Feeling Stuck in Life How to Get Unstuck | Overcome Burnout, Fear and Self Sabotage - EP 29

Feeling stuck in life can feel like you’re not moving, but sometimes it’s a sign you need to reset, refocus, and realign. 

Episode 29 of The Designers of Change Podcast explores how to become unstuck and move forward with clarity and purpose. 

We talk about burnout, fear, self-sabotage, mindset, and the discipline it takes to move ahead, even when it’s hard. 

Because being stuck is not permanent, it’s a signal that something needs to change. 

#DesignersOfChange #FeelingStuck #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #OvercomingFear #Resilience #PurposeDriven 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Coming up on this episode of the Designers of Change podcast.

SPEAKER_05 0:04

Sometimes we are stuck because we are not willing to do the work that it needs to get us to the next.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 0:11

And another part of that, many times we want to go to the next level, but the next level is not defined. So we want, you know, like when we are in church service, we are going to the next level and say, what does the next level look like? We don't know. But look, but coming back to your point about being disciplined, a lot of times we are not being disciplined for us to take us to the next level. We can be talented.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

Right, right.

SPEAKER_05 0:32

But talent alone is never enough for you to be successful. And so you're going to have to pay your price.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

One of the most frustrating things in life is to actually feel as though you are stuck. You're stuck in that job, you're stuck at that school, you're stuck in that relationship, and you just don't know how to get out, how to progress. Well, here on Designers of Change episode 29, we are going to help you on stuck. And I know Mr. Wright is going to have fun with this topic. But we want to say a huge thank you to our amazing, amazing sponsors to Jace Magrie Media Mind Food International, Super Letive Auto. Grace creates Amanda's Kitchen Mag 24-7 Wrecking Services, Regional Consulting Services, the Self-Care Bar. So many. We just got Proactive Lifestyle Limited on board with us. We are super excited. Also to Jesse's home decor, and so much more is happening for the designers of change, and we are absolutely grateful. Mr. Rice, how do we unstuck?

SPEAKER_05 1:50

Oh, that's that's that's a great question. But guess what? When when you know you know, have you ever break down while you are driving your breakdown on the highway?

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Like the car breaks down.

SPEAKER_05 2:02

Yeah, your car breaks down on the highway. And immediately when your car breaks down and you get out of your car, the first thing is that you see a lot of car passing your bike. Yes. You see everybody zoops, zoops, zoops, zoops. And the more you stand right beside a car trying to figure out what to do, try to get a mechanic or what it is that your car is experiencing. One of the things that gets into your mind is this I should have been further.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 2:32

I should have been further. And there are so many people right now who are watching this. You are saying to yourself, I should have been further in life. And that's a very dangerous feeling, babes.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_05 2:44

To be stuck, to be sitting on the sidewalk, the side, the sidewalk of life, or the eyeway of life, can't move, and you are saying to yourself, I should have been further in life. And all of us have been there. Probably you're working a job, and you have so many potential, and you are saying, I should have been further. Because you see, all of your peers, by now, your peers probably have PhD, they have bought home, they have kids. And we are living in a social media um era now where it's very easy to look at your you know your doctored friends' life. And and it's easy to get fall into a comparison trap. But we are talking about the inner feeling that someone has that great potential and they know they should have been further. Wherever you are right now. And it and it can be an aspect of your life because one part of your life maybe flourishes. Yes, looks progressive, looks progressive in your marriage.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Another area, you're saying to yourself, Boy, God help me here.

SPEAKER_05 3:44

Yeah, because your business can hit a plateau. Your marriage is doing well, but you you have started this business for 10 years and you are you're stuck right here, and nothing worse than when you see some money, probably they start two years than you, and they are two years, like two years less later. Yeah, yeah. Like they started after you, and they are much, much further, and so feeling stuck in life is not a few.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

You know, as as you were there talking, like even I myself, I can I can sympathize so much because I know I go through it as well, and you know, it there is a pain that you feel when you feel as though you are just not making any progress. And sometimes if if you weren't making any effort, if you weren't making the sacrifices, you wouldn't feel so bad, but because you know that you actually are, yes, and nothing is happening that eats at you ever so often, and so it's something that you know people struggle with.

