Prenups, Black Men’s Health, Timothée Chalamet & Target Boycott Over? | Raised By Her

Is your money safe? Is your body healthy? In this episode of Raised By Her, we tackle it all. From the viral Dak Prescott prenup drama to the urgent truth about Black men’s health, we explore why protecting yourself—financially and physically—is more important than ever.

We kick things off with a deep dive into Dak Prescott’s $260M prenup controversy, sparking a conversation on why millennials and Gen Z couples are increasingly turning to legal safeguards. Then, we shift gears to Black men’s health, breaking down cardiovascular disease and prostate cancer disparities, the backlash comedian KevOnStage faced for advocating checkups, and how preventative care is a radical act of self-love.

Finally, we take a closer look at the Target boycott, Jamal Bryant’s recent statements, and whether corporate promises on DEI and supplier diversity are being met. We also touch on pop culture, including Timothée Chalamet, and life lessons on milestones and celebration.

Timestamps:
00:00 – The March Madness Voice Loss Struggle
01:45 – Are Ohio Basketball Teams Secretly Elite?
02:20 – Dak Prescott & The $260M Prenup Drama
05:28 – Why 47% of Millennials Now Demand Prenups
07:40 – Is Marriage About Love or Family Management?
11:51 – Why Women Suffer Most in “No-Contract” Divorces
18:35 – The Truth About Black Men’s Health Disparities
19:18 – The KevOnStage Controversy: Why Men Fear Doctors
25:10 – Heart Disease & Prostate Cancer: The Cold Hard Facts
27:45 – The Tuskegee Legacy & Healthcare Hesitancy
34:25 – A Daughter’s Story: Learning From My Father’s Journey
40:05 – Is the Target Boycott Actually Over?
42:25 – Target’s 5 Demands: What Was Actually Achieved?
52:00 – Craig Melvin’s “Glass Half Full” Perspective
59:25 – Is Ballet Irrelevant? Debunking Timothée Chalamet
1:07:14 – Milestone Birthdays: How to Celebrate 75 Years

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Welcome back to Raise by Her. Please feel free to continue to like and subscribe. Hello. Hi there. How are you? I'm good, but I mean you are like really rocking and rolling with that. I am. I am because it's March Madness.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

This woman in her sports. I love it. I love it. I love it. In fact, I was concerned about not having a voice because I've been yelling and screaming at the refs and the TVs.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

So, but I'm good. You're good. Okay. All right. So you are at the game and your team did what it is you needed them to do, and you're looking forward to next steps.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

I am the uh top four teams in basketball um in the uh NCAA. Um right now is uh just before the big dance. So um people will be, I think, watching basketball now for the next several weeks and cheering for their favorite teams. And yeah, it's good. It's all good. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Um, you know what I used to love to do? Uh actually uh sometimes then we're gonna try to implement it as a family, and then I was like, oh, this is too much work, but doing the actual like ranking the brackets, the brackets, the brackets, yes, yes. But um I watched some families that do it. I'm like, that's cool. And then you you know you can either get bragging rights or prize or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Uh I know that my brother is uh who played basketball when he was in school and in college. Um he used to fill out the brackets and but they're all different ways to do it. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

I mean, like workplaces do them and yeah. So um, so but it's cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

It's a happy time for those of us who love sports and for those of us who are really into the teams. And uh some Ohio teams are doing really well, like um Miami uh of Ohio, Oxford. They have had a good season, although they're not highly ranked like Duke and Michigan and Florida and Arizona, but they still have had a really good season. And uh most recently I was rooting for the University of Dayton. Of course you are playing. Well, they're playing in the Atlantic 10, but uh this is the beginning, so go team.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Go team go team, go team. All right, and while you're watching that, I'll be watching my streaming services. I read my dramas.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Of course.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

But another piece of um somewhat relevant to sports that did pop onto my radar, our radar, um was Dak Prescott. Did you see this? Yeah, yes, I he was in the news because he just signed a big deal. I think it was $260 million, and he was all set to get married next month. Go, go, go, brother. And then um there was apparent allegedly some discussion with his fiancee, and they called it off because, again, allegedly she didn't want to sign the prenup.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

But don't they have children together?

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Haven't they been together for I think they have two kids? Well, okay. Um I know what it prompted for me in terms of like the conversation around prenups. I was like, I the it's hard to have a conversation about prenups without knowing the specifics because they are such uh fluid documents and so many different things could be in there. And so I'm like, was he not willing to negotiate on some things? Did she not know to negotiate on some things? Was like how you know, kind of like what was the behavior around the prenup? Because for me, I'm like prenups can they can do or say almost anything, you know, as long as it doesn't break any other laws. And so I, you know, I just I'm like, what was she asking for that was so egregious? Or what was he unmovable on that was so egregious, particularly to your point because they'd been together for so long and I've already, you know, they co-parent and have kids and all these other things.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

I was thinking that when I was reading about the story, um, how sad it is to have been together for an extended period of time, looking forward to the life you're going to build together. And now your big break comes and you have now all the money in the world to do whatever it is that you have dreamed about, and you now are deciding, okay, to get married. You know, I would have liked for them to have gotten married before, but that's that's me. But that's me. But that's a throwback. Yeah, but that is that's what I was talking about. Yes, that's a throwback. But now they have this opportunity to have this wonderful life together, and now they have a disagreement about how they're gonna move their life forward because of money. One of the number one things that really cause a problem in uh in marriages and relationships.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

