Come see us at www.PERPETUALLYWRONG.com
Two middle-aged men, armed with questionable wisdom and plenty of beer, sit down each week to unpack everyday life --- and somehow manage to be wrong about nearly everything. From family mishaps to pop culture takes no one asked for, their conversations are equal parts relatable, ridiculous, and reliably off the mark. If you have ever felt like you are just stumbling through life with confidence, but zero accuracy, this is your tribe.
Come see us at www.PERPETUALLYWRONG.com
Episode 24
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You're hanging out with Bob and Brad. Two guys with too many moves, too many tapes, and not nearly enough facts. Welcome to Bob and Brad. Perpetually wrong.
SPEAKER_00Welcome back, everybody. And uh I just want to go ahead and start the show off with a sincere. Oh, what do you gotta say? Uh I I have an apology. An apology? Yes. Who would that be? Not to who most might think it is. Um back at episode 23 last week.
SPEAKER_01This feels so good.
SPEAKER_00Uh 34 minutes into the show, we were having a discussion about paying for fuel at the gas pump. Remember it like it was yesterday. And it's been brought to my attention by uh multiple people. Um I did in fact say $120, not $130. So my sincerest apologies go out to you, Brad.
SPEAKER_01And who else? I'm gonna drag this out a little bit, Bob. What kind of fucking math did I teach you out there? Yeah. Yeah, we're pretty good at math. Or listening, anyways. Math might suck, but well how good that feels. Sorry, Kelly. I took his apology for the year. Maybe in 27 you'll get one.
SPEAKER_00In fact, it was Kelly that was the first one to bring it to my attention. And she says, Listen here, motherfucker. You owe your friend an apology. And I says, I don't owe nobody no apology. Well, turns out.
SPEAKER_01When you called me that night, I four kids I've seen born, a wedding, a bunch of magical moments in my life, but nothing hit me right here quite like. Oh, yeah, that was amazing.
SPEAKER_00Don't expect it again. Even if I am wrong.
SPEAKER_01Yep, your mouth gets the head of your brain sometimes.
SPEAKER_00So with that being said, we'll continue on. Your uh your your limelight is over.
SPEAKER_01That well, that that thank you. And yeah, y'all can stop pointing it out now because the funniest thing was as you were apologizing to me on the phone.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
unknownBdding!
SPEAKER_01Huh, what's Dexter want? Why'd he got us in a group chat?
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01And he was calling you out.
SPEAKER_00Pretty sure he called me a swine. He did. He said you did say $120 used swine.
SPEAKER_01Did you see his comment on TikTok? He's one of the few people that can still see our TikToks on that.
SPEAKER_00No, I didn't see it on TikTok. I saw it on Facebook.
SPEAKER_01Oh, there's a thing in there. He says Bobby's Rick James. Yeah. And he puts in that quote from Rick James. Was that Facebook? I think it was Facebook. Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_00But I'm not gonna say for sure because I could be fucking wrong again. You want to take a minute to check that? Nope, nope. I'm just gonna roll with it.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Apologies to Brad.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And did you hear that, Trish? It wasn't that hard. I think you could do that. Only if she needs to. Well, there's been many, many times. Um she uh been having this tooth problem. I think I said something last week, thought she had gum cancer. Turns out she doesn't. Well, something in her mouth fucking hurts. And she's she ain't for shit at explaining. Well, what hurts? Well, it's right here. Now it's down here. Well, it's over here. Well, it's up here. Well, she went back to the doctor today, dentist, and dentist says, I cannot find anything wrong with you. So I'm gonna forward you to a different doctor.
SPEAKER_00You think maybe it's not quite here, but it's more here?
SPEAKER_01That's what I was thinking. I told her, I said, You're getting referred to a psychologist, probably. But then she says, Well, no, it's a different dentist because he said, Maybe I cracked a tooth. And this other dentist has better equipment to find that.
SPEAKER_00Huh.
SPEAKER_01Well, now I gotta question my fucking ability in picking out a dentist. If I'm going to you, you should have everything to do your job.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01You know, if you're a road service mechanic and you show up to change my fucking tire on the highway and then ask me for a jack, we got a problem.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_01You know, where do you keep your floor jack? In my fucking garage. You're supposed to have one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if I had a floor jack, I'd have the fucking tire up right now.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if even then then. I don't know as if I would. When's the last time you changed a tire? On the side of the road? Anywhere.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I've done it here not too long ago.
SPEAKER_01No, I rotated mine a while ago, and then I had to call a son-in-law out and have him fucking I ain't got it in me anymore to get it up there. I hear you get them lined up. Well, go to that one nut thing like the F1 cars. Yeah, I could probably do that.
SPEAKER_00We actually change a fair amount of tires at work, so I do it. Do you really often, yeah. Yeah. Rolling on the shoulder of the road highway, you pick up a bunch of shit all the time, and you're always changing tires on pickups.
SPEAKER_01Tire and rim or yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Then they just get them repaired and go into spares.
SPEAKER_01So Oh, just plug them or patch them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they plug plug them.
SPEAKER_01Um states. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the old cheer team. 22-point lead. Nice. Boom, done. So talking your garbage. Oh, it's huge.
SPEAKER_00That's a big deal.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for Retrospec Division I, eight teams, there is like four points between first and eighth.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Shared a little thing on Facebook about the MHSA, wrote it up. Oddly enough. Anywho, I shared that. I'm happy for the girls. They did a great job. Kicked some ass. Well, today I share this uh article. And it's them talking, and then uh they talked to my kid actually. She's got a little quote in the article.
SPEAKER_00Oh, nice.
SPEAKER_01And it says, says Ava Simon, senior P Wamo. Okay. Well, then down as you get down there further, it says uh you know, the five seniors on the team, and it lists them off. Uh Taryn, Carson, uh Leslie, Brianna. Oh, I gotta get them all. No.
SPEAKER_00And Ava.
SPEAKER_01Is that five? Yeah. Yeah. And Ava. But they didn't say and Ava. They said and Simmon. So my wife and my kid both say, Do you see that? They didn't, they just called me Simon.
SPEAKER_00That means you're big time.
SPEAKER_01Well, they did that because they already mentioned you and it's the same paragraph. Right. I had to explain. I never thought I would be one to explain the English literature to people. It felt really good. Not as good as that apology, but it felt good.
SPEAKER_00You know, and so they teach you to listen in Powham, but they don't teach you how to write an article.
SPEAKER_01Well, there you go. You know, yeah, but we can listen to one.
SPEAKER_00Maybe.
SPEAKER_01When I was driving over the road, I was big on books on tape well there on CD at the time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Not me.
SPEAKER_01No? No. You're just music?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Or quiet. I'd like to talk to myself. See how I get the right answer because I can't call I can't apologize to myself for being wrong.
SPEAKER_01How many times you beat yourself up arguing? I told you 130, motherfucker. You'll drive around in silence?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, a lot of times. Doesn't bother me none.
SPEAKER_01No. I guess I'd I guess I kind of do a lot. If somebody calls me and then they hang up, I just drift and yeah. Yeah. Usually in the afternoon, though.
SPEAKER_00Reflect on the conversation you had with that person.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Huh. Well, last week we had kick-ass spring weather. Beautiful.
SPEAKER_01Look how wet it is out there. Yeah. And cold.
SPEAKER_00It's it's cold, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, even when you had the two two or three seventy degree days, uh huh. If you were in the wind, that was an arctic fucking.
SPEAKER_00I still had a ho I still had a long sleeve shirt on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00When it was 70. Saw a few twats in their t-shirts, but sauce people out on the motorcycles, which a little early for that. Too much salt on the road. A little early for me. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01We need more rain before.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Which we got plenty.
SPEAKER_01You know, my once-a year cleaning. I don't want to spend it getting salt off of there. You do a pretty good job taking keeping yours clean though, don't you?
SPEAKER_00Uh I try to wash it every once in a while, but it living on a dirt road, it's it's nearly impossible to keep clean.
SPEAKER_01Be honest, you know, the thing is too, is I like it when it's clean. I love it. Oh boy, that looks good. Yeah. But I wash it Friday night, and you call and say, hey, what time are we meeting for breakfast in the morning?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01Eight o'clock.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, goddammit, by 9 15. It's filthy. Why'd I bother? Especially because you like to take us down fucking dirt roads all the time. Oh, I'm not gonna do that this year. I'm I'm writing off dirt roads. Um but yeah, it's it's fucked up how dirty it gets. You don't notice your car like that.
SPEAKER_00No. They're obviously darker in color, but it I don't know. It just it mine can sit in the closed garage. And just claim it. And it's filthy when when you go to get it out because the dirt road, all the dust flies up in the air. It it's just it's a it's a pain in the ass.
SPEAKER_01It is.
SPEAKER_00So I try to wash I definitely wash it more than I do my truck.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say, I don't know as if I've ever seen your truck with a bath.
SPEAKER_00It doesn't. I mean you live under a road. It's fucking mud every day.
SPEAKER_01Um check the oil on the bike.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I usually check that.
SPEAKER_01Check it in the truck?
SPEAKER_00Not as often.
SPEAKER_01Harder to hear a tick in the diesel. That's alright.
SPEAKER_00Oh. Um we got regionals coming up for wrestling this weekend.
SPEAKER_01And Mason.
SPEAKER_00Yep. And then uh season's nearing an end.
SPEAKER_01So right now, well, we just had the cheer states. This weekend it should be basketball states. And then you got wrestling states the following weekend.
SPEAKER_00No, r school based wrestling is done. Oh. That's all done.
SPEAKER_01It is? Yeah. When did that all end? Uh last weekend was the um Oh, so it's all everything, all the fall sports are right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they all kind of come to a head at the same time.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so this is uh Oh, I forget what you call it. It's called My Way. My way, yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's uh like club wrestling.
SPEAKER_01But uh yeah, so we got regionals this weekend and then Are you gonna stay in that or are you gonna go play for the school full time?
SPEAKER_00Oh, next year he'll be in the school because he'll be middle school. Um school-based wrestling doesn't start until middle school. Oh so you can't wrestle for the school until you're middle schooler.
SPEAKER_01So that's I was on TV Saturday night at the restaurant we were eating. It's hard to believe that there's full grown I call them full grown because they're college age kids. 132 pounds.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I know.
SPEAKER_01How the fuck did that happen?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What is heavy?
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Do they go over 200?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, there's there's two what is it?
SPEAKER_01And why is it such an odd number? I think the one we were watching was 133 or 137.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they're they're all goofy numbers. They all are. Yeah. No, I mean, not all of them, but a lot of them.
SPEAKER_01Why don't you 135 at her 140?
