your Nazi allegory because they're genetically engineered things to only feel hate. And um, it's crazier. Yeah, they're Nazis. They look this is one of them. Oh no, we're not.
SPEAKER_01Why would they make them look cute?
SPEAKER_03But yeah, they're really cute. That's the thing. Oh, wait, it's the toy, not the ugly.
SPEAKER_01The devil isn't ugly.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I heard somebody say that once. It's like, ooh, whatever. That's so deep.
SPEAKER_04I watched the movie or the TV show Lucifer a little bit. The devil is very hot. Yeah. So it's like this little squid thing inside.
SPEAKER_03Oh. Like a very classic alien.
SPEAKER_04And then the inside is like little armor. That's his little blasty blasty, and he exterminates people.
SPEAKER_03And yeah, he is really cute. I have such a thing for robots, so I'm like, I can't fully hate him. He's a little squid guy. He's a little guy. He's a little evil guy.
SPEAKER_01Just like that was like definitely them showing up at the end. I was like, huh, okay. Again, it was one of the things where I feel like I was like, I feel like if I knew who these people who they were before this, I would be like gagged when they show up.
SPEAKER_03You'd be hooting and hollering. You would.
SPEAKER_04It's like it's like Darth Vader versus Luke Skywalker. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01Yes. So the Daleks are Doctor Who's Dad.
SPEAKER_04Yep. Yeah. You heard it here first. You heard it here first, people. Maury, you are the father. But yeah. So the Doctor basically in the old series ran away with the TARDIS, stole it. And in this new one, he's the last surviving Time Lord. And so whenever they die, they turn into a new body. Whenever the actor left and the show was a hit, they're like, let's just recast. Soap opera rules. That's how he's later Matt Smith.
SPEAKER_01Is he outrunning them or chasing them?
SPEAKER_04Um, originally he was just running away from the Time Lords to really like boil it down. But now, because there was a time war in between where the movie was and where the show starts, the movie from the 90s. So it was all the Daleks versus all the Time Lords. And to fix it all, the doctor genocided both of them. And the doctor is generally a pacifist.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna be real with you. Like a lot of people talked about the show in college, and my impression, my assumption, was that this was like a magic school bus type of gig. Like he's just like, where do you want to go today?
SPEAKER_04It essentially is this, something turned into that.
SPEAKER_01That's what I thought it was. So now I'm like, there's like life and death. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04And there's a lot of death, a lot of people die. A lot of death.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, that's why also the stakes of this episode. Someone died, like someone who seems to be a main character dies. I'm like, Well, like, is she like actually dead? Is it gonna be wrong?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we love Rose Tyler too. Billy Piper, a bad bitch.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I was like, is this gonna be reset at the end of it? I was like, why'd they have me watch this? Like, this is crazy.
SPEAKER_03That would be horrible if she actually died, and we were like, here you go.
SPEAKER_01I thought she did. I think by the time I paused it and was talking to you guys, she was still dead, and Jack had not found the thingy yet.
SPEAKER_03Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01So I was going through all day and be like, wow, I can't believe I just watched the main character. Like, I again I was not Googling it because I don't like it.
SPEAKER_04No, you would have to wait for the next episode for a main character to die, but then he turns into another character. Spoilers.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's I again I love I've only seen clips of the UK Big Brother. Um, and I love the weakest link. So I was already like from the beginning. I know you had said it was like it's like I think I thought you said like it was like a big brother show. I didn't realize he was actually gonna be in the Big Brother house.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, they do like a little bit of each reality show before scurrying off to solve what the adventure is.
SPEAKER_01That was pretty cool.
SPEAKER_04And they do that a lot with the either historical figures or aliens or both.
SPEAKER_01I think I'd want to stay roughly within like maybe the earliest of the 80s and maybe the latest the 2030s. I don't think there's much beyond or before that I would be interested in going to see.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, there's an episode in the 13th Doctor's era where they go back to Rosa Park times and it's um they actually address this, whereas other eras, say the 10th Doctor, they go back all the way to Shakespeare times, and the companion is a black woman at that point, and she's like, um, should I be out here? And the guy's like, Yeah, it's fine. And I'm like, hmm. Crazy. So depending on the show runners, it will be addressed or not addressed.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like when people say they wish they were born. I was born in the wrong era, I should have been born in the 1920s. Okay. Now me? I should not have.
SPEAKER_04Could not have been on this podcast of Kirky More. No. Paige, do you remember the first time you watched this episode, or was it like more random BBC America sci-fi channel reruns?
SPEAKER_03It's very that because as you know, I watched the show totally out of order. And honestly, when I thought about it, BBC America did not show this season very often in their reruns. So I had not seen these episodes like very much at all, maybe once for some of them. This one I sure didn't remember. So this was pretty fresh for me.
SPEAKER_04I'm like trying to remember, but it was like back whenever I was buying the DVD box sets at Entertainmart and being like, let's do this. And I did initially watch more of the 10th Doctor than Circle Back to the Ninth because I just had to wait for the DVD box set to come into the used DVD store and buy it.
SPEAKER_01Buy DVDs at Entertainmart.
SPEAKER_04That was living. I'm still doing that to this day. Same, but now it's half price books for me.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04It's been a time. Don't worry, Jesse. We'll buy you the DVDs next.
SPEAKER_02Oh perfect.
SPEAKER_04But you know what? Let's just jump into the plot because we've already gone so far off the rails. Let's see if we can get back. And so we do open on a recap of the episode The Long Game from a few episodes back where the Doctor and Rose saved this Satellite V space station from evil Simon Pegg and a fascist alien overlord that lived in the ceiling and they were all controlling the media. Basically that. That's essentially what happened in one episode. There are other details going on, including a weird another companion who's not here anymore and got a little butthole in his head. But you know, I'm always gonna comment on that and trust to make Paige laugh. Jesse's face right now is what I'm laughing at.
SPEAKER_01It got a butthole in his head.
SPEAKER_04Paige, should you find that image and send it to Jesse? Yes. Yeah. So that companion is no more. He was kicked off the TARDIS that uh episode for being bad. I'm so sorry. Jesse, I'm so sorry we did this to you. It makes no sense.
SPEAKER_01It almost looks like it should go with that uh trophy they gave Cerie.
SPEAKER_04Oh, the vagina trophy, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Her best actress on a survivor trophy. Yeah. But, anyways, so that's happened. The the doctor and several episodes ago saved this satellite space station from fascists. Or did he? Because then we cut a hundred years later, where a confused doctor is dropped into the space big brother house and is informed by house guest Linda Moss, aka Linda with a Y, that he's been chosen to be a new house guest. And you know what? It's five minutes before a live eviction. He's called to the diary room where a computerized voice tells him they're broadcasting live from channel 44,000. And not to swear, the doctor looks down the camera and replies, you've gotta be kidding. Jesse, is it your dream to fall into the Big Brother house? Maybe not literally.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Duff, not physically. But yeah, specifically if it was a season I was already watching, because then I would go in and have all the things I wanted to say at everybody. Realistically, would I do well with that show? No. But uh, it would be so fun. Just waking up there and be like, All right, I'm here to play.
