Angel Reese, Kanye Banned, Coco Gauff x Miu Miu & More | Raised By Her

Angel Reese’s 460% salary jump, Kanye West’s ongoing controversy, and Coco Gauff’s latest campaign backlash—what do they all reveal about the cost of authenticity in Black media?

In this episode of Raised by Her, we explore the thin line between artistic freedom and brand accountability—and how one moment can shape (or shift) a legacy.

We kick things off with Arsenio Hall and his controversial Louis Farrakhan interview, breaking down how that decision impacted his career—and how it compares to the modern-day unpredictability of Kanye West.

From there, we dive into the viral backlash surrounding Trick Daddy’s performance at an Alpha Kappa Alpha conference, unpacking what it teaches us about intergenerational marketing, cultural respect, and audience alignment.

We also highlight:

• Angel Reese’s massive economic impact and what her rise means for the WNBA
•  The raw reality behind Lamar Odom’s documentary and the intersection of accountability and addiction 
•  The scrutiny around Coco Gauff’s Miu Miu campaign and the ongoing conversation around beauty standards 

This episode explores public image, legacy-building, and navigating visibility in a culture that demands both authenticity and perfection.

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Why We Choose Greatness Every Day
 00:52 – Arsenio Hall & the Farrakhan Controversy
 02:10 – Inside the “Dog Pound”: Arsenio’s Impact
 03:45 – Kanye West & the Accountability Problem
 07:42 – Separating Art from the Artist
 09:54 – Confessions of a Black Radio Manager
 12:40 – Why My Dad Was Horrified by Lil’ Kim
 13:40 – Trick Daddy & the AKA Performance Backlash
 16:55 – Can You Really Censor a Rapper?
 18:46 – Marketing to Gen Z in Traditional Organizations
 23:45 – Angel Reese & the 460% Salary Jump
 27:40 – Lamar Odom’s Documentary: The Raw Truth
 32:20 – Accountability vs. Addiction
 39:35 – Coco Gauff & the Campaign Backlash
 43:50 – 4C Hair & Modeling Industry Insights
 47:10 – Donnica’s 40th: The Power Decade
 50:02 – What “Moonjoy” Teaches Us About Life

🎤 New episodes every week. Honest conversations between mother and daughter on family, womanhood, and navigating life across generations.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Thank you so much for joining us on the Raised by Her podcast. It really helps us out. If you download, subscribe, like, and love. And also please leave us a review. Welcome back to Raised by Her. How are you doing? I'm doing great. How are you?

SPEAKER_03 0:25

I'm doing really well. But you know, I choose to be great. This is true. This is true. Yes. Regardless of what's going on in the world, I am choosing to have my best, best life.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

It's an excellent example that I try to follow. Yes. Even if every day I'm not quite as you are. Well, you know. So we got some amazing um uh responses to some of our conversation around Arsenial Hall. And a lot of people feel very similar to you in terms of his impact and um just want to give him his flowers as well. So I wanted to read you some of those comments. Okay. The first one being Arsenial was hotter than fish grease. I love it. Nonetheless, when Arsenial had Farrakhan on his show, it sealed his fate.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Oh, yes. Well, because of what was going on in our country at that time, it doesn't surprise me that he would have uh Farrakhan on. And he uh Arsenial talked about the fact that, of course, the network was not happy, but he what Farrakhan was saying needed to be said in terms of uh some of the audience and audience members, but he realized that it was going to be very, very controversial um at the time. So, you know, more people too.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

That's a bold move and one that takes a lot of courage. So obviously, I wasn't watching the Arsenial Hall shows a little before my time, right? Examples like that show me just how he did kind of advocate on behalf of powerful he was, yeah, in addition to how authentic he was. Yeah. Oh, I love that. My introduction of Ferric Connors to my grandmother. Oh we'll have to talk about that. Absolutely. She would make sure you that you knew. Yes. Uh, another person said, I remember the dog pound, and it was on Fox 29 here in Philly. That's what he did. You might say, What's happening?

SPEAKER_03 2:17

So he he would uh raise his um his fist and he would go woo-woo-woo. And that's uh all the people in the dog pound. That was a part of his bit. His audience engagement bees. Yes, yes. So that's why they called it the uh the dog pound and they were doing the the wolfs. So and you still remember the horse signatures and everything. Yes, absolutely. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Another person said the show was popular with younger viewers and your hip aunts, uncles, and grandparents.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Yeah, I'm one of those. Yeah, yeah, I think you are. You for sure are. Yes, you are hip. I and I I think that it had to do with how he delivered his monologue, how he delivered his jokes, but also he had these little moments where if there was a question, if there was something not quite making some sense, he would say, It makes you want to go, hmm. And then so people would start to do that as a part of their conversation. So just a really cool way that we related to him. And we missed him when he decided to no longer be on the air.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Well, we should we uh celebrated him last episode, but just as a little bit of a continuation, shout out to him and his positive impact. Uh clearly it was felt um across the board and across generations.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

