The Justin Fairfax Case, Dave Chappelle in Ohio & Tia Mowry Backlash - What’s Really Going On?

From the Justin Fairfax tragedy to Dave Chappelle’s investment in Ohio, this episode explores accountability, community, and the stories shaping culture right now.

In this episode of Raised by Her, we begin with the devastating case involving Justin Fairfax, examining the broader conversation around domestic violence and why it’s critical to center the true victim, Dr. Serena Fairfax—while also challenging media narratives, including commentary from Roland Martin.

We then shift to Dave Chappelle and his $15M investment in Yellow Springs, Ohio, including support for WYSO and his ties to Antioch College—and what it means for local culture and community preservation.

The conversation continues with a look at Tia Mowry’s dating life and the public reaction, followed by insights from Sheinelle Jones’ book Through Mom’s Eyes, featuring parenting perspectives from Lucille O'Neal and Cynthia Germanotta.

This episode is a layered conversation on accountability, media framing, cultural investment, and the personal growth that comes with entering a new decade.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – How to support the podcast
 • 00:47 – Caitlin Clark vs. Angel Reese: star power vs. stats
 • 03:14 – The Justin Fairfax case: centering the victim
 • 10:25 – Accountability vs. “mental health” narratives
 • 18:51 – Suicide prevention resources (988)
 • 19:46 – Dave Chappelle’s $15M investment in Ohio
 • 21:40 – WYSO & Antioch College’s legacy
 • 28:18 – Tia Mowry dating backlash explained
 • 36:51 – Through Mom’s Eyes + parenting insights
• 38:52 – Steph Curry’s upbringing & discipline
• 41:08 – Lady Gaga, talent & “mom guilt”
• 43:46 – Entering a new decade: reflections at 40

🎤 New episodes every week. Honest conversations between mother and daughter on family, womanhood, and navigating life across generations.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Thank you so much for joining us on the Raise by Her podcast. It really helps us out. If you download, subscribe, like, and love. And also please leave us a review. Welcome back to Raise by Her. Hello there. Hi, how are you doing? I'm great.

SPEAKER_03 0:27

Always. Always great. You know, every day is a good day. Some days are just better than others. And that's something you've been saying for a long time. I because I truly believe that even on the worst days, I think I'm alive, I'm well, I feel good, you know, things are things are okay because they can always be worse.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Operating gratitude, huh? Absolutely. Um, okay, so our episode last week got a lot of great discussion around our Angel Reese discussion. And so that discussion was focused on kind of on the court stats versus star power. So I wanted to read to you some of the comments that we got. I like them. Um within that conversation. Okay. So again, I won't read the names because I probably can't even pronounce most of these people's social media names. Um, but one person's perspective was stars happen to have really good stats and are fun to watch in person. It's really helpful to have both. It's nice. Yeah, I agree. The star power plus the encouragement excellence is great. Right. Another person said that the people who only look at box scores don't buy tickets and they don't watch on TV. If you want to grow the game, you have to give the people who watch a reason. And the reason is the players. The players and their star power. I think it's the stats were more important than the star power. So, like I said, lots of lots of discussion back and forth, and lots of people had uh different opinions, which I think is great. And then um another person said Um, when Caitlin's shooting 3% from three or struggling with turnovers, all of a sudden her stats don't matter. Her star power is more than enough.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Angel stats are great. See, that really is the other side of the conversation. So it has to do with what's going on on the court. I think it's sometimes hard for the men to appreciate uh the star power and the stats that women absolutely have in the game today. So it's kind of nice to be able to have the debate back and forth. It is, yes, yes, we appreciate a debate.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Yeah, um, yes, men have a lot of opinions in our comments. Yes, and we do appreciate the comments. So please continue. You're like a podcast for all the cover for all of us.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