SPEAKER_03And if you got dropped in right before the live eviction, you'd be like, but I haven't manipulated anyone yet, right?
SPEAKER_01And especially on Like the UK version where they just have to hope that people like them at home. Right. That's not my area.
SPEAKER_04I I do know I would be hated because I would be manipulative, especially after me watching five seasons of damages in a very short amount of time. I'm feeling very Glenn close, Patty Hughes, right now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I would be like that and I'd be crying as if I was about to be killed, even though that doesn't happen in the actual as of right now, 2026.
SPEAKER_04I thought I saw the wine challenge where people were dropping dead after drinking wine.
SPEAKER_01Even that, a challenge where it's like, hey, then you have to fall down. I was like, but I don't want to hurt myself. I'd be like, can I just sit down after I die from the wine?
unknownPerfect.
SPEAKER_04But no, then we smash the credits, and then Rose wakes up on the floor, and much like the doctor, she's super confused on how she got there. Then then this other guy, Roderick, he's another player of the game that they're about to go to. He helps her up and tells her that, yo, girl, it's a transportation mat. Your brain's gonna be a little fuzzy, a little scrambled, a little amnesia. And you know what? Just do what this Android says. Don't provoke it because it's the law. And Rose is really not taking in any of this information, any of the warnings. And she's like, um, I was just traveling with the doctor and let's chit-chat about positions in the studio. Eventually, they're like, no, girl, get to your station. And next thing you know, she's on the weakest link, baby, and it's hosted by Android. And they did get the actual host to voice this Android, but she's a transphobe and should go fuck off. We're gonna say that a lot about the bad people on this show because the next bad person is um horrible. Uh we're gonna refer to Jack just by his character because John Barrowman is a disgusting man. We cut to Jack waking up in a white room where two robot ladies tell him, You're getting a makeover, and let's fix your image. He's very confused, like everybody else. And next thing you know, they use a defabricator to remove his clothes and asks if he's naked in front of millions of viewers. And we get a boner joke about viewing figures going up. And this scene is a little hard to watch for many viewers now because John Barrowman frequently liked to expose himself on set to people for funsies. Just let it hang out.
SPEAKER_01That is wild because the whole time I was like, wow, I guess it doesn't aged well in like 20 years, because it's that like that's literally what the scenario was. So now hearing that, I'm like, oh wow, that makes it even worse.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it does. It's uh pretty much every bad man who was like every bad man on the show was a guest star. And so we cut back to the doctor in the big brother house trying to sonic the doors open. So, Jesse, the sonic screwdriver, think of it like a wand, but it like does sciencey things. And the only thing it can't really undo is like it can't unlock wood or move things like rope or something. For the most part. Sometimes in the upgraded versions, it can, but for the most part, no. It does sciencey stuff.
SPEAKER_01Keep up with those.
SPEAKER_04Because it they kind of just we do. We take notes, but also it's kind of like done. It they don't they don't complicate it that much.
SPEAKER_03We don't ask a lot of questions with those things.
SPEAKER_01We're just like, okay.
SPEAKER_04This is not hard sci-fi.
SPEAKER_01This is like whenever like my friend's sitting on the couch watching All Stars with me for the first time. I'm like, I'm like, so whoever wins this lip sync, they vote and they use this thing. But if they lose and all the votes from the other queens side, who goes home? And then there's a tie, Rue decides. And then I have to unpause it.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. And we've had a lot of root ties this summer. It's been crazy. But as the doctor is trying to sonic the door open and failing, Linda with a Y asks if she's popular outside the show. And the doctor does not actually know. He doesn't watch. And Linda is offended at first, but then eventually he's like, Oh yeah, people think you're sweet, just to get her to like chill out, relax a little bit. Because the docs the doctor does not remember, like, he doesn't understand why she's so freaked out about anything. And then next thing you know, the doctor suddenly remembers they were leaving Raxa Coricophallipatorius, where they dropped off the Margaret Blaine egg and they were escaping Kyoto, Japan, back in history, when a bright light came through the TARDIS and took him away. I just love looking at Jesse's face when I say some of these sentences.
SPEAKER_01I have an embarrassing question. Is his name not Doctor Who?
SPEAKER_04It's the Doctor. The Doctor.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I definitely have been calling him Doctor Who.
SPEAKER_03I thought he makes that joke a lot with people.
SPEAKER_04To be fair, he is credited as Doctor Who in a lot of the like classic series and even in this first time, but not normally.
SPEAKER_01Like, am I gonna get picked on by like Doctor Who fans? I'm like, his name isn't Doctor Who.
SPEAKER_04Here, they pick on us for liking a girl doctor. It's fine, don't worry.
SPEAKER_01Interesting. I was gonna say because I liked seeing again my first time meeting him, his personality come up more in some of the silly stuff with um was it Linda?
SPEAKER_04Linda with a Y, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Linda with a Y. Not Linda with an I.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_01Well happened to her. Um But yeah, I don't know. It was fun. I was like, okay, this is cool. I didn't fully I know he always has a companion, I've heard that. I assumed Rose was the companion. I don't understand what problematic Jack is doing there.
SPEAKER_04Jack joined them a few episodes ago whenever him and Rose accidentally were chasing something through time and ended up in the blitz of World War II and they found Jack there. And they just kept him because yeah, but Jack's from like the 51st century, so they just kind of picked him up. Yeah. He just picked up like people all along the way.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, the doctor sometimes has like companions and then like side companions.
SPEAKER_01I'm not just saying this to pander or because he had like an American accent, but he just felt very out of place. Like all of his scenes, I think I had a harder time paying attention to when it was just him. And like, I don't know. It just felt very like, oh I was like, he just feels like not part of the show.
SPEAKER_04If I told you he got a whole spinoff show that went for like four seasons, would you be shocked?
SPEAKER_01Is that true?
SPEAKER_04That is true, and he uh he was one of the most popular characters when this show's first started.
SPEAKER_01I know I don't watch the show, but I'm like, I've never even heard of him. I was like, is this really a character on the show?
SPEAKER_04Thank you for saying this. I'm deeply enjoying it.
SPEAKER_01I've always known it's like Doctor Who and Companions, and the companion like Doctor Who was usually a he him, and I think the companions were usually she hers. That was my understanding. So I was like, and then there's Jack.
SPEAKER_04There are sometimes some he hems. Sometimes.
SPEAKER_01Sometimes unforge. But yeah, I'm not a fan of this Jack. And apparently, yeah, whatever show he has, I've not heard of it.
SPEAKER_04I will say, Babe from All My Children did was a main cast member on season four of that show. The show is good.
SPEAKER_01Did she move to the UK?
SPEAKER_04I don't know if they filmed it in the UK.
SPEAKER_01Was it like an American show? Is he American? Or is he Canada?