And the fact that they were supposed to get married in April and it's in March. So that's also super close to me to even be having the conversation about uh prenups and whether or not just to even sign, but also to negotiate what's what's in it. Like I realize people do it all different types of ways, but um you know, a month out is a little it's a little late to me.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Okay, so what is a prenup? It is an agreement between two individuals who are deciding to join their lives in terms of marriage and um their assets, and they are putting on paper the specifics of how things might have to occur if there is a divorce in the foreseeable future.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Okay, yes. And so just for some additional facts, um prenuptial agreements are rapidly increasing in popularity in the United States, with around 15% of all married adults having one. That's up from just 3% of all adults having them in 2010. And it's a practice that is most common among younger generations, roughly 47% of millennials. Shout out to my fellow millennials, uh, and over one in four Gen Z couples report signing a prenup. So they are rising in popularity for a variety of reasons. Um, a few of which is that there's a generational shift in terms of when people get married. And so it as folks are older, they have more assets to consider and to protect whether that's student debt or their own um personal finances, like in the situation we're talking about now. Um and then also, let's see. Oh, a key driver is also the rising rates of entrepreneurship and the rising rates of second marriages.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yes, I well, I can understand that. When I think about the agreements that you want to have in a relationship, in a marriage relationship, it comes, it really comes down to a trust issue, it comes down to an asset issue in terms of what you have, what you've accumulated. It also comes down to, I believe, um, the children and how you want them protected and how you want to protect yourself in the foreseeable future. It makes it more challenging when it goes from love and us spending our lives together to being all about the money. So I think you have to be able to have that discussion to your point early on and be able to talk about honestly how you feel about that your bank account, my bank account, and then the bank account.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Finances are a big part of marriage. They are. And to act like they're not is uh disingenuous. I feel like if you even know, I also feel like you don't know what you don't know until you get into a marriage. Like you know as much about a person as you can. But this whole, like the idea of getting married for love is a pretty US concept still. And folks, some folks argue that that's a reason that there's such a high divorce rate in the United States compared to some other countries, is because yes, love is a factor, but marriage is so much more than just the love.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

The reality of the situation is that when you are bringing all of the assets, whatever you're bringing to the table together, we need to talk about how we're going to navigate our lives together in terms of your finances, but also if something happens, how do we then want to divide that which has occurred? And it's a challenging conversation to have when you're upset with each other. Yeah, you want to do it right. Why don't you do it? What everybody's ugly and yes, when you when you're not getting along, and that's generally what happens. It's been a part, I believe, of of well, I know it's been a part of the lives of wealthier people because wealthy families want to plan. They they want to make sure that the wealth that is in the family is going to stay in the family if indeed something happens. And when you have a divorce rate that's over 50%, and you you mentioned um second marriages, you have other people coming in. You also want to protect the future of your children. And family management, it is family management. So um my heart goes out to um, you know, to that his his fiance, but I I feel like it's family management in the same way that like estate planning is family management.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

And just like you don't want to start considering and talking about uh wills and uh powers of attorney and and all those types of things when there is something else going on, because then if there's something else chaotic going on, that's what's taking your time. You want to have those things in place initially. Um, that way it's something you fall back on and you know that you've already considered it from a measured and a more logical perspective with the rest of your family or with your spouse or whoever else is involved.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

It would seem to me that in terms of family counseling, when uh the the counselor or the minister talks to you about the things that you have talked about, things you've considered, the things that you are planning for your future, all of these particular topics would really come into, I think, the discussion. But estate planning or wills, it's not a part of what you're talking about when you're getting married. You know that counseling session that that you have with the minister before you decide to. If you get married in a church. Well, that's true. If you get married in a church, a lot of people don't, I guess, and they don't have to have that. But uh it was a conversation that uh your dad and I had to have, a conversation you and your husband had to have.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Um and so you really wanted me to get married in a church.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Do you remember that? Yes, I do. I wanted to get married in a museum. I wanted you to get married yes, in the museum.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Well, we're gonna have the reception in the museum donica, but we can you please please please and um your mother-in-law wanted you to get married in a church as well. That's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Um, there are mothers. Well, you did a part of what you and your convenience, you said, Well, mom, we we won't have to move if we're just we could you know the the minister can be there and we can be in the museum and we can just move from one area to another and make it easy for everybody, yeah. But um it was a beautiful wedding in the church. Well, yeah, it ended up it ended up working out, and the mothers were pleased, so thank you. But my point is that you need to have the conversation about all of these things on the front side, not when you're not getting along. And we know that over 50% of the people that get uh married in this country end up getting divorced.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Did you and my father even talk about pre dumps?

SPEAKER_01 11:21

No.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

Okay. It wasn't even like a a thought. Because again, a part of this is a gener the I mean you were married prior to 2010 when the prevalence of this is only three percent, you know, and now it's uh it's a part of the the culture in a different type of way now.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

But we we didn't, and actually we were older, so we should have. But uh it it is a problem when you decide, if you decide that you're not going to be together to start talking about then how you're going to divide things. Yeah. People are then in their feelings. That's exactly right. Very much in their feelings. And then the lawyers get involved, and then you have to pay so much money to be able to have the no lawyers to negotiate. So you don't have to negotiate on the front side if you have that conversation. You're having a realistic conversation. What I believe is that the the man wants his family taken care of. He wants to be able to make sure his children are taken care of, and he's the man of the family. So taking care of the wife and making sure that henceforth henceforth and forevermore, she has what she needs. And then I think it should also be an agreement that the wife would have, okay, let's do what makes sense and what's realistic, because I've been very much a part of this relationship. I have helped to not only take care of the kids, but take care of the house or take care of you and take whatever it is that you all have decided to do. So let's have that conversation on the front side.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Okay, yeah, to your point, uh, it comes down to the to the details and uh what was able to be negotiated and what wasn't able to be negotiated. That's that's where um I'm not quite understanding. She's come out uh more recently and said that the reason for their breakup actually had nothing to do with uh the prenup, but it had to do with other factors. And so other folks in our speculating and kind of going back into their relationship history and are saying, well, he's had a an issue with fidelity. And so that could be a contributing factor as well. And I'm like, well, if that's the case, include that in the prenup. You know what I mean? Like you can include these types of things, and we have heard of people that have had included that. So like I just, yeah. So just uh it it uh prompted some additional questions for me. My husband a prenup did come up um uh 10-ish years ago when I got married. Um and I was starkly against any type of signing of a prenup. And my husband was kind of like, whatever. Um, it is his friends that were like, no, she should. And um I was like, I'm not marrying your friends, you know, type thing. However, now like a decade later, yes, I am like, I it's fine either way, based on the nature of our relationship, but um I'm a fan of prenups. You're a fan of planning. I'm a fan of planning, I'm a fan of contracts. I'm a fan of putting things. That's probably that law school scenario. I know this is the the lawyer for sure, but like just put it all down. And you can all there's postnups, you can always amend, you know, as as life goes on and things change, but having an initial starting point, I only feel like is extremely helpful, particularly for women, because we know um the the negative financial, if we're talking just about finances, financial impact on women when there is a divorce.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

And we probably at some point on our podcast really need to go a little bit deeper uh into the financial uh protections that women need to have, because this is a topic of consideration for all women, but particularly women who have been out in the work world and are now beginning to have some assets and wanting to be able to make sure their family is well taken care of. So um you you often say that it's important for the man to have a role and to know what his role is, and the woman to have a role as well, but there needs to be an agreement. Families do it all types of different ways.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

All different kinds of ways. About the two of you and what you want your life to look like. Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

But I do think being protected and being well taken care of um is something that should be near the top of the list. I think that's what I that's what one would want.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

I I agree with you. I agree with you. Um so best of luck to both of them. It's true, uh for sure, and whatever they decide to do moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

And my heart goes out to the children that are greatly impacted by what they as adults are are doing because there's not just those individuals who are impacted, there's the next generation that's impacted.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

So take care of your business. Take care of your business. Actually, on that point, though, a another point of the driver of uh prenuptial agreements is I and I can't remember the exact statistics, I can pull them up maybe in a little bit, but it's um that millennials who are by and large driving this didn't grow up with two parents in the household as much as the folks did in your generation. And so they have been incentivized or prompted, or there's general awareness that it might not last. So, what protections do I need to put in place to ensure that uh my life doesn't fall apart if this particular piece of my life starts to fall apart?