SPEAKER_05 4:55

Yeah, all of us struggle, and there's there's not a single human being on this planet who is progressive, who doesn't feel stuck in life at one point or another, and especially when you become aware of who you are, powerful feelings.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

It's the awareness is the awareness that has more if you didn't care, if you didn't care, if it didn't matter to you, if you didn't know, you were just going about your life doing the same old mundane things, it would have been fine, you would feel fine, but once you become aware that this something is just not right, I should have been further, it's so painful. I wanna make a really quick example. So we started the Designers of Change podcast YouTube channel after our daughter, yeah, and would you believe our 11-year-old daughter watches our page constantly and she's like, Man, you guys just started this channel and you have more subscribers than I do. And I understand her pain because she works at her channel, and I have to take that time out to say to her, Okay, love, remember that your channel caters to this audience while ours cater to ex-audience. And I have to remind her, I said, baby, remember, we've been doing this thing for a long time. So people know us, so you can't compare the two because it's incomparable, yes, yes, and because we are in that um era where it's very easy to compare.

SPEAKER_05 6:31

But but there are several things that, and we and we're going to talk about it, there are several things that cause us to feel stuck. One of them is being overwhelmed and burnt out. When you are burnt out, because sometimes we as a human being, we try to do everything, yeah, which is not good for us.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:53

And so it's like you have a hundred seeds, but you have one bucket of water, and you try to use that bucket of water to water the 100 seeds. So after you use all of that one bucket of water to water 100 seed and you're not seeing any progress because your your your focus is scattered on so many things, you feel a sense of burnt out. Oh, of course. You feel a sense of burnt out, and then in that sense, you become overwhelm with life.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

But you know, it it's twofold because you have a hundred seeds, one bucket of water. You can only water the 100 seeds for a few days or a day or two, versus if you had probably two or five seeds that you're watering consistently, you'd have many more days to water that seed. So the resources can go a long way when you focus. And I find that a lot of entrepreneurs, oh my gosh, that's something that I constantly speak about. Yes, you want your business to grow, yes, you want to do different things, and you need progress and you need your social media to gain followers, but you cannot be doing everything.

SPEAKER_05 8:10

Yeah, yes, you can't be doing everything.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

You cannot be a jack of all trades because you are going to be, it's only you and probably one other person working, everybody's going to be tired. Yes, and then you want to quit.

SPEAKER_05 8:22

Yes, and so that feeling of being burnt out, majority of the time, comes from doing too many things, too many things, and trying to be progressive in too many things, right? Which in life really need uh a really sense of focus because whatever you're going to do in life, for it to progress, it really needs time, effort. Absolutely, yeah, because you need time on your side. If you're going to if you're going to plant a seed today, a mango seed today, you're not going to see any result tomorrow. Tomorrow. And so that mango seed needs constant water, nourishment for it to even to sprout, for it to become a treat. And so, what we have, we are trying to plant a hundred mango seeds, right? And we are doing we are doing too, we are doing too many things, and so what our life becomes diluted, and from that we become overwhelmed. And when we become overwhelming and burnout, we we get a feeling of being stuck in life, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:22

And you know, you know, burnout, it can apply to every area of life because um if it is that you are not balancing, you're definitely going to feel it, and you're not going to be effective. And so, you know, I know that burnout is one thing, but what about self-limiting beliefs and sabotaging your own success? Don't you think that's a way that people find themselves stuck to?

SPEAKER_05 9:47

Yes. Majority of the time, a lot of the time, we become stuck in life because our own limitation that we have set ourselves and our mindset. And here's the thing we have seen it. A lot of people they don't read, they don't listen to podcasts, they don't have mentorship. And so when those shackles on your mind are there, you can't grow. Because here's the thing: you can't grow. Because here's the thing, your your feet will never take you where your mind has never been. Absolutely. And because you are limited in your thinking, you're going to self-sabotage. Recently we asked that we were driving and I asked you a question. I said, Are we limited by our belief system or by our resource? And a lot of times that we think that we are limited by our resource, which is some case it is not the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

It's not, it's not, it's not false. But you are more limited by your negative uh belief system, or your limited or negative belief system, that will hold you back more. Because if you actually are a positive person, you are aware, you can get help.