SPEAKER_00I I don't know what the reasoning is for that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's the first time I really paid much attention to it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because like so Lucas wrestles, he'll be wrestling for the 112 weight class. But the next one down is 105.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_00And then the next one up from 112 is 119. That's just they're just weird. You wrestled, didn't you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What were you?
SPEAKER_00Fuck, that was too long ago, I don't even remember.
SPEAKER_01No. Probably what, 170s?
SPEAKER_00No, I was I was pretty skinny.
SPEAKER_01Were you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Back when I was a kid. Then the beer and the groceries got a hold of me.
SPEAKER_01Life's a bad habit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_01So what kind of life did you lead lead when you're 70 two years old and you're still in that BMI chart? I mean, really, did you have any fun?
SPEAKER_00Couldn't have. No. No.
SPEAKER_01No. Fucking John Bailey. He's a good guy. He's one of the cheer dads, but he uh just got shoulder surgery, so he's kind of hemmed up right now. But he asked me a question the other day. And I just I was taken back a little bit because what? And my physique tells you I would say yes. He says, What do you think about starting a jog with me? I want to get into running. Thinking about doing a 5k. We could get into a 5K by the end of summer. If you want to run across the road to the bar, sign me off. Let me tie my shoes. Right, but running, you you pass them all in the summertime, probably 200 fucking joggers. Uh-huh. Do you ever see one smiling?
SPEAKER_00Not many.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_00I did run cross-country when I was in school. You did? Yeah. Did you like it?
SPEAKER_01I did. Would so if you could go back, would you do cross country again or would you get into the more of the tracky track stuff?
SPEAKER_00Um.
SPEAKER_01Did you do any of that?
SPEAKER_00I did track two.
SPEAKER_01Hurdles?
SPEAKER_00I didn't know. I you know, I'm afraid to do a hurdle. Because I'm afraid to fold my ass up. I don't know if I got it in me. Hurdles confuse me.
SPEAKER_01So here's the hurdle and here's the stand.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They put it this way, and you're running towards it, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I would think put it that way, so if you catch your leg, it just It tips. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I thought that's how you thought that's how it was supposed to be.
SPEAKER_01That's what I always thought until I saw them set up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like, fuck, that hurts. Hey, somebody's gonna get fucked up.
SPEAKER_01Fuck yeah, you're gonna lose some skin.
SPEAKER_00They're gonna go ass over tea kettle. I don't I don't know. I'd I did you ever try it? I never tried one.
SPEAKER_01I never have either.
SPEAKER_00I was too scared.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it just looks like it hurts. Yeah. So what'd you run?
SPEAKER_00Um, I did the uh I was on the two mile relay. Which that went hand in hand with the cross country. And then uh I think I was on the mile relay, and then the um I think there was a two-mile run too. Can't remember.
SPEAKER_01Mile is four times around the track, correct?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I have to write that right out of the book of Brad because I d I did pretty good with it. Did you like cross country better?
SPEAKER_00I like track better. Did you? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I would not have picked you as that's why you were trying to fucking race last week. You were talking about a foot race. You probably still got your cleats, don't you?
SPEAKER_00No. What foot race?
SPEAKER_01Uh you were talking about foot racing. And uh I forget what we're talking about, but uh Oh, I'm sure Dexter will be sending a text short. Oh, I'm sure. But uh yeah, you said something about because I was talking about I thought you meant like a three-legged race.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and you were talking about just regular racing.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_01Boy, that 20-minute delay last week got you all fired.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Fuck. I'm still messed up over that. Wow.
SPEAKER_01Ah. If uh you ever find yourself much like me, sitting on the couch at night, creep your hand over there, touch the wife, and she says, like a fucking badger. So you pull your hand back. Now what are you gonna do with your hand? Let me tell you, go to the app store and get chromatic clash blast.
SPEAKER_00Chromatic is one word.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it is, with a CHR.
SPEAKER_00Chromatic Clash Blast. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Okay. And it's uh one of them games where you go doot doot doot, and you just pick like three or five of the same symbols, not mahong or mahong, whatever that is.
SPEAKER_00Oh, mahjong or whatever.
SPEAKER_01Mahjong, yeah, not that.
SPEAKER_00I like that game.
SPEAKER_01But it's kind of like that. Well then they've yeah, they got one of them too. But the chicks, as you get through this and you're clearing a board, uh-huh, they get naked. No shit. Like real naked. Like everything. Huh. Yeah. So you might want to fellas animated or is it it's one of them weird, like AI-ish, like you know it's not a real person, but it looks really real. Uh-huh. You know, uh AI of some sort.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And I kind of thought about it, Bob. When I was playing that game, uh, thought about you a little bit. Because I'm like, uh, these are pretty good AI in this game. Yeah. Well, you know what? We're kind of like AI.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Drink a lot of water, yeah. Wasting a lot of water and energy. Yep. And we tell people what things are. It's like Google could just hire us, save the planet.
SPEAKER_00That's a good point.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00Never even thought.
SPEAKER_01Everybody's losing their shit. Oh, all the water, all the energy.
SPEAKER_00So chromatic clash blast. I'm gonna try that.
SPEAKER_01Dude, try it.
SPEAKER_00I'll new game.
SPEAKER_01I'd share it on our page, but don't need to.
SPEAKER_00Don't need to have to go back to court again.
SPEAKER_01You know, that TikTok. And whoever, let's put a reward out there. We can both swing $50. Yeah. Hundred dollar reward to information that leads to hanging somebody by their fucking nuts. Yeah. Somebody's reporting us on TikTok. That we're impersonating. The only fucking thing we're impersonating is ourselves.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you know. Yeah, you go on TikTok, type in Elvis. Look at how many impersonators are on there.
SPEAKER_00Right. Right. So somebody's out to get us. That's that's the problem.
SPEAKER_01And I don't want to say who we think it is because we don't need them running. But yeah, $100 reward and a day of drinking with us if you can lead us to that cause.
SPEAKER_00So if you if anybody that's paying attention to our TikToks, we've changed our name on there. Um it just says BBPW. And that's not Bob and Brad PuaMo Westphalia. That's perpetually wrong.
SPEAKER_01That's kind of funny.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um might add knee to that. And Eaton Rapids, too.
SPEAKER_00So yeah. It's still us. We're the same people.
SPEAKER_01BBPW is not impersonating us.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So But it's kind of distraught. Well, it it's frustrating because somebody's they're limiting what our shit, what's being shown. Right. Um I can go on there as a 19-year-old girl that just got fucking railed by the football team and say, uh, I'm Vicky and I'm a good girl. And they let that shit go on. Right. They saw it, and it that's fine. But then I don't want to say who we think it is, but I think it's that goddamn. It is. It is. Yep, the Minnesotans.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01And we're not impersonating anybody.
SPEAKER_00No. No. What we do is far different from what they do.
SPEAKER_01When we got the banhammer the other week for the Durka Durka.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01I thought that was bullshit. Yeah. But I can okay. If you want to look at it as that being a racist remark, fine.
SPEAKER_00You were only okay with it because it was me that said it.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01It makes a difference. Yeah. So. But yeah, fuck this shit. And then it's bleeding into the Instagram. It's bleeding into the Facebook. Because they're all owned by the same company. Which is horse shit. Yeah. They call that a monopoly.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And those are supposed to be illegal.
SPEAKER_01And I'd say, fuck you, Zuckerberg, but I don't need to be in any more trouble.
SPEAKER_00He's gonna hear that. That fucking cock sucks. Speaking of being in trouble. Yeah. I had a little scare. You did? I did. Well from. Um Last uh last week on Saturday night, tying one on, we were over at the Diesel Tap at one of our great sponsors of the show, the Zelmers, and um we're having a good time doing a little drinking, well, a lot of drinking.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say there ain't little drinking there.
SPEAKER_00And we're talking smack, you know, the whole nine yards. Well, Brian comes out with this little blue pill. And he just says, here, take this. It was a hundred milligram agra. Now, from anything I know, and anybody that I've talked to that takes these types of pills, they're pretty pretty successful. Yeah. Well, I took it. And I never got a boner.
SPEAKER_01First off, anybody that knows zoner is you're the only motherfucker that'll do it. Hey, buddy, take this. Oh, okay. Uh-uh. You show me where it came from. He had a bottle.
SPEAKER_02So anywho, and you took it.
SPEAKER_00What happened? Well, I had a fair amount to drink Saturday. And uh I thought, yep, this motherfucker's gonna be so hard you'll be able to do chin-ups off this fucking thing. Hundred milligram viagger.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Like an iron bar.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And uh I never got a boner.
SPEAKER_02Did you tomorrow morning?
SPEAKER_00Sunday morning?
SPEAKER_02Sunday morning, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Nothing. All day during the day, Sunday? Nothing.
SPEAKER_02What'd he give you?
SPEAKER_00I'm sure that's what it was. Two things.
SPEAKER_01One. It was that big of Viagra. Then it got hard at some point and you blew a fucking line. Or it was something.
SPEAKER_00You think he gave me that shit saltpeter? Yes. What they used to give him back in the military?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Or they do it, they'd get them in jail. Prison in jail. Prison. I don't know. But Sunday, from the morning time I woke up to the time I went to bed, nothing.
SPEAKER_01You usually jerk off like six times in that time period.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I beat him a lot. Nothing. Monday morning I wake up, get ready for work. Still nothing. Nothing during the day Monday. Get back to the shop. Time to go home Monday afternoon.
SPEAKER_01You're about 36 hours in.
SPEAKER_00I'm uh I'm worried. Because if I don't have a boner, I don't have much to offer. So at this point, I might just put it on. What do you bring into this relationship? Nothing apparently anymore.
SPEAKER_01Um so I did you call a doctor or anything? Well, no. Well, the thing is, if it lasts four hours, you're supposed to call.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, who are you supposed to call if it just don't do nothing? So I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Maybe I should have taken two.
SPEAKER_01Not a good idea. No.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, so I uh I was I was overly concerned Monday afternoon.
SPEAKER_01When did it come back?
SPEAKER_00Well, I I had to take matters in my own hands. Literally. Monday? Yeah, when I got home from work. I had to make sure it still worked.
SPEAKER_01How long did it was it quick?
SPEAKER_00It was back to normal. I mean, it was like I don't know, it was like an 80% boner. Not a hundred percent boner, if if that makes sense. Oh yeah. M men will know what that means with what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_01Um That's basically the difference between being your forearm versus your finger. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So there is a difference. So I mean it was it was it was pretty much there.
SPEAKER_01So any problem, son?
SPEAKER_00No, but God, I I'm st I think I'm still what do they call it? In disarray over it?
SPEAKER_01Well, when you lose that, like you said, there ain't nothing else there to offer.