And one can appreciate uh a talented individual who can do many things. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Um I was thinking about uh what I read recently about um Kanye West, um, who is not synonymous with Arsenio Hall. No, not synonymous at all, but a very talented individual who has just had a life full of trauma and drama and antics, and uh and most recently uh his concerts have been canceled in Great Britain. Okay and the folks are saying they are tired of his racism, they're tired of his anti-semitism, they are tired of how he has presented himself time and time again, and they canceled um a three-day concert that um in Great Britain. So are you uh were you have you been a Kanye fan? Uh I think formerly, excuse me, formerly known as Kanye, because now he calls himself Ye. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

Um I'm still gonna call him whatever I want. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

All right, okay. I think fan is strong, but I think my introduction to Kanye West was his Through the Wire album and song, and I did enjoy that song and his music um there, but I didn't and haven't really followed him. I've just seen to your point, like his antics. I remember him not just for the music he delivered, but then also when he started to dabble into politics, and I'm remembering the um uh George Bush doesn't care about black people, Kanye. And um, but now you know I'm remembering a very different Kanye in the present times and his alignment with our our current president. And so uh I'm also familiar with him uh per being a husband to uh Kardashian because I watch reality. Oh of course, yes. And so it's yes, um I just I'm disappointed in his behaviors and um I'm always disappointed with racism and anti-Semitism and sexism and all the isms that he literally embodies and his I do not think that his I'm gonna put in quotation marks or quotes um uh apology was really an apology. I think it was just an intro for him to start doing exactly what he wants to do, which is go back on tour and concert.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

Now is the time, so let me decide. I'm going to say this and talk about my mental illness and some of the challenges that I've had and sort of blame the antics uh on on that. But you're you're right that um is it true, is it real? I mean, you know, we don't know, but we know that the British government is saying no, because they appealed his producers and his agency appealed several times, and um he said he wanted to go and sit down with the Jewish people, the Jewish councils, uh the deputy commission, uh and um but they said that's fine, we'll talk. What's one got to do with the other? But we're not going to uh allow you to uh to participate. However, he has had sold-out concerts uh here in the US. Yeah, and here yeah, yeah, yeah. Um LA he's had a so whole sold-out concert. He is touring the world now, so he's in other countries in Spain and Turkey and India. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

I um uh the accountability piece, which we also talked about a little bit last episode, too, around um Chile and some of her her politics. Although I feel like Kanye OS has gone way beyond anything that I'm aware of that she's done. Um, but it just it makes me a little sad in terms of how short people's memories are, I guess. But then also maybe it's just people are really differentiating the the artist from like literally everything else. I don't know. You know, I feel like this this comes up periodically in the culture, uh, you know, like R. Kelly, for example, or you know, I even Michael Jackson when he had his whole issue with the with the children and things.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

So things like this pop up, particularly when there's when people are when the artist is so talented and revered, and then you're like, now wait a minute, and then you really just have to have a that that's true, because um Kanye began by being a songwriter for Alicia Keys and Jay-Z, and he was then able to take his talent and then to just move forward and to not only be popular, but also to be an artist that a lot of people wanted to be around. What he's saying now that his tours represent um unity and love and that's not how that works, and so well, no, and and he said about Neil, he says that um his music is healing, and so that's a part of what he wants to do on tour now. Now, we haven't seen anything that's representative of that, but that's what he's saying.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

But if one wants forgiveness, in my opinion, um the best way to gain it is through action and not words. That's true. And so that's what I'm watching from him now. Uh, it's just like, okay, I don't care what you say, but you know, what are you actually doing? Do you know if he actually sat down with the Jewish community? Um or once they said no, you can't come, you say, okay, oh never mind.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Um I do know that they put in the request uh several times, so but I I don't know that. Uh but a lot of times it would come up uh when we did music concerts. We at the radio station, do you want to um have certain artists uh representing uh certain populations be a part of your entertainment? And because we produce music festivals, there would be times when we would have to say, no, that's not representative of who we are and what we do. Do you remember a name? Uh I don't remember a name uh at this particular time. This was in the 90s, um, but I do remember the conversations with staff because my programming people, of course, want to be able to present the the latest and the greatest artist. Um, and my salespeople want to be able to sell the packages uh and the advertisement. And so when I'm saying um yes, no, yes, no, uh, and and the no had to do with a value statement because I felt like as an African-American-owned radio station, but more importantly, a station that really celebrated black music. And this is the time of the transition. This is when hip hop and and rap were just really becoming more and more popular when you look and look at the early 90s. And that's not what I thought I was going to be the general manager of this change in transition. Rap music just kind of knocked me off my feet. I will tell you. What kind of stage?

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Well, you wanted it to be an RB stage. It was an RB stage.