SPEAKER_05 10:58

Yes, you can get help. You can get help. And so if you break the shackles of your mind, you can escape the gravitational pull of yourself. Limitation. For example, they say when a rocket is leaving Earth, 90% of the rocket fuel is used to escape Earth's gravitational pull and the drag, the air pressure drag. Now, when when the gra when when when the rocket leaves Earth's atmosphere or the gravitational pull, guess how many fuel it it uses after that? None. And so that rocket can orbit Earth for years without using no other fuel because it has break the gravitational pull and it's simply using the momentum to to orbit Earth. Now, when you break free from those limited beliefs, you are you are you are you are what what do we want to say? You are unstuck in your own life.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Right. You're unstoppable. Yeah, you're unstuckable. So you're you're moving because that's the whole point of being stuck. There's no momentum, there's no movement.

SPEAKER_05 12:04

Yeah, there's no movement, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

So you need movement to take place, right? And here's another thing too, and it's something that I I reflect on a lot. What are some of the things? Like I'll ask myself, what are some of the things that you believe that is holding you back? And you have to be honest with yourself. Yes, right? Um, I know at one point I thought maybe, well, maybe because of my the how I look, there's some rooms I wouldn't be invited to. And then as soon as I did away with that, I debunked that, we started getting invitations to some rooms where nobody in the room looks like us. And so this is a serious topic, and um, it's something that you have to start to do some introspection first before you can get to the unstucking part. But you know, when we come back, I know we're gonna be talking about how we can get that movement to happen, right? Um, but I want us to take a break right here. When we come back, we're gonna be talking about how do you unstuck your life. And that's the part that you wanna make sure you stick and stay for. We'll be right back. When you're going through that plateau phase when you feel as though stagnation is taking place. But we want to say a huge thank you to our amazing sponsors. We just partnered with Proactive Lifestyle Limited. We're super excited to be working with them. But we're so grateful that we already have an amazing team here. Jace Myra Media is in the building, as always. Mind Food International for all your human resource services, training, consultancy, or maybe you need some recruitment support. We are here to support your needs. Of course, we want to say a huge thank you to Amanda's Kitchen, Grace Creates Superletive Auto, MAGS247 Wrecking Services, the self-care bar, regional consulting services, all the way from K-Man, Jesse's Home Decor, SKRI, and I wonder if we're forgetting anybody else. Yes, you, because you should be sponsoring us as well. Come on board, guys. This is an amazing mission that we're on, and we need as much support as we possibly can get. So, Mr. Wright, how do we get our stuck vehicle emotion?

SPEAKER_05 15:02

So, before we get that, because we're talking about what keeps people stuck, apart from our self-limited belief, sabotaging our own self, another thing that gets us stuck in the route of life is a lack of vision and purpose that we have for our life. True. Because vision is a mental picture of taking humanity forward. That means if you don't have a vision for your life, you don't have a vision for your family, you don't have a vision for your church, you don't have a vision for your business, right? Whatever it is that you are leading, if you don't have a vision for that thing, you are going to it's not gonna move, you're not going to be full. And if you don't have a sense of purpose in life, because purpose is what gives us the awareness that we are full of potential, that we have something on earth to do. And so if you don't have vision and a sense of purpose, then you are going to feel overwhelmed, you're going to feel stuck and feel hopeless, yes, you're going to feel because where purpose is known, it gives birth to hopelessness. And so if you are hopeless today and you don't you don't have a feeling of purpose, you don't have a sense of a vision, then you are going to feel as if you are stuck in life. Yes, and so you want to get out of that. Now, how do we get unstuck or life? The first one is that you need a vision. No, you need a vision for your life, you need a personal vision for your life of taking humanity forward.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

I wanna I wanna just make that very, very simple and practical for you. Where are you going? Yes, what is your contribution to humanity? Yes, right?

SPEAKER_05 16:42

And and that's very important. Where are you going? Now, if you know where you're going and you are still stuck in life, you still feel as if you are stuck. Then you need a mentor. Yes, mentorship is very, very important. So important. If you're driving your car and your car gets stuck in the mud and you can't get your car out of the mud by itself, majority of the time, a lot of time, what do they call? They call a wrecker or something to help to pull the car to unstuck it out. Right. To pull it out. And so sometimes, yes, sometimes mentorship gives us that that the support that we need.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

To pull us out.