SPEAKER_01 16:43

The challenge of the household that is a single parent household has been a growing trend in particular the United States over the last several years. And what we have found is that there are a lot of women who are raising their children on their own. Um they're raising children, and there are some men, there's some single fathers who have been in the situation where they're raising the children, but primarily it's been women um who have really been left to take on that responsibility. So I know exactly what you what you mean you talk about when you talk about the trend.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

It's 62% of the millennial generation were raised by both parents, whereas 85% of boomers born 1946 to 1964 were raised by both parents. According to Pew Research Center. So um there are thoughts of that also as a boomer.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Yeah, right. Uh but when you also look at those statistics, you'll find that during the booming age, um men were primarily the breadwinners. As things began to change in the 50s and 60s, where women started getting more and more in the uh workplace, um fought and won the right to. We fought.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

And yeah, you were right, yeah, yes, yes, so you just happen and were the primary breadwinners because um the women weren't allowed to be. That's true. That is very true. Unfortunately, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

And so um so things have changed. So when you're talking about is not only changing trends, but also how that impacted the family situation, the household.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Yeah, yeah. Um we're gonna be kind of hard on men a little bit in this episode, but it's out of it's it's out of care and concern.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

It is out of care and concern. And um, we've been talking a lot about um men's health and men's health issues uh this week because of some of the other trending stories and some things that have really come out in in the media. And it's such an important topic, though. We we've talked a lot on our podcast about women's health and the things that have impacted us in our families, but we have not talked about how the health issue has impacted those men that we love and that we care about and the trends that have been taking place there.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

Yeah, so my husband actually pointed this out to me. He's like, Have you seen this? And I was like, I'm I'm not a man, so I wouldn't focus on our algorithms are different. And he was talking about the fact that a gentleman that goes by the name of Kev on stage, um, his real name is Kevin Fredericks, and he's a very popular comedian, content creator, and entrepreneur. Um, a few a little while ago, um was doing a uh social media post about going to the doctor. And he um so he posted about his experience going to the doctor and then also about the need for black men to make sure that they get their annual checkups.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

And he got massive backlash from folks saying that um that's not necessary, that he must be gay if he's doing this, that if you go to wait a minute, he must be gay if he is going to the doctor and then suggesting that other black men go to the doctor. We see this in our comments on social media quite a bit. So reading is fundamental. And using your ears. Yeah. Listening is also critical in in communication. Yes. And so folks were like, do you not know the difference between an annual checkup and an anal checkup? Uh uh, and I actually don't think that's what it was. I mean, he and because he was talking about an annual checkup. He wasn't even talking about um going in for a prostate exam, which is yeah, which is what some of those comments were.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

The prostate exam is evasive, but he's so necessary. Or we're about to spit some statistics about it. I know it's not comfortable, but you know, our gynecological uh exams are not fucking bold either. If y'all only knew they really, exactly. So so you know, brothers, come on. Let's be realistic here.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

But go ahead with your and so uh he just got this massive backlash, and I was like, huh. And I was like, well, I really don't like having conversations um about a population that I don't feel like is represented uh in the room. So you're saying which what we should do is ask your husband to come in the to talk. Not necessarily. Uh-oh. Just checking, just checking. Now right here now. Maybe, maybe at some point for some reason in the future. Um, but he was like, no, I think that you you all can absolutely, as two black women, talk about this because to your point, we are the people that you love, we are your partners, we are your friends, and our decisions impact you. And uh they impact you mentally, emotionally, caretaking, financially, all those things. And so, as a part of this kind of head of household, a part of your responsibility is also taking care of your health to the degree that it's possible. He so, not that I was asking for permission, but I was like, That is a good perspective. All right. We will talk about men without having a man at the table.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

When your dad and I would have this conversation about um his health and talk about what he needs to do. And of course, because I was an advocate of making sure I would go to my annual exams and I would come back and I would talk about what the doctor has said. And um, and he would indicate, you know, I'm not sick. I don't feel like I need to go to the doctor. And I said, Well, I wasn't sick either. I was going for an annual exam, whether it's a breast eating exam. You know, I mean, I just do that. It's part of the prevention. Well, and I and I reminded him, I said, Do you remember the whale baby checkups that we used to have when when Donica was born? It's that kind of thing. So men too have to go and have um exams, even if you're feeling okay. And there was a lot of resistance there. Same kind of conversation with um with my father periodically. Now, daddy was was okay going to the doctor. Um, but I don't know if my grandmother gave him a choice. Yep, that's exactly what I was going to say. The minute our lives that that that that mommy indicated, you know, I can hear the conversation now. Frank, this isn't what you need to do, and this is why you need to do it, and this is how the food that you're eating is affecting you, and it's going to impact your life later on. So there was a lot of conversation, and this is back in the the 50s and 60s. Um, so but dad didn't resist uh mom in terms of that. I mean, he he understood because of some of the things that had happened in his family and him looking at the men in his family and some of the diseases that run in our family, whether it had been diabetes or whether it was heart disease. And so, um, but it was it was challenging and the conversations are challenging. Why should it be challenging?