SPEAKER_03 10:31

So that that that's what I had researched.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

And uh even the music was changing then, too. Like that was the whole kind of the approach to RBC.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

You know, the temptations, the OJs, the Supremes, you know, you know, the Dells, you know, all of those things. But uh, you know, we had to transition with the times. Yeah, and the young artists were really talented. You know, we talked about it last week. We talked about TLC and you know, um, it was it was wonderful to be able to support the young black artists coming up and uh, you know, SWP. I mean, all of them, you know, it's just and it's cool to be in the entertainment business and to be around all of this this talent and this creativity. It's not cool to have to deal so much with um the changing of the language, and that's where what I had a problem with. Just and you remember your dad had a problem with that too.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Oh, yes, yeah. He uh was very concerned about my consumption um of the music, and then you all had to have a conversation. You were like, yeah, we you know we I did. I told you.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

This is this is who we are in the business that uh that I have, and so I understand, and we're not we're not promoting this language, but this is a part of what arts and entertainment is. We also had we were one of the companies that had a conversation with the record companies about cleaner versions of the talent. I remember you all would only play cleaner versions, and I was like, Wait a minute, yeah. I remember a situation where a woman came up to me at an event and she was so upset with me, and I said, Ma'am, what are you talking about? And she said, You have this announcement that talks about the cleaner version of the song, and my child, and and and I said, I'm ma'am, I don't know what you're talking about, but um one of the contemporary stations was running the other version, and that's what her, I don't know, the son or daughter had and make sure you check the dial.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

That's exactly right. And uh station, right?

SPEAKER_03 12:23

And so she came up to me later at some point and said, I have to apologize because I did what you said. I went to check, and I just thought it was your it should have been your radio station. And I said, you know, anyway, it was it was difficult.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Oh, you know what I remember, which probably did nothing to help uh your discussion with my father, is um he took me to a little chem concer. I'm like, did you continue? He was horrified. He was horrified. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

You know what? We should have had your grandmother take you, you know, because she went to the prince concerts, and we've talked about the things that your your grandmother liked to do. So we probably should have had grandma. Maybe I don't know. You know, this represents in Lil Kim.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

Um uh that there's a ton of relatability there.

SPEAKER_03 13:10

Well, no, but remember she went to uh Chappelle's concerts too. I mean, you know, his his his comed his comedy shows.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Yeah, it's still I feel like Lil Kim is kind of actually that's a really good transition into uh because I do feel like Lil Kim's performance can sometimes be more synonymous with Trick Daddy than it has been uh in the news as well this past week because he did a performance with an organization um that we're not a part of, but we have a ton of friends and family that are aka's Alpha Kappa Alpha Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. Yes. Um and they have national conferences and regional conferences, and one of their at one of their regional southern conferences, they contracted Trick Daddy to come and perform. That is just shocking to me.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

I cannot imagine Trick Daddy performing at any black female organizational conference across the board. None of them. I mean, whether it would have been the Deltas or any of the other organizations, some that we are a part of, but you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Well, I um perhaps it was an attempt to try to be more intergenerational in their approach and appeal. This is me just guessing. And then also I was reading an article about this, and I was like, this is a really good point. As leadership transitions and generations transition, like I remember Trick Daddy music from back in the day. So that so that's it's um reminiscent for me and so many other people. So while the um 80-year-olds were appalled for all the reasons that they would be. Um, you know, there were certainly some folks in the room that, you know, were up and dancing, but literally during the performance, half the people left. Like if you watch the video, half the people left, and they were just um I irate.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

How entertainment is normally chosen for conferences is that there is a committee, there's somebody who's in charge, but then there is a committee, and then after you choose your entertainment, it has to sort of go up to the next level and then up to the next level in order for the performers to be approved. So I'm surprised that Trick Daddy was even approved.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

And it wasn't just him, actually, Uncle Luke. Okay, not for sure. You go back in the day, okay. But so um but he performed as well. Okay, but he did they walk out of his performances too? Not to my knowledge, it did not receive the backlash at all that this one did, but he also uh performed a cleaner version. Uncle Luke did, yeah. He was perhaps more on brand with what the aka's were um looking for. And in um the the woman who was, I don't know if she's like the head of the entertainment committee or whatever, the woman who was responsible for like the contracts and everything. Because you're right, everything, all this is decided by committee. So it's not just on her, but um a part of their statement was well, he wasn't supposed to behave as if he was in one of his regular concerts. I mean, he was just it means that he was supposed to perform like a cleaner version, they had a very specific set of songs that when you're on stage, they you know don't want you humping the air and you know things of that nature.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Yes, okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

And then he came out and he was like, first of all, I have mass respect for the organization. Um, however, uh, you know, I can't really be censored. If you want Trick Daddy, I'm gonna give you Trick Daddy. Oh wow. Um that's what happened. Yeah, which I actually kind of agree with him. I'm like, if you want me to perform, this is who I am.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

No, I I I don't agree with that. I think if if he or his his uh managers said, okay, we'll give you a cleaner version, then they should have then adhered to the contract. You cannot have it both ways. So get the money, say I'm gonna do one thing, and then you're out there on stage and then decide to do another uh to do what it is you normally do. And also for those conferences, for regional conferences, usually it's the same entertainment that goes from region to region. So I believe that uh he was probably scheduled in the other the other cities to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Um I mean, I don't, I you know, I think you have to be aware of what you're presenting. I mean, I don't, I wouldn't, I would try to set everybody up for success. Okay. And so Trick Daddy just wouldn't have been one of my choices based on what I know about the demographic of the audience. And so why even kind of take that risk? It's hard to say because we weren't in the rooms. We don't know what was in the contracts, and you know, we're just responding to the different responses, but also um yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Well, having worked with uh several entertainers and their uh their producers, uh managers, what what happens is there's the money involved, and so that's what people actually make their decisions on. And that's a challenge.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Uh is it if you select like the right artists? You know, I don't know. It's you know, if you had selected like Alicia Keys or something, when we haven't this.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

I would imagine that there is a difference in the price point for Alicia Keys and for Trick Daddy, or that there's other people in Trick Daddy. Price point that would have been more appropriate for if I had been on the committee, it would not have been Trick Daddy, but you know, who knows?