SPEAKER_04Yes, sort of. He's like American and Scottish.
SPEAKER_01Why is he there? Like anytime I watch those shows, I'm always like, it's almost like kind of the charm of it that they don't have Americans.
SPEAKER_04I agree.
SPEAKER_01Sorry.
SPEAKER_04It's like, why is he there?
SPEAKER_03It takes you out of it a bit.
SPEAKER_04Sometimes me and Paige joke that Jack should have been played by like Jonathan Groff, but I'm thinking of who 20 years ago Jonathan Groff would have been, and it's Gavin Creel.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04He would have been great on this show. We would have paid attention.
SPEAKER_03Because John Berriman was also like a Broadway guy and in that kind of scene. So it would have like fit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's just part of the fun of when I would watch some of these shows, which mainly skins was one that I watched when I was a kid, um, which you should not watch as a kid. But I was watching, I remember like when every time they'd make fun of Americans, it felt fun, it was almost like, oh my god, I'm like, I feel like I'm listening to a conversation I shouldn't hear.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, and that was kind of the fun of it. It's like, oh, like this is like what how they like think about us and not having us on TV.
SPEAKER_04I think you turned out great. So every kid should watch skins.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Highly recommend.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, um, back to the episode, the doctor um basically is like going through the timeline of what just happened. So in the previous episode, they took an egg version of a villain who basically gets to start life over and hopefully not be a villain again instead of dying. Dropped her off, they went to Japan. And then next thing you know, the as they were escaping Japan in the TARDIS, a bright light comes through and takes them. And he tells Linda that these aren't trans mats that are like taking them, because she's like, no, everybody's just randomly come in and transported here. And he's like, No, they wouldn't be able to do that with my ship. So something's coming up. Like, there is something afoot. This isn't just a game. And he looks into a camera and tells it that he's going to get out, he's gonna find his friends and find you. And as he's like pointing at the camera, we cut to two programmers watching the game from the control room, and they're confused about how did these three new contestants just show up out of nowhere as if the games are running themselves. So I like that we're establishing that the people in charge have no idea what's happening, which feels very true to life.
SPEAKER_01I also didn't know what was happening.
SPEAKER_04It's okay. It's a mystery. And then we cut back to Rose on the weakest link where they're just counting down, and Rose is like trying to chit-chat the man next to her about what's going on, but the game begins. And Rose is playing to win. She's like, you know what? I'm game. I'm here. We need to do Rose's astrology chart. And guess what? She gets a math question, which is deeply homophobic. We're recording during Pride Month. But guess what? Rose is smart, she's bold and beautiful, she can do math. And then she's asked an alien question later on and laughs at the robot and responds, How am I supposed to know? Which is so real. And then during like the break, another contestant tries to quit the game and runs away, but is disintegrated. And you know what? This is where things kind of go a little crazy because Rose is like, wait, what somebody's voted the weakest link is killed, somebody's disintegrated for trying to run away and escape. I think this game is not for funsies. I don't think people sign up for this.
SPEAKER_03I love her just laughing hysterically, like not knowing what's going on. I was like, she's having a good time.
SPEAKER_01I forget that she didn't know that she like that, like the stakes of it at first, because I was like, why is she laughing? Why is she is she on something? Oh, she has not put it together yet that this is life or death.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah. She's like so flippant because again, she's like, Who's the weakest link? And she's like, I guess her, but then the girl, and she's like, why? And she's like, Well, she got the most questions wrong besides me, and I can't vote for myself. And then when the android disintegrates her, I'm like, Billy Piper is such a great actress because she's like, oh shit. And then when the guy runs away trying to escape the game, he's like, oh shit. That would be me. I would try to run and get like taken out. And then for some reason, they just randomly cut back to Jack. He's in a new outfit and they ask him about a cosmetic surgery, and a Davina droid shows up, voiced by Davina McCall, who makes another appearance down the line on the show as herself. But this little droid, all these little droid things like have a chainsaw there, some giant scissors, like garden shears, and it's like implying that they're gonna cut up Jack's face. I would say his is probably the least interesting. Like I know what not to wear, and like those kind of shows were not for me back in the day, but even as a parody, it doesn't work.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I never watched that show, so I was already less invested.
SPEAKER_04You didn't care about people being dressed in business casual clothing?
SPEAKER_01No. So I was already again, that wasn't added to the this part of the episode I feel like I could do without. If I were to watch it again, I would like to see a version without the jack. What not to wear scenes?
SPEAKER_03I have beef with what not to wear because growing up as a plus size kid, I was already told I had to wear business casual because those were like my only options because you had to shop in like the women's section. It was already terrible, so I didn't like any of it.
SPEAKER_04It's okay, we'll fight them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04We could do it. But let's get back to the best show, Big Brother, which Jesse did get me re-hooked on a few years ago, both you and Paige. We're back in the Big Brother house, and the other contestants are trying to get the doctor to sit on the couch for the eviction, just so they don't get in trouble, because you can tell they're all freaking out. And the doctor, again, much like Rose, super flippant, and he's like, Oh, vote me out. And he's like, they're like, No, you're not eligible for eviction. You just showed up. And they tell them, don't be stupid. And I love when people are telling the smartest person in the room not to be stupid because they have information. Next thing you know, Crosby is evicted from the house, and they have like the most emotional goodbye. And as she walks away into this little hallway, the doctor is making just so many jokes about, oh, she'll make a fortune, she'll do exercise videos, these essentially like social media ads now. And he's making all these jokes about it. And next thing you know, Crosby's disintegrated, and the other people are like, uh, no, you're playing or you die, dude. And that's I love when the doctor's like, oh fuck, here we go again. Trouble follows the doctor, Jesse. That's all I gotta say.
SPEAKER_01Not that I'm trying to find plot holes, because I'm sure you guys know everything that I do not know. But I'm like, for someone who's traveled all over, he feels like he's still learning brand new things about which again, I guess they explained some of it more of like his ramp uh actions having ramifications.
SPEAKER_04He's only 900 years old. A baby traveling all across space and time.
SPEAKER_01I just feel like to a certain point he should stop being surprised about things. He's like, oh yeah, that's right. By the time we get to this point, this is what's going on.
SPEAKER_04That is also true because the whole plot of this is this is supposed to be the fourth great human bountiful empire, but it's not what it's supposed to be. Because that was the plot from the other thing.
SPEAKER_01Like he should spend a week just trying to do a little research on all these things, instead of just hopping around all the time. I recognize that I've only seen one episode and I'm mansplaining how the Doctor Who should be using his TARDIS library, yeah. Yeah, his beehive.
SPEAKER_03He needs to sit down, he needs to read a book.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm like, why don't we instead of like get like why don't we go in here and read some books and make an educated decision on where we should go next.
SPEAKER_04And it's like, maybe is this supposed to be like this, or when you get somewhere, maybe you figure out immediately if it's wrong.
SPEAKER_03He just thrives in chaos. I think he's a fire sign.