SPEAKER_05 17:18

Pull us out. Because a lot of time you are doing the right thing, but you're just too deep down in something. You want sometimes a mentor can open that door for you, sometimes a mentor can give you the right perspective. Because sometimes you might be growing. Yes. But your butt you're like a seed, you are growing beneath first, and so there's nothing sprouting up, but you are doing the right thing. And sometimes you need a mentor to say, hey, Nas, you are doing the right thing. Continue going and to hold your hand to pull you out. And so if you feel a bit stuck today, you are going to need a mentor, mentor to powerful to get you on stuck there.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Powerful, powerful, powerful. Now, we also know that you know feeling stuck can be a result of failure or something that has happened that has disrupted your entire thought process, and you know, sometimes we go through a process of grieving what we thought our life would be. Yes. Now, another way to unstuck yourself is to actually learn from those setbacks and those mishaps instead of sitting every day and wallowing in self-pity, take accountability. How can you actually learn from this mistake instead of sitting here crying over the spilt milk?

SPEAKER_05 18:39

Yes. And and you put it right, a lot of time we have grieved the death of a life that we should have had, yeah. Have had. Probably someone who has gone to an engineering school, they're probably wearing university to become an engineer. That person dropped out of dropped out of school for whatever reason it might have been. And they are they are living in a constant grief. They should have been an engineer. Right. Should have been further. Because that is the very thing that we think about when our car is stuck on a on a road. When our car breaks down on a road, we should have been further. But here's the thing as I put it, you need to learn from a mistake. Yes. What caused me to be here? And if you're going to always constantly looking back, you're you're in the in the back of your life, the back end of your life, digging up the past, then you're not going to move forward. What you need to do is bury the corpse of your past.

SPEAKER_03 19:44

I love that.

SPEAKER_05 19:46

You want to learn the you want to learn from your past. You want to learn from your past so that whatever you learn, you can use it to extract to make you propel you forward. Absolutely. But if you're going to be looking back all the time, you're not gonna move forward. You're going to crash. Absolutely. You are going to crash. And so learn from your mistake. Stop grieving about the past. Some of us, I can't tell somebody to stop if they lost something yesterday to stop. No, but there must be a point. If you are grieving for for twin the past 20 years, that's a long time.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

That's a long time.

SPEAKER_05 20:26

And so there must be a cutoff point when you can say, you know what, I'm going to stop wallow in the past.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 20:35

And so you have to learn from a mistake to move to get unstuck.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Absolutely. Another one as well to help you to unstuck yourself. If you feel as though you're stagnant, you're not making progress, is you have to let go of unrealistic expectations. You know, sometimes we make some big audacious goals and you know we said to ourselves, Boy, you know, I'm going to be a billionaire by the end of the year. Nothing wrong with that tonight. It is possible. But if we were to really, you know, you know, make it a little bit more realistic.

SPEAKER_05 21:11

Yeah, I tell you what. When I just left university, when I just left university, for some reason, I don't know if I was delusional, but I believe that when I left UTech in 2010, I believe that I would have been probably a CEO of a major company in two years ago.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

When it's where that dream comes from. Ambitious sense.

SPEAKER_05 21:37

Yeah, and and and by the time year two come, I was not even, and I don't even have a good job and a degree. And so you you still unemployed. And still unemployed. And so you you you got overwhelming feeling as if you you are crushed by life. You're feeling stuck. Because it was an annex, it was a it's unrealistic. Unrealistic.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

You're coming out of school, fresh out of school, no experience. And trust me, I mean, a bachelor's that's just the basic to get to a CEO level. Maybe need your master's or your PhD. But again, we set these audacious goals, and when we don't meet them, we're filled with so much grief because we feel as though we should have been further. We're looking at people who are in those positions, not realizing that it's 20-30 years of work. Of work. You see the problem? That's something we have to recognize. Now, here's another one. Um, we also have to develop the discipline to keep moving forward. Now, I you know what I learned because over the past few months, as I started taking my whole health and wellness journey serious, I started to realize that all these wonderful physiques that I'm seeing online, these ladies have been working in the gym for two to three years. And I'm like, my word. Yes, and I thought that took them like four months. No, no, it takes so much time. And here's another thing that that I didn't know right off the bat. You could be making progress and you know, losing fat, gaining muscle, the scale does not move.

SPEAKER_05 23:17

Yeah, sometimes we are stuck because we are not willing to do the work that it needs to get us to the next level.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_05 23:25

And another part of that, many times we want to go to the next level, but the next level is not defined. So we want, you know, like when we are in church service, we are going to the next level. And you say, what does the next level look like? We don't know. But look, but coming back to your point about being disciplined, a lot of times we are not being disciplined for us to take us to the next level. We can be talented, right?

SPEAKER_03 23:46

Right.