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Uh yeah. So, and actually to the to that point about some of the other ways that you can live a healthy lifestyle, because this is a part of what showed up in the criticism um in Kevin's commas. They were like, you don't need to go to the doctor, you can you can just go to the gym. And it's like having a workout routine is a part of a healthy lifestyle. Having a healthy lifestyle um does not mean that you will never have any underlying conditions, or that um your family history is no longer a factor, or that something else could be going on, despite you looking and feeling okay, maybe, um, on the outside. Like working out is is a part of this, but it's not all of this. And so, yes, absolutely. Work out and eat healthy and take your herbs and everything, but also please go to the doctor. Go to the doctor.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Um, heart disease is uh the number one killer for African-American males. Um, we know that that is um is it's a chronic disease and it's a challenge. We also know that cancer is one of the diseases that really take our men on out of here, too. And we want to make sure that you have yourself checked out and then continue to live that healthy life that you can.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Yeah, and to take it even further about why we would even be compelled to talk about this, and I think why Kevin even felt compelled to talk about this is because black men have a life expectancy of four years shorter than everybody else in the United States population. And approximately 58% of black men have high blood pressure, which is one of the highest rates in the, not in the US, in the world. And they are 18% less likely to have their hypertension under control compared to the rest of the population. Also, black men are 35% more likely to die from major cardiovascular disease than the overall US population. And they account for over 50% of heart failure hospitalizations for adults under the age of 50. I could keep going on and on and on about the variety of disparities, but the numbers are astronomical. Yes, they are.

SPEAKER_01 26:09

And even when you look at prostate uh cancer and going and making sure that you have had your uh prostate checkup is is so important because and that's uh a somewhat simple exam to have, even though, as I said before, it's somewhat evasive. But it makes such a difference in the future of what our men can um can have in terms of a healthy lifestyle because you can present prevent some of the challenges.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Let's talk about the plastic the prostate cancer for black men. Black men are 1.7 times more likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer and two times more likely to die from prostate cancer than white men. One in six black men will develop prostate cancer in their lifetime. Get checked. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Just go get checked out and have your prenup so that no. No, no, no. But have me really think go ahead and and and um make sure that you're doing it for yourself, for your family, for those that you love. And I know it's really hard to convince them because there are some people in my life that that I love dearly that truly just seem to resist it. And the older we've gotten, there's more and more resistance. But if it's too late, then it doesn't help you. So we we're what we're truly trying to do is be preventive here and say, just go get checked out and do what you're supposed to do so you can have your healthy life and you can take care of yourself and and your family and to be able to live the kind of life you want to live. Yeah, live life you love.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

Yes. And uh, but we can't I we cannot have this conversation without the context of why there might be some hesitancy around um black men but black people in the healthcare system um in the US in particular. I mean, it's it's I mean, the history around the whether we're talking about the Tuskegee experiments or all the other experiments and injections and the and the and the I don't know the awful things that were done to us without us even knowing about it. And I mean it it goes back well since the many years since we got here.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

Yes, yes, many years. And and I think that having that kind of historical perspective and for families to be able to talk about that, because I do know, I know some African-American physicians that even when they are having conversations about not only black men but black families going to the doctor, there are certain questions that they would suggest that you ask. They want you to know why it is you're going to the doctor. They want you to know why it is then the doctor is sharing with you the tests that need to be taken. And it's because of this historical perspective that you're talking about. And for those of you who may not know the history, you need to just look up the Tuskegee experiment. Yeah, start there. Yeah, that's one of the um particular situations that was not only tragic in terms of the African-American population, but it continues today to be able to resignate in terms of black people and why we feel the way that we do about going to the doctor.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

So that is the reality, but that reality does not negate your responsibility. Um and I actually think that it makes it even more important for you to take ownership of your health to the degree possible because it's not about just going to the doctor, although that is our baseline ask. You then have to make sure that you identify a doctor that you trust, to your point about um your friends and our friends and our physicians um that have uh educated us on going a step further. It's part of the reason why I get part of my health care in a different city. We can be all the way honest about it, because some of the answers to the questions I had didn't line up. That's right. Um, and so even we just want people to be as healthy as possible. That's right. And just the the amount of backlash and the unreasonable responses to his simple ask of just go to the doctor, it it caught me off guard and it even prompted uh my husband, a black man, to say, hey, you guys might want to talk about this because it's not something that's talked about enough. And there still is a pervasive sentiment within our community that they don't need to go to the doctor for whatever reason.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Let's not be afraid of what you don't know here. Let's be really, I think, uh forward thinking and let's be proactive in terms of your health. You'll be healthier in the future, and future generations will be healthier because the more you know, then the more you can address, especially in a society that has all things happening to us on so many different levels, challenging our health, not only our food, but our environment. So there are reasons why it is important for you to go and just to be checked out.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

And I mean, and for the women who listen to us, don't let up on it. Like when when I got married, my husband did not like to go to the doctor, and he was like, you go to the doctor for everything. And I'm like, you're damn right. Like I sneeze, and I'm like, uh oh, what's that happening? Were we all in it? Well, yes, but um, but I would not let up on the fact that you need to get checked out and you just need to make sure that um everything is okay and there's nothing wrong with that. Now, from his perspective, he was like, actually similar to what you just said. And so I wonder if there's some correlation to some of the conversations you've had with the men in your life. He's like, Well, what I don't know won't hurt me. Right. And also, um, you know, prior to going to the doctor, there was nothing wrong. And then I come back from the doctor and I got this and I got this, and I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

They want to give me and they want to give me feelings, and they just want to give me more pills, and they're just trying to make money, and they're on the side of the pharmaceuticals uh companies. And uh you we do have all of those different kinds of conversations. And uh what's challenging is that the comeback to that makes sense to us, but it doesn't really make sense to the men that we are we are talking about. And most recently, um, because of my birthday celebration, I heard from some old friends and I was talking to them about how they're doing. And when I was listening to some of the challenges that they have had, and and I was thinking, did you go to the doctor ahead of time? Did you check this out ahead of time? Because to your point, if something starts to not feel right, what I'm going to do, especially at this age, is I'm gonna go have it checked out because then I'll feel better knowing what it is. And early diagnosis is key.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

That is one of the main things that they have a person's life. That is absolutely you have to know, but you have to know early. Yes. And so you don't get checks on know early.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

So regardless of what your age is, regardless of what the situation is, it's better to know and to be able to then address it in a certain kind of way. And if there's nothing wrong, then that's good.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Yeah, yeah. So again, my message to the woman is keep keep your foot on your your your partner's neck and make them make them and try to make them go. And as long as it, yeah, for as long as you can, for as hard as you can. He it's an expression of love. It is an expression of love. And my husband now goes to the doctor, and so it's taken a while, but it is now a part of his healthcare practice. So we are now in stage two where it's like, okay, now that you know this, the next step is to um in terms of some of his this health talent.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

He does that.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

First, know the landscape, and then you address the landscape. You can't just know, not do anything.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

I will say stages that your husband um has has um had some conversations with me about some of the health challenges, and he's really glad that he knows now why he feels the way he does, or how to be able to address some of the things. Now, he wasn't glad to go because uh initially he was complaining, but then after you know, then you can address it. So he's a prime example.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

And I also think you know more about this than I do, and we don't have to do a deep dive because it's really not in totality our story to tell. But it hits home for us because this was a part of my father's journey as well, and he's no longer with us, right? But uh he passed away of cancer. Um, but when the doctor first recognized that there was cancer present in the body, he had the opportunity to go to that step two that we just talked about in terms of get it addressed. And he chose for a lot of for a lot of reasons not to do that. And he was able to survive for over a decade um after that, but it's eventually what ended up taking his life.