SPEAKER_01 18:45

You know, I can't appreciate their desire to diversify though, because like you said, we're a part of a few organizations, and one of my criticisms is that uh, you know, it it's not reflective of um of millennials and Gen X and Gen Z and everybody that's coming, that's coming up.

SPEAKER_03 19:04

Most of the organizations are having difficulty attracting um younger members, and they're having a problem attracting younger members, not only because of what it is that we are talking about in terms of programming across the board, but the interests of younger members. So, how do you marry the two? How do you bring in younger members? How do you have entertainment that younger generations enjoy, but also that it's respect that has a certain amount of respectability in terms of the lyrics because you're not interested in going to see uh I'll say the OJs.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Now maybe go see the OJs. You know what? Maybe like give an option. Okay. You know, uh, or OJs at seven and trick daddy at 10. Okay, you know for the party. Yes. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, so you can respect everybody's wishes and you give an option.

SPEAKER_03 19:57

And then you wouldn't have to get up and leave.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Yeah, then folks would have to so wow. Just want to offer solutions to this problem. Because yeah, I I I I do hear you, and I I can see how it's um I can see how it's a challenge for organizations across the board to attract younger members. And I think you it's it's hard to talk to you about this because you do listen and you do respect uh the the wishes and the desires.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

And I appreciate talent too. I I appreciate good entertainment and talent. Uh it's not my cup of tea necessarily to have what you described in in terms of the performance and what I've seen, but I think you have a right to to do what you do as an artist. You have a right to be who you are.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

And I also think you probably have people in your circle, though, like in your age range, who don't feel that way. That would be very much like, absolutely not. We're not doing this. This is how it's always been done, so this is how it's going to be.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

I've had that's that's like I feel like we're the I have some friends that uh have not cared for some of Beyoncé's music, as talented as Queen Bee is. They just have not liked some of the lyrics in her sh her songs, and they have not enjoyed her performance. And the rest of us are just kind of looking. But it's to your point. It it just happens to be what you like, um how you I think enjoy entertainment and how open you can be to where we are today because it's so different in uh this time frame than it was many years ago.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Yeah, and also what's the goal? You know, like if your goal is to attract younger members, then you know, uh offer activities and interests that are uh interesting to them uh while still honoring the traditions that you want to honor. You know, they it doesn't have to be um one extreme or the other. There's a way to marry activities and programming and interests intergenerationally. It might take some additional conversations, it might take some um Openness on both sides. It does.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

It takes creativity. It takes a lot of work. It takes some understanding of the policies. There was a time that I did not allow alcohol to be advertised in certain day parts because I knew that that was the time frame for younger people. They're getting out of school, they're listening to the radio. So I had to, I had some rules and regulations, and people thought I was out of my mind. And I said, oh no, that doesn't make any sense. You're not going to take the audience that we have and then try to persuade and influence because that's what advertising is all about. And so, you know, there were a lot of conversations with the sales team.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Oh, I can only imagine. Well, I mean, you you would know the numbers of what would make sense. But I, you know, I'd be like, well, isn't a majority of the listeners kids? Because if like only 5% are kids and there are 21 plus, then you know.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

Yeah, no, but but um we had a lot of kids that it's on certain day parks. Um, but what I said was now they probably wouldn't work today because people are up all hours of the night. And it's true. Yeah, this is before cell phones. This is before young people walked around with their devices. Yeah, so it probably wouldn't make any difference now. It could be nine o'clock in the morning and there could be an advertisement. Well, you know, anyway, that's uh a part of the world that we live in. Uh, but you have to have your own standards. And I think our point here is you have to have your value systems and just be mindful of being able to attract younger people as well as older people.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Yeah, and it's possible, it does take work, but yeah, it's to everybody's benefit to be more open and then focus on what the true goal is. Right. I agree. Yeah. Did you see our girl Angela Reese in the news?

SPEAKER_03 23:50

I did, and you know, I was disappointed because you know, she uh has worked very hard to um to get her career to a certain point, but uh her her her team traded her.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

So you know, I when I was reading like the different articles, uh I think it was like a mutual decision, though. Well, yeah, she got so much more.