Yes, yes. So um, please continue making comments and let us know what you think. And it helps us to be able to plan for the future as well. This is true. This is true. It's been a challenging week in some areas for some people.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yeah, my gosh. I mean, so do you want to start off this particular topic or would you like me to? Well, you can. I can. Well, okay, so I of course saw the news, like so many of us, about the murder suicide of the former lieutenant governor of Virginia, Justin Fairfax. And I saw it and I was like, oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. And uh, you know, blessings to kind of all those involved and kind of went on um with my day. However, a few days later, I woke up to social media uh storm around some comments that Roland Martin had made. And I was like, oh no, why is he trending? Um, and he was framing this murder suicide as a mental health crisis that Justin was going through. And so I watched a part of his discussion around this in the platform. Honestly, I couldn't get too much through it because I just disagree. So um I just disagree. Um, but before we jump into it, can I actually go ahead and respond? But then I do want to honor the true my belief who is the true victim, actually, not even my belief, the true victim of this, which is his his wife. Serena.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Serena, yeah. Serena Fairfax. Uh I just wanted to make sure we had some context around this because I would think most people may have uh heard about this, but some people may not have. Okay. So um the former lieutenant governor um of the state of uh Virginia, um who was a rising, shining star in the whole political arena. The Democratic Party had some real challenges in terms of his relationships, uh, in terms of his uh run for uh governor, and he began to, I think, have difficulty handling the reality of his world when it started to really decave. And um two women accused him of uh sexual harassment and assault and rape. And yes, and so uh that he believed was um what began the downfall of his um his political rising star. And he was the kind of candidate that people were putting a lot of hope in for the future in the uh I think in 2018, 2019 uh and the early 2020s, he had been pretty successful up until that time. He is uh he was a lawyer and he was a quite successful lawyer, and his wife was a dentist, and they were uh a power couple in in their community. And so they had two children who are now teenagers, and so they had been married for for quite a while. But after the alleged assaults took place, that was the beginning he felt of his downturn. So go ahead, you can say the comments. And and Roland Martin, by the way, is a um an African-American male journalist who's been around for a number of years, um, highly opinionated, uh, well connected in terms of uh particularly black news, but also he was formerly on CNN. So uh the news media had has uh some strong credentials.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yes, he does. I agree with that for sure. And he And is dedicated to platforming the African-American perspective, which I appreciate.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

Yes. So now you can go ahead and and and talk about what it is that your reaction is. I'll just jump right into it. You know, well, I know that because it it's it is very disturbing. It's it's very disturbing because the fact that this man killed his wife and then killed himself.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

So I just wanted to start the the conversation with highlighting what friends and family have said about her, and that she was a very uh DIY mother, uh do-it-yourself mother. So she contributed to building the pool in their backyard and loved um doing all the activities with the kids. And she was a kind person who loved running and loved yoga and was very passionate about growing her dental practice, and her employees really had a lot of really positive things to say about her, and her patients really loved her, and she was just a beloved member of both her family and her community. And so, so much of what I have had difficulty with in this broader discussion is that Justin has been centered as the victim. We'll get into that in a second. And I'm like, he's not the victim here. The uh his wife, who was the one that was murdered by him, is the victim here. To add some additional uh uh facts to the context that that you gave, um, yet they had been married for 14 years and they were in the midst of a divorce. So she had initiated a divorce um a few years ago, and um they had several challenges in their marriage. As after 14 years of marriage, you know, you go through ups and downs, uh, one of which was these allegations of sexual assault that uh two women had uh alleged against him. And it is being reported that he's really spent a lot of time trying to rebuild his reputation after that. A part of the challenge in that, though, was that there was a lot of credibility to those allegations.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

And so although he was not criminally uh charged in or convicted, I guess I should say. Um that's true. Yes, yes, that's true. And so he spent a lot of time uh trying to clear his name, if you will, but uh it didn't happen. He wasn't able to clear his name, even though these uh alleged charges took place. And to your point, uh there appeared to be credibility. And the first woman wished that she had spoken out sooner because she really felt guilty that she did not speak out sooner because she felt that maybe then the second uh occurrence may not have happened if if she had come to the forefront early on.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Yeah. Um again, I think that you you do the best you can, Naga. That's a really hard thing to go through and then try to put the pressure on yourself to talk about it when women so often are not believed, and there's a whole you know, you then deal with your own reputation and what you have to go through when you do uh report these things. So I hope that she's able to give herself some grace um as, you know, and not kind of blame herself for the second occurrence because again, that's not on her. No, that would be on the the person who does the actions. Absolutely. Uh my challenge with Roland Martin's perspective was that he was framing this as a mental health crisis and saying that um, you know, we really have to just pour into our men. And he had various psychologists and psychiatrists on his platform that were talking about mental health, particularly as it pertains to black men and what it's like for men to go through a divorce and um how hard it is when you have downfalls in your career. And I was just like, this isn't okay, all right. Um the best way, in my opinion, to not have your career crippled from sexual assault allegations is to not sexually assault. That's true. Okay, you know, that is a true thing. Don't do it in high school, don't do it in college, don't do it as an adult, don't do it when you're old, don't do it when you're young. Just don't do it. Be yes, behave better towards women always. And then you can just take that off of your plate completely.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