SPEAKER_01 34:52

And what he said those last few months is uh if I had to do it over again, I would do it differently. And then he apologized to me too. He said, you know, I I I just thought that it was not gonna end up this way. I was taking charge of what I thought I needed to take charge of. And he was taking a more natural, holistic approach um for a number of years, but he also was tired of going to the doctor and dealing with the cancer. So there's a whole different concept that um we have to sort of take a look at in terms of how it impacts your life. And yes, he'd rather still be here, but you're right that um he decided not to take the traditional route. And we're not saying that there's any one way to go about dealing with your health or your health situations. There are many ways, and we have said before, you make sure you get a second opinion, sometimes a third opinion, and you go about it in the way that you need to go about it. But at the end of the day, you need to know. And when he found out, he did address it at some point in the way that he wanted to address it, uh, not as aggressively as I would have liked, but when we had that uh that conversation where he apologized for how it impacted me and our lives, uh, and then he made that statement that if I had it to do again, I would do it differently. Well, yes, we all know that that in life, that's the way it is. So and and uh when you looked at the health of his family because his father died of of cancer, and his father didn't go to the the hospital or the doctor to have it checked out until he was in stage four cancer. And so the fact that your father knew that, he did address it, he just didn't keep on addressing it, I guess, is yeah, is probably the best way to to say continuity of care is a part of this.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

Don't it's an annual exam for a reason. Go every year, don't go once every five years, don't go once every 10 years. And the older you get, the more frequently you have to. I mean, you and I talk about adding appointments. Yes, we do. Our calendars, the older we get, because it's it's a lot, but also you want to be here.

SPEAKER_01 37:06

You do want to be here, and you want to be here in a way that you are living your life. You don't just want to be here and just exist. You want to be able to engage in life, be healthy, do the things that you want to do. So um, and I can I can say that my father, um, who died of um of heart disease, uh he did go to the doctor and he did back address the situation, but he didn't always follow the advice. And his comeback to me would be, well, yes, that's true. They did tell me to do that, but you're gonna die of something. And I'd say, Daddy, that's not the perspective to have here. So my father died at 80, and you know, I'm I'm getting closer to that. So I, you know, uh it it makes me think about it. And heart disease ran um in that side of my family. So we have to be careful.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

We have to be careful, and then I'll just say one other thing about this based on the comments um that Kev received, because another part of the backlash, folks were like, well, we don't have $10,000 to go to an annual exam every year. So it does not cost $10,000 to get an annual exam. Um, depending on your health insurance, it should cost anywhere from zero to a couple hundred dollars. Um, but there are if that's not accessible for whatever reason, there are also free clinics. You might have to go the extra step depending on your situation to find um care. But care is still available for you if you seek it. And also, whatever the cost is to prevent, it's so much smaller than the cost is to try to get it. And so if you are complaining about how much it is you think it costs to prevent something from happening, or or to practice preventative care, you are really going to be in a tough situation if you receive a diagnosis. Because that's when we're talking about the tens of thousands of dollars or hundreds of thousands of dollars, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

And to that point, there's also an opportunity to, if you have to take medicine, if there are drugs, drugs that have been um prescribed for you, for you to do some research because there's generic drugs out there. There are other ways to be able to address these situations. So you can ask for help. And what we're saying is it's not an easy path necessarily, but there are other pathways to be able to go about addressing these situations. Yes. So I'm telling you that's but then come on now. Yes, we want you from the people. We want you to to really do what you need to do so you can live a healthy life and take care of your family and do the things that you know to do now so that you can have that long life and living your best life.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

All right, so continuing on this week's theme, which wasn't intentional, of black men in the news.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 40:09

We've talked about this gentleman before. Oh, yeah. But um, Pastor Jamal Bryant has declared that the boycott of Target is over. And um, you actually, when I brought this to you, something that we might want to talk about. You were like, say what now? You hadn't even heard of this. Lucky for you, you hadn't heard it. So you were continuing on with the boycott and continuing on with what you Right.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

Absolutely. I'm gonna continue on because it's important for us to not only, as black people, that take a stand, but it's important for us to know what's going on today. And I had not heard that the boycott was over.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

So, upon doing a deeper dive, there are a couple um nuances that I think are important, and then we can dive into what this truly, what we believe this truly means for um our community in this particular situation. So, first and foremost, um Pastor Jamal Bryant was responsible for the target fast and not necessarily the target boycott. And so those were two different things. And um, articles and the media convoluted the two. So I actually didn't even know there was a difference prior to doing a deeper dive. But the initial organizers of the boycott were some individuals in leadership at the Racial Justice Network, the Black Lives Matter Minnesota Network, and another organization, which I apologize. That name has escaped me. And so they were the initial organizers of the boycott. And so when Jamal Bryant came out and said that the boycott is over, particularly the leadership of the racial justice network, was like, sir, you aren't in a position to declare this boycott over because you were not in a position of leadership when this boycott started. And so I was like, okay. And then I was like, why would he declare this boycott as over? Did we receive everything that um we wanted as it pertains to this particular boycott?

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Do you remember what all of the um ramifications? Oh, yeah, I'm about to break it down.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

Oh, okay, okay. So thanks. Okay, all right, good. All right. So um these were the asks from the boycott. Invest $2 billion into black businesses and entrepreneurs, deposit $250 million specifically in the black-owned banks, establish HBCU centers, um, or open 10 retail training centers at historically black colleges and universities, reverse the diversity, equity, and inclusion, the DEI cuts that have been implemented and scaled back since the early 2025.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Actually got the attention and prompted this particular deep dive into not only the company, but what they had done and hadn't done over the years past. That's what really started this first the dialogue and then the boycott. Correct.