SPEAKER_05 23:46

But talent alone is never enough for you to be successful, and so you're going to have to pay your price. That's when when when when both of us started out in 2013. Um, 2013. So we are now what? That's 13 years ago. 13 years ago. We took 13 years to get to this point.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 24:07

That's a lot of work. A holy pay. That's a lot of sacrifice. A holy. And that's a lot of pain. Yep. And so there are many people because greatness comes with a cost. Greatness comes with a cost. And if you're going to be the best in the life, you have to put up, you have to tolerate with pain that price. Some nights you'd have to go to your bed and cry. You have many times that you want to purchase your dream car, but you but you have to invest in your business. You have to pay stuff. And so a lot of times we are not where we are. Not because we are not talented, not because you are not gifted, but you are stuck because sometimes we are we simple don't want to pay the price.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

It takes a it takes a level of discipline that is unimaginable. And I think we need to get into the habit. When you see people doing well, you ask them, ask them.

SPEAKER_05 24:59

Ask them. Ask the price.

SPEAKER_01 25:01

You really don't eat KFC hot wings? And they say no.

SPEAKER_05 25:05

The price. The price. You know, you know, one time, you know, one time Jesus Mente. They came to Jesus toward them. James and John. And they want they want to one want to sit at the right. And one wanted to sit at the left of Jesus in his kingdom. And Jesus told them, You don't know what you are talking about.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Can you drink from my cup?

SPEAKER_05 25:27

Yeah, they Jesus said, You don't know what you are talking about. You don't know what you're asking. And you say, Can you pay the price that I'm about to pay to sit here?

SPEAKER_03 25:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:37

Can you pay the price that we are we are we pay to sit here? Powerful. And so when you sit anywhere, when you see a building, you need to ask the person who owns that building, what price did you pay? Yes. What price did you pay? What discipline am I required of? Because what we see sometimes with our own eyes, our eyes deceive us every day. Oh yeah. What you see is never the full story. There's always more to what you see. There's always more to what you see. There's always more to what you see.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

I wanna add our final point, you know, that as we speak about, you know, feeling stuck in life and how to become unstuck, all the businessmen that I know that are doing well, they feel stuck.

SPEAKER_05 26:27

Yeah, every all of us feel stuck.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Every person out there that you feel has achieved some level of success, they feel stuck. You wanna know why? Because the version of their reality that their experiences is not what they are experiencing in their head. And they know that they're capable of so much more, but it takes so much time for things to catch up. We're not okay. We're not okay because we're not seeing what we know that we truly possess. And so understand that this feeling of uneasiness continues with you. Once you're aware, once you know your purpose, once you have a vision, you're never truly satisfied because you know that there's always work to be done. But again, if you feel stuck, just make sure you're going through all those points. Um, and of course.

SPEAKER_05 27:23

And the last one I want to do to trust the process.

SPEAKER_01 27:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 27:27

Trust the process. In Six Sigma, they say in Six Sigma is a process that determines the final product. And they say if you want to change your final product, the same what you do is to change your process. But whatever process you are going through today, if you feel stuck, continue in keeping the process. Keep going. You need a mentor. If you need a mentor, get a mentor. But whatever you are going through, you need to get there. Don't die with that potential. And feeling stuck is a good feeling. You know why it's a good and a bad feeling? Because at least I come to the realization that there's more inside of me that needs to get out. And talking about getting stuck to get unstuck your company, you need us.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

You need training.

SPEAKER_04 28:15

You need training.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Need training. Call us so we can train your staff on whatever area you have in mind. We do have the skills and the expertise. We can create that plan for you to unstuck those employees. We want to change their level of engagement and help you to increase your bottom line. So reach out to Mind Food International and we'll be there to help you. Also, we want to say a huge thank you to our other sponsors, Jace Myrie Media, Proactive Lifestyle Limited, newly new sponsor on board. Um, Grace Creates, Amanda's Kitchen, Super Letive Auto, Mag 247's Wrecking Services, Jesse's Home Decor, SK Catering, the Self Care Bar, also regional consulting services all the way from K-Man. And guys, of course, if you want to sponsor us, we're waiting for you. Let us help you to get unstuck. That's it for episode 29. And one see you again.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

Can I throw one word in here? When we're done, go and subscribe.

unknown 29:25

We're done.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

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SPEAKER_05 29:54

Yeah, and we have to pay Jay's subscribe, subscribe. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

See you next time.