What I found rather um interesting about this whole conversation on Roland Martin's program, he had one of, excuse me, one of Justin Fairfax's dear friends who um was is an author uh and she's a female. Her name is Sophia Nelson, and she put out on the internet uh a seven-minute video talking about her friend. Um, she'd actually talked to him a few days before this particular uh murder suicide took took place, and she said people around him knew that he was having mental challenges. Yes, they did. Yep. And the fact that on um on social media, a lot of people are saying, well, why didn't his friends get him help? They tried. And well, and uh, and she said we we all and those of us who knew really encouraged him to get some help for years. And the fact that uh he was also accused of having uh an alcohol um problem. And one of the reasons why his wife was divorcing him is because the fact that uh what she saw over the years was behavior that became completely and totally detrimental to their family unit. And so he was uh supposed to move out of the home. He had been still living in the home for the time when this occurred, but he had, I think, uh a week or two at the end of April, he was supposed to be moving out. And I think that that's a part of what really put him over the edge, if you will. And you and you talk about because he refused help. Because he refused help. And because I'm not sure he was admitting to himself how challenged he was mentally. I and how how this was his fault. Right, or the role he played in the situation he found himself in. Right. Yes, yes, and in um the uh clips that I saw, it had speeches where he was talking about uh social justice and speeches where he was talking about uh the difficulties that um African Americans and men have in the world of politics, and although he had been able to rise above those, uh and so you have to be able to take responsibility for your own actions. So I I so agree with you. It also just saddens me that if you are so unhappy or you have such problems, then uh don't blame that on anybody else. Make sure that you take responsibility yourself.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Being a politician is a choice. Like a part of in Roland Martin's um interviews and uh episode, they were talking about just the pressure that comes with being in public office. And in my mind, I'm like, if the pressure is too much at any point, make a different decision.

SPEAKER_03 14:19

I I watched a bit of the uh those discussions. You couldn't make it through either. Well, I was like, what is it? I was trying hard to understand the perspective of the psychiatrist and psychologists, and I was trying to understand why the the black men there would even allow the conversation to go towards mental health. I I I really was trying to understand there is a difference, and we have talked about the fact that black men don't always take care of themselves, black men don't always do what it is that they need to do. And we got some some interesting pushback on on those shows too when we would bring up the health. But it's not just black men or black women, it's just people not taking full responsibility for their actions, and then if you're caught, or when you're caught, then not trying to do what is necessary to get some help so you can move your life forward.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Everybody has ups and downs, everybody has uh challenges, but not everybody will move forward with taking the life of a loved one, the mother of your children while his children this occurred while his children were in the house, and um the son was the one that called 911 because he heard the multiple gunshots in his house, in his house, and also saw his mother, his mother's body, his mother, yes, yes. I mean, I talked about um uh Dr. Selena being the victim, but his children are obviously victims here too, and that trauma will never leave them. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