SPEAKER_00I've got nothing else to give.
SPEAKER_01Um okay, so you go over to Diesel Tap tonight, and he says, Hey buddy, take one of these. You gonna try it again? Or are you gonna just be like It depends?
SPEAKER_00Depends on how much fat to drink. Depends on what it is.
SPEAKER_01No. Do you know? Will Viagra it's got to because a lot of college kids took it for a while. Will it make a healthy guy? Does it improve things?
SPEAKER_00Well, I don't know. That was my hope because I have no problems.
SPEAKER_01But it sounds like it went backwards.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it it it reversed on me.
SPEAKER_01That's not good.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01So I think I'm done with those. Check the date on that bottle, Brian.
SPEAKER_00Oh, they're fresh.
SPEAKER_01What are you taking them for?
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Probably burned it out all them years in the truck. Ask 'em. We'll have to. I'm gonna buy that goddamn machine so we can plug a phone in.
SPEAKER_00Phone a friend. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna do that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um I'm glad it's all back to normal though.
SPEAKER_00I mean, it's 95% back to normal. I'm gonna try it out tonight.
SPEAKER_01Oh, not the pill. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna make sure, make sure the um you we can't figure out prescription drugs to save our ass. You know? I had the idea of the biggest.
SPEAKER_02Oh, fuck.
SPEAKER_01Uh when you're talking about the sex stuff. Have you been getting a lot of reels lately where uh they ask a girl, hey, what's your body count? And she acts like a ditzy ass. And she says, I don't know. Oh my god, I don't know. It doesn't really matter to. You know she's lying. Liar. So why? If it doesn't matter, it shouldn't matter. And I think we're just past her, and we might just be in the thick of it. Woman's Day, International Women's Day, that was this week. Oh. Sunday, Monday, maybe today, I don't know. But they always say it doesn't matter. But they lie about it.
SPEAKER_00So then it does matter. Otherwise, you wouldn't lie.
SPEAKER_01My thought. Yeah. Why would you lie about something that doesn't matter?
SPEAKER_00Because you don't want anybody to think that you're a whore.
SPEAKER_01Waste the boot up. And that that's kind of some disdain there too, because if a dude goes out and bangs 40 chicks in a weekend, good job. Yeah. His pill was working.
SPEAKER_00But what what what is at what point is it that you are a whore or you're not a whore? What's the number? Well, what's the limit? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I mean, so let's say 110 dudes. Okay. Well, a chick that's been dating for five years has had it 110 times. At least.
SPEAKER_00By the same dude. Right. Should be.
SPEAKER_01But does it is it the use or is it the people that the people.
SPEAKER_00It's uh it's uh it's definitely the people.
SPEAKER_01So then why the people but why what's your what do you think is too many? I don't know. Because you gotta look at age, you gotta look at time span.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, were you in a relationship for five years and then uh you know with one guy and then cut loose eight years down the you know, eight years into the whole deal ordeal, you got 110. Yeah, you're probably a fucking skank. Well, yeah, I mean I mean that is a clue, right? Yeah. Um I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't know either. But how many guys have you fucked? Uh none. Oh, okay. To date. Depends on how much you drink. Need another beer? Nope. Let's do shots.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But is there a certain number where a guy could have that same number? And you'd be like, whoa, dude.
SPEAKER_00No, because he's one of us. The women would say, oh yeah, if he's been with six different sixteen different women, he's a s he's a slot.
SPEAKER_01Now, do you believe in that whole if a girl tells you her number, you double it. If a guy tells you his number, you cut it in half.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You think that's true?
SPEAKER_00I think there's I think there's a fair amount of truth to it.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I don't overshoot.
SPEAKER_00But I also think that in today's day and age, the numbers are way higher than they were twenty years ago. You think so? Because it's it's more accessible for with all the different apps that they have, like the Tinders and all that stuff. Like Ain't nobody looking for love on Tinder.
SPEAKER_01No, they're just looking to bag something.
SPEAKER_00Unless they have the same idea that love is that white shit that comes out of the tip of your dick.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean that's love. Nobody's looking for a if you're on Tinder looking for a serious relationship, you might want to go elsewhere.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're gonna want to go elsewhere because he ain't calling you back. Well, maybe once.
SPEAKER_00Right. Depends on how good you did.
SPEAKER_01I'll bet though. You say that, I'm agreeing with you. But I'll bet with all the people we know that when we we met them and we're like, oh, how'd you guys meet? And they say, Oh, match.com. Uh maybe they did. But I'll bet somebody that we know met on Tinder and it worked out.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01No, there's some guys that hey, they got some, now they're glued to her. And no matter what she does, they don't do nothing, you know. Yeah, that's true.
SPEAKER_00So I mean so there the there are some success rates out there, I'm sure.
SPEAKER_01But I'll bet it's low.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I mean you start talking percentages and now does that matter to you, the number?
SPEAKER_01Like, you're gonna you're at the bar, you're kinda hanging out with this chick, and she says, Let's go back to my place because I need to do the two century club. You know, you'll be number 200. Does that put you off?
SPEAKER_00I'm not trying to marry the bitch, so nope.
SPEAKER_01See, so then you got your other half the liars, the guys that say, Oh yeah, that's no way. Oh, please, dude. What are you out here looking for?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, are you trying to marry him? Or are you are you are you looking for something stable or are you looking for something one off? And the time being.
SPEAKER_01And I'll tell you, when I first got married and we were going to the bar, that was a whole different way of going to the bar.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know what I mean? Yeah. Used to be you'd go there and you'd pick a fizzing one out. Yeah. And now it's like, well, fuck, I don't need to. What do we do here?
SPEAKER_00Drink.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Just sit here and drink it. It was kind of confusing for a little bit, but then all of a sudden you realize what conversation is and music, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Just different not going out there.
SPEAKER_00That's why your listening skills are so good. Probably is. I still swear I said 130.
SPEAKER_01No, you did not. 120, 120. Um, on the same note, what do you think what is too much of an age difference? And is it different if the man's older versus the girl's older?
SPEAKER_00Well, that's gonna be situational based on are you in your teens, 20s, or are you in your 30s, 40s, or you're in your 50s, 60s?
SPEAKER_01Pick us. We're let's split us in half and say we're 45.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01What's too young to date?
SPEAKER_00Nothing.
SPEAKER_01You think 18's fine?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, le well, yeah. Not not kids. Right.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, I mean gotta keep it legal.
SPEAKER_00No, I mean, you if if you want to go and have some fun with a 19, 20 year old. Yeah. Yeah. But fun-wise, I'm all right. I I wouldn't even consider fucking dating one.
SPEAKER_01There's people that do. And it's like, what do you guys even talk about?
SPEAKER_00It's because they want to show off. Like, oh, I got this hot little 19-year-old. What's in it for her then? His money. He's gotta be rich. Yeah, his money. I mean, but you can't. They're too immature at that point.
SPEAKER_01No, so yeah, you're not gonna go far with it. No, you go the other way.
SPEAKER_0090. Could you fuck yeah, 90. All day long. Fucking and you think that'd be fine? I'd be a hundred percent okay with it. Really? Yep. I'd never be so happy to have grilled cheese in my life.
SPEAKER_01That is fucked up, though. That's old. That's 50 fucking years. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So what? It'd be like brand new.
SPEAKER_01Could be. Or you flash back to the old county issue and I mean, I don't know. I mean, it sickens me when I see somebody, you know, 45, 50 years old with like a 20-year-old. It's just like, how?
SPEAKER_00Right. Yeah. I mean, it you you don't have anything in common. You know. Because if you're if you're a 50-year-old man and you're on the same level as a 19-year-old, 20-year-old girl. You got an issue. You're fucking immature.
SPEAKER_01You know, you go to her party, she goes to your parties, yes. Bringing her to my party, fuck yeah, look what Brad's doing.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01But I go to their party, I am gonna feel old.
SPEAKER_00Right. Who's who's the grandpa? Yeah. Yeah. You know. And then, but then there are guys that are our age, or anywhere in between us, that act like they're still fucking 18 years old. Oh, they're not. And they are fucking, they drive me nuts. Yup. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01I cannot. Oh, fucking Joe Cool. Fucking.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Fuck you, fucking fucks. And uh, what really drives me nuts with the douchebags are the ones that wear their sunglasses backwards on their ears. Uh drives me fucking bad shit crazy.
SPEAKER_00You know, I know when my sunglasses are like that. When I'm fucking bent over doing something, they fucking flip off. Flip off. Yeah. That's when they get like that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I I got you. Yeah, there is a lot of douchey dudes. So I'd say there's more dudes that are useless than there are women. Oh yeah. Hands down. Yeah. And they think there's something.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Yep.
SPEAKER_01Drives them nuts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And don't call me bruh. If you're over fucking 28, 29, do not call me bruh. I had that last summer at some fucking gas station. Yeah. Hey bruh. I hope you bruh. What the fuck? And he is older than me. What? Yeah, he was old. Oh, Jesus. Straight bill hats, I can't get into them. No. Some people look good in them. No. But that's a young kid thing, too.
SPEAKER_00Nobody looks good on a straight-billed hat. You ain't. Them motherfuckers all need a curve to them.
SPEAKER_01How do you sit on a visor? I don't like visor people.
SPEAKER_00Old people with visors I'm fine with.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Retired type. Yeah. And older. Yeah, but not I don't like it.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01It's not a good look.
SPEAKER_00No. Now I should get one of the visors that have the hair through the top of it.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, now those look kind of cool. That way, I got it. The spiky.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh skinny jeans. No. Any of those guys. You know, what are you even if you're 24, you shouldn't be wearing skinny jeans.
SPEAKER_00No man should be wearing skinny jeans.
SPEAKER_01Oh, they shouldn't. Period. Have you seen their fucking big jeans that are coming out getting popular with the girls? Um you can't tell they got an ass. You can't tell they got legs in there. They're just oversized. Like bell bottoms? It'd be like wearing uh um bibs, but you cut the top half. Oh just really loose. And I don't know. I saw one of the cheer coaches had on a pair of them pants the other day. No.
SPEAKER_00I have seen. I know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I will have to say. I mean, she filled out the ass part of them baggy jeans like you wonder. But I don't like that overall look.
SPEAKER_03No, I don't either.
SPEAKER_01I don't like it when the buttons are up here underneath the nipples, you know. Lowering them down a little bit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Low rise. Let your teabag hang or your teabag hang out. Yeah. Fucking.
SPEAKER_01God, you got me caught up on the douche, guys, now. Sorry. I'm just spinning through half the fucking people I see. Anywho.
SPEAKER_00Well while we got everybody listening.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00June 6th, we got the big motorcycle ride coming up.