SPEAKER_03 24:15

Yes and no. I mean, she didn't want to leave, but after they fired her coach, the coach that she was so excited uh to work with and the coach who had been in her corner, I mean they had they had a losing season. Um, but um she's not gonna be with the uh the Atlanta Dreams and she was with the Chicago, Chicago Sky. Yeah, yeah, Chicago Sky. And and so um, but what you're saying is that she's happy now.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

But what she had said before when she was suspended, you you knew she was suspended because she was like, I, you know, in so many words, like, I need help. Like, we need better players. The owners need to invest in. Yeah, the owners need to invest. She was like, Perhaps that wasn't the best frame framing for how I was feeling at the time. I think you can really tell your owners how they need to spend their money, but it's uh well, I mean, all feedback is necessary, particularly when you're talking to your star players. Well, this is the dialogue I I feel like we see in the NBA all the time. They're not shy about saying, hey, you want me to be here, then you know, I need a team that's gonna get me to where it is I want to go, or I will go to a team that will.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Well, and and um she has, but see, because of the um the WNBA's new contract, she was able to get more money too. So even if even if she had stayed with um with the Chicago um sky, she would have had her contract would have been different for this year, but she will be happier, I think, because she'll be in another place. And I think it's gonna really increase ticket sales in Atlanta because people want to see her play. She's one of the star players on the WNBA.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Yeah, on the court and off the court. I love Atlanta for her. And she, as a result of this trade, 460% increase in her salary. How much? You heard me right. 400 is 460. And go to Angel Reese. Ticket sales have already really went up by 15%. Wait a minute. I'm sorry, not 50%, like 15x. 15 times more ticket sales already. You're talking about sports. Oh my goodness. It's because of Angel Reese. Also, aka, one of my favorite Victoria's Secret models. Okay, that's right. That's right. She goes on. Like her powerful brand, not just on the court, but off the court. Yes, yeah. Which is also the time that we're in. Right. It's also how she primarily makes her money. Yeah. Um, so yes, I love watching her.

SPEAKER_03 26:52

I love it. I I loved watching her in uh in college and then when she went to the WNBA, and okay, that's good. And good for you. Thank you. Mommy is proud. Yeah, I will take it. Uh thanks to Angel Reese. So yeah. Okay. Well, we wish her well uh in her new hometown, and we really appreciate the fact that she's not only um speaking her voice, but she's going to show them how to play basketball in Atlanta as well. So we like to hear what uh our audience has too. What do you think about this? Oh, yeah, about the trade. You know, the trade from Chicago to Atlanta and how she was treated.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

It would be good to hear comments from the I'd love to hear more about that for sure. Speaking of basketball players, uh-huh. Um, you watched a documentary.

SPEAKER_03 27:42

I did. I watched um the documentary um with the basketball player uh Lamar Odin. And uh I I by accident actually, but Lord, I didn't mean to. I did not, but then I I I I saw it, it was being promoted, and I had seen him on um a couple of the talk shows, and so I thought, oh, that's why they're they're talking about this. So I watched it, but oh my goodness. What are your thoughts? Um, I was not impressed by the documentary itself. Now I content I I I want to talk a little bit to you about, but I felt like uh Netflix didn't really invest in this particular documentary in in terms of production quality. I felt like it was one of the low budget uh documentaries. Um I also um I was looking at the beginning of it and I was so confused. Um my uh niece was there and and she's saying, Why are you looking at the TV like that? And I said, I thought this was about Lamar Odom, and I'm trying to figure out what it what it is. These were scenes of the brothels that I wasn't making the connection. There are times when um being at the age I am that I just get a little bit confused at what I'm seeing, and I'm thinking, what does this have to do with the um the whole story a lot? Well, yes, I I and then I began well I remember a big part of his story. Um so what do you know about uh about him?

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Um I know him again through his experience with Chloe Kardashian, and who I think was generous in giving her time. Actually, I I won't say it was generous because I do think that it was it might have been an agreement because he popped up on one of their episodes of The Kardashian. So I think it was more like if you do this, I'll do that. Uh but I know him to be a just like a really terrible husband, honestly. And I didn't watch the documentary, but I have seen a lot of interviews. Um, I shouldn't say a lot. I've seen some interviews and a lot of dialogue around it. Um, I she loved him. And uh I don't know that I think that his actions or even his commentary today reflect that he like liked or even loved her at all, which I find to be really, really sad.

SPEAKER_03 30:08

I think what he realized in in life um as he's now growing older and had several health conditions, he had um several heart attacks. Well, crap will do that to you. Well, yes, he he um and so um he literally almost came back from death. And and so again, thanks to his ex-wife because strokes, yes, his father wanted to take him off life support. And that was a part of the the documentary, yeah. They wanted to take him off of life support, and um, and Chloe said no. And he was in the hospital for like three months, and she was with him, and she stayed there's a husband to have put her through all the things. What he said um is that he was uh a terrible husband. He he indicated that he wanted the life that uh Chloe had. That's why he loved her. They they dated for 30 days and then got married. She was 24. Okay. She was young. Yeah, she was young. And um, I don't know how old he is. At your point, he um he did not treat her well at all. And she knew what was going on at some per at some time. Yeah, but um, but she loved him, so she was, I think, hoping that he would go through this. And um kudos to his fellow MBA players because his teammates were trying their best to help him and to give him good advice and not cover for him, but to try to get him to be, you know, his best self. I mean, they he they really were trying to, but um, from Kobe to you know to uh to Michael, the rest of them are trying their best to help him out, but he just wouldn't listen. So it had to go through the near-death experience before he then decided that he was going to now try to turn his life around. And that's what he said he wants to do. Um, he wants to turn his life around. Um, he's gonna go back to school, he's gonna get a degree, he wants to coach college ball.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

I understand. Do you believe him? Now again, I didn't watch, excuse me, I didn't watch the documentary. However, from what I've heard, he didn't take a lot of accountability.