How selfish yes, the the children will this will impact their life, of course, um forever. So that that's pretty obvious. But also, a man who really would have loved his family, even if he was having his own problems, whatever they happen to be, would not decide to then take the the mother, the life of the mother of their children. And yet we know that uh abuse like this occurs a lot in in our country.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Yes, yes, it absolutely does. The court had uh through the divorce proceedings had quite a bit to say, actually, about um his role um in his family unit. And there there was definitely a reason that she was going to be able to stay in the home. There was a reason that she was the one that was going to be affording full custody of the children and everything. And yes, I mean, a part of uh my my challenge with the people who have come out that are closest with him, and I do understand that when something like this happens and you think that you know a person and it comes out of nowhere, you're like, what? I didn't even um see it coming. But then what happened happened. And and clearly that is a part of who this person was and is. And so you must acknowledge it. I mean, a part of my challenge here is that even on Roland Martin's platform, it was like, well, you know, he's my frat brother and we're in this organization together. He actually got backlash and that. I mean, um, his fraternity and the boulet, they were like, take those social media, like, take us out of it. Like, are you out of your mind? Right, right. We don't want to be a part of this discussion. We are not a part of this discussion. Like, yeah, and but but even to like put those associations out there, like, what does that have to do with the fact that this man murdered his wife?

SPEAKER_03 17:50

Roland Martin, I believe, was just having difficulty probably still dealing with the death of of his friend. And I I'm not giving him um any kind of uh, I'm not giving him any credit for standing up for what he felt like his friend needed, but I am saying that the dialogue that is taking place, and this was not just Roland Martin. I mean there are lots of comments. Uh and uh what we believe is that if you need some help, get some help. If you don't know you need some help, someone around you who loves you, you help them to get some help, but um get the problem solved because we're all going to have challenges, ups and downs, and uh murder suicide is uh it's totally unacceptable in these kinds of situations. Violence is never the answer. Violence is never the answer. For those uh of you who may be watching this podcast and may have some challenges going on um in your life, there is the American Association of Suicide Prevention. And if you want to call a crisis um hotline, the crisis uh hotline is 988. Um you can call 988 and you can get some assistance, or they say call 911 and let them know that you are in crisis. But uh our goal here was just to not only bring this topic to the forefront, but also to indicate you have to be honest and you got to take responsibility for your life.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Yeah. And to honor Dr. Selena.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

To honor Dr. Selena, an outstanding dentist, a wonderful mother. Um God bless her family, God bless the children, and um also um Justin Fairfax's family because they're all hurting in a way that will never ever be the same. Yep. So it's a it's a rough one. Yeah. So, you know, we got off the airplane uh last week and there was a lot of excitement uh in Dayton, Ohio when we were getting off the airplane.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Oh, yes, because uh Dave Chappelle have have brought some folks to Yellow Springs. Yeah, Yellow Springs, which is right down the road from from Dayton. And it is um whenever my people come in to Dayton, they're like, Yes, we're excited to see you, but also like tell me about the Chappelle situation. Can we like is there a concert going on? Is there a show? Can we like hand him or something?

SPEAKER_03 20:19

We've been to uh a few of his concerts and we've been to um Dave Chappelle's uh place. Uh Yellow Springs is about uh 25 miles from from Dayton where we are broadcasting from, and so or podcasting from, I guess I should say that was the old me.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

No, but he he was talking about broadcasting because of YWSO.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

Yes. Um this is the public broadcasting station in Dayton, Ohio, and he decided to invest uh $15 million to renovate the um one of the buildings in Yellow Springs and to move WISO to this particular location. Um an old building. He is now brought back to life, and he also has a production studio in this uh in this building, and he has been all over the media. Uh NPR has been interviewing him, and a lot of the special shows have been interviewing him, both podcast shows and broadcast shows, because they wanted to know why are you investing in Yellow Springs, Ohio? Again. Because he's been investing in Yellow Springs for a while. Yeah, he he grew up in New York, but um when his parents divorced, yeah, his father took a job at Antioch College, which is located in Yellow Springs. And so um he spent a lot of time in Yellow Springs, and he decided at some point when his father became ill that he was going to buy a small house in Yellow Springs and so he could be close to his dad. And he did, and that began. And he loved the community and yes, and he he talks about the fact that Yellow Springs not only embraced him, not because Because of his celebrity, because the the community could really care less. No. No. Actually, could you not with a celebrity? In fact, if you if you know anything about Antioch College, well, do you know anything about Antioch College? It's liberal arts. Very yeah, it's liberal arts, right? Um, Coretta Scott King um went to school there. Oh, I didn't remember that. Okay. Coretta Scott King went to school there, but it was uh it was actually the school that mommy wanted me to to to go to, the small liberal arts college in Ohio. Um it had a reputation at that particular uh time back in the late 90s, um in 19, excuse me, when I would graduated in 1969. That's a few years ago. Right, right. It had a reputation of being not only a liberal liberal arts college, but um being uh highly selective and a school that promoted learning, not from the standpoint of the grades that you were receiving, but from the lessons that you were learning from life. And it was uh it's a great school.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