SPEAKER_01Hey, we've been getting some replies to that. Yes. Yes. That's 616-528-8293. Text the number in the vehicle if you're coming along. Um, my last count between Facebook and our text.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01We've got 38 people coming.
SPEAKER_00Nice.
SPEAKER_01Now that can fall off. Yeah. But I hope it gets a little bigger. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, how many how many bikes?
SPEAKER_01Um, it worked out to where there's like 14 bikes. And how many vehicles? Most of them had two people each. The vehicles were just two vehicles so far.
SPEAKER_00Did I catch that some dildo wanted to bring their Tesla and stop and charge it along the way?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Where's the charging points that we can stop to plug in my Tesla? Oh my God. How about fucking getting out, giving up your man card? We'll plug you in. You know, because he'd probably stare at us too. Uh that needs to be plugged in.
SPEAKER_00I'll tell you what. I'll bring my generator and we'll put it in the frunk of that motherfucker. And they can charge it while they drive tired.
SPEAKER_01What the fuck? Bring your goddamn Tesla. Oh. That's never gonna catch on to me, the whole electric thing.
SPEAKER_00Oh no. I will say though that I've ridden in the Tesla. It's actually pretty nice. Is it quiet?
SPEAKER_01Very road noise quiet?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, very. If I didn't have a need for you know, if I if I had another vehicle aside for my pickup, and I just was driving it, you know, short distances, I think it's a pretty nice car. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_01I wouldn't let you plug into my house when you came over.
SPEAKER_00You would too.
SPEAKER_01Park it out back and use the long cord. I parked at a charging station over at the wagon wheel the other month, two months ago. It's the only parking spot available. Was Darius Rucker there? Rock me like a wagon wheel. No, no, he wasn't. But I pull in there, I park there. There's another port right there. Yeah. Odds of getting more than one fucking charging vehicle there slim to none.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01We come out and a guy's plugging in his thing and he says, Well, that's not an electric vehicle at all. And I said, Did I prevent you from parking and charging? No, this side was open. I said, Then why are you being a cock?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Boy, you had a bad dinner, didn't you? No, I did not.
SPEAKER_00But I had a great dinner. I had a dickhead that I had to deal with after dinner.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Fucking shove it up your ass. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You know.
SPEAKER_01And how how much does it cost? Mr. Tesla, send us an email or a text. I want to know what that really truly did to your electric bill. I'm curious. And I've get I get numbers all over the fucking. You Google it, the numbers are. Oh, it cost me fucking $400 a day. Oh, it costs me six dollars a month.
SPEAKER_00I think when you go to like one of the charging stations at Meyer.
SPEAKER_01You just swipe your card, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Or it's it's an app on your phone or whatever. But I think, and I could be wrong, but I think it's right around like fifty or sixty bucks to get a full charge. Oh fuck. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's like three hundred and twenty miles.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's equivalent to how much it's gonna cost me to run in gas. But guess what? When I get to the fucking diesel pump and I fill up after I wait for the cocksucker with a gasser. In my way, and I have to go in and get my fucking receipt out of the fucking cash register, then 15 minutes, and I'm down the road to get a full charge over at the at the charging station. You're probably about 45 minutes or so.
SPEAKER_01Drinking a lot of beers.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Speaking of you and your gas pump, got an email, and the email says, quote, Bobby is not the only MFR trying to use a gas pump. First off, they're wrong because you weren't trying to use the gas pump. Correct. So that's my defense there. I'm defending you. I appreciate that. I was trying to receive. I read it and I was like, you know, for as much as he bitches about the gas pumps, this listener is not wrong. Because you just expect it to look like Moses parting the seas when you pull into Speedway. Just everybody find a parking spot. Bob wants to cruise around his pump.
SPEAKER_00Not the case at all. Who sent that?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. The first name was Bailey.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't know, Bailey.
SPEAKER_00Hi Bailey. Go fuck yourself. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think we get a lot of fake emails because they're all Gmail. And Gmail tends to be a spam.
SPEAKER_00I use Gmail.
SPEAKER_01Well, now that I know that, I'll stop deleting it and I'll respond.
SPEAKER_00Jesus Christ. Well, Bailey. Yeah. I am the only motherfucker using the diesel pump. So if you're in my way, get the fuck up.
SPEAKER_01Move your ass. None two. This is kind of uh could be exciting for us. Uh Stella Mai, Stella M-A-I. Uh is on only for the. Maybe that's May.
SPEAKER_00Stella May.
SPEAKER_01Stella May? That would sound better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But that's what it is. I was just thinking like Mai Tai.
SPEAKER_00Could be.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Stella May sounds better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But anywho, she's uh listening to us now.
SPEAKER_00She's a uh influencer, a creator? What would you call it?
SPEAKER_01Model.
SPEAKER_00Um uh acting model?
SPEAKER_01Mattress actress? Anywho. I should probably we should have talked to the wives before I brought this up because everybody's gonna be on pins and needles. Did they get permission? We're not gonna know till next week. But Stella May, we're gonna call her that because wants to know if me and Bob would collaborate.
SPEAKER_00Stop and listen.
SPEAKER_01Ice ice baby.
SPEAKER_00Ding ding ding d-ding ding.
SPEAKER_01So immediately, collaborate. Fuck yeah, that'll get her name out there.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01So what are you thinking? And she says, Well, you guys seem like a lot of fun. We are. Well, we are. Um you guys aren't that old. We're not. But I was thinking about, I don't know, soft and sensual, um threesome type thing. And I went, whoa. We went from collaborate to making content.
SPEAKER_00Now, this is the first time hearing of any of this.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm sharing it with you in front of everybody.
SPEAKER_00Oh well.
SPEAKER_01Now, if we could get um collaborating on the OnlyFans, we could potentially skyrocket. We're in what, nine countries or ten now? Ten. We could be in fifteen. Easy. Easy. And I don't know how to ask about that. Well, I think you just did because they want us to do good at this. They want us to get more bigger and more popular. Yeah. And I don't know if you've checked your mailbox lately, but the offers for getting us out there.
SPEAKER_00They're not showing up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. It's a little bleak. Stella May threw a what do you call that? Through a olive league? Olive? Olive branch. Olive branch. Instead of the olive branch. Yes. Should we take her up on it? I mean, I gotta, of course, get permission. Signed documents notarized from the wife. Because she's gonna hear this and she's just gonna be like, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00Well, you know a notary.
SPEAKER_01We do.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Get your stamp ready, boss. Yep. Because I think they're gonna both say, fuck yeah, it's a good idea.
SPEAKER_00I'm I guess I'm kind of dumbfounded right now. Let me put you in a place.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Frame of mind.
SPEAKER_02All right.
SPEAKER_01Grab this table like this. Uh-huh. All right. Yep. That table right now.
SPEAKER_00Stella. Yes. I can't look at you, Brad. I can't look at you.
SPEAKER_01Everybody will see it. And she said that she'd put our website and everything on there so everybody could click a link.
SPEAKER_00I got an idea.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00If we were to do that.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00Do you think we could arm wrestle on our back?
SPEAKER_01Oh, we could. We could. And then just so the wives know that we're not making content, we're not enjoying ourselves, they could be there dressed up like ring judges and judge our arm wrestling. Yeah. Yeah. Like over here. Out of the camera, of course.
SPEAKER_00No baseball bats.
SPEAKER_01No. So I think it's going to be a hard sell, but it'll get our name out there, and I think we gotta pursue that avenue and just see what they say.
SPEAKER_00You know, sometimes you gotta take a bite out of the shit sandwich to get the job done.
SPEAKER_01God damn right you do. And that's the last thing I thought they'd ask to do.
SPEAKER_03Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Who might have turned down somebody's dreams? True. The only problem I got is if they said yes and we did this, where do you draw the line? I don't need more content creators coming after us. Hey, we want you to.
SPEAKER_00We saw what you guys did.
SPEAKER_01Right. Can you do that with me? No. No. This was a one-off. Yeah. Well, hold on. Let me ask the wife.
SPEAKER_00I uh So I know I sprung it on you.
SPEAKER_01Typically, we will discuss some of the shit we're talking about before. Not this. But no, I wanted to drop this.
SPEAKER_00You wanted to drop the hammer boom. Woo!
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I know.
SPEAKER_00Well, this beer's tasting awful good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, from Detroit.
unknownHuh.
SPEAKER_01So it ain't like we gotta ask for gas money, too.
SPEAKER_00Or plane tickets or anything like that. Jeez.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, we could travel costs are pretty low.
SPEAKER_01Although that's starting to get pricey, too.
SPEAKER_00Five dollars a gallon for diesel.
SPEAKER_01Dude. Ain't been since fucking COVID that we've been that high.
SPEAKER_00What else for emails have you gotten over the past week?
SPEAKER_01Mr. Witt.
SPEAKER_00Ah, he's always good for a good email. You know what? Always good. Always look forward to his emails.
SPEAKER_01Um he uh we're talking about like burgers and shit the other night. And he would like to put Speedway on that board, the gas stations. And uh I'm gonna agree with him because those are some pretty goddamn good burgers. Speedway pizza's pretty good too, for that matter. Um as far as going traveling down to the U.S., Flying J loves eat shit. I will go to Speedway because they do have the best shit food.
SPEAKER_00Speedway does have good burgers.
SPEAKER_01They do. Their pizzas are good. Uh I ain't had the chicken, but I heard the chicken strips tend to.
SPEAKER_00No, are you talking when you're talking Speedway? Because there's there's two different deals here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00There's the Speedway Cafe.
SPEAKER_01I have not eaten that one of them yet.
SPEAKER_00I have, and those burgers are even better.
SPEAKER_01Are they really? More like a real burger?
SPEAKER_00It's still a it's still a fucking gas station burger, no matter how you how you doctor it up. But um yeah, the Speedway Cafes are actually pretty good. So long as you can get motherfuckers to work on there.
SPEAKER_01I was just gonna ask that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Do you wait long once they do help you?
SPEAKER_00Not usually. It's pretty quick.
SPEAKER_01Oh. The other thing he brought up was uh I don't have my glasses on. Uh-huh. So pardon me as I read through this email. Thanks for the tip. I spelled coconut, and it went over so frickin' well that I'm kind of nervous to try.
SPEAKER_00Zucchini.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I remember you saying that.
SPEAKER_01I'm glad we could help him out with that. Uh-huh. Or he might have just, yeah. I don't know. I embellish on some of these emails. May not have said that much anyway, but uh.
SPEAKER_00What else did he have in there?
SPEAKER_01Oh god. He uh he thinks that at our bike thing we should uh pass around a hat for charity.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01And then he said the gays and trans would love your donation. I'm all about the charity.