SPEAKER_03 32:19

No, for which his childhood he talked, you know, this is where you put the blame on somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Yes, which I've heard is very dangerous for a drug addict. Well, it is, but accountability is one of those number one things that needs to happen. It is.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

It it's sort of like in uh in AA or OA or alcoholics, and I'm the first thing you have to do is you have to say, you know, I am an alcoholic or I am a gambler, whatever the the scenario is. So ownership is is first and foremost. And then you have to go through the therapy and the um all of that. You asked me, do I believe him? I don't know. I'm I'm watching him. Um, I think what he can do now is he can talk about it in a way that he was not able to talk about it before. But childhood matters as well. I I like to give people grace, and I like to say that if you've learned your lesson and God has given you another chance, then try to do better and be better. At the end of the documentary, did he say, I'm ready to go party and get up?

SPEAKER_01 33:18

Well, he wanted to go live because he had been well, because he hadn't been able to live his life.

SPEAKER_03 33:25

So but he hadn't been able to live his life? Well, not for a while because he'd been ill. So, you know, it's coming back because he had to learn how to go through. Okay, okay. I know I'm giving him more grace. But I will I will tell you, uh my sadness is that he for him and for individuals who go through this have to do with the fact you go through your life and you get another chance. You get another chance, and if you decide to really screw it up yet again, then shame on you, because you know, um, it's on you. It's not on anybody else, it's not on mom or dad or sister or brother or manager or players and bosses and the money you weren't making. It's on you.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

Yeah, I uh you know I'm all for the accountability of it all. So, yes, I I uh I agree with that. And I am disappointed in what I've heard people say in terms of his commentary around perhaps a lack of accountability to the role uh that he played in his own decisions and his own addiction. Um, and then even to to tell the story over the course of the documentary and to then leave it to say I'm going to go uh party or go to Vegas or whatever it whatever it was that he said that's just kind of like well, like was anything learned? Another part that I heard about that really kind of bothered me, because again, albeit for me to give like y'all got me out here defending the Kardashians, which is not something that I that I'm very proud of. But the um she saved his life on multiple occasions. She did. He was like, No, it was God that saved me, not her. And yes, God saves us all. God is the reason we open our eyes, and God is the reason we are all here. We believe that we are people of faith.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

However, sir, so you want him to say, you know what, you would not be here if it wasn't for her.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

I want him to be honest about the role that various people have played in his life thus far, and if there has been negative harm and impact to be able to talk about that, own up to it, own up to it as well. Even I'm now even reflecting back onto him going to her house, and this was the first time they had seen each other in a really long time. Yes. Um, he was like three or four hours late or something ridiculous. Yes. And so even in that like conversation, that back and forth, I was like, what is this?

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Well, they had not seen each other in uh in quite a while. And I know he was uncomfortable, and I think somebody else probably set that up. I'm thinking, you know, her managers or his managers or whatever set it up because they thought it would either be good television. Okay, see I didn't entertain. I didn't even know. I didn't I didn't even know that, but I I uh, you know, that that's the um the uncomfortable moments. Um, but I also watched, and and this is what you're hearing, I was watching some of the uh the interviews with his children and uh his children who had difficulties when they were young because he wasn't around. And then of course they had difficulties when um their father became uh famous, and then with all the things that they know that their father was involved in, and yet now what they're being hopeful is that he's a better man. And so they're gonna give him that. Okay. And and so I I understand the fact of a child saying, you know, at least I still have my dad here, and I know my dad. And um and they had a really good, strong mother because uh the woman that uh Lamar was with before Chloe uh actually resembled her resembled her, uh, and they went to high school together. And uh but he also this is interesting because he could play basketball, they just gave him a break. People gave him a break. He would fail classes and they would pass in and everything. That's not giving somebody a break. No, but that's setting them up for failure. That's setting them up for failure. So that's what you hear in me saying, you know, I'll give him some grace, I'll pray for him, and and uh don't know the man, never met the man, but I just I pray that he takes advantage of the fact that he has gotten through all the the heart attacks and the strokes and all of that. They talk about a second chance, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Um, two things that reminds me of uh that that scene in Remember the Titans where the uh or Denzel Washington was was talking to the white coach, and the white coach was giving the black kids breaks because he felt bad or whatever. And so Washington was like, You cannot do that, you are crippling them, yes, and you're crippling them for life.

SPEAKER_03 38:23

You're crippling them for life.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

That is the powerful scene. It was a very powerful scene. Um, but then also I've yeah, okay. So I will then soften, I will give a little grace for the for the children. For the children. For the children, yes, yes, yes. I hope that they get what it is they need from their parents.

SPEAKER_03 38:39

Not a lot of adult children have a chance to be able to see their parents um in a way that is like human beings, looking at their weaknesses, looking at all of their failures, and then seeing them able to come out of it because that's a powerful lesson too. Because everybody goes through something. Sure. Everybody goes through something.