That's such a funny question that I don't feel like Antioch's so liberal. Do they even give out grades? They didn't no, they didn't at the time.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

It was past fail.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

And and so a lot of people were were were um, I think, impressed by by that. Spellman wasn't past fail. So it spellman was not past fail. Well, Denison wasn't past fail either, but uh I I chose not to go to uh to Antioch. It was too close to home for me. But I I I love the theater there, I loved the fact of of uh what the reputation of the school had um at that moment in time. But what David Chappelle said that um he really liked the way that the city of Yellow or the community of Yellow Springs um has been able to allow his family to be a family and he's been able to help the economy. And he just thinks that this is uh a really cool place.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Yeah, well, um I it was super exciting to get here because then um also Michelle Obama was here. I think they're filming an episode for her podcast, in my opinion. So we've just had, and he also just did another big fundraiser for um uh uh for the for the local station um with some of his other comedian friends. And so he's I feel like he's such a gem and he has persevered because as much as he talks about how he loves the community and how they love him, and I believe all that's true, it has not been an easy ride either. They have um made it challenging at times for him to do what it is he wants to do. And he talks about it freely, which I think is awesome, and he also talks about the fact that it can be hard for white people to have a black man come in and colonize community.

SPEAKER_03 24:47

So that's where the liberal part, that's where the liberal part probably helped uh helped a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Liberal, like what does liberal truly mean?

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Well, I don't know what are you really saying here. Yes, um the NPR's uh show Newsmakers did a long interview with him, and one of the questions that the reporter, her name uh was Michelle Martin, what what she did such a good job. Did you see that? Yeah, she's she was, yeah, it was a great interview, and she is excellent. And so she asks, not only how do you feel about investing in a public broadcasting station, but um, how do you feel today with the way that the world is in terms of politics and control and it in terms of wealthy people investing in media? How do you feel about that? And why would you do that not only in Yellow Springs, Ohio, but why would you do that today with all the controversy? And I loved his answer. As a comedian, it is an opportunity to be able to express my voice and my opinion. And it is I also it allows me the freedom to be who I am, but I didn't I didn't invest in WYSO so that I could have any kind of control based upon things going on today, because we don't really have any control based on the media today. We uh our voices are not always heard, but this allows me to do something that is beneficial for today and beneficial long term for the future. And I thought that was so good because the public television station, um, radio station was really in need. So he stepped up and he didn't see any conflict or controversy over choosing one or the other.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

So um, yes, the yeah, the NPRs and their affiliates and the public radio stations are definitely um in need of continuous investment based on the cuts that they're experiencing. So um shout out to him. She also asked him a really good question, think as a follow-up to that, um, investing anything into a media company, what um, you know, what's gonna happen when they might want to report on something that's right, um controversial for you. And um, he was very much like, you know, we'll cross that bridge when it gets there, which is honest because that's another piece. Again, she was just very good and like that. That's a good question to ask. She was um because it's also relevant, you know, like why why are you truly doing this? What especially today? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So check out the episode. Um, you know, if newsmakers, yeah, newsmakers.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

Um well, I I don't I don't want to end this with uh without saying that um your grandmother had a um special relationship. She was one of his grandmother's best friends, and so um both of them were about four feet eleven, and they were powerful women in their own right. So we say uh a shout out to uh um B Reed, that was his grandmother, as well as uh to your grandmother Rosa and their commonality that they had. They were both uh women in business, both entrepreneurs, uh, and both women who had uh a lot of voice and a lot of support for their children and grandchildren. Excellent. That's good, yeah. Excellent.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

So so it's good. This transition I'm about to do is so crazy. Okay, okay. So speaking of support for your children, okay. Have you seen um the news stories around Tia Maori? Uh a funny transition.