SPEAKER_00I think he said gays and lesbians.
SPEAKER_01May have. That's different.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01But how do you what do you do? Do you just find one and say, hey, take this money and go out for the night? I mean, what what are you donating to? But I'm all about charity. I wouldn't be afraid to tell everybody, hey, throw a $20 bill on that table and we'll pull it all together and we'll give it to somebody.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Something.
SPEAKER_00You know what else we should do? We should auction off signed Bob and Brad t-shirts. Oh.
SPEAKER_01That's a cool idea.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Can you let me hear you auction?
SPEAKER_00I'ma bid, I'm gonna bid, I'm gonna bid. Can I get $10, $10, $10? I'm gonna bid, I'm gonna. Start out higher. Can I get $60? There we go.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna bid, I'm gonna bid. There we go. We gotta pay for the shirt. That's right. Oh, I've been um that's something else I'd like our listeners to. So it's been one week since you looked at me. That's a good song.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Bare naked lace.
SPEAKER_01You know, the other one that I really like is um. I'm falling. Where are he talking about? I made you say underwear. Oh you know the same guys. Yeah, running through the sprinkler. Yeah. Socks on. They got a lot of good songs. They really do.
SPEAKER_00Um sorry.
SPEAKER_01$60, $60. Fucking dick. You said it's been one. Coolie cups.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01I've been looking at getting Coolie Cups with our circle logo on one side.
SPEAKER_00Two are on the other side out there that nobody's found yet.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we still got four more. Start drinking, motherfuckers. You'll find them. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um we basically tell everybody where we go. Those were expensive. I know.
SPEAKER_01And all I'm finding is $1.50 a piece for just the sleeves. When I bought that big batch 10, 12 years ago, it was like 40 cents a piece.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm I'm cool with that. So if you guys know anybody that can make like cheap coolies that are quality. Affordable. Affordable. We don't want cheap. No. We want affordable. Affordable. And some t-shirts at a good rate. Fuck. I'd say this is a new couple of guys trying to do a podcast. We should just donate them, but that's me.
SPEAKER_00I know a t-shirt maker. There's only one problem, Brad. She only likes one of us.
SPEAKER_01You, I bet.
SPEAKER_00It's definitely not you. Who is it? Oh I don't know. She might have a little drinker problem. Oh, Katie.
SPEAKER_01Katie, my girl. It's time we bury that hatchet.
SPEAKER_00Over a beer. Over a beer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she's holding on to that, ain't she?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01Jesus Christ. You know.
SPEAKER_00They were just down in Florida doing a little uh adult vacation. Just the two of them. Um they have some friends that go down there for a long period of time and for the w during the winter, and then they go down and visit with them and have a long weekend and I think or maybe a whole week, I don't know. But uh yeah, they just got back not too long ago from that.
SPEAKER_01They have a good time.
SPEAKER_00I'm assuming so. I haven't I haven't changed to talk to them now, but um that'd be nice.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. We go down two weeks, I think. Spring break. Uh gonna do Disney again.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for the invite.
SPEAKER_01House is full.
SPEAKER_00Oh. But no hotels nearby?
SPEAKER_01You know what? Whole time we're down there, I don't know if I ever saw a hotel. You used to live down around there. I did. When you pick out that Orlando area, do they hide the hotels behind stuff? No, there's lots of hotels. Is that a whole strip driving down there? Fuck, I had a hell of a time finding different restaurants. You you see all these chain restaurants, but I don't like them when I'm on vacation. I want to go to a real one. Well, you gotta like go back a block to find those. Right. It's funny how big money comes in and just all commercialized. Crock as shit, really. It is. You know, Ma and Pot were here first, letting them have the front row.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Your building's bigger, they'll see you.
SPEAKER_01Are you that way too, though? Because like, I'm not gonna drive 2,000 fucking miles to eat a Texas Roadhouse.
SPEAKER_00No. No, absolutely not. Yeah, I want Well, when we were on our bike trip last year.
SPEAKER_01Oh, god damn, that was a good fucking breakfast place that we went to. Yeah, I cannot remember the name of it. I can't either, but boy, they were good. It was. And you got a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_00We went there twice because it was so good.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it was.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Still getting. And I can't give Katie a lot of shit for holding on to that fucking chip on her shoulder because my wife took a header in the bleachers the other day and hurt her foot.
SPEAKER_00Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01You know whose fault that was? Yours, of course. Oh, yeah, it was. I didn't help her up right away or nothing. Uh I saw what she did. She was prancing around like a crackhead, stepped on a bleacher seat, bleacher seat kicked out, she fell down.
SPEAKER_00Down goes Fraser.
SPEAKER_01And I went, Yeah, well, she'll figure it out. Well, the reason her foot hurts so goddamn bad now, still, is it never properly healed from when I dumped her off the bike. Oh my god, do you let go of anything? That was the slowest dumping of a bike I've ever had.
SPEAKER_00No, it was not slow. I felt like it was slow. No, it was it was extremely fast. Was it? Something about that uh clay down there. Slippery shit, dude. Yeah, slicker and goose shit. Yeah, that was not slow.
SPEAKER_01Oh, fuck. And then you had to park yours. Try to. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I was thinking about that today because it's been fucking pouring rain all day. I thought, man. I ought to see if Brad wants to go for a motorcycle ride since he only wants to fucking ride in the rain.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it rained a couple times on us.
SPEAKER_00It rained every day we were riding.
SPEAKER_01But all the riding we've done up here, I've never led you to the rain. I've led you close.
SPEAKER_00Sprinkles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, what do you think? Uh skip Baldwin this year? Find something better to do? I'm really not. It's 20 years ago, it was really something. Ten years ago it was eh. Five years ago, yeah. Last two years it's it's a garbage sale.
SPEAKER_00Well, and it's it's gotten less and less and less and less. And I mean, the ride's nice. We have a good time riding to and from. Right. We can do that anytime. I mean, yeah. And it chances are it's either gonna rain or fucking snow. It's gonna be one or the other. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I just it's really kind of not I'm okay not going to it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I wish But I do want to do Muskegon again. I that's always a good thing.
SPEAKER_01Muskegon's always kind of fun. Yeah, I really think it is. Yeah, it's the beer tent, the band.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I've got to write them a letter and see if they'll bring back that uh Bob Seeger cover band.
SPEAKER_00I really like the really good job. They were good. They did a really good job.
SPEAKER_01They were very good. Yeah. Um last year I don't remember. Did we stay for any music last year?
SPEAKER_00Yes. Uh, what the hell were they? We we weren't there for a long time.
SPEAKER_01They were kind of a rock country, right?
SPEAKER_00But didn't we leave and come back? Yeah, we did. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yep. Yep. Yeah. Uh that's all that is that's pretty decent time. Um bike season's coming. I just fuck. You know, what do the people in Florida and California look forward to? They they got it all the time.
SPEAKER_00Hurricanes.
SPEAKER_01I guess. Can't wait for hurricane season. Yeah, I don't.
SPEAKER_00I had the day off today.
SPEAKER_01What'd you do?
SPEAKER_00Um, well I had a Lucas had a doctor's appointment, so I took him to that first thing this morning and then uh and then we uh I dropped him off to school and grabbed myself a little breakfast and uh come back home and then uh how's that sound? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Sounds like dripping.
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Something pump in that room?
SPEAKER_00No. I don't know. Anyway, so got some breakfast, come back home, got my shop clothes on, went went down to the shop. It's been neglected down there for a little while.
SPEAKER_01Um I was in there last year and I was distraught.
SPEAKER_00Looked like a fucking bomb of God.
SPEAKER_01I was in there last summer. I said, there's no way this guy is this messy.
SPEAKER_00But I can tell you where just about everything's at. Which is good and you should. If you say, hey, I need this or I need that, oh, hold on. And I can walk right to it.
SPEAKER_01I need that 10 millimeter socket. Oh, it's still on top of the idler pulley on the lawnmower.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Why don't you hear me out?
SPEAKER_00I'm listening.
SPEAKER_01These are my sockets. Uh huh. I'm going over here to do a job. Use it, use it, use it. That feels good. Job well done. Yeah. I gather up my sockets and I put them back in the box.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Why don't you? I'll tell you why. I'd like to know because sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. 90% of the time I think something's gonna take this long, and I have something going right after that job is supposed to be done.
SPEAKER_02So you're in a rush.
SPEAKER_00I'm always in a rush. Because as we all know, no job you do goes as smooth and as quick as you think it's gonna go.
SPEAKER_01Never once in my life.
SPEAKER_00So I've already got something up against the fucking clock that as soon as I get this done, I gotta go to the next thing. I'll get them later. I gotta go.
SPEAKER_01Later never comes. No. Drives you nuts. And why do we do that? Too. Why do we do that? I don't know. Because I'm gonna go out there. I'm just gonna change the brakes on the truck. Should take an hour.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Two and a half later.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Do you want to go at four o'clock? Should I tell them we'll meet them there? Fuck yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I have this whipped up, cleaned up, showered up, ready to go.
SPEAKER_01When are we as men gonna learn to say, let's see how this goes? I mean, that sounds stupid.
SPEAKER_00I'll tell you why. Because guys like us are always trying to make it. Too many beers on Friday after work.
SPEAKER_01You're not the only one that Can make songs. I like it. I'm impressed.
SPEAKER_00But we're trying to please everybody. People pleasers. And so we don't want anybody waiting on us.
SPEAKER_01You're right.
SPEAKER_00So we're gonna get this hammered out. I know exactly what I gotta do. I'm gonna get it done. Blah, blah, blah. And we'll be on, we'll be on the road. We'll be ready to rock. It doesn't work that way. It never works out.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_00But you know what? We always find a way to get there on time.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Yep. You know, just change the brakes. You're heading out the door. You're about 10 minutes late. Getting to the end of the driveway. See a truck coming, put the brakes on. No pedal. Right to the floor. We'll be all right.
SPEAKER_00I'll stop sooner.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Somebody once, uh I think it was my cousin once told me that every job is one broken bolt away from being a three-day project.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And that is so true. Fuck. That is true.
SPEAKER_01But you know what, at the same time, I'm happy I can still do a lot of that.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01You know, there's some shit that I just can't wrap my head around, but um like the um fucking goddamn Pacifica's that the wife likes. And the last year, real bad myths and cylinder six. You know what? It's got 200,000 miles. I should probably change the spark plugs. Yeah. So I order up spark plugs and oh look, a coil pack kit with let's order coil packs. Fuck yeah. We're gonna change six spark plugs and six fucking coil packs. I open the hood of that thing and I look. What the fuck? Pop the plastic plant them off. I ain't got a clue where the fucking three spark plugs in the front are. I'm not even looking at the back ones yet. Right. Where the fuck are they? So I go to Google. Turns out that you gotta pull the fucking intake manifold off to get to them front three. They're inside the fucking intake.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's convenient.
