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Raised By Her Podcast
Raised By Her is a mother–daughter podcast exploring the lessons, love, and lived experiences passed down through generations. Hosts Ro Nita and Donnica share honest, intergenerational conversations about womanhood, identity, family, and leadership - and the wisdom we inherit (and sometimes challenge).
Part humor and all heart, Raised By Her is a reminder that every generation has something to teach—and that the stories that raise us continue to shape who we become.
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Raised By Her Podcast
BET Awards 2026, HBCU Housing Crisis, Danny Glover & Listener Letters
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Unpacking the 2026 BET Awards ratings surge, the hidden HBCU infrastructure crisis, and navigating modern corporate bias.
In this dynamic episode of Raised by Her, the mother-daughter duo dives into the shifting cultural narratives dominating pop culture and societal infrastructure. The conversation kicks off with a critical look at public feedback surrounding Oprah Winfrey’s viral speech regarding Whitney Houston, before pivoting to celebrate the massive, record-breaking viewership milestones achieved by the latest generation of creators at the BET Awards.
Transitioning into deeper systemic issues, they analyze the bittersweet reality of the historic enrollment boom at Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) and how decades of institutional underfunding have triggered a severe student housing shortage. Later, the co-hosts offer an intimate, vulnerable look at caregiving, legacy, and systemic healthcare hurdles following Danny Glover’s public Alzheimer's diagnosis. Finally, they close the episode by answering raw listener questions—tackling everything from the pitfalls of passive "text dating" to handling microaggressions, double standards, and professional isolation in corporate tech spaces.
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TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 The Oprah vs. Whitney Backlash Explained
04:34 Haters vs. Relevance: Defending Oprah's Legacy
06:03 The 2026 BET Awards: Smashed Ratings Records & Stats Breakdown
07:46 Passing the Mic: Dunski's Hosting Performance Debated
09:44 Tiana Taylor’s Emotional Icon Award Sweep
11:45 Lauryn Hill Receives the Living Legend Icon Award
13:37 Coming Realizations: College Support Systems & Spelman Memories
15:53 The Necessary Next Step: Giving Back Your Gifts
16:58 Introducing "Ask Us Anything" as a Weekly Segment
18:03 A Baby Boomer Learning Technology & Trusting a Coach
21:22 Wrapping Up: Why Celebrating Black Culture Remains Crucial
22:30 Danny Glover's Alzheimer's Diagnosis: Fighting the Stigma
23:42 Our Family’s Personal Battle with Dementia & Caregiving Stress
25:32 Analyzing Danny Glover's NBC Interview with Lester Holt
26:31 Overcoming Vulnerability Blocks in Black Families
29:04 The Doctor's Advice: Navigating the Fear Element of Alzheimer's
30:44 Extra Effort: Taking Grandmother to DC for a 90th Birthday
32:25 Essential Advice for Caregivers: Ask for Help
33:21 Celebrating Danny Glover's Extraordinary & Versatile Career
35:16 Debating His Most Iconic Roles: From Mister to Lethal Weapon
36:21 Typecasting Boundaries: How Black Actors Break the Mold
38:26 Final Thoughts on the Glover Family Support System
38:36 Mid-Episode Sponsor Break: Pure MD Summer Glow Specials
40:13 The Historic HBCU Enrollment Boom
41:01 The Infrastructure Clash: Underfunding vs. Housing Demands
42:11 Systemic Starvation & The DEI Retreat on Predominantly White Campuses
43:28 The $12 Billion Deficit: Chronic Funding Under specific States
44:02 A Real-Life Dilemma: Transferring Schools Over the Housing Lottery
45:13 Connection to Home: Central State and Wilberforce University
46:24 Ingenuity & Innovation: Fisk University’s Shipping Container Village
48:29 Reflecting on Spelman: Why Staying on Campus for 4 Years Made Sense
50:10 A Different World: Reacting to the Fall Netflix Reboot Trailer
51:16 Relive the Magic: Dwayne Wayne's Glasses & The Hillman Legacy
53:17 Transitions: Moving Into "Ask Us Anything"
53:53 Mailbag Question 1 (Danielle): Is Text Dating for 8 Months Normal?
55:19 Setting Boundaries: Why a Relationship Cannot Survive on Text Alone
57:29 Reclaiming Your Worth: The Verdict on Danielle’s Dilemma
58:59 Mailbag Question 2 (Anonymous): The Corporate "Approachability Trap"
59:53 Dealing with Workplace Intimidation Critiques as an Introvert
1:01:55 Unpacking Uncomfortable Coworkers & Performance Review Double Standards
1:02:57 Navigating the Management Hierarchy & The Risk of Today’s Corporate HR
1:04:04 Finding Strength in Employee Resource Groups (ERGs)
1:04:42 The "Corporate in Black and White" Approach
1:06:33 Final Advice to Anonymous & Episode Wrap-Up
1:07:23 Outro: Mother-Daughter Theme & Credits
🎤 New episodes every week. Honest conversations between mother and daughter on family, womanhood, and navigating life across generations.
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SPEAKER_01Welcome back to Raised by Her. Woo! It is hot outside. I am loving it. I know you are. I know you are.
SPEAKER_02So hi there. Hi, hi. I mean, but people are complaining, and I understand that. But I, you know, I'm like, I do realize it is hot, but also bake me.
SPEAKER_01It's wonderfully hot. And I say that because I prefer to be warm too warm than cold. So I can I can relate to heat, but I do not like being cold.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. I would choose the heat over cold any day. And I also feel like I complained a lot during winter, so I'm not allowed to complain. Like I complain during the winter when I'm cold, so I'm not allowed to complain during the winter.
SPEAKER_01That is true. So I don't want to hear any complaints. This winter, next winter, or the winter.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no. You will not hear me complain during the summertime. Oh. I get to complain during the wintertime. Oh, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01So that's the way that we do this. All right. Okay. One season or the other.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Um, what do I say? Pick a struggle.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, you know what? That that's actually a true statement across the board. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
SPEAKER_02So have you had a pretty good week? I've had a really good week. Um, it's so funny. Whenever you ask me that, I'm like, well, let me go back into my calendar and see exactly what my week entailed. But I mean, I'm coming into the weekend, this holiday weekend, uh feeling really good.
SPEAKER_01Yes, that's great.
SPEAKER_02So what about yourself? Happy Fourth of July. Yes, happy Fourth of July to you as well. Yes. That's good. It's good. Okay. And so dipping back into last week, kind of speaking about last week, um, whoop, folks were passionate about our conversation, but also I think the just the the overall conversation around Oprah and Whitney. Lots of strong opinions.