SPEAKER_03 28:24

Oh, well, that that that is when you talk about support for um for the children. Supporting our children. Um I think probably what's bothered me most, um, and because um I I really like Sister to Sister as a uh a wonderful TV show, and I've watched the twins grow from being so young um into young women uh on television. Uh so Tia and Tamara um were just wonderful young actresses, um, beautiful young women, and now they're adults and they have their own challenges. And because you brought up this particular um challenge, uh so Tia is dating one of the teachers, uh, one of her child's children's teachers. Um and that's caused some real controversy. She divorced um her husband after several years. And I remember when she got married, there was so much excitement, and she was so excited. And uh his uh her husband's name, um Corey was just so in love with her and so uh excited, as well as she was. But she talked about the fact that she hadn't dated a lot and that he was her first everything. And um, so there was true love there, but now she's at a time in her life that she wanted to she just didn't want to be married anymore. She was honest. It was after 14 years of marriage. And so she was single for a while, so you know she's single now, but then she's now branching out and dating someone.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

I like like you, I've watched them or I've grown up with them, if you if you will. Um, and so I I love their acting then, I love their acting now, and it's been interesting watching their different ventures. Um, and they both of them remain heavily criticized uh for their personal relationships. Um, now in part because they put it out there. Um and she was criticized when she decided to marry Corey, she was criticized when she decided to divorce Corey, she's criticized for her uh being single and being honest about what that feels like, and now she's being criticized for dating. Um, and I mean this this is a teacher that is at her child's school, but her child is not currently in their class. So, like he her child has transitioned out of the class.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

Yes, yes. Her child who is uh very interested in arts and culture, and um this particular gentleman, his name is Javon uh Armada, is 35 years old.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

She is that's right, she's also getting criticized because he's younger.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Yes, she's 47 years old, and um he's an artist, a designer, an educator, came out of uh Cleveland and then uh decided to move. Um, and they are they are quite an item. What was interesting in terms of social media, that uh his ex-girlfriend is the one that broke the story uh about them dating. And so there was a lot of conversation uh about that. My initial reaction was before I knew some of the background, uh, you know, it's not anybody's business. It's not, I mean, you know, we talk about girlfriend broke the story? Yes, he broke up, he broke up with her.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Oh, for Tia. Okay. So say if you're an ex, why do you care? But okay, if if okay, they were not.

SPEAKER_03 32:03

Because when the ex-girlfriend found out that he was dating, uh, and she had some shade there because she didn't say exactly who he was dating. I saw the I saw the I saw her post. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:17

So I didn't realize that the time frame was so short. I was like, why would you care if it's a deck? If I get it, if I get it.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

That's why she cared. And um, but social media is, I mean, it can be really cruel because I'm telling you, people had it's off the chain. Yeah, people had comments one way or the other. I'm wanting Tia to find her happy, yeah, find her joy and and move her life forward. That's always our goal for folks.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Well, yes, and um they've also been out, like her and this guy, they've been they've been photographed um kissing on the street and very much an item, so they're not hiding it, which is, I mean, again, your prerogative live your life. Yeah, they're both single, yeah, yeah. So but um I just criticisms across the board no matter what she does.

SPEAKER_03 33:02

What we really want to see is we want to see authenticity in in love, and we want to see people doing the things that they want to do in their adult-like manner. But dating your child's teacher can cause some problems for your kids too, especially when you're a celebrity like that and your dad and that whole situation. So um what do you think about her dating younger? I don't have any problem with that. Me either.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

I feel like it's a reasonable age.

SPEAKER_03 33:30

Yeah, I think I think I I think you know, when you become an adult, maybe not quite the age of who was it? Um, Cher and Her. You told me 60 years or yes, I I think that um that might be a little challenging. But I I you know, if you're two adults, then do your thing, be happy.

SPEAKER_01 33:51

Uh well, yes, I think in this scenario, I agree with that. Generally speaking, I think age gap relationships can be, and they're like very much a age gap relationships. There's whole reality shows around um age gap relationships. Maybe something we'll we'll dive into at some point. But um, I'm I hope that she finds her happy too, and I hope that she's not deterred by everybody's opinion about her her relationships throughout her life.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

Her relationships and um she's had several different shows and several different media posts about lots of different things. Um, both she and her sister. And did you ever watch the show that they did together as adults?