SPEAKER_01What in the fuck?
SPEAKER_00It's an engineer that works for the company that thinks you're gonna bring it back to the dealer.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Fuck you. Yes. You know that fucking video I watched the other day. I was talking to buddy Jason about it, made me laugh. Kid's in there, he's doing a spinning the filter off, oil filter off, F-150. Yeah. Here's a stabilizer bar. Fucking can't slide it out. Still gotta go about four threads to get off the fucking thing. Oh. And he says, Who the fuck would design this? Very good question. So he ends up, it was uh TikTok, I think. I'm glad you got me into TikTok. There's a lot of neat shit. There is. Well, you gotta jack the fucker up, take all the pressure off so the sway bar drops. Well, they don't do that at an oil change place.
SPEAKER_00You figure they just got a big bar and they just fucking No, they got those little jacks that slide on the thing and they'll they'll lift you up. Oh, they do? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Because they they use them for like when they rotate your tires too. Because you pull over the pit. That's how an oil change place does it. Yeah, they got little sliding lifts that question's been answered. See that? Yeah. You didn't even have to go to TikTok for that. No, I didn't. I am TikTok.
SPEAKER_01What a motherfucker, though. One of the trucks I used to have, you pull that drain plug out, that shit shoots from here to the fucking door. And it's plastered over everything. Yeah. Well, the truck I got now, it's just got that fucking half-turned drain plug. Well, Jesus Christ. It does? Yeah. First time I changed that. Yeah, you stick a 3A socket in there and you and it comes out. Oh, woof. I looked like the ExxonVeldez. Fucking oil everywhere. Now I put my shit under there and I reach in there as far as I can and pop it out. Still get it about here down. Yeah. But that shit comes out right. I mean, that's a six-second oil change. That's amazing. But kind of a piss poor design.
SPEAKER_00You change yours? Sometimes. Yeah. It just depends. I got a little oil change story for you. Went over to our buddy Brian's house. Mm-hmm. He's going to change oil over there because we were we were doing something. And he says, just bring your shit, pull it in the shop, and he says, change it right here.
SPEAKER_01Truck.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, my pickup. And uh like, okay, cool. Yeah, I got all the stuff. So he's change it there, and then we'll we go do the run and round that we want that we're gonna do and this and that. I said, okay, cool. Well, you know them plastic uh oil catch can deals that have the heart solid top on them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, I like those.
SPEAKER_00I don't. I do not like them. Can't fucking stand them.
SPEAKER_01I bet I know what you did. Because my son-in-law, I think, may have done the same thing.
SPEAKER_00So they have a little plug right in the center.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00I wasn't paying attention. I get under there, get the fucking wrench on there, taking the drain plug out, and it never fails. I drop the fucking drain plug every single time.
SPEAKER_02We'll go in that hole.
SPEAKER_00No. Oh no, I it doesn't matter if I've got an open one or if it's one like that. Anyway, and I just got done driving the truck over there, so oil's good and hot.
SPEAKER_01It's ready to pour.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I've dropped the fucking drain plug, and I'm like, cool, whatever, I'll fish it out. It's just sitting up on top of the top of it. The fucking plastic plug where the oil drains down into the tank part of that drain plug or drain pan was still in there. And it's filling up. I'm like, fuck. So I'm in there trying to fish around. Blazing hot fucking oil, trying to trying to do that. I'm burning the fuck out of my hand. Oil's pouring over top of it all over his floor. And I'm like, now I'm fucking feel bad because I'm getting oil over his floor. Was he there when you were doing the and he's like, just just pull the motherfucker out, just under the plug. And I'm like, I'm fucking trying. Oh my god, I fucking I my hand was fucking just burned to 10 quarts of oil all over the floor. I finally got it to fucking go. Oh my god. He uh he reminds me of that often. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Son-in-law is changing oil in his car. And that's what I got is one of them things. Well, it's his fucking fault. He says it's my fault. He drops the cork on the car, fucking oil's coming out, all of a sudden the oil's just spewing all over the place. That goddamn thing was full. Well, you should have known when you carried or dragged, or however you moved that fucking oil. Wouldn't you think?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. He wants to blame me for not emptying it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What a fucking oil everywhere. Holy fuck. Yeah, it was a mess. But it is funny. A quart of oil will look like 50 gallons. Oh, yeah. It is.
SPEAKER_00It's everywhere.
SPEAKER_01Oh, have you been allowed to change your oil over there again? No. No. No. Need an oil change. Okay, we'll see you tomorrow.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I I felt terrible because I yeah, I've yeah, nice clean floor and all that. I'm out there trying to fucking wipe it all up. Oh, jeez.
SPEAKER_01You don't get it. No. No, I'm gonna cover this up so nobody hears me. But because warranty information, I don't want nothing coming back to kick your ass. So I'm gonna cover this up. You change the oil in your new bike yet? Yeah. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00I took it to the dealer for the thousand mile service. Oh you did? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01What'd they get you for on that?
SPEAKER_00Three something.
SPEAKER_01Oh, any bad. No. I hear horror stories about that. Really? Five, six hundred dollars.
SPEAKER_00I'm probably gonna take it this spring and have them do it again. Because it's at the it's rated for five thousand mile.
SPEAKER_01You still got a gift card at the one too, don't you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, all the way over in Flint. Need to buy a head pipe.
SPEAKER_01Yes, you do.
SPEAKER_00And a tuner.
SPEAKER_01Yes, you do.
SPEAKER_00And an air cleaner.
SPEAKER_01Yes, you do.
SPEAKER_00That'll be faster than you.
SPEAKER_01Probably. I don't know. I don't know. I've lost 42 pounds, so. I mean, you want to go throw parts at it to make it faster? I'm on the cheaper program.
SPEAKER_00Maybe I'd better start losing some.
SPEAKER_01Fucking thing.
SPEAKER_00I did talk to the doctor today about me when I was there with Lucas. I he says, How have you been doing? I says, I'm here. I says, honestly, not great. I said, I can't lose weight. Change my eating habits. You've been doing good. I I have. I mean, I I I eat minimal throughout the day, all low fat stuff. I said, and I told him, I says, I says, Don't get me wrong. I like my beer. I said, and I drink a fair amount of beer. I says, but I've changed all my eating habits. I feel like I should be getting something. He says, Yeah. Yeah. He said, something's going on. Um, you need to get in for a fifth time. Make an appointment? Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna call.
SPEAKER_01Get blood work and all that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00He says, we'll get you, you'll get you your blood work. We'll do all the different panels. He says, We'll see what's going on. He says, because you should have lost, you should be losing some weight. I mean, he says, he says, you're a fat fuck. If you start eating right, you should lose all kinds of weight. Well no, he didn't really say that. But he meant it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But that's uh the same boat I was in, is I kept getting bigger no matter what I did.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Fuck, dude. So get to a point. I was at 292. So I think we should push you to 297. And then start? And then start.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, fuck you.
SPEAKER_01I'm 251 now. Which gotta be about what you are, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. That's exactly what I was this morning.
SPEAKER_01That was a whole nother quarter of you.
SPEAKER_00Huh.
SPEAKER_01Don't really notice a difference.
SPEAKER_00You can see it.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I feel better, but I don't. Yeah. Still waiting on my goddamn Chinese belts. Should have ordered cores. Should've. Fuck, I could have probably went down there, went on a tour, and made my own.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Really? Here, I'd like to apply for a job so I make my own belt, then I'm gonna quit. Have the motherfucker quicker. Now I don't even know where it's at. Still been sitting in fucking uh Los Angeles for a while, then it jumped over to uh some podunk town in Tennessee. It's back in LA. Oh. I don't I don't know. I don't understand what's going on. It's coming like sideways.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00But it doesn't look windy.
SPEAKER_01Oh fuck. BCR or Zomer, one of you guys, whoever cares about us, needs to get us some umbrellas. Walking out in the fucking parking lot, kicking my ass in this weather.
SPEAKER_00You need a poncho.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. I can send you guys a logo. You can have that put on top of a big golf umbrella. Make two, please. That's what we need. We need some merch. Yeah. Um, you were talking about, you told your doctor that you like to drink a fair amount of beer. Yeah. So okay. That kind of you you do this a lot in our shows.
SPEAKER_03Uh huh.
SPEAKER_01You bring things around full circle. So somewhat.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Talking about body count. Does it matter? No, it doesn't. Why do you lie then? Because I don't want to feel like a whore. How many beers do you drink on a weekly average? Oh, I'd say about average. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Right. Isn't that funny? You know. Yeah. I mean.
SPEAKER_00I was straight up with the guy. I like my beer and I drink a fair amount of it.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, what's a fair amount?
SPEAKER_00To me versus to him.
SPEAKER_01That's where it gets tricky.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01And that's why I woke up that time with my surgery. They told me don't ever lie again about how much you drink.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I won't lie to my doctor.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I did. I don't want him thinking I'm a drunk.
SPEAKER_00We're not drunks, we're seasoned veterans.
SPEAKER_01There is a difference.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I've never. I don't miss work from drinking.
SPEAKER_01Right. Which makes you a functioning high functioning. High functioning.
SPEAKER_00Alcoholic.
SPEAKER_01So if he asked you, hey Bob, how many beers you drink a week?
SPEAKER_00Well, it depends on a week.
SPEAKER_01High week. That's what I always tell him. Always depends. Depends on what's going on. Um, you know, when we were in Hastings for that three days, I drank probably six months worth. You were not far behind. But I tapered off the next couple weeks, so it kind of makes up for it. Which oddly enough, medical people say that you are better off drinking fucking 12 a day than you are binging. Really? That's what they say. WebMD, you can fact check me.
SPEAKER_00I don't know that I trust WebMD for too much.
SPEAKER_01You think you drink 10 a day?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01No, if you average it out, you gotta average it.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01Six?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So six would be roughly twenty-eight a week. That's not even a 30-pack.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So maybe more than six pack. That's not a big deal.
SPEAKER_01Maybe more than six. It gets weird when you start trying to average it out.
SPEAKER_00Well, Saturday night I took a 12-pack with me. And I drank all those.
SPEAKER_01You gotta count what you drink in total, though. You can't just drink what you brought. Count what you brought.
SPEAKER_00I brought 12 and I drank them.
SPEAKER_01Right. And then you drank more, probably.
SPEAKER_00There was more in the fridge. Yeah, isn't that weird? And I drank some of them.
SPEAKER_0118?