SPEAKER_04That is a joke. Somebody makes a joke in the show that the doctor's a Sagittarius because of when the show debuted.
SPEAKER_01I knew it. If this is too long to explain, we can explain it later. But how does one become a companion? Are they like applying to work with him? Does he find them?
SPEAKER_04Um, sometimes literally the doctor will either invite you, accidentally kidnap, offer you like one adventure. I'm trying to think. Like one doctor literally fell through the roof of a train car and trauma bonded with a bunch of other humans because and then boop, we accidentally ended up in space.
SPEAKER_01I feel like I'd be a companion.
SPEAKER_04Just accidentally.
SPEAKER_01I'd be a companion, and then I'd be like, Hey, can you take me back to like two weeks ago? And then like buy a lottery ticket and be like, Well, it was thank you so much. I hope you have a good rest of your travels. Just use them. Like, hit me up for like 20 years if you want to hang out and like do rich people things.
SPEAKER_04Oddly enough, butthole forehead picture we sent you, tried to do something like that, like gain favor. No.
SPEAKER_01Why? He hasn't.
SPEAKER_04You're not supposed to manipulate it for gain, except he does give another companion a lottery ticket later on.
SPEAKER_01What a hate. Oh, so then I have to pretend to be nice to get a lottery ticket from him.
SPEAKER_04Basically, you just have to not be an awful person. I think you'd be fine though. Trust. Like this guy was actively being bad, like having weird surgery to just like steal knowledge of things and make weird bets. He was like Biff from um Back to the Future.
SPEAKER_01I the more I think about the more I realize I'm the villain in these stories. I'm like, how can I use this for my own game?
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna have so much fun editing this. Well, I was gonna give the backstory real quick. Like, for example, the doctor met Rose because Rose was working at a department store, like as a sales girl, and the doctor was just like randomly showed up. I don't remember if he was like following a signal of like in these aliens. And because there were these like mannequins that came to life in her place of work, and so he ran into her because she happened to be in this place where he was, and she just joined him on that adventure for that episode, and she was like, Hey, I kind of like this, this chaos, and he was cute, so yeah, so she just abandons her entire life to hang out with this old guy.
SPEAKER_04She abandoned her boyfriend right there and ran right into that TARDIS.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that might be a solution to something we were talking about before we recorded.
SPEAKER_04You know what?
SPEAKER_01She left her suds in the bucket and the clothes hanging out on the line.
SPEAKER_04This is great. So, yeah, as the doctor's figuring out the whole disintegration thing, we cut back to the two programmers trying to figure out what's wrong with the shows, and they're like trying to access the trans mat logs, which are basically the things that transport people into these games. And I do love that these are also very gossipy programmers who are flirting and they're like, I wonder if there's hidden transmissions in here, like trying to be sexy and be like, hey, we should take a break, but only if you come with me. And I'm like, I love that they have their own gossip side thing going on. And then they're like, oh, the controller is monitoring everything, so maybe it's human error, but then the girl one, the girl can like programmer tells the boy, the controller isn't human, babes. I'm really editorializing this a lot.
SPEAKER_01The controller.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's their official name.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, once the controller came up, that's where I was like, hmm.
SPEAKER_04And we get like flashes to this palish woman, but also cabled up to something. We're not sure. She kind of looks like she's out of a Batman Joel Schumacher edition.
SPEAKER_03She was giving me Tilda Swinton a little bit.
SPEAKER_01I was about to say, I was like, I can't.
SPEAKER_03Tilda Swinton as Mr. Freeze. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01In case anybody was wondering, I definitely Googled a few times, but surely that is her. And it was not her. Because I was like, it's cheap out of her, there's already a Tilda Swinton.
SPEAKER_04Right. And then we cut back to an angry doctor railing against these contestants because he thinks they sign up for these shows like they do in our times. But he quickly learns the shows aren't voluntary and the contestants they don't really have a choice. They're chosen at random. There are 60 different Big Brother simulations running at once, and the winners get to live. That is the prize. He asks how Linda with an I was evicted, and Linda with a Y says, uh, she damaged property. So the doctor's like, cool, and then immediately like points the sonic screwdriver at a camera and breaks it. Jesse, how would you react if there were 60 different versions of Big Brother playing?
SPEAKER_01I was about to say, like, if this was like if they did this episode now, it'd be like, yeah, like yours a different uh RuPaul's drag race. Because they're always one going on. Like every country has their own.
SPEAKER_03Imagine the live feeds. Oh my gosh. You'd have to have like a wall in your house of different TVs. Jesse would. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I would. I yeah. I can't that many Big Brothers going on at once. I feel like somehow the shows would find a way to disappoint me on every single one.
SPEAKER_04That is true. I bet a man would win like four of them in a row and you would like break your TVs.
SPEAKER_01I would be ready to be disintegrated.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. But then we could bet to a naked Jack about to get a new face from these androids, but he pulls a pistol from an intimate place and blasts their heads off and buckle up because there is a long run of just jokes of Jack pulling things out of his butt to either kill people or escape prisons.
SPEAKER_01After watching the episode and now hearing you recap everything, it feels very much like somebody in the rival, like, we need we need some annoying American guy. We need like a someone to do like the like dick jokes.
SPEAKER_04If I told you that the showrunner who wrote this episode is a homosexual man.
SPEAKER_01I know who he is.
SPEAKER_04And this character is queer. Jack is pansexual or omnisexual, as they say in 2005.
SPEAKER_01He g he gives what TV would describe like 2005 TV bisexual, pansexual man, if that makes sense. Yes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01As somebody who identified as pansexual in 2005. I'd be like, yeah, that's my representation, quote unquote.
SPEAKER_04That is your representation, and I am so sorry. But then we cut back to Rose and the contestants, you know, disintegrated one by one. And Roderick, the guy who's been with her the whole time, he's keeping her around because she's stupid and he can easily beat her at questions. And then he mentions the Bad Wolf Corporation runs the game station. And Rose has like a series of flashes to instances of Bad Wolf being mentioned from so many of the previous episodes, from Gwyneth in the Unquiet Dead to Van Staten's helicopter in the Dalek episode, and just to the graffiti on the side of the TARDIS. So she realizes that Bad Wolf has been written across the universe throughout space and time. And if they're in charge, she's not there by mistake. So yeah, Bad Wolf is like a recurring thing that's been seen across the Almost every episode.
SPEAKER_01This was a big like I was like, I feel like this is referencing things that I have not seen yet. So the whole time I was like, Why is it called Bad Wolf? And I kept thinking of things it could be. And then it got to that moment and she's like, Wait, did you say Bad Wolf? And I was like, Here we go. And it's like all these flashbacks of things. I was like, Oh, okay. I was like, This is a bigger. That's when I was like, okay, this is probably not which it's perfect for me because then once it gets to the scene with her, this is where it set from like, oh, okay, like so. This is like a serialized, like this is an ongoing story.