SPEAKER_01Well, last week you indicated that people were sort of split 50-50. But this week, in looking at the information and the engagement of the conversation, it didn't feel to me like it was 50-50. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_02Shifting over time, but actually somebody pointed out they were like, it is not 50-50. Oh, really?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay. It was. But a lot of people are still talking about it.
SPEAKER_02People are still talking about it. Okay, let me give you some of the comments. Uh, one person said the backlash on Oprah is well deserved, totally unnecessary for O to discuss Whitney, especially now.
SPEAKER_01I agree with that statement in terms of what's the benefit, because that's a lot of what I read and heard uh this week. Um, also, I know that Oprah was using the Whitney story as an example. Correct. And in I I didn't see any comments referring to the example. I didn't the broader discussion. Well, no, no. Everything had to do with uh how much they love Whitney and how wonderful Whitney was, and how shame on Oprah, and then all kind of comments about Oprah and then Oprah and Gail. I was just absolutely fascinated. Okay, go ahead. What else did you hear?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so another person said Oprah Winfrey is showing her true colors. Clive Davis passed a couple of days ago. It is awful timing and very wrong. Clive Davis passed after uh this uh speech that Oprah that has now gone viral, right? Um, that that Oprah did it at Cannes. So I I don't know exactly the correlation. I mean, I understand what they're trying to say. They're just saying it's too much negativity because a lot of times when people are talking about what either are also talking about the relationship with Clive Davis, and if they're talking about her professional career and everything.
SPEAKER_01Well, and and to that point, I read some comments about how Clive Davis wanted to change her image and her persona, and so he dressed her up in ball gowns and he he helped make her a star. So I'm thinking, okay, I'm not understanding how this sort of relates to Clive Davis's death, Oprah and Whitney. Um but I mean, people have opinions too.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, they do, and they bring in all types of uh tangents and and various facts.
SPEAKER_01As we do with our opinions. So I mean it's it it's okay.
SPEAKER_02All right. Um I'll just say one more thing because and it's in this similar vein. I tried to look for a diversity of comments, but to your point, folks are um just not very pleased with Oprah at all. This person says Oprah herself hadn't been news for years now. Maybe this was suggested by her managers and agents to make her relevant again and bring her back into national focus. Just saying.
SPEAKER_01I I truly don't agree with that comment. I uh whether it's Oprah of yesterday or Oprah of today or even the Oprah of tomorrow, I don't think that the sister needs any kind of controversy or additional press or controversy. I mean, I I think she's a strong, confident woman. Uh she has been able to prove herself. And certainly when you're out there, you're always going to have um haters. You're gonna have people who have opinions about what you say and what you do. Don't we know it? Well, yes, we do. Uh and I believe that the the comment that she made, perhaps the timing was um ill-conceived. Um, you know, I'll I'll go along with that. But Oprah doesn't need any kind of press. She's Oprah. I mean not heart. Yeah. And and the the one comment years ago that someone said, can you really, really be known as one name unless you're a star yourself? That's yeah, that's a word. Hey, what can I say? Good point. Good point to whoever said that. Yes, yes. That was years ago, but I I remembered that.
SPEAKER_02So uh us moving on, or at least trying to move on from the Oprah and Wenfrey, or Oprah and Winfrey, Oprah and Whitney conversation, um, getting into some of the hot topics of this past week, because there was quite a bit going on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think pop culture uh this week allowed um not only for us to be able to be engaged, but also to participate and some more celebration because we we both watched uh some of the BET Awards. It was a long show. Right. I think you're accurate to say we both watched some. Well, yes. No, I didn't watch, I don't watch the whole thing, but I I I was pleased by the elevation of talent, what I thought, because I have watched the BET Awards from years ago. It's one of those areas that we embraced because it was a celebration of not only black culture, but also the uh I think the accomplishments of black people in in various ways. And so I was very pleased to see the level of talent, but also it had record-breaking um audience uh participation. It did.
SPEAKER_02Can I give you some sure? You know, I'm always splitting stats at you.
SPEAKER_01So give you some stuff. That's okay. I you know, I like stats.
SPEAKER_02You know, okay, yeah, we love the data. We love the data. That's credibility. So uh it posted its highest ratings since 2019 with a 50% year-over-year jump in TV impressions. 50%? 50%. That's 2.6 million viewers across network.
SPEAKER_01Impressive. That is very impressive. Um, and I'm not, I don't know exactly what uh what data they're looking at or what they're comparing it to, but that's that's impressive. So congratulations to the producers of the BET Awards to get those kind of stats. And yay for the advertisers too.
SPEAKER_02Everybody's happy, that's right. Um, and then also one of the things I thought was really interesting is that viewership among women ages 18 to 24 jumped 144%. And it was fueled by the network's decision to kind of pass the mic, if you will, to a new generation of creators. Okay. One of the ways they did that is by selecting a new host, Drewski.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I now know who I now know who Drewski is. Um, since you know, people were just amazed that I didn't know a few shows back that I didn't know who he was, but he looked totally different this time.
SPEAKER_02Yes, he does play different characters. And for those of you who don't know who he is, he is uh uh a comedian. A comedian um who does a lot of skits. Although I think that his nations, I think. Um I actually and again I've seen uh comments on both sides about his overall performance. Some people loved it, some people didn't like it, which is the nature of the job. But um I actually didn't love it so much. But I'm also not I'm a Druski fan in terms of him utilizing skits to uh do commentary on broader social issues. Okay. That makes sense. But that's not really what I saw um in the awards. I feel like it was more just uh doing skits and comedy to try to get laughs, which is what comedy is, but also I was like, uh, I'm not as entertained as I am with some of his clips.
SPEAKER_01I think the comment that I enjoyed most, the previous host, and I'm missing the name. Was it Chris Rock? Yes, Chris Rock made the thank you, uh, made the comment that, well, I won't be going back because not only were the ratings were the ratings higher, but you know, he knocked it out the park. And I thought, yay for Chris Rock giving kudos to Drewski and what he was. I did love that part. I thought that was really good. And then I also saw someone else Yes, for succession, and yes, for cheering on the next generation. Exactly, yeah, and being able to embrace the change. Yeah. So I think all of the above, uh I think that was beneficial, but uh okay, favorite speeches. I I I do have to uh indicate that I loved um Tiana Taylor's acceptance speech of the icon award now.