SPEAKER_00I drank probably about 15, 16 beers. See, that's not bad. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think that's why they came out with the 15 pack.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01I mean, you feel like a drunk when you go through an 18-pack.
SPEAKER_00Well, you know, old Johnny Paycheck has a song. I drank 15 beers. Yes. That's a whole lot of brew for one guy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't see nothing wrong with it.
SPEAKER_00That's actually an ongoing joke with one of my brothers and I. Um we he likes the old country like I do. And uh that's one of our favorite songs.
SPEAKER_01You really like that shit. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01There's some that I like, but not a whole lot.
SPEAKER_00I do. I like it all.
SPEAKER_01Do you get into the girl part too, like the paddy uh Patsy uh?
SPEAKER_00I'm not into the I mean I listen to it, but I'm just not not into it.
SPEAKER_01You're not gonna be able to do that.
SPEAKER_00But a lot of people want to burn me at the cross because I don't much care for Johnny Cash.
SPEAKER_01Overrated.
SPEAKER_00He's got some songs that I like.
SPEAKER_01I just I've never really cash is you're right, he's got a few good songs. But every song is pretty much pretty much the same song.
SPEAKER_00Right, they are.
SPEAKER_01You know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm not a fan of that.
SPEAKER_00Now the old Hank Williams Sr.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I can't get into Hank Sr. I like Jr. Hope that mics are Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00Well, if you didn't hear that, or if you did hear that, that was Brad shitting his laundry. I may have shit. Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01Um God, I did that in the bed the other night.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I shouldn't even be talking.
SPEAKER_00Did you Dutch Evaner? Oh no, I shit. You missed the boat on that. I I was having some stomach issues. Oh, you literally shit the bed. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01Oh, and I had to fart. So I you know when it's questionable, you kind of work the cheeks and the the O-ring and you just try to sneak it out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And then it's that hot lava that comes out.
SPEAKER_01Yep. I got up disgusted with myself. Went in the bathroom, cleaned all up, came out there. And anybody that says I don't care about my wife, fuck you, I do too. I could have woke up.
SPEAKER_00You got up and made her clean it up.
SPEAKER_01I could have. But I just got an old t-shirt. I laid it over the top.
unknownOh my God.
SPEAKER_01Jumped over it and cuddled her.
SPEAKER_00Oh.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's love. She got up in the morning and said, the fuck is that? And I said, Oh.
SPEAKER_00You're going to want to change the sheets. It felt like such a fucking hog.
SPEAKER_01I've never done that.
SPEAKER_00It's one thing when it's a cum spot on the bed, but a fucking shit spot. What was I supposed to do? Wake her up?
SPEAKER_01Go sleep on the couch. And leave her in there to roll into it? Yeah. Then I could have blamed her. What did you do? You did the best. Oh, fuck. I felt like I've never done that in my life. Well, you damn near puked the other night in bed, and your wife saved that mess, didn't she?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, I actually meant to bring that up a little sooner in the episode. So a lot of people don't finish out our episodes, so they're not going to hear this good story. So you know what? That's their loss. Fuck them.
SPEAKER_01Fuck them.
SPEAKER_00Saturday night, over at the diesel tap. Drank a lot of beer. And people are going to disagree with me. I don't care. I know my body, my choice. I know my body. Okay. I have fucking allergies terrible. How bad? Something fierce. And I my allergies are flared up right now. And I'm laying in bed after drinking a good 16 beers or give or take.
SPEAKER_01We're getting closer to the truth because it keeps growing.
SPEAKER_00And I'm laying there coughing, hacking, snoring. And she says, Get up. Get up. And she turned. I've never seen this movie before. I was pretty impressed with what she did. She was on her back. She turned sideways on her back. She reared both legs back and she drop kicked my fat ass right out of the fucking bed. And I flew off that fucking bed and landed right on the floor. She says, You're gonna get sick. Get in the toilet. But it was like she reared both of them motherfuckers back and was like, boom! Fucking knocked me right off the fucking belt.
SPEAKER_01She sensed it. Like when you hear a dog going.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I fucking hit that floor and got up. I'm like, oh fuck. And I go over to the toilet and I did puke. Yeah, so it was not good. It was not the amount of alcohol. I can drink 16 beers and fucking by the time you finish.
SPEAKER_01But it's all that shit. Yeah, I hate it. Like if I didn't mind so much, I'd sleep in my chair every night sitting up. It's not so bad.
SPEAKER_00But as soon as I lay down, it just But yeah, I mean she flat drop kicked my fat ass right out of that fucking bed. Wham I was like, what the fuck? Like, where did you learn that one? Well, I I'm kinda walking up I come too a little bit because I was doing all that, coughing and hacking and all that. And then she's like, Wait, get up, get up, get up. And then when she fucking hit me, I mean it was like it it reminded me of a pinball machine when you pull that motherfucking slider back and it just fucking sends that ball all up the fucking top and around.
SPEAKER_01You were the ball.
SPEAKER_00I was the ball. Oh fucking had all the power in this.
SPEAKER_01Well good, because that could have been a big mess. Yeah, yeah. Prevented it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Cecil didn't have to lay on a t-shirt.
SPEAKER_01What a pig. You know? Oh, God. Disgusting. How about Stella May may be thinking otherwise now? If she stuck around this long. Um you live by yourself.
SPEAKER_00No. No.
SPEAKER_01Not at all.
SPEAKER_00I don't want to.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Why?
SPEAKER_00Could I do it? Yeah, if I had no choice. But I don't want to be by myself. Dog. I need interaction. I need people. Social. Yeah. I mean, if I lived by myself, I'd be a full-blown alcoholic.
SPEAKER_01With a dirty house. I've seen that shot.
SPEAKER_00With a dirty house. But I'd eat good. Boy, would I eat good. I'd have steak every night.
SPEAKER_01Somebody asked me that the other day in a roundabout way. You couldn't even live with yourself. That got me thinking, God, could I live by myself? Yeah, sure you can. I don't know what people do that live by themselves. You know, you don't see them in the bars, you don't see them at the shopping at the store.
SPEAKER_00Maybe I wouldn't have a dirty house if I live by myself because what else are you gonna do?
SPEAKER_01Right. I mean it's I don't know. It's
SPEAKER_00Say my house is dirty now. I'm just saying if you're talking about my shop. Right. That's my personal space. Yeah. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01You know, I don't want to like sound like I'm talking bad about anybody, but them people that do live alone, there's a lot of people that do. There is. Do you get lonely?
SPEAKER_00You got to. I'd have the sorest pecker you've ever seen.
SPEAKER_01Oh, just beating a dog.
SPEAKER_00I'd take 200 milligram Viagra's and I'd just that motherfucker ain't coming up till Tuesday.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know. I I just think I like having the ability to blame somebody else for something.
SPEAKER_00Well, you're good at that.
SPEAKER_01One of the best, some would say.
SPEAKER_00Back to the oil change thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00TikTok. Has a lot of valuable things. Does it? Oh, yeah, there's all kinds of hacks and shit that you learn on there. Okay. So, and I actually did this last couple times I changed my oil. You get your drain plug freed from torque to where it's finger tight. You take a zip tie. If this is the head of the drain plug, you wrap a zip tie around it right there and cinch it. So where the essentially where the wrench would go on it, but it's loose. So then you you put a zip tie on it where the wrench would go, and then you got the tail of the zip tie. That way you can just go like this with it. Oh, without getting it on your hand. And it won't drop, you won't lose the zip the bolt. Have you tried it yet? I did. The last two times. Kinda. Motherfucker, I just said the last two times I've changed my oil, and I know what the fuck I said this time. I was paying attention. I said the last time or two that I've changed my oil, I've done this.
SPEAKER_01Well, I you didn't say, like maybe it didn't work out great the first time. She tried it differently.
SPEAKER_00So it does because you can you can go like that with it, and the zip tile bring the bowl, the drain plug around, and it'll pop out, and now you got a drain plug hanging, and all your oil's dropping down your thing.
SPEAKER_01No, that's a decent idea. Yeah. It really is.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, it worked. That's a good idea. It is. You learned that from TikTok? I did.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Huh. So it worked. And I was and I was like, yeah, I'll keep doing that.
SPEAKER_01I gotta type some stuff into my TikTok to get other stuff than what I typically get on my TikTok.
SPEAKER_00Why is that?
SPEAKER_01Very my uh algorithm. I like my span to be like this. Uh-huh. Big bandwidth. I can see this stuff, I can see this stuff. It's like this.
SPEAKER_00And what is that?
SPEAKER_01Girl stuff.
SPEAKER_00My TikTok has a plethora.
SPEAKER_01Are you a bigger?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Yeah, but I watch a lot.
SPEAKER_01And it's just you gotta like the shit, right?
SPEAKER_00You don't necessarily have to like it. You just have to watch it through all the way.
SPEAKER_01And that'll kick out. That helps your algorithm out, yeah. Man, I gotta do something.
SPEAKER_00Seeing the same disrespectful women. Yes. Take care of yourself. No self-respect having women.
SPEAKER_01What have we become? Yeah. You know what a shit gonna be like in 20 50?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's just gonna be anarchy and just fucking Christ.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Be interesting.
SPEAKER_00Any plans this weekend?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um God too sure. What a pig. Um Sunday. I'm really excited about this. For uh my grandson's birthday. He he likes bugs. So Alicia Nevin hired a bug lady to come in with her collection of bugs and whatnot. I'm hoping she brings a tarantula.
SPEAKER_00Fuck that.
SPEAKER_01I've always wanted to hold on to one.
SPEAKER_00Ugh, no.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're not a spider guy.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00No. So pool as shit in the cage or the the glass thing. Oh yeah. Most things are. Don't I don't even touch it.
SPEAKER_01Would you try to pet a wolf?
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01We're up north. Come out of the bar.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And there's a wolf hanging out by the dumpster. And he's kind of just looking. You go! And you get him to run away from the wheel.
SPEAKER_00The motherfucker's looking like he's gonna come fucking bite you.
SPEAKER_01Would you try to pout one? No. Coyote. No. Don't you wonder what they feel like? Like a they're like a fucking dog. Like a big old wolf.
SPEAKER_00They're just like a fucking dog. I don't need to feel anything. I can see.
SPEAKER_01How about them things we saw down south last year? Uh the mooses. Nah. Elk.
SPEAKER_00Elk.
SPEAKER_01Would you try to? I'm afraid of the horns.
SPEAKER_00Maybe. Maybe.
SPEAKER_01You know, and I don't know. Do they kick like a horse and a cow? They might. Because I don't want to come up from behind.
SPEAKER_00Sharp hooves, too.
SPEAKER_01Do they?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Yeah, so I just.