SPEAKER_04Um Yeah, it's like most of the episodes are fairly episodic, slightly serialized, but it's the part one of the finale. I'm so sorry we did this to you.
SPEAKER_01It's okay. This raised the stakes for me where I was like, somebody could die-di. I was like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04And some of the people in those flashbacks did die-die. But then we cut back to the doctor being kicked out of the big brother house, and nothing happens though. And he starts shouting about whoever brought him there. He's in that little room, white room hallway corridor, and he's like, Come and get me. I realize you want me alive. He sonics the door open and he invites Linda to join him, telling her she has a 50-50 chance of death in that house, but if she goes with him, she'll live. Paige, remember that. They exit, and the doctor realizes he's back on Satellite V. She tells him it's not been called that for a hundred years, and he explains last time he was there all what happened, how he took down the fascist Simon Pegg. And she's like, Um, you look good for a hundred years, and he jokes that he moisturizes, which is a joke Jesse doesn't get, but Paige does. He asks where his friends could be, and she starts telling him about all the different games on the game station and how they die from having to diffuse a bomb to be turned into compost. And he explains he's a traveler, and she asks if she can come with him, and the doctor is so charmed by her, and he's like, Yeah, why not? Let's maybe do it. New companion alert, maybe we'll see. And he wants to figure out who's controlling everything, and then next thing you know, Linda turns on the lights to reveal the Bad Wolf Corporation logo, and the doctor's a little shaken. Jesse, there are so many references in here that you do not understand. I bet.
SPEAKER_01I'm being real with you. Uh, for about five seconds, I was like, is she saying that I don't moisturize? Which I don't, but that's a one thing to call Jesse doesn't even know anything about that. That's how my initial is like, okay. Just throwing shake. I feel like we've we've crossed the line from giving each other shit to just being mean.
SPEAKER_04Do you remember on Drag Race when Joella came out as a mattress and me and Paige kept saying, Moisturize me?
SPEAKER_01Um, somewhat.
SPEAKER_03I just sent a picture in the green show.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I do I feel like this picture's gonna like remind me, remind me, but I do uh somewhat remember. Yes, you. This image from Doctor Who.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, it's the sheeta skin lady, and her phrase is moisturize me, moisturize me.
SPEAKER_03She was like the last living human in that time frame.
SPEAKER_04She's had a lot of cosmetic surgeries.
SPEAKER_01This show.
SPEAKER_04She's a trans icon. She is.
SPEAKER_01Well then, happy pride to this diva.
SPEAKER_04She comes back, so if you want to see her again next season. Okay, yeah. So the programmers go to meet with this controller, the pale woman hooked up to the station by like all the cables. We're gonna call her like Tilda Swinton, Mr. Freeze. And he tries to tell her that there are contestants out of the game. And she tells him the games continue and that these other contestants are no one. The woman programmer tries to access Archive 6 for transmat logs, but the controller shouts it's out of bounds. So they're not letting people figure out how the Doctor Rose and Jack got in there. And so we cut back to Jack. He's crafted a gun from the androids and he's escaped and he's trying to find the doctor by scanning for the doctor has two hearts, Jesse. That's how you know he's a time lord. And so the Jack's look Jack's scanning for that. We cut back to Linda explaining what's going on with Earth, and that people are basically like the humans from WALL-E watching TV all day and just eating, which is honestly my dream.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's how it was for my golden years.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. It's exactly what we're gonna do. The doctor learns that his actions a hundred years earlier actually caused all these problems. The economy collapsed on Earth and human development collapsed. So everything just ceased, stopped, and it was pretty easy for somebody to slide on in there and take control of everything. So essentially, all of this is the doctor's fault. He tried to fix something that was bad, but guess what? Something worse came in.
SPEAKER_01What a lesson to learn. Men should not be in charge of anything.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. Jack stumbles upon the doctor and Linda as he's trying to locate Rose. He introduces himself to Linda, and the doctor immediately tells him to stop flirting. The doctor is trying to hack the system and realizes the station is transmitting more than just games. They find Rose, and the doctor realizes Bad Wolf is manipulating him and creating a trap with Rose as the bait. They locate her on floor 407, room six. And then we cut to Rose in her little weakest link. She's in the final round. Her and Roderick are the last players standing. Rose surprises herself and gets a face of bow question correct. Who's a character that appeared earlier in another episode? But there's a tense showdown with both players doing poorly, but and Rose loses by one point just as the doctor is breaking in. She goes to run after him, but then the android disintegrates her, and Jack freaks out on everybody about to shoot up the place. The doctor is just like shaken at her death. And you know what? They're all arrested, they're thrown in a cell. Jack, Linda, the doctor, a guard attempts to interrogate him and they get the mug shots, they confiscate the Sonic screwdriver. And as they're about to be taken away, the doctor tells Jack, let's just do it. And they very easily escape. So I feel like they were trying to get caught at that point.
SPEAKER_03And this uh scene is kind of a big deal because the doctor never uses any sort of weapons, Jesse. He's like very anti-weapons.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the doctor doesn't shoot a gun. There was like a promo where another doctor shoots a gun later, and people flipped out. They were so pissed. Which I get. The doctor's a pacifist. Much like Curi, they use their brains, not their brawn.
SPEAKER_01They came across in the scene when he when he's like, I wasn't gonna shoot anybody, blah, blah, blah. They can't say it's somebody else.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. The next room. It's like the doctor bursting into the control room and just like holding a gun on Tilda Swint and Mr. Freeze. And he starts interrogating the programmers, but also quickly throws this gun at them, being like, whatever, shoot me, blah, blah, blah. And we quickly learn that the controller has been there since she was five and has never really had a life. They transmit information through her and she can't recognize anything. She's never really had her own sense of self. But guess what? A solar flare hits and it blocks transmissions, and the controller starts calling for the doctor. Her masters have controlled her mind her whole life, but she brought him there and hid him within the games so he could find her. So the controller is the one who brought him all in there and basically was like, come find me. She's been genetically altered and is unable to say the name of her who her masters are, but warns that they've been hiding and shaping Earth for centuries and growing stronger in numbers, but they do fear the doctor. And as the flare passes, Jack figures out that the disintegrators are actually just more transmat systems. Nobody actually dies in these games. They're moved across space, which is great. And he uses Linda as an example. And I do love that the doctor has a moment of like, the fuck, you killed Linda. And it's like, no, you didn't actually kill Linda.
SPEAKER_03Here she is. It is kind of crazy of him to use her as an example, though, because what if he wasn't correct? Exactly.
SPEAKER_01That's what I was thinking too. I was like, this is why I just don't like this guy. She consent to that.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. But luckily, the doctor realizes Rose is still alive. And I will say, Paige, re-watching this, were you like thinking the whole time they keep saying the word masters? And I'm like, was this misleading to viewers because Jesse, the other main villain within the show, is called the Master? There's like the Daleks, the Master, the Cyberman.
SPEAKER_03It definitely sounds like it's implying it's the master.