SPEAKER_02Uh I don't know if you're gonna give some more statistics, but yes, let's dive into Tiana Taylor because that was, I think, one of my no, that was my favorite moment of what I saw from the BET Awards. And a part of it was how uh genuinely emotional, like she started crying as soon as she saw Janet Jackson.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we saw Janet Jackson was on, hadn't even started talking. I know. Janet hadn't even said anything yet, and all of a sudden the camera goes to T Tiana. It was sweet. But I mean, you know, that that is a moment in time because as a little girl or a younger girl, what Tiana said was I mean, I just always have loved her and appreciated her and celebrated her, and now she's one of my mentors, and now she's here for me, you know. So it was all all of the above.
SPEAKER_02Tiana Taylor uh won four major awards that night, including the inaugural Icon of the Year Award, the Fashion Vanguard Award, Best Actress, and Video Director of the Year Award. I also thought that the BET Awards did a really good job of being holistic in terms of the breadth of her career, some of which I was aware of, but definitely not all of it. Right. I was not aware of all of that. They did a good job of that to me.
SPEAKER_01And I I think in in terms of being able to demonstrate the not only breadth and depth of what Tiana Taylor is offering to culture today and offering to the various roles that you can play, but her her talent is now across the the uh the board. And I thought that was that was pretty good because I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_02Well, you love a multi-hyphenite but that's what you're doing.
SPEAKER_01If you really want today, I think to be uh successful in several different platforms, you have to have that diversification. She surely, I think, proved herself. Yeah. Any other great moments that you enjoyed?
SPEAKER_02I liked the legacy tributes as well. They did two legacy tributes, one to D'Angelo, who we know passed away. His children spoke on that a little bit. And then Lauren Hill also received. She received the network's first ever living legend icon award. It was presented by Ice Cube.
SPEAKER_01Uh but then I didn't quite understand that. I'm going to say I I I didn't see it in real time, but when I went back and looked at that clip, I was thinking I'm not quite understanding the connection between Ice Cube and Lauren Hill and all of that.
SPEAKER_02Maybe our listeners can and viewers can help us out and let us know because I I don't have the answer um to that one. But I it was now it was a long tribute. Um but Queen Latifah, Common, Siza, Doshi, um, and even some of her children uh were a part of the overall tribute, uh, among others. And so I thought they did a really good job. But then I so my favorite speech, as we just discussed, was Tiana Taylor. My second favorite was Lauren Hill's acceptance speech. And um, it's actually, I've liked it so much that I've reposted it on the raised by her podcast. I suppose my personal account, because I was like, ooh, um, this this is a word. Um, and I also it I reposted it on the podcast Instagram because I also think what she said speaks to what it is we are trying to do with our podcast. Yes. Uh she first uh talked about how wonderful her parents were and how she recognizes the role that they played in her life, but then also kind of being out and about, she realized that not everybody has uh that in their lives. And so she wants to be able to pour um that love and joy that she was able to experience into others. And I was like, that's a part of what we would like to do and are trying to do uh with our podcast, that black joy component.
SPEAKER_01The black joy component, and it also um brought me to the moment of I didn't realize until I gone to college that not everybody had the support systems growing up that I had. And I I remember specifically, I I was performing in a play uh on campus, and two carloads of family members came to see the play. And so, no, one, it was very unusual to have this many African Americans on campus because I'm on a predominantly white campus. And so you have all these people coming into the theater. Beeking through the window. We know exactly. And so people were looking around, but also the fact that my my roommates and the other students and friends uh in the theater department were saying, How many people came here to to see your very cameo role that you had here? And I said, Well, these were my aunts and my uncles and kids. And our family rolls deep. Well, yes, and the support rolls deep. And that's one of the first times that I began to think about, you know, not everybody grew up with that kind of support and support systems uh across the board. And I remember similarly when you were to Spelman the freshman year, you were talking uh at one point, uh, you called up and you said, you know, mommy, um, I just didn't know that that some people don't have any support at all. And you were talking about some students who came to school by themselves. I don't know if you remember that conversation. Yeah, I do.
SPEAKER_02Well, I don't remember the exact conversation, but I remember my awareness growing um and my empathy and respect for people growing because it is one thing to navigate this world with a support system. It's a totally different challenge to do so without that support system. And so I just had immense respect for the young women, and I'm saying young women because I went to an all-women's college, right? The young women who were able to get there by themselves. And uh, you know, getting into Spellman and matriculating through Spellman is not an easy feat. That's right. And wasn't thin in the sniper now still today. Yeah, getting it easier. Right. Um, and so I think that's yeah, I was just like, that's that's amazing, and kudos to you and keep keep going, type thing.
SPEAKER_01So so Lauren Heel's remarks were not only uh relevant to uh all of us, uh, regardless of your your your background, we can appreciate the fact of being able to not only live the legacy but appreciate the support. But then the next step is necessary that is to support others, to encourage others. And as she said, take your gifts and make them meaningful to the world, whether your gift be in fashion or whatever your talent, whatever your gift is, you are required to do something with that to contribute to our broader society.
SPEAKER_02And not just for yourself, but for others, because other people need your gifts. That's why you were graced with your gifts. That's exactly. I mean, her speech was fantastic. And then I love that she um also just talked about she's like, I'm rooting for you. Like I'm fighting for you.
SPEAKER_01Right, you know, and that's what we're doing here on Race by Her. We are rooting for you and we're fighting for you. And we also want to be able to have dialogue with you to encourage you and your journey or give you the support that you need. So yes, just yes, keep listening, keep watching, right?
SPEAKER_02Um actually that's a good segue. Um, just to flag, because I didn't do this at the top and I should have done this. That we had uh we've done a couple of Ask Us Anything on this podcast, uh, sporadically as questions have come in. Um and the questions keep rolling, which is amazing. And we love that so much so that we are now just going to make it an ongoing, solid part of each podcast episode every week. We are going to answer your listener and viewer questions. So thank you so much for engaging with us. Thank you so much for wanting to have the conversation with us and be on the couch with us. Uh, the best way to get us your questions is either to email us at raise by her podcast at gmail.com. Um, you can also DM us on any of our social media platforms, which are in our show notes. Um, and if you are listening on audio, you have the option to click on fan mail and send us a note and a question.
SPEAKER_01And we Okay, now that's not something that I have been familiar with. Fan mail.
SPEAKER_02Yes, it's a link. Just click on the link.
SPEAKER_01Click on the link. Okay. Mother is still learning. I'm telling you, this this baby boomer here who's trying to get caught up. You're doing a good job though. Well, I'm I'm you know, I am moving forward.
SPEAKER_02You are moving forward.