SPEAKER_02 43:10

And then lastly, so there were five asks. Lastly, to increase board representation on the company's board to 13%. Okay. So I was like, oh, if he wants to end the boycott, let's see if all of these things must have been addressed. Let's see what they've been doing to success. Yes. But in fact, okay, there have been no DEI policy reversals from Target. Um, there has been additional supplier commitments. So we are in the process, apparently, of receiving those $2 billion into Black owned businesses. It is reported at currently being 95% fulfilled as of this month.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

I've actually seen some news stories where black entrepreneurs Who have certain products have indicated that their products are now on the shelves in some of the um the target stores around the country. That has been something that has been talked about and promoted on some of the news shows and some of the talk shows.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

And there has been some increase in board representation. Okay. That's all. You you see my silence, uh, which I know you're not supposed to do on audio podcast, but I I I mean there I'm like, okay, and what about the rest of it?

SPEAKER_01 44:34

Right. Um, any progress in terms of the individuals who are supposed to be setting up the cent the training centers.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

Uh oh, okay. So they've opened, no, they've committed to opening some HBCU HBCU training centers. And so um there has, again, not been any reverse on uh the DEI cuts that were made and um in terms of the $250 million for Black owned banks, um, that has not been achieved. But then when I was looking at the data, I was like, but none of this has been achieved because 95% there in terms of a pledge for black businesses and entrepreneurs is not 100% plus. Um you have committed to piloting some HBCU centers in the future is not open 10 retail training centers at HBCUs. Uh uh progress on board representation is not an uh increase in black representation on the company's board to 13%.

SPEAKER_01 45:40

So I'm like, no, wait a minute. So a few months ago, when this was being talked about again on some of the talk shows, what was interesting is that because of today's uh environment, today's political environment, they have been, they target and the representatives had been able to pull back because they felt that the country as a whole was not now demanding the same kinds of progress to be made in terms of DEI and some of the other, some of the other standards and value systems that had been put put in place. So they sort of shifted in some of the things that they were planning on doing uh and some of the progress that they had talked, they had talked about. Now, this was uh Reverend Al Sharpton and some other folks talking about what had not been done and why, um, and that the pressure was still going to have to be put forward uh and pushed forward by the African American population and also the majority population because what affects us affects other people. So we're all in this together. Uh the challenge today is that we are being hit on so many levels and challenged on so many levels with diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives, with people feeling like they really don't have to address the inequities and the injustices that have occurred in terms of people of color in this country because there is not now the same kind of feeling from major corporations, from the individuals who are in charge, and from the political um texture of our country to address some of these. So this is a dialogue that's going to be ongoing, but I'm really glad to hear that um that you're bringing it up because I want to know why did Jamal say this? What was his reasoning for indicating in the um the boycott?

SPEAKER_02 47:43

There is nothing that I've found in any of his statements that um I feel like properly addresses a great answer to that question. What he said was that the progress had been made. And we just broke down the data and statistics where it indicates to me that s some progress might have been made, but the asks have not been met. He certainly have not been exceeded. Now, I will say that uh one of the things that came up was that he had a Target has a new CEO. Target's been freaking out for a while, right?

SPEAKER_01 48:21

Or as as as we say, sometimes Target. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 48:25

Have they earned? I think they got to earn Target back. Oh, they did you stop calling it Cardize Target? Okay, okay. All right, you're back to Target. You're no longer Target, okay. But they had um uh new CEO come in as of February 1st. Was it an African-American? It was not. Oh, okay. Um and so he was like, after conversations with this new CEO, I feel good about the future of Target's commitments. And I'm like, this man started his job on February. It hasn't even been two months, and you are pulling back from the boycott after one conversation with somebody who hadn't been in the job for three months.

SPEAKER_01 49:07

You know what this does? This really makes us wonder, and we don't know, but it makes us wonder what was that backroom conversation? We want to know absolutely, Jamal. What did you all talk about and what was promised to you? What what you personally, right? Yes, because yes, and we know it was promised to the community. Well, yeah, that hasn't happened. So we'd like to know what you think. Uh, for those of you who are listening to us and those of you who are watching, uh, we'd really like to hear your comments on this. How do you feel about the boycott today? And how do you feel about the conversation that we're having and uh the Reverend Bryant and his deciding to pull back? So please let us know. And will y'all be pulling back?

SPEAKER_02 49:52

Are you or are you staying out of target and continuing your shopping in other places? I mean, um, just because one person says the boycott is over does not represent a whole movement, um, which is what the initial organizers have said. And so I'm, you know, um I was just shocked. And then I it made me a little sad in terms of what this means when the community comes together. Because I feel like it was it, we did a really good job of coming together on this major impact.

SPEAKER_01 50:20

When you started looking at the numbers and the amount of money that they were losing from, um, the target was losing from the African-American community when you took a look at what their earnings were for certain quarters, the boycott was having a major difference in in terms of their income.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

And it was a good example for other corporations that this is what could happen if these types of policies are implemented or if we are as a community forgotten about. But what made me sad was is a little bit of progress all that folks think that they're worth? Like if you ask for a hundred percent and they deliver 30%, you're like, okay, that's good enough. I'm like, please, please don't let that be it. That's unacceptable. It's unacceptable to me.

SPEAKER_01 51:05

That's unacceptable. Yes. So we will uh we're gonna stay tuned. We're gonna stay on this and uh we'll take a look. Um, but I still want to know why he said that.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

So yeah, I mean so how much did he get paid? Well, I think women maybe has said he hasn't gotten paid anything, but you're right. There has to, because otherwise it doesn't make any sense. Megan makes sense. That yes, please make it ask. Yeah, somebody else in the comments.