SPEAKER_04It feels like a misdirect.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04In a many ways. But guess what? Rose wakes up on a spaceship and there's like weird noises in the room. And we see the point of view of this creature approaching her. And she definitely recognizes it. She's a little shocked and terrified. And we cut back to the controller, gives the doctor coordinates to wear Rose is before she's transported away. And she's on the same ship as Rose. She gloats that she got one over on the masters. They can kill her now. And they do. They don't waste too much time. But back on the station, they realize these masters are the people who installed the evil fascist alien in Simon Pegg um centuries earlier. And they've been playing the long game, aka the title of the episode a few back, and they've been manipulating mankind. The doctor takes down their shields using science, and a f a fleet of Dalek ships is revealed. They open communications and they uh the Daleks threaten to kill Rose if the Doctor intervenes, but the Doctor taunts them instead and just scares them basically to death. And then we close on them shouting, exterminate. Jesse, this is your first episode of Doctor Who. Do you feel like you need to watch part two to understand what's going on?
SPEAKER_01I would venture to guess that even if I did, I would not know what was going on.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you might have to watch a few more episodes.
SPEAKER_01Something about the ending I found it was giving like villains that you would see in a Power Rangers episode. That's what I think it was making me think. When those little R2 D2s show up, um and they're like, these are the big bad. I'm like, huh.
SPEAKER_04This is like Rita Repulsa. Imagine you thought all of these guys were dead. All of them. You thought you genocided all of them. And then a few episodes ago you realize there was one left, but then he kills himself, and you're like, nope, they're all gone. And then you're like, wait, now there's like a half a million of them. Whoopsie.
SPEAKER_01See, this is where I didn't know if I was doing too much because that there's a moment where I keep wanting to say the doctor who the doctor um is like ran, like he's pissed at them, and he's like, I'm gonna wipe out every Dalek there is, and I'm like, mmm. I was like, I don't know if we need to get rid of a whole species because you're mad at these guys, but I don't understand the mythology of this, so I could be wrong. It could be that they're like not a race of people, they're a team or something. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Would you kill all would you eradicate all the Nazis if you could, if you pressed one button?
SPEAKER_01Mmm, yeah.
SPEAKER_04There you go. That's essentially what the doctor did. It is a button. We see it later.
SPEAKER_01Well, why can't you just push it now?
SPEAKER_04Well, he already did before this.
SPEAKER_01He did not do a good job.
SPEAKER_04Not really, because guess what? Bitch, they all lived. Spoilers. But no. So yes, the doctor's Arch nemesis, the Rita Repulsa, R2D2 Daleks, they're all back. And I think this is very fun for me and Paige going through it. It's like, oh yeah, the big bads are back.
SPEAKER_01Those little vacuum cleaners.
SPEAKER_04That's true. Those little vacuum cleaners can fly too. Look out.
SPEAKER_01Like, ooh, you're in for it now. I would love to see what the special effects look like when those things are flying. Uh I would be very intrigued to see how that comes across.
SPEAKER_03Which again, I very 2005.
SPEAKER_01I think that's interesting. And I will say I like because this actor who's playing Doctor Who, he's the I'm not doing it on purpose.
SPEAKER_04No, it's okay, don't worry.
SPEAKER_01I do it, it's not until after I say it. He's the one that like started the new franchise or the new whatever, right?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, the reboot. He was the first one, the reboot essentially.
SPEAKER_01See, it's like when they changed language and it's like series of seasons, that's where I get I'm like, well, then what's the whole thing called the series? Like I remember when Skins Series 5 was coming out, like Skins, a brand new series, and I was like, This is like this is the fifth season of a show that was like, Why are they saying that?
SPEAKER_04It is confusing, and so this is where our dumb American pops out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, this is probably the most annoying thing to any of the UK people listening. Being like, Why do A, why do they even care?
SPEAKER_03In the Doctor Who uh Discord we're in. I try to be like, Oh, series. I loved this series.
SPEAKER_01Do you ever get confused when somebody's like writing a date and you're like, what month is 23? Yes. Something like that.
SPEAKER_04I always think I understand the logic, but because we have been taught this way, it's like, hmm, let me think. I would be the person that if somebody put like 5, 7, 20, 26, I would I would mess up that date. I'm like, send me the Google Calendar invite.
SPEAKER_01But are we hanging out in May? Are we hanging out in July? It's like, yes, I'm holding a giant, like, soft drink cup while I ask you this question. I'm an American. Just let me know. We're gonna get there.
SPEAKER_04We're having so much fun.
SPEAKER_01I feel like I might be the problem with us getting off topic. I don't know if this episode has proven it, but you know what?
SPEAKER_04I'm just gonna have fun editing this episode because it's deeply chaotic, and that is our brand. And you know what else is okay? These listener questions we have, because we have some really good ones.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm. We have wonderful listener questions.
SPEAKER_01Let's see if I can help answer any of them.
SPEAKER_04I think you should. I'm very excited. Thank you everyone for submitting them. This first one is a voice note from Hamish, one of friend of the show, possibly future companion, everyone, for series two.
SPEAKER_00Hello, this is Hamish. Love the show. Um, this is my first question. This episode parodies a bunch of reality television from the mid-2000s. If this episode was made today, which deadly reality shows do you think it would feature?
SPEAKER_01I already answered this question.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but luckily our friend Novel also said, What shows would you want the Doctor and Companion in if they filmed it today? So this is very fun. So we get to just start talking about reality shows. I have a great answer, but I think y'all should say first.
SPEAKER_01I want to see the Doctor Who lip sync for their life.
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_04We all know Shudie Gotway's Doctor would win that.
SPEAKER_01Imagine. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Although I feel like Jody would do pretty well. She is very musically um passionate.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I will say it depends on who's the doctor at the time.
SPEAKER_04Also, Peter Capaldi is literally a rock star right now. So, what shows would you want them in, especially deadly shows?
SPEAKER_01Deadly.
SPEAKER_03See, I didn't think of the deadly angle quite as much.
SPEAKER_04That is okay because I so the two people asked us this question. Novel sent it in a while ago, and Hamish sent this in recently. I made this answer way before anything.
SPEAKER_01What's the hallway that Jennifer Hudson showed Oh, the spirit tunnel?
SPEAKER_04Is that what it's called?
SPEAKER_01Doctor Who has to get through the spirit tunnel.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_03Incredible. So mine are not necessarily deadly, although they could turn them deadly because as we established, um, danger follows the doctor doctor. But my first one was Great British Bake Off.
SPEAKER_04Which we've already had one doctor on the show.
SPEAKER_03Yes, would love to see them on there. Some companions. Chaotic, it would be. Would love to see them on, since I'm watching it right now, Love Island, because they just get to romance everyone, and that's very up their alley. Both the doctor and Rose.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um, they just get to make out with everybody. That's basically it. Perfect. And then my other one was Taskmaster to get into the British side of things. Because I would love to see that chaotic duo try to solve little puzzles and silly things like that.
SPEAKER_01Does the doctor who make out with people?