SPEAKER_01I am moving forward. And I I met with my coach this past week, and he said, you know, you know, just take it one at a time one step at a time. You're you're getting there.
SPEAKER_02So I I think that's such an important part or point, though. You have a social media coach at the age of 75. Because I had to have a social media coach. But that's amazing. Because are are your are your friends and colleagues and stuff have do they have social media coach? I know they talk about it, I know they complain about technology, right? But have they weighed the extra step to actually get a coach to help them navigate? No, but they're not doing a podcast either.
SPEAKER_01This is some bare bone or myself. Yeah, yes. This is um uh not a not a coach, but a a lot of them have tried to uh to learn, especially since we've been doing the podcast, and they're always asking me questions. And I said, I don't know. I'm still learning here. But the fact that I am trying something new and different and being engaged not only in our conversation, but trying to be engaged in the conversations of of others, I find that to be refreshing. Um, I I well, you know, I don't feel old anyway. I I really embrace aging and trying new and different things. So for me, this is an adventure. Yeah. And I also indicated that if I didn't do the things that I was uh encouraged to do by my daughter, encouraged to do by her husband, I probably would not have been able to last all these many months that we've had our podcast. So there's been some uh some push and push forward.
SPEAKER_02Push and pull. Well, yes. So, but it's all good. It is all good. I just I shout out to you for it because it's not easy, but it's worth it. And one thing that you said on this podcast, and you also say to me um offline as well, is the importance of being a lifelong learner. That's right, and how that doesn't just allow you to grow in your life, but it allows you to continue to um be a part of an ever-changing and evolving society at whatever age.
SPEAKER_01So I really I attribute um mom and dad for encouraging that kind of um mindset. But also, you remember your grandmother uh went back to college when she was in her 40s, and then when she was in her 50s, she was determined that she was going to to uh to move forward. And I was saying to a friend recently that um when she had to the last time that that she dropped out um to uh to be able to take care of dad when my father got sick. And I I think uh she sort of thought in her mind that was going to be because she was so close, so close to getting the undergraduate degree at that point, and she was in her her third university, but sure they were able to give uh credit for lifelong learning and and her experience because she was a real estate broker, she had had a very successful career, and so they were using some of the experience, and so she was so close, and then uh she just didn't get all the way over that threshold. But we gave her her kudos and her degree. So that lifelong learning is important regardless of what age you are.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, absolutely. Uh okay, so just to wrap up the BET portion real quick, uh, congratulations to BET on evolving and the success that they've had with this new show. And uh, you know, black award shows exist because black people were excluded from recognition for their talents and contributions for so long uh from the other award shows. And so shout out to VET for also continuing, because I know it's leadership has shifted and changed over time, but continuing to prioritize driving the culture. Forward because we know that black culture is what drives all culture.
SPEAKER_01And we also know that today, even though there are multicultural awards programs and shows, we still don't always get our just due in terms of the celebration of black. We talked about that on this podcast. We have. And so I'm glad to know that not only is our audience growing, but that people are still recognizing even in 2026, it is necessary for us to celebrate ourselves. Yes. Yes. Excellent.
SPEAKER_02Great. All right. So actually diving a little bit back into the aging conversation, uh, this story this week really made me sad. So Danny Glover, who I remember from well, a couple of different he's had such a varied career that we can talk a little bit about uh what we remember from his career thus far. But he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. And uh his family decided to share. Actually, I'm sorry, no, he was diagnosed in 2023. That is correct. And uh at the age of 79 years old. And his family chose to speak out now uh because his daughter said that they think that it's really important to not just control the narrative, but also to fight the stigma. His daughter is 50 years old, and one of the quotes that stuck out to me in terms of what she said about sharing uh her father's journey, I think it's really important for him to have control of his own narrative, of his own life story. And the time is now. I don't want to be just a dishonest person and say, oh yeah, everything, it's all right. It's all great. And I was like, that that is really honest because we have personal family experience. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimer's, and it is uh it's a very uh sad disease.
SPEAKER_01It is a very sad disease. It also can hit at any time and any age. Um, mom was very, very healthy throughout most of her adult life. In fact, she was the healthiest of many of her um ten brothers and sisters and uh the healthiest of uh all of her first cousins. Uh, and so it was quite uh surprising when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, first with dementia and then with Alzheimer's. We really believed that um the fact of the matter of my father's illness taking place and then her caregiving that she had to go through and the fact that the stress of still running the business that they had that just really put her over the the edge. And I I remember the moment when I was just I was talking to her, and all of a sudden I looked at her and I realized not only was she repeating herself over and over again, but she was not being clear at all about what she was talking about. And because she didn't believe in in regular medicine, uh uh it was very difficult for me to then get her to the doctor to have her uh to have it diagnosed. It was very uh it was just challenging for both me and excuse me, uh for my brother. But also not a lot was known uh about that disease because I'm I'm talking now 14, 15 years ago when I started. Well, yes, even still I went to classes, I did a lot of reading, uh, and then tried to help her through and navigate through this uh this challenge that she was changing. And you're you're forgetting things in your life that are just so significant and important to you. The Danny Glover story, which uh was in People Magazine this week and then also several broadcasts actually in Praised, was very hard to be able to watch him because you knew this was not the talented actor that we had seen on stage and in film and on television, but you realized that he did have some of his past memories, and he was trying to communicate in a way to answer the questions. The interview that I saw was with Lester Holt on NBC News, and in the questions about his career and the memories and things that he was the proudest of, he was able to share, and then at some moments he was not. That's always hard.
SPEAKER_02One of the things that he said is I'm still not accepting my mind, all parts of it. There are moments that you keep remembering that validate the fact that you can remember stuff, and then there are moments that I'll never forget. So um I wanted to or thought that we should talk about this story because I think it hits on a number of different notes. Not only the fact that we have personal experience with the disease and navigating the disease as caregivers, but also again, applauding the family because I think it's culturally, I think black people really kind of struggle with vulnerability, and there's a big um expectation to keep private moments private, like it's our business, nothing leaves this house type thing.
SPEAKER_01And so that's so true. Yeah, that is so true. I mean, it is so true, and also we refuse to admit the reality of what it is, and we refuse to ask for help when we need it.
SPEAKER_02And so I just I continue to applaud that family for taking this very private moment, but noting, but knowing the importance and the power of sharing it so other families know that they're not alone, but also sharing how they're navigating and that it is really hard.