SPEAKER_01 51:28

He's out there, he's been um traveling around the country, he's been going various places. So uh Reverend Brian, we want to hear from you too. We want to know what is it that makes you think that we should pull back on this this boycott as well. But that's okay. I mean, you know, we're gonna find out, and then we as a community are gonna stand together because that's what we do. We've been doing it since slavery times, and we're gonna continue doing it. And for the well, that's true. That's how we've done the beginning of time. Yeah. Um, I was watching um today show uh recently, and uh speaking of black men and this not being the theme of it. Is this hopefully is this a better, better time? Are we gonna raise it back right? It it is something that's other than positive. Um uh Craig Melvin, um, who have was chosen to be one of the co-hosts of the Today Show, and um he is Savannah Guthrie's um co-host, and God bless her and her family has been going through, so we continue to have uh have her and her prayers, but he just recently started a podcast. Oh, in the air. Something uh or in the water. He said that he was approached because um not only our podcast becoming more and um more popular, but um he was approached because people thought that he had a really good perspective in terms of how he looked at life. And they asked him to host a podcast and that the uh title of it is Glass Half Full. And he said he thought about it um quite a while, and then he decided, you know, um let's really talk about how we're gonna do this podcast. So what he did was um he thought about what he who he wanted to interview, and he said, you know, I usually have an opportunity to interview people for a good three, four, five minutes. On the podcast, I could really talk to people for an extended period of time. And so he said that excited me. He also likes to drink bourbon, and so he decided that he would uh go to his basement and create his own little studio in his bar area and uh have a uh a toast to whoever it was. And so he has started this podcast. It's it's brand new, but uh some of the folks that he really wanted to talk to was Shaq and uh Carmela Anthony and Sharon DeRhimes. And so he's really excited about this this new beginning. And I thought that was pretty cool. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_02 53:58

Um, so I saw the trailer, and I'm always here for new and different and interesting content and conversations and learning more about people. And uh so I think I might try to, you know, listen in or or watch in and see how and see what I think. But what really kind of struck me about the the trailer was that so you said that the name of the podcast is Glass Half Full. Yes. And so one of the questions that I guess that he asks every um interviewee, every guest, is do you view your life glass half full or glass half empty? And so, by the way, if I were to ask you this question, I already know what your answer would be.

SPEAKER_01 54:41

Um Absolutely, you know what my answer would be. That's why I'm here today. If my glass wasn't half full, then my life wouldn't have been what it was.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

I'm sorry. Okay. But in terms of at least what they teased, it was about 50-50 in terms of the guests saying either half full or half empty. And so it made me wonder what the for the folks who said glass half empty, I wonder why. Because I mean, these are successful people. They appear to, I mean, you can never really go off of appearances of people's lives, but they appear to have like navigated their lives in a certain type of way. And so I'm like, maybe glass half empty might mean something a little different to them. So that's actually a part of why I'm like, oh, this could be interesting to watch, in particular because I want to understand how somebody can um navigate their lives in what appears to be a positive way with the mindset of having a glass half empty.

SPEAKER_01 55:35

So when I was watching um the interview that you that you're talking about, um I thought you're right, those individuals have had a lot of success. But perhaps what they're focused on, maybe, is the fact that they had to go through all of these challenges in order to be able to get to where it is. You know, when people see you and they they see you as successful, what they believe is that you've gotten there and, you know, your life is cool. Your life is so spent, oh, roses and rainbows. You know, you have you haven't had the same kind of problems in life that I've had. But when you take an opportunity to read some of the autobiographies and in today's social media world, when you really dig deep, you really find that everybody has had to go through a something. Everybody has, whether you're wealthy or whether not. And you really have to then have a perspective. And I I personally believe that your perspective is what if it should be, you know, what have I learned from this? Because I don't want to really have to go through the same thing all over again, all over again. But also, how do you move from one point to another point? So I think in terms of looking at the glass half empty or half full, it might depend on the day, but I believe that you have to then move it forward because you're gonna go through something. And I think that maybe, I don't know that I haven't watched the the podcast yet because it's brand new, but that may be an opportunity to be able to have a different perspective. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_02 57:06

Yeah, it could be. I mean, uh, it made me curious because I I know at least for um in my life and then the folks who I view as as mentors um and have had a level of success as I define it, they tend to view life as half full. And that's a part of what has helped them navigate some of those valleys and challenges to kind of just keep going and keep pushing. And so um I, you know, I don't know, but like I said, I'm curious to see how the his guests view half empty and if it means to them what it meant, what it means to me, because maybe it doesn't, you know, maybe there's a whole there's probably a whole different perspective out there that I haven't even considered. And so that would be the reason for me to kind of tune in and be like, oh, huh.

SPEAKER_01 57:53

All right. So I'm gonna tune in as well, and then we'll have an opportunity to uh to talk about whether the glass is happy. Over bourbon. No, I don't know. It's not true. I know it's not true. Bourbon is not my cup of tea. What about you?

SPEAKER_02 58:06

You don't like brown liquor, period, do you?

SPEAKER_01 58:08

No, not very much. Not very much. What what about you?

SPEAKER_02 58:11

Um, so I developed an affinity for bourbon after working for an alcohol company, and they took us to um the bourbon trail in Kentucky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Kentucky, right in Louisville, Kentucky in particular. Right. And it was a very curated experience, who's in I was there representing an alcohol company, and I showed up and they were like, let's make you a cocktail. And I was like, I don't do bourbon. They were like, ma'am, yes, you do. Okay, okay. Let me show you how we do bourbon. Okay. And so I was like, Oh, turns out I do do bourbon. And so, yeah, yeah. So actually, it's I I think we could get you there. Um, it just we'll have to take you to the bourbon trail.

SPEAKER_01 58:53

We have lots of relatives in Kentucky, so I'm okay going through using it. So maybe, maybe going to the bourbon trail. So um, but um we want to toast uh Craig Melvin and his new podcast and let him know that um we're gonna try it out and maybe with a glass of bourbon.

SPEAKER_02 59:10

Yeah, and if we do it with a glass of bourbon, our glass will be empty by the end.

SPEAKER_01 59:16

But I will start out with my glass half full. There you go. Okay, there you go. There you go. Well, it's been wonderful talking to you, dear.

SPEAKER_02 59:23

I know you're trying to wrap it up, but we have to talk about one more thing.

unknown 59:25

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 59:26

We have to talk about the arts.

unknown 59:27

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 59:28

And what came up in the arts. And I have to hear your perspective because you know, you ran an international arts company. So um, I mean, what were your feelings about the actor Timothy Chalamagne's comments about how ballet and opera are irrelevant? This actually came on my radar more so once Misty Copeland, who I like to follow, who's everything, uh, was like, oh, you know, like I I disagree, and here's why.