SPEAKER_01 39:00

Well, probably many things.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

So you know if you're fortunate to live a long time. So if you can if you can see your your parent get through it and then become better on the other side, yeah, then it helps you and it helps your children. Yeah, I agree with that without having the all of the generational curses that people talk about as well. So it's good.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

Um I'm not gonna keep him in my thoughts and prayers, but I will have hope, you know, for the kids. For the children, it's important.

SPEAKER_03 39:32

People, um, yeah, I can, you know, I'm prayerful.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

So did you see um the commentary around our girl Coco Golf?

SPEAKER_03 39:41

Oh, Coco, yes, I did. I actually saw a um, I don't know if it was TikTok or Instagram, where she was pouring her heart out about how people had responded to a TV or a digital ad. Yeah. Um, because she's a model and they were talking about how she looked. They were talking about her skin and her makeup, and they were talking about her hair, because you know, the hair is always a thing. Always a thing um with uh with African Americans. And but she was really pouring her heart out. You talk about me giving somebody grace. I felt I felt like this is my child who has been hurt deeply because people have not been kind to her with everything that she's accomplished, with everything that she's been through. They were not kind to her.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

So I I did a deeper dive because this kept coming up, and I'm like, what is um and really what was coming up for me was the people pouring out their support for her uh because of how uh I think because of her reaction and being able to see how impacted she was by the backlash that she had received from this particular digital ad campaign. So what happened? What what what okay? So yes, and so I did a deeper talk. I was like, what was happening? So she she is a brand ambassador for a fashion brand called Mew Mew. Okay. Okay. And now she didn't go to a studio. This wasn't a traditional model shoot where you have your hair and your makeup and everything done. Okay. Um, she decided to shoot this particular ad or was asked to shoot this this particular ad. She just did it on her phone. She did it with the clothes that she was wearing before she was going out later. And so she did say that the aesthetic was minimalist because she didn't have she didn't have on a ton of makeup. She wasn't, her face was a meet, you know, type thing. And her hair was just pulled back. Right. Um, and folks, some folks were, or I guess a lot of folks, I don't know, because it wasn't the I had to go digging for the backlash. Most of my feed was was full of support for her. But uh, they were just saying that this is a really poor uh they that they did her dirty, that she should look better. Why wasn't she styled? Why does her hair look like that?

SPEAKER_03 42:04

It was not representative of the Coco Golf that they are used to seeing in terms of the model or in terms of how she presents herself or something about the product. Because when she was talking, she was saying that models, you know, we get all kinds of requests to do all kinds of things, but this was not representative of the Coco Golf they were that they should have been doing.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Yeah, they were saying that her image looked like Ruby Bridges and that she was looking very civil. She looks like somebody else has civil rights. But I did laugh at that.

SPEAKER_03 42:37

But you know, I I you know my response that that's a cute little photograph of Ruby Bridge. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Right, no, yeah, she right.

SPEAKER_03 42:46

Um depending on what you're promoting, though, you know, I don't know if it's for those of you who have no idea who Ruby Bridge is, I'll just like look it up. Yeah, there you go. Educate yourself, educate yourself. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 42:56

Um I I initially felt really, really and actually I still do feel really bad. And I I can understand, I can yet not even imagine based on the scale that she is, the amount of backlash and the comments. And she had she had taken a break from social media. So she wasn't even on social media at all for the past few months and specifically got back on to address the backlash that she had started to receive. And uh we get some backlash and some feedback and and uh to be able to take that on the scale that she has, it would be really, really hurtful. And what you hear from a lot of people, a lot of women in particular, they're like, I don't even look at the comments, I don't even engage, like I don't uh do that. And I think it's in part because it it can be so, so negative.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

But uh the more mature entertainers say that if you if you pay attention to those comments, it will impact what you do and how you go about doing it. And so you have to be able to not only take the positive. But take the negative. But that's a part of being out in the public eye. Yeah, that's true. It's true. Yeah. So it is. I know that you had a comment that someone said that you bleached your skin or something. You said, Oh, mommy, look at this. And I thought, you know. Oh, yeah. Well, I show you the crazy stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm thinking, no, that's the result of mom and dad. This is just what I look like. Yeah, that's exactly so.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

Um I think that I I felt bad that she had to explain why she looked the way that she looked in the campaign. I also can understand folks' kind of shock. If your expectation is that you were going to show up like you're on the, like you're on the uh front of a cover of a magazine, and you don't, then it's questioning. Because people were like, they need to get stylists that know how to do black hair. And that's probably true, you know, in in many circumstances, but that wasn't what this was. Um, and so I do just think it's like a there's probably a big lack of understanding about the difference between a model and a brand ambassador, and uh what different modeling shoots require. Are you doing your own makeup or are they actually doing it on set? It's like a deeper dive than that. So I think a lot of it maybe came from just obviously, yes, racism and sexism, but also just probably a lack of understanding of the industry.