SPEAKER_01When you would come home, this is when you were uh living in DC, um, to be able to celebrate like Mother's Day with uh with mommy. I always thought it was wonderful how you decided to do um activities and adventures because this is something that your grandmother used to do with you when you were a little girl. She used to take you special places and do special things with you. And I thought it was so wonderful as a woman, then you would decide to do that um with her and create moments of experience. And we knew she loved it because that's the way she used to celebrate um special days and special opinions with you. I don't know to that. Yeah, comparing up well, I know, but but it's it's very real because we we have felt it and we saw it, and it wasn't a disease that was all of a sudden, it was progressive. And so um I'm I'm remembering the one time you came home and we were celebrating Mother's Day, and you decided that um we were gonna go on a lunchtime boat ride, and and um mother just loved it because um there were everybody was saying, you know, happy Mother's Day and doing this and doing that. But it was it was like her, she just lightened up. Donica did this, Donica shared this experience, and Donica planned this, and that was meaningful. And and the reason why this story is important is because what you need to do and what you have to do is to relate to your loved one where they are at a given time.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01And one of the times that uh a meeting with the doctors, he said, Imagine you're a person who are you're in a foreign country, you don't speak the language at all, and you're lost on the street and you're looking around. How would that feel to you? That feels like I have no control, I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do, and I can't figure this out. So there's a fear element too. So you want to make sure your loved one that you're caring for going through those moments can really feel that someone is there that they can relate to. And I think that's what you would do when you would plan these special outings.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, I also think that one of the things that helped us navigate that space was the fact that you're gonna grab me a tissue thing. Um, is that you did a lot of research. So, as you mentioned, it was uh tricky because there's still not a lot known about this disease, but you were trying to be and were as informed as possible. And so I knew exactly what you were talking about in terms of the importance of um, thank you for the tissue, by the way. You're welcome. The importance of um still leaning into moments and that just benefits her and still wanting to create memories. I mean, even um a part of what Danny Glover said in one of his interviews, he just said, I just want to say that your life continues. And this doesn't feel like the end of my life. There is still work to do. So even though my grandmother had the disease, I didn't look at her um as a diseased person. It's still a person I want to spend time with.
SPEAKER_01I I remember at one point um planning to go to a celebration for one of mom's friends in Washington, D.C. And she hadn't been on an airplane in a very long time. And so I'm asking the doctor, is this something that I can do? Can I can I take her to DC and help her uh navigate through the airport and all these things in this different situation? And the doctor said, Yes, she's she can travel, she can travel on a plane, and you can you can take her. What you have to remember to do is continuously explain where you are, what you're doing, and then what we're trying to get to. So, what was wonderful about that moment, this was Mr. Ellis, who you know, the Ellises were our wonderful family friends for many, many years, and uh, we were celebrating uh his 90th birthday, and um and he didn't know, he was surprised because when he and his wife left Dayton, Ohio, one of the things he did, he he hugged mommy and he said to me, I will never see your mother again because I can't come back to Ohio. So when I went and I I remembered that when I went through the extra effort to get her to Washington, D.C. and to surprise him at that 90th birthday party, he cried. And then she got tears in her eyes. But again, a special moment of celebration. She didn't know everything going on. Sure. But she knew what we were doing there, and we were there for for Mr. Ellis. And so my point here is just try to take your loved one and put as many memories back in place as you're moving forward to put new memories there as well. They will appreciate it and know they don't know everything, but they do know something.
SPEAKER_02Any other advice for the caregivers uh that are out there based on your experience? Because we know that um so many people and families are dealing with this, and I can't, and I don't have the stats or anything in in front of me, but I do remember that one and four that African-American women this disease more often.
SPEAKER_01African-American women do, African Americans in general, um, men are are unfortunately African-American men are now suffering um a lot from from this disease as well. My my advice is take care of yourself, ask for help, and then ask for more help. And please understand that your loved one is still there. So the goal is to be able to participate in life and include them in as much life as possible, even though they may not know or remember, there is something deep down inside that connects.
SPEAKER_02So when I um, because I again I remember a little bit of Danny Glover's career, but one of the things I did not know is his commercial breakthrough happened when he was 40 years old. And um, I was like, oh, you know, and so he had spent decades doing uh, you know, all types of things, but but his success, uh his commercial success really started at 40. And there's I think this idea that you have to have a certain level of success in your early 20s or in your 30s, and so the fact that it started for him um in his 40s, um, I just love that. And then also his breath, like we talked about um the importance of uh differentiating your career, but he did action blockbusters, he did historical dramas, he did independent black cinema, he did family class classics, and so his versatility was just it was extraordinary.
SPEAKER_01He had gone to school studying um performing and acting, but then and he he was encouraged at that time, but then he decided his career was going in a different direction. His mother actually wanted to be uh an actor as well. And um, one of the things that was so um devastating to him is when he finally got his absolute breakthrough as a performer in one of the first major roles, his mother was killed that day in a car accident. Uh and he was not able to share that moment um with her, but he realized that he was doing this then for her as he began to push himself forward and push himself forward. So what a story. Oh my god, I had no idea. Yeah, his his his life and his um his legacy continues to to speak volumes in terms of even now. Right, right, in terms of the performances. Um people asked, well, what's the favorite role? Um and he said, It depends on the time, you know, it depends on what you know when what I was going through. Uh, unfortunately, when he was the the character of Mr. Yeah in the color purple color purple. Uh that was an impactful one. That was his his brother said, That is so much not my brother. That is not the man, and yet people began to identify him with that particular character because you know he really played that role. But uh the uh lethal weapon uh franchise is one that he uh embraced, of course, and uh playing with uh Mel Gibson as his uh as the sidekick uh and that really helped him to continue to move his his career forward. I what's I think important for a great actor, not only to have that diversity of talent, but to be able to try new and different things, yeah, and to be able to try roles that are not typically you, yeah, whatever that is. I mean, Dindel Washington does a great job in in going across the board and stepping out of the roles that that he can play. Um, I can say that about Will Smith too. Will Smith, I just recently re-watched um the Will Smith um movie King Richard, where he Oh, with Venus and Serena. Right, right, the father and uh and I was when I was laying there middle of the night watching this watching this movie. Yes, yes, I said, I didn't remember that Will Smith had played that role, and but he he did a dynamite job. So I I'm indicating that um black actors who are multi-talented don't always have the opportunity to be able to play the multiple roles because people like to typecast them. You know, you you're known for this one, and then the producers will not necessarily take a chance because, because, because, but uh those multi-talented um actors, female and male, really you can you can tell. But the point here is go, Danny Glover. We are still rooting for you, and your family is loving you. He has a great support system. His brother, who he took in at a time when his uh his brother's life was not going well, he said, You're gonna come to Hollywood, you're going to live with me, and I'm gonna take care of you. So now his brother is taking care of him, and this is a younger brother, so you know life goes full circle. Life goes full circle.