SPEAKER_01I think I was meant to be a zoo uh zookeeper. Zookeeper.
SPEAKER_00You want me to see if they got an opening down at Potter Park?
SPEAKER_01Well, fuck, they kill everything they have.
SPEAKER_00Did you see the tiger just died?
SPEAKER_01Right? I didn't know that. But I just made the comment that they kill everything they have. They do.
SPEAKER_00Oh, the the the Mabu? Oh yeah. Tiger? Yeah. Dead? Yeah, but old age. He was like 13.
SPEAKER_01Is that pretty old for a tiger?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Seems like a lot of people.
SPEAKER_01You had a cat that was 19. 22. 22.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01He was a tiger cat. Do they still have penguins?
SPEAKER_00I don't remember.
SPEAKER_01I thought they killed them fuckers offline, bro.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, the the Potter Park just had they they just had to put down their tiger.
SPEAKER_01We're gonna have to do that this summer. We can go to the zoo.
SPEAKER_00A show on the road.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Like Toledo Zoo. I like Toledo. Detroit's pretty cool. Um that Columbus Zoo, that was pretty awesome. That's where the thing is. I don't think I've ever been to any of them big zoos. You should try it because it it is so much better.
SPEAKER_00When I was hauling pet food or pet supplies, um, I delivered to the Detroit and the Toledo Zoo.
unknownHuh.
SPEAKER_01I never thought I never thought of that that they would Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I delivered to both of them.
SPEAKER_01So they get it in bags like dog food?
SPEAKER_00Well, different types of stuff. Yeah, whatever they whatever supplies they needed, yeah. Huh. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I never I guess I didn't think about where a zoo would get it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So the the wholesale supply company is where they get it from.
SPEAKER_01That's kind of cool.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I'll tell you what, the first time I ever tried to get to the to the Toledo Zoo delivering there. Fuck me running. It was a mess. Because you don't deliver, you don't go through the front gate to deliver.
SPEAKER_01No, you don't go buy a ticket.
SPEAKER_00And there's no signs telling you zoo deliveries, nothing like that. You end up going through this fucking hood neighborhood.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you went to the backside price. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. It was a disaster.
SPEAKER_01That's a good way to die.
SPEAKER_00Well.
SPEAKER_01I didn't. Well, obviously.
SPEAKER_00But it was it was a mess. It was then there was no no directions. Nobody could tell you anything. Blah, blah. I even called and I was like running right up against the clock on when they were closing. It was it was a mess.
SPEAKER_01Stressing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but we got her done.
SPEAKER_01Where would you say your daily stress levels at? High, low, medium.
SPEAKER_00High.
SPEAKER_01Brought on about it yourself?
SPEAKER_00A lot of it.
SPEAKER_01Are you anxious?
SPEAKER_00Very.
SPEAKER_01Always? Have been?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_00I worry too much.
SPEAKER_01Always. Wife's way more anxious than me, and then you hear these people have anxiety attacks and panic attacks.
SPEAKER_00I've never been there.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what it feels like to be anxious.
SPEAKER_00I am. I'm pretty anxious.
SPEAKER_01Huh. When you're a kid?
SPEAKER_00Probably not as much.
SPEAKER_01Your mom anxious?
SPEAKER_00Oh god.
SPEAKER_01Oh. Oh, that's the root.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh. She's the biggest worry, wort, most anxious person I've ever met in my life.
SPEAKER_01For with reason?
SPEAKER_00No reason.
SPEAKER_01No?
SPEAKER_00No. Huh. No, she's she's just she worries too much.
SPEAKER_01About stuff she can't change too, right?
SPEAKER_00All the things that she can't change.
SPEAKER_01That's the biggest problem is worry about the shit you can change if you want. Yeah. But the shit you can't change, you know, you're not gonna change people.
SPEAKER_00But I let things bother me.
SPEAKER_01Do you?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't let what people say bother me. Because I don't fucking you got something to say, and I don't agree with it, you're an idiot.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00But I don't know. I just I let things bother me. If something something doesn't go the way that it should, or I thought it should, and it was obvious like why'd you do that when you should have done this? Oh that I let that bother me. And I shouldn't.
SPEAKER_01No, you shouldn't.
SPEAKER_00I should just let stupid people be stupid.
SPEAKER_01Right. Right. Katie, do not let things that you cannot change bother you. All right. Brad's an asshole. It's not gonna change. It's not gonna change. So just accept it and we'll get along and we'll have a good summer. Boy, is that gonna be weird when you guys are camping sometime and you say, yeah, stop in for some beers, and we show up and she goes right into the camper. Sleeps. Oh no.
SPEAKER_00She's not gonna go in the camper. She's gonna tell you exactly what she's got to say. You think so? And I'm gonna prep her for it. Believe you me. Katie Brad's on his way here. Get ready. You guys remember this? His he said this. Remember, he said that.
SPEAKER_01Here's a whole list of notes. Read through it. She can't really be mad still.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, we'll find out.
SPEAKER_01Well, I guess we will. When is your first big camp in Twitter?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. Not sure. I haven't thought that far ahead.
SPEAKER_01Have they started setting anything up? Not that I know of.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And we do a lot of the holidays. So I mean we always do 4th of July.
SPEAKER_01That's Columbus Day's coming. Or maybe it has been. I think that has. Not really a holiday.
SPEAKER_00No, I I don't remember when that is.
SPEAKER_01Memorial Day. You gotta do something on Memorial Day, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we generally do um I don't know what we're doing for that.
SPEAKER_01It's the end of May.
SPEAKER_00Oh, it's coming up.
SPEAKER_01Better get on it.
SPEAKER_00Boy, we got some birthdays coming up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yours is uh April Fool's Day. Yep.
SPEAKER_00And Kelly's March 20th. First day of spring.
SPEAKER_01Fuck, that's today's 10th, 12th, 11th? Yeah. 11th. So she's a week away plus a day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yep. So first day of spring is her birthday.
SPEAKER_0142?
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah. Yep. Got me a cougar.
SPEAKER_01For a week.
SPEAKER_00No, I'll no.
SPEAKER_01Cause you'll be 41.
SPEAKER_00I'll be 41.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So April Fool's Day.
SPEAKER_01I'm going to have to ask her next time I talk to her how much of a spread is too long. I bet she says about a year. What about like a year and a week?
SPEAKER_00Is there a grace period in there? Oh.
SPEAKER_01Doing anything for a birthday?
SPEAKER_00I don't know what we're going to do yet.
SPEAKER_01And have any idea what day of the week that's on?
SPEAKER_00I do not know what day of the week that is.
SPEAKER_01Well, you got a calendar in there. It's got to be like a Saturday.
SPEAKER_00I know for my birthday and Julie's birthday. Julie's is like just after mine. Yep. Well, hers is the seventh.
SPEAKER_02Okay, a week.
SPEAKER_00So not just just almost a week. Or no, it is a week, isn't it? Oh, six. Yeah, because yeah, okay. So um we were talking about doing something together with all of our friends. You and Julie? She wishes. Yeah. Um keep dreaming, babe. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, we're going to uh we're gonna try to plan something to like we because we we all have a lot of mutual friends. Right. So just get our group of friends together and do something for the weekend, which would include you.
SPEAKER_01What are you doing?
SPEAKER_00We haven't figured it out yet.
SPEAKER_01Like going away for the weekend or something.
SPEAKER_00We're talking about like maybe top golf or maybe go to the casino. Doing some events. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So uh not top golf, that's a lot of fun. Oh god, it's a blast. Yeah, I didn't think it'd be that much fun. So much fun. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, March 20th. Kelly's birthday is on a Friday. Friday. Well, she ain't gonna be worth a shit on Saturday, folks. Uh more than likely not. Hopefully we're not going on a bike ride on the 21st.
SPEAKER_01Oh fuck. So yeah, goddamn.
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah. Anyone can email us.
SPEAKER_01Yes, they can.
SPEAKER_00Perpetually wrong at Outlook.com. Bingo. They can text 616-528-8293.
SPEAKER_01Yes, they can.
SPEAKER_00If you're planning on doing the motorcycle ride and you have not text your RSVP.
SPEAKER_01Please do.
SPEAKER_00June 6th. Take it off in Pewamo. We're gonna have a good 9 30-ish. Yep. We're gonna have a good ride. We're gonna end it for an early dinner at Swannee's.
SPEAKER_01Late lunch.
SPEAKER_00Late lunch, early dinner at Swanny's. Um it's gonna be a good time. Bring some money. Cars, bikes, whatever your whatever your mode of transportation is. Vans. Text it. Let us know. Yeah, I mean, people can pile in a van.
SPEAKER_01Trikes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Brad is uh really, really itching for this. He's he's all excited. I hope it turns out. I and I am too. I hope it turns out. It's gonna be a good time. So June 6th. Yep. Or if you're in a car, you just make sure your wipers are good.
SPEAKER_01Leave the top up.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Um should be a good time. I'm I'm looking forward to it. We're gonna have a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_01It should be.
SPEAKER_00Um and we'll we'll do some type of we'll come up with something for giveaways or something. You know, maybe maybe at the at the beginning of the day, everybody gets a ticket for a raffle. Oh, I got we were talking about that. Yeah. We'll we'll do some giveaways.
SPEAKER_01I was thinking. A lot of people are gonna be like, oh, motherfucker. We should do a 50-50.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We can collect it throughout the day.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00And then do the drawing. Must be present to win.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know what else I'm gonna do?
SPEAKER_01I'd like to hear.
SPEAKER_00Because you heard me doing my auctioneer, right?
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, did a good job.
SPEAKER_00And I'm gonna get better at it. I'm gonna start practicing. And I'm gonna auction off. And all expenses paid. Oh date. Oh. With Brad.
SPEAKER_02Oh no. I gotta be a woman.
SPEAKER_00Nope. Huh? Nope. In fact, I hope a tranny fucking doesn't taste better.
SPEAKER_01Fuck it. Then if that were to happen, you know what would happen after that?
SPEAKER_00What?
SPEAKER_01You would go down onto Logan. Some people call it MLK. Uh-huh. And you would seek one out just to get a blowy from a tranny, so I'm not one up on you.
SPEAKER_00And I would pay for that money.
SPEAKER_01I know it. You're going down a bad slippery slope here. Both gonna end up in the hospital with VD trying to win them.
SPEAKER_02I'm just as good as you.
SPEAKER_01Fuck. But yeah, I hope people show up and that's fun, and it's plenty of time to fucking plan it.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. And it's gonna be a good time. So on that note, we're gonna let you cut you guys loose, and uh, we'll talk to you next week. As always, stay positive and test negative. Goodbye.