SPEAKER_01 59:56

When uh Matthew McConaughey was doing this interview with um with Timothy, and I watched Matthew's face. I think a whole bunch of people's faces. Well, yes, and um the the comment that was made that opera and ballet were irrelevant at this particular time. And um I I I was shocked to hear an actor to say that in 2026. And he comes from a family of vanters.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:27

Yeah, from like the New York Company or something. Like Sister, his mother and his grandmother were some pushback was like maybe it's a family issue. Well, it could be.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:34

Hey, it could be but his his comment really struck a nerve because I think not only Mystic Copeland, but other people felt like he's ill-informed. It's uh an art form, whether you're talking about the opera or whether you're talking about the ballet, it's an art form that has been here for centuries and that is a beautiful expression of art and self-expression. And it's an opportunity to be able to grow culturally. And so some people suggested that maybe what uh Timothy uh needed to do he needs to grow culturally. I guess to grow culturally and to and to to be able to express um maybe uh a different kind of feeling if he would go to the opera and go to the ballet. And it also, in the conversation that had been taking place, really allowed people to embrace um arts and culture in a way in 2026 that that we need to. It adds to our life more than taking from our life. It allows us to be able to experience the the joy and the beauty and the self-expression of the artists themselves. And you may not like all of everything, and that's what I found being the CEO of an international uh contemporary dance company, but being able to enjoy the moments of self-expression and the beauty of dance and culture, it's an international language. It allows us to be able to move forward, I think, with a spirit of culture and joy in our hearts and souls.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:11

Yeah, I mean, I think you just the point that that you made that I thought about was, and again, we we've talked previously about people kind of being one note, opera and ballet, among other forms of art, are massive globally. Yes. Massive. And our experience here in the US is more limited sometimes because of access, because of I mean, there's there's there's some reasons there. Um, and so if you have the opportunity um and the privilege, but the opportunity to be able to experience ballet and opera, to your point, whether you like it or not, I don't think that anybody can sit there and and dismiss it based on the nature of the art form. And then just to know that even if this is a limited kind of US um experience, that it is pervasive because of its excellence and its cultural relevance and its dynamicism, is that word? How dynamite it is, yes, um, globally. I mean, that you you it's offensive, but also it's like, sir, that says so much more about you than it does about these art forms because they are spectacular.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:32

And he is an artist saying this. I mean, I'm an art family. Yeah, yes. Um on the on the view, did did you see the interview um on the view and they were they were talking about it?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:44

They're breaking it down and uh no. I mean, I might might have seen like a clip or two, but no, I did not see like a whole.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:50

There would um be um the various uh individuals on the view were all talking about their experience in arts and culture. And so whether it was the dance theater of Harlem or whether it was um acting on stage or whether it was um having a chance to to be able to just go and celebrate opera that is not always the easiest to understand in terms of the um the language, but the expression easy to feel. Well, yes, it is easy. That's a great way to put it. Easy, it's easy to feel, but also the amount of talent that you have to have to be able to express yourself was just it's just tremendous.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:32

And um, like sir, have you tried to um sing opera when have you put on ballet shoes?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

Um when we were uh traveling uh and touring um in uh China and we had an opportunity to go to a Chinese uh opera, and uh of course we're not understanding the language, but we could feel the storyline and we could feel the passion, and we could really celebrate the beauty of the art forum itself. And then uh traveling and watching the dance companies around the world, the same thing. Uh it was uh it is an international language, which is what arts and culture is. So it's it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:14

So um I like ballet more than opera, admittedly. Um and uh I won't say that I'm I'm I'm buying opera tickets um en masse for sure. That's not the case. And might not even I might there are probably other forms of dance that I would participate in as a viewer, um, and going to the theater, but by no means do I think just because that might be how I'm feeling this year, that I would be so dismissive as to say like it's irrelevant to everybody around the world. Just I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:52

Well, Timothy Charlotte Timothy Charlotte, I was gonna say what you need to do is go experience more of that. Which uh we've had an opportunity to experience in our life because uh all dance actually starts with some form of of ballet, I know. And uh well, because you have to be able to move your body in a certain kind of way. It's the rhythm, it's the soul, it's the spirit. So did you ever take ballet? No, I did not. Oh, okay. So uh I have two left feet, so we didn't do that. Uh so in my course in my theater classes, that was not. Oh, they kicked you out immediately.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:28

There, like, no, no, it was not. But you did. I did, yeah. I mean, I was young, it didn't last for a long time, but uh there are pictures to prove. Yeah, that was there.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:37

Yes, yes, you were you you're there, and uh you liked wearing your little tutus and putting the makeup on. Which is how I know the butt strength that I mean exactly right. So I I'm telling you the the talent and the art form, and uh shout out to uh all the African American uh companies as well as the white companies that really have uh the beautiful art form and how they continue to be able to celebrate all cultures around the world. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:04

Okay, so I want to end on a specific topic. Um, continuing your celebration of your birthday. Okay, we got three quarters of a century last week. Yes. Um, and so you talked a little bit about your birthday last week, but we did pose a question to some of our audience on Reddit. And the question was, how do you approach milestone birthdays? Because we talked about how we celebrate. Um and so do you all celebrate them or do you try to ignore them? And so I just want to read a couple of the responses. Okay. Um one person said, for my 60th birthday, I took a nice drive up highway one through Big Sur, all by myself, quiet, contemplative. But in reality, I didn't contemplate much. And aside from the drive, it was pretty much like any other day. And I'm fine with that. I feel better physically, mentally, spiritually in my early 60s than I have in the previous decade.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:10

Oh, I love that. I love that. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:12

Um, another person said, I went parachuting on my 60th. On my 70th, I went on a charter sightseeing plane with my best friend's son and grandson, and we scattered her ashes in the Columbia River George. Gorge. Sorry. For my 75th, I think I want to go up in a hot air balloon. And one of the coolest things is that so many people chimed in and were like, do it. It's one of the most magical things that they've ever done. And so she got a lot of encouragement to to celebrate her 75th birthday that way. And then hot air balloon.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:42

Yeah, you've been in a hot air balloon. It's a wonderful experience.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:46

Bend your knees on the landing. Oh, the landing is a bend your knees, bend your knees. Yes. Um, another person said, I plan on killing it on my 60th birthday. We're gonna throw a huge party. Uh there were several other comments, but the last one that I'll say, because I I think this will make you laugh. Um, 75. Damn, she looks early 50s at most.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:10

You'll take it? Uh I will take that. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. It was a wonderful birthday, a great celebration. And it's not over. That's right, it's not over, but yes, ooh, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:26

So thank you all for joining us on this episode of Raised by Her. And if you enjoy the conversation, please continue to engage with us. Please like and subscribe on the channel. And we look forward to seeing you next week. Appreciate it. Thank you. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:53

She's got wisdom. She's got deck, she's got questions, she's got letters, two voice that's gonna lie, like wisdom. That's the key.