SPEAKER_02All right, anything else on that?
SPEAKER_01No, but I I appreciate the opportunity to to talk about it. It's always emotional, but it's always real, and a lot of people are going through it, so you're not alone. Perfect.
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SPEAKER_01Text them today, and Pure MD will take care of the rest. Yes. You know, um what's wonderful about higher education, and this is near and dear to my heart, and I've talked about it before, not only from the standpoint of believing that we need to support our young people in so many ways, but making sure that they are in the right place at the right time, being able to get the right experience so they can become successful adults who can navigate this very complicated world. Today, the HBCUs are in the news because they're having record-breaking enrollment, which is so exciting.
SPEAKER_02Like that is amazing. Gen Z scholars are wanting to go to HBCUs, they are applying, they are getting in. Um, so it's historic. They're having a historic enrollment boom, uh, but that's clashing a little bit with decades of underfunding in terms of the of the HBCU institutions to be able to keep up with the infrastructure demands of this uh enrollment boom. So just to give, and I could have actually pulled um a whole bunch of different data from different HBCUs, because this is really across the board. But to give folks an example of what we're talking about, um Howard University received a record-breaking 37,000 applications for a freshman class of 2,700, yet they only have about 5,400 beds for over 11,500 undergrads. Yeah. And so it's it's becoming uh a real challenge. I mean, Florida AM had to tell 500 incoming freshmen that they had no campus housing. Jackson State had to lease local hotel rooms and scramble a little bit after 380 students petitioned over some abrupt housing shifts as the institutions are trying to figure out how to navigate this. So before we jump into the conversation, I just want to be clear that this is not any type of criticism or indictment, or at least we'll dive into it. But from my perspective, it's not a criticism or indictment on uh bad leadership or anything like that, that this infrastructure crisis, um, as we understand the data is a result of systemic starvation and underfunding.
SPEAKER_01It's also a result of the fact that in our political environment today, where there has been such a cutback of diversity, equity, and inclusion uh initiatives on the predominantly white campuses, you are seeing more and more students not wanting to expose themselves while they're trying to navigate their young adult lives, those things going on on the predominantly white schools. And so they they're choosing not to go there. So the other schools are finding the opportunity to embrace the HBCU initiatives and the HBCU schools, but the students are now left in this situation because the underfunding that has been uh systemic over the years has now come, I think, uh to fruition.
SPEAKER_02Uh that's spot on. So overall, higher education enrollment nationwide has dropped by third by 3% over the past decade. But HBCU enrollment has grown 2.6%. And just to give some specifics to when we say chronic underfunding, um, there has federal officials have revealed that 16 states have collectively underfunded their HBCUs by around 12 billion dollars for the last decade. So billions of dollars in underfunding really does have an impact. Yes, it does.
SPEAKER_01And uh this is something that really hits to home because uh a friend of mine recently, when I was asking how her daughter was doing and what she was doing this summer, and she said she's getting ready to transfer from an HBCU because of the housing scenario. And I said, the housing scenario? And she said, Um, yes, she hasn't been able to find housing for next year, so she's transferring to another school. And I said, She's a junior. Don't they have the lottery system? Wow, she's a junior. Don't they have the lottery system? And she said, Yes, they do have the lottery system. And then she started talking about the difficulty that her daughter was having in finding housing close to the university. City campus. And so when I when I read this story, I thought this is real and it's serious because it's one thing when you're a freshman, right? It's something else when you're a junior because now you have to look for another school. Oh, that's the transfer, and that could be then cost your educational plan a lot more than you initially had um really planned on.
SPEAKER_02I mean, and you've built your your collegiate ecosystem, your your friends and your activities and the things that you're a part of and you've been doing for the past oh God, my heart breaks for that.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, not just impacting the freshmen but and the administrators of the universities. Um close to home here, the two HBCUs that we are most uh connected to in the uh Dayton, Ohio area is uh Central State University and Wilburforce University. And I do know that for um for a few years Central State has had some housing challenges and they have housed some of their students across the street because they are literally across the street from each other. Wilburforce being the oldest um HBCU in the country. Um and so they have shared private, private, yes, the older private. Thank you. Yes, the older private they have been able to share some of their housing challenges with with each other. But this is not a situation we're going to be able to solve soon. We're just going to have to really kind of work through that step by step because the funding that is needed to build the new dorms and then all of the other infrastructure that you need in order to make sure that it is a positive experience for your college student is it's real.
SPEAKER_02Um, I I want to share with you one of the uh initiatives that one of the schools is implementing because I think we are as a community uh getting creative as we do, as we have to, as we have to uh when dealing with uh situations. So FISC, who has seen a 60% enrollment surge. Wow. Um 60% go FISC um invested four million dollars to build a student village out of retrofitted shipping containers to house 98 students because traditional construction couldn't keep up. And so when I saw that, I was like, now, um I don't I was like, can I get a picture? Let me see. What does this look like? Yeah, like a shipping container. But I I'm finding it hard to imagine, but I I respect the the ingenuity and and innovation that um what they're trying to do. Yeah, what they're trying to do. I actually, if anybody um listening has any uh children going to Fisk or any relatives going to Fisk, or if you are a graduate of FISC, I'm curious about what your thoughts are because I know that I have ongoing thoughts about how uh my alma mater is um uh runs different initiatives and things. And so I uh I'm curious, like what do you think about um some of the the solutions that the institutions are trying to implement to address this challenge on TikTok? This overall discussion has been framed um into the hunger games, the hunger games for uh getting on campus and getting into a dorm.
SPEAKER_01Now you think about it, freshman year, it's hard enough to be able to navigate going from high school and to this whole new experience. You're generally in another town, and now you have a housing challenge. And now you're in the you're in a Hunger Games scenario. So um, but it's gonna make you grow up faster. I'll tell you that, because you have to be solution oriented.
SPEAKER_02This is yeah, this is true. That would be such a struggle. I'm just thinking of my own college experience. And uh I stayed all four years, which shocks people. They're like, you when you had the opportunity, you didn't go off and get an apartment off campus.
SPEAKER_01But why, Donica, did you decide to stay on campus all four years?
SPEAKER_02Well, because it was the most convenient, right? I was like, I'm look, I am nothing if not consistent. You know.