SPEAKER_03 45:25

Well, I think you'd know something about that because you get a lot of requests for lots of different things based on some things that you're involved in and that you do. But I again I go back to when I was watching her comments, uh, it just made me think that this impacted her. It could impact her her tennis game because it just seemed that she really doesn't taking uh heart. Yeah, and so she said, I'm getting ready now to go and and do some uh some golf games, excuse me, golf games, some tennis games on the clay courts. And so, you know, wish me well. And I thought, well, yes, we all wish you well.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

So Yeah, we did, yes, we we we love you. We support you. You looked great. Keep doing the minimalist. You don't have to put on makeup, you don't have to do whatever that's looked back. I've actually gotten like real ongoing because when I put my hair back into a ponytail, my hair looks exactly like her hair did in that campaign. And people are like, well, can you put a little water on it? Can you just like put some gel on it? And I'm like, no, I don't want to gel down my hair, you know.

SPEAKER_03 46:23

I you know, I like what she said was I have um I have 4C hair, and I choose not to slick it back so much that it can be damaging to my hair. She was explaining all of these things, and I'm thinking, why do you feel the need to do that? Yeah, you're cocoa cough, sweetie.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Come on. Yeah, because people don't know. I choose not to know.

SPEAKER_03 46:42

They choose not to know.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

So we love you and we support you. As so many others do. That's right. Absolutely. So go do feel better.

SPEAKER_03 46:51

Go do your thing and feel better.

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Ignore the haters. Because if they uh if they were doing what is that saying? It's like nobody that's doing better than you is truly like in the comments criticizing you. That's not that's not how this works.

SPEAKER_03 47:07

Well, you know what what uh my ma would say in this rose represents um um Donica's grandmother, but my my mother, my mother Rosa, and what she would always say to me is don't compare yourself to other people, compare yourself to you. And there'll be good days and there'll be more challenging days, but there'll be people who are much more beautiful at a given time, but there'll be people who are not as attractive. But what you need to focus in on is who you are, what you are, what you represent. That's where your beauty comes out. Yeah. And so I I really took that to heart, being in the public eye, for my entire professional career. So I appreciated my mother's advice because I'm telling you back in the day, and this is before social media, so they had to seek me out to be able to be as mean and cruel and everything from um the gap in my teeth to the who does your hair. So, you know, whatever. But you know, we make it through.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

We make it through as women have to do, as we have to do.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

Yeah, yeah. So that's good. But it's been uh it's been an exciting time anyway, in spite of all the challenges um that people are having.

SPEAKER_01 48:08

Oh, yeah, yeah. So um very much so. And we are actually just getting back from a trip. We were in Florida um for part one of my 40th birthday celebration. And so um, you and some of my other family members, uh, female, it was a girls' trip. Girls came together and they just did a fantastic job. So thank you again for helping me bring in my fourth decade on this planet in the way in which I wanted to. And it was more relaxing, more chill. It was funny because I remember you saying with some of my cousins, you were like, oh, well, uh, we're you know, we're staying at a villa a little bit outside, we're not staying in downtown. So you guys, I don't know if you'll be able to like go out and party. And I was like, I'm at the age now where we we party in the bed. I'm not at at any risk of of feeling like, oh my gosh, it's 11 p.m. I want to go out. I'm like, no, it's 11 p.m. I should be asleep.

SPEAKER_03 49:03

Well, that's what um your sister said as well. And uh and my niece and she said, Oh no, um, you know, they call me Aunt Real Road. Aunt Real Road, this this was perfect in this chill environment. So uh I wanted you to be able to experience this aspect of your birthday celebration in the way that you wanted to. I wanted you to be able to move into this next decade with uh the kind of zest and the things that were most important to you. You should show your shirt a little bit for those who are on video because I mean it it's front and back. Oh, yeah, but that's right, yeah. For the folks aren't watching, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:36

It's my name and my birthday, and then there's a whole thing on the back that's the back about the just the 40 going into the 40th chapter. 40th chapter, and uh I did like a little research as we do. I'm like, what does like this truly mean? And uh the 40s is the power decade for women. Yes. I was like, oh, let's get into it about that.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

Yeah, that's good. Well, I experienced uh a lot of what I'm calling moon joy. Okay, and uh moon joy is uh a term that NASA has been sharing with the world, and it has to do with the way our astronauts have felt when they are not only uh in space but having an an opportunity to be someplace that other people have not been. And so our astronauts who just came back from the various excursions that they were on and when they were on the dark side of the moon, four people on earth have been able to see that aspect of the moon and the earth. And they felt such exhilaration, they felt such excitement, they felt such uniqueness that they experienced joy beyond those things that normally occur in life, and that's moon joy watching you go into this next decade of your life, watching you made me feel what I think is moon joy. Oh, that's very sweet. I I thank you for being the kind of daughter that that you are, and I thank you for the love that you and your husband have shown to me at this time in my life, because it's uh not always easy to share in experiences with um individuals who are not necessarily intergenerational in terms of their understanding. So uh God bless you as you move through these next uh many, many, many years of your life. So thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. And we want to hear from you. We'd like for you to subscribe, like, love.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

I don't know if there's a love button, but but yes, continue to comment and engage. Uh, we we love having you here on this couch with us, and we look forward to seeing you next week, week and live a life you love. Bye-bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

She's got wisdom, she's got sex, she's got questions, she's got class, two voices can lie like waves in the same daughter, that's the key, always a mother and daughter check.