SPEAKER_04Sometimes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I assumed they were asexual.
SPEAKER_04The eighth doc. So we're on the ninth doctor. The eighth doctor is the first one to have an on-screen kiss. The tenth doctor kisses everyone. Everybody. The 11th doctor kisses almost everyone.
SPEAKER_01Interesting.
SPEAKER_04So, Paige, I have a response and I have a specific companion in mind that is not Rose. Okay. We have to jump ahead to the future where one of our companions did end up becoming a model. So I would like to see Amy Pond in a futuristic America's next top model where she takes down the evil host and judges. Yes.
SPEAKER_03That'd be beautiful.
SPEAKER_04And honestly, it could just be set right now. Yeah. Amy Pond could do it. I believe in you. She could destroy Tyra Banks. Jesse, do you know who Karen Gillen, the actress, is?
SPEAKER_01I can't picture the face.
SPEAKER_03Have you seen Guardians of the Galaxy?
SPEAKER_01Um, yes, but not paying close attention.
SPEAKER_03She was Nebula, the blue girl. Oh not the green one.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04Here we go. How's this? Karen Gillen. She's in the Jumanjis. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04She's like so tall and beautiful and perfect, and I love the pawns. She's in Matt Smith's first season, first two and a half seasons, right? See, I did Matt.
SPEAKER_01She's gorgeous. I still won't watch those Jumanji movies, but no, no, no.
SPEAKER_04We just like that she gets a paycheck. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's good for her. I like when hot people are also cool.
SPEAKER_04Exactly. And so here's a question from me. I thought of this. So, y'all, we are in this version of Big Brother where people get killed essentially. How do you think Taylor Hale, Angela Murray, Sari Fields, Brittany Haynes, and Rachel Riley would each fare on Space Big Brother? Taylor Hale, how would she do? Does she win or is she disintegrated?
SPEAKER_01I mean, is it the UK one where we're all just voting for who we like? Because that's it, Taylor Hale clears.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So she wins.
SPEAKER_01Taylor and Brittany would do the best in that one, given they're both America's favorite winners.
SPEAKER_04I think Suri would do very well.
SPEAKER_01Suri, too. Suri's an America's favorite honore.
SPEAKER_04Angela Murray, I feel like should have been America's favorite, but was robbed by a white man. She would probably she might get disintegrated.
SPEAKER_01The fact that she was so uh polarizing and still made it into there as like the top three is says a lot about the people that were behind her. Angela probably would not win, but she would make it further than she should and take people down on her way there. Like just like we saw.
SPEAKER_02So basically what she saw.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. When she's fully sitting there, ready to go, and then someone else goes and she just starts crying and overshadowing their exit.
SPEAKER_04Um Rachel Riley would be disintegrated because people hate a strong bad bitch.
SPEAKER_01Rachel Riley would get dragged out in a twist, no matter how well she did.
SPEAKER_04They fear her. These are all queens. We support them. They are winners of Big Brother in our hearts and minds and drag delusions.
SPEAKER_01I would never wish Cerie to have to go back to my house ever again.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely not. She's been on that island like five times at least. Goodness no. Six times? I don't do math.
SPEAKER_01She uh let her stay home. Bless her.
SPEAKER_04And so, one of my fun little notes I have here is the question was in literature, the author of Lucky was Jackie Who. I would have gotten this. Jackie Collins, my girl, wrote the Lucky Santangelo books. Her sister is fellow legend Joan Collins. Both of them are like soap opera icons, divas, legends. I love those girlies. So iconic.
SPEAKER_03So iconic. I'm surprised Rose didn't get that.
SPEAKER_04I think it was the other guy's question, not Rose's. That was my bad.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's right. Okay. I was gonna say Rose would know.
SPEAKER_04Rose would know. She's got Jackie has those books on her nightstand. You just know it. Jackie Tyler. Jesse, you would love Jackie Tyler. Maybe I should have you on that episode, Christmas Invasion. She is literally mother. She was attacked by a Christmas tree.
SPEAKER_01I was too. I had a Christmas tree follow me when I was a kid.
SPEAKER_04Oh my gosh! Andrew Spirits! You might be on the Christmas Invasion episode next season. It's a premiere, like a Christmas episode season premiere with the new Doctor. Don't worry. Oh does anyone kiss on that one? I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01Why is it such a big kissing show?
SPEAKER_04It wasn't. People got mad at when the kissing started, and I'm like, you know what? More kissing.
SPEAKER_03I'm not mad at the kissing.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Paige and Jesse have their dolls ready kissing. I do. Jesse, if I get you Doctor Who Barbies, will you make Doctor Who soap opera?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they're both girls.
SPEAKER_04Obviously, that happens. But yes, this episode, oh, what a time. There was a lot of little cameos from the act from the hosts of the actual reality shows like Divina, the evil transphobe, and the what not to wear peoples. But y'all, I had a lot of fun. This is easily our most chaotic episode we've done. Naturally. Any final thoughts before we skid?
SPEAKER_01I'm so excited I got to share this moment of me. I really value my own reactions to things. So I'm really happy I got to share this with you of me experiencing Doctor Who for the first time. And now having a little street cred when I talk to what do you guys call Doctor Who fans?
SPEAKER_02Who fans?
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna say that.
SPEAKER_02We are Annie and Hallie right now.
SPEAKER_01That was cute. Um yeah. Will I watch more? If I'll watch specific ones I get invited to. Um podcast about yeah. I'm so excited. You guys have done such a good job with this pod. I'm so excited I got to be part of it.
SPEAKER_04Thank you. You will be back. We will keep educating you with the most random episodes.
SPEAKER_03What if we invite Jesse to do every single Matt Smith episode? Because you said you'll only watch if you're invited. Maybe.
SPEAKER_04Are you ready for like maybe the longest running consecutive single doctor? I have to say that so specifically, Paige, and you know why.
SPEAKER_01Did we like the doctor before him? He was cute too.
SPEAKER_04David Dennett.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I knew I knew his name.
SPEAKER_04He is cute. He's a lot of people's favorite doctor, but then he also those fans are they can be tricky online. That's why we're not on Twitter.
SPEAKER_03But if you ignore the fandom, he's wonderful.
SPEAKER_04Oh, he's wonderful. What a man. I we love all the performers, y'all.
SPEAKER_01He's the first face that I remember of being like, oh, that's the Doctor Who.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah. Yes. This doctor did one season because it was a shit show behind the scenes, like just a disaster, and he was like not coming back. David Tennett did like three seasons, came back for the 50th anniversary, was the star of all the 60th anniversary episodes controversially.
SPEAKER_01Wait, can I ask a question? And I'm not doing a bit. I fear that your fans are gonna think that I'm like just human.
SPEAKER_04Oh, I might cut out anything that might get you killed.
SPEAKER_01Don't worry. Cool. Is he an actual doctor? Or is he just like, is this like like silky doctor reverence, silky nutmegash?
SPEAKER_03It's very that. It's very that.