SPEAKER_01Even even when you were 18, 19, 20 years.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes. So I'm like that. If I couldn't walk to class, why would I choose to drive to class? I mean, I just I couldn't, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Your your your friends had me cracking up laughing because they were getting their apartments uh off campus, and they said, you know, your daughter is deciding to stay on campus. And she's and she's not giving up one of those rooms to any of the underclassmen. And um but uh freshman got to figure it out. Well, that's yeah, that was funny. But but I do understand that. And what you what you indicated, especially those last two years, is that because you were um captain of the tennis team and you had to be on campus, and you all were doing sometimes, I think like two a days or something, you had to be there in the morning to be able to uh do conditioning, and then you had to be there later on campus. It just made sense, Mom, for me to just be on campus so I can get up and I can get over the tennis courts and I could do what I need to do and get my studies. All the reasons you did. You had all the but you know what? I thought I said, okay, well, this this helps us because we're not driving around looking for or trying to to uh rent an apartment, uh, although Spelman's campus is close to it's in community, so you would have had a lot of apartments right there. But you know, your dad and I were okay with that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, it worked out, and um actually, as we were diving into this, you mentioned the fact that a different world is um getting ready to be reboot rebooted on Netflix and is coming back this fall. And so you asked me, you were like, Did you watch Different World? And I was like, Well, that was a little before my time, but I am aware of it. I watched episodes because of the cultural impact that it had. In the fact it was just a great show. So I am thrilled to watch the reboot in the fall.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. Uh, Netflix is bringing it back. And uh, when I saw the story, I got all excited because not only did I like the characters, good, strong African-American characters with support from uh the broader community in general, but it was a story about college life. It was a positive story about college life. And when I mean positive, it dealt with all the challenges and the realities that young people have uh when they're trying to navigate from being young to their adulthood. But the relationships that were built and the complexities of the relationships on the college campus. I mean, you know, Hillman was a real thing. And for those of us who liked watching uh this particular show, this was a show produced by Bill Cosby. We have to give him kudos for at that point uh being able to create some create something. And he will give him that part. We we we will that's just that part. Just that part, just for a different world. But the um the characters, some of them are coming back on this reboot, and the main character is a young woman who is the daughter of um Dwayne Wayne, who was one of the wonderful characters, and uh Whitley, who was uh a very, very challenging but um very self-assured young woman who they finally ended up in in their relationships. But the um this this is gonna be fun. But what I thought was in the trailer that they showed with the uh the young woman who's the the daughter now, she had this look, and then Dwayne Wayne had these glasses, sunglasses that flipped up. Oh yeah, and so she had she had this this character that and I thought that's uh allowing us to be able to relate and the music, the song was just uh was so good, it was so catchy. It's a different word, you know where we come from. And so yeah, so that's gonna be good. We'll talk about it again in the fall, but uh yay! Yay! Yay, awesome. Um now I at some point I think I read that the uh the outside of the campus, the um the shot was um Spellman's campus at one of the city. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02You just said Hillman is a um was a real place, but I I don't think it's a real place. Hillman is not a real place.
SPEAKER_01It was all although on um on Chanel Jones and and Jenna's show, uh Chanel Jones said she always wanted to go to Hillman. And Jenna said, I don't think that was a real college.
SPEAKER_02But they show the college, right? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So okay I love it.
SPEAKER_02I love it. Okay, anything else on hot topics this week before we dive into our Ask Us Anything segment?
SPEAKER_01I think we've covered the gamut of many of those topics that are out there, um cultural things. So nope, let's let's see what the folks want to know about us and our opinions at this point. All right.
SPEAKER_02So again, if you want to be included in this segment, please feel free to shoot us an email at raised by her podcast at gmail.com and or hit us up in our DMs on any of our social media platforms. Um, and or if you strictly listen to us on audio, feel free to uh hit the link fan mail and uh write us a note or leave us a voicemail there. So our first question comes from Danielle. Hey girl. She says, I am a 31-year-old corporate strategist and I've been text dating this man for eight months without a single actual dinner date. He expects consistent emotional support and exclusive access to my life. But the moment I brought up defining our relationship, he claimed he was just focusing on his personal growth. It feels like no one wants to commit anymore, but wants the full benefits of a partner. Am I wrong here for wanting to opt out of this relationship? No. Okay.
SPEAKER_01You're like Well, um, okay, right, right, right, right. I'm sorry, I another look on my face. Uh, if you're listening to us on audio, I just have this absolute, are you kidding me, look on my face. But the video, I think, captured it.
SPEAKER_02And that and that's a look towards the guy, Danielle, not to you. Uh although I I I'm unfamiliar. Now I've been out of the dating game for a minute, but I was like, text dating.
SPEAKER_01What kind of emotional support are you getting from text dating would be my my question. But how many months? Eight months.
SPEAKER_02So I think our first piece of advice to you, Danielle, is that you cannot maintain a relationship strictly over text. So require phone calls and then also require meeting up in person um as quickly as possible to truly facilitate um a relationship.
SPEAKER_01If this is a real relationship, because to me, in terms of a connection, the relationship has to be not only ongoing communication via texting, but also there has to be a personal connection at some point. I do realize that in the whole dating game scenario and where people are matched up by the different companies and online dating and all of that, there is this beginning of whether it's emails or texting, but then at some point it has to become real with connection and communication one-on-one.
SPEAKER_02I when I was uh still dating, I had this rule because I utilize dating platforms, probably none of which still exist because this was over a decade ago. But um, you would get uh a few messages back and forth on the platform. I was checking your spelling and your punctuation, by the way. Um, and then I would require a phone call. And then during that phone call, if I felt connection, then I wanted you to take me out within the next week or two.
SPEAKER_01And you would also, you told me you would meet in a very public place that would not necessarily be um a late date, but something that was earlier in the evening, so that if you needed to exit, um, because I was not familiar with this in terms of the dating. That's true. You were like, wait, what? Exactly. So uh had to get up to date again, ladies and gentlemen, and starting on how the world was navigating. Yes, exactly. Um but but yes, uh more power to you to be able to feel even a connection with someone that you have not been in the person of for that many months.
SPEAKER_02So well, I think she's struggling with the connection because it sounds like um he he uh is getting what it is he needs or wants from the relationship, but but she is not, which is why she had the question. Um and he wants to because what does it say? He expects consistent emotional support and exclusive access to my life. Well, no. Um, Danielle, to my mother's point, the answer is no, absolutely opt out. You deserve more, um, require more. Um and we we hope that you um are able to end this. And I you can do it via text. Based on that that's the basis of your relationship anyway. Send a send a quick text to him letting him know that it's it's it's done.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then move move forward differently. Many blessings to you. Um, we are not relationship experts, we are not therapists, we are not individuals who have uh any degrees uh on those levels, but we are women who have not only value systems, but we are women who who believe in authenticity and respect and make sure that in these cases that you're feeling respected in addition to appreciating.