SPEAKER_01 34:28

I think it was on E, maybe. I don't know. No, I'm not familiar with that. Okay, that was a fascinating show and like their dynamics now as adults. Uh, I think it was just on for a few seasons, but that why I missed it because it was only on for a few seasons.

SPEAKER_03 34:41

Probably. Was this the show that I think I saw a social media post where this um where her sister called her selfish? Yes, oh yes. Yeah, I didn't see the show, but I I did see a clip on that, and I'm thinking, what is this? So okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

Yeah, well, I think doing a reality show, period, it can be uh fascinating when you're getting in uh a look into somebody's life. But uh, I mean her and Cora were so married at the time, so you kind of got a insight into their relationship, and then also her sister's relationship with her husband, which is also like a whole thing.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Yeah, that's another whole thing, that's another whole thing. That's another whole thing. Uh he has a whole different um political bin than and she stands by her man. So here we are. Okay, well, you know, um, from sister to sister and little girls um to grown women, we wish you well. We do, we genuinely do. No, we do. This is so funny. I was talking to a friend of mine uh last week and he was talking to Tim Reed, and uh he and Tim Reed are friends, and uh this this friend of mine is a uh is a producer, and he said that Tim is going to be traveling and doing some um some one-man shows, and and you know, Tim Reed played the father on Sister to Sister. And so um like I remember Jack A. Yeah, yeah. That's who Tim Tim Reed um and uh quite an accomplished uh actor, comedian in in some ways, um uh himself. And so he's doing a one-man show and he's gonna be traveling. Um so uh my friend was saying maybe he'll come to uh come to Ohio and it would be great to see.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Yeah, I want some VIP tickets.

SPEAKER_03 36:24

Well, you know, back in the day, um Daphne and Tim came to uh to to Dayton for one of our events, um, one of our uh women's conferences. And so they didn't know. I believe that you had everybody coming through Dayton. You really did. Well, I it was a cool thing. You know, it was a cool thing. Yeah, we had a lot of support from the record companies and the entertainment field. So, you know, I'm I feel blessed. I feel blessed. Uh so I I pulled this book out um to share with you because it's a brand new book called Through Mom's Eyes and because from the woman on the Today Show? Yes, yes, from Chanel Jones. And these are simple words of wisdom from mothers who raised extraordinary humans. And Chanel Jones um is known for having uh not only a reporter with a delightful personality, but she's also known for being able to truly dive into motherhood with a passion. And so this is her tribute to her mother, her grandmother, but also to all the mothers of the world. And she wanted to write this book. She had a um small broadcast or small, she had a broadcast uh series that she had a chance to interview the mothers of famous people. And so she was doing these short interviews, and someone said to her, you know, you could probably write a book about that because that would be something that would be interesting. So she interviewed the mother of um Serena Venus, and she interviewed Stephen Curry's mother, and uh she interviewed uh just a lot of women who raised famous uh stars or people who were very successful. And one of the questions she asked the moms is at what age did you uh see your child having some special talents? And at what age do you did you realize that there was something maybe a little bit different about the way that your son or daughter was acting or reacting at that particular age? And so she was able, the mothers were able to share their words of wisdom of their children being looked at uniquely different and being able to expose them to lots of different things. And then what were the rules in the household? So one of the funny stories that I that I really liked was the fact that Steph Curry's mother had uh a situation where he was not allowed to play um a basketball game in the eighth grade because he hadn't done his chores, and so Chanel said Steph had to do chores.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Well, yes, that's part of what is that part of? Well, I mean so that was a part of my parenting um experience with you. Like I was required to do chores, and then also um I was around the kids that didn't necessarily have to do chores, and fast forward several years later, there's a difference.