SPEAKER_04It's like yes and yes.
SPEAKER_01Like so it's like stolen valor?
SPEAKER_03An abstract idea of doctor, not a literal like but also could do medical stuff in a pinch, I feel like.
SPEAKER_04Could do some basics.
SPEAKER_01When a man says he can land a plane. Yeah. And again, maybe this is because in the fictional scenario, he wouldn't let me get a lottery ticket. I like the second thing that gives me stuff about that, I'd be like, okay, I'm like, so you you just call yourself a doctor and you don't think that's weird.
SPEAKER_03Not qualified.
SPEAKER_01Even like when people get like I don't know if he had like an honorary degree somewhere or something.
SPEAKER_04Um probably if we're being real.
SPEAKER_01I'm intrigued to find I I won I've been wanting to Google that question, but I was like, I'll wait and ask Chelsea Page.
SPEAKER_03And we did not help at all. No. So much of the show is truly just like watching things happen and being like, Yeah, sure. It's one of those don't question the science too much, y'all.
SPEAKER_01I think this is why church didn't work out for me. I think I asked too many.
SPEAKER_04That fantasy didn't work for you?
SPEAKER_01Apparently not. I'm not good at going with the flow.
SPEAKER_04It isn't. But not logic. You do want logic, but I will say, Paige, just for us two, our purposes of the show, how do you feel about this as like part one of the finale?
SPEAKER_03I think it's a fun part one. I mean, it's like very random that they did the whole reality TV thing, but obviously it's made for us. So I love it.
SPEAKER_04Made for us.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I love that how they introduced the characters coming back, like the Daleks. I think that was a really fun way to do it instead of just like um introducing them first thing.
SPEAKER_04I agree because also one thing I noticed on this watch is the way um Tilda Swint and Mr. Freeze, the way if you look at the cables coming from her and how she is, she kind of looks like at the inside of a Dalek, you know?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That was probably on purpose.
SPEAKER_04Probably on purpose. Somebody had to plan that out. But yes, I do think this is a fun way to set up the finale, and I'm really excited. I'm so sad. One more episode of Christopher Eccleston. I know.
SPEAKER_03He does come back later, Jesse, and do audio dramas. He only did one season.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we'll tell you if you listen to the pod, you'll get the dirt. But also, we could tell you off-show.
SPEAKER_01I guess I'll start supporting you guys now. Subscribe!
SPEAKER_04Rate review, subscribe, five stars only.
SPEAKER_01But no, we're only accepting five stars.
SPEAKER_04Uh, listeners, thank you so much for this. Um, companions, thank you for wandering into the TARDIS today. Jesse, I'm so glad we kidnapped you on this adventure. Can you remind the listeners where they can find you and any of the work you do or the social medias?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I am they can find me unless they're coming to bully me for not knowing enough about Doctor Who. Um, speak up, Jesse, across social media. Very soon, I'll mostly just be talking about actual US Big Brother because that is going to be my hyperfixation for the summer, like it is every summer. Um, and yeah, we do the shh, I'm watching my stories, our podcast that I love so much, talking about reality TV and so on this. And otherwise, I just do whatever podcast I'm invited to do, whether I've watched it or not, I'll watch it by the time we record.
SPEAKER_04Ah, and we love you for it. We will bring you back. It'll get easier, don't worry. Maybe we won't throw part one of a finale at you, but maybe we will.
SPEAKER_01I'm down for what else.
SPEAKER_04Awesome. And thank you for listening to Across the Universe. We can be found wherever you listen to podcasts. Please make sure to rate and review our show. Give us five stars. If you leave a review and it is five stars, we will read it on here. Like Paige has taught me how to read. She's doing such a good job. Literacy is so important. So please do that. And then you can find us on Instagram, Blue Sky, Tumblr. Links are in the show notes. It's basically Across the Huniverse Pod all platforms. Or you can email us and we'll answer your questions on episodes. We'll read your comments, and it's across the HuniversePod at gmail.com. Paige, remind the Time Lords where else they can find you.
SPEAKER_03Thank you to everyone for listening to our chaos because we're more chaotic than usual. Um, I am Thoughts by Page on Blue Sky. I am Hay Smithers on Tumblr and PaigeNoel Kaiser on Instagram. Um, I'm also on shh, my stories are on with Chelsea and Jesse as we established, talking about reality TV and soaps and whatnot. I also have a substack that's called Girlhood and Low Resolution, where I talk about growing up as a girl on the internet in the 2000s.
SPEAKER_04And I hopefully you do a post about uh Zoo Disney soon. I might have to because it's on the brain. I'm Chelsea 725 on the blue sky, serialized in the letterbox, and Chelsea's on Instagram. And if you can find my Tumblr, you're stronger than a Domalek. And you can listen to me and my fellow agent slash our companion Gavin on the Q Division of James Bond Movie Marathon Podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts. Jesse has been a guest. Paige is going to be a guest on a fake bond. Jesse, I'll get you on for a fake bond. I've got one lined up for you. Don't worry. I can be heard on Anna Rewatch. We're talking selfie, the tragically canceled Karen Gillen show. Everyone, go check it out. And then, of course, shh, my stories are on, where we talk about all these shows. And Jesse has watched them and is the historian, knows more than all of us. We don't know any, not nearly as much as Jesse. And that's all three of us and Owen. So everyone, go check it out. Be sure to join us for our next adventure across space and time for the finale, the parting of the ways. Until then, we'll see you in the time vortex. Bye.
SPEAKER_01What I was gonna say before when I was trying to think of a sci-fi example of like things that I liked. Do you remember when Disney had like the Zook Disney sexual? Oh my gosh, yes. I wanted to be like the little TV bumpers of Zook Disney characters between episodes of shows was my favorite sci-fi.
SPEAKER_04Oh my gosh. That's a deep cut. We are keeping this on the episode because the moment you said that, the theme song started playing in my head. It does randomly every few months play in my head.
SPEAKER_01You're welcome.
SPEAKER_03I was just talking about Zoog Disney the other night. I'm not kidding. Because my friend's husband. There was like a do you remember the character that was like now? I can't think of what he was.
SPEAKER_04If he was like a little tiger guy, Zoog there was an animated character characters.
SPEAKER_01There's a whole song where they go through and introduce each of them.
SPEAKER_04Yep. I can hear Zoogina.
SPEAKER_03Cause he, my friend's husband, had a little plush of this little creature guy.
SPEAKER_04Wait, there's.com, Zugina, browser, gather, MZ, Twitch, airline, Joe Zoog.
SPEAKER_03I think it was like someone who had his own show.
SPEAKER_04I mean, there was the website called the Zether, which I thought was hilarious.
SPEAKER_03I have to dig deeper here.
SPEAKER_01I am definitely. something so much different than what it actually is.
SPEAKER_04I'm just gonna share my screen.
SPEAKER_03Why can't I find a list of Zoog Disney shows? Because they don't want you to see it. They don't want me to.