SPEAKER_02And we also want what's best for you. That's right. We are uh we view you as being a part of our community, and we want um, you know, in the words of Lauren Hill, we are rooting for you, and we are fighting for you. And so um, Danielle, you you deserve more, and we want you to have more. So send that text back and say no, and then you can keep going. There you go. All right. Our next question comes from Anonymous. Uh, and she says, I'm the only black woman on my software development team, and my manager just told me I need to work on my approachability in my performance review. I show up, I crush my deliverables, and keep to myself, but my manager claims my lack of smiling in the morning during our stand-up meetings makes my white teammates uncomfortable. I am always entirely professional. I'm just quiet. How do I address this critique with my manager without conforming to that angry black woman trap?
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna let you start this because of your engagement in the corporate organization. Oh, yeah. You're probably like, oh yeah, I've I've heard this before. Um That's why I am saying, I think before I give you my comment, um I think you should you should comment on this first.
SPEAKER_02Uh okay. Uh first, um, anonymous, I I feel for you because I have been in this exact scenario or a very similar scenario, uh, where I had a manager tell me that I'm intimidating because I'm an introvert and I don't talk enough. And um, so I know how that feels when your work product is there and excellent, but that's not what's being evaluated. Um I mean, my response was to ignore that person and eventually uh move to another organization. And so, because I also fundamentally believe that you need to go and work where you are celebrated and not just tolerated. And if that is um your manager's response, that's not a person that's going to champion you in the way that you might want to be championed, depending on your career goals uh to move to move forward. I don't know if that's the best advice. I'm super curious about yours, but that's that's how I responded because I am who I'm not going to become an extrovert when my nature is an introvert. Um, I'll smile when I have something to smile about. Um, although I have heard I've also heard that feedback from um other managers, not even as it pertains to me, but as it between coworkers, like uh, he just doesn't say good morning enough or he doesn't smile enough. And I'm like, what's that got to do? You want him to smile, give him something to smile about smile about type thing. But uh it sounds like a real cultural issue in the corporation, not and honest, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01Well it does suck. I it does suck. I think that the part of the problem is what the expectations are here, and it appears that if in your performance review that is the only thing that they could really um complain about that you're not smiling enough, and your co-workers feel that you're not approachable, that's on them. That's it, that's on the co-workers. You you are doing the work. She's indicated that she is not only doing the work, but she's doing more than they've asked for. So her performance itself in terms of the work is fine. This is a a situation where the individuals, uh the white individuals are feeling uncomfortable. That's on them. There is something perhaps in their background, in their experience, and they think that African Americans or African-American women need to be a certain kind of way. Not necessarily. We are not a model. That's exactly right. And so, what I believe that you have to do in this situation, have another conversation with your manager and say, I heard what you're saying, and I understand that they are uncomfortable. If they want to know me better, come on one-on-one where I'm comfortable and get to know me better. And let's see if we can form a little bit more of a relationship. But I'm not going to change who I am just because they don't think I smile enough. I am not going to decide to act a certain kind of way because they're uncomfortable. Yeah, well, I'm not here to perform for you. That's exactly right. So I am, I'm uh no.
SPEAKER_02What do you think about the idea of depending on um the relationship with the manager's manager, just going above the manager and letting them know about that experience?
SPEAKER_01There have been different times when that has been my advice. Um, but today's environment is a little more challenging because everybody is not in the same area work environment. I gave that advice to someone years ago, but they were all within uh a close proximity. Now you could have a manager that is across the country or a manager not in the in the building that doesn't know you one-on-one. When I gave that advice, this person had a relationship with the other person. So that not only was my not my but their work was being evaluated and it was good, but also they had a relationship with other people within the corporation. I'm not sure that that is the case here. So I think it's risky in today's environment when the manager's manager could be somewhere else in the world.
SPEAKER_02And also um going to HR, I think is risky as well, because HR is there to protect the company, not you. As I was listening to your advice, something came to me uh that I think might be helpful in this situation, though. Um if your organization has like an employee resource group for African Americans or multicultural uh employees. Right, right. Um perhaps that is where you can go and find some community uh that's internal to the organization. So they know the culture and they have to navigate their own stuff. Um, and if it doesn't exist, perhaps there's an opportunity to create one.
SPEAKER_01That's a good, a really good point. Um, many years ago I was a consultant uh co for an organization, and uh we had a curriculum that one of my friends wrote that was called Corporate in Black and White. And part of the advice in that particular training session had to do with as a black male or female in the environment, how do you navigate with uncomfortable colleagues who had not been around black executives on any level? Um, and so we we talked about cultural differences, we talked about expectations, but we also talked about what we sort of called the, I think it was something like the IBM approach, and it had to do with not only the clothes that you wore, it had to do with your hair and how you presented yourself, uh, and it talked about personalities. And because we are known as a culture of being more social, but perhaps in the corporate environment, that would not be accepted in the same way. So it's really good today to know that you have the HR scenarios and the cohorts that you're talking about and and being able to have the collaboration uh among like peers.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Um, in terms of your specific question, how do I address them not thinking I'm an angry black woman and getting into that trap? I don't think that there's any if they're going to tag you that way, that that's to your to your point. Um, that is what it is. Don't focus on that. Just continue to do excellent work, build out community where you can feel supported in other places and um have another conversation with your supervisor though, in terms of how you are going to continue to do the work and to be excellent in your job.
SPEAKER_01And if someone wants to get to know you better, then one-on-one, that person can approach you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay. So I hope that that was helpful, uh, anonymous. Um let us know. Like write us back and then in a couple of months after you uh explore some of these um suggestions and let us know how it works out. So we have, I mean, we have other questions that we could hit, but I do kind of feel like we are running long. Yes. Uh so we will get back into this next week, um, as promised. And thank you all again for your engagement. Thank you to our subscribers, thank you to those who comment, like, and uh keep sending us your questions. Keep joining us on this couch, and we look forward to next week's conversation.
SPEAKER_01Have a wonderful, wonderful week. And what we want for you is for you to live a life that you love. Perfect.
SPEAKER_02Happy fourth.
unknownBye-bye.
SPEAKER_00She's got wisdom, she's got sex, she's got questions, she's got that. Two voice is gonna lie, like wisdom, the commentator. That's the key boys.