SPEAKER_03 39:26

And uh we do know that you were not happy doing those chores. Well, no, no, um, most kids aren't, but the the life lessons are are are good.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

I will say that when I got to college, I was happy to be able to do things because then I was in a dorm with with girls who hadn't necessarily um been taught. That was my first time being around uh people, I think, to that degree. Like, you know, we're all living in a dorm together, and they and some people just, you know, you don't know if you're not taught. You don't know if you're not taught. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:00

I mean, like, you know, that is so true. And and um the the funny part of uh I I think Chanel Jones's book and allowing the mothers to be able to talk about their children, you just see the very honest side of who they were. Um one of the points that that Chanel makes in the book is that um these mothers actually had vision boards for their children before the whole concept of a vision board was even something that was known. Oh, that's interesting. Because they go in there go into their room and they would have posters of like uh Steph would have posters on his wall of famous basketball players. And so understanding that those images and things that you see around you and how you embrace those kinds of activities.

SPEAKER_01 40:53

So they were doing a vision board with their children. Okay, I did when you first said it, I was like, uh-oh, were they doing vision boards like for I I I think I struggle with doing a vision board for somebody else. Oh no, no, right, no, with their child. Okay, there was collaborative. Okay, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_03 41:08

Yes, and um Lady Gaga is one of the her mother was one of the individuals that um was interviewed in the book, and and Lady Gaga's um mother was watching her daughter, they had a piano, and at some point, two, three years old, the daughter sat down and just started messing around and playing the piano, and she noticed that there was a tune there. Um, so the next year um she was watching, watching um the fact that Lady Gago was picking up on musical notes and other songs, and she recorded her and then she took that recording and showed it to someone, and they said, You know, you need to get her into music classes. And and so um, you know, she asked her daughter and she said, Well, no, I don't want to take but then she talked about what she would be able to do in those lessons. So the whole point is that there is something that we need to be able to see in our children and then encourage that, expose them to a lot of things, but pay attention to what those skill sets would be.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

When I saw a clip about um Chanel, said her name, Chanel's book. Yes, uh, she said that Lady Gaga's mom um, or like in their conversation, she talked a lot about overcoming mom guilt because she had to travel a ton. Um, and uh that it was really cathartic when um her daughter told her that she's really grateful for all the hard work that for being away and doing all the work that was needed to keep the household together. And then another clip um I saw was her talking to Matthew McConaughey's mother, and she was just talking about how she, out of all of the moms that she interviewed, uh there was just a lot of humor there. She was also the oldest mother that she interviewed, and she was like, Well, you you see it where you see where he gets it from in terms of like the um living life with an element of humor and the power of that in somebody's life.

SPEAKER_03 43:11

So the idea is to be able to understand the uniqueness of your children, to be able to bring out that bright shining star, but also to be able to support them with a certain amount of value systems in a world that seems to be lacking of values over and over again. And because we call this program Raised by Her, I want you to know that uh as I was reading through Schnell's book and I was thinking simple wisdom for mothers who raised extraordinary humans. I believe I've raised an extraordinary daughter. I'm very, very proud of you. You just had your fortieth birthday. I can't believe it's been forty years. Wow. Yeah. It does? Mm hmm. How did you celebrate this uh fortieth birthday?

SPEAKER_01 43:59

Uh So last weekend, um, a group of women from the family took me to uh island off of Florida and we drank champagne and we ate and we had camaraderie and we watched, we went on sunset cruises and we uh you know watched dolphins and it was it was the perfect, literally the perfect getaway. And then this past weekend, my husband took me shopping. Ah so we also uh yeah, so we shopped and we ate. There's a theme here. I just okay food, good food for the 40th birthday. Yeah, good food for food.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

Good food and excellent company. Well, thank you. And I I can honestly say that, and this is something my mother taught me is when it's a good time, you're supposed to celebrate it to the max. When it's your birthday, as you know, you're supposed to take that moment and be able to appreciate the life and love uh and support that that you've gotten. But also when you're uniquely you, just keep on being uniquely you because God has blessed us with you, you and your soul, your beauty and your presence and your wisdom. And as a grown woman of 40, mother can see that. And I just want you to know that I am so, so proud that I am just thankful to be able to say that I am your mother. Thank you. I'm proud to be your daughter.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

Thank you very much. And on that note, we will continue to live a life that we love. And thank you so much for joining us on this episode, and we will see you next week. Please subscribe, like, and love.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

Bye bye.

SPEAKER_00 45:50

She's got wisdom, she's got sex, she's got questions, she's got class, two voices collide like waves and see mom and daughter That's the key of the mother and daughter.